Original subtitles

Master, I have news of Dr. Venture's latest invention.

Yesterday's New York Herald. Science fiction.

Thank you, Kikai. You have served your master well.

Thanks. You totally got the kink out of it. And hey, I don't want to smoke

anymore either.

Golly, we've searched the whole compound.

Twice. Where could that rascal have gone?

We've got to get packing if we want to be on time for our trip to the big city.

Yeah, we don't want Pop to get sore at us.

He's sure on a tear this week.

Ah, he's just excited about exhibiting his new invention at the United Nations

is all.

See, maybe Pop knows where Scamp's gotten to.

Good thinking, fro of mine. And I thought I was supposed to be the smart

My venture didn't raise no fools.

We don't have a mom, Hank.

Last one to the hangar's a rotten banana.

You're a rotten banana.

Wacky noodle.

Gorilla butt.

Hey, Brock.

Boys. Dean, Dad.

What? Brock. Come in, Brock.

Yeah. Brock, come to the lab at once.

I've just made an incredible discovery.

Remember those prehistoric bones we found out at the Moroccan site?

Well, it turns out your hunch was correct. They aren't dinosaur bones as

thought after all.

They're robot bones.

Yeah, great. Well, I'm kind of busy here. I've got to load all your science

onto the X1.

Oh, well, there's plenty of time for that. You really have to see this to

believe it. Plus, like, I really don't care.

Um, I'll just, I'll continue my work here and then I'll be down at home.

Hey,

Pop.

Boys. We've looked all over and we can't find Scamp, Pop. Have you seen him?

Scamp? Well, of course I have. He's right over there.

Scamp!

He's all inside out.

Dean, Dean, Dean, you're supposed to be the smart one. You know your father

would never turn scamp inside out. I've simply removed all of his skin.

Jeepers! Scamp's an integral part of some groundbreaking research I'm doing

a major cosmetics corporation.

You see, their test animals are always expiring before they can finish

performing all their super important makeup experiments on them. So your

is perfecting a way of keeping them alive longer.

But, Pop!

Hank!

You like pretty girls, don't you?

And how!

Well, pretty girls need cosmetics.

How do you think they get so pretty?

So the next time you see an attractive young lady, and you're sure to see

in New York City, you just think of old Scamp over there and all he's done for

pretty girl size.

Oh, Brock!

Stay back, Doc. Another one of those mummies gets stuck in our landing gear.

dares to desecrate the sacred tomb of... Hey, wait! Wait

a minute!

There's no reason to...

Holy

Toledo! You got

him! Way to give him a little chin music, Brock!

Well... That ought to take care of that. Look! Brock still ain't done with him!

That's showing him who's boss, Brocko!

Was that really necessary?

You have to defile a mummy completely or they come back to life. You know that.

Yes, yes, of course.

Hold the phone. What's this?

Why, this isn't an ancient mummy at all. These are just ace bandages and toilet

paper.

Looks like a lot of things weren't quite what they seemed on our last adventure.

Eh, Brock?

Stop that! Go pack, dammit! Go!

Dr. Thaddeus Venture.

He's been a thorn in the Monarch's side for far too many years.

But all that is about to change.

In a moment, you men will be launched into the Venture compound inside this

ingeniously modern Trojan horse.

My false meteor will land safely inside the Venture's security perimeter,

looking for all intents and purposes like a real meteor.

Dr. Ventra's legendary scientific curiosity will naturally get the better

him. And when he immediately drills open the cosmic mystery, he'll get a fate

full of men.

My men!

Loyal foot soldiers in my war on everything and deadly!

Just like the monarch butterfly of my namesake.

What?

Butterflies aren't deadly.

Dr. Girlfriend!

The hat, please.

Ready for launch.

and ready for takeoff. Yes. Go.

Now.

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. The X -1 is not a toy.

Buckle up.

Mother of crap!

A meteor!

From outer space!

Probably want to check it out, huh, Doc?

No time. No time.

Hey.

I can't get the hatch open. We landed face down.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. We're gonna die in here.

Oh, man.

We're not going to have to eat each other, are we? Screw that!

Boobapoopoo!

Stay in the X -1, boys.

Dr.

Venture, we've been expecting you. Yes, we're right on time, as always.

You remember my man Brock from last year.

