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1
00:00:01,568 --> 00:00:03,501
mama, papa,
come and see my show.
2
00:00:03,568 --> 00:00:05,100
we'll be in
in a minute, sweetie.
3
00:00:05,167 --> 00:00:07,534
mama, papa, come in
here and see my show now.
4
00:00:07,601 --> 00:00:09,434
it's a dancing show.
5
00:00:10,733 --> 00:00:12,534
okay,
time for the show, papa.
6
00:00:12,601 --> 00:00:14,234
no, thanks.
7
00:00:14,301 --> 00:00:16,067
i already saw three
of her shows today.
8
00:00:16,134 --> 00:00:18,501
they're generally
not good shows.
9
00:00:18,568 --> 00:00:21,967
mama, papa, come see
my show now.
10
00:00:22,034 --> 00:00:25,134
you know what works great,
lucy? saying "please."
11
00:00:27,067 --> 00:00:30,601
okay.
or that works too.
12
00:00:31,967 --> 00:00:35,100
- now, you both sit on the bed.
- okay.
13
00:00:37,534 --> 00:00:41,833
and now, announcing the
show of all the stars,
14
00:00:41,900 --> 00:00:44,000
and the show
of the dancing girl
15
00:00:44,067 --> 00:00:45,900
who will dance
a magical dance!
16
00:00:45,967 --> 00:00:48,067
- yeah!
- and the first dance is
17
00:00:48,134 --> 00:00:51,100
"puppy,
the pussycat."
18
00:00:51,167 --> 00:00:53,568
and are you
ready for the show?
19
00:00:55,067 --> 00:00:56,900
- yes, we are ready.
- yay.
20
00:00:56,967 --> 00:00:59,601
okay, and--
21
00:00:59,668 --> 00:01:02,334
are you ready
for the show?
22
00:01:02,401 --> 00:01:04,601
yay, we're ready, lucy.
please start.
23
00:01:04,668 --> 00:01:07,401
and so i start it.
24
00:01:30,534 --> 00:01:32,534
hey!
25
00:01:35,467 --> 00:01:38,434
- yeah!
- yeah!
26
00:02:42,234 --> 00:02:45,134
"lucky louie" was
taped before a live audience.
27
00:02:49,067 --> 00:02:50,800
closed. come back tomorrow.
28
00:02:50,867 --> 00:02:53,234
but it's not 5:00.
i still have 10 minutes.
29
00:02:53,301 --> 00:02:55,900
it's friday afternoon.
you don't have any minutes.
30
00:02:57,434 --> 00:02:59,700
oh, yeah?
how about i complain
31
00:02:59,767 --> 00:03:02,267
to the corporate
office?
32
00:03:02,334 --> 00:03:04,934
oh please, don't do that.
33
00:03:06,267 --> 00:03:08,301
i'll come back
tomorrow.
34
00:03:09,668 --> 00:03:12,000
- all right, man, so long.
- hey, where are you going?
35
00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,934
it's not 5:00.
you still have 10 minutes.
36
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,067
i got a big
weekend planned with kim.
37
00:03:16,134 --> 00:03:18,467
- oh.
- what's up, cheese buckets?
38
00:03:18,534 --> 00:03:21,634
hey. i gotta pick up lucy,
take her to her friends.
39
00:03:21,700 --> 00:03:23,833
kim and i have the house to
ourselves for the whole weekend.
40
00:03:23,900 --> 00:03:25,833
oh, yeah? what d'you guys have planned?
41
00:03:25,900 --> 00:03:29,668
what do you mean? sex-- clearly
we're planning to have sex.
42
00:03:29,733 --> 00:03:32,234
oh. well, it's been awhile, right?
43
00:03:32,301 --> 00:03:34,800
i mean, you're probably gonna be all...
44
00:03:34,867 --> 00:03:36,800
overexcited
and stuff like that.
45
00:03:36,867 --> 00:03:41,201
um, do you something to think
about so you don't pop so soon?
