Original subtitles

Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of the Chamber of Commerce,

I wish to say that we are indeed

honored that the mayors of the United States

have chosen San Francisco for their annual convention.

We want their stay to be a memorable one.

And in San Francisco's many fine hotels,

they'll find plentiful accommodations.

I'm Billy Butler, the mayor of Longhorn, Texas, the pride of the Panhandle.

Yes, Your Honor.

Lovely flowers, Mayor. What would you like us to do with them?

Why, man, name's Blue Bonnet, same as the state flower of Texas.

Son, I want you to put a bouquet in the room of every mayor.

Mayor of Gailport, Louisiana is passing out pecan praline.

That's very nice, very nice.

I beg your pardon, ma'am.

Oh, and allow me.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Mayor Standish, of Winona, Maine, the Pine Tree State.

Where is His Honor?

Oh... Mayor Clarissa Standish.

Oh, yes, of course! Yes, we reserved a room for Mayor Standish.

Thank you, how much?

A very attractive room.

Yes, but how much?

Uh, $15 a day.

Well, I'm sure it's a very beautiful room, but you see,

I'm traveling at the taxpayers' expense.

Oh, well, in that case, I can give you a

lovely suite for $45, with a view of Alcatraz.

If I'd spend over $7 a day, I should be in Alcatraz.

Yes, Your Honor, $7. Your identification badge.

Thank you very much.

Oh, it's the fire chief from Puget City. He can't resist the sirens.

Thank you very much.

Would you come with me, please?

Yes, ma'am.

You're cordially invited to a cocktail party in the Top of the Sky,

courtesy of the Cement Sewer Construction Company.

Thank you very much.

Souvenir booklet of the convention activities,

compliments of the Jackson Jail and Penitentiary Equipment Company.

Thank you.

Souvenir booklet.

This is the latest word on garbage trucks. There's no flies on us.

Thank you.

Excuse me, I'm Mayor Standish of Winona, Maine, the Pine Tree State.

Corona Corona. Compliments of the Defiance Fire Engine Corporation.

- Well... - Oh, I'm sorry!

No, that's quite all right.

I have an uncle who smokes.

I'm shopping around for a fire engine.

Not because my uncle smokes, of course.

But our 1925 Stevens is obsolete.

Now, what kind of coupling do you have?

Uh... on your hydraulic pump?

Well, what's the difference between the Defiance and the Stevens?

They're giving away Perfecto Perfectos.

No, you don't quite understand...

Why don't you ask an old smokehead?

Fire Chief Duggan, of Puget City. Your Honor.

- How do you do, Chief. - Mayor...

Uh, Standish.

Standish. Now, what is your problem?

Well, you see, my city selectmen have empowered me to purchase a pumper.

But I want all the facts first.

Well, that depends on the facts about your city.

How big is Winona?

Well, the population is 30,010.

Well, now, you see, our Winona summers are getting drier

and drier, and we're completely surrounded by woods.

And... fires break out spontaneously.

Well, you don't want a Defiance. That's too big.

I'll tell you all about it at the meeting this afternoon.

Well, what meeting?

Well, you're on Mayor Fisk's committee,

studying fire prevention.

If you want me to arrange it.

Oh. Oh, yes, I do, could you?

Oh, I'm the special advisor. I'll advise it.

Room 1800 at 4:30.

Thank you. I'll be there.

Just put them right over there, please.

Yes, ma'am.

Lovely view.

Oh, yes. I see what you mean.

- Well... - A bottle of cassava juice,

compliments of Mayor Biddle of Cassava, California,

and a Missouri mule shoe, compliments of...

I can't remember who.

That's quite all right. Just put them down.

I'll take that little bag, please.

That's right. Thank you.

Iowa Corn, compliments of Mayor Duffy, Glen City.

Will you thank His Honor for me and tell him when I get

back to Maine, I'll return his compliments with... pine tree.

Yes, ma'am.

Thank you.

Compliments of Mayor Hammond of Gatorville, Florida.

Where shall I put it?

Just anywhere, will you, please?

Thank you.

Compliments of the Markmont Hotel.

Oh, thank you very much. Just put them right there.

However, I am not here to bore you with a long speech of welcome.

Your key, ma'am.

- No, no, no, no. - Thank you very much.

Not yet.

I have only a few more words to say

after we take you on a brief television tour of the city.

First, we'll visit the great Golden Gate Harbor,

the gateway to the Orient.

Now, take it away.

And a good afternoon, friends.

This is Bill Murphy, your roving reporter,

welcoming you to the famous docks of San Francisco

and reminding you that if it's a used car you want,

it's Honest Sam the man what am.

There's been a lot of excitement down here this afternoon.

Mayor Steve Fisk of Puget City,

a man who used to work in these docks sometime ago as longshoreman,

has come down to look things over for old time's sake.

Some of his friends made him a bet that politics have made him soft,

and you're just in time to see him win that bet.

Your Honor, Your Honor.

Say, that's a rather dangerous looking thing you have there.

Yeah, the claw is the right arm of a longshoreman.

He works, fights, does everything but makes love with it.

Will you say something to the television audience?

His Honor, Mayor Fisk.

Michael Fisk of Puget City.

Well, I don't really know much about making a speech.

And even if I did,

it would kind of take the wind out of me

when I stand here and look at this magnificent body.

Speechmaking just isn't my line.

A few years ago I was a longshoreman,

and all the talking in Puget City was being done by boss Henshaw and his machine,

and Henshaw's the crook who owns the shipping company.

Henshaw's a crook and he knows it.

And then when the city council,

which is still controlled by that crook Henshaw,

objected to a new storage system in the poor district,

I personally threw a lot of them into the city hall fish bar.

It may not be good politics, but it got things done.

And that's why we mayors are here at this convention,

to get things done.

We're here to work.

We're servants of the people.

We're not here to play.

We're paid to get things done.

It's a great town.

Look at Telegraph Hill.

A great spot for romance.

And that waterfront...

Those guys down there remembered me.

Those dark hands are the toughest,

best-hearted guys in the world, next to Puget City.

Every Saturday night, we'd go out on the town.

Monday morning, the town was on us.

You know how we used to show off in front of the girls?

Used to tear telephone books in half.

Now, just get that look out of your eyes,

and remember you're a mayor.

You got an important meeting today.

Oh, that meeting's called off.

What?

Hello?

Sure.

Come on up.

What do you mean, called off?

The only meeting I've got today is with that

tall blonde fluff downstairs passing on cigars.

Who?

Miss Unconscious.

I knew it. I knew you'd see her.

Steve, you should be seen with somebody important.

Miss Unconscious is important.

She won the title in a nightclub contest

and has been undefeated five years.

What'll the people think? It ain't dignified.

Did dignity get me elected? - Go on.

The people expect that of me.

I'm the longshoreman mayor.

If I wasn't myself, they wouldn't trust me.

I wouldn't trust myself.

Well, if you're gonna be yourself, I'm going along.

That's what I thought.

She's bringing along a friend, a dancer from the Blue Duck.

A fan dancer?

Nope.

Well, I'm a married man,

and I'll not be seen out with any bubble dancer either.

No bubbles.

- Well, whatever she hides behind. - She's an atom dancer.

Atom?

No, you take Miss Unconscious.

I'll take the Atom dancer.

Go on, wash your face. They're on the way up.

Whoa.

Now, listen, Steve.

The people know you play poker in the City Hall every Saturday night,

and that's all right, because they know it's an honest poker game.

