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Ben, what I'm saying is if you're making a pecan spinach salad for your wife and
her ten friends at a Tupperware party, it is the exact definition of pussy
whipped. What do you mean, pussy whipped?
What do you mean, what do I mean?
I bet you gotta ask her how many squares of toilet paper to wipe your ass after
she gives you permission to take a dump.
Frank, I'm only telling you this because we're bros, right?
You are so seriously twisted.
I think the only effective cure for you is a fun lobotomy. Oh, yeah? Yeah. All
right, I'll tell you what. You stand your ground, and you look your Nazi
in the eye, and you tell her, I'm playing poker with my boys.
Yeah, and I don't want to smack out of your pie hole.
You do that, I won't tell anybody you're gay.
You're a dick.
At least I have one.
Come on, dick.
Get out of here and hurry up. This place creeps me out.
What? Don't tell me you're buying all that urban legend crap.
We've never found any owners of these abandoned vehicles, have we?
Like they just vanished off the face of the earth.
Will you just chill out? I'm chill.
I just want to hurry up and go home.
Let's do this.
Do you have to say that?
You forgot this. Oh, thank you very much. Hi.
Mmm. Tastes more like vanilla.
Mmm. Mmm.
Relax.
We'll be back before dinner.
Right.
Bro -ball pig.
I don't know why you waste so much time on that stupid site. Don't hate just
because I got over a thousand friends.
Big deal. Horny guys with dirty penises on buddy lists are not friends.
Don't need to get laid. Excuse me? No, not you, her.
I'll take that.
Gina, when was the last time you rode the baloney pony in the pound town?
She hasn't even had a first time. Yes, I have.
Trust me, she hasn't. How would you know? Because you tell me everything and
haven't told me about that.
Maybe I didn't want to tell you.
Or maybe not everyone wants to be a ho -bag, Loomy.
Please, how many ho -bags do you know that are top of the pre -med class?
I can think of one off the top of my head.
Mikey!
Woo -woo!
Hey. I'm done.
I thought it was just us.
What's up, guys?
What's up, big dog? Hey, how's it going?
Lindsay? Guys?
What's up? Where you guys going?
Somewhere you're not.
Oh.
Very funny. We found this cool hiking spot online and, you know, we thought,
trip. Yeah?
Awesome. Yeah. Sounds pretty legit.
Yeah. God, I love nature.
So, myself.
Do you think it would be cool if I actually cruised with you guys?
You know, it's kind of tight. No, I don't mind that at all. I could just
camera bag and be back in, like, a minute. Is that cool?
Well... Just hold on for one second, okay?
If he turns this trip into one of his stupid documentaries, I swear I'm going
punch him in the face hard.
Remember when he tried to put us in his webisode?
And you were all paranoid he was just trying to get me to show my boobs?
Yeah, I'd watch that.
Oh, really? Would you? Have you seen that skank? What? Are you jealous?
Hell no. Have you seen that girl?
Well, not since you found out he only showers once a week. And then she
hightailed it out of that.
I have been asking that question since freshman year.
He's not that bad. He's just a boy with a dream.
Check this out. I am so proud. I've got this little bad rider online for way
cheap, and it shoots HD.
Yeah, I got a top -of -the -line, shoots 1080p, actually.
Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Yeah, but mine's smaller.
Exactly. True.
Wait, are we gonna spend all day comparing sizes?
You guys are proud to be out here, Tina?
Lindsay, uh, all right.
Hey, Mikey, tell us, where are we and what are we doing right now?
Well, we're in the woods and we're going hiking.
Okay, and what else?
And, uh, don't call me Mikey.
Mike, I was just kidding. I was trying to get some B -roll, man.
Mike.
Venus enlargement.
Call 1 -800 -ENLARGE.
Gain 4 to 6 inches safe and permanent.
That's a game changer.
Oh, it's there.
I can go.
It scared me.
Where the hell did you come from?
Hello?
Are your parents around here? Are you lost or something? What's going on?
I want to play a game.
A game? No, I'm sorry. I've got to get back to my friends.
What?
