Original subtitles

♪ A Netflix Original ♪

♪ I want y'all to meet my family ♪

♪ They're coming down south To stay with me ♪

- ♪ Big Moz ♪ - ♪ Do you love me? ♪

- ♪ Yep ♪ - ♪ I'm Cocoa! ♪

♪ Jade in the house, I got a lot to say ♪

♪ I'm a big sis, can't-miss renegade ♪

- ♪ Call me Shaka now ♪ - ♪ Hey! ♪

- ♪ I'm the, I'm the chief rocker now ♪ - ♪ Hey! ♪

♪ Mazzi, Mazzi, Mazzi, Mazzi, Mazzi That's me ♪

- ♪ Little mommy, I'm Ami ♪ - ♪ Hey! ♪

♪ Singing loud and having fun ♪

♪ It's Family Reunion ♪

Okay, fam,

lay your eyes on the first client from Jade's Makeover Magic.

Oh! Give 'em a spin.

Oh!

I was cute before,

but with Jade's creative touch, study hall is a study ball!

I do everything: hair, makeup, styling.

DM me to sprinkle a little magic into your life.

Bye, guys.

- Yes, girl! - Oh!

I never would have thought I could rock vinyl leggings.

You look good.

- Girl... - What?

That better be the pants.

My bad.

I forgot to walk with my legs apart.

Oh, hey, guys.

- Can I give you a makeover? - You can't improve on perfection.

Oh, give her the smile.

See?

Is that peach fuzz on your lip?

Excuse me?

This is mustache hair.

Thirty-nine strands, to be exact.

Mm.

And I have six.

Oh!

- Ow! - Now you have five.

Get outta here.

I need a client whose look is dated and tired.

Yeah, like a diamond in the rough.

Pretty but not making her living off of it, you know?

Exactly.

Someone who will thank me for coming into their tacky little life

to give a ray of hope.

- Yeah. - Who could that be?

Girls!

Look at what I just finished making.

Isn't it fabulous?

- Won't He do it? - Yes.

- Won't He do it? - Yes.

- Yes! Oh! - He gon' do it.

- He provides! - Uh-huh!

Whoo! Yes! Strut, M'Dear! Strut!

- Work it! - Whoa.

I am too old to work.

Maz...

Mazzi...

Well, what do you think of the makeup?

I gave you a smokey eye.

Ooh.

The only thing smokey I like is Robinson.

I tried to tell her but...

"No. I'm the artist."

M'Dear, you promised you would keep an open mind.

Okay, will you at least try on...

this wig?

It would look really good on you.

Fine.

I'll show you.

I can make a lot of stuff look good,

but I definitely will not look good in this.

Ooh! And you said I wouldn't look good in this.

I can pull off anything.

See, that's why you never listen to a hatter.

- Hater. - You know what I meant.

I'm gonna go check myself out in the bedroom.

The light's better in there.

Jade! Have you checked your Insta?

You're blowing up.

- What? - Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. I have a bunch of DMs asking for styling appointments.

I... I can't keep up with all of this.

I can help. I mean, I was voted best-dressed in the fourth grade.

You wore a uniform in the fourth grade.

Yeah, but my sock game was on point.

Come on. I can cut hair. I know about skincare...

Okay, okay. Slow your roll, Vera Wrong.

Look, you can be my assistant.

Watch me and learn.

Fine... I'll do it.

Okay. Now, go assist me by cleaning my room.

Come on, Moz.

This moment is not too big for you.

You got this.

If talking to yourself was a sport, you'd be in the Hall of Fame.

Shh! I'm trying to focus.

You look constipated.

A stack says you can't do it.

A thousand dollars?

Two stacks says I can and will.

You better be talking about pancakes.

Moses Deuteronomy McKellan, can I talk to you?

Ooh! She used your middle name. That means you in trouble, trouble...

Oh, come on.

Cocoa doesn't scare me.

What's wrong, baby? You're scaring me.

A $2,000 bet on jacks?

I'm not gonna lose. They don't call me Blackjack for nothing.

No one calls you Blackjack.

And no matter how many times you ask us, it's stupid.

What's taking so long, Blackjack?

See? Huh?

Moz, you know our financial situation.

Why would you take such a risk?

It's not a risk. I'm on fivesies. It's in the bag.

Now it's down the drain.

Wha...

Every time I get a good jacks game going, somebody's wife goes and messes it up.

Man, this new Pinot is excellent. How's everything going at the winery?

Really good, man. I'm expanding through Northern Georgia.

