Original subtitles

♪ A Netflix Original ♪

♪ I want y'all to meet my family ♪

♪ They're coming down south To stay with me ♪

- ♪Big Moz ♪ - ♪ Do you love me? ♪

- ♪ Yep ♪ - ♪ I'm Cocoa! ♪

♪ Jade in the house I've got a lot to say ♪

♪ I'm a big-sis, can't-miss renegade ♪

♪ Call me Shaka now I'm the, I'm the chief rocker now ♪

♪ Mazzi, Mazzi, Mazzi, Mazzi Mazzi, that's me ♪

♪ Little mommy, I'm Ami ♪

♪ Singing loud and having fun ♪

♪ It's Family Reunion ♪

How much longer, M'Dear? My head is burning!

It's not even on high heat.

Baby, you are a Black woman. You need to toughen up.

My hair's gonna be like Zendaya's, right?

Even better.

Whoever that is.

Okay. What should I wear that says, "The Woman Who Does It All"?

You can't fit into my clothes. Sorry, you just can't.

Now that Jess Simms is interviewing me

for her "Women Who Do It All" spotlight, somebody's been sipping the haterade.

Oh, please!

I was Mother of the Year for 15 years running,

and would have been 16

if that durn Daniel hadn't burned the post office down.

This recognition is a game changer

for C By Cocoa.

Did you know previous honorees were Stacey Abrams and Michelle Obama?

Really?

Oh, I just think it's a shame Michelle and I have never met.

- Oh, she'd love me. - Me too.

Uh-uh.

You don't know.

Well, thank you, anyway, for helping me by doing Ami's hair.

Oh, no problem.

- Can I have some of your sweet tea? - Oh, no, honey. This is Daddy's diet tea.

Specially formulated to cleanse your colon and flatten your tummy.

The pants you want me to wear are tight.

Oh, no, honey, I coordinated your outfit with the kids.

Oh, it's no problem. I was an elite athlete.

I know how to kick my metabolism into gear and lose two inches in an hour.

All right, well, be careful, hon.

Cocoa is right, Moz.

The herbs in that tea are potent.

Uh, who here has won a Super Bowl?

I know what I'm doing, guys.

Well, when your Super Bowl-winning behind

is laid out in the street having a stroke, don't call me.

Just joking!

Oh, M'Dear will save ya.

Ain't nothing gonna happen to my baby.

C by Cocoa. How can I help you?

Uh, tracking number for what?

Oh!

Right, right! The... the necklaces.

Oh, of course I did not forget.

Um, I'm on my way to FedEx.

Well, what did "The Woman Who Does It All" forget to do?

Uh... well, the Boston Women in Action Group

ordered 30 "Vote Like a Girl" necklaces.

In all the excitement of my interview,

I forgot I promised to have them there by tomorrow.

Oh, well, that's easy. FedEx's last pickup is at 5 p.m.

You do have all 30 necklaces done, right?

Most of them.

Just 28 more to go.

Oh, well...

...when they said you could do it all, I guess they didn't mean math.

♪ Yeah, yeah, uh ♪

Cocoa, how are you gonna finish the necklaces

and get ready for your interview?

Watch me.

Michelle wouldn't quit, Stacey wouldn't quit,

and neither will I.

Why? Because, like them, I can do it all.

Hey. You guys want this?

Didn't Deon win that for you at the county fair?

Yeah. We used to call it "our baby,"

but now that I'm breaking up with him, I just realized how ugly it is.

Well, I guess he takes after his mama.

You're breaking up with Deon?

Oh, yeah. We always have to do his activities,

and he's never interested in doing anything I want to do.

Well, in his defense, the stuff you're into is usually pretty corny.

Oh, okay. Like sunset hayrides and skating in the park?

The things you do with Morgan?

Are you calling me corny?

If you were any cornier, we could pour milk on you and eat you for breakfast.

You're right. But just to make Morgan happy.

Good for you, Shaka.

Healthy relationships involve compromise,

and if Deon's not willing to do that for you, Jade,

then you're making the right decision.

Mom!

Hey, come on. Put your shoes on so we can go hoop.

Gotcha!

That's for this morning.

Pouring water on me and making me think I wet the bed.

You asked for it.

Oh, yeah?

Well, if you want war, then war it shall be.

I will savor my victory over your bones.

So let it be written.

So let it be done.

What did I tell you kids about leaving your stu...

Mommy, you have to fix this right now! I look like Maxine Waters!

Not quite that good, but close. I can't believe you don't just love it.

If it were 1960, I'd be killing the game, but it's not!

