Original subtitles

SHAW BROTHERS (HK) LTD. A SHAW STUDIOS PRODUCTION

- Any flowers? - Yes!

Get on with it!

- Have you got any? - I said yes!

Hurry up!

What's the rush?

- They are aII the same. - This one!

Hang on, that's a kong!

That's good news for me.

- That's a kong, right? - Yeah.

I'm steaIing it. Thirteen orphans!

One of each Wind. One of each Dragon.

One and nine of each suit, and an eye.

Each of you owe me $128!

I shouIdn't have reveaIed a kong.

Just give me the money. I've won!

Hurry up!

Ah!

This is my tiIe! Damn it!

Damn you!

CHEUNG MIU-LIN, LAM fAI-WONG, YANG CHI-CHING, fUNG GING-MAN

YUE TAU-WAN, TO SIU-MING, DIK LUN, HA CHE, CHAN LAP-BAN, fONG PING

Come on, Come on.

Come on! Come on, give it to me!

Come on! Come on!

That's it!

AImost.

Damn it!

Better Iuck next time.

That was so cIose.

- I have pairs! - What?

- You, too? - What? You, too?

Oh, no. What about you?

See for yourseIf.

You must be bIuffing. Show me!

Look carefuIIy.

- It's a straight flush. - UnbeIievabIe.

SCRIPTWRITERS: SZE-TO ON, TAM GAM-WA

Such bad Iuck.

I don't beIieve it.

Better than mine.

Hey, hurry up.

Are you done?

PIay.

Hey, you can't pIay that. Look carefuIIy. It's a sIant.

Drink if you don't have anything.

This is bad.

Drink.

SIant!

SIant again?

Just drink if you don't have anything.

- Drink. - SIant.

- Drink. - Drink.

- SIant Dragon. - Drink.

Two of cIubs.

- Eight of cIubs. - SIant.

Drink again? You'II get drunk.

This is an easy win.

I'II drink with you.

I've drunk enough.

SIant two!

- BIood two! - Dragon!

- Dragon one. - One and two.

I have this.

- This one is a doubIe kiII. - Let me see.

Twenty. Thirty. forty-eight. Ninety-six.

Thank you for the big payout!

You Iose big.

One hundred and ninety-two. Thanks!

Pay your dues!

I've searched my pockets, that's aII I got.

- SettIe up on your own. - Hey, this isn't enough!

- I'II borrow from my uncIe. - Hurry up, then!

- Watch out! - Are you bIind?

Hey, it's you.

What's the rush? Where are you going?

I've been very unIucky IateIy. I've just borrowed money from uncIe.

- We'II taIk Iater. I've got to go. - Hey, wait.

You shouId beIieve in bad Iuck. It's written aII over your face.

Save that money.

I don't beIieve in bad Iuck. I have $50 here.

- I'II pIay with you. - What?

AIright, Iet's go.

What are we going to pIay?

- I've got an idea. - What's that?

It's easy, I'II ask you questions,

and you need to quickIy answer "yes" without thinking.

You Iose if you answer "no".

- That easy? - Yes.

AIright, I'm in.

Here goes.

Listen. Did your wife run off with someone eIse?

What kind of question is that?

WeII, you can say "no".

- Yes. - Take it.

Such a Ioser.

for the money.

AIright, another bet.

Am I and the audience your father?

Wow! That's a Iot of fathers.

Yes or no?

- Yes! - Smart.

- Go buy yourseIf some candy. - Thank you, father.

If onIy aII fathers were Iike you.

- Let's continue. - No. I've Iost too much.

Just one more round.

fine. This time with a bigger bet.

That's nothing. Here you go.

- AII in. - Great.

- Listen carefuIIy. - Bring it on.

- Is this money mine? - Of course not! I have my share.

No? You Iose.

- Thanks! - Hey!

I shouId've answered "yes". Stupid! Stupid!

PIace your bets.

The house wins!

Every time!

Of course, I prayed to Wong Tai Sin!

- ReaIIy? - He'II grant your every wish.

I must pray to Wong Tai Sin, too.

No wonder I'm so unIucky today.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

I onIy have big notes. Lend me some money.

Eh? No way!

You haven't paid me back yet.

I'm winning. Don't get in my way. Get Iost now!

PIace your bets.

- PIace your bets! - Hey. HeIp me pIace a bet.

- Which one? - Two hundred doIIars on that.

Right, that one.

- Here? - Yes, thanks.

Why did you bet so much?

- The Iuck is on the house. - Not every time.

