Original subtitles

Shall we begin, Yozakura?

Give me all you've got.

Then let's...

...dance!

Hiya!

Secret Ninja Art:

Secret Ninja Art:

Black Ice!

10,000 Palm Fists of Paradise Hell!

You are too good, Yumi.

Not at all.

I was simply lucky.

Your attacks impress me.

Still, you seem more excited about training than usual.

I had a bad premonition.

Premonition?

Another great war is going to break out, I fear.

SENRAN KAGURA

Swimsuit-filled Festival Eve

Finally!

Finally!

Finally!

We're going to war! Get your game face on, Mizuki!

I'm, like, totally getting that bag on sale!

No one's gonna steal it from me!

My new one-shot's not gonna be finished in time for the con!

Yeah, yeah! I know, right?

Yumi, Yozakura! Welcome back!

You two are so diligent, even in the freezing cold.

C'mon, join me under the covers!

No thank you.

Training warmed me up.

Come, don't be like that.

Yumi, you want an orange?

No thank you!

Yumi just pouted!

Wait, are you mad we didn't train with you?

Hardly.

Geez, don't be such a pouty-wouty.

Look, someone sent us a letter!

Fine, I'll just open it.

Opening of the "Summer in the Dead of Winter"?

It's an invitation to a luxury spa resort.

There's no sender.

Is the resort having some sort of promotion?

Hey, hey! What's a spa resort?

It's a leisure facility with hotel, pool, and hot springs all in once place.

Yay! I wanna go!

Yes!

Thus I would also like to go to this spa resort.

I know, right? We were, like, invited!

You gotta be crazy not to go!

Yeah, yeah!

No one's going!

Huh?

No spa resorts exist on the path of justice.

And I've been meaning to ask, what has gotten into all of you?

Evil has stolen your hearts! I cannot bear to look at you.

Nuh-uh! Evil hasn't stolen anything of ours.

Oh, it has!

Your hearts are stained in debauchery!

Case in point:

Evil!

Evil!

Evil!

They are all evil!

You're so mean, Yumi! Take that back!

I will not!

She's pouting again.

I only want one thing from you girls:

to forget about this spa resort and train with me, like Yozakura—

Actually, um...

What's the matter, Yozakura?

S-See, I was kinda thinking I'd like to go too.

Y-Yozakura?

I spent most of my life raising my young siblings...

...so I've never been to a pool.

I mean...

But we can't afford to be playing around—

Yumicchi, listen!

When you're stuck between two choices, you should decide with roshamboobs!

R-Roshamboobs?

Yup!

Squish 'em together and that's rock.

Spread 'em apart and that's paper.

Cross 'em vertically and that's scissors!

Wh-What is that?

Even Mr. Kurokage said to use roshamboobs when you can't make a decision.

My grandfather would never say that!

No, he did.

I remember it clearly.

Yeah, yeah! He totally did!

I-I don't believe it...

Anyway, let's decide whether we go or not with a little roshamboobs!

Throw down, Yumicchi!

W-Wait! I need to mentally prepare myself!

Here we go!

Roshamboobs!

Rock, paper...

Scissors!

S-Scissors!

One more time!

Yumi plays rock against Shiki's paper.

Which means...

...we're going to the spa resort!

Yay!

N-No way...

I've lost the battle and the right to speak out.

I just hope...

...that nothing terrible happens.

Meat.

Gyudon Take-ya

Meat!

Juicy meat in my mouth.

Stop pretending you're eating meat!

Just listening to you makes my stomach growl.

I may not have emotions, but I still have caloric needs.

Winter is a harsh season for the poor.

Crops become harder to grow and harvest.

They sell meat buns here.

What should we do?

We might be able to afford one.

Well one is more than enough!

All we gotta do is share it!

One meat bun, on the double!

Just a moment, Mirai!

We must pick the biggest of the bunch or all is for naught!

Don't worry, I got this.

I know big ones when I see 'em.

Lady! The one in the middle, please!

Sure thing, little lady.

Hot and steamy meat bun achieved!

Mirai, treat that bun preciously!

Don't you dare drop it!

Homura, you needn't concern yourself!

I couldn't care less if it was covered in dirt!

Now what? Split it into equal parts?