Just bought a couple hundred more acres. We'll start planting next season.

Look at you, man! Killing the grape game.

Thanks to you, man.

You loaned me that 200K when the banks laughed at me.

Oh, I laughed at you, too, but that money was a gift.

You're my boy, man. I'm proud of you, Nigel.

I'm proud of you, too, man.

You're building generational wealth, leaving something behind for your kids.

And you even moved in with your parents to help them out. That's big.

Yep. You know, they're my folks.

Gotta do what I gotta do, right?

Shoot. I gotta go.

Supermodels don't like it when you're late.

Supermodel? Let me see that.

Mm!

Man, I'm hating that you don't get to wake up

to the same beautiful woman day after day after day like me.

- Mm... - Blackjack, please.

My science teacher told me to give you this.

- What is it? - I don't know.

But when a teacher hands you an envelope addressed to your parents,

you can either face the music or run away from home.

And I'm too pretty to live on the streets.

I'll go get M'Dear's belt.

Hold on.

Honey, this says you tested so well,

she's recommending you to the school's prestigious robotics program.

And look...

It's only $5,000.

Wow. That's very prestigious.

That's nothing compared to the price that I have to pay.

- Wh... What are you talking about? - I'm top of the food chain at school.

Being stuck in a program with nerds could ruin my rep.

Oh, don't be silly.

Girls love intelligent guys.

Which is why you're with the big jock over there?

Uh, excuse me.

I was also on the chess team.

I sat on the bench, but I still got a jacket, so...

I'm gonna pass on that program.

Honey, before you say no,

just take a look and make an informed decision.

And then, if I don't wanna do it?

Well, your parents would be deeply disappointed and very sad.

So it's my responsibility to bear the weight...

Boy, you taking that class.

That voice always makes my butt clench.

Babe... love it when you take charge.

Say something else.

Get in the kitchen and make me a chicken pot pie. Mm.

Ugh!

You always take it too far.

What? I can make the pie.

I got this one.

Welcome to Macintosh Mattress,

where making sure you get a good night's sleep

keeps us awake at night.

Hey, you're Macintosh Mike. I recognize you from your commercials.

And I recognize you from your playing days, Moses McKellan.

- Oh, come on. - I'm a big fan.

And today's your lucky day, because today we can't say no.

- Great. So you'll say yes to anything? - You have my word.

Okay, uh, I know you guys have a 30-day exchange policy,

but I bought this mattress 32 days ago,

and I'd like to exchange it for a softer one.

Yes, we cannot do that.

But you just said you couldn't say no.

That's why I said yes.

Are you refusing to let me exchange it?

Yes, that's right.

That's just like saying no.

Yes, but it's not, because I said yes.

I'm just fooling with you, Moz.

- For you, I'll make an exception. - Thanks, man.

Hey, uh, let me ask you something.

Have you ever thought about getting into entertainment?

Hmm, not really.

Though, I have been told, with my looks,

I'd easily transition from football to action hero, like The Rock.

Right.

Well, today is your lucky day,

because I'm directing a short film and I'm looking for a star.

Really?

Okay.

But I'd need to see a script first. And I don't do nudity.

No problem. But I gotta warn you. You do have some big shoes to fill.

And a big mattress.

You want me to be a mascot?

No, not a mascot.

The next Macintosh spokes-mattress for our new commercial.

You said short film.

It's like a short-film commercial.

Thanks, but I think I'm gonna pass.

Hold on.

What if I sweeten the deal...

with this?

Wow! For that money, I'd consider nudity.

So, you're in?

- Well, today we can't say no, right? - That's right.

So, yes, I'm not interested.

Well, w... wait. That sounded like a no.

Yes.

Wow!

Shaka, this is really cool.

Yeah, I gotta admit... it is.

Ah, you must be Shaka.

Rahmanhsodf.

Which is "I'm Mr. Dean" in Klingon.

Class, let's make our newest student feel welcome.

No, no, no, no. In English.

Shaka!

Welcome, Shaka.

Your temperature is 97.6, confirming you're a cool dude.

Thanks!

Please, take a seat over there.

Mom, feel free to observe.

Oh, I don't want to intrude.

Okay, class.

Now, the goal of this program

is to make a difference in the world through robotics.

Amir, show us what your dance-bot can do.

Ooh!

♪ P-Party poppin' ♪

- Whoo! - Whoa!

Cool!

- Right, Shaka? - Very.

But it'll be even cooler if I got your name.

Deja.

