All language subtitles for Acting Good s04e08 The Spy Who Snagged Me.eng

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Original subtitles

-�Such�a�bold�exploration

of�gluteal�form.

Note�the�tonal�palate, the�compositional�form,

the�undercurrent�of�defiance!

One�could�be�forgiven for�characterizing

this�painting�as...�cheeky!

(chips�crunching)

Ah!�A�young�artisan eating�ketchup�chips!

-�'Sup?

-�I�haven't�seen�a�butt�painted in�such�detail

since�Genevieve�Plum's "Wall�of�Bums."

-�I�paint�cheeks�flat, the�way�Creator�intended.

-�I�sit�on�the�board�of admissions

for�the�prestigious�Arts University�for�the�Learned,

located�in�Moncton, New�Brunswick.

-�The�Paris�of�the�Maritimes?

-�Truly!�If�you�could�put�a portfolio�together,

I�would�see�to�it�myself�that�it would�get�into�the�right�hands!

-�Hey!�You�there,�art�dweeb!

"No�Aristocrats!"

Go�on,�get!�And�take�your�no-arm glasses�back�to�Moncton!

Artsy-fartsy�snob,�wouldn't�last five�minutes�in�Stoney!

(theme�music)

(speaking�Cree)

-�Ho�is�the�new�water�guy�now,

and�is�behind�the�wheel�of�the truck�as�we�speak.

Which�is�kind�of�scary,

because�he�doesn't�have his�license.

So�if�you're�out on�the�road,�look�out!

He's�still�ironing�out the�kinks.

-�Fuck,�boy!

-�So,�you're�going,�right?

-�I�just�finished�school, why�would�I�go�to�another�one?

-�Because�at�this�one,

you�can�just�fuck�around and�draw�pictures.

-�In�Moncton,�New�Brunswick.

-�Way�better�than�Old�Brunswick!

-�I�do�love�fucking�around.

(laughter):�And�look�at�how deadly�these�kids

look�in�the�pamphlet! This�could�be�you!

All�sad�and�tortured.

-�Okay,�I'll�do�it!

(Brother�and�sister): Moncton!�Moncton!

-�Okay,�but�I'm�gonna�do�it�on my�own�terms.

Art�shouldn't�be�locked�up in�museums,�confined�by�walls.

My�art's�for�the�people!

-�Yo,�look�at�this�pamphlet.

-�It�says,�"Be�Bear�Smart."

And�there's�a�picture�of a�man�running�from�a�bear.

-�What's�with�you�guys and�pamphlets?

(Brother�and�sister):�Pamphlets! Pamphlets!�Pamphlets!

-�How�many�band�councillors�does it�take�to�screw�in�a�lightbulb?

-�How�many?

-�None.�They�don't�screw�in lightbulbs,�they�screw�us!

(laughter)

-�He�hey!�Lightbulbs!

(laughter)

They�get�real�hot�too,

and�then�sometimes�you�burn your�hands�on�them!

(laughter) -�What?

-�Beat�it,�you�big�round�rat!

-�You're�just�mad�at�me�because I�stole�your�job,

and�now�you�have�to�be the�sewage�driver!

-�Oh!�Fucking�genius,�here!

-�Why�don't�you�go�away?

-�You're�just�mad�at�me,�because you�only�think�I�got�this�job

from�sleeping�around�with Councillor�Rose

all�the�time!�Ha!

-�Yeah,�you�think?

-�Well,�the�joke's�on�you!

Because�ever�since�we�had�the baby,�I've�had�sex�zero�times!

-�Oy! -�Oh...

Sorry�about�that.

-�Yeah,�I�hope that�picks�up�for�ya.

-�Wait,�fuck�you,�man!

Go�back to�sitting�by�yourself!

-�Fine!�But�I'm�gonna�try fitting�in

with�you�guys�so�hard!

-�We�got�big�budget�negotiations

with�Chief and�Council�coming�up.

-�Yeah,�so?

-�So,�this�guy�wants�to�fit�in so�bad,

he�told�us�about�his�love�life!

Imagine�what�he�would�tell�us about�Chief�and�Council!

(laughter)

(clinking�mugs)

(slurping�coffee) -�Oi!�Fuck,�that's�hot!

-�Hey�boss,�need�your�signature.