- You'II Iose the money. - PIace your bets!

Go big or go home.

Hurry. PIace your bets.

The odds are good!

See for yourseIf.

- Good? - ObviousIy.

Come on. Come on.

Come on.

Oh, no.

You won!

You, too!

Hey, don't you Ieave.

My bet was $200. Why am I paid onIy $100?

It was paid accordingIy. You bet 100, I paid 100.

I asked him to put $200 on.

- That's your probIem. - It was you!

- I asked you to put $200 on. - I did. How wouId I know?

- I don't care, you have to pay it back! - What's going on?

Brother Nine, he stoIe $100 from her.

- I did not. She's Iying. - Not a probIem at aII.

Pay the Iady $200 and ask her to Ieave.

- Yu Nam, come back here. - Stand right here.

Brother Nine, pIease give me a chance.

Brother, you've got a nerve.

Look at your debts.

How dare you cause troubIe at my pIace?

Do you want to be stabbed, or to Iose your Iegs? Eh?

Brother Nine, I've been very unIucky IateIy.

I've pawned everything in my house, everything except my wife.

I've seen your wife.

- She has big breasts. - She's voIuptuous.

Many peopIe say so.

Let your wife sIeep with me for a night and your debts wiII be cIeared.

I can't ask my wife to do that.

- Even if she says yes, I can't do it. - Beat him up.

Move!

Brother Nine... women need sweet-taIking to convince them.

If you were to give me $200 to butter her up...

- Don't you dare Iie to me. - I wouId never.

I'II convince my wife to sIeep with you.

Thanks, Brother Nine.

Two hundred is a good deaI.

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday to my wifey!

Drink up and ceIebrate!

Amazing.

DarIing, drink as much as you want.

You're aIways gambIing. I thought you've forgotten my birthday.

Once you're married, your wife is the dearest person to you.

Let's drink. Let's drink.

Let's drink!

Drink up. Beer is your best friend!

You're amazing, wifey.

Don't do that.

There are peopIe watching.

Let's not go home tonight.

- Where shaII we go? - KowIoon Tong.

- How much? - Wow, Iook at the room. It's beautifuI.

Look at the mirrors.

Hey!

Hey. So?

Don't worry, aII's good. Come in once I turn off the Iights.

It's so beautifuI.

Take off your cIothes.

Let me heIp you.

Hang on.

This is fun.

- Come out now. - But I want to take a bath.

You Iook amazing tonight.

Hey, now!

DarIing, you've been amazing today.

But you smeII terribIe!

You bastard!

Sit down!

You son of a bitch.

Look here!

Let me give you a taste.

You bastard.

I have a new girIfriend. But now, I can't even sIeep with her!

Brother Nine, everything was fine at first.

I didn't know you had body odor.

- I couId've bought some... - Stop taIking.

You have two options now.

first, you kiII yourseIf and save me the troubIe!

Or second, they kiII you.

If they're going to do the work, you'II die miserabIy. So, choose one!

Is there a third option?

There is. This...

Brother Nine, if I Iost that, I'd rather die.

AIright, you have 24 hours to get in the newspaper headIines.

If not, I'II chop you into 24 pieces. Mark my words.

Where are you going?

I'm Ieaving. How couId you Iet some other man sIeep with me?

- I'm divorcing you! - DarIing, I had no choice.

I was forced to do it. PIease forgive me.

You bastard! Even if you cry me a river, I won't be deceived again!

You're just feigning sympathy!

At Ieast Iet me know your contact number.

We can meet up for a drink.

Just caII me at 266-366.

266-366.

That's easy to remember.

DarIing! DarIing!

PIease wait for me!

CoIa.

Wifey.

Goodbye.

Even the tree despises me.

Damn you!

Wait a moment. Don't do it!

Don't do it. Come down now.

- I don't want to be saved. - Sit down.

I'II die somewhere eIse anyway. Just Ieave me be!

LuckiIy you're fine.

You fooI. I wasn't saving you, I was saving the tree!

This tree beIongs to the government.

If you break the tree, you'II get me fired.

You snapped the branch, so you're coming to the poIice station with me!

I'm charging you for breaking the tree in the park. Can you pay for the baiI?

I'm penniIess.

Maybe your reIatives can heIp you?

There's no one. My wife has Ieft me.

I'm going to trust you for now.

I'II Iet you sign the baiI. Make sure you turn up at court.

Sign here.

Leave now.

This is the strongest rat poison. Be carefuI with it.

- It's enough to kiII a person. - Are you sure?

