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1
00:00:48,010 --> 00:00:49,010
One minute!
2
00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:52,150
Afternoon tea service in 55 seconds!
3
00:00:52,790 --> 00:00:53,790
Leave him!
4
00:00:55,470 --> 00:00:56,910
45 seconds!
5
00:00:57,710 --> 00:01:00,270
Hey, who do I talk to if I need Thursday
off?
6
00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:14,860
Lovely. Everything looks absolutely...
Absolutely scrummy.
7
00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:17,580
Yum, yum. I fucking love tea.
8
00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:19,920
Can I feed Camilla a sugar cube?
9
00:01:20,260 --> 00:01:21,260
Just one.
10
00:01:22,940 --> 00:01:24,200
Oh, she took it.
11
00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:25,440
She's a good girl.
12
00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:28,960
Would you pour a little bit of tea down
Prince Philip's throat?
13
00:01:29,220 --> 00:01:30,360
With pleasure, Your Royal Highness.
14
00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:35,560
It's, uh, closed, ma 'am.
15
00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:36,960
Here, let me give it a try.
16
00:01:37,300 --> 00:01:38,480
Sometimes it sticks.
17
00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:42,340
All right, Grandpa, let's open your
mouth for William.
18
00:01:46,830 --> 00:01:51,890
Really stuck this time. Is it like
opening a jar? Maybe run it under hot
19
00:01:52,590 --> 00:01:54,970
Why am I even participating in this?
20
00:01:56,090 --> 00:01:57,090
Oh, neat.
21
00:01:57,290 --> 00:01:58,950
Demi Lovato is non -binary.
22
00:01:59,610 --> 00:02:00,610
Good for them.
23
00:02:01,410 --> 00:02:02,870
Oh, look, you got it open.
24
00:02:03,630 --> 00:02:05,050
Good as new.
25
00:02:05,530 --> 00:02:06,710
I would like a treat.
26
00:02:06,930 --> 00:02:09,530
I would like a treat. The Queen would
like a treat.
27
00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:14,130
Oh, Mummy, look at all the yummy, yummy,
yummies. Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy,
28
00:02:14,150 --> 00:02:16,250
yummy. Yummy, Mummy, Mummy, Mummy,
Mummy.
29
00:02:16,730 --> 00:02:18,130
You sound like a fucking idiot.
30
00:02:18,370 --> 00:02:20,550
That's why you're not king, in case
you're wondering.
31
00:02:20,970 --> 00:02:22,170
Sorry I got caught up.
32
00:02:22,410 --> 00:02:25,830
A selection of all your favourites, ma
'am. Where's the flummery tart?
33
00:02:26,170 --> 00:02:28,010
Where's the flummery tart?
34
00:02:28,330 --> 00:02:32,350
I don't see it. I don't... Oh, there it
is.
35
00:02:32,950 --> 00:02:34,110
I'll have that.
36
00:02:34,590 --> 00:02:35,590
Very good, ma 'am.
37
00:02:35,900 --> 00:02:36,900
Gimme, gimme.
38
00:02:39,820 --> 00:02:45,420
So I went online to see what was new
with Uncle Harry and Auntie Megan, and I
39
00:02:45,420 --> 00:02:46,460
couldn't find a thing.
40
00:02:46,860 --> 00:02:47,860
Isn't that odd?
41
00:02:48,140 --> 00:02:51,460
I would have thought she'd have at least
popped up in a tampon commercial by
42
00:02:51,460 --> 00:02:52,460
now.
43
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:54,840
Excuse me.
44
00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:56,440
You're fired.
45
00:02:56,740 --> 00:02:58,160
Sorry? You heard me.
46
00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:01,040
I won't tolerate your constant coughing
and hacking.
47
00:03:01,340 --> 00:03:05,440
Oh, Mummy, don't. I love that one. You
are so weak, Charles.
48
00:03:05,820 --> 00:03:07,140
Like this fucking tea.
49
00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:08,500
Get him out of here.
50
00:03:09,220 --> 00:03:10,960
Bye, Felicia.
51
00:03:11,940 --> 00:03:15,240
From this day forward, you will be in
charge of the tea service.
52
00:03:15,580 --> 00:03:16,840
I don't know what to say, ma 'am.