But you can go too far.

That Henshaw crowd is just waiting for you to make one slip.

You've got to use your brains if you ever hope to be governor.

Well, why not?

You're knocked Henshaw out of Puget City.

You can knock them out of the state.

He's still running my city council.

Steve, you can beat him.

It's one thing to throw a guy into a fish pond, and another to be elected governor.

It's your duty to run.

Think what you could do in the governor's spot,

provided the cost you use your brains.

If I had any brains, would I have appointed you fire chief?

I'll wash my face.

Amazing how this town's grown.

The telephone book's twice as big as it used to be.

Compliments of the mayor.

A bottle of cassava juice.

Compliments of Mayor Biddle of Cassava, California.

Come in.

Hello.

Oh, how do you do, Your Honor?

We'll be right out, soon as we put on our coat.

Oh, don't bother on my account.

I'm accustomed to meetings like this.

I don't ask any special consideration on the basis of my sex.

- You don't? - Oh, no, of course not.

Leave your coat off by all means, if you'll be more comfortable.

You know, it's going to be very interesting getting right down

to business in a spirit of friendly cooperation, shall I say.

And to quote you, let's get things done, huh?

Uh, can I fix you a drink?

Oh, no, thank you, no.

I don't need any stimulant for this kind of work.

I can't get over how this town has changed.

Well, progress calls for rapid advances.

Uh, Duggan will be right out.

Oh, yes, of course, fire chief Duggan.

He's here to advise us, isn't he?

That's good. That's very good, because I need advice.

You see, Mayor Fisk, I have a problem peculiar to many small towns.

Spontaneous combustion in the woods.

- Uh, look, honey, I'm a mayor, see? - Yes.

I'm a responsible public official.

Now, I'll admit, you're a cute little tomato,

and you're probably a sensation dancing around with your atom, but...

Sheila's the atom dancer.

This is Mayor Standish of Winona, Maine.

Mayor Standish.

Mayor Fisk?

Please, just a minute, just a minute.

I, uh, I understood a meeting was called here today.

It was postponed.

Oh, I wasn't notified.

I wasn't notified you were on the committee.

Well, that I regret.

I forgot to tell you, Steve.

Oh, well, that makes it a draw.

You didn't know, I didn't know, no harm done.

No.

Anyway, nobody works the first day of a convention.

They're too tired, or they're gonna go shopping with their wives, or they're gonna see the town.

I adjourned the meeting until tomorrow, that's all.

That's all?

Under parliamentary procedure, a meeting cannot be adjourned

until after it's been called to order.

You know...

Not many mayors are pretty enough or...

have the figure to be mistaken for a dancing star.

I, I'll consider that a compliment...

coming from anyone but a person with the taste of a longshoreman.

The meeting will come to order.

I move the meeting be adjourned until tomorrow.

The motion is carried, the meeting is adjourned.

May I remind you again, Your Honor, that under parliamentary law,

a motion must be seconded.

Seconded?

In order to have it seconded, you would have to assemble a quorum.

It would be night before I could round up a quorum.

They all have tickets to shows and...

Well, we're not here to play. We're here to work.

That's what you said over the television.

I was just making a speech.

But you said you didn't know anything about making speeches.

That's the way you make a speech.

Oh... Oh, I see.

Well, as for getting things done,

I obviously misunderstood the type of work you wanted to get done.

Oh, never mind. I can ask the General Assembly

to be transferred to a sincerely active committee.

That's just what Angela's waiting for.

The meeting will be called for eight o'clock tonight.

Oh, thank you.

And under the circumstances, I think it should be held in some place other than your rooms.

You understand. - It will be held in a public room.

Fine. Where?

I haven't found said public room, but when I have found said public room,

you will be duly notified of said address under said parliamentary procedure.

Said time is precisely eight o'clock.

Well said, Your Honor.

You said it.

Chief Duggan?

Corn from Iowa.

Compliments of Mayor Duggan.

You won't be needing this any more, honey.

Sheila's here.

The Blue Duck.

I'll have some more...

Waiter!

Bring us a can.

This place is a fire trap.

I want to see what I'm eating.

If the little woman ever found out that I had dinner

with a nightclub dancer, she'd... - Cheer up, all is where the heart is.

You're thinking of her, aren't you?

Oh, yeah.

I see her face before me.

Oh, no!

Ladies and gentlemen!

Her Honor Mayor Standish of Winona, Maine!

The Pine Tree State!

Now everybody knows who you are.

No embarrassing mistakes.

Your Honor, I told you that I asked no special consideration as a woman.

But as the representative of the people of Winona, Maine,

I do demand respect.

And the people of Winona, Resent, being tricked into

a cheap place like this with a bunch of hoodlums when there's work to be done.

Well, may I introduce all you good people of Winona, Maine

to the rest of our committee?

Mayor Cabot and Mrs. Cabot from Hartford, Kentucky.

Mayor Anderson and Mrs. Anderson from Cormont, Missouri.

How do you do?

- Mayor Butler and Mrs. Butler... - From Longhorn, Texas,

the pride of the panhandle.

You needn't smile so big. She's a Republican.

Mayor Butler and I met this morning. I, uh...

I followed him into the hotel.

Oh, but I should have been following you.

As Maine goes, so goes the nation.

I believe you've met all the rest, Miss Unconscious,

and, of course, Sheila, the one and only atom dancer.

Oh, I don't really dance with atoms.

I just wear some little balloons that are supposed to be atoms.

Your Honor. Your Honor! Mayor Standish.

Oh, yes?

Are you related to Judge Silas Standish?

Yes, he's my uncle.

A great American. You must be very proud of him.

Oh, thank you, I am.

I studied law with my uncle after I left Harvard.

Harvard?

Does Harvard accept women's students?

Oh, only in the graduate schools.

I took my law degree in Winona.

Winona? That name's familiar. It's in a poem.

My wife composes poetry.

Oh, how nice.

Longfellow, isn't it?

Yes, it was about Hiawatha's mother.

Of course, it's Hiawatha's mother.

She was in a field among the lilies,

and a powerful west wind came up behind her.

He, um...

He wooed her with his words of sweetness, and he wooed her with his soft caresses.

Result?

Hiawatha!

Well, that reminds me.

The Chamber of Commerce is sponsoring a costume party tomorrow night.

I'll go as Hiawatha.

You'll be there, won't you?

Oh, Her Honor doesn't believe in parties during a convention.

She doesn't think... - Oh, I love costume parties.

Thank you.

Or in other words, good evening, ladies and gentlemen,

and welcome to the Blue Duck.

In just a moment, our fine foreshow will start.

But first, the Blue Duck Grand Orchestra.

Well, that's me.

I've got to go put on my bomb.

Excuse me, all.

I hope you'll like it.

I wish we could stay to see the young lady dance, but we have theater tickets.

Well, I'm sorry, gentlemen,

but I'm afraid the ladies will have to go to the theater without you tonight.

Mayor Standish insists that I call our committee into session immediately.

She demands that we get right down to work.

Well, if everybody has theater tickets...

Well, after all, nobody works the first day at a convention anyway.

Now that's what I said. You said...

Well, when I suggested that we get together tonight,

I didn't realize that the honorable gentlemen

would have their honorable wives with them.

Well...

Oh, no, no, I don't mean that their wives are honorable, I...

Well, I mean that when one's wife is alone,

one is not as free at night as one is without one's wife.

Well, for us to get together, that is.

You see, I'm not being married myself.

I'm inclined to forget that some of the men are married.