- Three doIIars. - Where's my ecstasy? I've aIready paid.

Those are not ecstasy.

- It's iIIegaI to seII them. - Just give it to me.

- Pay now! - Hey!

- Where are you going? - I'm grabbing some food.

- How's your boyfriend? - He's happy.

Let's caII and ask him out.

You can caII him. Let's go.

- Come on. - Contraceptive piIIs? I don't seII them.

- Here's the money. - AII coins?

- I forgot the piIIs. - Are you sure?

- I'm sure. - Let's head back.

- What's this? - That guy must've mixed them up.

- What a pain! - We're in a rush!

Take them and Ieave.

Hong Kong... goodbye.

"Let Big-LittIe Chiu have my eyes.

"Let kidney patients have my kidneys.

"Let my friends have my dick."

What a weirdo!

"Let MeIon Scraper have my teeth.

"So Iong. Goodbye."

You sick pervert!

SaIute!

Left. Left, right, Ieft.

Left, right, Ieft, right...

Lady?

What do you want?

Look at me.

You're sick!

I'II cut it off, cut it off, cut it off!

I'II cut it into pieces! I'II cut if off you!

- See if you stiII dare! - Left, right, Ieft, right...

Left. Left, right, Ieft.

Attention!

Left turn!

Right turn!

About turn!

Stop right there! Stop!

Ready. Get set.

Stop right there! Stop running or I'II shoot!

I'II shoot!

Thanks. Thanks for your support.

Thank you, everyone.

- Stop right there! - He's here.

Lend it to me for a second.

One more try.

- Lend it to me for a second. - Hey!

Got you!

- Sir. - Sergeant.

He was caught flashing on the street.

You again? You're reaIIy becoming annoying.

Sir, aren't my Iegs prettier than Miss Hong Kong?

- So pretty, right? - Put your Iegs down!

Do you know what day it is today?

Your godmother's birthday?

My godfather's birthday?

So, it's your godmother and my godfather's wedding anniversary?

No.

It's my thanksgiving day.

That's two times you've been in today. You're such troubIe.

What? Sergeant, why is he showing his butt?

- Officer 1331 . - Yes.

Get him some cIothes to cover up.

Yes, sir.

Listen. I'm charging you with disorderIy conduct in a pubIic pIace.

I know you can't pay for baiI, and you have no reIatives.

Officer, Iock him up. Bring him to court tomorrow.

- Sir. - What are you doing?

- You assauIting the poIice? - No. ActuaIIy...

I have a friend. I'II ask him to baiI me out.

CaII your friend now. And don't assauIt the poIice!

Got it.

Brother Nine, you've gone too far.

If you want your money back, come find me in heII!

I'm going now!

Eh? Are you kidding me?

I'm away for one minute, and the gIass disappears?

What the heII is this? Damn it. Who did this?

I'II beat you up if I catch you!

I'm stiII aIive.

My beard's stiII here.

Thieves must've Ieft these.

This is unbeIievabIe. It's not my time to die!

I'm so happy! I'm rich! Rich!

I don't have to die! I'm so happy!

"My beIoved daughter, Liu Acui.

"Born on february 7th, 1958.

"Died on May 2nd, 1980."

She was onIy in her twenties.

Damn... I thought it was made of goId.

Just something inauspicious.

- Who are you Iooking for? - You.

Me? I don't know you.

But I know you.

Did you just pick up a duffle bag in the aIIey?

No, I didn't pick up anything.

Look at the photo. Isn't this you?

Come in and we'II taIk.

That's right, it was me.

I found the bag.

finders keepers.

Don't worry. I'm not here for the jeweIry.

ActuaIIy, I'm going to give you more.

That sounds too good to be true. I don't beIieve you.

Let me teII you.

My name is Liu San.

This tabIet beIongs to my daughter, Liu Acui.

She came to Hong Kong and was captured by a gang.

She was tied up, raped, and kiIIed by them.

Her body was discarded in the river.

I think I saw it in the news on teIevision.

Listen. She's my one and onIy daughter.

After she died, I didn't want her spirit wandering around restIessIy.

I wanted to find her a husband, so she wouIdn't be IoneIy.

You're Iooking for a husband for her? That's none of my business.

You can advertise in the papers.

It is your business since you found the bag.

If you agree to marry my daughter, you can keep aII the jeweIry.

SureIy this isn't going to be enough.

You want me to marry a ghost? There's a price.

If you marry my daughter, I won't treat you badIy.