Time is of the essence!

As soon as she opens it, attack!

Roger!

That was good!

But now there's none left.

That wasn't nearly enough food.

Damn!

If only that meat bun was a hundred times bigger!

Haruka! Don't you have something for this?

Well, I'm in the process of developing a drug that can make anything bigger.

But I need to run a few more tests before it's complete.

Haruka, you beautiful thing!

Can you really make anything bigger?

Like maybe my meat buns?

I'm not seeing any meat buns on you.

Don't you mean dumpling wrappers?

Foo on you, Haruka!

Cut it out, Mirai.

Getting angry just uses more calories.

You girls seem down on your luck.

Try reversing it with this.

You can do this, Yomi!

Raffle

You can do it.

Don't waste the nice lady's raffle ticket!

God of Luck, curse me with poverty all you like.

But please, grant my friends a moment of prosperity!

Congratulations!

We did it!

Five tickets to a luxury spa resort!

Yes!

It's almost finished, Miyabi.

Indeed.

Just a little longer until Hebijo rises again.

Like, what's the point of going back to school if Murasaki's not there?

Yeah, yeah! I totally agree!

It's the Three Musketeers, not two.

Sorry. You all must be worried about Murasaki.

Is she still not leaving her room?

Yeah. I think she bought a new console.

I see. That isn't good.

I just wish we had some bait to bring her outside.

I've got bait right here!

No smiling, Ryouna!

If you feel a smile coming, cry instead!

That ugly face of yours was made for snot and tears!

Ryoubi, yell at me more!

Seriously, stop smiling! It makes me want to throw up, you dumb mutt!

Woof, woof!

Ryouna, sorry to interrupt your orgasm...

...but what's this bait you've got?

Well, you see, I've got five tickets to the opening of a luxury spa resort!

How did you get tickets for that?

Last weekend I was on the main street of the shopping district, and...

More!

Give me something even bigger!

Please, Master, throw me something bigger...

...or my mouth won't be satisfied!

More, more!

Woof, woof!

Easy as that!

You are cordially invited to attend. We eagerly await your arrival.

Paradise Ocean Group

One day-use free pass for the opening of "Summer in the Dead of Winter," a Hawaiian luxury spa resort. Admit 1.

I'm not really sure what to say to that.

Above all, she acted for the team.

Ms. Suzune?

The school won't be finished for a while yet.

Go and relax.

Ms. Suzune, you totally get it!

All right.

Then our first order of business is draggin' Murasaki out of her room.

Stop!

I don't want to go outside!

I'm in the middle of a game!

At least let me save!

This is the spa resort I've always dreamed of?

It's just wonderful!

I can't believe such a fantastic place really exists!

Honestly. You're too excited, Yozakura.

Are you still pouting, Yumicchi?

Of course!

The time we're using to play around here...

...could have been used on training and furthering ourselves down the path of justice—

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Besides, we're already here.

It'd be more of a waste if you didn't enjoy yourself!

Just look at this place!

Doesn't it seem super fun?

See? Fun, right?

W-We mustn't!

If we succumb to this temptation, we'll never achieve true justice!

Evil!

Evil!

Evil!

Evil incarnate!

But I'm a good guy!

A-Asuka?

What brings you here?

I'm not the only one here.

Everyone's joining in.

Yay! Are you all here to play?

Yup!

Apparently this place is reserved for invitees only today!

Yay!

Then we can all play together!

I suppose we can't fight on empty stomachs, anyway.

Ms. Suzune told us to relax.

So why don't we call a truce for today?

Okay!

It's not often we're all together at once, after all.

We should hang out!

Y-You have a point.

Okay!

What's the matter?

You don't seem to be having fun.

I was wondering when was the last time I saw everyone looking so happy.

Yumi...

Perhaps I have been too strict with them.

Yumi, one must enjoy what precious opportunities one is given.

Even a food stand will run out of meat.

Homura?

You only live once!

When you're having fun, have a blast!

When you're eating, stuff yourself silly!

That's what we're doing.

Just what I'd expect to hear from someone who lacks discipline.

I don't want to be lectured by some hag who refuses to admit she's no longer in high school.

"Hag"?

It's the truth.

