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ARCHER:
Lana.
3
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Lana.
4
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-[inhales deeply]
-Let me go ahead
5
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and save you the trouble
of shouting my name
6
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-like a shrill five-year-old...-Shrill?
7
00:00:14,666 --> 00:00:16,277
...and point out
that I'm a little busy
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doing both our jobs.
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Which I'd be helping you with
10
00:00:19,106 --> 00:00:20,716
if I could find
the goddamn cherries.
11
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What cherries?
12
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The maraschino cherries, Lana.
I...
13
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,982
We are entering the atmosphere
of an uncharted planet
14
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at a couple thousand miles
per hour
15
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to check out a distress beacon,
16
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and you're talking to me
about cherries?
17
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She said. Dryly.
18
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:35,905
Sorry. I didn't invent how
to make a whiskey sour, Lana.
19
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Here's an idea.
20
00:00:37,167 --> 00:00:40,083
Maybe try inventing
not doing that right now.
21
00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:41,867
God, lighten up.
It's a road trip.
22
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Who goes on a road trip
without a few cocktails?
23
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-Look...
-Trick question, Lana.
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-No one does.
-This isn't...
25
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The time to try new things.
Exactly.
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00:00:49,701 --> 00:00:52,313
Especially when we're going
a thousand miles per...
27
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Goddamn it!
28
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-[alarm blaring]
-[crackling]
29
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FEMALE VOICE:
System failure.
30
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System failure.
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Autopilot is out!
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[grunts]
I got it.
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-[laughing]
-What is happening?-KRIEGER: What are they doing?!
34
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-[whimpering]
-Goddamn it!
35
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The hell's going on up there?
36
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Don't look at me!
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Talk to Captain Road Trip
over here!
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What? Oh, how is this
suddenly my fault?
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We're coming in hot!
40
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Everyone, hang on!
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Hey, if you happen to see
any cherries back there...
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Oh, God, give it a rest!
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You give it a rest!
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[all shouting]
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-[crash]
-[grunting]
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47
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[crackling]
48
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-[Cheryl laughing]
-[Cyril crying]
-Ow!
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-Holy shitsnacks!
-[coughs]
50
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[bottle rolling]
51
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[bottle clinks]
52
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Never mind.
53
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Found the cherries.
54
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[Archertheme playing]
55
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So, got some good news
and some bad news.
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Any chanceyou're gonna tell us what it is?
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Oh. Right.
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The bad news is,
comms are dead
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and the fuel cell's ruptured,
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so we're not going anywhere
anytime soon.
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Hang on. You mean
we're frickin' stranded?
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[scoffs]
Not stranded, dummy.
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He said "soon."
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Though I technically meant
"ever."
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Then what's the good news?
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Hmm. Guess it was
mostly just bad news.
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-Damn it, Krieger!
-God, relax.
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He said "mostly."
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So... completely inoperable.
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00:03:06,969 --> 00:03:08,840
Um, what are you doing?
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00:03:08,884 --> 00:03:11,626
Oh. Uh, since our insurance
claims keep getting denied,
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Ms. Archer has put me
in charge of the paperwork.
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Cause of accident:
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barely functional alcoholism.
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-Hey!
-All right, listen up.
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00:03:19,895 --> 00:03:21,375
Let's salvage what we can
from the shuttle
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and find the distress beacon.
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00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:24,291
It's probably a downed ship,
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so maybe there's a fuel cell
we can use.
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ARCHER:
Way ahead of you.
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On the "salvage what you can"
part.
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-Unbelievable.
-[snickers] Right?
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00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,170
What are the chances
lemons would survive the...
84
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,433
Can you please focus?
85
00:03:36,477 --> 00:03:38,522
Why? Mother's
probably putting together
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a rescue plan as we speak.
87
00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:41,830
-[Muzak playing]
-[beeping]
88
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Mm. should probably check
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on why their comms are down.
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Meh. Feels like it can wait.
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[sighs deeply]
92
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Everything can wait.
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94
00:03:56,192 --> 00:03:57,498
[smacks lips, sighs]
95
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Speaking of,
anybody want in on this?
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I'm about to make another batch.
