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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:54,033 --> 00:00:59,992 I do realize that this is very grim news. But understand that it's treatable. 2 00:01:01,533 --> 00:01:04,658 Your condition is serious, but it can be treated. 3 00:01:06,117 --> 00:01:08,117 - Right, uhm ... - Yes? 4 00:01:10,117 --> 00:01:12,116 - Can I ask you something? - Yes, of course. 5 00:01:12,117 --> 00:01:15,117 The treatment, is it ... 6 00:01:16,117 --> 00:01:19,116 Will I have to ask for sick leave? 7 00:01:19,117 --> 00:01:23,658 Yes. Not right away, but during treatment. 8 00:01:24,658 --> 00:01:28,074 Treatment, as in pills? 9 00:01:28,075 --> 00:01:34,116 No. Either surgery or radiation therapy, and both have side effects. 10 00:01:34,117 --> 00:01:36,741 Let me know if I'm going too fast. 11 00:01:36,742 --> 00:01:41,907 Surgery means remove your prostate, which will result in sterility. 12 00:01:41,908 --> 00:01:45,866 But so would the radiation treatment. 13 00:01:45,867 --> 00:01:48,658 Both treatments will affect your erectile function. 14 00:01:48,783 --> 00:01:53,074 This can be partially remedied by training, 15 00:01:53,075 --> 00:01:57,117 but your erections will likely never be the same. 16 00:01:57,992 --> 00:02:02,533 Incontinence is another common side effect, but many are not affected. 17 00:02:02,658 --> 00:02:07,783 I would recommend surgery. But in the end, the choice is all yours. 18 00:02:10,242 --> 00:02:13,116 This happens to many men at some point. 19 00:02:13,117 --> 00:02:19,532 If the patient is elderly, we sometimes choose not to treat it. But you are not. 20 00:02:19,533 --> 00:02:24,532 You should let this sink in for a bit. 21 00:02:24,533 --> 00:02:29,658 Do you have any questions right now? You can ask me anything. 22 00:02:31,908 --> 00:02:33,782 No. 23 00:02:33,783 --> 00:02:37,658 WEDNESDAY, 6 AUGUST 24 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,992 - Can I ask you something? - Of course. 25 00:02:42,992 --> 00:02:47,991 - I'm not sure if he truly grasped it. - Really? 26 00:02:47,992 --> 00:02:50,991 - You didn't get the same impression? - No ...? 27 00:02:50,992 --> 00:02:55,116 Well, it's not uncommon that the patient is unable to ... 28 00:02:55,117 --> 00:02:57,991 Maybe more so than usual. 29 00:02:57,992 --> 00:03:01,992 He didn't have any questions, but that's not uncommon. 30 00:03:02,992 --> 00:03:05,992 Next patient? 31 00:03:07,658 --> 00:03:10,991 Please answer. What did she tell you? 32 00:03:10,992 --> 00:03:13,991 They can't let you leave with no answers. 33 00:03:13,992 --> 00:03:17,491 - Bjørn Holm? - What are they supposed to do? 34 00:03:17,492 --> 00:03:23,991 Well, I don't know, but ... It isn't malignant, is it? 35 00:03:23,992 --> 00:03:28,366 I think so. I didn't quite catch what she said. 36 00:03:28,367 --> 00:03:31,366 - You didn't ask? - I must ask for sick leave. 37 00:03:31,367 --> 00:03:34,117 You must ask until you get a clear answer! 38 00:03:35,367 --> 00:03:37,366 - Please join me. - Why? 39 00:03:37,367 --> 00:03:39,742 There's someone you need to see. 40 00:03:42,367 --> 00:03:44,157 - I'll go ask. - No, you don't. 41 00:03:44,158 --> 00:03:46,367 - Yes. - No. 42 00:03:48,908 --> 00:03:52,742 Can you ask both of them to come back inside? 43 00:03:55,992 --> 00:03:58,782 - Hi. - How are you? 44 00:03:58,783 --> 00:04:01,741 SEX / DREAMS / LOVE 45 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:04,532 DREAMS / LOVE 46 00:04:04,533 --> 00:04:07,783 LOVE 47 00:04:19,033 --> 00:04:22,907 All the art we see here, tells us something. 48 00:04:22,908 --> 00:04:25,907 I think it's essential that we see 49 00:04:25,908 --> 00:04:31,991 the city hall decorations as a message to all of us living in Oslo. 50 00:04:31,992 --> 00:04:35,907 And with that in mind, you will see 51 00:04:35,908 --> 00:04:39,657 that the whole building radiates human values. 52 00:04:39,658 --> 00:04:41,866 That frieze, for instance, displays 53 00:04:41,867 --> 00:04:44,741 different constellations of women with children. 54 00:04:44,742 --> 00:04:47,366 To the left, a single woman with child. 55 00:04:47,367 --> 00:04:50,657 And next to her, two women with a child together. 56 00:04:50,658 --> 00:04:56,032 I interpret it as an approvement of both single mothers and same-sex parenthood. 57 00:04:56,033 --> 00:05:01,657 And in extension, an unequivocal municipal tribute to homosexuality. 58 00:05:01,658 --> 00:05:06,782 Isn't that wonderful? This is my friend Marianne, by the way. 59 00:05:06,783 --> 00:05:12,117 Feel free to join us. Let's find some other good examples on the west wall. 60 00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:28,699 In this country, we do love sports achievements. 61 00:05:28,700 --> 00:05:33,366 So I love the fact that the sport they chose 62 00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:37,782 is one which to such a degree embraces the feminine. 63 00:05:37,783 --> 00:05:40,200 Namely, figure skating! 64 00:05:43,325 --> 00:05:47,991 Here we see the very symbol of Oslo - the Oslo Girl. 65 00:05:47,992 --> 00:05:50,741 Or the "Oslo Woman", as I like to call her. 66 00:05:50,742 --> 00:05:54,907 See how she stands there, watching and listening. 67 00:05:54,908 --> 00:05:58,117 Beholding her city. I think that's really nice. 68 00:06:00,533 --> 00:06:03,657 On this side, I'd like to show you these two sculptures 69 00:06:03,658 --> 00:06:09,282 which stand out from the rest. The Fisherman by Nils Flakstad. 70 00:06:09,283 --> 00:06:12,991 It represents one of Norway's most important industries. 71 00:06:12,992 --> 00:06:19,074 But we must not forget that the fisherman is also an ancient symbol of Christ. 72 00:06:19,075 --> 00:06:23,907 Therefore, I love to see this figure as a loving and forgiving Christ figure 73 00:06:23,908 --> 00:06:29,532 holding his hand in blessing over the lives of all citizens of Oslo. 74 00:06:29,533 --> 00:06:34,282 And all that encompasses, of dreams and worries ... 75 00:06:34,283 --> 00:06:40,991 And needs, not least sexual needs, which I'd like to link to a figure over here. 76 00:06:40,992 --> 00:06:46,783 This is the sole sculpture which explicitly deals with sexuality. 77 00:06:47,533 --> 00:06:50,032 We see a rendezvous between three people. 78 00:06:50,033 --> 00:06:53,532 A couple on the right, single man on the left. 79 00:06:53,533 --> 00:06:57,532 This meeting is tingling with sexual tension. 80 00:06:57,533 --> 00:06:59,907 Something's clearly going on between the 81 00:06:59,908 --> 00:07:02,657 man on the left and the woman on the right. 82 00:07:02,658 --> 00:07:05,491 But if you study the man on the right, 83 00:07:05,492 --> 00:07:10,532 isn't his gaze also turned toward the other man? 84 00:07:10,533 --> 00:07:15,491 Now look down at his hands, folded over his crotch. 85 00:07:15,492 --> 00:07:20,907 What does that signify? Will this end in a sexual fusion of the three? 86 00:07:20,908 --> 00:07:24,657 A threesome, quite simply? Such things happen. 87 00:07:24,658 --> 00:07:27,657 People have different sexual needs and preferences, 88 00:07:27,658 --> 00:07:33,741 which Jesus sees and acknowledges as part of creation. 89 00:07:33,742 --> 00:07:36,157 What I find especially interesting, is that 90 00:07:36,158 --> 00:07:41,116 such a prominent spot on our town hall's outer wall has been dedicated to sexuality 91 00:07:41,117 --> 00:07:43,741 I find that so moving and considerate. 92 00:07:43,742 --> 00:07:47,991 - But ... isn't this a bit narrow? - How so? 93 00:07:47,992 --> 00:07:51,907 I mean, it seems a bit too niche ... 