53
00:03:17,620 --> 00:03:22,800
I'm honoured. And I want you to know
that I'm super easy and just have fun
54
00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:24,020
it. Oi!
55
00:03:24,460 --> 00:03:25,460
Tea!
56
00:03:28,490 --> 00:03:29,490
Thank you.
57
00:03:30,550 --> 00:03:32,350
Okay, that kid freaks me out.
58
00:03:33,410 --> 00:03:36,890
Okay, slow down. What exactly did she
say to you again? A promotion.
59
00:03:37,110 --> 00:03:39,190
She gave me a promotion, Greg.
60
00:03:39,430 --> 00:03:42,770
I didn't think things could possibly get
any better after our wedding.
61
00:03:43,350 --> 00:03:47,590
With the extra money, we could start
saving for a surrogate. Nothing would
62
00:03:47,590 --> 00:03:49,990
me happier than for us to raise a baby
in this drawer.
63
00:03:50,350 --> 00:03:52,630
That dresser has two drawers.
64
00:03:53,530 --> 00:03:54,870
Twins, could you imagine?
65
00:03:55,130 --> 00:03:56,130
I could.
66
00:03:56,760 --> 00:04:00,460
Don't you see? It's all happening for
us. We're going to be one of those
67
00:04:00,460 --> 00:04:01,460
couples.
68
00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:03,520
It's just... What?
69
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:06,200
Pea service is a lot.
70
00:04:06,540 --> 00:04:08,420
Do you really think I'm up to it?
71
00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:12,520
You listen to me, Douglas Mitchell
Thorpe. I knew when I met you that first
72
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:16,019
changing Prince Philip's diaper that you
were destined for even greater things.
73
00:04:16,399 --> 00:04:19,620
That was already more than I had ever
dreamt for myself.
74
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,040
But I've learned to dream bigger.
75
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,800
Thanks to you, I believe in you.
76
00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:27,380
Just make sure he has that fucking tart.
77
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:37,720
Do you feel rested?
78
00:04:38,540 --> 00:04:39,540
Not really.
79
00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:47,240
Hey, Harry, I'm gonna... Okay, what are
you doing?
80
00:04:47,460 --> 00:04:48,460
Hanging out.
81
00:04:48,700 --> 00:04:49,980
You know, relaxing.
82
00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:51,500
Um, okay.
83
00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:55,480
It looks like you're standing kind of
rigid and formal. Not at all relaxed.
84
00:04:55,900 --> 00:04:57,120
Really? No.
85
00:04:57,940 --> 00:04:58,940
Opposite, actually.
86
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,720
Jesus, what did they do to you?
87
00:05:02,020 --> 00:05:04,460
Anyway, would you mind looking after
Archie? I have an audition.
88
00:05:04,780 --> 00:05:08,440
Is it for Martin Scorsese? It's for Last
Man Standing. But my agent said it
89
00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:09,439
could be recurring.
90
00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:11,640
I'm sure it's wonderful, darling. It
only sounds shitty.
91
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:13,700
Yeah. Thanks.
92
00:05:14,420 --> 00:05:15,600
Okay. See you later.
93
00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:17,680
Oh, would you pick up some milk?
94
00:05:21,549 --> 00:05:23,850
Everybody, may I have your attention?
95
00:05:27,570 --> 00:05:30,430
I said, may I have your attention?
96
00:05:31,850 --> 00:05:35,250
We are about to begin tea service.
97
00:05:35,590 --> 00:05:38,830
I know some of you are anxious. Some of
you are frightened.
98
00:05:39,150 --> 00:05:40,530
But know this.
99
00:05:40,770 --> 00:05:43,050
We do this for our queen.
100
00:05:43,490 --> 00:05:46,590
It will be difficult. Some of us will
fall.
101
00:05:46,830 --> 00:05:49,410
But together, we will succeed.
102
00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:56,780
We will give them biscuits. We will give
them tea. We will give them guns.
103
00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:59,200
Or we will die trying.
104
00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:05,640
For he today that sheds his blood with
me shall be my brother.
105
00:06:06,100 --> 00:06:07,100
Yay!
106
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,160
Bravo!
107
00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:16,540
Bravo! Edmund, bring the flummery tar
right away.