97
00:04:00,588 --> 00:04:02,416
-Seriously?
-Road trip.
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00:04:02,459 --> 00:04:04,635
Which we may be on forever
if we're stranded here.
99
00:04:04,679 --> 00:04:06,942
Oh, take it easy, Lana.
It'll be fine.
100
00:04:06,985 --> 00:04:09,945
And this blithe optimism
is based on what, exactly?
101
00:04:09,988 --> 00:04:12,513
Because this is me
we're talking about.
102
00:04:12,556 --> 00:04:13,427
Wildly reassuring.
103
00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:14,776
Trust me on this.
104
00:04:14,819 --> 00:04:16,995
I have mastered the art
of blind luck.
105
00:04:17,039 --> 00:04:18,693
No offense to your blind luck,
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but it might be nice
to have a plan B.
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Why? Seriously,
do you have any idea
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how many times I should haveliterally died in the last year?
109
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-Wow me.
-Krieger, tell her.
110
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Including that thing last week?
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00:04:30,139 --> 00:04:32,315
Hey! This is totally safe,
right?
112
00:04:32,359 --> 00:04:35,100
-Technically?
-As in "actually," Krieger!
113
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Kind of feels like probably.
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To both of those.
115
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Whoa, whoa, wait! What?!
116
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-Then nine.
-Boosh.
117
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Please tell me there's a point.
118
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Point is,
if you hit pause
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on your whole angry
negativity thing...
120
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Angry what?
121
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...for, like, one second,
122
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you'd notice
we always end up fine.
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[creature snarling]
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125
00:04:56,644 --> 00:04:58,167
[gulping]
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Though we may be pushing
our luck at this point.
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[sighs]
Christ on a cracker.
128
00:05:05,783 --> 00:05:07,959
Is this whole frickin' planet
uphill?
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00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:09,831
[gasps]
Jesus, is that a thing?
130
00:05:09,874 --> 00:05:13,051
At least it means we're not
totally lost going in circles.
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KRIEGER:
Though not feeling
entirely un-lost.
132
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We're not lost, idiots.
133
00:05:16,794 --> 00:05:19,057
I know how to work
the whatchamahickey.
134
00:05:19,101 --> 00:05:20,494
Really?
Because "whatchamahickey"
135
00:05:20,537 --> 00:05:22,278
doesn't inspire
tons of confidence.
136
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,758
It's technically
a whatchamacallit.
137
00:05:23,801 --> 00:05:26,587
Or am I being too negative?
138
00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:28,240
-When are you not?
-All the time, jackass!
139
00:05:28,284 --> 00:05:30,547
-Oh, and there's the angry part.-Look...
140
00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:33,289
Face it, Lana. Angry'sbasically your default setting.
141
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-Says who?
-Besides everybody?
142
00:05:35,030 --> 00:05:37,772
-Well, not everybody.
-Thank you!
143
00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:39,556
[chuckles]: Just the people
who've actually met you.
144
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,558
Yeah. Possibly a few others.
145
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Hey, assholes.
146
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I'm not, like,
perpetually angry.
147
00:05:44,474 --> 00:05:46,520
[laughing]
Really?
148
00:05:46,563 --> 00:05:48,565
-Yes, really.
-Scale of one to ten, Lana,
149
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how happy would you say you are,in general?
150
00:05:51,046 --> 00:05:52,439
Oh, easily a six.
151
00:05:52,482 --> 00:05:54,223
A six?
Then what's a seven,
152
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"Yay, I've got tons of cancer"?
153
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Like you're any better.
154
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Seriously?
I'm always a total nine.
155
00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:00,534
[scoffs]
Please.
156
00:06:00,577 --> 00:06:02,840
I'm buoyant, Lana,
bordering on bubbly.
157
00:06:02,884 --> 00:06:04,189
Listen to how I talk.
158
00:06:04,233 --> 00:06:06,409
-There's a tone.
-A tone?
159
00:06:06,453 --> 00:06:07,671
Yes, Lana, a tone.
160
00:06:07,715 --> 00:06:10,108
Notice how my sentences go up
at the end?
161
00:06:10,152 --> 00:06:12,633
Oh, yeah. You mean like,
"Shut the hell up"?