46
00:03:42,934 --> 00:03:45,034
why do you wanna hold
off? i always try to come
47
00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:47,568
as fast as possible then
get half my money back.
48
00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:54,034
see you later, bro.
49
00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:55,733
does that work?
50
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:59,634
wow, thanks a lot,
sis.
51
00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:02,301
this is
a lot of food.
52
00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:06,634
yeah, jerry, i need this
food to last you the weekend
53
00:04:06,700 --> 00:04:09,767
because louie and i wanna be
alone for a couple of days.
54
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:12,800
what? you wanna
be alone?
55
00:04:12,867 --> 00:04:14,501
why?
56
00:04:14,568 --> 00:04:17,267
because it's nice,
you know?
57
00:04:17,334 --> 00:04:18,934
it's romantic.
58
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,401
oh...
59
00:04:21,467 --> 00:04:23,867
but the whole
weekend?
60
00:04:23,934 --> 00:04:26,234
no, that seems
like a long time.
61
00:04:26,301 --> 00:04:30,700
jerry, just don't come over
for a couple of days, okay?
62
00:04:30,767 --> 00:04:32,900
- all right.
- okay.
63
00:04:32,967 --> 00:04:36,601
hey, which plate
is for which day?
64
00:04:36,668 --> 00:04:39,934
here, you'll
figure it out.
65
00:04:43,034 --> 00:04:45,234
so you excited about
the big weekend, huh?
66
00:04:45,301 --> 00:04:47,668
oh, yeah. just me and louie together?
67
00:04:47,733 --> 00:04:50,000
i mean, we hardly
ever get to do this.
68
00:04:51,501 --> 00:04:54,167
- wow,ou baked him a pie?
- yeah,
69
00:04:54,234 --> 00:04:56,967
- i like to start with a pie.
- oooh.
70
00:04:57,034 --> 00:04:58,800
you see, he's ready
to walk in the door,
71
00:04:58,867 --> 00:05:01,201
drop his pants and fuck me till monday,
72
00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:04,700
but the pie-- the
pie slows him down.
73
00:05:05,900 --> 00:05:08,367
and when he's done
eating the pie--
74
00:05:08,434 --> 00:05:10,634
- yes, the whole pie--
- hmm.
75
00:05:10,700 --> 00:05:14,767
he goes into a sugar coma
and then we start talking.
76
00:05:14,833 --> 00:05:17,934
does the poor bastard
ever get to drop his pants?
77
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:20,800
oh, yeah,
because when we talk,
78
00:05:20,867 --> 00:05:23,201
then we remember what
we liked about each other
79
00:05:23,267 --> 00:05:25,201
and we become
a couple again.
80
00:05:25,267 --> 00:05:28,467
and it's great. and then
everybody drops their pants.
81
00:05:28,534 --> 00:05:30,467
- ah...
- and then the next morning,
82
00:05:30,534 --> 00:05:32,434
i start all over again with bacon.
83
00:05:35,401 --> 00:05:37,034
i tried something
like that once.
84
00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:40,367
i put a cupcake on my snooch
and mike ate it.
85
00:05:45,201 --> 00:05:48,401
- oh, hey, tina.
- hey, louie!
86
00:05:48,467 --> 00:05:51,367
i guess i'd better run.
87
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:54,534
bye, sweetie.
see you later.
88
00:05:54,601 --> 00:05:56,568
yeah, okay.
bye, tina.
89
00:05:59,534 --> 00:06:00,967
- hi.
- hi.
90
00:06:01,034 --> 00:06:04,367
- oh, okay, all right,
all right.
91
00:06:04,434 --> 00:06:08,401
easy easy easy.
i want you to sit down...
92
00:06:08,467 --> 00:06:10,767
just one second.
93
00:06:10,833 --> 00:06:13,967
have a seat. i got something for you.
94
00:06:14,034 --> 00:06:16,000
oh, wait a minute, i
got something for you.
