Original subtitles

Sorry, I cannot tell if you guys are talking.

I can't hear anything.

It's probably for the best.

Honestly, yeah.

Hello, and welcome to Blind Date. You guys can talk now.

Hey, hey.

Hi.

Hi, how's it going?

This person seems a little bit surprised by how you sound.

How does he sound to you?

I don't even know.

Oh my god, I sound scary.

I hear myself.

Oh, Jesus.

I will tell you, so this person was the first person who ever did a blind date,

and the sound was so strange, it was very confusing for him.

Wow, calling me out right away.

Yeah, honey, I do not blame you at all.

What the even hell?

Yeah, I feel like it was worse. The distortion was way worse the first time.

Worse? Yeah, it was so disorienting.

You two have no idea who the other person is, right?

Nope. No.

Well, what's interesting is right before the scene started, this person was

smelling to see if he could smell you.

You wanted to smell me?

No, I didn't.

I mean, yeah, but I could smell your perfume, so I was trying to see if I

figure out who it was.

Oh. Well, honestly, yeah, go off.

Did you have any guesses based on the smell?

No, but it smells nice.

So what was interesting is on the call to you, it said dress for a date.

Cut up.

You dressed perfectly.

No underwear, by the way. Thank you. And this person wore shorts and shoes that

looked like he had been gardening.

So I'm now wearing his shorts and he's wearing my pants.

What kind of date would you have taken her on? We were going to go to the park.

You'd do a park date?

Yeah. Where would you want to go on a first date? That's going to sound, like,

really bad for me, so I can't say.

Why?

Because I would say, like, Nobu.

Oh.

Nobu. Okay.

If you were going to take a first date to a restaurant, what would that

restaurant be?

It would not be Nobu.

Would it be, it'd be a place that lets you in wearing shorts that may have oil

stains on them. I wouldn't even take my wife to Nobu.

Oh, they probably just cover their mouth.

I just have a different value system, I guess.

Okay. Like, I don't, I don't value fancy material things or, like, fancy

experiences. You know, like, like, Whole food type things.

I'm much more earthy. Yeah. Like natural plants and things.

Yeah. So not like fake flowers.

No.

Definitely not.

Yeah, I like real things. I like being in touch with like the real reality, not

like what capitalism has told us is the true reality.

Well, I feel like besides that though, sorry, I cannot.

What the hell if you guys are talking? I can't hear anything.

It's probably for the best.

Honestly, yeah. I don't mind for first dates, like hikes and going

for walks and all that kind of stuff too.

But no, that kind of stuff's fun, like trampoline parks or water parks.

I used to be big on trampoline parks.

Hell yeah, those are fun.

Okay, so this may be a hint.

You both have lived at the same house, but not at the same time. Oh,

that's why I'm so confused. I'm like, who are you?

Hmm. Because I must have met you at one point then.

Yeah. Yeah, we definitely know each other then.

You think? I wonder if I fucked you.

Do you think you two have fucked?

I don't... I don't know.

I'm a whore.

I really don't know.

Do you guys mind comparing numbers? How many people do you think you've had sex

with since the beginning of the year?

The last six months.

Oh, I've been really good actually.

Probably only like 30 people.

Oh, what about you?

Probably 50?

Yeah. Or more?

A little more?

Okay.

Why are you going what?

You know my profession.

Okay, how would you describe the sex that you like to have and maybe the sex

that you're in the mood for today?

Oh, great question, Sean. Thank you for asking that.

You're welcome.

I'm a very passionate, lovey, growly kind of person when I have sex.

Can you give us an example of your growl?

It's going to sound terrible.

Wait, what?

I just said I'm a passionate, growly person. It's not like I like to growl.

just happens.

You just growl at people?

When I'm deep in the passion, it comes out.

Before you started talking, this person was like shaking their boobs. It was

great. You were excited about talking about the type of sex you like to have.

Oh, I don't know. I just like all sex.

It's great.

Great.

That's good to hear.

Well, I don't know about the growl. We'll see.

When you get super turned on, are there things you like to say?

Do you like to be called a good girl?

Well, honestly, once we're fucking, it's really hard to turn me off.

I could get into any shit. I could get into anything.

I love everything.

Wow. I say whatever comes to my mind. You just said you could get into

Do you think...

You could get into having sex with this person if you had to listen to them.

Oh, God. No. No.

Oh, my God. I couldn't even imagine. That's something that's very similar

you two is you're very auditory.

Oh, really? That sound messes you up a lot. I would hear myself moan, and then

I'd be like, oh, Jesus.