Cut it out, Homura!

We were just starting to get along!

What? Asuka, are you taking Miyabi's side? I misjudged you!

That's my line!

I don't need some goody-two-shoes helping me out!

Geez! I'm just stepping in because you two are so childish!

Who are you calling childish?

I'm older than old!

Yet you wear a student uniform to school!

My point exactly.

Instead of flapping your gums, how about you flash your swords?

I like to get the small fry out of the way first.

Small fry? Looks like she's talking to you, Asuka.

Why am I the small fry?

You're the small fry, Homura!

Hell no I ain't!

Girls, calm down.

Doing battle here would be rude to the resort.

So, if you insist on duking it out right now...

...how about settling this with the ancient Shinobi Chicken Fight?

Shinobi Chicken Fight?

The Shinobi Chicken Fight...

...is a competition between teams of five who have learned the ways of the shinobi.

Teams of five, huh?

That's perfect for us!

Bring it on!

Yomi, can't you suck it in?

Without enough people for a base, we can't participate!

I'll do my best!

I can still eat so much more!

W-Wrong battlefront!

Quit stuffing yourself!

Please, be my base!

Sir, I want some more.

Yomi!

If you can't form a base, you forfeit!

Just sit on the sidelines and watch us win it all!

Damn it all!

Haruka! Don't you have something for this?

Hmm, I might have brought something useful.

This drug paralyzes.

This one makes you dance the Samba.

And this is my unfinished drug that makes anything bigger.

D-Don't you have anything more useful?

How about this?

It's a wooden puppet's seed!

Put it in water and it'll grow into a wooden puppet!

That's it, Haruka!

With a wooden puppet, we'd have enough people for a mount!

I'm still working on this one. It'll take time to fully grow.

Of all the rotten luck!

Now, let's leave the Crimson Squad to their shenanigans and begin this showdown.

Okay!

Let's...

...dance!

Asuka!

You'll never win pussyfooting around like that!

Screw the headbands and go for their jackets!

What? Are you nuts?

Strip 'em and make your own opening!

That's a legit strategy!

As class president, I cannot just sit by and listen to your perverted schemes!

If Hibari were the rider...

Yagyu!

What happened, Yagyu?

Asuka, change places with Hibari this instant!

What?!

Miyabi, the Hanzo girls are a bunch of idiots. They can entertain themselves.

Go for Gessen!

Gotcha!

So embarrassing! I have to hide!

I have to hide my face!

This is all I have!

Muracchi, you're hiding the wrong body part!

Victory is ours!

Why, you...

Don't forget us!

At the same time, huh?

This match is a draw.

It's not over!

I will not accept a draw.

Let us continue until there is a clear winner.

We must take this chance to fight to the bitter end!

But every team's lost their headbands.

How are we supposed to continue?

If they've lost their headband, take their jacket.

If they've lost their jacket, take their underwear!

Fight until your opponents are stripped bare!

What?

Stripped bare? You mean keep going till we're butt-naked?!

I don't think I can do butt-naked.

Don't worry, Miyabi! I'd accept your butt-nakedness with open arms!

Hey, Yumicchi, don't you think butt-naked is going overboard?

I agree.

We should just accept the draw.

But...

But...

Are you worried about that premonition of yours?

Yes.

What's this presence I'm sensing?

Is it Grandpa?

No, it's similar, but more terrible.

It can't be—

I'm not surprised they sensed my presence.

But if they weren't so skilled, this wouldn't be any fun now, would it?

Now, let us begin the eve festivities!

Some early fun in preparation for the great festival to come!

What?

Who are these shinobi?

Is this a new evil shinobi faction?

No, I don't sense the aura of evil shinobi.

They're something darker.

Is this what my premonition has been about?

Is this the beginning of the great war?

Things are turning out exactly like you said!

I would never have expected a battle to break out here!

What do we do, Yumicchi?

We have no choice but to fight!

I like your style, Yumi!

Dunno who y'all are, but if you're gonna attack us...

...we'll beat you into the ground!

Everyone, work together to take them out!

I suppose an alliance would be interesting for a change.

Let us dance, girls!

On it!

They don't seem to be run-of-the-mill shinobi!

We might be in, like, trouble!