Well, that is to say, I'm more or less married to my committees.

Well, you see, tonight, I was most eager to...

put some important motions before the gentlemen.

Uh, make several propositions.

Shall we dance?

By all means.

Thank you.

Uh, order some champagne.

Which end of the line shall we join?

Oh, I'm sorry, I...

- Good night. - Good night.

- Good night. - Nice party, Steve.

Good night, Miss Standish.

I'm still going, a tired walker.

Good night, Miss.

Well, good night, son.

And when you see your prayers tonight, look toward Texas.

That's where God can dance.

I beg your pardon.

May I take a picture of you and the young lady,

to develop it and mail it to your home?

No!

In case of fire, walk, do not run, to the nearest exit.

I'm going back to the hotel. Excuse me. Good night.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, thank you.

Are we having a good time?

Louder.

Louder!

Ouch!

And now, ladies and gentlemen, we are proud to present

the feature attraction of the Blue Duck.

That sensational young San Francisco dancer who gave her fans

back to the ostrich and put her bubble back in the bathtub.

We give her to you in person, in the flesh.

And here she is, Sheila, our atom dancer.

She's very good.

I...

Never mind. I don't want you to miss anything.

Oh, no, no, that's all right. I can see her any time.

Yes, I'm sure you can.

I'm sorry I hit your finger.

- Yeah, you said that before. - Yes, but I really am sorry.

What's more, I'm thoroughly ashamed of myself because I'd like to do it again.

You know, there's something about you, Mayor Fisk, that brings out the very worst in me.

Maybe it's because I'm a longshoreman and you're a Harvard man.

Oh, but I'm not a snob.

I merely try to uphold my title of Honorable Mayor.

How honorable can you get?

Well, I... I don't think I'm a snob.

Do you?

I always trust my first impression.

I still think you'd make a terrific atom dancer.

That's quite a bump.

You said it.

I hope nothing's knocked out of joint.

Any minute now, something has to give.

Can you wiggle it like that?

Nobody can wiggle it like-

Oh, you're...

I thought, uh...

Oh, no, no, no, I was... Oh, dear.

Oh, no.

Oh, boy, I'm splitting the atom.

It's a chain reaction!

Oh, stick it, my hat!

Hey, what about my wife's hat?

No, thanks, better use my coat to pay her.

Thirty-five bucks, why you...

It's just like old time.

Mayor Fisk! Mayor Fisk!

Mayor Fisk!

Mayor Fisk!

Mayor Fisk!

Play something.

Play something, you gotta stop this!

Don't go away, say something!

Hey, look!

- Hey, Harvard, come on! - We can't, it's a riot, we have to stop it.

Hey, if you don't run for the alley now,

you won't be running for election next month.

What?

This wouldn't look good in the Winona papers.

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Hey, you!

- I'll take it. Thank you. - This way.

Out there?

Come on, honey. She's a lawyer. She can talk her way out of this.

We'll go up to my place.

- Oh, but I... I can't do that. I... - Come on.

- Down there? - Yeah, it's all right.

It goes down with your weight.

Good evening. Don't tell me the party's breaking up so soon.

Hey, look what I got.

It walks like a dame, but it looks like a duck.

Lychee nuts! Lychee nuts!

Tiny lychee nuts!

Lychee nuts!

Tiny lychee nuts!

Lychee nuts!

Tiny lychee nuts!

Lychee nuts!

Tiny lychee nuts!

Oh, it's you, huh?

Here.

Come on, let's go and get that five change.

Hey, the Chinese national bank!

Hey, look at that roll.

Hey.

I ought to be selling lychee nuts.

One...

Two...

Three... Four...

Hmm, how about financing my car?

Thank you.

How about the 90 cents change?

That's better.

What's the matter?

Oh, dime too much.

I must have went to bed too early when I was a kid.

- Night. - Night.

Lychee nuts!

Tiny lychee nuts!

Lychee nuts!

Tiny lychee nuts!

Now, let this prisoner make a call with some fire chief at Markmont.

That's irregular, it's very irregular, regulations, Fred...

Oh, where is the prisoner?

- In the tank. - Get him out of there.

Get him out of there and get him down here and keep it quiet.

- Yes, sir. Yes, sir. - Quiet!

Just go away. You come back some other time.

I'm busy now, I can't be bothered. This...

She's in the women's tank.

From the Blue Duck?

Get her out of the women's tank and get her down here and keep it quiet.

Oh, for the calm, peaceful days of the Tang Wars.

Who'd ever think these mayors, that they'd cause anything like this?

Boy, those hills.

- I wanted to push one for... - Okay, Hogan, give it to me.

- Wait a minute. - Who do you- Get back, will you, Francis?

He's a new kid, he could be with... Sorry.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

I got nothing for you, just a false alarm.

Now knock it off, Hogan.

You're talking to the dregs of what used to be an honorable profession.

Now, come on! - I can't talk about it.

Gentlemen, I've got nothing else for you. Just routine.

Now don't give us that routine routine.

When I say it's routine, I mean it's routine. Now beat it.

Hey, you. Come here. What do you want?

Who, me?

Yeah, you.

- Well, I... I... I... I... - Hey!

Well, didn't I see you in the convention hall today?

Who, me?

Yeah.

Oh, no. I was... I was... I didn't... uh...

Why, no!

That's right. He was yak-yakking with some of the mayors.

Wait a minute, now. Wait a minute.

I'll do the questioning around here. You, come here.

What is it you want?

Well, I went... I came... I was...

There, there, there, we were there...

Where can you get some of them lychee nuts?

There's a kid selling them now in the hallway.

Oh, thank you.

Come on, Francis.

Lychee nuts! Tiny lychee nuts!

Here.

Lychee nuts!

Two beers, it's all I had.

Two short beers.

Two days, that's all you get.

Two short days.

Two beers!

Two days.

Don't get fat.

Come on, Francis. Get the lead out.

This way, Your Honor.

Look, Harvard, I'm sorry about this.

Things sort of got out of hand. I'm really sorry.

Now, I don't blame you for being sore,

but we've got to work together for the next couple of days,

and it'll make things a lot easier for both of us if you could sort of overlook this whole thing.

Right here, sir.

Your Honors, I believe these belong to you.

And, um... welcome to San Francisco.

Yes, thanks, Sergeant. Great to be here.

Fine jail you have, I know. I've been to some of the best.

I bet you have.

As mayor. What's the bail?

Oh, no, Your Honor, that's on the house.

We have strict orders to give every courtesy to the visiting mayors.

Well, now, that's what I call real San Francisco hospitality.

I'll do the same for your mayor when he comes to Puget City.

Oh, you won't have to do that.

He don't need chop suey.

Now, is there anything else I can do for you?

Yes, there are a couple more of my party in the tank.

Uh-oh. More mayors?

No, no. A couple of girls.

One of them is wearing my coat.

Oh, that'll be all, I'm taking care of her, Your Honor.

Now, I don't want you to think that I'm rushing you out of jail written like that.

But you see, there's a lot of reporters out there,

and-and... I wouldn't know what to say. It's-it's very embarrassing for me.

Embarrassing for you?

No, I'll keep it quiet. Your name won't even be on the bladder.

Oh, thank you.

You'll be listed as Jane Doe.

Oh, that's very kind of you.

That's just an old drunk we picked up in the alley.

Good-bye, Sergeant.

Good-bye, Your Honor.

See? All your worry was for nothing, Harvard.

Everything turned out fine.