95
00:06:16,067 --> 00:06:18,067
come over here.
96
00:06:19,668 --> 00:06:21,601
ready?
97
00:06:21,668 --> 00:06:23,601
here you go.
98
00:06:25,334 --> 00:06:26,967
oh.
99
00:06:28,967 --> 00:06:30,767
okay.
100
00:06:37,833 --> 00:06:40,267
yeah.
101
00:06:42,668 --> 00:06:44,900
uh, is everything
all right?
102
00:06:44,967 --> 00:06:47,934
- yeah, fine.
- well, you want me...
103
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,534
to put these in some water or something?
104
00:06:50,601 --> 00:06:53,934
listen,
105
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:57,733
try not to take this
the wrong way, okay?
106
00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:00,967
but if we're gonna be
married for the next 30 years,
107
00:07:01,034 --> 00:07:03,501
i need you to know
that red roses
108
00:07:03,568 --> 00:07:05,434
are not my thing.
109
00:07:05,501 --> 00:07:09,401
it's just i really don't like red roses.
110
00:07:09,467 --> 00:07:11,467
okay?
111
00:07:12,634 --> 00:07:15,334
okay, yeah,
i get that.
112
00:07:15,401 --> 00:07:17,900
okay.
113
00:07:17,967 --> 00:07:20,067
okay, well,
um...
114
00:07:20,134 --> 00:07:22,534
can i critique how you
just told me that?
115
00:07:26,134 --> 00:07:28,501
ahem, okay, it's not that big of a deal,
116
00:07:28,568 --> 00:07:32,301
i just think that you shou have
thanked me for the flowers first,
117
00:07:32,367 --> 00:07:35,568
and then said the thing about the roses.
118
00:07:39,534 --> 00:07:43,267
- um... not really.
- why not?
119
00:07:43,334 --> 00:07:46,234
because i've
told you before
120
00:07:46,301 --> 00:07:49,000
that i don't like
red roses, remember?
121
00:07:49,067 --> 00:07:51,267
oh, yeah, i guess i
kind of remember that,
122
00:07:51,334 --> 00:07:53,668
but still
it's a gift
123
00:07:53,767 --> 00:07:55,967
so i guess i don't think
it matters what it is.
124
00:07:56,034 --> 00:07:57,967
you should still
thank me, right?
125
00:07:58,034 --> 00:08:01,401
yeah, but you see
i don't necessary think
126
00:08:01,467 --> 00:08:03,767
i should thank you
for giving me something
127
00:08:03,833 --> 00:08:05,767
that i've specifically
told you
128
00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:08,900
that i don't like.
that's all.
129
00:08:10,568 --> 00:08:12,568
okay, right.
130
00:08:14,733 --> 00:08:18,034
yeah, but still...
i was thinking of you
131
00:08:18,100 --> 00:08:20,034
so i bought you
flowers.
132
00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:22,034
you weren't
thinking of me.
133
00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:25,601
if you were thinking of me, you
wouldn't have gotten me red roses.
134
00:08:25,668 --> 00:08:28,301
oh come on, kim,
i brought you flowers,
135
00:08:28,367 --> 00:08:30,733
that's a nice thing.
you say thank you.
136
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:33,034
- what-- it's called
"being polite."
137
00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:35,201
you know what
would be polite?
138
00:08:35,267 --> 00:08:37,668
if, when i told you things,
you actually listened
139
00:08:37,733 --> 00:08:40,267
instead of just watching
my lips and waiting for them
140
00:08:40,334 --> 00:08:42,134
to stop moving
so you can talk.
141
00:08:44,668 --> 00:08:46,800
hang on, all i'm
asking for here
142
00:08:46,867 --> 00:08:48,800
is a tiny bit
of gratitude.
143
00:08:48,867 --> 00:08:50,668
- i said thank you.
- no, you didn't.