94 00:07:51,908 --> 00:07:57,741 This is supposed to be the very foundation of Oslo's 100-year anniversary celebration 95 00:07:57,742 --> 00:08:01,282 A national celebration. Flair and party ... 96 00:08:01,283 --> 00:08:07,657 Yes, and we've planned plenty of events in the city around this theme. 97 00:08:07,658 --> 00:08:12,657 - It should go on for days. - Yes. It's an ongoing process that we ... 98 00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:16,241 What do you envisage, specifically? 99 00:08:16,242 --> 00:08:20,657 Making a budget is hard when we don't know what we're working on. 100 00:08:20,658 --> 00:08:23,532 We do have specific suggestions ... 101 00:08:23,533 --> 00:08:26,491 But it won't be just one day. 102 00:08:26,492 --> 00:08:28,907 It's supposed to include everybody. 103 00:08:28,908 --> 00:08:33,531 Absolutely! It's for everybody! But who's "everybody"? 104 00:08:33,532 --> 00:08:35,241 Isn't "everybody" us? 105 00:08:35,242 --> 00:08:39,116 Many little niches for women and men and different ... 106 00:08:39,117 --> 00:08:41,616 And together we're everybody. 107 00:08:41,617 --> 00:08:43,783 See you tomorrow. 108 00:08:45,117 --> 00:08:46,366 - Bye. - Bye. 109 00:08:46,367 --> 00:08:47,782 - That did not go well. - It did! 110 00:08:47,783 --> 00:08:52,657 No, it didn't go well. Can we go and have coffee somewhere? 111 00:08:52,658 --> 00:08:54,657 Don't we have to catch the ferry? 112 00:08:54,658 --> 00:08:58,700 We don't have to be at Nesodden for another two hours. We have plenty of time. 113 00:09:00,242 --> 00:09:04,532 - These were your ideas. - Yes, my presentation. 114 00:09:04,533 --> 00:09:09,532 Everyone presents their idea, then we decide together. 115 00:09:09,533 --> 00:09:13,782 There's also a consultancy firm, of course, who have a proposal. 116 00:09:13,783 --> 00:09:16,991 But it must be based on concern for people. 117 00:09:16,992 --> 00:09:18,991 You think so? 118 00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:22,616 - Me? You think so too. - I do? How so? 119 00:09:22,617 --> 00:09:24,991 When I applied for this job, you said: 120 00:09:24,992 --> 00:09:30,366 "Working for the municipality is an opportunity to help people." 121 00:09:30,367 --> 00:09:32,782 - I said that? - Yes. 122 00:09:32,783 --> 00:09:36,616 - Were you talking about your own job? - Maybe? 123 00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:38,617 "Maybe" ... 124 00:09:39,617 --> 00:09:42,616 You say such things without thinking, Marianne. 125 00:09:42,617 --> 00:09:46,616 "When you speak my name, I go wild with joy 126 00:09:46,617 --> 00:09:51,616 that you know what I'm called." Remember that you wrote that to me? 127 00:09:51,617 --> 00:09:54,616 Yes, you bet. 128 00:09:54,617 --> 00:09:58,241 It's a quote from Ragnar Hovland. What made you think of that now? 129 00:09:58,242 --> 00:10:01,116 I don't know, probably because you said "Marianne". 130 00:10:01,117 --> 00:10:03,532 Tell me more about tonight. 131 00:10:03,533 --> 00:10:07,282 What's happening tonight is ... 132 00:10:07,283 --> 00:10:12,116 I've put together a team to work out the details. 133 00:10:12,117 --> 00:10:15,366 There's a composer, an architect, 134 00:10:15,367 --> 00:10:18,282 a choreographer ... And then we're ... 135 00:10:18,283 --> 00:10:21,657 But what about the geologist? He does know I'm coming? 136 00:10:21,658 --> 00:10:23,658 Yes, of course. 137 00:10:25,617 --> 00:10:28,741 I have a great feeling about it. 138 00:10:28,742 --> 00:10:32,657 Well, it's probably just in my head, but I think you will hit it off. 139 00:10:32,658 --> 00:10:34,241 Hit it off ... 140 00:10:34,242 --> 00:10:38,907 And it's a nice setting for you to meet with other people there, 141 00:10:38,908 --> 00:10:43,991 - so it won't be so stiff, you know... - But I tend to hit it off with many people 142 00:10:43,992 --> 00:10:47,532 - What, how ...? - No, I just ... 143 00:10:47,533 --> 00:10:52,907 I kind of lose the ... It just seems so much more important to you. 144 00:10:52,908 --> 00:10:56,032 - That you meet someone? - Mm. 145 00:10:56,033 --> 00:10:57,783 No. 146 00:10:58,742 --> 00:11:01,117 No, it's not that. 147 00:11:02,533 --> 00:11:05,116 - No, that's not it. - No? 148 00:11:05,117 --> 00:11:08,699 It's not like I talk a lot about missing having a boyfriend, or do I? 149 00:11:08,700 --> 00:11:10,741 No, you don't. 150 00:11:10,742 --> 00:11:14,867 I probably just see it from my point of view. 151 00:11:15,992 --> 00:11:19,532 I stressed so much about meeting someone. 152 00:11:19,533 --> 00:11:22,741 But you have said that you are open to meeting someone. 153 00:11:22,742 --> 00:11:25,532 Yes, I am. 154 00:11:25,533 --> 00:11:29,282 But when you say you were so stressed about not finding someone, 155 00:11:29,283 --> 00:11:32,991 what were you so stressed about? 156 00:11:32,992 --> 00:11:35,782 I don't really know. 157 00:11:35,783 --> 00:11:40,158 You used to love being alone. 158 00:11:42,783 --> 00:11:47,741 Is it the security a relationship brings? 159 00:11:47,742 --> 00:11:50,241 - Maybe ... - I've been thinking about that a lot. 160 00:11:50,242 --> 00:11:52,991 I don't feel insecure in life. And neither do you. 161 00:11:52,992 --> 00:11:54,532 No. 162 00:11:54,533 --> 00:11:58,907 Well, I like being married. 163 00:11:58,908 --> 00:12:01,492 I'm simpler than you in that way. 164 00:12:02,992 --> 00:12:07,532 After seven or eight years in that flat, you decide to buy a bedside table? 165 00:12:07,533 --> 00:12:09,991 It never occurred to me. Where can I get one? 166 00:12:09,992 --> 00:12:14,991 IKEA, I guess. Or a used one online. What kind do you want? 167 00:12:14,992 --> 00:12:17,991 It must be a low one that matches the bed. 168 00:12:17,992 --> 00:12:20,491 - You'll need two. - No. 169 00:12:20,492 --> 00:12:24,532 You can't have a double bed with a table on one side. That's sad. 170 00:12:24,533 --> 00:12:26,782 Who cares? Why is that sad? 171 00:12:26,783 --> 00:12:29,991 Buying two is not ... 172 00:12:29,992 --> 00:12:34,366 Hi! Are you also going to a party? 173 00:12:34,367 --> 00:12:36,991 - Party? - More like a get-together. 174 00:12:36,992 --> 00:12:40,991 - Or an inspirational meeting. - OK. I'm on my way home. 175 00:12:40,992 --> 00:12:46,991 - You live at Nesodden? I had no idea. - No, I'm not. I'm just borrowing a cabin. 176 00:12:46,992 --> 00:12:49,782 I've been spending the summer there. 177 00:12:49,783 --> 00:12:52,991 - Heidi, my friend, and Tor, my colleague. - Pleasure. 178 00:12:52,992 --> 00:12:56,866 - Have fun, regardless. - We will. 179 00:12:56,867 --> 00:12:58,992 - See you tomorrow? - Sure. Bye. 180 00:13:00,992 --> 00:13:03,991 - Is he a doctor? - No, a nurse. 181 00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:07,992 - I have to find a mirror. - I'll just go outside. 182 00:13:16,742 --> 00:13:18,533 Hi! 183 00:13:31,533 --> 00:13:35,657 You can't take for granted that people actually get what you say. 184 00:13:35,658 --> 00:13:39,657 I've been thinking about that patient all day. 185 00:13:39,658 --> 00:13:45,407 - I'm so glad you caught that. - Well, he reminded me of my dad. 186 00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:49,157 - I can be a bit like that, too. - You can? 187 00:13:49,158 --> 00:13:56,157 Well, I can relate to not daring to ask in case I make a fool of myself. 188 00:13:56,158 --> 00:14:00,157 - I see. Where are you from? - Hobøl, in Østfold county. 