Okay, okay.

Ami, I am working on a big order, okay? I will fix your hair as soon as I can.

M'Dear has made you look beautiful and glamorous, like Dorothy Dandridge,

and you don't appreciate it?

I don't know who that is.

Yet you know every member of that STB.

BTS.

Whatever!

It's a doggone shame, but, baby, I don't blame you.

I blame your mama.

I blame you too. You let her do this to me!

Hi, Mrs. McKellan.

Hi, Deon.

Let me get Jade.

Uh, Deon's here!

And remember,

you're gonna be just fine.

Okay.

Hi, Deon.

Jade,

I think we should break up.

What?

You wanna break up with me?

Yes. You're cool, but we have different interests.

I know, but at least I went to all your smelly karate tournaments.

- I thought you liked karate. - No. No, I liked you.

I mean, would it have killed you to do one hayride?

Let's not point fingers. It's nobody's fault.

No, no, it's definitely your fault,

which is why I was gonna break up with you.

Right.

I'll see you around.

Deon just broke up with me.

Honey, I know that did not go how we expected,

but it is what you wanted, right?

No.

I wanted to break up with him.

Ha!

I beat him on announcing it on Insta.

Jade, this is not a contest.

Yes, it is.

♪ Girl, your smile is like a rainbow ♪

♪ So pretty and bright ♪

♪ You're my lucky star, girl ♪

♪ If loving you is wrong I don't wanna be... ♪

Man, you guys, my mind is playing tricks on me.

Where was I?

♪ You're my lucky star, girl ♪

♪ If loving you is wrong I don't wanna be right ♪

Check and mate, fool!

So it's as bad as it looks?

No.

You were busy, so I thought I'd fix my hair by giving myself bangs,

and now I'm a monster!

Ami, we still have an hour before the crew gets here.

I only have 12 necklaces to make. I can fix this.

Me too. Here's the glue and the hair.

Oh God.

Um, just give me a few minutes.

What else could possibly happen?

Hello!

- Jess Simms! - Yes!

What are you doing here? I mean, now.

Oh, traffic was light, so we're here a bit early.

I'm guessing that's not a problem? You are "The Woman Who Does It All."

Right. Yes. That's true-ish.

Uh, I just need a few more minutes. You know, doing it all takes time.

Oh, no problem. We'll just stay here and we'll get some B-roll.

Better make it some C-roll and D-roll too.

Is it a fire?

- Where's the fire? - Fire!

Oh God!

Everybody, save yourselves!

No fire! But it is an emergency.

Jess Simms is here. I need to get myself together,

I have to finish this order, and I need all of you to focus and get ready.

Don't worry, babe. I got you.

Okay. Me too.

Kids, let's get out of your mother's way and let her handle her business.

M'Dear!

You just did a 360!

What can't I do?

Except stand up.

Help me!

I threw my back out. Get that thing out the way!

Threw my back out.

Oh, Moz!

Moses McKellan as we knew him is gone, ladies and gentlemen.

I've lost everything, except the fat around my waist.

I mean, who am I?

You're my handsome husband who needs to stop cheating on me with Little Debbie.

Here.

Spanx? Babe, these are for women.

They're also for handsome men who have teeny love handles.

No way!

I'll put 'em on now.

- Hey. - Hey.

I just came in to check on you.

Um, your pain meds should have kicked in by now. How are you feeling?

The same.

That stuff has no effect on me. I got a strong constitution.

Well, this gun should help.

Oh, I'm too young and beautiful for you to put me out of my misery.

No. This is a Theragun.

It'll work the kinks out of your back. Here, roll over.

- Oh, okay. Cocoa, hold on. - All right. Give it a second.

Wait! Ooh!

Ooh!

Oh, that feels good.

This is pretty.

Thanks. They're almost finished. I just have to polish and pack them.

Oh, well, I can help you with that.

Jess wants to know if you're ready.

Um...

A-Almost!

Just a few more minutes!

Look what Deon just posted.

I miss him so much.

Oh, show me, Jade.

Go on, Cocoa. You know you got to get that hair laid.

What? It's already done.

I'll just do it again.

- Look. This is Deon when he was a baby. - Oh.

Look at that smile.

We would have had such cute kids.

- What? Girl, don't be bringing no... - ...children into this house.

Oh, I... I think your meds are kicking in.

Oh, please.

I'm fine.

- Uh-oh! Somebody's calling you. - Oh, no!

- What? - You accidentally called Deon!

Oops! Okay, hang up.

Hello? Hello?

Oh my God. Now he's gonna think I'm stalking him.