Yeah, right? I couldn't do it.

Yeah, same.

Okay. Do you two have any questions for each other?

Where are you from outside of California?

New Jersey.

Do you know who I am now?

New Jersey.

Jersey.

I know. Oh, fuck.

Figure it out, hunty.

I've never seen this movie.

I don't know you this well, but I love this movie. Is Lauren Phillips from

Jersey? Fuck! No!

Sorry,

I can't hear myself.

Where are you? you from?

I'm from Washington State. Oh.

Okay, well, we'll just see. Find out.

Okay. How do you think this date's going? I hope okay.

It's gonna go great. We have great chemistry.

Yeah.

Alright, I'm very excited.

I've had sex with you many times. You fucked me?

Yeah, many times. Oh, wait, I know you?

Then who am I? Wait, do you know who this is?

You're Lauren Phillips, right? No!

What?

No! I thought you confirmed it when I said Lauren Phillips and then you went,

oh, shit, fuck, and then you guys laughed.

All right, are you two ready to meet each other?

This might be one of the greatest interviews we've ever done.

So what we're going to do, no talking until you guys see each other.

We're going to take off the headphones, put them on the chair, and put the

microphone down.

And once I tell you, you guys are going to step forward and meet your blind

date. You ready?

Let's do it. So take off headphones.

Stand up.

Put all those things down.

Okay. Now step forward and meet your blind date.

Chloe,

Robbie, Robbie, Chloe.

You guys do know each other.

I'm sorry.

In that microphone, you sounded evil.

I knew this was going to be the reaction because before seeing you, it was kind

of, there was a lot of faces.

But you also seem like the type of person who really genuinely loves pretty

anybody.

Yeah.

It's hard for me not to like someone.

Have you two worked together before?

We have, yeah.

She's thinking about it.

Um, our friend's house, so that's why I didn't only do it.

Yeah, what?

Oh, okay. Yeah.

I mean, so many people have lived there, that would have been a hard one for me

to do. Because I lived there for like over a year. Yeah.

Alright, the bedroom is yours for the next 25 minutes.

Alright. Yay, let's fuck.

Fuck, I am so happy with this game.

Thank you.

My god, I'm so wet. I'm gonna fuck so bad.

off your pants.

Please.

Give me it.

I want your dick.

Can I take this off?

Oh my god, look how fucking sexy you are.

Thank you.

Yeah, do you like a sloppy whore giving you hugs?

I do.

Fuck,

I'll be a whore anytime you want.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Oh, come here. I'm going to fill up this one.

Come on.

Okay.

Yes,

seven and me.

Fuck me, please, Robbie.

They're so beautiful.

You're so hot.

Yeah, you like my

pink, tight puppy.

My 21 year old cat.

I don't think otherwise.

Don't fucking use me.

Use me, Robbie.

Use my pussy.

I feel like a slut.

How do you think it's so good? Oh, shit.

Oh, my God, you are so hot.

Let me taste, like, come off your lips.

That was sexy.

I'm gonna take a little sweat.

I can't stop

smiling

because of the smell over your face.

My ears are so hot.

You want

to

come up the deepest side of my tight little pink

puffy?

My doctor comes so bad.

He wants you to fill me up.

You didn't have the pillow this time.

You didn't have the pillow this time.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I want more.

I'm going to do this all day with you.

You're going to use me.

You're going to use your whore for whatever you want.

You like that? Yeah?

Yeah, don't be shy. Put your finger up my ass.

Oh, fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Oh, baby, you're so hot.

Yeah? Yeah.

Oh, fuck me up. I don't, please.

Oh,

baby. Oh, my God.

Oh, fuck.

You're getting so fucking close.

Yeah, you wouldn't. come inside her so badly, right?

Fill me with cum.

Please.

Do it fucking come in me. I want you to breathe me.

Yeah, you want to fucking breathe me?

Yeah, do it.

Do it fucking come in me.

I want to finger my pussy with it inside me and shove it in the back of my

throat and taste it.

Yeah. Let me fucking taste it, babes.

Please.

I want all your cum inside me

all of it

right in my pussy.

There we go.

Did

you

notice his growling at all?

No, I didn't. You didn't? Well, if I did, I thought it was hot.

Robbie, did you expect her journey talk to be so good?

Uh,

Yeah, I don't remember it. I don't remember it from the first time we had

Yes, you both are odd story people. Interesting.

All right, good one, Dave.

Yeah, love it.

All right, so see you guys then.