189 00:14:00,158 --> 00:14:03,907 - Did you grow up on a farm? - No, but my mum did. 190 00:14:03,908 --> 00:14:06,907 - I see. - But they weren't farmers. 191 00:14:06,908 --> 00:14:10,907 They're ordinary folk. My dad worked in construction. 192 00:14:10,908 --> 00:14:14,241 - And you became a nurse. - Yes, eventually. 193 00:14:14,242 --> 00:14:18,199 I never imagined that you were from Hobøl, or even Østfold. 194 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:22,241 No? Because I'm so good-looking? 195 00:14:22,242 --> 00:14:25,741 - Do you think you're that good-looking? - I was joking. 196 00:14:25,742 --> 00:14:29,824 But I have been told by people when going out. 197 00:14:29,825 --> 00:14:31,032 No, really? 198 00:14:31,033 --> 00:14:34,616 "You're too good-looking to come from Østfold." 199 00:14:34,617 --> 00:14:40,616 - Do people really say that? - Nah. Or yes, it's happened a few times. 200 00:14:40,617 --> 00:14:44,616 Maybe it's the dialect. It's hard to be taken seriously. 201 00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:47,324 - You can't tell he's from Østfold. - No. 202 00:14:47,325 --> 00:14:48,574 I try to hide it. 203 00:14:48,575 --> 00:14:51,449 You can't tell that we're from Dokka either. 204 00:14:51,450 --> 00:14:55,616 - No, I don't think so. - Dokka? Where's that? 205 00:14:55,617 --> 00:15:00,617 Not far from Gjøvik. Between Gjøvik and Fagernes. 206 00:15:11,658 --> 00:15:14,282 - Where's your cabin? - There it is. 207 00:15:14,283 --> 00:15:17,532 - The small red one? - Yes, the first one you see. 208 00:15:17,533 --> 00:15:20,700 - Right by the ferry quay. - Yes. 209 00:15:22,908 --> 00:15:25,575 - Bye. - Bye. 210 00:15:32,783 --> 00:15:35,782 - Wow, this one? - Yes. 211 00:15:35,783 --> 00:15:39,783 - What a house! He must be wealthy? - Wealthy? 212 00:15:42,992 --> 00:15:45,658 - Hi. - Hi. 213 00:15:46,992 --> 00:15:49,991 How did your presentation go? Wasn't that today? 214 00:15:49,992 --> 00:15:55,157 - Not good. I didn't get my points across. - No, it went really well. 215 00:15:55,158 --> 00:15:58,282 I'm sure it did. You made it sound so great. 216 00:15:58,283 --> 00:16:00,991 I was almost jealous of your ideas. 217 00:16:00,992 --> 00:16:03,282 - Hi. Ole Harald. - Marianne. 218 00:16:03,283 --> 00:16:06,991 So you're Marianne! Heidi told us about you. 219 00:16:06,992 --> 00:16:09,991 - You're not part of ... - No, I'm a doctor. 220 00:16:09,992 --> 00:16:14,991 You just came along? What will you be serving them? 221 00:16:14,992 --> 00:16:19,657 - Beer and wine. Snacks. - Have a barbecue! He's so good at it. 222 00:16:19,658 --> 00:16:23,782 None of my business. Let's go, girls. Daddy has a meeting. 223 00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:27,366 Hey, you ... Just go inside. The others are already here. 224 00:16:27,367 --> 00:16:31,991 - Let's go home now. Come along. - No! 225 00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:34,532 We've discussed this. Daddy has a meeting. 226 00:16:34,533 --> 00:16:37,366 - Please? - Let go. One, two, three! 227 00:16:37,367 --> 00:16:41,282 These days, the concept "feminism" has to encompass so much. 228 00:16:41,283 --> 00:16:44,991 Yes, it's been diluted to the point where it's lost all meaning. 229 00:16:44,992 --> 00:16:47,907 - Hi! - I'm so glad you could make it. 230 00:16:47,908 --> 00:16:50,574 - All of you. Hi... - Ismael. 231 00:16:50,575 --> 00:16:54,282 - Heidi. You're the architect? - Hi. Åbel. 232 00:16:54,283 --> 00:16:57,782 - Marianne. - Hi, Anna. Nice to see you again. 233 00:16:57,783 --> 00:17:01,907 - This is Marianne. - I have nothing to do with this. 234 00:17:01,908 --> 00:17:08,907 Right. I couldn't help but hear that you were talking about feminism? 235 00:17:08,908 --> 00:17:14,365 I'm curious, do you think we're preaching to the choir with this project? 236 00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:18,490 - I'm not sure, it depends ... - It depends how you see it. 237 00:17:18,491 --> 00:17:22,990 My mum called me last night, and I told her about this. 238 00:17:22,991 --> 00:17:28,116 I told her this was a municipal project. But she can't relate to feminism. 239 00:17:28,117 --> 00:17:33,116 She says it has nothing to do with her. She's trying to get home aid, 240 00:17:33,117 --> 00:17:38,866 but can't figure out how to apply. She calls them, to no avail, which is ... 241 00:17:38,867 --> 00:17:42,116 So you think we should celebrate the anniversary 242 00:17:42,117 --> 00:17:46,116 by improving public services and making better web solutions? 243 00:17:46,117 --> 00:17:52,116 - The one does not rule out the other. - No, not at all. 244 00:17:52,117 --> 00:17:58,116 - Are you employed by the municipality? - Yes, in the Department of Culture. 245 00:17:58,117 --> 00:18:03,116 And I am project leader for the anniversary. 246 00:18:03,117 --> 00:18:10,116 - I am a historian by education. - With a very impressive doctoral thesis. 247 00:18:10,117 --> 00:18:14,116 - Okay, wow! - I wrote my thesis on fashion history. 248 00:18:14,117 --> 00:18:18,616 - On which subject? - Per Spook, if you've heard of him? 249 00:18:18,617 --> 00:18:22,116 Hi. This is ... 250 00:18:22,117 --> 00:18:24,116 Yes. Hi. 251 00:18:24,117 --> 00:18:28,116 Right, this is ... Would you ...? No? 252 00:18:28,117 --> 00:18:32,116 As I said in the email, 253 00:18:32,117 --> 00:18:37,117 I intended this to be an initial or inspirational meeting. 254 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:41,116 Very similar words, I hear that now. 255 00:18:41,117 --> 00:18:49,116 If we start out with the fundamentals, namely the ground we walk on... 256 00:18:49,117 --> 00:18:52,991 And since I have a good neighbour who's a geologist 257 00:18:52,992 --> 00:18:56,074 I started to think about it, 258 00:18:56,075 --> 00:19:00,616 and thought that maybe this perspective could open up some new thoughts. 259 00:19:00,617 --> 00:19:03,116 - I don't know if you ... - Uhm, yes? 260 00:19:03,117 --> 00:19:06,241 I was planning to say a few words 261 00:19:06,242 --> 00:19:11,616 about the city's geological formation. 262 00:19:11,617 --> 00:19:15,117 And so on. If that can tempt you? 263 00:19:16,533 --> 00:19:18,991 I suggest we go up on the roof, 264 00:19:18,992 --> 00:19:25,782 where the view is better. We can see the whole city from there. 265 00:19:25,783 --> 00:19:26,782 Exciting. 266 00:19:26,783 --> 00:19:30,907 - If you just follow me? - Excellent. 267 00:19:30,908 --> 00:19:34,907 That shirt ... It's so nice. 268 00:19:34,908 --> 00:19:37,657 - Why, thank you! - I noticed it too. 269 00:19:37,658 --> 00:19:40,991 I feel some buyer's shame. It's my most expensive shirt ever. 270 00:19:40,992 --> 00:19:44,657 There's no fence out there, so please sit down. 271 00:19:44,658 --> 00:19:47,282 I don't want anyone to fall down. 272 00:19:47,283 --> 00:19:50,658 - Can I step here? - Sure, don't think about it. 273 00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:55,657 - Whose bed are we stepping in? - It's mine. 274 00:19:55,658 --> 00:19:58,991 - You sleep here? - I should've changed the sheets. 275 00:19:58,992 --> 00:20:02,657 - No, why? - No, I just ... I grew up here. 276 00:20:02,658 --> 00:20:08,657 Well, in the old house that used to be here. My room was here, more or less. 277 00:20:08,658 --> 00:20:12,366 - So this is the boy's room? - Yes, the boy's bed. 278 00:20:12,367 --> 00:20:15,533 - Is that exciting to you? - Yes, a little. 279 00:20:16,533 --> 00:20:20,866 - I think it got a little exciting myself. - It's not the widest. 