Your toy?
What is it?
It's your guardian.
Oh, my guardian, of course.
Don't lose it, or you die.
You all die.
I die.
Perfect. Well, hey, love to play with you, but I'm not a camp counselor, so
got to get back to my friends.
Hey! Hey, God, don't make up on people like that.
What are you doing? We're all waiting for you. Who are you talking to? This
right here. I think he might be lost or something.
What kid?
That's weird. There's a kid here a second ago. I was filming him and he
a toy.
Okay, sicko. Filming little kids and playing with toys?
Guess maybe he ran off to his parents or something.
Yeah, I would too if some strange creepo was filming me.
Guys, come on, let's go!
Okay, so this is the abandoned road we're looking for.
This is random.
Yeah, apparently this road goes nowhere.
It's not even on any of the maps.
What's the story?
Well, I guess there was this dam, like, decades ago, and it broke, and a bunch
of people died, and then everybody moved away.
Oh, that sucks.
I think we're going this way.
Come on.
All right, this will be perfect footage for my site.
Does anyone even watch your stuff?
Yeah, I'm sure they do, Tina.
Thanks for asking.
Hey, you know what would be kind of fun, actually, is if we, uh, I cut some
footage together and kind of pieced it into, like, a little web series or
something like that. We could even call it, like, The Adventures of Alex Not
Talking.
Why is there so much sexual tension between us recently?
Ew.
So, Michael, check it out. Um, I'm going to start a production company up.
by myself pretty soon, and I was thinking that, you know, when the time
I'd shoot your guys' wedding for you for, like, a totally discounted price.
Wow, a discount.
Wedding? Slow your roll, Mr. Director.
Who says you'd be invited?
Oh, I'm coming to that.
Plus, I gotta get stuff for my reel, so, you know. I'm just saying.
Maybe you should just not say anything.
I second that.
I hate it when you tell me to relax.
Well, what word would you like to use, then?
It's not the word. It's the tone.
I love birds in distress.
Can we not turn this road trip into a mini therapy session?
Please.
Is anyone else getting technology withdrawal?
I swear, no cell phone, no internet.
All day, I'm dying already.
Listen to all those frogs.
God, I love nature.
Yeah, we remember.
You're just dying to post something on your wall, aren't you?
Yes, actually.
Is it really that interesting to post about hiking in the woods?
Better than those people who write all that philosophical crap on their wall
updates. What do you mean?
There's this guy I know who's always writing me daily quotes. It's so
Like what?
For example, he wrote yesterday, begin to see the world as it is and then be
yourself regardless of your past or future.
I mean, really?
What does that mean?
Who cares?
And today he writes, live every day as if it's your last because one day it may
be true.
Hey, that's actually a good one. You missed my point. It's just so annoying
people do stuff like that. Because it's like they're trying to pass off as some
intellectual when you know they just looked it up on ConfuciusMe .com or
something. It's this way.
Is that a real website?
No, you idiot. I'm proving a point.
You should totally register that domain name.
You don't think that's a poison house, do you?
No.
I don't think so.
No, not a poison house. It's this way.
All right. Hey, everybody. It's me, Alex.
It's Saturday, and we've been hiking for a few hours now.
We don't have any cell phone or internet connection. We're out in the middle of
nowhere, and on top of that, no status update.
So, Mr. Stella, can you tell us what it's like to be this removed from
That's very nice. Thank you for that.
What about you, Miss Tina?
What about me?
I don't know.
Give me something like, um, how did you find out about this place?
Oh, um, well, we found this blog about cool hidden places, um, great hiking
trails. Um, so we decided to try it for ourselves, and here we are.
Wait a second. We're hiking out in the boondocks following some shady hand
-drawn map from the internet?
Not shady.
It had plenty of reviews.
It had, like, Four and a half out of five stars. Yeah, but how do you know
reviewers are legit and not like some kind of serial killer lurking out here
waiting for them? Well, you're the one who insisted on coming, so shut up. You
know what? I'm going to need you to take that bitchiness level from like an
eight down to like a three and a half. You know what? I'm going to need you to
take your stupidity level down from maybe a ten to a nine. I'll even accept
.5, 9 .75. Let's keep moving. Come on.
