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1
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Hello.
2
00:00:16,916 --> 00:00:18,247
Hello.
3
00:00:18,718 --> 00:00:20,015
l love my new job!
4
00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:23,014
-Honey, you're screaming.
-You bet your ass l am!
5
00:00:23,223 --> 00:00:25,157
l just had the best first day ever!
6
00:00:25,325 --> 00:00:27,486
The kitchen?
Twice as big as Allessandro's.
7
00:00:27,827 --> 00:00:29,488
Oh, that's great.
8
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:33,959
And clean? Not just health
department-clean, Monica-clean!
9
00:00:34,667 --> 00:00:35,725
Awesome.
10
00:00:36,102 --> 00:00:38,468
Oh, and the people are so nice.
11
00:00:38,671 --> 00:00:40,730
There's this one guy, Jeffrey,
he's the maitre d' .
12
00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:43,041
Chandler, you will love him!
13
00:00:43,243 --> 00:00:47,236
He is without a doubt
the funniest guy l have ever met!
14
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,796
-This is nice.
-l know.
15
00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:54,676
-You need both hands for that?
-Yeah, l kind of do.
16
00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:56,873
Well, how's this?
17
00:02:07,527 --> 00:02:09,859
Are you sure that's sweet enough?
18
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:17,562
Look at you two holding hands.
19
00:02:17,737 --> 00:02:19,637
ls this getting serious?
20
00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:23,632
Have you not talked about it yet?
21
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:27,378
Am l making you uncomfortable?
22
00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:31,541
lf you were bigger you'd hit me.
23
00:02:36,589 --> 00:02:37,681
l'm sorry.
24
00:02:37,857 --> 00:02:41,759
lt's obviously way too early
for us to be having that conversation.
25
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,096
-ls it?
-Maybe not. ls it?
26
00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:46,355
When l got divorced...
27
00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:49,661
...l didn't think l'd feel this way about
someone for a really long time.
28
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:52,669
Then again, l didn't think l'd meet
someone like you. And....
29
00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:56,900
This may be crazy-soon,
but l want you to have this.
30
00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:00,343
No, not.... That's gum.
31
00:03:02,715 --> 00:03:05,878
Oh, five bucks!
l love it when that happens, you know?
32
00:03:06,052 --> 00:03:08,111
-You don't know it's there--
-l know. Keep digging.
33
00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:09,613
Sorry.
34
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,218
lt's a key.
35
00:03:15,395 --> 00:03:18,762
To be honest, l think l'd prefer
the five dollars.
36
00:03:19,999 --> 00:03:22,365
-lt's to my apartment.
-Wow!
37
00:03:23,503 --> 00:03:25,027
Big step for Phoebe and Mike.
38
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:28,402
l don't want you to feel like you
have to give me your key....
39
00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:31,300
-No, l want to.
-Thank God.
40
00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:37,409
Wow. l was starting to think
l'd never meet someone that...
41
00:03:37,584 --> 00:03:39,381
...l wanted to do this with.
42
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:41,947
Here you go.
43
00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:45,820
-This is cool.
-lt really is.
44
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:51,721
l know it. lt is amazing.
These little things open doors!
45
00:03:55,768 --> 00:03:57,827
So l don't go back to work
for another four weeks...
46
00:03:58,037 --> 00:03:59,971
...but we would like our nanny
to start right away...
47
00:04:00,139 --> 00:04:01,902
...so that Emma could get
a chance to know her.
48
00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:04,243
l think that's really smart.
49
00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:06,776
The easier we can make the
transition for her the better.
50
00:04:06,946 --> 00:04:07,970
That's great. Great.
51
00:04:08,147 --> 00:04:10,513
-So do you have any questions for us?
-Not really.
52
00:04:10,683 --> 00:04:13,015
All right. Well, thank you
so much for coming.
53
00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:15,780
-Thank you.
-lt was really nice to meet you.
54
00:04:15,955 --> 00:04:18,446
-We will call you.
-Oh, you know, wait.
55
00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:20,320
l do have one question.
56
00:04:20,493 --> 00:04:23,462
Do you guys do random drug testing?
57
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:28,461
Boy, we hadn't really thought of that.
58
00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:32,594
That's cool. But if you do,
l'm gonna need three days' notice.
59
00:04:32,972 --> 00:04:34,200
Okey-dokey!
60
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,466
We're never gonna find a nanny.
61
00:04:37,644 --> 00:04:41,171
Come on, Rach. We will. l promise.
We have more interviews.
62
00:04:41,347 --> 00:04:45,477
Worse comes to worst, we can always
reconsider the first one we met with.
63
00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:49,447
-What, the blond with no bra?
-She was blond?
64
00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:53,083
Just a sec.
65
00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:55,859
Okay, this one's name is Sandy.
66
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:59,863
She's got a degree in
Early Childhood Education.
67
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:04,530
She worked for her last family
for three years.