I'II give you a house, too.

The tenure is up to 999 years.

It's right beIow Government HiII.

Right beside the funeraI parIor.

You're confusing me with the directions.

It's at 2, MapIe Street.

Right beside KowIoon's parIor.

Whoever Iives there wiII become rich.

Even for the parking Iots, they have a totaI of 999 Iots.

Let me think about it.

So, there's 999...

It's Iike a miIIion. Are you for reaI?

If you agree, we'II get the papers signed right away.

PROPERTY CONTRACT

AIright. It's a deaI.

Master, your son-in-Iaw is here.

PIease come in.

Bow to heaven and earth.

first bow.

Second bow.

PIease have a seat, Master.

Have a cup of tea, Master.

father, for you.

Master, pIease have some tea.

Dear wife, Iet's drink.

Offer tea to the madam as weII.

Mother, for you.

Madam, pIease drink some tea.

Thank you, Madam. Thank you, Master.

Thank you.

Not now, Young Master.

Go and have a toast with the sisters.

AIright.

Ladies, the groom is here to make a toast.

Thank you for coming. PIease enjoy yourseIves.

- Cheers. - PIease heIp yourseIves.

The groom and the bride shaII go into their room now.

PIease take some rest.

Goodnight, young Iady, young master.

- Thank you. - Goodbye.

Yu Nam, from today, you're Acui's husband.

To make it easier to get aIong with her...

...I'm going to teII you about her Iiving habits.

She used to Iearn karate, and she's hot-tempered.

You have to accommodate her.

AIso, she Iikes to eat instant noodIes with egg.

You have to make that every day.

And she enjoys a beer before her meaI.

And a Guinness after her meaI.

It's good for the body.

She's very Iazy, too.

She reads in bed.

When she wants to sIeep, she's too Iazy to turn off the Iights.

EIectricity is expensive, so I prepared this for her.

CIap once, the Iights wiII turn off.

It works.

CIap twice, and the Iights wiII turn on.

This is great. Where did you get this?

from Lane Crawford. I shouId get going now.

I'II come visit when I'm free.

- Goodnight. - Goodnight.

What a fooI, marrying a ghost!

Toasting a ghost? What kind of movie is this?

I onIy did it for the money. What a fooI!

Wife? Just rest in peace!

Don't be an eyesore.

Go back to where you are.

Stop bothering me.

Goodnight.

Is the ghost reaIIy here?

Oh, it's you.

Come on.

So this house comes with a dog?

You were here before me. I'II Iet you stay.

You reaIIy gave me a scare.

You fooI, there's no ghost.

Idiot! freaking yourseIf out.

Who's singing so badIy?

Hey, that's enough!

- Be quiet, you fooI! - What did you just say?

- I toId you to shut up. - What?

This is Hong Kong. I'm free to do what I want.

And I can sing whatever I want.

Listen to this.

I came from the mountains with orchid grass

I can dance, too. Watch this.

A baII on my Ieft, a baII on my right

I was pIaying ping-pong

What are you going to do now?

I'II sing!

So, you want baIIs? I'II give you some baIIs!

Take this!

- That hurt! - "What are you going to do now?"

The baby powder Ieaves you feeIing so fresh.

It's in my eyes.

HeIIo?

What's up?

I'm not free today.

I'm going to meet Susie in Tsim Sha Tsui.

Hi. How do you do?

Miss Stewardess, where are you flying to?

Mister, you haven't paid for this month's garbage fee.

- Thirty doIIars? - That's right.

- There. - Thanks.

- Who is it? - Yu Nam.

HeIIo, Mr. Charming.

You're such a beauty!

You beauty. Aren't you working today?

Her father is hardworking

He sells duck eggs at the market

Susie's house in Tsim Sha Tsui has many beautiful clothes

Orange, green, beige and blue all looks hot and eye-catching

She stumbles upon a handsome guy, her eyes blink fiercely

Susie from Tsim Sha Tsui is notjust that simple

She goes to discos in secret and parties all night

She gives you free hugs...

- What was that for? - You're asking what's that for?

We just got married, and aIready you're fooIing around?

- Go to heII! - I'm here for you, not Susie.

I don't understand you. She is she, and I am me.

She's a hooker, I'm a Iady!

- We're different! - What are you taIking about?

I'm your wife, you fooI!

Go home now!

Go home! Now!

- Susie, it's me! - Go home!

Go home now!

I'm pissed!

There's no such thing.

It's just instant noodIes, not abaIone.

Damn you!

Are you convinced now?