See, aren't you glad I forced you to come?
Yes, I'm glad you forced me to come. Alex!
Wow, what a wicked tree.
Somebody's been having fun out here.
How gross.
Maybe not.
How much farther to this spot?
Just up here, I think.
Len, my dad said that we could use the country club for whenever we decide to
get married, so what do you think?
Maybe a while before we have to worry about that.
Why don't you ever want to talk about it?
You should be happy.
Most guys don't want to talk about it. Yeah, well, I'm not most guys.
And besides, we have talked about this.
I mean, the altar is not a finish line in a race. What is the rush?
So what are you saying, that you don't want to marry me? No.
I mean, no, that's not what I'm saying.
Look, all I'm saying is, if we get married, I want it to be for the right
reason, and not because our parents and our entire small town expects it of
their homecoming king and queen.
You know what I mean?
Okay, let's do an action shot.
Sit on the tree and just do something goofy.
That is definitely going on my wall.
Okay,
now I want you to look away from the camera and then turn your head and let
hair whip around your face.
That's cheesy.
Come on, last one.
And don't forget to smile naturally.
Damn girl, Z.
Bella. Hey, that is nice.
Did you hear that?
Hey guys, where's the little creep?
Alex, you out there?
He's probably off filming some imaginary little boy again.
What little boy?
I saw him talking to himself at the parking lot earlier, and he said he was
talking to some little boy and filming him.
Like I said, C -R -E -E -P.
Hey, Alex, stop playing and get the hell out here. Yeah, we gotta get going.
And we will leave you behind.
Hold on. I'll check it out.
I'll kill you!
Ow! Ow!
Oh, God.
What the hell's the matter with you? You little creep, I'm gonna kill you!
Damn, Chica. I was just kidding. Where'd you learn to throw a haymaker like
that?
I hope you didn't break my LCD screen.
You look so pouty.
I'm just gonna punch you in the face like this.
Oh, my gosh.
Are you okay?
Is this good?
No? Okay, back up.
All right, perfect.
Perfect. Stay.
Ew, your hands are all sticky. Get it, get away.
Sorry. All right, starts now.
Ten seconds.
Okay, settle down.
This way. Move that way a little bit. We gotta get in the sun.
Stop! Okay, good.
Hold three.
Great creep, you ruined it again. I didn't ruin anything.
Okay, one more. Okay, you know what? One more.
Okay. Why?
Guys, enough.
Okay, here we go. Michael, one more. That's it. I don't care whose eyes are
closed. Your mouth is open. Oh, man, you are sticky.
I've been hiking all day. Come down. All right. Come on.
Here we go. Start again.
Let's go.
All right.
Nobody move.
Smile.
Okay. All right. Awesome. Come on, guys. Let's head back before the sun goes
down. Okay.
I'm beat.
I can totally drive if you want me to, buddy.
Okay, you drive.
All right.
Ben Roethlisberger me.
Oh, hi, Michael.
Hey, we didn't park here, did we?
Of course we did.
No, I mean, we didn't park here. I swear we parked over there. I think you're
right.
I'm sure we parked here. The car didn't just move by itself.
Come on, let's just hit the road.
The lady.
Okay, okay, here. Turn right on this road.
Are you sure this is the right way?
This doesn't really look familiar.
Everything looks so different at night.
Should we be on the highway by now?
What the hell?
Where are we?
Oh, my God.
What?
Dude.
Alex, you can't go any further, dude. I know. I'm going to pull a three -point
circle.
How did you get us here?
What turn did you make?
Wow.
You're the one that let him drive.
I was tired.
Look at me like that.
Oh.
What's going on?
Wait.
I told you we should stop for gas.
I didn't know he was going to get us lost. This is not my fault.
Alex, is it in park?
Yes. Michael, I know how to drive a car in park.
I don't know.
It's not turning over.
It's not turning over? No, I can't even turn it on.
And it's out of gas?
I really don't know.