But of course, we still haven't been able to get the stains out of the

Guards, help Mr. Samson with Dr. Venture's baggage, please.

Come, Dr. Venture.

While they unload, I'll show you where you can set up your equipment.

Super good.

Oh, gentlemen, be careful not to get too close to the X -1's engines.

Good God, what's he doing now?

Being thorough.

It probably stood away back when we were down in Brazil last week.

Big one, too.

Halt! Sir, you can't enter the United Nations with that weapon.

That's all right, soldier.

Mr. Samson is my bodyguard.

Just the same, doctor. No weapons allowed.

I'll have to confiscate it.

Go ahead.

Take it from me.

And this is the exhibition hall, where you'll be giving your demonstration

tomorrow. God, who designed this place?

Frank Lloyd Wrong?

Um,

Brock, why don't you take the boys over to the hotel now?

Yeah, all right.

There's no tail at this con anyway.

Ah, Mr. Senzuri.

I'd like you to meet Dr. Venture.

Dr. Venture, this suspicious -looking Asian fellow here, is Otaku Senzuri.

He represents the Onani Corporation of Japan.

I've been most anxious to meet you, Dr. Venture.

Most anxious.

I've been hearing a lot about the exciting technological advances you've

I'm eager to see them.

Ah, yes. I mean, thank you.

lift off, Houston to Gemini, you are go for orbit.

Oh, I'm tired of playing astronaut.

Crepes, we're in the city that never sleeps.

Can't we find something more fun to do?

I don't know, Hank. Pop told us to stay in the hotel the whole trip and not come

out. You wouldn't want him to throw a hissy fit, would you?

Well, we don't have to leave the hotel to have an adventure.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Probably.

The co -captain, prepare to dive.

Roger, captain.

Co -captain, closing the hatch.

Crever boys, but not nearly crever enough.

Did they really think they could hide it from me for wrong?

Whoa, hey, don't rock the boat, Dino.

That's Captain Dino to you, and either of these ain't my doing.

Where is it?

Where is he hiding it?

A ninja!

Put a team to play the J -U -D -O!

Done.

Done. Done.

Oh. Oh.

I was in the mommy place.

Get up. The boys are gone.

Not answering their communicator watches either.

Well, find them. For God's sake, I swear if they screw up my gig at the U .N.

Oh, wowie zowie. What a headache.

We must have gone off on one of those benders Brock's always talking about.

Where are we anyway?

Beats me.

Let's check our satellite -linked navigational watches.

Gone! Now I remember.

That no -good ne 'er -do -well ninja must have adios with her watches.

That clown.

Hmm. Dr. Venture's precocious progenies.

They will be his undoing. That'll be $53 .50.

$53 .50? Duh.

What the hell is this supposed to be?

It's an IOU.

You see?

Just like the flawless monarch butterfly from which I take my name, the monarch

has many ways to sting.

Monarchs don't sting!

Holy guacamole!

A giant butterfly!

Criminy! That's no butterfly!

It's that guy that's always hating Dad!

Super Runaway!

Come in, boys. What's your location?

Oh, snap! Check this out!

It's like some Star Trek crap!

What a fool!

Wait! We ride the rails!

You spotted me!

All right there, princess. I saw you jump the turd style. Let's go.

Plebeian, clearly your fear has blinded you, for you dare to lay hands upon...

That is it.

Ah! No!

What? Ah!

No! No!

Ah!

And he's always got that big guy with him. Rock something. You can't tell me

nothing's going on there.

No, no. He's just his bodyguard is all.

To be perfectly honest, however, my proposed solar power vehicle is not 100

free of emissions.

Because it emits a special form of ozone.

Meaning these cars will actually repair our fragile, precious ozone layer while

you drive.

Jealous.

I think we super lost him! Good teamwork, big brother!

Hey, look!

It's one of those pretty girls Pop was telling us about.

You boys looking for some action?

And how.

We're always looking for action and adventure.

Hey, hey, listen.

Ain't safe to talk business on the street.

Why don't I take you boys back to my busy beehive?

Yes, ma 'am.

All right, that's it. I'm through screwing around.

Those two are so dead.

Ladies and gentlemen, we've seen a great many wonderful achievements in science

today. Our last presenter's father is a legend in these hallowed halls, and we

all expect great things of him. I present to you, from the United States,

Thaddeus Van Jules.

Watch and learn, Slim.