-�Yeah,�man.

-�Missed,�but uh,�I'm�sure�it's�okay.

-�Hey!�Uh,

so�my�friends and�I�were�curious

if�we�could�use the�store�to�play

a�Wizards and�Windigoes�campaign?

-�Is�that�like�where�you�pretend to�kill�dragons

in�some�kind of�little�dungeon?

-�No,�it's�actually�a�pen and�paper�role-playing�game.

We�would�use our�usual�place,

but�it's�being�fumigated for�wolves.

-�Scary�wolves! -�Yeah!

-�One�second.

Alright,�you�know how�Yeah�Man's�got�this

badass�biker�bar�feel�to�it?

-�Sure.�Of�course,�bro.

-�Yeah�well,�these�nerdlingers are�gonna�kill�that�cool�vibe.

-�We�can�hear�you!

-�Mmm. (chuckles)

-�We�can�pay�cash.

(laughter) -�Good�one,�Willy!

-�Hey,�uh,�what�are�you�guys talking�about�over�here?

-�Oh,�you�don't�wanna�hear about�this.

-�No,�no,�no, I'm�one�of�you�guys�now!

-�We�were�just�talking�about�how Chief�and�Council's

been�busting�our�balls at�the�bargaining�table.

-�She�says�there's�no�more�money for�public�works.

-�Man!�That's�just�like�Rose!

-�Hmm. -�Just�stingy!

Did�you�know�that�she only�lets�me�have�two�wieners,

when�I�know�for�a�fact that�there's�12�motherfuckers

that�come�in�a�package?

-�You�know�what?

Maybe�there�is�something you�can�do�for�us.

Oh�actually, ahh,�no,�no,�no.

-�No,�no,�no,�no! -�N-n-never,�never�mind.

-�What�is�it? -�No!�Willy�said�never�mind.

-�No!�I�always�mind! I�never�not�mind!

-�Well,�maybe�when�you�go�home,

you�could�get�some�info from�Rose?

-�Yeah,�something to�help�us�negotiate.

-�Hmm.

-�I�mean,�we're�practically family,�right?

You,�water,�me,�garbage.

Trudy,�shit!

Just�maybe,�you�could�come�and sit�with�us�at�the�big�table!

-�The�big�table!

(laughing):�Oh! You�got�yourselves�a�deal!

Wow.

-�I�call�it "Le�Macaroni�de�Lips."

-�His�eyes�follow�you�around like�a�pervert�at�a�gas�station.

-�How�come�he's�got�a�macaroni on�his�lip?

-�Cause�he�showed�up�to�school one�day�with�a�macaroni

on�his�lip. That's�why�they�call�him�Lips.

Oh,�I�need�pics for�my�portfolio.

Hey,�I'm�gonna go�grab�my�camera.

-�Critical�hit,�roll�for�damage!

-�So�those�cheap�little�dudes, those�are�the�good�guys?

-�Sage�is�a�kung-fu�monk.

And�Sonia�is�a�druid, who�uses�land-based�magic.

-�Ahh.�Kung-fu�monk,�eh?

Pretty�cool,�I�guess.

-�They�just�finished�slaying an�evil�orc,

and�now�they're�rummaging through�his�stuff

to�find�some�clues.

-�Rummaging,�hey? Sounds�cool,�I�guess.

-�Deal�us�in!

-�What's�the�buy�in?

-�Sorry�guys, our�session�ended�anyways.

But�uh,�if�you�want, you�can�join�us�tomorrow.

-�Yeah,�that'd�be�cool! -�We'd�love�to!

-�I�mean,�uh-- -�Yeah.

-�Yeah,�sure.�Whatever.

-�If�you�haven't�seen the�Lips�painting,

get�your�jeets�down�there!

I've�laughed�at�Lips pretty�hard�before,

but�never�this�hard!

-�Code�Beige, officer�humiliated!

(sirens�blaring)

-�Hey,�babe! (loud�gasp)

-�Oh,�you�scared�me!

-�Yeah!�I�didn't�want to�wake�up�PJ!

-�Oh,�he's�out�with�your�mom right�now.

-�Cool,�cool.

So�uh,�why�don't you�tell�me�about�your�work,

and�spare�no�details?

-�You�never�ask�about�work!