162
00:06:12,676 --> 00:06:14,417
-[beeping]
-Exac-- Damn it.
163
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-Ow!
-Ha.
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Now I'm a seven,
by the way.
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[creature snarling]
166
00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:24,035
And now I'm a two.
167
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[footsteps stomping]
168
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,562
So which partof the blind luck plan is this?
169
00:06:28,605 --> 00:06:31,260
Um, I think this is the part
where you sh...
170
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...it!
171
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Finally!
172
00:06:33,654 --> 00:06:35,612
Some frickin' downhill.
173
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[thud]
174
00:06:36,744 --> 00:06:38,485
[beeping quickens]
175
00:06:38,528 --> 00:06:42,706
Blind luck,
you are my spirit animal.
176
00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:47,711
Holy spacesnacks.
177
00:06:47,755 --> 00:06:49,931
What the hell happened?
178
00:06:49,974 --> 00:06:52,150
Hopefully nothing a fuel cell
couldn't survive.
179
00:06:52,194 --> 00:06:54,152
Yeah, otherwise,
we're pretty much screwed.
180
00:06:54,196 --> 00:06:55,458
Easy, Debbie Downer.
181
00:06:55,502 --> 00:06:57,547
No one wants to go
to your dark place right now.
182
00:06:57,591 --> 00:06:58,679
You know...
183
00:06:58,722 --> 00:06:59,680
Yeah, but she's right.
184
00:06:59,723 --> 00:07:01,682
We only have enough food
for a few days.
185
00:07:01,725 --> 00:07:04,467
Then what?
We sit around and starve?
186
00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:06,251
[scoffs] Please,
whoever survives the culling
187
00:07:06,295 --> 00:07:08,689
-will have plenty of food.
-The what?
188
00:07:08,732 --> 00:07:10,038
Uh, the culling?
189
00:07:10,081 --> 00:07:12,040
You know, where people suffocatein their sleep
190
00:07:12,083 --> 00:07:13,911
with gross, sweaty socks
stuffed in their mouths
191
00:07:13,955 --> 00:07:15,347
or get accidentally stabbed
in the neck
192
00:07:15,391 --> 00:07:18,046
while they pee or whatever?
193
00:07:18,089 --> 00:07:20,352
-What?
-The details make it weird.
194
00:07:20,396 --> 00:07:21,702
Just the details?
195
00:07:21,745 --> 00:07:22,703
Section seven,
196
00:07:22,746 --> 00:07:25,357
possible post-accident injuries.
197
00:07:25,401 --> 00:07:28,535
-Uh, that's "culling"
with a "C," right?
-Look,
198
00:07:28,578 --> 00:07:30,667
idiots, there's got to be a fuelcell around here somewhere.
199
00:07:30,711 --> 00:07:32,539
They're basically impossible
to destroy.
200
00:07:32,582 --> 00:07:34,541
Unless the pilot
spills a cocktail
201
00:07:34,584 --> 00:07:36,543
-all over the flight controls.
-Yeah.
202
00:07:36,586 --> 00:07:38,762
But what are the odds
their pilot was that kick-ass?
203
00:07:38,806 --> 00:07:42,549
Perhaps better than you think.
204
00:07:42,592 --> 00:07:43,898
LANA:
Holy...
205
00:07:43,941 --> 00:07:46,640
PAM:
Shitsnacks.
206
00:07:46,683 --> 00:07:47,771
Ooh. Fascinating.
207
00:07:47,815 --> 00:07:49,643
Now I'm an eight.
208
00:07:49,686 --> 00:07:52,646
LANA:
How is this possible?
209
00:07:52,689 --> 00:07:53,690
CYRIL:
It-it isn't.
210
00:07:53,734 --> 00:07:54,909
This is insane.
211
00:07:54,952 --> 00:07:56,432
ARCHER:
Obviously.
212
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:59,000
I mean,
who shaves off hair like this?
213
00:07:59,043 --> 00:08:00,567
[laughs]
214
00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:02,917
Idiot.
215
00:08:06,790 --> 00:08:10,664
LANA:
Okay, there's got to be
a logical explanation.
216
00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:12,753
ARCHER:
Lana, there's nothing logical
about shaving...