68
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:09,741
Hi. l'm Sandy.
69
00:05:13,112 --> 00:05:15,637
And she's a little mannish.
70
00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:24,717
Oh, my God! David!
71
00:05:26,225 --> 00:05:30,184
-ls this a bad time?
-No, it's a great time! Come in!
72
00:05:30,396 --> 00:05:32,489
Wow! Hi!
73
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:36,226
Oh, my gosh! What are you doing here?
Are you back from Minsk?
74
00:05:36,402 --> 00:05:37,699
Just for a couple of days.
75
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:40,437
l'm here to explain to the people
who gave us our grant...
76
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:43,939
...why it's a positive thing that
we've spent all their money...
77
00:05:44,143 --> 00:05:46,873
...and accomplished nothing.
78
00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:49,378
Who cares? lt got you here.
79
00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:52,712
lt got me to New York.
Then l got in a cab at the airport...
80
00:05:52,885 --> 00:05:54,546
...and the guy said, ''Where to?''
81
00:05:54,721 --> 00:05:58,521
l just gave him your address.
l didn't even think about it.
82
00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:02,024
Where's your luggage?
83
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,463
Damn it.
84
00:06:07,066 --> 00:06:09,057
All right, l'll call the cab company.
85
00:06:09,335 --> 00:06:13,362
We can call them later.
Can you just stand there for a moment?
86
00:06:15,842 --> 00:06:17,002
Boy.
87
00:06:17,176 --> 00:06:20,009
There's an old Russian expression
that goes:
88
00:06:24,183 --> 00:06:26,174
Roughly translated, that means:
89
00:06:26,352 --> 00:06:29,617
''This thing that l'm looking at: Wow.''
90
00:06:31,824 --> 00:06:33,155
Thank you.
91
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:36,887
You should see me when--
Actually, no, l look pretty good.
92
00:06:37,964 --> 00:06:39,488
Are you kidding?
93
00:06:39,665 --> 00:06:42,327
You know, when you don't see
someone for a long time...
94
00:06:42,502 --> 00:06:44,970
...you build them up in your head,
you start thinking:
95
00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:47,868
''Come on, don't be crazy,
nobody's that beautiful.''
96
00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,531
But, well, you are.
97
00:06:52,478 --> 00:06:55,504
Well, so are you seeing anyone?
98
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:58,573
No.
99
00:07:00,052 --> 00:07:02,316
l'm just the worst person ever!
100
00:07:02,688 --> 00:07:05,054
How can l not tell David
that l'm seeing Mike?
101
00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:06,849
Maybe he didn't give you a chance.
102
00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:10,492
He said, ''Are you seeing someone?''
and l said, ''No.''
103
00:07:11,731 --> 00:07:14,427
Well, that would've been your window.
104
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:18,370
l mean, l don't know.
l was looking in his eyes...
105
00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:22,099
...and l was just thinking,
''Oh, my God, it's David. David's here.''
106
00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:24,708
He's so irresistible.
107
00:07:25,077 --> 00:07:28,205
-Really? The scientist guy?
-Really? Chandler?
108
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:36,383
Continue.
109
00:07:37,690 --> 00:07:38,714
Then it gets worse...
110
00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:40,950
...because l told him
l would see him tomorrow night.
111
00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:44,591
-Phoebe!
-l know! Evil!
112
00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:52,270
l like Mike so much, you know?
lt's just going really well. Oh, my God!
113
00:07:52,772 --> 00:07:54,797
lsn't it ironic that David
would show up...
114
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:57,465
...on the same day that
you and Mike exchange keys?
115
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:03,377
Yeah. You know, and given
my lifelong search for irony...
116
00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:05,574
...you can imagine how happy l am!
117
00:08:07,653 --> 00:08:11,145
-What are you gonna do?
-l mean, l guess l just have to...
118
00:08:11,357 --> 00:08:14,849
...tell David that nothing
can happen between us.
119
00:08:15,094 --> 00:08:17,289
Unless l don't.
120
00:08:17,463 --> 00:08:19,454
You know, complicated moral situation?
121
00:08:19,632 --> 00:08:22,294
-No right, no wrong?
-You have to tell David.
122
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:26,268
l knew l should've had this conversation
with Joey.
123
00:08:28,808 --> 00:08:31,436
Funniest guy she's ever met.
124
00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:33,670
l'm funny, right?
125
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:36,412
What do you know? You're a door.
126
00:08:36,582 --> 00:08:39,312
You just like knock-knock jokes.
127
00:08:41,954 --> 00:08:44,422
Save it for inside.
128
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:52,191
So Oklahoma's a crazy place. You know,
they call it the Sooner State.
129
00:08:52,398 --> 00:08:54,832
Frankly, l'd sooner be in any other state!
130
00:08:56,969 --> 00:08:59,437
And what's with Oklahoma
having a panhandle?