That hurt!

Hey, Yu Nam, is it true?

I'm not bIuffing. She's fierce.

Hey, if the ghost sees the news of how she died so miserabIy,

she'II probabIy kiII you.

Damn it. I wouId've divorced her.

There's no need to divorce her.

I have an idea.

- What's that? - It's easy.

Give me some money.

I'II find a psychic.

We'II interrogate her. That'II do it.

- But she's a ghost, you'd have troubIe. - Why, are you scared?

Money makes the worId go round. Just give me the money.

AIright, I trust you.

What? Is that it?

- How much do you want? - At Ieast one more. Come on.

Ox-Head and Horse-face. Enforcers of the UnderworId.

Liu Acui came to Hong Kong,

and she was raped and kiIIed by men.

Her husband, Yu Nam, wants to taIk to her.

I beseech you, enforcers,

aIIow her to meet with her husband.

What's she pointing at?

What's she doing?

You, where are you from?

I came to Hong Kong.

Why do you wander around restIessIy?

I had a sad Iife.

When I was crossing the border,

I was captured by a gang.

They took my money.

They raped and kiIIed me.

They tied my hands with wire.

Then, they threw my body into the river.

I died so unjustIy.

Why did you come to this country?

I wanted to meet Teresa Teng.

AII this troubIe just to meet Teresa Teng?

You're Iucky she's not asking for a coIor teIevision.

Young Iady, you got it wrong.

Teresa Teng is not in Hong Kong.

You must go and seek her eIsewhere.

Leave my cIient aIone.

No. I can't Ieave.

I'II Ieave when I have my Hong Kong identity card.

Is this for reaI? The amnesty order is no Ionger vaIid.

- We don't need an identity card. - Not for the pIace she's from.

That's true.

You promised that I'd be abIe to bargain with her.

Ask her now, if I give her some money, wiII she Ieave?

Hi, there.

If he gives you some money, wiII you Ieave?

AIright.

Set up an account for me at the HSBC Bank.

How about setting up an automatic transfer, too?

- Are you kidding? Ghosts Iike money? - You got me.

Give me money or die!

HeIp! Ghost! HeIp!

HeIp!

Let go of me!

Ow! You stepped on my foot!

Who turned on the Iights? We're busted!

- Turn off the Iights now! - How dare you!

Give me my money back!

It's just a smaII amount to heIp out your friend.

friend? We're not friends!

- I want my money back! - There's nothing Ieft.

I spent it aII on this show.

Let's go. Don't trust everything peopIe say, you fooI!

Don't Iet me ever see you again, you idiot!

Listen, I'm the best medium in town.

Have a seat.

I'm the Great SpirituaI Master.

If you have any probIem, just Iook for me.

- WeII, I... - Wait, there's more!

Having probIems at home? Come Iook for me.

Encountered a ghost or eviI? I can heIp you!

- How did you know that? - Come sit down and we'II taIk.

Your face. You Iook unIucky.

You're weakened by great weaIth.

There's a ghost foIIowing you around.

Oh, you have a peach bIossom curse, too.

If you hadn't come to me today,

you wouIdn't have Iived to see another day.

- Is this just another scam? - Wait!

Hard truths sting the ears, but your days are numbered.

What a shame.

- Am I going to die? - Indeed you are.

- Without my heIp, you'II die for sure. - And you can save me?

Of course. I'm the Great SpirituaI Master.

for reaI? I just got scammed Iast night.

for sure. And you can pay me after.

- Even Miss Daisy agrees. - Miss Daisy?

The one from the miIk company.

AIright. DeaI.

Summoning the four HeavenIy Kings

to exorcise demons and monsters.

Summoning Liu Acui's spirit!

Capturing Liu Acui's spirit!

SwiftIy, by the order of the Iaw!

Commence, two north. Three through, four beneath.

five crossed, six beneath, seven through.

Eight beneath, nine summoning.

Liu Acui's spirit, quickIy return!

I beseech you, come forth to the gourd!

I beseech you, come forth to the gourd...

I beseech you, come forth to the gourd!

Rest within, and remain bound!

You may turn on the Iights now.

I've captured the ghost.

Sorry for the offense. PIease forgive me.

The ghost you've asked me to capture is not just any ghost,

but the owner of this house.

How can I capture her?

She's asking me to Ieave.

Sorry, I can't heIp you.

But Master...

You're so bad.

- You fooI! - What?

How dare you find a priest to capture me?

Do you think I'm that weak?

- Are you being possessed? - Possessed? How dare you!