280 00:20:20,867 --> 00:20:25,657 No, but ... there's room, if you want there to be. 281 00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:28,783 If you want there to be, there's room. 282 00:20:29,992 --> 00:20:31,533 Right ... 283 00:20:36,992 --> 00:20:41,991 I'd like to start out by saying that everything is in flux. 284 00:20:41,992 --> 00:20:47,032 Constantly. Hence, nothing is truly fundamental. 285 00:20:47,033 --> 00:20:50,199 But we do have historical facts. 286 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:53,157 "The Oslo Cauldron" derives its name from 287 00:20:53,158 --> 00:20:58,116 the hills of Nordmarka and Ekeberg which slope down to the lowland, 288 00:20:58,117 --> 00:21:00,782 giving it a cauldron-like shape. 289 00:21:00,783 --> 00:21:06,157 What we call Oslo today, is made up from three species of stone. 290 00:21:06,158 --> 00:21:09,782 We have the bedrock area, 291 00:21:09,783 --> 00:21:14,782 which consists of hard species like gneiss and granite. 292 00:21:14,783 --> 00:21:19,032 This area stretches from Østmarka to Ekeberg, 293 00:21:19,033 --> 00:21:21,866 and slopes down to Bunnefjorden. 294 00:21:21,867 --> 00:21:24,366 Then we have "the centre". 295 00:21:24,367 --> 00:21:30,116 That mostly consists of Cambro-Silurian; softer stone species 296 00:21:30,117 --> 00:21:37,616 like limestone and slate, and lots of deposit and clay. 297 00:21:37,617 --> 00:21:42,116 And if you look at the surrounding heights, like Nordmarka and Sørkedalen, 298 00:21:42,117 --> 00:21:46,907 we find mostly eruptive species, like lava and basalt. 299 00:21:46,908 --> 00:21:52,157 These are species of rock that are "up-going", 300 00:21:52,158 --> 00:21:55,366 as one high school teacher explained to me. 301 00:21:55,367 --> 00:22:01,242 And all this makes up the topography which may resemble a cauldron. 302 00:22:05,242 --> 00:22:10,907 I'm not sure it's up to me to interpret what impact geology has on our lives. 303 00:22:10,908 --> 00:22:15,782 But ... yeah, I think, like, where you walk, where you put your feet, 304 00:22:15,783 --> 00:22:21,657 but also what surrounds us; the buildings, for example, or the flora, 305 00:22:21,658 --> 00:22:24,491 it affects us mentally. 306 00:22:24,492 --> 00:22:29,116 I think you can look at it a bit like the smell of clothes 307 00:22:29,117 --> 00:22:33,533 of someone who doesn't use deodorant or perfumes or anything like that. 308 00:22:34,533 --> 00:22:38,032 You react to that smell. 309 00:22:38,033 --> 00:22:40,782 It has a personality, and it can challenge you. 310 00:22:40,783 --> 00:22:45,116 You feel it in your body. 311 00:22:45,117 --> 00:22:50,408 And in the same way, I think it also impacts our soul. 312 00:23:20,117 --> 00:23:24,407 Yes, we can go back down. Would anyone like some wine? 313 00:23:24,408 --> 00:23:27,907 - Yes, please. - Or something else? 314 00:23:27,908 --> 00:23:29,992 Let's go down. 315 00:23:31,533 --> 00:23:33,533 Watch your head. 316 00:23:50,117 --> 00:23:55,116 When the architect mentioned his mum not getting the help she needs ... 317 00:23:55,117 --> 00:24:01,116 When so many things don't work, it makes this whole celebration all ... 318 00:24:01,117 --> 00:24:06,282 It's like I haven't thought this through. That our focus should be elsewhere. 319 00:24:06,283 --> 00:24:09,116 I think you're complicating things. 320 00:24:09,117 --> 00:24:14,116 One thing being important doesn't make another any less important or interesting. 321 00:24:14,117 --> 00:24:19,116 This keeps happening. You have this profoundly original idea, 322 00:24:19,117 --> 00:24:23,116 which is all yours, but then the doubts set in. 323 00:24:23,117 --> 00:24:26,116 - Ida, this won't do. - It must be exhausting. 324 00:24:26,117 --> 00:24:31,116 You can't run away from mummy. Let's go home and read a bedtime story. 325 00:24:31,117 --> 00:24:34,116 I get that you need to think things through. 326 00:24:34,117 --> 00:24:37,532 You had brushed your teeth and were about to go to bed! 327 00:24:37,533 --> 00:24:40,116 Let's go read a bedtime story. 328 00:24:40,117 --> 00:24:43,116 - Come on, let's go. - Hi, Solveig. 329 00:24:43,117 --> 00:24:47,657 - Let me help you up. - I'm fine. 330 00:24:47,658 --> 00:24:52,116 Okay. Where's Oda? Is she home alone? 331 00:24:52,117 --> 00:24:56,032 Oda is at home with Geir. They're asleep. 332 00:24:56,033 --> 00:24:58,116 - Come. - I'm fine. 333 00:24:58,117 --> 00:25:02,657 It's just me who can't sleep. Let's go home, dear. 334 00:25:02,658 --> 00:25:05,866 - Come. - She can sleep here. You go home. 335 00:25:05,867 --> 00:25:08,991 - But this is my week. - No, this is how it'll be. 336 00:25:08,992 --> 00:25:13,117 Solveig, let's walk home together. I'll go get my purse. 337 00:25:15,117 --> 00:25:18,116 - Everything's fine out here? - Yes. 338 00:25:18,117 --> 00:25:20,117 You didn't make them anything? 339 00:25:22,117 --> 00:25:25,116 - I'll just leave. - Bad form, Ole. 340 00:25:25,117 --> 00:25:28,117 We had fish pie, didn't we? 341 00:25:29,117 --> 00:25:31,867 - And white wine. - How lovely. 342 00:25:33,117 --> 00:25:36,116 I don't like to throw away food. 343 00:25:36,117 --> 00:25:41,116 - Ida, why don't we go home, dear? - Solveig, let's go. 344 00:25:41,117 --> 00:25:45,782 - I'm leaving too. - Can I ask you something? 345 00:25:45,783 --> 00:25:49,907 - Of course. - Both my mum and aunt had cancer. 346 00:25:49,908 --> 00:25:51,866 Yes? 347 00:25:51,867 --> 00:25:55,116 Sorry ... So I was just wondering ... 348 00:25:55,117 --> 00:25:57,866 Sorry! I'm fine. 349 00:25:57,867 --> 00:26:03,033 I just wondered if you knew of any correlation between cancer and insomnia? 350 00:26:04,492 --> 00:26:10,492 I've never heard of any conclusive studies. So don't you worry. 351 00:26:11,492 --> 00:26:17,532 - Come. You'll find your way to the ferry? - Ida, see you tomorrow. Sleep tight. 352 00:26:17,533 --> 00:26:22,491 - Okay, bye. - I'll mail you before Wednesday. 353 00:26:22,492 --> 00:26:25,492 - Great. Bye! - Later. 354 00:26:26,492 --> 00:26:30,491 - Sorry about this. - No need to apologize. 355 00:26:30,492 --> 00:26:34,491 - Hey there! - I'd like to talk some more. 356 00:26:34,492 --> 00:26:37,491 - Me too. - To find out what's your story. 357 00:26:37,492 --> 00:26:39,907 I don't know if I have a story, but ... 358 00:26:39,908 --> 00:26:45,491 Who you are. Anyhow, I really enjoyed talking to you. 359 00:26:45,492 --> 00:26:49,491 So did I. Well ... 360 00:26:49,492 --> 00:26:52,283 - Bye, and good luck. - Bye. 361 00:27:54,992 --> 00:27:56,241 - Hi. - Hi. 362 00:27:56,242 --> 00:27:59,241 - Are you following me? - Likewise. 363 00:27:59,242 --> 00:28:01,367 Three times in one day? 364 00:28:02,992 --> 00:28:04,992 Where are you headed? 365 00:28:06,367 --> 00:28:10,991 - Out on the town? - No, not out on the town. 366 00:28:10,992 --> 00:28:13,991 - Okay? - I'm not going anywhere. 367 00:28:13,992 --> 00:28:16,991 - You're just taking the ferry? - Yes. 368 00:28:16,992 --> 00:28:21,907 I just take the ferry, back and forth. I do that sometimes. 369 00:28:21,908 --> 00:28:24,991 How was the party? 370 00:28:24,992 --> 00:28:27,991 Party, well ... 371 00:28:27,992 --> 00:28:33,992 It actually ended rather abruptly. Oh, that was weird. 372 00:28:34,992 --> 00:28:42,533 I only went because Heidi wants to set me up with a neighbour. 373 00:28:43,533 --> 00:28:49,991 And that ... Well, he's divorced, and his ex-wife lives in the house next door. 374 00:28:49,992 --> 00:28:52,616 - Oh well. - Not your type? 375 00:28:52,617 --> 00:28:54,991 Yes, absolutely. 