217
00:08:12,796 --> 00:08:14,755
Not talking about your hair,
dumbass.
218
00:08:14,798 --> 00:08:16,757
None of this makes any sense.
219
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,629
Uh, ever consider the fact
we're obviously ghosts
220
00:08:19,673 --> 00:08:22,414
looking at our own
stupid dead bodies?
221
00:08:22,458 --> 00:08:24,721
We're not ghosts,
dick nuts.
222
00:08:24,765 --> 00:08:25,766
How do you-- Ow!
223
00:08:25,809 --> 00:08:28,551
Buy a girl a drink first.
224
00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:29,770
Jesus.
225
00:08:29,813 --> 00:08:32,642
Is anyone here familiar
with multiverse theory?
226
00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:33,991
How 'bout pretend we're not?
227
00:08:34,035 --> 00:08:36,907
Long story short,this may be a parallel universe,
228
00:08:36,951 --> 00:08:39,649
making these our doppelgangers.
229
00:08:39,693 --> 00:08:40,911
Doppel-what?
230
00:08:40,955 --> 00:08:42,913
Sort of like
everyone's alter egos.
231
00:08:42,957 --> 00:08:45,220
[sighs]
Not everyone's.
232
00:08:45,263 --> 00:08:47,222
Yeah.
Where's yours, Krieger?
233
00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:49,572
Huh.
Maybe doppel-Krieger survived.
234
00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:52,706
Yeah. And maybe
he killed everybody.
235
00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:53,707
[chuckles nervously]
Please,
236
00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:55,578
why would I
ever finally do that?
237
00:08:55,622 --> 00:08:57,798
[static, trilling]
238
00:08:57,841 --> 00:09:00,235
What the hell?
239
00:09:00,278 --> 00:09:01,758
-[alarm blaring]
-Mayday, mayday.
240
00:09:01,802 --> 00:09:03,630
This is Sterling Archer
of the MVSeamus,
241
00:09:03,673 --> 00:09:04,761
and we are going down.
242
00:09:04,805 --> 00:09:06,850
Repeat, we are going down.
243
00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:08,765
Transmitting our location now.
244
00:09:08,809 --> 00:09:11,376
And, on a personal note,
whoever gets this,
245
00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:13,640
please know
my only regret is...
246
00:09:13,683 --> 00:09:15,076
The hair, obviously.
247
00:09:15,119 --> 00:09:16,468
-Shut up.
-Oh, come on.
-Shut up, man.
248
00:09:16,512 --> 00:09:18,688
...I wasn't able to save
my valiant crew.
249
00:09:18,732 --> 00:09:19,820
My dear friends, Cyril,
250
00:09:19,863 --> 00:09:21,386
Pam, Krieger,
251
00:09:21,430 --> 00:09:22,823
Ray, Crystal...
252
00:09:22,866 --> 00:09:25,434
Oh, my God! Totally forgot
about the Crystal thing.
253
00:09:25,477 --> 00:09:26,870
...I love you all dearly.
254
00:09:26,914 --> 00:09:29,003
Truly the best friends
a guy could have.
255
00:09:29,046 --> 00:09:30,831
-Aw.
-Oh, my God, give me...
256
00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:31,832
OTHERS:
Shut up!
257
00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:32,963
But, most of all,
258
00:09:33,007 --> 00:09:34,661
I'll miss my wife, Lana.
259
00:09:34,704 --> 00:09:37,881
You're the greatest thing
that ever happened to me.
260
00:09:37,925 --> 00:09:39,796
I wrote you this poem
I want to read.
261
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:43,757
It's called
"I'll Never Stop..."
262
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,106
"Totally Embarrassing Yourself"?
263
00:09:45,149 --> 00:09:46,890
-Come on!
-Oh, God!
264
00:09:46,934 --> 00:09:49,240
You realize, theoretically,
that was you, right?
265
00:09:49,284 --> 00:09:50,894
How? He's nothing like me.
266
00:09:50,938 --> 00:09:53,897
Got a point. He did seem
entirely non-self-absorbed.
267
00:09:53,941 --> 00:09:55,812
Exactly.
Wait, what?
