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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,019
Mm -mm, time for some Monday schlong
madness.
2
00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:09,880
Finally taking an afternoon to fuck this
toy I got from Hanky's Toys.
3
00:00:13,500 --> 00:00:16,600
The meat tube, the sausage man.
4
00:00:17,020 --> 00:00:21,480
I think it's actually called the Long
John if I'm getting the model correct,
5
00:00:21,780 --> 00:00:22,780
modeling correct.
6
00:00:23,060 --> 00:00:28,440
I think this is the Long John from
Hanky's Toys. Comes in one size.
7
00:00:31,110 --> 00:00:37,170
big Yeah It's just like a big fucking
meat tube
8
00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:44,070
Cock situation it's like There's the
9
00:00:44,070 --> 00:00:49,850
The size up for you This
10
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:55,690
is what we're working with today
11
00:00:55,690 --> 00:01:02,500
I'm not even sure how long the
insertable length is on this from like
12
00:01:02,500 --> 00:01:03,500
balls to the tip.
13
00:01:03,820 --> 00:01:08,720
We're gonna have to pull up the
measuring tape to take some measurements
14
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:09,720
do you think?
15
00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:14,480
Yeah, it has this kind of weird curve,
like you can see that.
16
00:01:15,540 --> 00:01:20,280
So I'm not sure which way I should ride
it. I'll probably try both just to see
17
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:21,820
which way is more stable.
18
00:01:22,980 --> 00:01:25,860
And we're gonna see how much of this I'm
able to take.
19
00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:27,800
I don't know.
20
00:01:28,320 --> 00:01:31,080
I don't know if I'm able to help this to
the balls. We'll have to measure it and
21
00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:32,280
see if the numbers add up.
22
00:01:33,100 --> 00:01:35,760
It's not particularly thick, so maybe.
23
00:01:36,460 --> 00:01:39,640
But yeah, it came out pretty soft.
24
00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:45,740
So I'm hoping that it doesn't like bend
under me while I'm trying to ride it.
25
00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:51,220
And hopefully they will try to fuck it.
We'll see.
26
00:01:52,740 --> 00:01:55,140
I feel like even though I got that
fucking finger.
27
00:01:55,620 --> 00:02:01,400
dildo, the Midas touch, I feel like this
is more cursed, like, it's just, it's
28
00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:04,840
really, like, straddling the uncanny
valley, because it's, like, supposed to
29
00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:09,680
realistic, but it's not very realistic,
like, it's, like, very, very veiny in
30
00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:14,480
texture, it's kind of like an alien
cock, but, like, in the flesh tone with,
31
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:18,700
like, the human aesthetic, I don't know,
it's very creepy, like, look at the
32
00:02:18,700 --> 00:02:23,740
fucking balls, looks like a brain or
something, yeah, anyway.
33
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:28,280
I'm gonna get my ass down there, we'll
get a nice seated size of this thing up
34
00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:32,880
against me, and then we'll see how much
of it I'm able to take and how long I'm
35
00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:33,880
able to fuck it.
36
00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:36,960
Alright.
37
00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:40,720
Look at this fucking size up, oh my god.
38
00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:44,740
That's such a fucking tube steak of a
cock, Jesus Christ.
39
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:53,500
Um, upon strapping this thing up, Um, I
am feeling like this isn't going to go
40
00:02:53,500 --> 00:03:00,420
very well because that's
41
00:03:00,420 --> 00:03:07,060
the curve on the shaft plus the fucking
softness of the silicone. Like it just,
42
00:03:07,140 --> 00:03:13,780
it has zero to 10 stability, I would
say. Um, so I
43
00:03:13,780 --> 00:03:18,580
feel like this is going to really be a
real pain in the ass.
44
00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:19,880
to use.
45
00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:25,440
So I'm at least going to try to take it
as deep as I can.
46
00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:30,540
I hope I should be able to at least like
sit on it and get it in.
47
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:37,000
I just feel like if I try to fuck it,
like it's just going to be like folding
48
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:43,740
me and shit. So I don't really think
that's going to go well. I'm not feeling
49
00:03:43,740 --> 00:03:45,640
particularly optimistic about that.