376 00:28:54,992 --> 00:28:57,992 Maybe. We'll see. 377 00:28:58,992 --> 00:29:02,241 And you just take the ferry back and forth? 378 00:29:02,242 --> 00:29:08,616 Yes, sometimes when I can't sleep and I'm feeling restless, 379 00:29:08,617 --> 00:29:10,700 I take the ferry. 380 00:29:11,617 --> 00:29:13,782 Mostly to look for ... 381 00:29:13,783 --> 00:29:16,992 - To look for men, really. - Okay. 382 00:29:18,825 --> 00:29:24,991 - You know Grindr? Or Tinder, for sure. - Of course, and I know about Grindr too. 383 00:29:24,992 --> 00:29:29,991 You can see who's on, and who's nearest in distance. 384 00:29:29,992 --> 00:29:33,241 There's something about being in a confined space, like a ferry. 385 00:29:33,242 --> 00:29:36,991 You can see who's on. 386 00:29:36,992 --> 00:29:40,782 And when you see them on the screen, you can just look up. 387 00:29:40,783 --> 00:29:43,282 And they could be right in front of you. 388 00:29:43,283 --> 00:29:46,991 - Is anyone on tonight? - No, not right now. 389 00:29:46,992 --> 00:29:49,991 - But it does happen? - Absolutely. Often. 390 00:29:49,992 --> 00:29:52,991 Okay, then what do you do? 391 00:29:52,992 --> 00:29:57,991 Nothing at all, sometimes. Maybe just exchange glances. 392 00:29:57,992 --> 00:30:00,992 - Or we go out on deck. - And have sex? 393 00:30:01,992 --> 00:30:04,366 Yes? Mostly, we just talk. 394 00:30:04,367 --> 00:30:06,782 Maybe we arrange something. 395 00:30:06,783 --> 00:30:09,366 For me, it's mostly about the thrill. 396 00:30:09,367 --> 00:30:13,658 Meeting someone's gaze and realizing that we're both "on". 397 00:30:14,992 --> 00:30:18,907 But have you ever had sex on the Nesodden ferry? 398 00:30:18,908 --> 00:30:24,741 A few times. But the trip is so short that you can only do so much. 399 00:30:24,742 --> 00:30:25,782 Right. 400 00:30:25,783 --> 00:30:29,492 - It's a bit like cruising. - Cruising, what's that? 401 00:30:30,492 --> 00:30:32,657 You have no idea? 402 00:30:32,658 --> 00:30:38,116 It's about going to certain places for casual sex. 403 00:30:38,117 --> 00:30:43,532 There are many cruising spots. Often secluded parts of parks or woods, 404 00:30:43,533 --> 00:30:47,532 - where men go to meet other men. - And have sex. 405 00:30:47,533 --> 00:30:50,116 Yes. 406 00:30:50,117 --> 00:30:56,657 But not just that. On this boat, we mostly just talk. 407 00:30:56,658 --> 00:31:01,782 And sometimes, when you're cruising in a park, 408 00:31:01,783 --> 00:31:05,658 you sit down and talk after having sex. 409 00:31:06,992 --> 00:31:09,366 And there's something about that post-sex talk. 410 00:31:09,367 --> 00:31:14,866 Because these are people you don't know anything about. 411 00:31:14,867 --> 00:31:18,907 You may not know their name. Maybe you never will. 412 00:31:18,908 --> 00:31:23,491 And being on neutral ground creates this ... 413 00:31:23,492 --> 00:31:28,532 - strange, yet pleasant closeness. - Right. 414 00:31:28,533 --> 00:31:32,616 Which makes opening up feel so natural. 415 00:31:32,617 --> 00:31:37,616 - What do you talk about? - Anything. These are all kinds of people. 416 00:31:37,617 --> 00:31:41,616 Some are still in the closet. 417 00:31:41,617 --> 00:31:47,616 And some don't see themselves as gay at all. They just enjoy sex with men. 418 00:31:47,617 --> 00:31:53,032 And some are very sad and ridden with guilt. 419 00:31:53,033 --> 00:31:57,532 Maybe they've snuck out of family dinners or children's parties 420 00:31:57,533 --> 00:32:00,033 and need to talk about it. 421 00:32:01,033 --> 00:32:05,158 Some just want to talk about coming out. 422 00:32:05,992 --> 00:32:08,991 - But you're out, right? - Me? Yes. 423 00:32:08,992 --> 00:32:14,532 To me, it was easy. But you hear these crazy stories. 424 00:32:14,533 --> 00:32:17,783 Parents cutting all contact. 425 00:32:19,992 --> 00:32:21,783 Sheer evil. 426 00:32:30,992 --> 00:32:35,992 Tonight, that guy I was being set up with, he ... 427 00:32:36,992 --> 00:32:42,242 He isn't really the type of guy I'd even consider. 428 00:32:43,242 --> 00:32:48,241 Then we went out on his roof. He wanted to show us something. 429 00:32:48,242 --> 00:32:52,617 And out there, I suddenly felt this overwhelming closeness. 430 00:32:53,533 --> 00:32:58,616 And I couldn't control my hands. I grabbed his butt. 431 00:32:58,617 --> 00:33:02,907 - How did he react? - I've never done anything of the like. 432 00:33:02,908 --> 00:33:06,907 How he reacted? Well, he was surprised. As was I. 433 00:33:06,908 --> 00:33:09,907 - But I think he liked it. - Did you like it? 434 00:33:09,908 --> 00:33:12,907 - Yes, I liked it. - Okay ... 435 00:33:12,908 --> 00:33:15,907 What kind of guy is he? 436 00:33:15,908 --> 00:33:20,907 He's kind of sly, warm and cheeky, all at once. 437 00:33:20,908 --> 00:33:23,907 And what kind of men turn you on? 438 00:33:23,908 --> 00:33:28,241 I have no idea. It feels completely unpredictable. 439 00:33:28,242 --> 00:33:30,907 And you? What turns you on? 440 00:33:30,908 --> 00:33:35,907 - A certain type of skin, I think. - Okay? 441 00:33:35,908 --> 00:33:38,907 It's pretty hard to explain. 442 00:33:38,908 --> 00:33:42,908 I can get turned on by ... sweat. 443 00:33:44,908 --> 00:33:47,907 The skin on the inner thighs, when it's sweaty ... 444 00:33:47,908 --> 00:33:49,907 Okay ... 445 00:33:49,908 --> 00:33:53,907 I can get turned on by all sorts of things. 446 00:33:53,908 --> 00:33:57,907 Are you going to see him again? 447 00:33:57,908 --> 00:34:00,491 That Nesodden guy? Yes ... Yes? 448 00:34:00,492 --> 00:34:02,658 Or no? I don't ... 449 00:34:03,658 --> 00:34:07,908 I don't know. These things always get so complicated. 450 00:34:09,908 --> 00:34:14,907 I wish I could've had sex with him tonight, and never seen him again. 451 00:34:14,908 --> 00:34:19,283 Because you're not looking for a relationship? 452 00:34:20,783 --> 00:34:23,116 Yes and no ... 453 00:34:23,117 --> 00:34:26,907 - Do you have a bedside table? - Bedside table? 454 00:34:26,908 --> 00:34:32,907 Yes, two of them. I keep them in a storage unit while I'm staying at the cabin. 455 00:34:32,908 --> 00:34:34,908 Why do you ask? 456 00:34:42,033 --> 00:34:44,991 - You're getting off here? - Mm. You're staying on? 457 00:34:44,992 --> 00:34:46,116 Good luck. 458 00:34:46,117 --> 00:34:48,242 - Thanks. - Bye. 459 00:36:07,908 --> 00:36:08,908 Hi. 460 00:36:10,283 --> 00:36:11,783 Hi. 461 00:36:12,992 --> 00:36:14,991 Had a nice evening so far? 462 00:36:14,992 --> 00:36:16,992 Nice evening? 463 00:36:18,283 --> 00:36:20,657 I've been working. 464 00:36:20,658 --> 00:36:24,991 - And now? Going home to your partner? - No. 465 00:36:24,992 --> 00:36:27,992 No, there's no partner. 466 00:36:29,658 --> 00:36:33,282 - Why were you working so late? - I had a patient. 467 00:36:33,283 --> 00:36:35,907 - I'm a psychologist. - Wow! 468 00:36:35,908 --> 00:36:39,116 Right? I think so too. 469 00:36:39,117 --> 00:36:40,658 Wow. 470 00:36:42,783 --> 00:36:46,116 Well, what's it like? 471 00:36:46,117 --> 00:36:52,157 Right now, it feels like working in a factory. Assembly-line work. 472 00:36:52,158 --> 00:36:54,282 In what way? 473 00:36:54,283 --> 00:36:56,283 In what way ... 474 00:36:58,283 --> 00:37:00,282 I mean ... 475 00:37:00,283 --> 00:37:04,782 If you have grown up 476 00:37:04,783 --> 00:37:11,157 with the expectation that nothing in life should ever be painful or challenging, 477 00:37:11,158 --> 00:37:14,657 you'll break down at the slightest hint of adversity. 478 00:37:14,658 --> 00:37:18,366 You'll think having a bad day is not normal. 479 00:37:18,367 --> 00:37:20,533 And that you need treatment. 