Fine? For a mayor to be arrested in a raid and put in jail?

Apparently you're used to this kind of thing, but I'm not.

And nor are the people who are known to me.

This doesn't mean a thing to you.

Why, you're just a common waterfront brawler.

I'll call a taxi.

Thank you, I'll call my own.

Okay, honey. One can ride as chooses to.

And please don't call me, honey. I am not one of your atom wiggers.

I beg your pardon, the right honorable mayor of Winona.

And farewell to the rock-bound coast of Maine.

Lychee nuts, Chinese lychee nuts.

Sure, one, little boy. And I'll give you a lift home.

If you're not too proud to ride with a longshoreman.

Okay.

Lychee nuts, Chinese lychee nuts.

Look this way, Your Honor.

Oh, good morning, Liza.

Good morning, Judge.

Liza, this cream a little sour?

Well, we're not using it up so fast, with Clarissa in San Francisco.

Coffee too hot, Judge?

Liza, have you talked to anyone about that?

Who is it to talk to?

Everyone's walking on the other side of the street this morning.

That's... that's all, Liza. That's all.

Hello? Hello?

Hello, Clary?

Well, how are you, darling?

Oh, it's so good to hear your voice.

It's the very happiest thing that's happened to me since I've been here.

Uh, why'd you call?

Oh, just want to see how you are.

There's a little item in the paper about you and Mayor...

Fisk. Mayor Fisk.

I know, but, Clary, wait, wait, wait.

Suppose we start this at the beginning.

What sort of a dance was she doing?

Scandalous. Scandalous.

What happened then?

You did?

He did?

Yes, he did.

And... how are the people taking it?

Well, you know how they are in this town, Clary.

They're still whispering about that higher water incident.

Yeah, I know, and that... that powerful...

That powerful west wind.

Look, Uncle Silas, I can't stay here another minute.

I'm going to fly home immediately.

No, no, no, don't do that.

That might make things look worse than they are.

After all, if you are innocent...

if you've done nothing wrong, if...

If, if, if, why do you keep saying if?

Well, you don't think for one minute I'd go to a place like that... with a man like that, do you?

Oh, I don't think you would.

I've always kind of hoped you would, but...

I didn't think you would.

Uncle Silas, this may ruin my chances of being reelected.

Well, the city's loss may be your gain.

Public service is a fine thing, Clary, but you can't cuddle up to it on a cold winter's night.

Now, what else is wrong with this man, besides being big and strong and...

born on the wrong side of the Mississippi?

Clary...

Now, if you were the defense attorney...

how would you plead for him?

No. No... no...

The court refused to accept that plea.

I'll give you another day to prepare your case.

Goodbye, Clary.

What happened, Judge?

Liza, history has repeated itself.

Clary has met the powerful West Wind.

Don't worry, Judge. There won't be any gossip.

I've got something on everybody in this town.

Good morning.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

No, I... No, thank you.

Top of the sky.

Good morning, Mayor Standish.

- Oh, good morning, Mayor Standish. - Morning.

Good morning.

Good morning, Mayor...

Standish? - Yes, Standish.

- One? - One, please.

Two dozen crimson roses, the Harvard color.

- Oh, how lovely. - Good morning, from Mayor Fisk.

Oh...

A blue duck, madam.

Good morning from Mayor Fisk.

How are famous pick-me-up?

Mayor Standish.

Good morning.

Compliments of Mayor Fisk.

Two dozen seemed a bit conspicuous, but Mayor Fisk insisted.

Two dozen, he said,

two dozen I got.

I'll have two dozen poached steaks and a cup of coffee, please.

Did you say two...

Yes, I have the same breakfast every morning.

- You mean that... - Yes, I mean exactly what I say.

And please hurry.

I'm hungry.

Very well.

Call for Mr. Taggart.

Mr. Leslie Taggart, please.

Call for Mr. Taggart.

Mr. Leslie Taggart, please.

Call for Mr. Taggart.

Steve, you hear of their paging?

Yeah, Les Taggart.

Have some breakfast.

I'm up to hear in lychee nuts.

Henshaw must have heard about last night.

He sent his hatchet man.

I told you to stay out of trouble.

Taggart and I are old friends, we go fishing together.

That's what I mean.

He'll never forgive you for throwing his boys in the fish pond.

Neither will the fish.

Call for Mr. Taggart.

Mr. Leslie Taggart, please.

Here, boy.

Thank you, sir.

Hello, Steve.

How's the people's choice?

Still choosy about my company.

What are you doing down here?

Council asked me to fly down.

Just coffee.

They passed a bill that needs your signature.

You know, you've got the boys' buffaloed.

They asked me to explain it to you.

They figured that one ex-longshoreman can talk to another.

You smell something burning?

Oh, Chief.

Hello.

I'm sorry I didn't notice you.

The pleasure was all mine.

I didn't recognize you without your hatchet.

Say, Chief, I got a little job for you.

Sure, Steve, anything.

Call up the Chamber of Commerce and find out about that costume shindig tonight.

Okay.

Then go to some costume joint and pick out something for me to wear.

I'll take care of it right away.

And I'll tell the maître d'

he better keep an eye on his silverware.

Well, good morning, Your Honor.

Good morning, Chief.

Why should they pass it while I'm away, unless there's something wrong with it?

Before you blow your top, Steve, just read it.

The council voted the money you want for your public housing program.

It's all there.

Every cent you asked for.

Henshaw must have been out for a tall beer.

They voted it for you on Mr. Henshaw's instructions.

We're not difficult to get along with, Steve.

You ought to know that by now.

We want to cooperate with you.

This is what I asked for all right.

All it needs is your signature.

We'll have a gander at the small print.

Sure.

A fellow like you has to know what he's signing.

You've got an obligation to the people.

Uh-oh.

What's the matter?

And the entire municipal housing project to be awarded

to the Puget City Construction Company.

That's Henshaw's outfit.

Oh, what's the beef? Henshaw's bid was the lowest.

Yeah, below the belt.

Even if he makes a few bucks, he'll pay it back in taxes.

Will he pay for all the houses that burned down because of his cheap wiring?

No.

Will he bring back to life all the people who'll

be killed when those crummy buildings cave in?

Yes, he'll vote them at the next election.

Steve, that's a terrible thing to say about anybody.

Mr. Henshaw has devoted his life to the citizens of our community.

And no one is there... - I should have brought my violin.

We could have a duet.

This is another of Henshaw's pork barrels.

If it is, you're over it.

You want money for municipal housing.

Yes.

There's your housing money.

And there's Henshaw's building contracts.

In other words, the council won't give me one without the other.

You campaigned for public housing.

If you don't give it to them, you're washed up.

If you do and don't take the lowest bid, it'll smell like graft.

The newspapers like the smell of pork, and it's your bacon that's frying.

Steve, you're over a barrel.

Okay, I beat my brains out on this thing long enough.

Here's my signature.

Tell old Henshaw he can have a rubber stamp made out of it.

Now you're being smart, Steve.

Check.

You vetoed it.

Difference of opinion. That's what makes a horse race, isn't it?

I'm betting on me.

I'll bet your shirt the odds can be fixed.

The odds may be fixed, but I'm not.

The people can throw me out if they don't like what I do,

but they'll never throw me out because I didn't do anything.

You can't run the city with your fists.

No?

How tall are you?

Tall enough?

It'll be a tight squeeze, but you'll fit in that fish pond.

Meeting's adjourned.

Good meeting, Steve.

We're really confident that...