50
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:50,100
We'll see. Anyway, um, ah, my measuring
tape's over there. Let me go get it.
51
00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:58,000
Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
Okay, let's see. So, I got the ring on
52
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:03,020
here, so let's see how much length we're
working with.
53
00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:08,080
From the tip here to that ring.
54
00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:10,520
There we go.
55
00:04:11,820 --> 00:04:13,480
What is that? I can't see.
56
00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:18,079
Looks like 13 inches to the ring. Is
that correct?
57
00:04:18,820 --> 00:04:21,100
13? Okay, that's not so bad.
58
00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:26,200
I feel pretty confident that I should be
able to help this thing.
59
00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:34,480
As long as the fucking curve in the
shaft doesn't fight me too, too hard.
60
00:04:35,260 --> 00:04:36,280
Yeah, we'll see.
61
00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:42,580
Anyway, I just size up and let's just
get this thing in me. See how this goes.
62
00:04:44,460 --> 00:04:47,960
Okay, there. You can see how droopy it
is.
63
00:04:48,220 --> 00:04:53,280
It's just leaning towards the camera,
completely folded over. What the fuck?
64
00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:55,140
Like, why?
65
00:04:56,100 --> 00:04:57,100
Boy.
66
00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:04,700
I didn't warm up with anything, and I
feel like that might have been a bad
67
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:10,240
because I don't think this thing is
gonna be able to...
68
00:05:11,130 --> 00:05:17,850
withstand very much resistance from my
pussy without fucking bending like you
69
00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:24,650
can see it's already kind of it's pretty
bending you see that fuck me oh
70
00:05:24,650 --> 00:05:31,630
my god i gotta get this thing past my
cervix dad oh my god this is
71
00:05:31,630 --> 00:05:37,330
so annoying already oh okay there's my
cervix right there
72
00:05:38,990 --> 00:05:41,070
I just want to push it past. This should
be no problem.
73
00:05:41,450 --> 00:05:45,650
See, it didn't warm up because it's not,
like, a very thick toy, but... Oh,
74
00:05:45,690 --> 00:05:46,690
there it is. Okay.
75
00:05:46,990 --> 00:05:51,010
It's got a rounded head since it's
realistic, so it should slip past my
76
00:05:51,010 --> 00:05:52,010
pretty easily.
77
00:05:52,550 --> 00:05:53,730
I'm just going to push it here.
78
00:05:54,150 --> 00:05:55,150
Okay.
79
00:05:55,550 --> 00:06:00,130
Oh, that's kind of tender, but... It's
kind of tender, but I can't fuck with
80
00:06:00,130 --> 00:06:06,090
this thing, like... I'm laughing, and
it's making it bend, like...
81
00:06:08,430 --> 00:06:13,170
you see that oh my god okay well that
went past my cervix really easily
82
00:06:13,170 --> 00:06:18,830
i'm just chilling here though because i
went for it really fast my body's like
83
00:06:18,830 --> 00:06:24,890
tf lily oh fuck okay okay
84
00:06:24,890 --> 00:06:29,230
now we're not getting as much folding
because there's less
85
00:06:37,710 --> 00:06:44,050
of folding and also like the balls are
like doing they're coming up i don't
86
00:06:44,050 --> 00:06:47,950
if you can see that on the camera yeah
there you can probably see it they're
87
00:06:47,950 --> 00:06:52,390
coming up on them that's really annoying
oh okay
88
00:06:52,390 --> 00:06:59,130
oh did you see that it's like so
89
00:06:59,130 --> 00:07:01,530
unstable
90
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:10,940
I just want to get that depop so I can
just have it locked in me and be done
91
00:07:10,940 --> 00:07:11,579
with it.
92
00:07:11,580 --> 00:07:16,660
I can't fuck this thing.
93
00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:18,120
Okay,
94
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:20,260
there. I can kind of fuck it like this,
I guess.
95
00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:23,920
It'll just randomly bend.
96
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:27,280
Like that.