We've gotta transform and turn the tables on them!

Okay!

Here comes my transformation, boys and girls!

Huh?

Wait, what? Why can't I transform?

None of us can transform!

Have our powers been suppressed by something greater?

I wish I was home playing video games.

We should have listened to Yumicchi and trained more.

I'm sorry, Yumi.

So sorry, Yumi!

Girls...

Well, this isn't good.

Up a creek without a paddle I guess.

Hikage, can't you tell we're in trouble?

Panic a little, why don't you?

Oh no, we're doomed. Whatever shall we do?

Are you just screwing around because you have no emotions?

Will they make it hurt?

I really hope they do!

And you are just screwy!

They're coming!

Homura, stay sharp!

Asuka, worry about yourself!

I'll be damned if I die here!

Daidoji!

Ms. Suzune?

What's the matter with you?

Don't give up just yet!

This isn't the limit of your powers!

Break the chains that bind you and unleash all your strength!

I know you can do it!

She's right.

We can't afford to fall here.

We must continue to walk the path of the shinobi!

We must stay the path of justice!

There is still one last trump card for us to play.

Let's do it, girls!

Yeah!

Frantic Mode

I'm feeling kinda tired.

Well hello there, little bottle. Are you lonely?

Don't worry, I'll drink you.

Secret Ninja Art: Black Ice!

Nice job, Yomi!

What?!

H-Hey, Ryouna!

Did you take my drug that makes anything bigger? It's not complete!

Ryouna, what the heck are you doing?

Look how big I am!

Isn't it amazing?

No fair.

You can say that again.

This is no time for jokes!

I'm like a monster attacking Tokyo!

Go ahead and attack me, girls!

Haruka, what should we do?

Well, if we can get her to sweat a lot, the drug should wear off faster.

I get it.

Then the only thing we can do is fight and make her work up a sweat.

You're right!

Girls, one more time!

Right!

Let's dance!

It's like you're pricking my whole body with needles!

This is heaven!

What's going on?

Her breasts have grown larger!

Seriously, no fair.

You can say that again.

Give me more!

Blow me away!

What a pervert.

Refreshingly so.

This is wonderful!

I can't hold it anymore!

I see.

So the great war you were talking about...

...was this?

No.

The premonition I had...

...wasn't this joke of a battle.

Boy, I'm tired.

Things ended on a really crazy note.

Regardless, I enjoyed myself.

For the first time in a long time, I got to relax with my friends.

And I got to go to a resort like I always dreamed of!

I had tons of fun too!

We should come back again!

I'm sorry, Yumi. I know I should keep my excitement in check.

We swear we'll turn over a new leaf tomorrow and train harder.

I'll withdraw from my comics, too.

If only I had taken your warning more seriously...

We're sorry!

No, I'm the one who should be apologizing.

Why?

Certainly, growing strong is important.

But if because of that you all stop smiling...

...then it is a hollow achievement.

Yumicchi...

Justice means to protect the smiles of the people.

So I wish to protect your smiles!

Let's take more breaks and hang out together.

Yay!

Thank you, Yumi!

But I'll still be whipping you into shape!

I'll whip you into shape and make sure you keep smiling.

That sounds difficult.

But together, we can do it!

Yes, I believe we can!

I know, right?

Then shall we go home?

Yeah!

Hello, hello, hello

To a new me

Atarashii watashi ni

Hello, hello, hello

I'm gonna be reborn

Kore kara umarekawaru'n da

The life I'd achieved and thought was so real

Te ni ireta ki ga shita tashika na hibi wa

popped like a bubble touched by a brief wind

Isshun no kaze de awa no you ni kieta

But while I was keeping myself and crying my life away,

Hiza wo kakaeta mama kareru hodo naitara

I realized there was something warm right next to me

Kidzuita yo chikaku ni aru nukumori ni

Hello, hello, hello

To a new me

Atarashii watashi ni

Hello, hello, hello

I'm gonna be reborn

Kore kara umarekawaru'n da

I'll run, I'll fall, I'll curse the pain

Hashitte koronda kizu wa itamu kedo

But tomorrow will be sunny, I know

Ashita wa kitto hareru yo

Hello, hello, hello

Hello, hello, hello