144
00:08:50,733 --> 00:08:53,434
- i was standing with the
flowers-- - i said thank you
145
00:08:53,501 --> 00:08:56,967
the first time you gave
me red roses, remember?
146
00:08:57,034 --> 00:09:00,034
it was my birthday.
i said thank you
147
00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:03,167
and then i said very politely
that i would prefer it
148
00:09:03,234 --> 00:09:07,034
in the future if you never
again gave me red roses.
149
00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:09,067
so either
you didn't listen
150
00:09:09,134 --> 00:09:11,100
or you don't care,
which is it?
151
00:09:17,067 --> 00:09:20,100
this is fucking
retarded!
152
00:09:20,167 --> 00:09:23,534
i bought you flowers! so maybe
they're not your favorite kind
153
00:09:23,601 --> 00:09:25,934
- of flowers-- - no, i
didn't say "not my favorite,"
154
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,800
i said, "don't bring me red roses."
155
00:09:28,867 --> 00:09:32,601
what is wrong with you? are you
allergic to saying thank you to people?
156
00:09:32,668 --> 00:09:34,568
how do you expect
someone to thank you
157
00:09:34,634 --> 00:09:37,334
for giving them something
they've specifically told you
158
00:09:37,401 --> 00:09:39,833
- they don't want?!
- you know what's a better question?
159
00:09:39,900 --> 00:09:41,900
how do you get given
red goddamned roses
160
00:09:41,967 --> 00:09:44,334
- and turn around and act like this?
- act like what?
161
00:09:44,401 --> 00:09:46,334
like a fucking cunt.
162
00:10:19,301 --> 00:10:20,967
kim?
163
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,700
hey?
are you mad?
164
00:10:32,167 --> 00:10:34,501
honey?
165
00:10:34,568 --> 00:10:36,700
look, i'm sorry
i got angry,
166
00:10:36,767 --> 00:10:39,601
but uh, i think we should
finish talking about this
167
00:10:39,668 --> 00:10:41,501
right now, i--
oh, thanks.
168
00:10:41,568 --> 00:10:43,867
look, listen, i'm really
sorry i lost my temper.
169
00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:46,767
i didn't mean--
you just--
170
00:10:46,833 --> 00:10:49,000
a pie-- you
made me a pie?!
171
00:10:49,067 --> 00:10:51,634
oh, that's so nice.
thank--
172
00:11:03,267 --> 00:11:05,267
why are you--
173
00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:09,534
you totally
ruined it.
174
00:11:35,034 --> 00:11:36,800
- hey, walter.
- hey.
175
00:11:36,867 --> 00:11:38,934
hey, do you have
the time?
176
00:11:40,201 --> 00:11:42,367
- 6:45.
- thanks.
177
00:11:42,434 --> 00:11:44,800
and and, uh--
do you have the day?
178
00:11:53,334 --> 00:11:55,833
- it's friday.
- oh.
179
00:11:55,900 --> 00:11:58,100
still friday?
180
00:11:58,167 --> 00:12:01,601
man, i hate
romantic weekends.
181
00:12:01,668 --> 00:12:03,668
tsk...
182
00:12:20,301 --> 00:12:22,301
oh, hey.
183
00:12:24,401 --> 00:12:26,601
um...
184
00:12:26,668 --> 00:12:29,534
how are you doing?
185
00:12:29,601 --> 00:12:31,601
are you all right?
186
00:12:32,767 --> 00:12:35,000
come on, kim,
187
00:12:35,067 --> 00:12:37,034
what's going o are
you not talking to me?
188
00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:39,501
is that what you're
doing now?
189
00:12:41,134 --> 00:12:43,534
i said
i was sorry.
190
00:12:44,900 --> 00:12:46,534
look, it's just that
191
00:12:46,601 --> 00:12:48,301
i felt like you were
criticizing me,
192
00:12:48,367 --> 00:12:50,267
and that really
hurt my feelings.