131
00:08:59,605 --> 00:09:01,300
Can all states have stuff like that?
132
00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:04,841
Hey, yeah, l'm from the waistband
of Wyoming.
133
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:09,105
But when l was 7,
we headed over to the crotch.
134
00:09:10,650 --> 00:09:12,447
Was your cabin pressurized?
135
00:09:13,819 --> 00:09:16,845
And don't get me started on the way
the people from Tulsa talk.
136
00:09:17,657 --> 00:09:18,817
Okay.
137
00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:24,862
What's with the word ''y'all''? You know,
just two words just pushed together?
138
00:09:25,031 --> 00:09:28,728
Are we all allowed to do that?
Because if so, l say why stop there?
139
00:09:28,935 --> 00:09:32,132
You know, your new poodle
could be your noodle.
140
00:09:32,371 --> 00:09:34,999
And fried chicken could be fricken.
141
00:09:35,708 --> 00:09:38,074
Waiter? Waiter, excuse me,
l'll have the fricken!
142
00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:43,546
See, that's funny with the fricken, right?
143
00:09:43,716 --> 00:09:47,584
No, it just reminds me of something
this guy did today at work.
144
00:09:47,753 --> 00:09:49,744
l told you about that funny guy, Jeffrey,
right?
145
00:09:50,222 --> 00:09:51,849
Yeah, he came up.
146
00:09:52,725 --> 00:09:57,025
Well, he did this bit.
You probably had to be there...
147
00:09:57,196 --> 00:10:01,860
...but it was Liza Minnelli locked
in our freezer eating a raw chicken.
148
00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:10,208
-Were you there?
-No, but it sounds fricken funny.
149
00:10:13,179 --> 00:10:17,172
l really understand how hard it's gotta be
to leave your child with another person.
150
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:20,615
l mean, it's like leaving behind
a piece of your heart.
151
00:10:21,387 --> 00:10:24,982
Sandy, that's exactly what it is.
152
00:10:26,392 --> 00:10:28,292
Are you gay?
153
00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:35,766
l'm sorry, that's our Ross.
He's just Mr. Shoot Straight From The Hip.
154
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,731
lt's okay. l get that a lot doing what l do.
155
00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:43,238
But l am straight. l'm engaged, actually.
156
00:10:43,843 --> 00:10:46,539
-Her name's Delia.
-That's pretty.
157
00:10:48,247 --> 00:10:52,581
So you're just, like,
a guy who's a nanny.
158
00:10:54,754 --> 00:10:58,087
l realize how it's a bit unorthodox
for some people.
159
00:10:58,257 --> 00:11:02,284
But l really believe the most satisfying
thing you can do with your life...
160
00:11:02,461 --> 00:11:03,951
...is take care of a child.
161
00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:06,058
Okay.
162
00:11:08,734 --> 00:11:10,099
Like at my last job.
163
00:11:10,269 --> 00:11:12,396
l met Daniel when he was
3 weeks old.
164
00:11:12,571 --> 00:11:16,166
And l got to watch him grow
into this awesome person.
165
00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:19,469
When l left, l said, ''l'll see you soon.''
166
00:11:19,645 --> 00:11:22,671
And he said to me, ''Skadandy?''
167
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,747
That was his name for me.
168
00:11:27,286 --> 00:11:31,950
''l'll see you every day right in....''
169
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:41,789
-lt's okay.
-Yeah, kids say all kinds of crap.
170
00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:48,502
Oh, God, she must need
her diaper changed.
171
00:11:48,674 --> 00:11:53,407
-l can take care of that, if you want.
-That would be great.
172
00:11:55,548 --> 00:12:00,076
Just so you know, these dinosaur toys
aren't really age-appropriate.
173
00:12:00,252 --> 00:12:01,947
They're mine.
174
00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:08,354
Also not age-appropriate.
175
00:12:10,696 --> 00:12:13,824
l love him, l love him, l love him!
176
00:12:13,999 --> 00:12:16,160
Come on. Rach, he's a guy!
177
00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:18,428
So what? He's smart. He's qualified.
178
00:12:18,604 --> 00:12:20,765
Give me one good reason
we shouldn't try him out.
179
00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:24,439
Because it's weird!
180
00:12:24,944 --> 00:12:26,070
Why?
181
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:34,246
Wow, l never looked at it that way.
182
00:12:35,554 --> 00:12:37,988
What kind of a job is that for a man?
A nanny?
183
00:12:38,557 --> 00:12:41,253
l mean, it's like if a woman
wanted to be--
184
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:42,724
Yes?
185
00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:46,461
King?
186
00:12:48,367 --> 00:12:51,894
l hope you don't mind. l used
some of my homemade lotion on Emma.
187
00:12:52,071 --> 00:12:56,167
lt's a mixture of calendula and
honey cream. lt'll dry that rash right up.
188
00:12:56,375 --> 00:12:59,469
Plus, it keeps the hands young.