-�I'm�a�working�man�now!

I�love�talking�work�stuff with�my�baby!

-�Well--

(cellphone�ringing)

Oh,�it's�Dee�Dee, I�have�to�take�this.

Willy�wants�more?

I�know�we�have�a�surplus, but�they�don't�know�that!

-�Surplus?

(sigh)

-�Well,�he�hasn't�seen the�budget,

so�we�don't�have to�worry�about�that.

-�Budget?

-�Since�when�do�you�dust?

-�Dust?

(camera�flashes) -�Break�it�up!

(laughter) Go�home!

There's�nothing to�see�here!

-�Look,�Lips�has�a�macaroni on�his�lip,

just�like�in�the�painting!

(laughter)

-�Ow!�Stop�laughing!

This�is�a�violation�of�the�law!

-�What,�what�are�you,�hey!�Hey!

That's�my�painting!

-�It's�graffiti.

-�I�need�that�for�art�school!

-�Effective�immediately,

I'm�banning�all�forms�of graffiti,�under�threat�of�BCR.

-�Stupid�fucking�pamphlet.

-�Sweetie�bird!

Is�everything�okay?

-�That's�the�last�time�I�try to�be�a�sad�painter�in�Moncton!

-�Hmmm.�Let�me�tell�you�a�story.

When�I�was�young,

I�wanted�to�be�an�actor.

Just�like�Michelle�Kennedy on�North�of�60.

-�That's�oddly�specific. (laughter)

-�The�point�is,�I�never�followed my�dreams.

-�Hmm. -�And�I�always�regretted�it.

-�I�see.

-�So,�screw�Lips!

And�you�do�whatever�you�need�to do�to�be�whoever�you�want�to�be.

-�Thanks,�Kookoo.�I�love�you.

-�Mmm.�Muah!

-�Now�if�you'll�excuse�me,

I�have�some�expressing myself�to�do!

-�Mmm! (laughter)

-�Whoa,�whoa,�whoa.�Not�so�fast!

-�Come�on,�then. Let's�hear�what�you�got.

-�I'm�sorry, I�couldn't�find�nothing!

-�Then�this�seat's...�taken!

-�For�fuck!�I�really�tried!

But�all�she�kept�going�off on�was�budget�and�surplus,

blah�blah�blah! -�Wait,�what?

-�Rose�said�the�reserve was�broke!

-�We're�gonna�kill�them in�negotiation!

(laughter) -�I'm�really�sorry!

Please,�just�give me�one�more�chance,

and�I�promise that�I'll�show�you--

-�Hey,�oh,�yo,�hey,�whoa! Why�don't�you�have�a�seat?

-�No�fooling?

-�No,�it's�all�yours,�big�guy!

(laughter)

-�You�guys�seeing�this? The�table!

(knocking)

Wow!

Jealous?

We�should�tell some�jokes...

-�I�am�Geezhiga,

the�fastest�barbarian in�the�land.

And,�a�magnet�of�babes!

-�I�am�Zaycan,�the�enchanter!

And�I�too,�am�a�magnet�of�babes!

-�What?�I�am�the�magnet of�babes!

-�There�can�be�two�magnets.

-�Nerds!

-�Okay!�Let's�start.

So,�you're�all�in�the�desert,

when�a�huge�fire-breathing dragon�just�rips

through�the�air. You�look�to�follow�it--

-�And�I�jump�500�feet, and�I�punch�the�dragon!

-�You'd�die�from the�fall�damage!

-�Nuh-uh!�I�have�an�amulet of�slow�fall!

-�Doh!

-�Aha!

-�You�guys�are�too�much!

-�Yes.

-�One�wiener. (chuckles)

Two�wiener.�Three�wiener?

-�Hey,�babe.

-�I�was�just�kidding!

Today�was�brutal!

Willy�and�Trudy�would�not take�no�for�an�answer.

All�the�extra�money�we�had�saved got�eaten�up�by�their�demands.

-�Really,�eh?

-�It's�like�they�knew about�the�surplus.

-�How�could�they�know? I�ask�you,�how?

-�You�know�what�you�could�do for�your�babe?

Actually,�never�mind!

-�No!�What�is�it?�Tell�me!

-�Maybe,�when�you�go�to�work,

you�could�get some�information�for�me?