- Well, I'll... - I'll see you at the party.

Yeah, what kind of a clam-bake is it?

Why, you would have come dressed as you was the first

time you was kissed by a member of the opposite sex.

I wonder what Duggan got me.

You know, a party like that could break up a man's home.

My wife's a very jealous woman.

I haven't time for dinner. I'll get a quick shower and...

Duggan.

Duggan!

Fire!

Women and children first!

Jump for the net!

Hold it, chief!

Oh, what a nightmare!

Oh, that was a humdinger.

I dreamt the whole city was on fire,

and I stomped it out with my feet.

You got the feet for it.

Oh!

That's good work, Chief.

We'll put a siren on your dogs and do away with the rest of the force.

Oh, Stevie.

What type of a costume did you get me?

I should have got you some three-colored pants.

You're too old to be playing around with matches.

Fire is the worst hazard in the country today.

Don't give matches to children.

Don't smoke in bed.

Carefully dispose of matches, cigarettes, and cigars.

Firebugs are criminals, and some people are firebugs without even knowing it.

Yeah, Chief.

It's like accidents.

Statistics show some people have more accidents than others.

The same goes for firebugs.

And as fire chief, it's my job to catch 'em.

That's right, Chief.

I left your costume in the closet here.

Here.

How did you know how old I was when I first kissed a girl?

Yeah, I figured you started as soon as you could.

Holy smoke, no wonder they give these things away.

They smell like old burning rags.

Hey, what are you doing?

Well, I thought I'd get your clothes pressed while you were at the party tonight.

They're all jammed up here. I'll take it to that joint on Market Street.

It's open all night.

Yeah, thanks. Here, have these mended too, huh?

Yeah.

Did Sheila bring my coat back?

Oh, a telephone tour. Is she still there at the Blue Duck?

After last night, I wonder if the Blue Duck is still there.

Yeah, that's what Taggart's telegram was about this morning.

Somehow or other, they found out up north you were in that brawl.

I warned you. - We'll worry about that when we come to it.

I'm telling you, you've got to behave yourself.

You've got to act at all times like a responsible...

Stop shoveling, Chief.

One basket of corn around here is enough. - But you've got to...

We'll be in there slugging when they start throwing the kernels.

- You've got to... - I promise tonight I'll be a good little boy.

Duggan!

Duggan!

Bye, darling, I'll call you tomorrow.

Well, if you aren't the cutest little fella...

Oh, I beg your pardon.

Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I've got to borrow these.

Hairiest boy I've ever seen.

Where's the nearest cab stand?

Right down the hill.

They're being pressed, see?

Oh, it happens all the time.

And if the house dick comes down, why, we ain't seen nobody.

Thanks.

Taxi! Taxi!

Taxi! Taxi!

Taxi!

Taxi! Taxi!

Harvard!

Oh, good evening.

Hey, you got yourself a costume.

Yes.

Duggan get it for you?

No, I rented it.

Curls and all.

Yes, yes, curls and all.

Here, here, let me look at you.

Oh, please, please don't, don't.

Oh, then you have been kissed.

Well, I don't blame the guy. You're cute. I'd have kissed you myself.

Yeah, I'd have made those curls stand right up on end.

Oh, please, you'll spoil them.

Little girl, is this man bothering you?

No, I'm not bothering her. Beat it.

Hey!

Oh, now, just a minute. I was here first, this is my taxi.

Taxi!

Taxi!

Anyway, I needed it more than you.

I've to find my clothes. They're over on Market Street someplace.

We can share a cab until...

Oh, no, we can't, I wouldn't go anywhere with you, especially without any...

What?

What are you trying to do with this kid?

What kid?

What's this guy trying to do?

The big man wanted me to ride with him in a taxi.

And he pinched me, too.

I did not pinch you.

Well, I'm gonna pinch you.

She's no kid. Where've you been all your life?

Look at that figure. Look at those legs. Look at...

That child happens to be the mayor of Winona, Maine.

And I'm a mayor, too.

I got the credentials right here to prove it.

I'm mayor of... - Boys' Town?

Well, I guess I forgot my credentials.

Anyway, she's Mayor Standish and I'm Mayor Fisk.

Oh, Mayor Fisk! Why didn't you say so, Your Honor?

That's what I've been trying to do.

Anyway, no harm done... yet.

That's right. No harm done. No hard feelings?

No, no, of course not.

And you were waiting for a taxi?

Yeah, that's right.

Well, maybe I can help you find one.

This way, please. - All right.

Lychee nuts! Tiny lychee nuts! Lychee nuts! Tiny lychee nuts!

Lychee nuts! Tiny lychee nuts!

Sonny...

I'm a little bit short today, how about giving me a bag on credit, huh?

Now, wait a minute now.

You can talk English well enough if I've got a dime.

And I just happen to have one.

What's the matter? It's good.

Lychee nuts! Tiny lychee nuts!

No, not again.

Where is he? In the tank?

In the hall.

Anyone with him?

Huh?

All right, get them in here, get them in here.

I know, I know.

- Good evening, Your Honors. - Good evening.

Mayor Standish.

Oh, yes. Well, it's nice to see you again, I'm sorry.

Now, it was our fault. Your officer was right to run us in.

We were acting suspicious.

The big man pinched me.

Thanks for the pants. I'll see that you get them back.

Glad my pants fit you.

You were not picked up without any...

Oh, well, I wasn't with him.

- No? - Why, no, no...

No, it was a costume party.

And you see, we both went out the back door of the hotel so nobody would see us.

Well, it's all right with me. It's perfectly all right.

Well, I won't detain you, Your Honors, any longer,

because I'm sure you must be on your way

to someplace else over here in the yonder part of town.

Excuse me, I'll... Hey, reporters.

Look, I'll get their attention. You sneak out behind them.

Yeah.

Just a minute.

Come here.

I've got a hot tip for you.

It was a hit-and-run catch-up right in the middle of Market Street.

Tell me. After last night, he's my photographer.

What am I carrying this for?

Oh, promoted, huh?

Oh, I can see you keep your eyes open.

I'll bet you nothing will slip past your back.

Some people are born with a nose for news.

You can always tell a good newspaper man by the way he smells.

Are we all right?

Well, I don't know about you, but I'm doing fine.

Oh, I...

Are you hurt?

No.

Never mind the hotel. Take us up on Telegraph Hill.

I wanted you to see the view from up here.

Oh?

Well, over there is the Golden Gate and the Golden Gate Bridge.

And down there is the Bay and Alcatraz Island.

Yes.

And over there to the right is the Great Oakland Bay Bridge.

Too bad it's foggy and you can't see anything. It's really a wonderful view.

It is, huh?

Yeah. Well, let's try the other side.

All right.

You better stick close to me.

Oh, yes, yes.

Closer.

That's much better.

I can't see my hand in front of my face.

No, neither can I.

Yours isn't in front of your face.

- Oh, well, I don't want you to get lost. - No.

You might run into a telescope.

Oh, what's the matter?

It's a telescope.

Oh.

Oh, what's that?

The beacon from Alcatraz.

Are they looking for us, too?

It's the only jail we've missed so far.

There should be a bench around here somewhere.

Stanley! Really!

Why, you sailors!

Ow!

Baby, what's the idea?

Just don't get grabby.

I never even touched you.

Well, I was looking for a bench.

Mac, you got it.

Come on, sugar. Let's get out of this mob.

Let's sit down here and wait for it to clear.

Well, if I don't get to that party, they'll think I didn't have the nerve to face them.