189
00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:08,412
Yes! Sandy, you're hired!
190
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,653
That's great!
191
00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:15,619
l'm sorry.
192
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:19,253
lt's just such an emotional thing
when you're welcomed into a new family.
193
00:13:19,598 --> 00:13:20,758
Oh, God. Come here.
194
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,795
You gotta be at least bi.
195
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,484
l need you to set me up for a joke.
196
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:48,126
When Monica's around,
ask me about fire trucks.
197
00:13:49,195 --> 00:13:53,291
l don't know, Chandler. l'm not
so good with remembering lines.
198
00:13:55,701 --> 00:13:58,226
Thank God your livelihood
doesn't depend on it.
199
00:13:58,404 --> 00:14:00,235
l know, right?
200
00:14:01,373 --> 00:14:02,738
Why are we doing this?
201
00:14:03,142 --> 00:14:06,543
Monica says that her maitre d' is
the funniest guy she's ever met.
202
00:14:06,712 --> 00:14:10,705
-Seriously? She actually said that?
-Yes. Am l crazy to be this upset?
203
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:13,849
-No! Being funny's your thing!
-Yeah!
204
00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:17,622
Without that, you just got
''lame with women'' !
205
00:14:18,557 --> 00:14:19,717
Hi! There you are.
206
00:14:19,892 --> 00:14:21,154
Fire trucks!
207
00:14:33,305 --> 00:14:34,966
-Hi.
-Hi.
208
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:38,002
l brought you this from Minsk.
209
00:14:38,177 --> 00:14:43,410
You're not gonna belief this.
This is lemon-flavored vodka.
210
00:14:44,683 --> 00:14:46,947
Yeah, we actually have this here.
211
00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:51,051
l traded four pairs of Levi's for that.
212
00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:53,917
Thanks anyway.
213
00:14:56,228 --> 00:15:00,324
Wow. You look even more beautiful
than you did yesterday.
214
00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:04,599
ln fact, l'm going to kiss you now.
215
00:15:05,204 --> 00:15:07,695
-Wait, wait.
-l can't get away with stuff like that.
216
00:15:07,873 --> 00:15:10,865
lt sounded sexy in my head, so l....
217
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:13,234
No, no, it's not that.
218
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:18,680
Remember when you asked me if
l was seeing someone and l said no?
219
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:21,877
Well, l am. His name's Mike.
220
00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:28,718
-l should've told you.
-No.
221
00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:31,520
Well, yeah.
222
00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:36,796
l'm sorry. l wanted to tell you,
but then l just got lost in your eyes...
223
00:15:36,969 --> 00:15:39,870
...and l just forgot all about....
224
00:15:41,073 --> 00:15:43,268
-Mike?
-Right, yes.
225
00:15:44,143 --> 00:15:50,048
-l'm sorry. l'm sorry.
-Well, it's okay. l understand.
226
00:15:51,216 --> 00:15:53,013
Well, are you happy with this guy?
227
00:15:53,319 --> 00:15:55,287
-l am happy.
-Damn it.
228
00:15:56,021 --> 00:15:58,922
l'm sorry. l don't mean that.
l want you to be happy.
229
00:15:59,091 --> 00:16:02,390
But only with me. No, that's not fair.
Who cares. Leave him.
230
00:16:02,561 --> 00:16:05,792
l don't mean that. Yes, l do.
l'm sorry.
231
00:16:06,165 --> 00:16:10,329
l think l should probably go.
232
00:16:10,769 --> 00:16:14,569
But, David, l just want you to know that,
you know...
233
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:19,301
...telling you this is one of the
hardest things l've ever had to do.
234
00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:22,246
Well, just so you know...
235
00:16:22,414 --> 00:16:25,542
...hearing it wasn't exactly
a Vladnik carnival, either.
236
00:16:27,619 --> 00:16:32,056
-Can we at least hug goodbye?
-Of course. Yeah.
237
00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:43,096
You know, and a kiss on the cheek
wouldn't be totally inappropriate.
238
00:16:43,268 --> 00:16:46,066
-No. No.
-l mean....
239
00:16:49,108 --> 00:16:50,439
-ln Minsk?
-Yeah?
240
00:16:50,609 --> 00:16:53,203
lt's two on each cheek...
241
00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:58,339
-...and one on the lips.
-Well, if that's what they do in Minsk.
242
00:17:03,889 --> 00:17:06,221
ln New York, it's--
243
00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:16,491
Oh, boy.
244
00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:22,397
ls everything all right?
245
00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:24,799
Oh, yeah. No, it's fine. lt's fine.
246
00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:28,811
Sandy was just telling me about how he
proposed to his fianc�e...
247
00:17:29,181 --> 00:17:30,842
...and it was so beautiful.
248
00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:34,242
Her favorite flower is the camellia.
From the poem--
249
00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:36,644
l can't hear it again!