Oh, crap.
Why did you let him drive? He's perfectly capable of driving.
Thought he was, at least.
No, obviously not.
Well, you can drive then.
I will, next time.
Is it working?
No.
No service?
Not a...
We didn't hit anything. I didn't see... Look,
it's not my fault. I was just driving and the car shut off.
Alex, shut up for a second, okay?
Well, what do we do now?
Should we try to walk and find help?
Walk where? We don't even know where we're at.
So's right. It's too dark to go anywhere tonight.
We'll just stay in the car or we'll leave in the morning. But I need to
my non -commutative ring theory paper.
Relax. It's just one night.
Your quantum groups and vector spaces will still be there waiting all cozy for
you tomorrow. I agree with Lindsay. I hate it when people tell me to relax.
How can I relax? It's due in two days.
I shouldn't have let you talk me into coming.
Crap. I can't believe I'm going to miss posting on my video blog. I haven't
missed a day in like four years.
I seriously doubt anyone will notice.
I have a serious commitment to my followers, okay?
Get a grip, Tanita.
Both of you.
It's cold. Let's get back in the car.
You stay back there. You're being punished.
I'm breaking my car.
Move your foot, idiot.
I wish I had a beer. Make this night go by a lot faster.
Well... I have something a little bit more stronger than beer.
Yeah, I know. I'm cool like that.
I wouldn't go that far.
Holding out on us, you son of a bitch.
Well?
What is this? I'd tell you, but I'd have to kill you. But it does rhyme with
disky.
That is not just whiskey. Yeah, it is.
Stole it from my uncle.
Yeah, I was house -sitting his cats last week.
Is this makeup for me scaring the bejesus out of you guys, or what?
A little. A very little.
That's some funny shite.
You know what was so funny?
When I knocked you out.
Whatever. I've been hit harder in the face by, like, four -year -olds before,
so... Yeah, right. Please.
Come on, teeny weeny.
Just a little taint. Yeah, come on, Tina.
Tina. Tina.
Tina. Tina.
Tina. Tina. Tina. Tina. Tina. Tina. Tina.
Girl, ease up. Your girl looks anonymous.
Hey, guys.
Would it be strange if I adopted, like, a foreign exchange student slash little
brother? What?
Yeah, I was on this website the other day, and there's, like, all these kids
from these weird countries, like Thailand and stuff, and they need homes
here, I guess. Who's going to give you a kid?
Alex, I don't think you can just adopt a...
Foreign person.
You don't even have a job.
Yeah, I do.
What is your job? I do my web series and I design my website. Oh, my God. Did we
ever tell you about when we had to go shoot his webisode?
So we get there and he's like, here's your special robe.
Special as in special silk robe.
Yeah, I, yeah.
Sounds interesting.
So are we going to get to see?
Yeah, actually, it's already up on the internet, so you can see whenever you
want. Where?
On a lot of websites, actually.
Like what? Like ratemytotties .com or The Rack Report.
Alex, you better take that off.
Yeah? Or what?
Oh, no!
Hey,
guys. I think I drank too much. My head is spinning already.
Am I red? How red am I?
Oh, my God. You're really red, actually.
get drunk off of eating chicken marsala remember how much fun we had last year
when we went camping disaster didn't we forget toilet paper or something yeah
that's right because we got poison ivy thanks to this guy how come everything's
always my fault oh my god you were in charge of like one thing oh my god
so difficult to deal with sometimes um i have an idea truth or dare hey sella
i take truth for you fourth of july you out
All right, fine.
Let's just say too much alcohol consumption contributed to the biggest
of my life.
And it involved Alex.
I call it the tip game.
Oh!
Oh, my God!
And you're still in love.
Oh!
Well, there's been a little bit of consuming of alcohol this evening, where
there'll be a little rerun later.
I'd rather wipe my ass with poison ivy for the rest of my life to take it back.
Whatever, it was the best night of your life.
Yeah, you wish.
Okay, I hate to cut this conversation short, but I have to go pee. Do you want
me to go with you?
I can come too.