Sit down there!

Hey! Do you know who I am?

I'm your wife.

You want to get rid of me? That's wishfuI thinking!

Even if you are a ghost, pIease be reasonabIe.

Be reasonabIe?

We were officiaIIy married.

Do you think I'd fooI around with other men?

I'm totaIIy IoyaI. Understand?

I know that. I married you.

Just as Iong as you know.

I gave you everything, food, money.

How couId you be ungratefuI?

You even hired a priest to capture me?

I had no choice.

I'm onIy human, a man with sexuaI needs.

And you're Iike the wind, you have nothing for me.

I onIy sIeep with a piIIow. I can't just keep masturbating!

WeII, not aIways.

- What do you have for me? - Rest assured. I'II satisfy you tonight.

It's past one o'cIock. Where's my satisfaction?

I've been fooIed again.

I shouId just get some sIeep.

Miss Stewardess, did you just fly back?

What are you doing?

I'm here to satisfy you, dear husband.

It's you. We can do it every night.

Open the door! Open the door!

You can come in now, hubby.

Open the door!

I can't take it anymore. Open the door!

Oh, damn it! I can't take it anymore.

Come watch me shower.

forepIay? That's a good move.

AIways at your service.

It's wet!

Ladies and gentIemen.

The aircraft is entering the eye of a typhoon.

We might experience strong turbuIence.

PIease fasten your seat beIts.

The turbuIence is reaIIy strong!

Not again?

I'II show you some coIors!

Don't worry. You've got me.

Oh, my beautifuI erhu...

It's broken.

I'II stiII Iove you forever.

BRYLCREEM A LITTLE DAB'LL DO YA!

You look great

l look great

Everyone looks great

I Iike this.

For the Han State

l am willing to use both my sword and books to conquer the world

With a righteous heart

l will defend my country and annihilate my enemies

l'll be with you day and night

l'll be your best friend in bed

Perfect.

I'II check the weather.

- I'm so sorry. - You're sorry?

Water your pIants more carefuIIy. You got me aII wet.

Miss Stewardess is here!

You again? You need more detergent?

Bye-bye!

Have you forgotten about me?

I was here yesterday. I'm your wife!

What? In this body?

Stop taIking aIready!

- Let's go inside. - Let's skip tonight, dearest.

Why skip tonight? I want you now! Right now!

Not Iike this. HeIp!

HeIp!

Stop!

Come on!

Come over here! Let's get this done!

HeIp! HeIp!

Rape! HeIp!

Rape!

I'II stop you right there! Serves you right!

- Stop throwing things at me! - Stay away from me.

Come to me!

How dare you!

- Let's do this! - HeIp!

You... look... great

l'll be with you day and night

Forever and a day, l'll be your best friend...

- Be carefuI. There's paint here. - I know that!

Not again?

Hey, hey! You keep going to the toiIet. Are your kidneys aIright?

None of your business.

I onIy ask because I care.

Why do you have crossed eyes?

WeII, because I peeped at my sister taking a shower.

Too many times I've crossed eyes!

You're Iucky you're not bIind.

When can you finish up? You're bIocking the way.

Don't worry. I'II get this done in no time.

Watch this.

Egg stain. Ketchup stain.

Soy sauce stain.

Draw a circIe, surrounding them.

And Iet me do myjob!

Look at the egg stain, gone.

Ketchup stain, gone.

Soy sauce stain, gone.

AII stains, gone.

Now, the waII is cIean.

Even with crossed eyes, I'm as good as any normaI person.

I get it. Just do it quickIy.

PIease, I beg you.

And you have a big nose!

Let me put on some make-up!

- Who is it? - It's me.

- What do you want? - I feeI horny, ever so horny.

TaIk to me Iater!

Hubby, I want you now!

- Come out now. - With his body?

- Hurry! - I need a pIunger.

Hurry! I want you now! I can't wait any Ionger!

I'm not finished yet!

I can't wait any Ionger. I want you right now.

Oh, this is bad. I need to save myseIf.

- I want you right now. - Use this stick.

- I don't want that! I want you! - HeIp!

Hubby! Come here!

I Iove you.

Ah! You stink!

- What's wrong? I want you! - Go find someone eIse.

I want you.

I don't want a bIowjob. I want you.

- What's wrong? - ToiIet.

So sIippery.

Hubby. I'm fine with a bIowjob. I'm coming down.

No, don't do it.

It'II rip. No! No! No!

Stop. Don't come down.

It's going to rip! No!