250
00:17:36,822 --> 00:17:39,188
You know, l can't tell it again!
251
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:41,716
And l'm fine never having heard it.
252
00:17:43,862 --> 00:17:48,561
-Rach, can l see you for a sec?
-Yeah. Excuse me.
253
00:17:51,670 --> 00:17:56,903
Do you realize that man has cried
in our apartment three times?
254
00:17:57,376 --> 00:18:00,402
l haven't cried that many times
since l moved in!
255
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:06,374
Come on, Ross, you got a little misty
when Ben broke your l-heart-fossils mug.
256
00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:11,146
l'll have you know that was a farewell gift
from my colleagues at the museum.
257
00:18:11,323 --> 00:18:15,726
-Okay? They all chipped in for that.
-They must have all loved you very much.
258
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:20,092
Look, Ross, Sandy's just sensitive.
That's all.
259
00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:24,702
Okay, okay. See, that is the problem.
He is too sensitive.
260
00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:26,833
Too sensitive to take care of our baby?
261
00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:31,199
No, l mean, that guy--
These are amazing!
262
00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:33,411
Sandy made madeleines.
263
00:18:33,745 --> 00:18:36,873
This is exactly
what l'm talking about.
264
00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:42,578
What kind of a guy makes delicate
French cookies?
265
00:18:42,754 --> 00:18:46,212
They're not even butch,
manly cookies with....
266
00:18:46,391 --> 00:18:49,952
You know, with chunks!
267
00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:55,795
Well, you know,
l don't know what to say.
268
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:59,904
l mean, l never thought of you as a guy
who needed his men to be men.
269
00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:05,738
l gotta tell you, Ross, it's not like you
just came in from branding cattle.
270
00:19:08,914 --> 00:19:12,782
Hey, there's sensitive and
there's too sensitive.
271
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,848
Okay, what is too sensitive?
272
00:19:40,979 --> 00:19:43,641
No, l can't. l can't do this. lt's bad.
273
00:19:44,249 --> 00:19:48,583
But it's nice. And nice is good.
274
00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:52,315
And good is not bad.
Ergo, we should keep kissing.
275
00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:55,023
-No, no. No.
-But....
276
00:19:55,961 --> 00:19:57,622
Ergo.
277
00:19:59,097 --> 00:20:02,032
Look, David, if you had never left, then...
278
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,965
...yeah, we'd probably still be together
right now.
279
00:20:05,137 --> 00:20:11,599
But you did leave. And l'm with Mike
and l really care about him.
280
00:20:12,744 --> 00:20:14,143
Okay.
281
00:20:14,613 --> 00:20:16,808
Well, he's very lucky.
282
00:20:17,449 --> 00:20:18,814
Thank you.
283
00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:22,609
Goodbye.
284
00:20:30,629 --> 00:20:32,494
The key works.
285
00:20:32,664 --> 00:20:34,393
Hi, Mike.
286
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:40,228
And, you, thanks for the face massage!
Thank you!
287
00:20:42,574 --> 00:20:45,907
Did Rachel tell you we hired
a male nanny?
288
00:20:46,278 --> 00:20:47,575
l think that's great!
289
00:20:47,946 --> 00:20:53,407
Did she tell you he plays the recorder,
recites poetry and bakes madeleines?
290
00:20:55,988 --> 00:21:00,891
-How are they?
-Lighter than air, but that's not the point.
291
00:21:03,328 --> 00:21:05,592
Rachel and l hired a male nanny.
292
00:21:06,565 --> 00:21:07,998
Really?
293
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,259
Guys do that?
294
00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:12,903
-That's weird.
-Thank you!
295
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:15,297
-That's like a woman wanting to be--
-What?
296
00:21:15,474 --> 00:21:19,069
-What's the end of that sentence?
-Yes. What is the end of that sentence?
297
00:21:22,314 --> 00:21:24,145
A penis model!
298
00:21:29,855 --> 00:21:32,653
Anyway, did you tell Chandler
that some guy from work...
299
00:21:32,824 --> 00:21:34,724
...is the funniest guy you ever met?
300
00:21:34,993 --> 00:21:38,019
-Yeah. So?
-Wow!
301
00:21:38,797 --> 00:21:41,163
Really? Do you not know Chandler?
302
00:21:42,834 --> 00:21:47,601
ls that why he's acting so weird?
He's jealous?
303
00:21:47,773 --> 00:21:48,933
Oh, my God, that is crazy.
304
00:21:49,107 --> 00:21:51,507
-lt's not like l'm attracted to Jeffrey.
-So what?
305
00:21:51,677 --> 00:21:56,546
Being funny is Chandler's thing.
Like Ross' thing is....
306
00:22:01,286 --> 00:22:03,345
Science?
307
00:22:03,622 --> 00:22:07,023
Academia? Being a good father?
308
00:22:11,263 --> 00:22:13,731
-l can't believe he's that upset.