108
00:06:17,870 --> 00:06:19,990
Now, does anybody have a question?
109
00:06:20,350 --> 00:06:22,850
Yeah, who do I talk to if I need
Thursday off?
110
00:06:28,090 --> 00:06:29,850
Buck! Buck, I say!
111
00:06:31,390 --> 00:06:32,450
The tarts.
112
00:06:35,190 --> 00:06:36,370
Cheers. Thanks, mate.
113
00:06:42,990 --> 00:06:44,530
Can nobody fix that?
114
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,120
I think the hinge is broken.
115
00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:51,440
Just leave it. It's easier to put stuff
in that way.
116
00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:53,680
See?
117
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,320
Happy as a clam.
118
00:06:56,780 --> 00:06:59,260
I told you I'll call when it's safe.
119
00:06:59,780 --> 00:07:02,940
Wait. What's going on with you?
120
00:07:03,260 --> 00:07:04,260
George is pretty.
121
00:07:04,740 --> 00:07:06,700
Oh, my God. Thank you.
122
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:10,600
Camilla, you should ask Mummy if she
wants to do Pilates with you.
123
00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:12,980
Yes, she would adore it.
124
00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:16,730
Mummy? Camilla's desperate for you to do
Pilates with her.
125
00:07:17,110 --> 00:07:19,070
You know when I'm available, Camilla?
126
00:07:19,450 --> 00:07:21,670
When fucking hell freezes over.
127
00:07:21,950 --> 00:07:24,510
How dare she say I need Pilates?
128
00:07:25,050 --> 00:07:27,010
She's going to think about it and give
back to you, darling.
129
00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:29,190
Flummery tart, ma 'am.
130
00:07:31,030 --> 00:07:32,970
I don't like this.
131
00:07:33,590 --> 00:07:37,330
But it's been your favourite for 90
years.
132
00:07:37,730 --> 00:07:42,770
Yeah, and I just got sick of it. Now
take it away. I never want to see it
133
00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:44,280
Of course, ma 'am.
134
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:45,380
Ah, fuck.
135
00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:50,540
If I ever see that tart again, you piece
of shit, we'll be serving tea out of
136
00:07:50,540 --> 00:07:53,820
your severed head. Do you understand me?
Yes, of course, ma 'am.
137
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:55,080
Apologies.
138
00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:58,560
I think he's doing a rather good job.
139
00:07:59,100 --> 00:08:00,100
Yes, bang on.
140
00:08:05,540 --> 00:08:06,920
Excuse me. Milk?
141
00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:08,300
Fuck off. Right.
142
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:09,800
Okay, Arby.
143
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,100
Milk? Go to hell, asshole.
144
00:08:12,830 --> 00:08:14,190
Aww, cute baby.
145
00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:15,450
Thanks.
146
00:08:21,990 --> 00:08:22,990
Milk?
147
00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:24,570
Milk?
148
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:26,750
Milk? End of aisle one.
149
00:08:27,530 --> 00:08:28,950
For your kindness, sir.
150
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,870
Um, okay.
151
00:08:32,169 --> 00:08:34,130
What'd he give you? Get away, it's mine!
152
00:08:36,230 --> 00:08:37,230
Fuck me.
153
00:08:37,289 --> 00:08:39,110
The whole aisle is a refrigerator.
154
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:45,680
So today it went, you know, OK.
155
00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:47,580
I think you did fabulous.
156
00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:49,600
Doesn't everyone think Douglas did
fabulous?
157
00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:50,820
Don't.
158
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:54,120
Now, first order of business, the
flummery tart.
159
00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:56,480
We don't need them ever again.
160
00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:58,940
She went off.
161
00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:02,500
So what do we do about those things down
there, then?
162
00:09:03,100 --> 00:09:04,100
Yeah.
163
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:08,720
Somebody needs to take care of that
whole situation.
164
00:09:10,149 --> 00:09:13,030
So, I'll leave that to somebody.
165
00:09:15,490 --> 00:09:16,490
Any other thoughts?
166
00:09:17,150 --> 00:09:18,630
Reminder, I'm not here Thursday.
167
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:19,850
I know!
168
00:09:21,690 --> 00:09:24,850
Hi, Kate, it's Megan. I was just
wondering if you've heard from Harry?