480 00:37:22,033 --> 00:37:25,908 It almost feels wrong to say it, but I ... 481 00:37:27,033 --> 00:37:32,991 Sometimes, I just want to tell them to pull themselves together. 482 00:37:32,992 --> 00:37:35,533 It'd be so much cheaper. 483 00:37:36,533 --> 00:37:39,533 Okay ... I saw you on Grindr. 484 00:37:40,533 --> 00:37:45,532 - I'm not really that interested in ... - I can leave. 485 00:37:45,533 --> 00:37:49,533 Not at all, feel free to stay. 486 00:37:50,533 --> 00:37:55,532 Other than that, are you looking for a partner or just sex? 487 00:37:55,533 --> 00:38:00,532 - "Just" sex? Nothing's "just" sex. - No? 488 00:38:00,533 --> 00:38:02,533 Well, no ... 489 00:38:03,533 --> 00:38:06,532 I don't think so. Not to most, anyhow. 490 00:38:06,533 --> 00:38:09,949 But you're perhaps someone who has a lot of sex? 491 00:38:09,950 --> 00:38:14,532 Yes. I guess I ... Yes. 492 00:38:14,533 --> 00:38:18,532 - With many different partners? - Yes. 493 00:38:18,533 --> 00:38:21,533 - No steady partner? - No, I ... 494 00:38:22,533 --> 00:38:26,533 - I'll sit over here, if that's okay. - Okay. 495 00:38:27,533 --> 00:38:30,533 I'm fine with not having a steady partner. 496 00:38:33,033 --> 00:38:35,032 What's it like, then? 497 00:38:35,033 --> 00:38:38,033 Having sex, nowadays? 498 00:38:39,658 --> 00:38:43,491 Well, it's ... Are you joking? 499 00:38:43,492 --> 00:38:45,491 - No. - No? 500 00:38:45,492 --> 00:38:49,032 What's it like to have sex nowadays ... 501 00:38:49,033 --> 00:38:52,533 It's good. What do you mean, exactly? 502 00:38:53,242 --> 00:38:56,782 I don't know ... Do you feel safe? 503 00:38:56,783 --> 00:38:58,783 Safe? Yes. 504 00:39:00,158 --> 00:39:02,991 But no, not everyone does. 505 00:39:02,992 --> 00:39:05,532 Some bodies are so tense 506 00:39:05,533 --> 00:39:09,657 that you can see how hard they try to squeeze out anything at all. 507 00:39:09,658 --> 00:39:13,532 Whether it's semen or emotions. 508 00:39:13,533 --> 00:39:18,032 - But they might have watched a lot of porn - Right. So you wouldn't recommend that? 509 00:39:18,033 --> 00:39:20,241 Porn? Sure. 510 00:39:20,242 --> 00:39:25,532 It could help you discover what you like, if nothing else. 511 00:39:25,533 --> 00:39:27,325 Kinky stuff? 512 00:39:28,492 --> 00:39:32,033 Kinky ... What's kinky, then? 513 00:39:33,783 --> 00:39:35,783 Isn't that mostly up here? 514 00:39:38,533 --> 00:39:44,241 I don't know. I think most things can be nice. 515 00:39:44,242 --> 00:39:47,782 I can enjoy getting fucked by many men at once. 516 00:39:47,783 --> 00:39:51,782 Or get peed on. 517 00:39:51,783 --> 00:39:55,783 I think both can be very arousing. 518 00:39:57,242 --> 00:40:01,782 But when it does happen, I don't think of it as kinky. 519 00:40:01,783 --> 00:40:04,657 - No? - Just good. 520 00:40:04,658 --> 00:40:06,158 Or nice. 521 00:40:08,533 --> 00:40:11,533 But maybe that's what you mean by kinky? 522 00:40:12,908 --> 00:40:15,532 No, I ... 523 00:40:15,533 --> 00:40:17,367 I don't know. 524 00:40:19,783 --> 00:40:25,158 You're not interested in anything? Neither sex nor boyfriend? 525 00:40:26,533 --> 00:40:28,782 As if they are opposites? 526 00:40:28,783 --> 00:40:33,491 Don't most people want both? 527 00:40:33,492 --> 00:40:38,366 Both many sex partners and someone who loves you exclusively? 528 00:40:38,367 --> 00:40:42,992 - Isn't that the dilemma? - It doesn't have to be. 529 00:40:46,075 --> 00:40:51,157 I'm so thoughtless. I haven't asked you what you do. 530 00:40:51,158 --> 00:40:54,907 Or if you've had a nice evening, or anything. 531 00:40:54,908 --> 00:40:58,532 I'm sorry about that. That was really rude. 532 00:40:58,533 --> 00:41:04,116 I'm not normally this self-absorbed. It was really kind of you to come over. 533 00:41:04,117 --> 00:41:08,992 I appreciated that, just so you know. But we're almost there now. 534 00:41:10,033 --> 00:41:13,491 - I think I'll head back inside. - Sure. 535 00:41:13,492 --> 00:41:15,908 You have a nice evening. 536 00:41:19,992 --> 00:41:22,657 What's your name? 537 00:41:22,658 --> 00:41:25,908 - It's Bjørn. - Bjørn ... 538 00:41:26,908 --> 00:41:30,116 My name's Tor. 539 00:41:30,117 --> 00:41:31,908 I see. 540 00:41:32,992 --> 00:41:34,658 Goodbye, Tor. 541 00:41:35,658 --> 00:41:37,367 Goodbye, Bjørn. 542 00:41:44,533 --> 00:41:46,491 Am I going to die? 543 00:41:46,492 --> 00:41:49,782 No, you're not going to die. 544 00:41:49,783 --> 00:41:51,908 It's just that ... 545 00:41:55,658 --> 00:41:58,657 I don't feel like someone who gets cancer. 546 00:41:58,658 --> 00:42:00,907 No ... 547 00:42:00,908 --> 00:42:04,033 I realize that this is very painful news. 548 00:42:04,992 --> 00:42:08,241 But you came to me early. You came here early. 549 00:42:08,242 --> 00:42:12,658 - You'll be just fine. - Yes ... 550 00:42:13,908 --> 00:42:17,366 The prognosis is excellent. Keep that in mind. 551 00:42:17,367 --> 00:42:20,366 But you did tell me that I must undergo treatment? 552 00:42:20,367 --> 00:42:23,282 We'll find you the best treatment. 553 00:42:23,283 --> 00:42:29,032 That'd be either chemotherapy, radiation, or surgery, right? 554 00:42:29,033 --> 00:42:32,157 Most probably, yes. 555 00:42:32,158 --> 00:42:35,032 I can't ... 556 00:42:35,033 --> 00:42:37,782 I can't do that! 557 00:42:37,783 --> 00:42:42,782 I can't be that bald guy on television speaking out about it. 558 00:42:42,783 --> 00:42:45,991 But you won't have to do that. 559 00:42:45,992 --> 00:42:51,075 - No, nobody has to do that. - I'm not like that! 560 00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:53,657 THURSDAY, 14 AUGUST 561 00:42:53,658 --> 00:42:55,532 I think he is like that. 562 00:42:55,533 --> 00:42:59,282 It says here that he's a standup comedian. Have you heard of him? 563 00:42:59,283 --> 00:43:04,532 - Yes. Do you find it hard to have empathy? - No, I don't. 564 00:43:04,533 --> 00:43:09,907 I have lots of empathy for him. But this will benefit him financially. 565 00:43:09,908 --> 00:43:14,657 He'll get lots of sympathy on Instagram, write books ... 566 00:43:14,658 --> 00:43:17,782 But in a way that's good. It might help others. 567 00:43:17,783 --> 00:43:22,157 But he'll be yet another successful example of how to cope with illness. 568 00:43:22,158 --> 00:43:26,782 It could make others feel like failures for not coping quite as well. 569 00:43:26,783 --> 00:43:29,991 - I see. - Who knows. Going to lunch? 570 00:43:29,992 --> 00:43:34,782 No, I'm taking time off. Josef is stepping in for me. There he is. 571 00:43:34,783 --> 00:43:39,241 - Hi. - A "Joel" tried to reach you just now. 572 00:43:39,242 --> 00:43:42,657 - Joel? - Personal. He wanted you to call him back. 573 00:43:42,658 --> 00:43:45,532 Could it have been "Hoel"? Ole Harald Hoel? 574 00:43:45,533 --> 00:43:46,782 I couldn't hear. 575 00:43:46,783 --> 00:43:50,657 - I'll make a quick call. - Sure. I'm off. 576 00:43:50,658 --> 00:43:52,367 - All right. Bye. - Bye. 577 00:43:59,908 --> 00:44:02,658 - Someone you know? - Perhaps? 578 00:44:28,533 --> 00:44:31,907 Hi! Do you recognize me? 579 00:44:31,908 --> 00:44:34,157 - From the boat? - Yeah. 580 00:44:34,158 --> 00:44:36,033 On your way home? 581 00:44:37,283 --> 00:44:39,283 Is something wrong? 582 00:44:40,533 --> 00:44:43,532 Hey ... Let me see. 583 00:44:43,533 --> 00:44:46,532 - Can you breathe? - I don't know what's wrong. 584 00:44:46,533 --> 00:44:48,532 Can you raise your arm? 585 00:44:48,533 --> 00:44:52,532 Hey, can you raise your arm? Okay, good. 586 00:44:52,533 --> 00:44:55,533 - I'm fine. - Look at me. 587 00:44:56,533 --> 00:45:00,157 It does look like something's wrong. 