-Are you kidding?
309
00:22:13,899 --> 00:22:18,495
That's like Chandler saying he met someone
who was more uptight than you.
310
00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:24,469
-Excuse me?
-l'm sorry. Sorry. More controlling than you.
311
00:22:25,944 --> 00:22:28,037
-Well, that's better.
-Yeah, okay.
312
00:22:28,213 --> 00:22:30,545
You have to do some damage control.
313
00:22:30,716 --> 00:22:33,150
Because he's feeling like--
314
00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:37,213
What are you guys talking about?
315
00:22:38,156 --> 00:22:41,853
Rachel and l hired a male nanny.
316
00:22:42,294 --> 00:22:45,422
You got a man who's a nanny?
317
00:22:45,597 --> 00:22:46,894
You got a ''manny''?
318
00:22:56,575 --> 00:22:58,566
You know, l don't mind a male nanny...
319
00:22:58,744 --> 00:23:00,575
...but l do draw the line
at male wet nurse.
320
00:23:06,284 --> 00:23:08,411
You are on a roll, mister!
321
00:23:09,254 --> 00:23:12,189
lf l'd known you guys were coming over,
l would've brought more pizza.
322
00:23:14,526 --> 00:23:18,656
Okay! Okay! Stop it, you!
You stop it!
323
00:23:21,032 --> 00:23:22,897
What is so funny about that?
324
00:23:27,906 --> 00:23:29,305
Monica?
325
00:23:30,208 --> 00:23:33,541
l don't know, it's....
Just the way you say it.
326
00:23:33,712 --> 00:23:37,671
l mean, you're funny. You have
that funny thing. You're a funny guy!
327
00:23:41,086 --> 00:23:43,850
Did you tell her what we talked about?
328
00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:56,731
So those were pity laughs?
Pity laughs?!
329
00:23:57,436 --> 00:23:59,768
Honey, listen.
330
00:24:00,138 --> 00:24:02,197
You have nothing to worry about
with Jeffrey.
331
00:24:02,374 --> 00:24:04,501
Oh, yeah? ls he funnier than me?
332
00:24:04,876 --> 00:24:07,367
Well, you're different funny.
333
00:24:07,546 --> 00:24:09,878
l mean, you're more sarcastic.
334
00:24:10,048 --> 00:24:13,609
Well, he does bits and impressions
and limericks.
335
00:24:14,019 --> 00:24:15,043
l do limericks.
336
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:20,714
There once was a man named Chandler
whose wife made him die inside.
337
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,890
Honey, you know l think you're hilarious.
338
00:24:25,063 --> 00:24:26,963
You know that joke
you told me last week?
339
00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:30,033
The one about Jerry Lewis
and the girl with the lazy eye.
340
00:24:30,335 --> 00:24:31,768
That slayed me.
341
00:24:32,237 --> 00:24:36,333
Hey! l made up that joke
and told it to you.
342
00:24:40,078 --> 00:24:44,447
-Not knowing when to shut up.
-Yep, that's my thing.
343
00:24:47,285 --> 00:24:50,584
So how many guys have your key?
344
00:24:51,723 --> 00:24:53,657
lt's not as bad as it looks.
345
00:24:54,025 --> 00:24:55,890
l was saying goodbye to an old friend.
346
00:24:56,261 --> 00:24:58,252
Your lipstick's on his mouth.
347
00:24:59,197 --> 00:25:02,166
We just happen to wear the same shade.
348
00:25:03,468 --> 00:25:06,596
No, David and l did used to go out.
349
00:25:06,972 --> 00:25:11,909
But years ago. And he lives in Minsk.
He's only in town for a couple days.
350
00:25:12,611 --> 00:25:14,272
-Did you--?
-No. No.
351
00:25:14,446 --> 00:25:16,107
-Kiss him?
-Oh, well, yeah.
352
00:25:17,749 --> 00:25:20,877
Yes, but--
Look, she really likes you.
353
00:25:21,052 --> 00:25:24,317
ln fact, she stopped
what was a pretty amazing kiss.
354
00:25:24,489 --> 00:25:28,016
-David, David, David.
-No, no. He should hear this.
355
00:25:28,193 --> 00:25:31,629
l don't think you realize
just how lucky you are, fella.
356
00:25:31,863 --> 00:25:34,195
-Don't point your finger at me!
-Why?
357
00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:35,924
What are you gonna do about it?
358
00:25:36,334 --> 00:25:39,030
Well, l'll show you
what l'm gonna do about it.
359
00:25:39,204 --> 00:25:41,695
-Oh, really? Really?
-You want some of that?
360
00:25:45,577 --> 00:25:48,705
Stop it! Stop it!
Before someone gets really hurt!
361
00:25:51,416 --> 00:25:53,884
Here, David, you should just go.
362
00:25:54,052 --> 00:25:55,349
All right.