-�You�want�me�to�spy�on my�casual�work�acquaintances!

-�I'm�not�sure�I'm�saying�that.

-�That's,�that's�enough�wieners for�two�whole�days!

-�Get�dirt�at�any�cost.

Seduce�them�if�you�have�to!

-�It�has�been�a�long�battle.

-�Four�hours�long!

-�So�you�finally�chase�down Manamon's�spy�to�a�small�church.

Zaycan,�the�hero�of�the�party, strides�up�to�a�fallen�Orc.

-�I�cast�Fireball�at�the�spy.

-�Fireball�is�a�20-foot�ball of�fire!

You're�in�a�small�church.

-�I�cast...

Fireball. (evil�laugh)

-�Everyone�is�weak from�the�fight.

-�Fireball!

-�Yeah!

-�Fine!�You�cast�Fireball!

You�kill�everyone in�the�room.

-�Yes!

-�TPK!�Is�that�what�you�want?

(snaps�fingers)

(door�closing)

-�Shit!�Maybe�we�went�too�far?

-�Yeah,�maybe.

Wanna�go�again?

-�Yeah! -�Alright!

-�Oh,�hey�guys!

Is�it�me?

Or�is�it�getting...

hot�in�here!

-�It's�actually�a�perfect�temp.

-�Really? Then�why�am�I...

so�sweaty?

-�It's�because�you�have�four t-shirts�underneath�there!

-�Oh�my!�You�noticed!

So,

do�you�guys�enjoy�the�sex?

-�What?

-�Nothing,�I�was�just�kidding! No.�Or,�was�I?

-�Stop�fucking�around and�sit�down!

We�took�Chief�and�Council for�a�ride!

-�Yeah,�all�that�surplus shit�paid�off.

-�We�don't�even�need�all the�money�we're�getting!

-�Said�we�needed�new�trucks, new�uniforms,�new...

everything! (laughter)

-�And�they�had�no�choice but�to�pony�up!

Suckers!

-�Come�with�us�to�the�band office�later,

watch�us�sign�the�deal!

-�I�would,�but�I�have-- -�Hey.

Your�own�funny�work�mug.

-�Get�it. -�And�those�aren't�tentacles.

It�says�Mug�Life? Like�Thug�Life?

-�It's�because�we�love�coffee�so much,�get�it,�get�it?

(laughter)

-�Oh�wow! -�Take�that,�Lips!

-�Why�does�that�pig have�tentacles?

-�I�don't�think�that's�a�pig.

-�And�those�aren't�tentacles.

-�Holy!�I�didn't�know�men had�those!

-�Hey! -�Oh�shit,�it's�the�fuzz!

-�Hey!�Stop�right�there! -�Run!

-�No�fucking�way! -�Halt!�In�the�name�of�the�law!

-�Come�on,�Lips.�Lighten�up. Why�do�you�hate�art?

-�I�don't�hate�art, I�hate�vandalism.

I'm�actually more�of�a�film�guy.

-�Really?

-�We'll�discuss�this�later. You're�in�big�trouble.

-�Yeah?�Well,�what�are�you�gonna do�about�it?

-�What�am�I�gonna�do? You're�BCR'd.

-�What? -�Whoa!

-�That's�what�I'm�gonna�do! -�No!

-�Okay.�Contract's�on the�table,

all�it�needs is�your�signatures.

(laughter) (loud�yawn)

-�Take�a�look�at�this,�babe!

-�I�even�brought�my�best�pen for�this!

-�It's�nothing�personal, it's�just�business.

-�Actually, speaking�of�business.

-�What?

-�What�did�you�do�that�for?

-�I�have�it�on�good�authority

that�Public�Works�doesn't even�need�all�that�money

you�asked�for. -�Not�true!

-�Trucks�are�up�to�date,

uniforms�in�good�shape.

You�even�have�funny�mug�money!

-�Who�told�you�about the�funny�mug�money?

-�Who�told�you�about the�surplus?

-�Mama!

-�Mama!

-�I�knew�we�couldn't�trust this�fucking�guy!

-�How�could�you?

-�Even�me!�Your�baby�mama and�babe?

-�No!�I�ratted�both�sides. Evenly!

-�I�want�the�mug�back!

-�Make�him�the�shit�guy!