588 00:45:00,158 --> 00:45:02,907 Did you get bad news? 589 00:45:02,908 --> 00:45:05,367 - I'm fine. - Yes? 590 00:45:06,783 --> 00:45:08,533 Thank you. 591 00:45:11,533 --> 00:45:13,533 - Hey ... - Listen, I'm fine. 592 00:45:14,533 --> 00:45:17,533 - Are you sure? - Yes, completely. 593 00:45:46,033 --> 00:45:49,033 "I have an innate love for humanity. 594 00:45:50,033 --> 00:45:51,991 For all humans. 595 00:45:51,992 --> 00:45:55,032 And compassion, too. 596 00:45:55,033 --> 00:45:58,574 I don't think I'm cut out for having only one man. 597 00:45:58,575 --> 00:46:03,366 It feels almost childish to love just one human being. 598 00:46:03,367 --> 00:46:06,032 I could never be faithful either. 599 00:46:06,033 --> 00:46:11,033 Not because of other men, but because I consist of so many people." 600 00:46:12,158 --> 00:46:14,658 Which book is it? 601 00:46:15,658 --> 00:46:19,991 It is a diary. Etty Hillesum is her name. 602 00:46:19,992 --> 00:46:23,157 Was her name. I'm reading her diaries and letters. 603 00:46:23,158 --> 00:46:27,366 I read that last one on my way here. I like it so much. 604 00:46:27,367 --> 00:46:30,032 - Do you think it's for me? - I don't know. 605 00:46:30,033 --> 00:46:33,032 You can borrow it when I'm done. 606 00:46:33,033 --> 00:46:39,283 - What are you reading? If anything? - I mostly read scientific literature. 607 00:46:40,242 --> 00:46:43,491 I'm not that fond of stories. 608 00:46:43,492 --> 00:46:46,282 "Then this happened, then this happened ..." 609 00:46:46,283 --> 00:46:51,783 - It doesn't feel real to me. - True. A diary is different, though. 610 00:46:52,783 --> 00:46:59,657 It is inherently unpredictable, and consists of things both past and present. 611 00:46:59,658 --> 00:47:03,033 It has no retroactive logic. 612 00:47:04,492 --> 00:47:07,491 I mostly read about rocks. 613 00:47:07,492 --> 00:47:11,657 I write about rocks too. I think I write more than I read. 614 00:47:11,658 --> 00:47:16,282 - I see. - I usually sit in that chair. 615 00:47:16,283 --> 00:47:19,199 - And write. - About rocks. 616 00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:23,657 About rocks. With a blanket over me. 617 00:47:23,658 --> 00:47:25,657 Give it a try. It's very comfy. 618 00:47:25,658 --> 00:47:27,533 Thanks. 619 00:47:31,033 --> 00:47:36,032 So this is where you sit with your laptop and write? 620 00:47:36,033 --> 00:47:38,282 Well, I mostly write by hand. 621 00:47:38,283 --> 00:47:39,908 Really? 622 00:48:07,242 --> 00:48:11,157 It occurred to me that you never see anyone's handwriting anymore. 623 00:48:11,158 --> 00:48:12,907 Well, this is mine. 624 00:48:12,908 --> 00:48:14,908 What do you think? 625 00:48:21,533 --> 00:48:25,117 "I think it looks stern. This is mine." 626 00:48:26,533 --> 00:48:29,242 Thank you. It looks ... 627 00:48:30,658 --> 00:48:32,533 ... old-fashioned? 628 00:48:35,283 --> 00:48:39,658 - Oh well. - But I must apologize. 629 00:48:40,700 --> 00:48:43,908 I was planning to make you dinner. 630 00:48:44,908 --> 00:48:47,532 I am fond of cooking. 631 00:48:47,533 --> 00:48:50,491 But things didn't go as planned today. 632 00:48:50,492 --> 00:48:53,158 Supper was great. 633 00:48:54,533 --> 00:48:55,992 But ... 634 00:48:57,908 --> 00:49:00,782 Urologist ...? 635 00:49:00,783 --> 00:49:03,366 Yes, urologist. 636 00:49:03,367 --> 00:49:05,782 I was thinking ... 637 00:49:05,783 --> 00:49:11,533 The abdomen, this part of the body, it is ... 638 00:49:12,283 --> 00:49:16,492 ... what we think of as the most intimate. 639 00:49:17,533 --> 00:49:21,282 It can be a source of pleasure. 640 00:49:21,283 --> 00:49:27,033 But we also associate it with urination, defecation, things people find repulsive. 641 00:49:28,242 --> 00:49:35,783 Therefore it has become associated with shame whether the area works or not. 642 00:49:37,533 --> 00:49:40,992 - But ... geologist? - Yes. 643 00:49:41,992 --> 00:49:44,658 - Pray tell. - Well ... 644 00:49:45,658 --> 00:49:53,366 Many become geologists to work in the petroleum industry. 645 00:49:53,367 --> 00:49:58,782 That may have been my goal too, before I started. 646 00:49:58,783 --> 00:50:02,032 Before I realized what stone is. 647 00:50:02,033 --> 00:50:05,366 - Before you grew fond of stone. - Yes ... Yes? 648 00:50:05,367 --> 00:50:09,324 At this point, stone may be the most important thing in my life. 649 00:50:09,325 --> 00:50:12,282 And I can ... 650 00:50:12,283 --> 00:50:17,158 I can hear stones sing. 651 00:50:20,658 --> 00:50:23,366 If I ... 652 00:50:23,367 --> 00:50:25,532 ... and I love to do this ... 653 00:50:25,533 --> 00:50:30,991 ... if I lie down on rock or on a knoll by the sea ... 654 00:50:30,992 --> 00:50:37,117 and press my ear against the rock, I can hear it. 655 00:50:39,158 --> 00:50:43,116 There's no magical thinking involved. 656 00:50:43,117 --> 00:50:46,907 It's just a combination 657 00:50:46,908 --> 00:50:50,157 of the physical sensation of stone against skin, 658 00:50:50,158 --> 00:50:53,282 and everything I know about the stone. 659 00:50:53,283 --> 00:51:00,907 I guess it's a merging of knowledge and physical sensation 660 00:51:00,908 --> 00:51:05,283 that gives the feeling of a living pulse. 661 00:51:06,367 --> 00:51:12,907 This is something I can hear, but it applies to you as well. 662 00:51:12,908 --> 00:51:15,407 You can hear it too. 663 00:51:15,408 --> 00:51:18,200 It is ... It applies equally to you. 664 00:51:20,533 --> 00:51:23,657 When I started my master's degree, 665 00:51:23,658 --> 00:51:30,907 I had a friend make me a model of Oslo's topography. 666 00:51:30,908 --> 00:51:39,532 That was the first time I discovered the poetic aspect of... 667 00:51:39,533 --> 00:51:42,282 I'd love to see that model. 668 00:51:42,283 --> 00:51:45,241 - Well, I have it still. - No, really? 669 00:51:45,242 --> 00:51:47,157 Yes? 670 00:51:47,158 --> 00:51:49,117 Yes, yes. 671 00:52:10,033 --> 00:52:11,158 Wow! 672 00:52:13,617 --> 00:52:16,242 - Pretty big! - Yes. 673 00:52:18,117 --> 00:52:20,658 - Nice, right? - Very nice! 674 00:52:22,992 --> 00:52:28,241 I love that the different species have different colours. 675 00:52:28,242 --> 00:52:31,991 You get a sense of their properties. 676 00:52:31,992 --> 00:52:35,992 - What's that? - That's shale. 677 00:52:36,992 --> 00:52:39,158 And that over here? 678 00:52:40,992 --> 00:52:42,992 Limestone. 679 00:53:10,783 --> 00:53:12,782 What's on your mind? 680 00:53:12,783 --> 00:53:15,992 Your skin. I like it a lot. 681 00:53:17,992 --> 00:53:22,782 And I love that you're so passionate about your profession. 682 00:53:22,783 --> 00:53:25,992 Yes? I care about other things too. 683 00:53:27,992 --> 00:53:33,991 What I love most in the whole world, is spending time with my daughters. 684 00:53:33,992 --> 00:53:36,991 They're the most important thing in my life. 685 00:53:36,992 --> 00:53:42,991 Didn't you just say that it was rocks? What's it going to be, rocks or kids? 686 00:53:42,992 --> 00:53:48,992 Both. It's not like you have to pick one. 687 00:53:49,992 --> 00:53:54,992 It's just language tricking us into thinking like that. 688 00:53:59,242 --> 00:54:01,782 What? 689 00:54:01,783 --> 00:54:07,783 I'm just listening to you. I think you might like this book. 690 00:54:09,908 --> 00:54:12,908 Could it be that you'd like to spend the night? 691 00:54:13,908 --> 00:54:15,908 Yes, I'd love that. 692 00:54:16,658 --> 00:54:20,408 But I don't think I will. I think I'm going to leave. 