I must confess, I have to drop a chocolate tornado.
So, privacy please.
To TMI.
You are funny when you're drunk. Don't encourage her.
A little Asian Doogie Howser.
Great. No hand sanitizer.
I'm taking a dump in the woods.
Is someone out there?
Someone there?
Hello?
Hello?
Maycella, is that you?
Nutella?
Wait, you didn't mean to be back by now?
Probably having a hard time pinching off that loaf.
Oh, my God.
I think we should go see what's up.
I'll come with you.
Oh, no. I am not going to be accused of being on sugar risk.
I'll go.
Well, let's all go then.
Wait, really? Do we have to?
No, you can stay here all muggled up and comfy by yourself.
Michael, will you let me out?
Let me out.
Tina Chinita, where you at, girl?
Tina, throw your pants up already.
Tina, where are you?
Stop playing.
I'm serious, no more alcohol for you tonight.
Hey, do you hear that?
No.
I heard someone laughing.
She's probably playing a trick on us to get back at me for scaring her earlier.
No, she's not like that.
Well, what do we do now?
Maybe we should split up. No, no, no, no, no.
Let's not split up. That's never a good idea.
He's right. We don't even know where we're going. We could get ourselves
Maybe she's back at the car by now wondering where we're at.
No? Great kid not here. We have to go back out and find her. I don't think
would be wise.
I should have freaking gone with her. What was I thinking?
Listen, we need to all just calm down, okay? Let's think logically.
She's nowhere within reason, so basically we've got two options. We can
go back out in the dark with those crappy little lights, possibly get
lost or hurt, or we stay in the car and play the waiting game and hope she comes
back. And if not, then we'll go all look for her at first light.
Guys, but what if she's hurt?
Would you just sit in the car if Lindsay was out there?
I don't know. Maybe you're right. Look, guys, let's be rational, okay? We're
safe here. If we go back out into the dark, it's a bad idea.
You know what? I'm tired of you and your stupid mouth.
We wouldn't even be here if you hadn't gotten us lost. If I hadn't gotten us
lost? Tina was the one that was reading the map. We should have noticed we were
running out of gas. And Michael was driving the car most of the time. Okay,
don't be pointing your fingers at Michael, okay? He didn't get us lost.
Look at Stella.
We love Tina just as much as you, but Michael is right. If we go out there
we'll be putting ourselves at risk and still won't be helping Tina.
And if I was out there, I wouldn't want Michael to risk his own safety either.
Look, I'm sorry, Gisela.
How about we just set our alarms and we'll go first thing in the morning,
All right, fine, but I want us out there at the crack of dawn.
Absolutely.
Hey. Alex.
Lindsay.
Hey, wake up.
Lindsay.
Hey, wake up.
Where's Michael?
I don't know.
I just woke up freezing my ass off and found the doors wide open.
He's pranking us?
What's wrong with him? Don't be an idiot. He wouldn't do that.
Maybe he went to find Tina.
Got a head start.
You know, everything out here looks kind of the same. I'm sure they're probably
just lost themselves trying to find their way back to the car.
It's just so stupid. I don't understand why he wouldn't just wait for us.
I love him, but sometimes, oh, he just drives me crazy.
Yeah, and now we're looking for two people.
Rule number one about outdoor survival, you never wander off into the woods by
yourself if you don't have to. I mean, read a book.
This is... Oh, my God, that's Michael's.
Oh, man.
Is this blood?
Oh, God, there's more that fell down that way.
I don't think there's any more blood over here.
What the hell?
What is going on?
She probably just hit her head on the rock and hit the tree.
What about Michael's shoe over there in that blood?
I don't know.
Okay, guys, I'm freaking out right now. What are we supposed to do?
Look, look.
Michael probably just found Tina and took her back to the car.
And we've got to go back and see if they're there. And if they're not, then
just grab flashlights and we just keep looking until we find them.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's where we've been walking in circles.
God, what the hell happened here?
It's a disaster.
There's nothing in here. Come on, let's keep moving.
Come
on.
This isn't really that idea.
Come on.
Are those hand prints?