Okay. Now, I've been working on Pete over here.

He is a robotic firefighter that'll keep humans out of harm's way.

Pete, extinguish!

So, well, that's embarrassing.

Okay.

Okay, class, back to work.

And, uh, Shaka, you can go ahead and team with Deja.

Well, if you insist.

Uh... hope this little demonstration didn't scare you off.

Oh, not at all.

I'm just really excited to have Shaka participate in this program.

Excellent.

- Here is the enrollment package. - Oh, thank you.

Whoa!

Another $5,000? Is this a mistake?

Well, these are the additional class fees.

You know, uh, textbooks, lab fees, field trips, et cetera.

How about we take off the "et cetera"?

That would be my salary.

Oh, come on.

You can't donate a little time?

You know, for the kids.

Bro.

Sis.

I'm single,

and I drive a 1996 Dodge Caravan with robots in the back.

You know how suspicious women are when you drive that with no kids?

Have you tried any of the dating apps?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I even invented one.

Only person on it was me, though.

I am so lonely.

Here you go.

But they want you to be the spokesman?

Not a spokesman, spokes-mattress.

Like I'd ever wear that ridiculous costume.

But it's a job that pays, right?

All money ain't good money, M'Dear.

I mean, what about my dignity?

I understand.

Poverty is way more dignified.

I knew you'd get it.

Dad, the robots were so cool.

One danced. Another one did math problems. One of them even did the robot.

- Well, I mean, you had to be there. - Mm-hmm. That's pretty good.

So, I take it you like the class?

I love the class.

Moz, we can't afford the class.

Whoa.

These fees are outrageous.

I was barely able to move some things around to pay the 5,000 for the class.

How do they expect us to come up with another five grand for field trips?

Where they going? Mars?

Well, maybe you should reconsider this job offer you got.

Oh, you got an offer? You gonna take that job.

- I'm not doing it. - Oh, you doing it.

And I'm doing it.

Welcome to Macintosh Mattress. I'm Mattress Moz.

My plushness is like sleeping on a hug.

Touch me!

Oh, yeah, sure.

Thanks.

I'm glad you convinced me

to go with in-store promotions instead of commercials.

Oh, well, you know, I try.

Nigel! Crap!

W... W... What are you doing?

You really are an excellent dancer.

Well, uh, thank you. I'm actually a former Chippendale.

You're looking at the original Magic Mike.

- Huh. Really? - You wanna see me twerk?

Uh...

Later! Bathroom break!

How about now?

M'Dear, you look incredible.

Oh, thank you.

You're getting a ton of likes, M'Dear.

Really?

Oh! And a bunch of gentlemen are wondering if you're single.

Oh! Really?

Whoa!

I go to the store and come back to a new wife.

Is that my Melly or Lola Falana? Huh?

Oh, stop it, Jeb.

Well, you have me to thank for it, Grandpa.

That's what BigBaddyKane305 says.

- "Thank you, Jade." - Uh...

And who is BigBaddyKane305?

Some OG player on Instagram.

He said M'Dear looks "finger-licking good."

Oh, you gotta take them pictures down.

I'm the only one who's gonna be checking you out.

Oh! Don't be jealous, Jeb.

You know you are my one and only Wu-Tang.

Boo thang.

Oh, I know what she meant.

♪ Who's that lady? ♪

♪ Who's that lady? ♪

♪ Beautiful lady ♪

♪ Who's that lady? ♪

♪ Lovely lady ♪

♪ Who's that lady? ♪

- ♪ Real fine lady ♪ - ♪ Who's that lady? ♪

♪ Hear me callin' out to you 'Cause that's all that I can do ♪

♪ Your eyes tell me to pursue But you say, look, yeah ♪

♪ But don't touch, baby ♪

♪ Nah, nah, nah, don't touch ♪

♪ Who's that lady? ♪

♪ Who's that lady? ♪

- ♪ Sexy lady ♪ - ♪ Who's that lady? ♪

♪ Beautiful lady ♪

- ♪ Who's that lady? ♪ - ♪ Talkin' about a real fine lady ♪

♪ Who's that lady? ♪

Wow, Amir!

Hey, if I believed in grades, you would be getting an A for Ablingadaum.

- Klingon? - No. Dothraki.

I'm multi-geek-lingual.

All right, gang, let's relax those brains, and we'll pick it back up in ten?

Amir's robot keeps getting better.

It's an entertaining little novelty.

I wanna build something that will help people,

like Mr. Dean's Firefighting Pete.