-�That's�it.�You're�down to�two�hot�dogs�a�day!

-�Hey!�Is�it�me, or�is�it�getting�hot�in�here?

-�Oh,�stop�it!

-�Well,�we�wouldn't�even�be�here if�you�guys�knew

how�to�openly�talk with�each�other!

You�all�used�me!

Yeah!

You�should�all�be�ashamed of�yourselves,

making�me�resort to�my�sexy�tactics!

(chuckling)

I�want�you�all�to�sit�down,

and�talk�about�what�you�all�did! While�I�leave�the�room!

(chuckling)

-�Wait.

He's�right.

I�told�Paul to�get�info�on�you�guys.

-�We�said�the�same�thing.

-�We�bribed�him. With�chairs,�and�mugs.

-�How�about�we�all�take�a�look at�the�numbers�together?

In�a�good�way.

-�In�a�good�way,�hey?

-�We�haven't�tried�honesty and�kindness�yet!

-�My�two�favourite�things!

-�Babe,�we�have�work�to�do.

(chuckling):�So�uh...

What�do�I�get for�bringing�everyone�together?

Ooh,�a�brand�new�funny�mug? (gasp)

Four�wieners?

(Trudy,�Willy�and�Rose):�Out! -�Yeah.

-�Hey.�Just�came to�get�our�game.

-�Hey!�I'm�glad you�guys�came�back.

-�Yeah,�we�wanted�to�say�sorry.

And�give�you�this�Scroll of�Apology.

-�It's�not�a�real�thing, but...

thanks.

That's�so�sweet. Okay,�let's�go,�guys.

-�Hey,�so�look.�I�know�we�got carried�away

and�destroyed the�whole�village.

-�That�was�too�much.�But,�we loved�this�game�so�much.

-�Is�it�a�crime�to�love this�game�so�much?

-�We�can�change,�I�swear!

-�Give�us�one�more�campaign,

and�you�will�see.

We�are�different�now.

-�Okay,�how�about�this?

Every�Wednesday,�we'll�come back�and�have�a�game�night.

But�you�have to�promise�to�be�chill!

-�We're�as�cool�as a�plus�two�Frost�Dagger!

-�Roll�initiative, for�Round�Two?

(everybody):�Excelsior!!

-�Leave�her�alone,�Lips!

-�Sorry,�Hilda.�You�do�the crime,�you�do�the�time.

-�Wait!

She�didn't�paint�it.

-�It's�okay!

-�No,�it's�not!�I�painted�it!

-�Nice�try.

-�She's�lying,�I�painted�it.

-�I�painted�it,�too.

-�So�did�I!

-�I�also�painted�it!

-�That's�impossible!

-�Looks�like�everyone painted�it.

-�You're�all�BCR'd!

(crowd�gasps)

-�Why�don't�you�take�a�look�at the�painting�first,

take�it�in?

-�Use�your�damn�eyes,�Lips!

-�Alright,�fine.

-�Why�does�the�pig have�tentacles?

-�I�don't�think�that's�a�pig.

-�And�those�aren't�tentacles!

-�Oh�my�God, I�understand�it�now!

-�You�do?

-�Laws�are�just�threats,

made�by�the�ruling�class to�hold�on�to�power.

-�Uh,�yeah�man.

-�I've�seen�enough. You're�all�free�to�go!

-�Hey!

-�I�too�have�seen�enough!

This�is�true�art.

There�is�a�voice�inside�of�you that�must�be�heard,

not�bottled�up�here in�Grouse�Lake.

Applications�be�damned!

I'm�prepared�to�offer�you a�full�scholarship.

The�world�needs�to�see this�bird�fly!

(applause)

(cheering)

(knocking�on�door) -�Chickadee?

-�You�think�she�went�to�Moncton?

-�There's�a�note.

"Hey�dickheads,

I�want�you�to�know�that I�turned�down�the�art�school.

I'm�gonna�travel�and�see all�the�art�I�can,

like�a�badass.

I'll�be�back�at�some�point,

so�don't�take�my�shit!"

-�Well,�she�did�say, "Don't�take�my�shit."

But,�she�didn't�say�anything about�not�using�it.�Right?

-�Nope!

-�Well,�these�games�ain't�gonna play�themselves!

(theme�music)

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