Fragile.
God, this is one forsaken place.
Smells moldy.
What do you think's in there Alex open it
See anything?
Hello?
Come on, let's keep looking.
Looks like an old furnace.
No, no, no.
Don't.
It's
just a
doll.
Hey, let's check this out.
Oh my god.
These kids are in chains.
March 20th, 1957.
The hunt is on for three hikers, early 20s.
Ten -year -old Johnny Williams, missing 13 days, presumed dead.
Five bodies found mutilated.
All children? Oh, my God.
Let me see that.
The lone eight -year -old survivor tells of abduction.
Gaines turned into torture.
Survivors said Johnny protected us from them. They won't hurt us anymore.
Officers continue combing the woods for suspects.
Let me get a shot of that.
Come on, let's get back out there.
Oh, shit.
What is it? Oh, my God.
What's wrong?
I have seen this kid before.
You're freaking me out right now. No. What do you mean you've seen that kid
before? That's not possible. That article's from 1957. Listen, the picture
the Johnny Williams kid is the same kid that I met at the bulletin board at the
beginning of the trip.
Look, Lindsay, when you asked me who I was talking to, it was this boy.
There was no boy. I saw you talking to yourself, remember? Yes, there was.
Listen, I know I sound crazy right now, I know, but you've got to believe me.
I've seen this kid before.
I'm not teasing you guys. Listen.
Look, I've got footage of him.
On my camera, I taped him earlier.
I died.
Perfect. Well, hey, I'd love to play with you, but I'm not a camp counselor,
I've got to get back to my friend.
No.
Oh, come on. Did you guys see that glitch right there?
He's right there, I swear to God, guys.
Look, maybe that kid just looked like the Johnny kid and he was hiking with
family and then ran off back to the group.
Yeah, I don't know. Maybe you're right.
It's creepy down here.
Let's go back to the car. No, the best thing to do is keep going and find help.
Yeah. No, I'm going back.
All right, but if they're not there, we keep moving.
Go.
It's late.
We can't just sit here like ducks waiting to see who disappears next.
We need to find civilization.
But we can't leave. How about Michael or Tina? This is the only place that they
know to come back to.
Giselle is right.
I think we'd be stupid to spend another night out here. We need to go find
someone to help.
No, okay? I can't leave without Michael.
Lindsay, maybe we should accept the fact that if they're not here already, maybe
they're not coming back at all.
Look, I'll try and find the main road and come back with help.
No, we're not splitting up, okay? Safety in numbers, you know that.
We have no choice.
I can run faster by myself.
Listen, I know you think you're this tough Chicana type, all right? But for
to go out there by yourself is crazy, okay? You don't know who or what's out
there. We have no time.
If we all go, we risk getting stranded halfway with no shelter in the dark.
Okay, but at least we'd be together, right? A lot of good that is done for
What's happened every time someone else has wandered off by themselves, all
right? I'd like for us all to go, but Lindsay's obviously incessant about
staying here for Michael. You stay with Lindsay. Wait for me to come back. I'm
going to get help.
I'm sorry for being a jackass.
Michael doesn't think I want to marry him.
But I do. I know that now.
I love him so much.
He'll probably come stumbling back in a few hours.
And by then, his fellow will have found help.
We'll be home soon.
Maybe we should grab some stuff to protect ourselves, just in case.
Yeah, that's probably not a bad idea.
Next time I come out into the woods, I'm going to pack like an NRA member on the
first day of hunting season.
Yeah, right.
Hey, what about this?
Nice.
That'll scare them into submission.
Hey, you out there.
Give us our friends back and we won't beat you to death with this very soft
deadly yoga mat.
Oh, hey, here we go.
All right.
Weapon of choice?
I guess I'll take the monopod.
Probably should have guessed that one.
I never in a million years would have thought we'd be rummaging through
Michael's trunk looking for weapons of defense.
But we are.
Hey, it's cold out here. Let's get back in the car.
I read a news article once about kidnappers who were taking people out of
woods and harvesting their organs to sell on the black market.
Alex, your spam mail isn't news.