This pea soup, half the people won't get there.

Oh.

Well, I guess not.

No.

Now...

Who was it?

Who what?

Kissed you.

Oh, it was in school play.

I was Sleeping Beauty.

Oh, that's good casting.

Well, kissing me was part of the story.

The, uh...

Prince Charming was played by the boy next door,

Ralph Waldo Orsendorf.

Dorsendorf?

Yes, Dor... No, no, Orsendorf.

Oh, strange.

Now, Ralph's my campaign manager now.

Yeah, still smooching around.

He's been a wonderful friend, Ralph has.

And so handy, living right next door.

He makes delicious maple sugar.

You'd like his maple sugar.

No, I don't even like Ralph.

No.

- Neither does Uncle Silas... - Who?

Uncle Silas is Judge Standish, you know.

I've lived with Uncle Silas as long as I can remember.

He taught me the importance of duty to others,

as compared to my own inclinations.

Taught me the duty to... do good and to... be good.

Good, good.

I have a very strong sense of responsibility, you know.

Oh, I know you have.

Yes.

What about the other guys?

Oh?

Oh, well, in school, I... I didn't have time for parties and...

things like this.

I, uh...

I used to stay home nights and study for my examinations,

and then half the time the examinations were...

Cancelled.

Cancelled.

What about the other guys?

Well, you mean after...

Well, after I got out of school, they were sort of around,

but I had big ambitions, and I didn't think the boys and ambitions would mix,

and when I discovered they couldn't, everybody mixed them,

and well, all those boys were sort of spoken for, you see.

And then the second time... Oh, the second time around, uh...

all the men had political glints in their eyes because I was district attorney, you see,

and when they came to call, it was either to fix a ticket or...

something, and... - Political glints.

Do you resent the fact that I went to Harvard?

Do you resent the fact I didn't?

No, no, I admire you, Steve.

I admire your two-fists' way of doing things.

We make a good team, brains and brawns.

No, I didn't mean that. You had brains,

but on you the brawn is so becoming.

Why don't you kiss me?

Well, I thought you brought me up here for that, wasn't it?

Well, I... yeah.

Oh, please, kiss me, make love to me.

I know you won't mean it, but that's all right.

I just want to hear you tell me all the things you've told all those other girls.

Oh, tell me.

Hey, now, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

You're not addressing a committee meeting, you know...

- Well... - Besides, those other girls are different.

I respect you.

But I don't want you to respect me.

Ralph respects me. Uncle Silas respects me.

The whole darn world respects me.

Oh, please. Just read the mind.

Be disrespectful, lie to me. Tell me that you love me.

Wait, I don't start anything I can't finish.

If I tell you I love you, I mean it.

You don't want to marry a guy like me.

Oh, yes, I do. If you want me.

Honey, I want you more than... If I thought for one minute...

What?

I've already thought.

Oh, dear.

Honey, will it work? We're different, you know. Different in every way.

Socially, economically, politically... - Then lovingly we're doing just fine.

Thanks very much for the use of your scarf.

That sounds like my telephone.

I don't care.

Was it maybe Uncle Silas?

He said he might call back.

Uncle Silas.

That's just fine, Mikey.

Here. Never mind. I have a basket of them.

Hello? Oh yes, put him on.

It is. You've got a little lipstick right there.

Lipstick right there.

Hello? Oh, hello, Uncle Silas.

Yes. Of course I sound happy.

I am happy.

I've never been so happy in my whole life.

That looks much better.

What? Oh, yes.

Yes, he's here in the room with me right now.

Oh, well, it isn't as late here as it is there, Uncle Silas.

No.

Yes.

Yes, I have changed my mind about him.

That's my privilege as a woman, you know?

You see, we're going to fly to Puget City after the convention closes tomorrow night.

And then we'll be married the following morning.

You're going to be married?

Married?

Well, you must have built up quite a case for the defense.

Judge, who in the world is she going to marry?

He has that...

Oh, Steve, please. Oh!

Please, that's my best nightie, be careful.

The best n...

Uh, Clary, did you say you were going to be married?

Married! My little Clarissa!

Married!

What?

Oh, no. Not at all becoming.

You idiot.

Oh, no. No, Uncle Silas. No, I wasn't talking to you.

I was talking to Steve over here.

By the way, what's his profession?

What'd he do before he was elected mayor?

Uh, profession...

Well, you can tell them that he used to be a doc...

a dock engineer.

And that we're going to be married in Puget City the day after tomorrow.

Here, here, let me talk to him, introduce us.

Oh, what'd you say?

Yes.

Yes, all right, Uncle Silas. Yes, I'll tell him.

Thank you. Good night. You're a dear.

Here, give me that...

Why didn't you introduce us? He's going to be my uncle-in-law, isn't he?

Yes, and he said to send you his very best.

Why didn't you let him give it to me over the phone? Afraid I'd pull some boner?

Oh, no, I was just so happy and excited.

And, Steve, you mustn't say things like that.

People think you have an inferiority complex.

Why, you're a very important man.

You're a self-made man, a big and a wonderful man.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, what's this dock engineer business you were giving him?

Oh, that was just for the newspapers, isn't it?

I wasn't a dock engineer, a dock superintendent, or a shipping tycoon.

I was a longshoreman. - Yes.

Now, if you're ashamed of me, if you have to apologize to those folks...

Oh, darling, I'm not apologizing for you.

It's just that... well, they're known as a very conservative

city, and I don't want to shock them by telling them.

Shock?

Well, no, I didn't mean that.

I only meant that... well, Steve, they speak another language,

and I think it would be wiser to tell them... - Oh, well, okay.

If we're going to talk everybody's language,

I'll introduce you to my friends as the old lady, the War Department,

the cute little trick who hooked me and cooled me down.

Well, you needn't be vulgar.

What do you want to marry me for, anyway?

Reform me, make a gentleman out of me?

Now, if those long-hairs back there in Winona...

Despite your high opinion of yourself, you could stand some improvement.

How could you propose to me one moment and then be so rude to me...

I proposed to you?

All I said was, you don't want to marry a guy like me, and you said

"Oh, yes, I do", and I was smart enough to keep my mouth shut.

But I...

But you said you loved me.

You said you wanted to marry me.

And the minute I did, you started hammering the ball and chain around my leg.

Oh, Steve, I am ashamed of you.

You are cheap and crude and rude...

Oh, well, then you should have waited until after the wedding and told that to the judge.

You're going to make yourself a lot of alimony.

- Steve! - Skip it.

Taggart flew up to Puget City today.

He's going to jam that bill through the council over your veto.

They're going to foreclose on your housing project.

They haven't the guts.

They have if you aren't there. The council's meeting in the morning.

I've got to get up there.

Planes will be sitting like ruptured ducks in this fog.

Yeah, but they're taking off from Oakland.

A limousine leaves here in ten minutes.

You can catch the Stratoliner at midnight.

Here, here's your ticket.

And look, I packed your bag, too.

You're right on that ball, Chief.

Where's my suit?

Where's my clothes?

Your clothes?

Yes, well, they were awful busy

what with the convention and not and I, uh...

Don't you worry now. I'll bring them up tomorrow.

They can't do a good job in a hurry.

And if they aren't pressed right, you look silly.

Did you call Sheila about my coat?

Yes, I... She'll be here any minute.

I came as soon as I got the call.

I even canceled my last show.

Baby, am I glad to see you. Come on in, sweetie.

Are you sure you're ringing the right room?