268
00:09:55,856 --> 00:09:57,248
And weirdly not a dick.
269
00:09:57,292 --> 00:09:59,120
You're weirdly not a dick.
270
00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:00,774
-Makes no sense.
-Yeah.
271
00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:04,255
That other Archer
was refreshingly friendly.
272
00:10:04,299 --> 00:10:06,257
Yeah, like what you think
matters, Cyril.
273
00:10:06,301 --> 00:10:07,781
And we're back.
274
00:10:07,824 --> 00:10:10,087
And is it just me,
or was that shaved head thing
275
00:10:10,131 --> 00:10:12,437
-super working?
-Totally.
276
00:10:12,481 --> 00:10:14,048
-Ka-sploosh!
-I was into it.
277
00:10:14,091 --> 00:10:16,354
Just sit thereand be into the non-hair-having,
278
00:10:16,398 --> 00:10:18,226
clearly castrated version of me
279
00:10:18,269 --> 00:10:21,838
while I go find a fuel cell to
get us all out of here, which,
280
00:10:21,882 --> 00:10:26,713
P.S., is pretty much
the opposite of self-absorbed!
281
00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:31,369
So, how's
the bubbly thing going?
282
00:10:31,413 --> 00:10:33,154
Still sporting that nine?
283
00:10:33,197 --> 00:10:34,721
[timidly]:
No.
284
00:10:34,764 --> 00:10:37,724
[creature snarling]
285
00:10:37,767 --> 00:10:40,291
[footsteps stomping]
286
00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:48,256
"Are you making any
of the following claims
287
00:10:48,299 --> 00:10:49,692
for emotional distress?"
288
00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:51,259
Yes, yes, yes.
289
00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:52,303
Well, these are all yes.
290
00:10:52,347 --> 00:10:54,697
[screaming]
291
00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:56,699
[all shouting]
292
00:10:56,743 --> 00:10:59,136
[ship creaking]
293
00:10:59,180 --> 00:11:01,138
[thud]
294
00:11:01,182 --> 00:11:04,185
Shit, I'm heavy.
295
00:11:04,228 --> 00:11:05,229
[creature snarls]
296
00:11:07,841 --> 00:11:08,929
[all screaming]
297
00:11:08,972 --> 00:11:10,800
ARCHER:
Incoming!
298
00:11:11,409 --> 00:11:12,759
[thud]
299
00:11:16,806 --> 00:11:20,375
[roaring]
300
00:11:20,418 --> 00:11:25,336
[muffled]:
So, I officially quit.
301
00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:26,860
And speaking of good news,
302
00:11:26,903 --> 00:11:30,124
I assume finding this
crammed up my ass qualified?
303
00:11:30,167 --> 00:11:32,213
Is that a fuel cell?
Oh, thank God.
304
00:11:32,256 --> 00:11:34,432
Shut up, Cyril.
You still don't matter.
305
00:11:34,476 --> 00:11:35,825
[Cheryl laughs]
306
00:11:35,869 --> 00:11:38,959
It's funny 'cause it's true.
307
00:11:39,002 --> 00:11:42,353
KRIEGER:
Okay, got some good news
and bad news.
308
00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:43,877
[snarls]
309
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:46,923
Bad news is, that thing's
not going anywhere.
310
00:11:46,967 --> 00:11:48,838
And the good news?
311
00:11:48,882 --> 00:11:50,622
Mm. I swear
I had something for this.
312
00:11:50,666 --> 00:11:52,407
-Krieger.
-Krieger!
-Great.
313
00:11:52,450 --> 00:11:54,757
Making us pretty much screwed.
314
00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:56,541
-Easily a six.
-Shut it.
315
00:11:56,585 --> 00:11:58,979
And let the culling begin!
316
00:11:59,022 --> 00:11:59,980
Okay.
317
00:12:00,023 --> 00:12:01,633
[thud]
318
00:12:01,677 --> 00:12:03,548
Maybe instead
of culling each other,
319
00:12:03,592 --> 00:12:05,768
we should come up
with an actual plan.
320
00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:07,857
Like, obviously,
someone needs to go out there
321
00:12:07,901 --> 00:12:09,990
and distract that thing
while everyone else gets away.