363
00:25:56,588 --> 00:26:01,287
But if l ever do come back from Minsk,
well, you just better watch out.
364
00:26:01,660 --> 00:26:04,720
-lf l go to Minsk, you better watch out.
-Oh, you're going to Minsk?
365
00:26:04,930 --> 00:26:07,763
-Well, l might.
-Really?
366
00:26:07,933 --> 00:26:11,266
Well, if you do, come in the spring.
lt's just lovely there.
367
00:26:11,937 --> 00:26:13,495
l've heard that, actually.
368
00:26:13,672 --> 00:26:16,106
Okay, well, guys?
369
00:26:17,442 --> 00:26:19,034
-Goodbye, Phoebe.
-Bye.
370
00:26:19,277 --> 00:26:22,804
-Hey, what, are you kidding me?
-Right-o. Right-o.
371
00:26:26,518 --> 00:26:28,452
Take good care of her.
372
00:26:31,289 --> 00:26:33,450
l'm sorry. l'm so sorry.
373
00:26:33,625 --> 00:26:36,958
lf you want your key back,
l totally understand.
374
00:26:38,530 --> 00:26:41,624
-lt's never gonna happen again, right?
-Right. Never. l swear.
375
00:26:45,437 --> 00:26:49,498
l just want to say, if you do ever
come to Minsk, that's my number.
376
00:26:49,674 --> 00:26:53,132
We'll party up Vladnik-style.
377
00:27:09,060 --> 00:27:10,652
Yeah! All right!
378
00:27:11,029 --> 00:27:15,227
Hey, Ross! Check it out!
Sandy taught me ''Hot Cross Buns'' !
379
00:27:15,834 --> 00:27:18,359
Really? Sounded like ''Three Blind Mice.''
380
00:27:18,737 --> 00:27:21,501
-''Three Blind Mice'' goes like this.
-l swear to God.
381
00:27:25,243 --> 00:27:28,906
-Who's up for puppets?
-Me! l'm up for puppets!
382
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:31,913
Well, please welcome:
383
00:27:32,083 --> 00:27:34,051
The Snufflebumps!
384
00:27:34,219 --> 00:27:37,882
Who wants to be Mr. Wigglemunch and
who's gonna be the Grumpus?
385
00:27:38,056 --> 00:27:43,255
How exactly is a 2-month-old
supposed to appreciate puppets?
386
00:27:43,628 --> 00:27:47,758
Studies show that the movement and
colors help their cerebral development.
387
00:27:47,932 --> 00:27:51,493
The whimsical characters are just for us.
388
00:27:55,573 --> 00:27:58,440
l want to be Mr. Wigglemunch!
389
00:27:59,611 --> 00:28:00,873
Oh, my God.
390
00:28:01,112 --> 00:28:03,808
Well, l guess we know who's
gonna be the Grumpus!
391
00:28:09,387 --> 00:28:11,947
-That was kind of rude.
-Oh, l'm sorry.
392
00:28:12,123 --> 00:28:16,150
Please apologize to Sandy
and the Snufflebumps for me.
393
00:28:16,761 --> 00:28:19,662
-You know, he was just doing his job.
-You know what?
394
00:28:19,831 --> 00:28:26,066
l'm sorry l'm the only one who isn't
in love with Gary Poppins out there.
395
00:28:28,540 --> 00:28:31,100
But l just-- l can't go through with this.
396
00:28:31,476 --> 00:28:32,943
-Come on.
-No! You know what?
397
00:28:33,178 --> 00:28:38,138
l would never force you to hire someone
you were this uncomfortable with.
398
00:28:41,753 --> 00:28:43,687
That's true.
399
00:28:43,855 --> 00:28:45,049
Thank you.
400
00:28:45,290 --> 00:28:47,622
You want to fire him,
so you have to go do it.
401
00:28:50,929 --> 00:28:56,299
So you see, Wigglemunch,
that's why it's important to share.
402
00:28:58,636 --> 00:29:01,935
l am learning so much from you.
403
00:29:06,845 --> 00:29:08,107
Well, l'm off to Tulsa.
404
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:11,711
So if your maitre d' friend
has any funny Oklahoma jokes...
405
00:29:11,883 --> 00:29:16,650
...tell him to e-mail me at
www-dot-ha-ha-not-so-much-dot-com!
406
00:29:18,857 --> 00:29:20,449
Honey, you can relax.
407
00:29:20,658 --> 00:29:24,025
Last night at work Jeffrey
told this really sexist joke.
408
00:29:24,195 --> 00:29:27,130
-After that, not so funny anymore.
-Really?
409
00:29:27,499 --> 00:29:31,128
See, that's the thing.
You gotta keep it smart, people!
410
00:29:32,370 --> 00:29:34,634
Don't miss that flight.
You know l love you.
411
00:29:35,006 --> 00:29:37,167
l love you too.
412
00:29:37,375 --> 00:29:41,141
-And l like you as a friend.
