Original subtitles

Oh.

You know, Zena, I'm really looking forward to spending time with you.

Just you and me.

While no one's trying to kill us right now.

I know, Gabrielle. But to have someone hustling local villagers or cards?

It's just like a total kiss, man.

We need to go check it out.

I know.

I know you're right.

I'm just disappointed.

We'll have our time, Gabrielle. Don't worry.

Come on.

I don't think we should play another hand.

We just can't afford to lose anymore.

She's right. Our husbands will be quite angry with us.

Ladies.

Ladies, you can't afford to stop playing now.

I couldn't possibly win another round.

Come on.

I'll give you both two to one odds on the next hand.

You know, I think my luck is changing.

Mine too. I think you're in trouble this time, Metallicus.

I hope I am.

What are the odds, ladies?

I'm sorry.

That's unbelievable. You must have won like 10 amps in a row.

It's more like 13, but that's irrelevant.

Time to pay up.

But we don't have anything left.

But with the gods as our witnesses, we will pay you. It'll just take some time.

There's no credit here, lady.

Looks like we're going to have to go talk to your husband.

Wait! Isn't there something we could do?

What do you have in mind?

Well... Maybe we could...

Work off our debt.

If you're thinking what I'm thinking, I think we have a deal.

Yeah.

You girls smell so clean.

Even though we're doing a little chorus. Oh, yeah.

A dirty little bar went.

Yes.

Oh, God.

Oh, yes.

Oh, where'd she go?

She's gone. She's gone.

You smell clean.

Oh, it seems to live. Just get in there.

You don't understand.

I have sex. A pelican.

I've had sex with queens.

Thank you.

Thank you.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

What is it that you want?

Are you aware of what your son, Cupid, is doing down there on Earth?

No, I wasn't aware, but he's a god as well. I don't think it's any of your

concern.

Is that so?

Perhaps we should see what Zeus thinks about that.

Uh, no, wait, wait.

Wait. Can't we...

work something out.

I am the god of war and your spell will not last long on me.

I will give you one mortal day to retrieve your son Cupid before I go to

you give yourself to me.

Ares, I will show you that love is stronger than war.

Show me how powerful love is.

Don't I always?

We'll see about that.

Mmm.

Yeah.

This feels so good.

Is that goddess pussy feel good?

under my control.

And we will be unstoppable.

Okay, Draco, I have two problems with that.

How are you going to get Cupid to go along with your plan? And do you really

think a love spell from Cupid's arrow is going to work on Xena?

I've got Cupid just where I want him.

And if his spell will work on you, Alty, I imagine it'll work. Well, I suppose.

Cupid, come in here, my friend.

Miss you too, my friend.

What's it been? All of five minutes since I've seen you last?

I know, man, but this is far too long. I love you guys.

Jeez.

Cupid, why don't you demonstrate to Alty here the power of your arrow?

really doubt that he's gonna... You

know,

I never noticed how handsome you were before.

You're more attractive than all the gods combined.

Come on, Aphrodite. We both know that you want something.

Well, there is something, and I wouldn't summon you if it wasn't super

important. I'm afraid to ask.

Well, it's Cupid. He's causing problems on Earth, and Ares is gonna tell Zeus.

He's a god.

I'm sure he can take care of himself.

But you're his favorite uncle. He looks up to you.

Yeah.

Well, I'm gonna be going.

to tend to more pressing matters.

Okay. I hope Xena's going to be okay.

Xena?

What does this thing with Cupid have to do with her?

I'm sure you'll find out.

You better hurry.

If you're lying, I'll be back.

Xena!

Gabrielle!

You've come all this way just to see me?

The Pelican tells of you hustling the villagers has come a great way.

They're about to retaliate.

We're here to save you from yourself.

Well, I appreciate your concerns, ladies, but I like it here. I think I'll

just fine.

Xena!

If nothing else, you're so predictable.

So you're here to see me?

I'm lucky for an LT with you.

How about that of you an LT?

On Amazon, doing the bidding of this warlord.

You're just cutting your whole race.

I left the Amazon a long time ago.

And you should be worrying about other things.

Like what?

Like what you're going to do when Xena leaves you.

Now keep it!

Obviously the one. I think you did just fine.

Come on, let's go.

Wait.

Wait for me, wait for me.

Get real. Not so fast, you know. You have to go through me first.

Well, if there was ever a time to walk away from two angry vaginas, it would be

right now.

See you later, gang.

And you were in trouble.

I'm just fine.

But Gabrielle, if anything happens to her... I'll

help you find her.

She's lucky to have such a friend like you.

We'll look for her first light, okay?

I'm lucky enough to have such a friend like you.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Your strong hands are stroking your big fucking cock.

Hmm.

Oh!

Oh my -

Fucking balls in my asshole too.

Come on, get these down and do a little fucking slap.

Come on, Robin.

Push me in your goddamn dick.

You're right, you're a fucking dick. Yes, I'm a fucking bitch.

I only

have three fingers at a time.

There's four.

I have four fingers.

That's what it doesn't take.

I'm gonna cheat on your fucking dick with my ass on it.

It's like I'm stroking her.

Sorry,

my fucking table.

I burnt on you.

Mm -hmm.

Open and close.

Open and close.

Sucking your dick with every fucking stroke.

Using my tattles. I'm just keeping it tight and making sure I

don't have room in my goddamn mouth. I want my dick.

You have to feel it all the time. Just like that.

Just like that.

I see

now

that your fucking heart turned into me.

I was going to tell him.

I was going to tell him. I was going to tell him. I was going to tell him. I was

going

to

tell him.

I see Xena still has you fighting for battles for her. I must say, I'm a bit

disappointed.

I would never disappoint a host.

He's here for Cupid.

Are you sure?

Would you mind helping with our old friend here?

Hercules, thank you, but I got this.

If you insist.

Must be taking my favorite nephew.

It'll be your last.

Now we'll get that... One time you were with Gabriel.

Just you and me.

Are you looking forward to it?

I guess.

I put us both in danger, Athena.

What if you were the one to take the arrow?

I wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

I'm a weak link.

Don't ever say that.

Don't ever think that.

It's your love that makes me stronger.

Don't you know that?

Come on, let's go home.

I don't want to bother you.

Oh.

Look at George, he's trying to play rough with me.

Take me like a little fucking toy.

Do you want to come here?

It's fucking hot and fucking dirty.