193
00:12:50,334 --> 00:12:52,668
and then we started arguing
and nobody was hearing
194
00:12:52,733 --> 00:12:55,167
what the other person was
saying-- so to, you know,
195
00:12:55,234 --> 00:12:58,067
jar us out of a deadlock
i called you a cunt.
196
00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:08,767
well, you gotta admit at least
i was trying to do something.
197
00:13:08,833 --> 00:13:10,867
i was trying to move
the argument forward.
198
00:13:15,967 --> 00:13:17,833
all right, you know what? forget that.
199
00:13:17,900 --> 00:13:19,634
that-- that was
all bad.
200
00:13:19,700 --> 00:13:22,634
just erase that.
let me start again.
201
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:27,601
i'm really really
very very sorry
202
00:13:27,668 --> 00:13:29,900
that i said
what i said.
203
00:13:29,967 --> 00:13:33,934
it was mean and stupid
and not a ce thing.
204
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:36,967
shouldn't have
done that.
205
00:13:37,034 --> 00:13:39,833
the flowers-- i still think
that was kind of nice, though--
206
00:13:39,900 --> 00:13:42,367
to bring them.
207
00:13:42,434 --> 00:13:44,501
all right,
you know what?
208
00:13:44,568 --> 00:13:47,967
forget the flowers and the
back-and-forth name-calling.
209
00:13:48,034 --> 00:13:50,833
just-- listen, be
logical for two minutes--
210
00:13:50,900 --> 00:13:52,800
the clock's ticking
on our big weekend.
211
00:13:52,867 --> 00:13:55,267
do you wanna waste the
whole thing fighting?
212
00:13:57,201 --> 00:14:01,100
well, come on,
this is stupid!
213
00:14:01,167 --> 00:14:03,700
so what? you got some
flowers you didn't like,
214
00:14:03,767 --> 00:14:06,867
and somebody called
you a name, boo-hoo.
215
00:14:11,201 --> 00:14:14,100
and stop walking out
of rooms. it's rude.
216
00:14:15,568 --> 00:14:17,601
you know what? there's
no winning with you.
217
00:14:17,668 --> 00:14:20,467
you-- you set this
shit machine in motion.
218
00:14:20,534 --> 00:14:22,934
it didn't have
to go this way.
219
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,967
now you're gonna
ruin our whole weekend
220
00:14:25,034 --> 00:14:27,034
'cause you won't
accept my apology?
221
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:31,167
well, i take it back. i'm
not sorry about the flowers,
222
00:14:31,234 --> 00:14:33,334
and i'm not sorry
i called you a cunt.
223
00:14:33,401 --> 00:14:35,668
you know why?
'cause you are a cunt!
224
00:14:35,733 --> 00:14:37,634
you're a cunt!
cunt cunt
225
00:14:37,700 --> 00:14:41,201
cuntity-cunt cunt
cunt!
226
00:14:41,267 --> 00:14:44,134
have some flowers,
you cunt.
227
00:14:51,534 --> 00:14:53,467
hey, louball.
228
00:14:53,534 --> 00:14:55,634
listen, while you've
still got your pants on,
229
00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:59,067
let me go grab my contacts
case. i left it in your bathroom.
230
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,167
ooh, what happened
there?
231
00:15:42,334 --> 00:15:44,301
hello?
232
00:15:45,334 --> 00:15:47,334
hey, can i come in?
233
00:15:50,334 --> 00:15:54,000
hey, uh,
sorry again.
234
00:15:56,034 --> 00:16:00,000
uh, ahem, i definitely
shouldn't have said that.
235
00:16:00,067 --> 00:16:04,167
uh, shouldn't
have called you that--
236
00:16:04,234 --> 00:16:06,234
the first time
and the second time.
237
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:10,568
i'm only counting
the second time as once
238
00:16:10,634 --> 00:16:12,800
even though i know i
said it a bunch of times.
239
00:16:15,401 --> 00:16:17,634
all right, so...
240
00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:20,234
can i sleep here?