322
00:12:10,033 --> 00:12:10,991
And I vote Pam.
323
00:12:11,034 --> 00:12:12,775
What? Screw you, dick nuts.
324
00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:14,342
-What?
-Why me?
325
00:12:14,385 --> 00:12:15,778
Because look at you, Pam.
326
00:12:15,822 --> 00:12:17,998
That thing's not gonna want
to eat... that.
327
00:12:18,041 --> 00:12:19,216
Well, you either!
328
00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:21,262
'Cause who'd want to eat
a complete dick?
329
00:12:21,305 --> 00:12:23,481
Just gonna softball it in
like that?
330
00:12:23,525 --> 00:12:25,483
Sorry I didn't invent
appetizing, Pam.
331
00:12:25,527 --> 00:12:28,051
Yeah, well,
I'm sorry we ended up
332
00:12:28,095 --> 00:12:30,271
with the complete asshole
version of you.
333
00:12:30,314 --> 00:12:33,709
Oh, what? You'd rather have
touchy-feely bald guy?
334
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,189
-Yep, yep, yep.
-100%.
-No contest.
335
00:12:35,232 --> 00:12:37,495
Fine. Know what?
336
00:12:37,539 --> 00:12:39,889
[grunts]
You want him?
337
00:12:39,933 --> 00:12:41,891
[grunts]
338
00:12:41,935 --> 00:12:44,633
Then come and get him!
339
00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:45,852
Boom! Wordplay!
340
00:12:45,895 --> 00:12:48,376
-[snarling]
-Now run, idiots!
341
00:12:48,419 --> 00:12:50,944
342
00:12:52,249 --> 00:12:53,729
[leaves rustling]
343
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,036
LANA:
So, was it weird?
344
00:12:56,079 --> 00:12:56,819
Probably.
345
00:12:56,863 --> 00:12:58,821
Wait, what are we talking about?
346
00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:01,389
You know, watching your alterego get eaten by a giant lizard.
347
00:13:01,432 --> 00:13:03,913
Please, if that guy
was really my alter ego, Lana,
348
00:13:03,957 --> 00:13:05,610
he would have been something
really cool,
349
00:13:05,654 --> 00:13:07,961
like a secret agent
or a private detective
350
00:13:08,004 --> 00:13:09,266
-or a...
-[rustling]
351
00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:15,098
352
00:13:15,142 --> 00:13:16,883
Oh, my God!
353
00:13:16,926 --> 00:13:18,101
You guys are alive!
354
00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:19,102
Archer!
355
00:13:19,146 --> 00:13:21,017
Oh, God. Get it off.
356
00:13:21,061 --> 00:13:22,540
And your hair!
357
00:13:22,584 --> 00:13:24,891
-Right?
-It's glorious!
358
00:13:24,934 --> 00:13:26,980
Aw. Wait a minute.
359
00:13:27,023 --> 00:13:28,285
Doppelganger multiverse theory?
360
00:13:28,329 --> 00:13:29,852
[chuckles]
Exactly.
361
00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:32,463
And the rest of my crew's...
dead?
362
00:13:32,507 --> 00:13:35,205
-Exactly.-Oh, like you didn't kill them.
363
00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:36,206
[chuckles nervously]
What?
364
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:38,034
Why would I ever do that,
finally?
365
00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:39,035
-Right?
-Besides...
366
00:13:39,079 --> 00:13:40,297
You know what?
What do you say
367
00:13:40,341 --> 00:13:42,517
we take this half-assed reunionon the road
368
00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:45,781
before that tyrannosaurus
whatever shows up for seconds?
369
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,043
-Fascinating.
-What?
370
00:13:47,087 --> 00:13:49,263
Our Lana had
a lot of angry energy, too.
371
00:13:49,306 --> 00:13:51,091
Ha! Hilarious.
372
00:13:51,134 --> 00:13:52,092
Oh, is it?
373
00:13:52,135 --> 00:13:54,094
And that was
no Tyrannosaurus rexyou saw.
374
00:13:54,137 --> 00:13:56,444
I mean,
unless a T. rexis capable
375
00:13:56,487 --> 00:13:59,055
of camouflaging itself perfectlyin any surroundings
376
00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:01,536
with chameleon-like...