97
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:29,960
It's just gone. Okay, great.
98
00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:32,040
Great, good.
99
00:07:34,700 --> 00:07:38,620
restrap it up, I guess, and try again
without bouncing on it as much.
100
00:07:39,340 --> 00:07:40,340
Fuck.
101
00:07:40,900 --> 00:07:41,900
Unbelievable.
102
00:07:42,340 --> 00:07:44,780
Well, this is very quickly proving me
right.
103
00:07:44,980 --> 00:07:48,960
Um, and it's definitely proving to be
probably the most annoying new toy
104
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:50,620
experience I've had in a very long time.
105
00:07:51,260 --> 00:07:52,260
Um, yeah.
106
00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:56,760
This is, like, extra large Serafina, but
even more.
107
00:07:57,200 --> 00:08:01,300
Because this one doesn't have the excuse
of being, like, so fucking as fucking
108
00:08:01,300 --> 00:08:03,020
huge as extra large Serafina either.
109
00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:04,240
Um, anyway.
110
00:08:04,910 --> 00:08:10,890
try this again i'm not gonna like try
bouncing on it i'm just gonna try
111
00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:17,430
it i'm just gonna try fuck fuck fuck
fuck oh try pushing down on it and
112
00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:24,150
hopefully that fucking curve in the
shaft doesn't fight me at the
113
00:08:24,150 --> 00:08:29,730
bottom as much as it's been fighting me
okay let's push that head past my cervix
114
00:08:29,730 --> 00:08:30,730
again here
115
00:08:36,079 --> 00:08:37,079
Oh.
116
00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:39,700
Oh, man.
117
00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:43,179
That's a little bit crampy. My body's a
little tight because I'm annoyed. I can
118
00:08:43,179 --> 00:08:44,179
feel it.
119
00:08:45,060 --> 00:08:45,879
Don't laugh.
120
00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:49,460
If I laugh, I'm going to fucking
contract my insides and push it out
121
00:08:50,140 --> 00:08:51,140
Okay.
122
00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:56,800
Just breathe here. I need the
consolation prize of being able to help
123
00:08:56,800 --> 00:09:00,760
the only thing that's going to make me
not completely lose my fucking mind
124
00:09:01,460 --> 00:09:02,460
Oh, my God.
125
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,000
Slowly.
126
00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:09,360
Slowly.
127
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:11,200
Okay, okay.
128
00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:13,880
So I'm trying to get that paw.
129
00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:16,600
I can feel that curve is fighting me.
130
00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:18,460
I think I'm going to have to, like,
hold.
131
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:20,900
Hold the ball and play it here.
132
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:24,700
So it doesn't run away from me. I'm just
going to push here.
133
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:29,480
Push it in. Can I take it? Oh, I think
it's going to go.
134
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:33,940
Yeah. Oh, my God. Fuck.
135
00:09:46,380 --> 00:09:50,260
The fucking curve, the way it curves,
like, towards the camera, I can feel it
136
00:09:50,260 --> 00:09:53,940
just, like, my insides are like, what
the fuck is this?
137
00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:56,820
Oh, shit.
138
00:09:57,720 --> 00:09:59,540
There we go, fuck.
139
00:10:00,660 --> 00:10:01,660
Oh, my God.
140
00:10:04,460 --> 00:10:09,940
It just popped out. Oh, fuck.
141
00:10:10,260 --> 00:10:13,240
I gotta push it back in here. Let's hold
down the balls again.
142
00:10:19,310 --> 00:10:21,810
The curve is fighting me even here with
that final pop.
143
00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:26,390
It's in, but it doesn't feel like
securely locked in.
144
00:10:27,810 --> 00:10:30,530
Like when I put all my weight on it.