Yeah. I wish he could get it to work.

Do you know how many lives it could save?

It would be monumental.

Well, you know, Monumental is my middle name.

- Really? - Actually, it's Zulu.

My dad thinks he's clever.

But it can't be that hard to fix Pete.

I don't think you should be fooling around with Mr. Dean's robot.

It's all good. I got this.

All I have to do is tilt the infrared sensor...

recalibrate the axis,

and alternate the positioning of the hose,

and booyah.

Wow! Shaka, you did it!

No doubt, baby. Always bet on the kid.

Uh-oh.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! What's happening to Pete?

Did I do that?

You know, the show from the '90s? Urkel?

Nobody?

I'll go get the mop.

Smart guy.

- Shaka, what were you thinking? - Answer your mother.

- I... - Quiet! I'm talking.

Do you have any idea of the sacrifices your father and I made

to pay for this class?

- She asked you a question. - I...

Didn't I say I'm talking?

That's your child.

Mr. Dean, we are so sorry.

- We will pay for all of the damage. - We will?

Of course we will.

And I assure you, Shaka will be punished for his foolishness.

I'm sorry for messing with your robot. I don't blame you for kicking me out.

I have no intention of kicking you out of this program.

You don't?

No, of course not!

No, science encourages curiosity.

When I was Shaka's age, a rocket I built burned down my parents' dream home.

- They beat you? - Like a rented mule.

Mm-hmm.

But I learned. Right? And failure is a huge part of learning.

And sometimes, science is messy.

Someday, Shaka's curiosity could change the world.

You hear that? I can change the world.

You can also change your plans for the weekend 'cause you're grounded.

I bet Einstein's mother didn't punish him.

Einstein's mother wasn't Black.

Your mother wasn't either.

- Yeah, the toe. Ooh, ooh! - Got it.

Oh, babe, that feels so good.

You know, if you're looking for another career, I think you found it.

But I don't know if I wanna share this with other women.

You can only massage men's feet.

I'll stick with being a human mattress.

- Oh. - Tell them to go away.

My left foot is jealous of my right.

Oh, what up, man?

I'm on my way to the airport. I wanted to holler at you first.

Well, come on in. Cocoa and I aren't doing anything.

Hey, man, were you in that mattress suit at the store yesterday?

Uh, what?

I don't own a mattress suit.

How much of that wine you been drinking? 'Cause you did not see me.

Moz.

It was me.

I took the gig to pay for Shaka's robotics program.

Things tight like that?

Yeah, a couple of bad investments and poor money management,

and you know how it goes.

Why didn't you say anything? Let me help you out.

I don't need any handouts.

Proud Moz.

Have you forgotten that without you or your money,

I wouldn't have my winery?

That money was a gift.

You said that,

but I've always looked at it as an investment.

And it's grown, along with my winery.

Look, come on, man.

Look, if I wanted my money back, I'd ask you.

Can I have my money back?

Wait. This is way more than I gave you.

Yeah, that's your investment

plus your dividends.

And there's more where this came from.

Moz, this is the miracle we've been praying for.

Nigel, I...

- Thanks, man. - Yeah.

Aw!

Y'all are not leaving me outta this.

Don't deposit that check till Friday.

No, for real, though.

Oh, okay. Yep.

Jade!

Since you won't let me style your clients, I decided to take my talents...

♪ To the upper room ♪

...and get my own.

I give you the first client from Mazzi's Makeover Magic,

Grandpa.

Oh!

Hello, handsome!

Is that my Jeb or Shaft?

Pfft.

I guess we're both hotties now.

Oh! Well, in a relationship, it is important to be equally snatched.

I love all the jewelry accents.

- Yes. - Thank you.

Good job.

I underestimated you.

Well, the greats are always underestimated:

Jesus, Obama... Fat Joe.

Look, Melly, I don't like this attention you're getting from these strange men.

Can you just... tone it down a tad?

And waste all this sauce?

Jeb, I got sauce!

Oh!

Another successful makeover.

- Yeah. - Hey.

Hey, Grandpa's a hit with the ladies.

Look.

NewKnees1947 says, "Reverend can lay hands on me anytime."

Well, that don't sound too holy.

And AidensGranny says, "I may have diabetes,

but I'll take a bite out of that yummy chocolate drop."

What?

I'll take a walk and see what the locals think.

Ooh, girl.

Your granddaddy's about to be my second husband.

Little girl, you are no competition for all of this!

Wait, Jeb!

You're not walking the streets without me.

Diva out.