241
00:16:20,301 --> 00:16:22,767
just sleep, obviously. i
know nothing's gonna happen.
242
00:16:22,833 --> 00:16:24,501
is it?
243
00:16:27,201 --> 00:16:29,000
so you're okay
with that
244
00:16:29,067 --> 00:16:31,800
if i just--
you know?
245
00:16:33,900 --> 00:16:36,000
all right, okay,
you stay here.
246
00:16:36,067 --> 00:16:38,267
i'll go sleep
in lucy's bed.
247
00:17:06,601 --> 00:17:08,568
fuck!
248
00:17:17,867 --> 00:17:19,800
hey, good morning.
249
00:17:19,867 --> 00:17:23,568
i made your favorite. it's
turkey bacon and egg whites.
250
00:17:27,733 --> 00:17:30,467
hey, you're not gonna
eat that or--
251
00:17:30,534 --> 00:17:33,867
oh, that ain't right.
252
00:17:35,401 --> 00:17:37,534
well hey, i made you some tea also.
253
00:17:37,601 --> 00:17:39,568
do you
want some sugar?
254
00:17:39,634 --> 00:17:41,668
just say when.
255
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,800
wow, you like it
sweet, huh?
256
00:18:00,534 --> 00:18:03,467
pyoomm!
257
00:18:03,534 --> 00:18:05,733
nyum.
258
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:08,034
yepah, yepah,
yepah, yepah!
259
00:18:09,767 --> 00:18:11,434
pa-pan, pa-pan,
pananan.
260
00:18:19,534 --> 00:18:21,800
hey, i was thinking
about fucking your sister,
261
00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:24,733
do you have
a problem with that?
262
00:18:33,534 --> 00:18:36,668
no? all right,
cool.
263
00:18:36,733 --> 00:18:39,234
i'm gonna fuck her.
264
00:18:44,067 --> 00:18:46,668
hey, did you know
that every 15 seconds
265
00:18:46,733 --> 00:18:50,234
somewhere in america a
man calls his wife a cunt?
266
00:18:51,301 --> 00:18:53,334
god, what's going on
in this country?
267
00:18:57,067 --> 00:19:00,067
all right, you know what?
i'd like to remind you
268
00:19:00,134 --> 00:19:02,201
that today is saturday,
tomorrow is sunday
269
00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:04,234
and lucy's
coming home.
270
00:19:04,301 --> 00:19:06,234
if you wanna ruin our whole
weekend doing this shit,
271
00:19:06,301 --> 00:19:09,067
then fine, you do it.
i'm not doing it.
272
00:19:09,134 --> 00:19:11,167
i'm going out.
273
00:19:13,401 --> 00:19:15,367
louie, can you tell kim
that ellen said--
274
00:19:15,434 --> 00:19:17,534
tell her yourself,
she's not talking to me.
275
00:19:17,601 --> 00:19:19,201
oh yeah?
what happened?
276
00:19:19,267 --> 00:19:21,501
i got in a big fight with her
and i called her a cunt.
277
00:19:21,568 --> 00:19:23,601
oh!
278
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:30,501
- oh, man.
- yeah. yeah, i know.
279
00:19:30,568 --> 00:19:33,000
- i called ellen that once.
- really? what happened?
280
00:19:34,401 --> 00:19:36,467
wow, what did she
get you with?
281
00:19:36,534 --> 00:19:39,367
- a curling iron.
- she really held it on there, huh?
282
00:19:39,434 --> 00:19:42,367
i'm just glad i got
out of the tub, man.
283
00:19:44,833 --> 00:19:47,134
hey, louie.
284
00:19:48,367 --> 00:19:51,134
one more day.
285
00:20:01,301 --> 00:20:02,934
hey, lucy.
286
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,501
papa, what are
you doing here?
287
00:20:05,568 --> 00:20:08,067
i don't have to go home until tomorrow.