377
00:14:04,017 --> 00:14:05,670
Oh, shit.
378
00:14:05,714 --> 00:14:06,889
It's right behind me,
isn't it?
379
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:09,152
[low snarling]
380
00:14:10,719 --> 00:14:13,374
[snarling]
381
00:14:13,417 --> 00:14:18,074
So, how's that whole
blind luck thing working out?
382
00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:20,294
[all shouting]
383
00:14:20,337 --> 00:14:22,383
No! Me!
384
00:14:26,213 --> 00:14:27,954
[Archer laughs]
385
00:14:27,997 --> 00:14:29,172
You tell me.
386
00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:31,783
[snarling]
387
00:14:35,396 --> 00:14:38,399
[roaring]
388
00:14:38,442 --> 00:14:40,183
Uh, I mean, seriously, Lana,
389
00:14:40,227 --> 00:14:42,751
At some point, you really got
to ask yourself...
390
00:14:42,794 --> 00:14:44,100
It's not the time.
391
00:14:44,144 --> 00:14:46,407
...If maybe the luckiest spot
in the galaxy
392
00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:49,149
is standing right next to me.
393
00:14:49,192 --> 00:14:51,151
Got a whole bunch of wedding
photos that say otherwise.
394
00:14:51,194 --> 00:14:53,153
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
395
00:14:53,196 --> 00:14:54,589
[panting]
396
00:14:54,632 --> 00:14:56,286
We have wedding photos?
397
00:14:56,330 --> 00:14:58,941
Oh, yeah. Big box of 'em
labeled "Cautionary Tale,"
398
00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:01,030
which is what this whole thing'sgonna turn into
399
00:15:01,074 --> 00:15:04,729
if we can't find our way
back to the ship.
400
00:15:04,773 --> 00:15:05,948
How the hell?
401
00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:08,037
I've learned not to ask.
402
00:15:08,081 --> 00:15:09,996
Now, let's get the hell
out of here.
403
00:15:10,039 --> 00:15:11,432
Wait, what are you talking
about? We can't just fly off.
404
00:15:11,475 --> 00:15:14,000
What? Then why haveI been lugging this thing around
405
00:15:14,043 --> 00:15:15,175
all this time?
406
00:15:15,218 --> 00:15:17,307
No. I mean
we can't just leave everyone.
407
00:15:17,351 --> 00:15:19,092
Of course we're not, Lana.
408
00:15:19,135 --> 00:15:21,877
-[creature snarls]-Assuming they get here on time.
409
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,226
Wow. Such an asshole.
410
00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:24,880
-What?
-Could you try
411
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,100
not being completely consumed
with yourself
412
00:15:27,143 --> 00:15:29,232
for once in your life?
413
00:15:29,276 --> 00:15:31,408
Why?
414
00:15:33,062 --> 00:15:35,238
Wait, I don't want
to go wandering around
415
00:15:35,282 --> 00:15:38,111
a man-eating jungle
and suddenly I'mthe asshole?
416
00:15:38,154 --> 00:15:40,940
How does that even work?
417
00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:45,640
Oh, I know.
418
00:15:45,683 --> 00:15:47,990
Maybe I should shave my head
and take up poetry
419
00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:52,125
and see how many things I canrhyme with "soul-sucking" and...
420
00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:54,649
CYRIL:
Lana!
421
00:15:54,692 --> 00:15:57,608
Psst! Lana!
422
00:15:57,652 --> 00:15:59,393
What are you guys doing?
423
00:15:59,436 --> 00:16:01,047
[quietly]: Well,we
werehiding from that stupid,
424
00:16:01,090 --> 00:16:02,613
giant lizard thingy.
425
00:16:02,657 --> 00:16:05,268
But now, thanks
to your loud-as-shit ass...
426
00:16:05,312 --> 00:16:07,618
Not so much.
427
00:16:07,662 --> 00:16:09,490
[roaring]
428
00:16:09,533 --> 00:16:10,447
Holy...
429
00:16:10,491 --> 00:16:11,883
Shit.
430
00:16:11,927 --> 00:16:15,017
Oh, wait.