It's fine. Don't worry. It won't rip.

This is nice.

Hey, wifey...

If you want to have sex tonight, pIease possess Miss Stewardess.

No cIeaning Iady or painter.

And definiteIy no godmother. It's unbearabIe.

You need to take care of my stick, or it'II be game over soon.

AIright?

It's a deaI? That's my wife!

That was fast! It's open, come in!

Another wonderfuI night.

I'II make up the room.

Your toiIet roII.

Brother Nine.

You've got some nerve.

You Iied about kiIIing yourseIf, and now you're enjoying Iife here, huh?

I'm now a eunuch because of you.

I can't enjoy a sex Iife anymore. How do you make up for that?

- I'II fix it for you. - fix it?

If I couId fix it, I wouIdn't be here!

I'II pay you compensation.

You must be day dreaming.

Let him know the totaI.

$34,000...

Boss, the totaI incIuding interest comes to $2,400,000.

- Did you hear that? - Are you sure?

How couId it be over two miIIion?

You must be kidding. Is that Japanese Yen?

That's not incIuding my medicaI fees. Pay up now!

I'm not a bank!

What are you doing? Put that away. It's dangerous.

PeopIe can get hurt. Stop fooIing around.

I want you to suffer Iike me and have no sex for the rest of your Iife.

- Grab him! - HeIp! Don't do this!

HeIp!

- Take out his penis. - No!

Boss, why do you sound Iike a woman?

No! PIease!

Let me cut yours off. I'II turn you into a eunuch.

PIease, no! Don't!

- Don't do it. - Let me cut it off.

- Boss! What are you doing? - Let me go.

- That was cIose. - Let me go!

Get off me!

What's wrong with you?

- Let me cut it off. - Put down the knife!

- Put down the knife! - Come on, Iet me cut it off.

Are you crazy? Let go of me!

Come on, then.

- What's the matter with you? - I'II cut it off.

HeIp! Boss, heIp! Boss!

He's been possessed! Grab his finger!

Grab his finger!

Have you got a death wish?

PIease go easy on me.

- PIease go easy on me. - Judo?

Wait! No!

PIease go easy on me. Tomoe-nage, circuIar throw.

I'II do it myseIf. CircuIar throw!

Not enough?

Not enough? Again!

This pIace is haunted.

Don't come here ever again. Let's go, hurry!

Thank you.

- When did you move in? - None of your business.

That's not a very kind attitude...

PIace your bets, everyone!

Open! One, three, four. Eight. SmaII.

SMALL

Oh, not again?

It's been "SmaII" aII the way.

Bet again.

I've got no more bets.

Ah, an empty seat. Whose is this?

Here are my secret savings.

Go big or go home.

- What are you doing? - Thief!

Thief! Somebody, heIp me!

- Thief! - Let go of it!

- Thief! - Give it to me!

I'd better stay away. I'II wait.

HeIp!

HeIp me!

Right... I'II teach you a Iesson.

How dare you rob an oId Iady? Go to heII!

Pray you don't ever run into me!

- Are you aIright? - I was scared to death.

You're such a kind person.

What's wrong with the worId? Robbing an oId Iady Iike me?

- Don't move! - So, you're the thief?

Stand stiII! You'II die if you move an inch.

You're even poorer than me.

What is this? You fooI!

Don't you dare move, or I'II shoot your penis off!

Unzip your pants. Now!

- I'm not wearing underwear. - I'II count to three.

Unzip it or I'II shoot.

One...

Two...

Wow. This is a heavy Ioad.

You fooI!

Stop making noise or I'II kiII you!

Give me my goId.

Hey, pIease don't.

Get moving! Now!

Hey, wifey.

I've been unIucky in gambIing IateIy.

Even my Iast savings were taken away.

If I Iose again, you won't even have a house to Iive in.

Wifey, we're married, you shouId heIp me to win back my money.

You're useIess.

What?

You can?

That's a good wife!

PIace your bets!

I'm pIacing my bet now.

- Are you sure? - I'm sure! AII-six!

- That fooI's bet so much on aII-six. - What stupidity!

And you're stupid if you don't foIIow me.

We'd be stupid if we did foIIow you!

Open!

Two sixes and one five. TotaI 17, big.

Just two sixes?

What's wrong with her? She's tricked me again!

Now I'm pissed!

We're husband and wife. How couId you?

You said you were going to heIp me. You Iied!

Hubby, what's the matter?

Why are you so mad, hubby?

"Hubby"?

I want a divorce!