Well, just calm down. Call him back and tell him that I...

I... I... I'll tell him I did it by accident.

Okay, good idea.

Hello?

Hi! It's... it's Jade.

Uh, that, uh... I'm so sorry about hanging up on you earlier.

It was actually M'Dear's fault. She wants to say sorry.

Oh my gosh! I'm sorry. Our neighbor's dog just got into our house!

Uh, hey! Hey, get out of here, Cujo!

Get out of here!

I am so sorry. I have gotta go.

Look, babe. Got my pants on.

- Nice, honey. - Mm-hmm.

- Can you breathe? - No.

But who cares?

I get all my air from you, Cocoa. "The Woman Who Can Do It All."

Not so sure that's true anymore.

I still have to get myself together for this interview

and, honey, I don't know if I can fill this order.

- Crazy talk. Let me tell you something. - No, I really need to finish.

You are smart.

- Driven. - Go on.

A fantastic mother,

an amazing wife,

and you...

Ooh!

...may as well throw me in a swamp, 'cause I am officially a hippopotamus.

No, no, no, you're not, hon. It's... it's... it's just a tiny tear.

My metabolism is slowing down, my muscles are turning into marshmallows,

and the other day, I found three gray hairs.

All right, uh, Moz, stand up.

Come on, stand up.

Okay.

Catch me.

Whoa!

Are you okay?

Very.

Come on. No marshmallows in these muscles.

Listen, you're not just the strongest man I know.

You're the sexiest.

- You think so? - Oh, I know so.

- Now, take your pants off. - Do we have time for this?

No, no! Honey, I'm gonna fix them.

- Oh. - And then you could go tell Jess

how perfect I am.

And later tonight, I'll remind you how perfect you are.

Mmm.

- Thanks, babe. - Aww.

Hey, Mom, that lady says she has enough B-roll. When will you be ready?

Thank you.

Deon.

What are you doing here?

I miss you.

I had a talk with my brother, and he made me realize that

breaking up with you was a big mistake.

You were a great girlfriend.

Well, I was hoping you would realize that. Come here.

You really tried to make me happy.

You always did what I wanted to do.

You're the best.

Wow.

Once you say it out loud, I realize our relationship was totally one-sided.

I'm sorry, but I... I can't keep putting you before me.

Fine, I'll watch The Crown with you.

No. Deon, I'm sorry, but...

I think we're better off as friends.

I guess we got it right the first time, huh?

Yeah. We did.

I know you were listening.

No, I wasn't.

I'm proud of you.

- Thank you, Mom. - Aww, I love you.

Okay, guys, come down! Jess, I think we're ready.

Oh, great.

- You look great, babe. - Thank you.

Hey, pretty girl.

Yes, what a beautiful family.

This is gonna be awesome, guys. All right, Lena, start rolling.

Uh, hold the roll, Lena. A member of our beautiful family is missing.

Where's Shaka?

- Shaka, get down here! - I can't.

My goodness. I wonder what's gotten into that boy?

Boy, get down here now before I come up there and make you regret it!

Nothing physical. No.

Ya know, she doesn't... We don't believe in spanking.

Look! It's Shaka Smurf!

Shaka, this isn't funny.

I know. Blame Mazzi. He put blue dye in the soap.

Yeah, that's what you get when you declare war.

- Now blue boy has blue... - I'm gonna kill you!

No, no!

You know, kids.

Boys, stop it! Stop it!

- Uh, Dad, are you wearing Spanx? - What?

Uh, uh, no. They... they make them for men now.

- For men, yeah. - They do.

They're amazing.

My wig!

That's enough!

Everyone, just shut up and sit down!

Jess, I am so sorry.

I can't keep this up any longer. I am not "The Woman Who Can Do It All."

Look, Cocoa, no woman is, okay? Every woman struggles, just like you.

That's why I wanted to come to your house.

To see the truth of it all, instead of you coming down to the studio.

Look, this is what people need to see.

Oh.

Okay.

Well, if I can keep it real, I'll do the interview.

Real is all that matters.

All right, Lena, start rolling.

♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Hey, hey ♪

Poor thing.

Wore herself out "doing it all" today.

I'd say you remind me of me, but we both know...

I'm one of a kind.

Oh, but I am proud of you.

When Moz found you, he found a good thing.

Thank you.

You're awake?

Yes.

I also heard you saying that I remind you of you.

What?

I said that?

Whatever you put in them pills got me talkin' out of my head.

I gotta get rid of those things.

♪ Hey, hey ♪

Diva out.