288
00:20:08,134 --> 00:20:11,167
no, i know, i just felt like
seeing you and saying hi.
289
00:20:11,234 --> 00:20:14,334
- is that okay?
- no, i don't wanna go home yet.
290
00:20:14,401 --> 00:20:18,501
i'm not here to take you home. i just
wanted to talk to you for a minute, jeez.
291
00:20:18,568 --> 00:20:22,867
you said i could stay until
tomorrow. i wanna play with francesca.
292
00:20:22,934 --> 00:20:24,900
go ahead and play with her.
nobody's stopping you.
293
00:20:24,967 --> 00:20:28,234
go away, you're not
supposed to be here!
294
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,167
fine, go have fun.
i just wanted to talk to you
295
00:20:32,234 --> 00:20:35,467
- for five stinking minutes.
- bye, papa, see you tomorrow.
296
00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:45,234
hey, check it out-- the
man with the golden cock.
297
00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:49,201
what happened to your
big weekend of sex?
298
00:20:49,267 --> 00:20:51,401
so what happened?
did you fall in?
299
00:20:53,201 --> 00:20:55,467
that doesn't make
any sense.
300
00:20:55,534 --> 00:20:58,301
yeah, it does. it means
your wife's pussy is so big
301
00:20:58,367 --> 00:21:01,367
that you fell in it.
302
00:21:01,434 --> 00:21:04,100
that's a big pussy.
303
00:21:06,334 --> 00:21:09,967
- you guys are dicks.
- so what happened?
304
00:21:10,034 --> 00:21:12,833
kim's not talking to me. the
whole weekend went to shit.
305
00:21:12,900 --> 00:21:15,668
i've been sleeping in lucy's
bed for the last two nights.
306
00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:18,634
- what did you do?
- oh, she's got this thing about red roses,
307
00:21:18,700 --> 00:21:20,800
don't ask me what.
anyway, i forgot,
308
00:21:20,867 --> 00:21:23,301
and i brought her some.
she went totally ballistic.
309
00:21:23,367 --> 00:21:25,501
- 'cause you brought her red roses?
- yeah.
310
00:21:25,568 --> 00:21:28,733
i brought her a huge bouquet
and she threw 'em at me
311
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:33,034
and callede names and
threw me out of the house.
312
00:21:33,100 --> 00:21:34,967
oh, that's not cool.
313
00:21:35,034 --> 00:21:37,100
- right?
- and now she's not talking to you?
314
00:21:37,167 --> 00:21:39,733
- yeah.
- sounds like you're the one that should be mad.
315
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:41,367
i know, that's why
i called her a cunt.
316
00:21:41,434 --> 00:21:43,634
- whoa!
- whoa, hey!
317
00:21:45,668 --> 00:21:47,833
are you crazy?
318
00:21:47,900 --> 00:21:50,267
they don't like that.
319
00:21:50,334 --> 00:21:52,267
it's a tough one
to come back from.
320
00:21:52,334 --> 00:21:54,900
you gave that shitty
marriage every chance, lou.
321
00:21:56,601 --> 00:21:59,534
it's not that i was mad that
she didn't like the flowers,
322
00:21:59,601 --> 00:22:02,501
i wanted her to thank me. i know
i shouldn't have called her that,
323
00:22:02,568 --> 00:22:04,334
but she should have
thanked me, right?
324
00:22:04,401 --> 00:22:07,634
i don't know. not if
she doesn't like them.
325
00:22:07,700 --> 00:22:10,367
are you kidding me? of course,
she should have thanked you.
326
00:22:10,434 --> 00:22:12,167
red roses?
327
00:22:12,234 --> 00:22:14,601
red roses?
328
00:22:14,668 --> 00:22:17,234
had she told you before
that she doesn't like them?
329
00:22:18,568 --> 00:22:20,900
what is she,
stupid?
330
00:22:20,967 --> 00:22:23,301
red roses
are the universal
331
00:22:23,367 --> 00:22:26,900
internationally-recognized symbol of
"i love you." everybody knows that.