Good evening.

Since the dawn of time, man has strived to achieve greatness.

He's reached toward the heavens.

He's journeyed to the bottom of the seas.

He's built massive cities full of wonder and beauty.

And above all, he sought to make peace with his brother on this wondrous planet

we call Earth.

Well, today, mankind takes another small step toward achieving its ultimate

goal. I present to you the Ure.

Stop the venture.

That is enough.

What do you think you're doing?

I'm showing everyone my new thing. What's the matter?

I worked really hard on this.

This is supposed to be a peaceful exhibition of scientific breakthroughs

betterment of all mankind.

And you show up with this weapon of devastation.

Weapon? What are you talking about?

Well, what the hell do you call it?

The hooray. I mentioned that. Why, the applications are limitless. Are you

kidding me?

You blew up a modern city with it. What are we supposed to sing?

Look, it even melted all the little people and stuff. Oh.

Well, I suppose if it ever fell into the wrong hands, it could be modified and

used as a weapon after a fashion.

But that's true of almost any technology.

Really? I can't see anybody using Dr.

Olofsson's amazing Hello Helmet for ill.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm terribly sorry we have to conclude our presentations

on this note. Please, everyone, if you would join to the next room, we'll be

having refreshments and cocktails.

Thank you.

Your crab -a -boys aren't here to protect your secret this time, aren't

Well, well, well.

It looks as if these venture boys are not quite so young and innocent as I

thought. They seem to have already discovered the fleshy cheek of the mommy

daddy dance.

No matter.

For as the monarch butterfly spins its deadly web, so shall I set my fiendish

trap. Yo, coke smoke? Dope.

Oh. No, I'm cool.

Okay, big fella, you first.

I charge you $10 for the gilded lily, $20 for the Roman holiday, $50 for the

walrus and carpenter, and for $75 you can play right down to the mentality.

Ma 'am?

Okay, tell you what.

Why don't we start nice and slow and get to know each other?

Oh, sweet mama -dama.

Where are they, Monarch? What'd you do with the boy?

Wait a minute, wait, wait. Ow!

Ow!

Hey,

look! It's the United Nation!

Pop's in there right now!

Jiggy, let's go surprise him!

Way to go, Venture. Yes, move, move, Eclax.

Oh, look who's talking.

I seem to remember a certain scientist inventing a little something called the

albino bomb a few years back. And as for you, your hastily assembled cardboard

diorama entitled Where Does Rain Come From was not exactly the highlight of

these proceedings.

Hey, guys. The Surgeon General from Mexico is mixing up margarita.

Come on.

Dad!

Boys, what the hell are you doing here? Where have you been? We've been on a

bonafide New York adventure.

We saw beautiful girls and ninjas and everything.

Yes, yes. Is Brock with you? I want to get the hell out of here, and I need him

to pack up the Ouray. Nah, Pop.

We haven't seen him. Very well. Then you two can help me.

Mother of Christ. Security!

Security!

Why, he's disappeared!

No! He's right there!

Nice work, boys.

I'm very sorry about this, Dr. Venture.

Although it serves you right for bringing that thing in here. With all

foreigners around, someone's bound to try to steal a weapon like that.

Weapon? He wasn't trying to steal it. He was masturbating like a teenager with a

fast internet connection.

Master what?

Like an evil master plan?

No, boys, Otaku Sensori isn't evil.

He's a technology fetishist. A man who can only achieve full arousal when in

presence of high -tech equipment.

Electronics, computers, undersea robots, that sort of thing.

It's only natural your dad's work would have piqued his fancy.

Fine technological doodad like this.

Fine technological doodad? You mean you like it?

We sure do, Doc.

The army will take a hundred of them. Well, I don't know what use the army

have for them, but it's a deal, General. I'd better get right to work on those.

Well, looks like all's well that ends well.

Another successful adventure for the best family in the whole wide world. Go,

Team Venture!

I suppose.

But wait a minute.

What happened to Brock?

That was some workout, big man.

But I guess you're gonna have to go look for those boys now, huh?

They'll turn up.

Besides, I still got $300 left.

Ooh, three bills can buy you an awful lot of things.

I know.

I'm gonna want change.

Someone did a real job on you mister, but you're gonna make it hard to believe

considering the size of this thing we pump from your stomach Don't throw those

out That's good