145
00:12:22,250 --> 00:12:23,290
my insides
146
00:12:23,290 --> 00:12:29,810
that was
147
00:12:29,810 --> 00:12:36,170
a pretty good orgasm though I can't lie
very intense
148
00:12:36,170 --> 00:12:43,090
and very long I feel like every time I'm
coming from
149
00:12:43,090 --> 00:12:48,510
the depth penetration alone I think I've
already described this but like the
150
00:12:48,510 --> 00:12:49,730
orgasm is just like
151
00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:57,660
it rides like the peak for so long right
before kind of like and then
152
00:12:57,660 --> 00:13:04,560
like it feels like I'm like like time
153
00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:10,480
freezes in orgasm and I'm just like I'm
like glitched out in the orgasm just
154
00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:17,240
like oh my god I'm really happy that
155
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:20,540
happened though and I'm happy it didn't
fucking fly out of me again
156
00:13:21,330 --> 00:13:22,330
Wow.
157
00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:28,850
Okay. Um, I'm just going to like take a
break first and then turn around just to
158
00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:33,410
try squawk fucking it only to prove how
terrible it's going to go. Cause I know
159
00:13:33,410 --> 00:13:37,950
it's going to go terribly, but, uh,
well, yeah, just to prove it to you guys
160
00:13:37,950 --> 00:13:42,010
too. Cause I, I already know it's not
going to fucking work at all.
161
00:13:43,530 --> 00:13:45,750
You made me come, but I'm not happy with
you.
162
00:13:52,300 --> 00:13:59,280
you ready to see how annoyed i can be
let's see let's see just how annoyed
163
00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:05,600
i can be oh my god i can't even like let
go of it or it's just gonna fall oh
164
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:10,740
yeah look at that it's already like look
at that if
165
00:14:10,740 --> 00:14:16,740
i hold it maybe maybe it'll be doable if
i hold it
166
00:14:21,550 --> 00:14:22,550
If I don't hold it, look.
167
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:24,730
Yeah.
168
00:14:25,430 --> 00:14:26,450
That's what I'm dealing with.
169
00:14:27,170 --> 00:14:29,910
Let's hold it. I just need to push it,
keep it straight.
170
00:14:30,550 --> 00:14:33,230
I don't know why it's designed to be so
curved.
171
00:14:35,350 --> 00:14:37,730
Okay, I'm just going to push it past my
cervix here.
172
00:14:38,830 --> 00:14:41,210
Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh, there it goes.
Shit.
173
00:14:42,070 --> 00:14:43,070
Okay.
174
00:14:44,310 --> 00:14:46,650
Oh, don't laugh or I'm going to lose it
again.
175
00:14:47,130 --> 00:14:48,310
Okay, I felt the hold it.
176
00:14:48,950 --> 00:14:50,550
Now let's see if we can push it in.
177
00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:57,600
to get that pot it's not fighting me
this fucking curve is fighting me at the
178
00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:04,500
bottom here oh god it's so fighting
179
00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:11,300
me i can't even get it in oh there we go
oh my god it
180
00:15:11,300 --> 00:15:15,320
went in but like it did not stay in it
wouldn't stay it's just fighting me
181
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,000
that's so annoying
182
00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:25,420
so curved and why are you so floppy?
183
00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:28,640
I'm so mad and annoyed.
184
00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:30,040
I hate you.
185
00:15:32,820 --> 00:15:37,880
Well, that was definitely very
disappointing.
186
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:43,440
I'm happy that I was able to bottom out
on it. I'm happy that I got, like, a
187
00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:47,740
good orgasm. That was nice, but I'm
probably, like, never going to use this
188
00:15:47,740 --> 00:15:49,840
again because, yeah,
189
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,940
that didn't do anything that...
190
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:58,500
Any of my other long toys can too,
except actually be fuckable.
191
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,200
And they locked in me properly.
192
00:16:01,580 --> 00:16:02,580
Um, yeah.
193
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:08,280
Anyway. Very bummy. I think I'm just
gonna, like, reach for something else
194
00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:13,080
because I'm feeling, like, very annoyed
and very unsatisfied after this. So, uh,
195
00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:15,060
yeah. This video is definitely a flop.
196
00:16:15,740 --> 00:16:17,880
Flop! Floppy, just like you.
197
00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:20,680
Flop.
198
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:26,120
Anyway, thanks for watching my annoyance
and struggle.
15986
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