332
00:22:26,967 --> 00:22:30,301
what's her problem? she
can't argue with red roses.
333
00:22:30,367 --> 00:22:32,434
they're
in-fucking-disputable.
334
00:22:32,501 --> 00:22:34,700
you know what
i think?
335
00:22:34,767 --> 00:22:38,234
you hit a home run
with cunt, my friend.
336
00:22:38,301 --> 00:22:41,467
nail on the fucking head.
337
00:22:41,534 --> 00:22:44,301
oh god, i'm a huge asshole.
338
00:22:44,367 --> 00:22:47,067
jesus, you got
a real potty mouth.
339
00:22:49,067 --> 00:22:52,601
damn it,
i gotta go home.
340
00:22:55,900 --> 00:22:58,900
hi.
341
00:22:58,967 --> 00:23:02,568
it occurred to me that i never
even bothered to ask you...
342
00:23:03,634 --> 00:23:06,367
why you don't like
red roses.
343
00:23:06,434 --> 00:23:09,000
well, i think i figured
it out for myself.
344
00:23:09,067 --> 00:23:11,967
red roses are cheesy
and meaningless--
345
00:23:12,034 --> 00:23:14,034
a totally empty
gesture.
346
00:23:14,100 --> 00:23:17,467
they're for asshole husbands
who treat their wives like shit.
347
00:23:17,534 --> 00:23:20,067
and you deserve
a lot more
348
00:23:20,134 --> 00:23:22,700
than some hollow
token of a gift.
349
00:23:22,767 --> 00:23:25,501
if i could find a flower
that was unique to you,
350
00:23:25,568 --> 00:23:27,467
it had
your face on it,
351
00:23:27,534 --> 00:23:30,634
- with your eyes--
- stop, please!
352
00:23:30,700 --> 00:23:33,534
jesus, stop!
stop.
353
00:23:33,601 --> 00:23:36,201
you talked to me.
354
00:23:37,334 --> 00:23:40,934
yes. look,
355
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:44,267
what you're saying
about roses is true.
356
00:23:44,334 --> 00:23:48,067
great, and thank you for that
interesting presentation.
357
00:23:49,767 --> 00:23:52,201
but the whole point
was this--
358
00:23:52,267 --> 00:23:55,301
i told you something
and you didn't listen.
359
00:23:55,367 --> 00:23:56,967
that was the issue.
360
00:23:57,034 --> 00:23:58,934
when i tell you things
361
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,601
and you don't listen,
362
00:24:01,668 --> 00:24:03,867
it's a huge insult
to me.
363
00:24:03,934 --> 00:24:06,867
it makes me feel
like i don't matter.
364
00:24:08,434 --> 00:24:11,568
believe me,
i totally get this.
365
00:24:11,634 --> 00:24:13,601
you want me
to listen to you
366
00:24:13,668 --> 00:24:16,833
and then later remember
the things that you said.
367
00:24:24,401 --> 00:24:26,367
yeah.
368
00:24:27,434 --> 00:24:30,601
and as far as being
called a cunt...
369
00:24:32,534 --> 00:24:35,668
i don't like that,
370
00:24:35,733 --> 00:24:40,100
but i didn't think that was
something i had to tell you.
371
00:24:41,134 --> 00:24:43,134
yeah, i got it.
372
00:24:43,201 --> 00:24:45,301
and you may not
fuck my sister.
373
00:24:52,067 --> 00:24:54,700
i'm really sorry, i threw
away our whole weekend.
374
00:24:54,767 --> 00:24:56,767
lucy's coming home
in like 20 minutes.
375
00:24:58,501 --> 00:25:00,501
come on.
376
00:25:03,900 --> 00:25:06,167
oh, wait.
wait wait wait.
377
00:25:06,234 --> 00:25:08,767
what?
378
00:25:08,833 --> 00:25:11,733
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