I mean, what if we are in the middle of some inbred country where people have
been mutating over generations of sharing DNA and now they're lurking out
woods hunting innocent people for food?
You watch too many movies.
You're probably right.
Isola was right.
We kept looking for Tina last night. No, there's no way we would have known that
they weren't going to come back. But still.
What?
Look, um, I don't want to freak you out or anything, but I just remembered
something kind of weird.
What? Okay, you remember that picture of that Johnny Williams kid that we saw in
that newspaper article when we were in the basement?
Yeah. Well, you remember how I told you that he looked like the spitting image
of that kid that I met back at the bulletin board?
What was the weirdest thing, Lindsay? Because that kid came out of nowhere,
he just started talking about wanting to play a game with me.
And he gave me this, like, weird toy soldier and said it was supposed to keep
safe, but if I lost it, I would die, that we would all die. And look what is
happening to us right now.
Are you saying that there is a kid haunting the woods and snatching people?
don't know, but look at how weird the situation is, okay? Tina, who is the
detailed -oriented person that we know in the world, gets us lost from reading
the map incorrectly, and then Michael's karma seriously dies, and then all this
stuff starts happening.
And then Tina goes missing.
Yeah. And Michael... Do you still have it?
What? The toy?
Um... Yeah, maybe.
You didn't just toss it away, did you? I don't remember, Lindsay.
What's this? Oh, it's nothing.
Here.
Thank God.
Stella?
Is that you?
I'll lock the doors.
What's going on out there?
Over here.
I can't see anything.
Try the side mirror.
I can't see anything.
is going on!
Nothing's happening.
What the hell just happened?
Oh, my God. I don't want to die.
Turn the headlights on. No.
No way. We need to see what the hell's out there. Lindsay, maybe we shouldn't
see what's out there. Alex, get a grip. Lindsay, maybe we shouldn't see what's
outside of this car right now. Alex, just do it.
I don't know
No. No.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Hey, Johnny boy.
Why don't you show yourself, huh?
Alex, what are you doing? Get back in the car.
Oh, what? You don't want to play now, huh? Come on, you stupid little punk ass
whatever you are.
I don't care if you're a little kid. I will freaking beat your ass.
Alex, please. We have to stay calm to survive, okay?
Survive?
You really think that we're going to survive, Lindsay?
I don't know!
What we just saw happened to Heath. She was the toughest one out of all of us,
and we just saw her get thrashed like a freaking ragdoll right in front of us! I
know that! I was there, okay?
I don't know what else to do!
I'm sorry.
Okay, I shouldn't have exploded like that.
We need to get out of here and save ourselves. We need to leave right now.
you understand me? Why yes.
Come on.
Let's go.
Come on.
It's so
dark out here. I
can't see a thing.
Let me try the night vision on my camera. See if that helps.
I don't like this at all.
Oh my God, did you see that? No, I didn't see anything. See what? See what?
thought I saw something.
I'm going to find that log.
I'm sorry.
I thought I saw something.
Did you see that? He was right there in front of me. No, I just started running
the minute I heard you scream. Oh, my God.
Okay, we just need to make it until sunrise, and then we run the hell out of
here until we're safe.
Let's get in the backseat. I feel safer back here.
Let's turn back to back so we can see on all sides.
Is this the technique you learned from a movie?
Yeah.
But it works, right?
Yeah.
You know, I always looked up to Michael so much.
You know, you actually remind me of Michael a little bit.
You both know what you want, and you go for it, and you don't look back.
You know, he was going to tell his dad that he didn't want the family business.
And he always said,
That as long as he had me with him, he could do anything.
And I think I resented him for knowing what he wanted out of life because
I didn't have a clue.
And now...
God forsaken, hello, and... No, don't say that. We're going to make it out of
here, okay?
How will I ever tell him how much I love him?
He moves.
Because as soon as the sun comes up, we make our own fault, okay?
get some rest.
I can stay up, take the first shift.
Keep a watch out, okay?
Michael.
Jane.
Please.
Michael.
Michael.
Michael?
Michael?