Here it is, honey.

She doesn't answer.

What do you mean, she doesn't answer? She has to answer. I just left her.

Who?

What?

Well, I thought you wanted to see more of me, and I...

Is there any more?

I'm sorry I popped your costume.

Buy yourself a new one and send me the bill.

So long. - I'll take a train up in the morning.

And after I came all the way to his hotel room!

No gentleman would treat a lady like that.

I can see you're a gentleman.

I'll go to the airport with you.

No, I don't care to order any souvenirs from San Francisco.

Thank you. I won't forget it.

Yes?

Telegram, Mayor Standish.

Oh, thank you.

Do you, by any chance, know if Mayor Fisk has gone up to the dining room yet?

Oh, he checked out last night. He took a plane to Puget City.

Thank you.

- Thank you, ma'am. - Thank you very much.

Good morning, Mayor.

Uh-oh. See the way he's walking?

Look at those fists all doubled up.

Yes.

Yeah. Oh, don't just stand there.

Hurry up and get them fish out of the pond.

All right.

All those in favor of passing this bill over the mayor's veto...

You sure he's still down there in San Francisco?

Mm-hmm.

All those in favor of awarding this contract to the Puget City Construction Company say aye.

- Aye. - Aye.

The ayes have a...

I didn't hear that vote.

Would you mind taking it again?

And this time, let's have a hand vote.

Go ahead. Call the vote.

Uh, all those in favor of passing this bill over the mayor's veto say...

Uh, raise your right hand.

Opposed?

It's a stand-off.

How does the chairman vote?

Nay, motion rejected. Fido stands.

All those in favor of adjour...

What are you waiting for, an escort?

I've got a point to make first.

Thanks.

I'll break the news to Henshaw for you.

I'm in no hurry to show the old man my report card.

I flunked out for the moment.

Why don't you guys wise up? The voters have.

Yeah.

Getting tougher and tougher to buy an honest vote.

You got here right on the nose. How'd you find out?

A little man sits on my shoulder and whispers in my ear.

If he tells you we're giving up that contract, he's nuts.

Better go roll your pork barrel.

Okay.

So I'll have to find myself a little man.

Or a little dame.

Welcome home, Mayor Fisk.

Oh, hello, Gertrude. Get me San Francisco.

Mayor Clarissa Standish, Markmont Hotel right away.

Yes, sir.

Come in.

Miss Standish has checked out.

Are they still on the wire?

Yes, they are.

Thanks. This is Mayor Fisk.

Let me speak to the desk clerk.

Just a minute, please.

And what about the time when my sister came

to stay at the house while I was in the hospital?

What about that? That's what I want to know.

Desk clerk.

Yes, Your Honor. She checked out early this morning.

No, Your Honor. She...

No, she didn't confide in me where she was going.

Get me reservations on the next plane to Winona.

Yes, sir. Where?

Winona, Maine.

Birthplace of high water, home of maple sugar and codfish.

Population, 30,010.

When I leave there, it'll be 30,009.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Attention, please. A telephone call for Mayor Fisk.

Mayor Fisk, will you please come to the telephone? It is urgent.

Oh, Mayor Fisk, I'm glad I caught you.

Judge Standish is on...

No, Judge Standish from Winona, Maine.

Operator, will you please switch this call?

Hello? Judge?

Oh, hello! Hello, Your Honor.

Hello, Uncle Silas. Never mind the honor. I'm just Steve.

Can you hear me all right?

Just as though you're right next to me.

I'm on my way to meet you.

That's very thoughtful of you.

With a good tail wind, I should be there in the morning.

Yeah... In the morning?

Well, maybe I just better go to a hotel.

Oh, no, no, no, no. You stay right where you are.

I'll go to a hotel. I don't want to crowd you.

Now, what's the best one?

Well, don't you know?

Uh, perhaps you better let me talk to Clary.

Clary? How'd she get there so soon?

She'd get where?

With you.

Well, I haven't heard a word from Clary since last night.

How could I? The plane just arrived.

Oh, oh, she just got there.

Got where?

In Winona, with you.

Clary is in Winona?

Aren't you?

Oh, no, no, no. I'm here.

Where is here?

Well, ten minutes ago I'd have told you, but I'm hanged if I know now.

Well, isn't Clary here with you in Puget City?

You're in Puget City?

Yes, yes. The airport.

The airport?

Hey, Uncle Silas.

Excuse me, excuse me, Steve, some pest is trying...

- Uncle Silas. - Can't you see this booth is occupied?

Yes, I'm Steve.

How do you do, Steve? You may as well go away.

He's starting it all over again.

Uncle Silas.

Now, how do you do Uncle Silas now? Excuse me.

I'm Steve.

I'm Steve.

- You're... - Yes.

Oh, excuse me, Steve.

Steve.

Yes.

Well, that was quite a tailwind.

You blew me right out of the next booth.

I'm so happy to know you, Steve.

Powerful West Wind.

Well, where's Clary?

I bought her wedding dress.

Well, you could have saved the money.

Well, it didn't cost a cent. This was her mother's.

It's right back in style again.

Come on, we've just got time to catch the next plane to...

Now, Steve, explain this thing to me bit by bit.

Clary tells me she's going to be married.

I come here, I bring her wedding dress,

and now you ask me do I know where she is,

and now you want to go to Winona.

I don't... I don't understand.

I don't know what gives with this niece of yours, Uncle Silas.

We have a little quarrel and she wants to make a whole federal case out of it.

Come on, we'll miss our plane.

Wait-wait a minute.

You... still want to marry her?

I'm ready to start serving time as soon as the trial is over.

And Clary?

Say, she proposed to me and I'm not letting her out.

I'll sue her for breach of promise.

Steve, Clary is not going to go to Winona.

She's going to come up here to head me off.

Oh, plane or train?

Oh, never mind. We'll find her.

Now, let's take this thing the easy way.

Well, you do it your way, but I'm meeting that five o'clock plane from San Francisco.

If she isn't on that, I'll meet the 5.15 train.

Oh, gosh, Steve, this is the grandest thing you ever did, mark me.

But after me sabotaging your pants, too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This all the people on the plane?

Sure.

Come on, you've got to get me to Union Station in seven minutes.

Why?

Because if you don't get me there in seven minutes, you'll be ex-Chief Duggan.

Turn on the siren!

We did it in six minutes and a half.

But what's the deal?

If I don't give her this key to the city soon, all she'll get is a piece of wire to pick the lock.

Who? Who are we meeting?

Come on.

- I know, but who? - Come on, music!

Why? Where are we going?

Who are you meeting on the train?

Oh, oh, oh, oh...

Well, hello. Welcome to our fair city.

Hello, Stevie boy.

Those for me?

- No, not exactly, but... - I didn't think so.

See you later, Stevie boy.

Something is rotten in the state of Puget City.

But who are we supposed to meet?

The only one we know from Maine is mayor Standish, and she's gone back.

She has.

Hasn't she?

We'll know soon.

Here it is.

- Hello, Steve. - Uncle Silas, this is Fire Chief Duggan.

Judge Standish. - Hi, Chief.

How are you?

She's here!

Yes, yes, she drove up with some of the other mayors.

Steve, maybe you'd better let me talk to her first.

Well, okay, but you tell her she can't toy with my affections.

My city fathers will be down here with their shotgun.

I won't see him, Uncle Silas.

I don't want to have anything to do with that man.

Anything.

- He can hear you. - Well, let him.

It's no news to him.

He knows what he is.