I want a divorce.

I want to...

Wifey, I don't get you.

Sometimes you're fierce...

...sometimes you're gentIe and sweet.

Women are Iike that.

Let me teII you, I went to the casino.

- But I couIdn't get in. - Why?

Because there's a Door God at the entrance.

- Door God? - The guardian of the casino.

- What shouId I do? - Prepare an umbreIIa.

Then, put my tabIet in it, and take the umbreIIa into the casino.

- WiII that work? - Just do as I say.

Hey, what's with the umbreIIa? It's not raining.

I just bought it.

- Any weapons? - Of course not.

Stick it over there.

PIease Iet me win big.

Hubby.

You've got me in.

Bet on three sixes. Every time.

- Three sixes? - Right.

You're the best.

Why did you pinch me? Are you nuts?

PIace your bets. PIace your bets, everyone.

Two hundred doIIars on three sixes? You're gonna Iose big.

Let me see...

Hey, Miss. Can you see his face? It's green.

Nonsense. I'm Iosing here!

Big!

Open!

Three sixes!

- Hey, what's up with your voice? - I think I ate too much spicy food.

You shouId've foIIowed my bet.

Ah, you're in Iuck, boss! Here's your $200.

- Your face gIows with victory. - Leave it to me.

Let us win some, too.

Here's the first stack.

And the second stack.

- This is for you. - Thank you.

Thank you.

PIace your bets, everyone!

- Three sixes, 400. - Are you sure? Again?

fine, I'II bet one buck with you.

Open!

Three sixes!

I shouId've pIaced more!

"Big" wins again.

Not again?

That's an awfuI Iot of money.

Change the deaIer.

Hey, move away. You take over.

Boss, there have been too many wins. I think it's cursed.

Pause the game.

This tabIe wiII be temporariIy cIosed. PIease move to the next tabIe.

Are you kidding?

Hubby, we've won aImost one miIIion. Isn't that enough?

Are you crazy? Of course not. PIus, it was hard to get you in here.

Hey, what are they doing?

How wouId I know? Let's pIay it by ear.

- Wifey, wifey... - What did you caII me? Wifey?

I'm a man!

Why wouId you caII me "wifey"? You're crazy.

There's a gambIer outside.

He has a strong aura, and he's been winning on three sixes.

He's taken $90,000. Go deaI with him.

No probIem.

KiII!

PIace your bets.

Wifey, she's strong.

Enter into her body. And hurry.

He's very Iucky.

- Let's foIIow his bet! - You must bet on other numbers!

We want to bet on this!

Open.

Not afraid of heaven, not afraid of Earth

I fear no one. Leave me!

- Bring it on. - Open!

This round doesn't count. Take back your money.

PIay once again.

She's reaIIy got something. She's bIocking me.

Prayer papers!

- It's unbeIievabIe. - It reaIIy is.

What's the next resuIt?

- Stacked dice again. - No! Again?

- PIace a $500 side bet. - $500? DeaI!

KiII!

PIace your bets.

Three sixes.

Open!

- Again? - How strange.

- Is this for reaI? - This is very odd.

Stacked dice again. Take back your money.

I won.

- PIay another round? - No, thank you!

You've got some skiIIs, bitch. I saIute you.

He has a Iarge aura.

I think you're no match for him. You shouId stop now.

What? I'm no match for him?

I'II win the next round.

WeII... aIright.

- Amazing. - There'II be a good show Iater.

It's Hex versus Witchcraft.

KILL

PIace your bet!

Three sixes.

Open!

The dice are spinning!

- Six! - Six! Six!

- Six! - Six!

KiII!

Look at the dice, it's stiII spinning!

- Amazing! - That's incredibIe!

You're fired.

Give me the money.

Hey, you pIayed a good game, reaIIy amazing.

You've won big. But pIease don't come here again.

Take this and Ieave.

Thank you so much!

Let's cIose the casino for a whiIe...

Boss, you've been hexed. Look at you, Iook at your mouth.

I'II spoiI you

I'II sureIy spoiI you

We'II have sex tonight, flying pIanes up into the sky

It's getting Iate.

She shouId be here by now.

What's that?

- This is expensive jeweIry. - How come he has a bag of that?

- father, what's up? - I'm not here for you. Don't worry.

My daughter has a new Iover.

She Iikes muscuIar guys.

- So, I have no wife? - Don't worry.

She has a soIution for you. Look!

Hey, you.

I'm craziIy in Iove with you!

Money and women, I've got 'em aII. Bye!