169
00:09:25,630 --> 00:09:26,630
Megan?
170
00:09:26,830 --> 00:09:29,450
Megan Markle, your sister -in -law.
171
00:09:30,230 --> 00:09:31,470
Oh, never mind, he's here.
172
00:09:31,750 --> 00:09:32,790
Wonderful, darling.
173
00:09:33,110 --> 00:09:34,110
Who was that?
174
00:09:34,530 --> 00:09:37,330
Megan. Some tosser gave her our number.
175
00:09:38,050 --> 00:09:39,170
Oh, sh...
176
00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:41,660
Don't miss her.
177
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:43,040
Where have you been?
178
00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:44,860
The most incredible thing happened.
179
00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:48,560
I found this place. You're not going to
believe it. Stacks and stacks of food as
180
00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:51,840
far as the eye could see. And people
just roaming the corridors taking it.
181
00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:53,019
Mm -hmm.
182
00:09:53,020 --> 00:09:54,020
So how was your audition?
183
00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:56,220
The show was canceled by the time I got
there.
184
00:09:56,500 --> 00:09:58,920
Well, we don't need you to work anyway
because I'm able to find this.
185
00:09:59,740 --> 00:10:00,900
Game on, America!
186
00:10:01,620 --> 00:10:06,440
Okay, well, you don't get paid for that,
but I'm super happy for you. You're
187
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,460
figuring things out, I guess.
188
00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:11,260
What happened to your ring? I gave it to
the working people.
189
00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:12,620
We're the working people!
190
00:10:14,060 --> 00:10:17,540
I'm sorry, I just, uh... I need a drink.
191
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:22,460
I don't know about this.
192
00:10:22,860 --> 00:10:24,280
It's like getting rid of mice.
193
00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:26,880
Okay. Right, that makes sense.
194
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:28,660
Mice.
195
00:10:28,820 --> 00:10:29,820
They're like mice.
196
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:31,280
Very humane.
197
00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:32,820
Good. Good.
198
00:10:39,950 --> 00:10:40,950
Holy shit!
199
00:10:48,530 --> 00:10:49,610
Ah, that's done.
200
00:10:50,530 --> 00:10:53,470
So, what are the big plans for this day?
201
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:07,670
Ugh, people keep sending me stuff.
202
00:11:07,970 --> 00:11:09,920
It's... Literally never -ending.
203
00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:12,140
Hey, do you want a jar of La Mer?
204
00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:15,900
I would love a jar. I'm kidding. These
are like 500 pounds.
205
00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:18,160
Okay, let's go over my day tomorrow.
206
00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:22,340
You have school and nap and snack, Your
Royal Highness.
207
00:11:22,580 --> 00:11:24,720
Okay, I'll need reminder texts for all
of those.
208
00:11:25,180 --> 00:11:29,220
Really good job lately, O. You've been
crushing it. And you have a play date
209
00:11:29,220 --> 00:11:30,460
later this week, sir.
210
00:11:30,700 --> 00:11:32,540
Why am I just hearing about this now?
211
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:36,560
It's been on your schedule for weeks,
sir. I'm not in the mood for one of your
212
00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:37,860
excuses, so spare me.
213
00:11:40,060 --> 00:11:41,320
First, we'll need a theme.
214
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:45,880
Start thinking Truman Capote's Black and
White Ball. Oh, here I am doing all the
215
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:46,920
work again. Big surprise.
216
00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:50,740
And I want the guest list kept very
exclusive. Do you understand me?
217
00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:51,899
Of course.
218
00:11:51,900 --> 00:11:53,900
If Charlotte shows up, so help me God.
219
00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:55,760
You know what?
220
00:11:55,860 --> 00:11:57,320
This is going to be fun, O.
221
00:11:57,620 --> 00:12:01,120
I have no doubt with you hosting, it
will be the party of the decade, sir.
222
00:12:01,460 --> 00:12:02,680
Aw, thanks, Owen.
223
00:12:03,020 --> 00:12:04,960
I feel bad about before now.
224
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,440
You could have that jar of La Mer if you
want.
225
00:12:08,219 --> 00:12:10,200
The one that's cracked in half, not the
good one.
15390
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