Michael? Are you okay?
I can't believe I fell asleep.
Lindsay.
Oh no.
Lindsay!
Lindsay!
Lindsay!
Lindsay! Lindsay!
Lindsay!
Which way did you go?
Lindsay!
I can't see anything.
Lindsay!
Is that you?
Lindsay! Lindsay!
What was that?
I never really thought that I believed in hell before, until now.
This is my second night living in this horrific nightmare.
All I wanted to do was come out here and film a day trip with my friends, cut a
movie, put it up on the internet, and hope for a gazillion hits, you know?
Be discovered.
It said four friends vanished.
One of them attacked by some invisible force right in front of me before being
yanked away.
The nightmare started not very far from here when a little boy approached me and
asked me if I wanted to play a game.
I've never talked to that little boy and none of this would have ever happened.
So this little boy approached me and
asked if I wanted to play a game.
He gave me this.
toy soldier and said it was supposed to keep us safe.
And that's when we came across this abandoned building.
And that's when we found out that the kid from the beginning of the trip, that
Johnny Williams kid, has actually been dead for decades. And it seems as if
haunting these woods now. I don't know if he knows he's dead, but all I know is
that he keeps picking us off one by one.
And now I'm the only one left.
Sometimes I think that maybe... Lindsay!
Lindsay!
Lindsay!
Lindsay! Oh no.
This is not happening.
This is not real. This is not happening.
This is my imagination.
Lindsay!
You can do this.
You just need to see if she's out there. And if she is, you're going to go help
her, okay?
Oh, God.
No, no, no, no, no, no,
no,
no, no.
No.
Over here.
What do you want from me?
What do you want from me?
I want to finish our game.
No! No!
No! No! No!
Hey, Frank, there's something I've been meaning to tell you. I haven't told
anybody else, but I wanted you to be the first to know.
Uh, it's, uh, okay, man. Uh, I know.
What? Who told you? I suspected.
You're not mad at me?
We've been friends since grade school. How can I be mad at you?
Wow.
I really didn't think you'd take it that well.
You're watching Oprah.
You're making those frou -frou salads with the French ingredients.
Married a battleaxe of a wife who's got more testosterone coursing through her
veins. She might as well be a man.
What the hell are you talking about? Look, you don't have to hide it. It's
I'm retiring. You're okay.
I'm not retiring.
Damn, I knew I should have had the chief tell you. Hey, man, you can't retire.
We're selling the house and moving to Florida.
Why would you do that?
To get away from you.
I'm joking about that.
That's why.
Right there. What?
You're afraid of a car?
No. No, I'm sick and tired of driving around the backwoods every night filling
out abandoned vehicle reports.
The job just doesn't excite me anymore, okay? I'm done.
Monday, I'm putting in my two -week notice. You know what?
I don't want to talk about this right now.
Fine.
There's nothing to talk about.
Now, come on. Let's just do our job.
Let's do this, baby.
Do you have to keep saying that?
What the hell happened here? Urban legend, huh?
It's the same stretch of road, second car this week. That makes us six this
month. Yeah, but this is weird, man.
Hey, do you really need that thing? Don't worry about it.
Hey, don't play with toys and get back to work.
There are plenty of times to play with toys when you get to Florida.
This could be evidence.
Yeah? We've got some real evidence for you.
Got a camera in the seat.
All I wanted to do was, um... What the hell is he saying? Come out here and go
on a day trip with my friend.
Stop right there.
Holy mother of all crap. What the hell was that?
This is way above our pay grade. You got to call this in. Hey, hey.
You said this job wasn't exciting enough, huh? Is this exciting enough for
now, huh? It's not my kind of excitement, okay? Yeah. Well, can you
this? What if this proves that the urban legend is real?
And we're the ones who discovered it.
Yeah, we are going to be famous.
I don't want to be famous. I just want to get the hell out of here. Okay, fine.
As long as we agree right now, my name goes first on all the write -ups, huh?
They're going to pick a movie about us, man. We are going to be rich!
Yeah, whatever.
I want to pray again.
Thank you.
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