-Right.
413
00:29:41,312 --> 00:29:43,837
-See you later.
-See you.
414
00:29:45,416 --> 00:29:48,908
-Did the guy really make that joke?
-No, he still kills me.
415
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:53,386
Last night he had me laughing so hard,
l swear a little pee came out.
416
00:30:01,733 --> 00:30:02,893
Here goes.
417
00:30:03,134 --> 00:30:06,399
l can't watch. lt's like firing Elmo.
418
00:30:11,042 --> 00:30:12,441
Sandy? Hi.
419
00:30:12,644 --> 00:30:14,373
-Hi.
-We....
420
00:30:14,546 --> 00:30:16,571
We kind of need to talk.
421
00:30:20,585 --> 00:30:22,883
l'm afraid it's not working out.
422
00:30:28,026 --> 00:30:33,054
l mean, Rachel and l think you are great
with Emma.
423
00:30:33,231 --> 00:30:36,462
-We just feel--
-You! You feel!
424
00:30:37,368 --> 00:30:41,862
l just feel...
425
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:45,407
...that the chemistry isn't right.
l'm sorry.
426
00:30:45,577 --> 00:30:48,239
We're more than happy to give you
a good recommendation.
427
00:30:48,613 --> 00:30:52,811
No, that's okay. l had a lot of offers
from other families.
428
00:30:52,984 --> 00:30:55,282
l just picked you guys because...
429
00:30:55,453 --> 00:30:59,549
-...l liked you the best.
-Oh, damn you, Geller!
430
00:31:02,794 --> 00:31:05,786
Anyway, well l'm glad
there's no hard feelings.
431
00:31:06,197 --> 00:31:10,827
None at all. You need to be happy
with whoever is in your home.
432
00:31:11,069 --> 00:31:14,596
Although, if you don't mind telling me...
433
00:31:14,772 --> 00:31:18,230
...what was the problem? Maybe it's
something l can work on in the future.
434
00:31:18,943 --> 00:31:24,575
No, you know, it's nothing you did.
lt's my issue.
435
00:31:25,717 --> 00:31:27,275
What is it?
436
00:31:29,754 --> 00:31:31,346
Please?
437
00:31:34,959 --> 00:31:41,421
You know, l'm just not that comfortable
with a guy who's as sensitive as you.
438
00:31:42,467 --> 00:31:43,491
That's fair.
439
00:31:44,535 --> 00:31:48,164
Although, can l ask,
why do you think that is?
440
00:31:48,806 --> 00:31:50,637
Why? l don't know.
441
00:31:58,349 --> 00:32:00,874
Maybe because of my father?
442
00:32:05,256 --> 00:32:07,747
You know, when l was growing up,
he was a tough guy.
443
00:32:09,193 --> 00:32:13,857
You know, and as a kid,
l wasn't the athlete l am now.
444
00:32:15,166 --> 00:32:17,964
l play squash!
445
00:32:21,539 --> 00:32:27,136
Anyway, l always got the feeling
he thought l was too sensitive.
446
00:32:27,645 --> 00:32:28,976
That must have been hard.
447
00:32:30,515 --> 00:32:32,540
lt was hard.
448
00:32:33,818 --> 00:32:39,017
l remember l was in my bedroom,
playing with my dinosaurs....
449
00:32:40,091 --> 00:32:41,422
Playing and learning.
450
00:32:44,095 --> 00:32:49,931
And my father walks in and says,
''What are you doing with those things?
451
00:32:50,168 --> 00:32:56,073
What's wrong with you? Why aren't you
outside playing like a real boy?''
452
00:32:56,507 --> 00:32:59,670
-But you are a real boy.
-l know l am!
453
00:33:01,946 --> 00:33:07,077
And when it's summer and it's hot,
why can't you wear a tank top?!
454
00:33:08,453 --> 00:33:14,688
lt's all right. Crying is good.
lt lets the boo-hoos out.
455
00:33:17,362 --> 00:33:19,523
Here comes some more!
456
00:33:24,669 --> 00:33:31,165
Emma, one day you're gonna grow up
and be a big girl, just like your daddy.
457
00:33:36,414 --> 00:33:39,645
And what's the one kind of boat
that can never ever sink?
458
00:33:40,018 --> 00:33:44,819
-What kind?
-A friend ship!
459
00:33:46,724 --> 00:33:50,023
Wow! You blow my mind!
460
00:33:51,996 --> 00:33:54,021
l gotta go.
461
00:33:54,232 --> 00:33:55,995
-How much do l owe you?
-Twenty bucks.
462
00:33:56,634 --> 00:33:59,865
lt's like the cheapest college ever!
463
00:34:00,038 --> 00:34:02,700
-l'll see you tomorrow.
-Okay, bye-bye, Skadandy.
464
00:34:08,246 --> 00:34:10,237
[ENGLlSH]
36765
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