431
00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:17,454
KRIEGER:Ow! What are you doing, woman?!
432
00:16:17,498 --> 00:16:19,891
Besides pissing it off
even more!
433
00:16:19,935 --> 00:16:22,590
And totally killing
our earballs!
434
00:16:22,633 --> 00:16:24,896
-What?
-See?!
435
00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:26,028
[snarling]
436
00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:28,117
-[Pam screaming]
-KRIEGER: Goddamn it!
437
00:16:34,297 --> 00:16:37,170
[snarls]
438
00:16:37,213 --> 00:16:39,259
Good God.
What the hell's it doing now?
439
00:16:39,302 --> 00:16:41,174
I don't know,
moving on to plan B?
440
00:16:41,217 --> 00:16:44,525
Yeah, "B,"
as in "burying us alive!"
441
00:16:47,093 --> 00:16:48,964
[roaring]
442
00:16:51,358 --> 00:16:53,229
[roaring]
443
00:16:53,273 --> 00:16:54,230
Okay.
444
00:16:54,274 --> 00:16:55,884
Who brought the dog?
445
00:16:55,927 --> 00:16:58,191
[snarls]
446
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,108
[Archer grunts]
447
00:17:02,151 --> 00:17:04,110
[shouting]
448
00:17:04,153 --> 00:17:05,676
Damn it!
449
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,897
[all shouting]
450
00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:11,334
[snarls]
451
00:17:11,378 --> 00:17:12,857
No!
452
00:17:12,901 --> 00:17:15,077
[groans]
453
00:17:27,568 --> 00:17:31,093
[whirring]
454
00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:33,182
[creature screeching]
455
00:17:39,275 --> 00:17:41,538
[engines power down]
456
00:17:41,582 --> 00:17:45,455
Well, look who decided
not to be a total dick.
457
00:17:45,499 --> 00:17:48,110
Just couldn't leave
my buddy Cyril behind.
458
00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:49,285
Wait, really?
459
00:17:49,329 --> 00:17:50,591
Of course not, idiot.
460
00:17:50,634 --> 00:17:54,116
And yet you had the time to stopand make a cocktail.
461
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:57,119
God, you are
just so glass half-empty.
462
00:17:57,163 --> 00:17:58,251
Ooh, actually, me, too.
463
00:17:58,294 --> 00:18:01,167
So just gonna freshen this up.
464
00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:05,606
465
00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:14,354
MALORY:
Item one.
466
00:18:14,397 --> 00:18:16,356
-Item what?
-Yeah, what are we even doing?
467
00:18:16,399 --> 00:18:18,358
It's called an agenda.
468
00:18:18,401 --> 00:18:20,142
-For what?
-So confused right now.
469
00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:22,144
I swear, you people!
470
00:18:22,188 --> 00:18:24,015
[inhales]
Item one.
471
00:18:24,059 --> 00:18:26,235
The insurance company
has officially deemed
472
00:18:26,279 --> 00:18:28,281
the Seamus IIa total loss,
473
00:18:28,324 --> 00:18:29,717
so this little enterprise
474
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:32,720
may actually turn a profit
this year.
475
00:18:32,763 --> 00:18:35,026
What are you talking about?
476
00:18:35,070 --> 00:18:37,290
-The other crew.
-Hang on. I thought those were
477
00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:39,292
our parallel universe
doppel-bangers.
478
00:18:39,335 --> 00:18:40,815
Oh, for the love of...
479
00:18:40,858 --> 00:18:42,817
Those were clones,
you idiots.
480
00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:45,820
I had you people cloned
in your sleep.
481
00:18:45,863 --> 00:18:48,257
-Why?
-To double productivity, dear.
482
00:18:48,301 --> 00:18:50,085
It was Krieger's idea.
483
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:53,436
Oh, did I obviously forget
484
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:55,438
-to mention that?
-Yep.
485
00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:58,963
So wait till you see what we doto you in yoursleep.
486
00:18:59,007 --> 00:19:02,097
[quietly]:
Now I'm a nine.
487
00:19:26,469 --> 00:19:30,473
Made in Georgia.
488
00:19:34,434 --> 00:19:36,436
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