He's a cheap roughneck.

I'm a cheap roughneck.

He's deceitful, and he's a boorish brute.

I'm deceitful.

Clary, please.

Whatever your personal feelings are,

you must remember you're a public official and so is he.

Well, you can't refuse the city's hospitality.

Well, he's brought you a key to the city.

I'll poke it right in his eye.

Well, that part's all right as long as you see him.

He loves you, Clary.

He told me so.

He told me all about the quarrel, said it was all his fault.

Did he tell you what happened in his hotel room after the quarrel?

- Hotel r... - Yes.

- No. - No?

What happened?

Well, ask him.

Hear anything?

If you don't want to tell me what happened...

No, huh?

Well, there's always Ralph.

Ralph has always wanted to love honor and obey you.

But don't tell him about Steve.

Ralph's a jealous brute.

He's liable to stop stirring his maple sugar and go after Steve with a spoon.

Ralph's very sweet.

Clary.

I have been making difficult decisions for a long time.

But this one's out of my hands.

This one's in your heart.

Be sure you listen to it.

Oh, Steve.

What happened in your hotel room after the quarrel?

Nothing. I had to leave town.

What?

Well, I'll start at the beginning.

Duncan was waiting for me with a telegram.

She brought my coat back and... - She?

Yeah, Sheila brought my...

Sheila.

Hey, Harvard.

May I come? I can explain everything.

Come on, now, Harvard. You're not being fair.

Even the criminals have to stand for it.

Harvard.

You're just being stubborn. Now, let me explain.

Say, I'm coming in there if I have to break down this door.

You've seen the last of me, Mayor Fisk.

I'd rather be an old maid all the rest of my life than the wife...

Than the wife of a man who would... Well, you'd beat your wife. I know you would.

You're just the type.

Call my secretary and tell her to have a marriage license made out.

Hello.

Hello!

Brute force. That's all you understand.

But... Clary.

Break the door down, will you?

Well, if you've got so much brawn, let's see you come in now.

Clary, I'm trying to tell you. He's gone.

Hello, City Hall. I want Mayor Fisk's office.

Please, this is Chief Duggan. I want it in the hurry too.

But... But...

But he's got to be here.

They're ganging up on him.

They'll ruin him. It'll mean a recall.

But I... What?

Calm, calm, Clary. Let me in.

Oh!

What?

Moving.

I'm sorry to break in like this.

Well, it's quite consistent with all your other actions.

But I had to explain.

Physical violence never solved anything.

Okay.

I want to apologize to you for raising my voice and acting like a heel.

Well, you certainly did.

And if you'd listen, instead of jumping to conclusions, I could explain that Sheila came to my room

to bring back my coat so that I could catch a plane.

But you won't listen.

I'm listening, Steve.

Harvard.

Clary, are you all right?

Clary!

Well... - Secretary Taggart.

The counselor order... There's a meeting at the city hall.

Well, there's a much more important one right here.

It's an emergency. Taggart's there. They're pulling the fast c...

Calm down.

Henshaw's turning loose his big guns. It's a steamroller.

They'll ruin you. It'll mean a recall.

This is the showdown.

He's on his way.

Oh, goodbye.

I'm going to wire my resignation. I think one mayor in the family is enough.

You better wait. If this meeting is what I think it is, you'll be it.

Oh?

...like this idea, you know. It's a very difficult thing.

Gentlemen, may I present Her Honor, Mayor Standish of Winona, Maine.

- How do you do? - Your Honor.

U.S. Circuit Judge Silas Standish.

How are you, Judge.

What's going on here?

Good afternoon, Your Honor.

Oh, I don't believe I've met Mayor Standish.

But I think you know Sheila.

Who called this meeting?

You did.

Or rather, I called it in your name.

Mr. Henshaw wasn't pleased with the way things went this morning.

And in the light of some new information from our mutual friend from San Francisco...

You think you might like me to reconsider, is that it?

Yeah.

You have it with you, don't you, baby?

And what is the nature of this new information?

As if I didn't know.

Well, let me see.

Inciting a riot.

Arrested in an alley.

Suspicion of bothering a child.

Impersonating a child.

Drunk charges.

And some photo stamps.

You don't actually intend to use that, do you?

As a matter of fact, I do.

You see, Steve is a pretty tough opponent.

We have a certain business problem here.

Steve keeps saying no.

And he thinks this new information might induce me to say yes.

Oh. And if Mayor Fisk refuses?

Well, the elections are coming up.

Your own, too.

This type of thing could be very damaging.

Oh, I see.

Why do you want to be a party to a thing like this?

Stevie just didn't turn out to be the kind of a friend I wanted him to be.

Well, a girl has to live.

I bring his coat back in the middle of the night, and what do I get?

A brush off.

Steve, you were telling the truth, weren't you?

Of course. And now you'll never doubt me again.

Oh, well, I didn't say exactly that.

And if you ever see me holding hands with a beautiful girl,

you'll know it's all in the line of duty.

Oh, of course.

And if you should come home unexpectedly, and you see a man climbing out of the window,

you'll simply know he's the meter reader, won't you?

Oh, well, I'm going to work at home.

Oh, my goodness, that'll please me more then, you know why?

I hate to break up this tender moment, but the council is waiting.

We want your signature on that bill, or your resignation.

If we don't get one of the other, the morning papers will demand your recall.

Look, I'm not concerned with all this mud.

I've had little of it on me before, thanks to you and Henshaw.

But you're not going to drag anybody else into it.

I never slugged a woman in my life, but I want that information.

And if I don't get it, I'll have you arrested on drunk charges.

We have a nice jail here in Puget City.

Neat, clean, but a little confining.

Mayor Fisk is a little impetuous. I'll take it.

I don't think he'll want to have me arrested.

Stand back, boys. Stand back.

I'm saying the mayor comes out feet first.

You've got yourself a bet. You want to get in?

- I've never gambled. - Here, it's a sure thing, Uncle Silas.

Hey, George, a sure thing isn't a gamble, is it?

Been away from the docks too long, you're getting a little rusty.

You should aim for the throat, Taggart.

How's your throat feel?

- Go ahead, open. - Uh-uh, you. You, come on, Chief.

Let's see. Let's see what...

Sheila.

- This is to Henshaw. - Okay.

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Get out of my way.

Now, wait a minute.

I hate violence, but I advise you not to try anything funny.

Are you kidding?

No, I'm just warning you.

As one of the few girls in a men's college, I learned how to defend myself.

Why, I'll tear you apart.

Sorry.

When I think of my intentions on Telegraph Hill...

It's a quartet.

What?

Come on, you've had enough.

Oh, you want more?

Should we make it a two-mayor parlay?

A buck on the mayor from Winona.

Oh.

You don't learn very easily, do you?

Look out!

You're getting off easy. I'm gonna marry her.

What a meeting! I made back everything I lost at the dog tank.

Here you go.

You know what to do with that?

I do? I mean, I do!

Come on, boys, he's coming.

Where is he taking us?

To the fish.

Why, chief!

Don't worry now. I got everything under control.

Or have I?

Give this to Henshaw. He's washed up in this town.

The meeting's adjourned.

No.

Oh, darlin'!

Escort this young lady to the airport and give

Mayor Fisk any ticket you may get on the way.

Yes, ma'am.

Happy landing!

Everything's all right, though, Steve. I burned it.

Oh, oh, thanks, chief. You're right on the ball.

Listen to the key to the city. It's making music.

Oh, no. That's the powerful West Wind.