693 00:55:26,742 --> 00:55:30,742 - Would it be okay if I sat down here? - Sure. 694 00:55:36,617 --> 00:55:39,282 - Well ... - Yes? 695 00:55:39,283 --> 00:55:42,907 - Yes ... - What brings you here, to this boat? 696 00:55:42,908 --> 00:55:46,741 I've been visiting someone. Now I'm going home. 697 00:55:46,742 --> 00:55:48,991 - Who did you visit? - A friend. 698 00:55:48,992 --> 00:55:52,032 - Dinner? - Supper. 699 00:55:52,033 --> 00:55:54,282 "Supper on Nesodden"? 700 00:55:54,283 --> 00:55:56,617 Sounds like a folk album. 701 00:55:58,283 --> 00:56:00,866 Candles, harmonica ... 702 00:56:00,867 --> 00:56:05,032 - Conspiracy theories. - Sure. I like folk music. 703 00:56:05,033 --> 00:56:07,033 Sure. So do I. 704 00:56:08,533 --> 00:56:10,741 And you? Have you been working? 705 00:56:10,742 --> 00:56:15,158 I'm renovating a house. I've been laying flooring all day. 706 00:56:18,033 --> 00:56:19,991 Dammit. 707 00:56:19,992 --> 00:56:24,782 - It was supposed to rain today. - Is it a shame that it didn't? 708 00:56:24,783 --> 00:56:28,033 It's nice to go swimming when it rains. 709 00:56:33,492 --> 00:56:37,742 When I'm done for the day, I usually go for a swim. 710 00:56:38,992 --> 00:56:42,158 The people I work for have a swimming area. 711 00:56:44,492 --> 00:56:47,950 - Don't you like to swim? - I love to swim. 712 00:56:50,033 --> 00:56:53,617 What do you do when you're not out swimming? 713 00:56:54,617 --> 00:56:57,157 Not much. 714 00:56:57,158 --> 00:57:00,782 - I do crossword puzzles. - Crossword puzzles? 715 00:57:00,783 --> 00:57:03,991 - You too? - No. I read. 716 00:57:03,992 --> 00:57:06,491 Oh, I see. 717 00:57:06,492 --> 00:57:11,657 You like words that follow each other in a sequence? 718 00:57:11,658 --> 00:57:17,491 - Sure. - I see. I prefer them a bit more jumbled. 719 00:57:17,492 --> 00:57:22,742 - A sort of chaos I have to make sense of. - Right. 720 00:57:25,492 --> 00:57:29,657 You have really nice bangs. 721 00:57:29,658 --> 00:57:32,533 - Thank you. - May I ... 722 00:57:45,158 --> 00:57:51,657 Do you know what we could've done, if we had a car? 723 00:57:51,658 --> 00:57:56,783 We could've driven to Paradise Bay, gone for a swim and then made love. 724 00:57:57,783 --> 00:57:59,491 We could have done that. 725 00:57:59,492 --> 00:58:02,282 We could indeed. 726 00:58:02,283 --> 00:58:06,825 But ... there are other places than Paradise Bay. 727 01:00:05,742 --> 01:00:09,157 Are you laughing? Did you find that funny? 728 01:00:09,158 --> 01:00:13,491 I'm just very glad I met you. I haven't done this before. 729 01:00:13,492 --> 01:00:18,782 - At least not this spontaneously. Have you? -Yes, sure. Or ... yes. 730 01:00:18,783 --> 01:00:24,157 Pretty often, actually. Or well, it depends. 731 01:00:24,158 --> 01:00:30,782 Right now, my wife is away visiting her parents. Her father is sick. 732 01:00:30,783 --> 01:00:34,032 Which gives me more time to myself. 733 01:00:34,033 --> 01:00:38,491 - Right. You're married? - Sure. You are not? 734 01:00:38,492 --> 01:00:42,616 - No. - I kind of assumed we both were. 735 01:00:42,617 --> 01:00:45,782 - Oh. - Okay. 736 01:00:45,783 --> 01:00:50,616 Well, fine. You do look married. 737 01:00:50,617 --> 01:00:53,782 Did that surprise you? You look surprised. 738 01:00:53,783 --> 01:00:58,282 Married and surprised? Yes, maybe a little surprised. 739 01:00:58,283 --> 01:01:01,616 Mostly that you're on Tinder when you're married. 740 01:01:01,617 --> 01:01:04,116 - Aren't you afraid your wife will find out? 741 01:01:04,117 --> 01:01:06,075 - She's not on Tinder, is she? 742 01:01:06,533 --> 01:01:09,742 - I don't know. But her friends, perhaps. - No, no. 743 01:01:15,283 --> 01:01:20,282 You may not believe me, but I truly love my wife. 744 01:01:20,283 --> 01:01:25,032 We've been married for 20 years. We'll be together in Voss this weekend. 745 01:01:25,033 --> 01:01:28,992 - You're from Voss? - Yes. Me and my wife both. 746 01:01:31,158 --> 01:01:37,158 I grew up in a place with half a kilometre between the house and the mailbox. 747 01:01:38,033 --> 01:01:40,782 That does something to you. 748 01:01:40,783 --> 01:01:45,491 You can't imagine the expectations that build up on that walk. 749 01:01:45,492 --> 01:01:49,991 - I'm from Dokka. - Sure. Then you get what I mean. 750 01:01:49,992 --> 01:01:53,616 I guess your mailbox was pretty far away too. 751 01:01:53,617 --> 01:01:57,907 - Not half a kilometre. - No, but you get my drift. 752 01:01:57,908 --> 01:02:01,491 Then you also get that there's no connection 753 01:02:01,492 --> 01:02:04,741 between expectations and the life you get. 754 01:02:04,742 --> 01:02:08,532 But you're not married? No? Okay. 755 01:02:08,533 --> 01:02:11,616 Well, if you say so. You know best. 756 01:02:11,617 --> 01:02:15,991 I did feel that there was something different about you. 757 01:02:15,992 --> 01:02:21,157 I don't know about you, but most unmarried women expect something more. 758 01:02:21,158 --> 01:02:23,992 They may not admit it, but ... 759 01:02:25,492 --> 01:02:30,617 I have this friend, and we strongly disagree on this, but he ... 760 01:02:31,783 --> 01:02:36,491 He thinks of every woman he meets on Tinder as a whore. 761 01:02:36,492 --> 01:02:42,282 I have never been with or visited a whore. 762 01:02:42,283 --> 01:02:45,616 He has, before Tinder. But not me. 763 01:02:45,617 --> 01:02:50,617 He told me that to him, Tinder is a "free brothel". 764 01:02:52,283 --> 01:02:56,032 And in one way, it is. But not only that. 765 01:02:56,033 --> 01:03:00,032 Because I see a lot of women who are whoring themselves up, 766 01:03:00,033 --> 01:03:03,241 but who have high expectations of 767 01:03:03,242 --> 01:03:06,282 something else that is impossible to live up to. 768 01:03:06,283 --> 01:03:09,158 And that just makes me feel guilty. 769 01:03:12,533 --> 01:03:15,282 And that's why I ... No. 770 01:03:15,283 --> 01:03:21,741 I believe that if you're married, your expectations are lower. 771 01:03:21,742 --> 01:03:23,992 And that ... 772 01:03:28,867 --> 01:03:32,158 - Did that come out wrong? - Not at all. 773 01:03:35,658 --> 01:03:38,616 Don't you feel guilty towards your wife? 774 01:03:38,617 --> 01:03:41,741 Of course I do. Extremely. 775 01:03:41,742 --> 01:03:45,658 Of course I feel guilty, but that's completely different! 776 01:03:50,283 --> 01:03:56,991 You probably think I'm the biggest asshole on the planet. 777 01:03:56,992 --> 01:04:00,366 But I have so much sex in me. 778 01:04:00,367 --> 01:04:03,532 And I ... 779 01:04:03,533 --> 01:04:07,783 I'm so fond of people! People are ... 780 01:04:09,033 --> 01:04:14,657 You seem like a nice person, and what we just shared ... 781 01:04:14,658 --> 01:04:19,491 That's something wholly different than ... 782 01:04:19,492 --> 01:04:21,658 Than with someone else. 783 01:04:22,992 --> 01:04:27,367 So I think, why does it have to be so wrong? 784 01:04:29,658 --> 01:04:32,783 Of course my conscience is bad. 785 01:04:37,533 --> 01:04:40,158 I think you ruined this a little. 786 01:04:41,450 --> 01:04:45,992 - How so? Did I say something wrong? - No, I just ... 787 01:04:47,492 --> 01:04:49,992 I think I should head home. 788 01:04:52,533 --> 01:04:55,907 You don't really know me. 789 01:04:55,908 --> 01:04:57,908 But I am ... 790 01:04:59,367 --> 01:05:01,907 I am a good guy. 791 01:05:01,908 --> 01:05:06,157 Yes, I truly believe you are. You are a good guy. 792 01:05:06,158 --> 01:05:09,282 Absolutely. But ... 793 01:05:09,283 --> 01:05:14,782 Can't you stay for a bit? You seem so tense. 794 01:05:14,783 --> 01:05:17,782 No, I ... I'll head home. 795 01:05:17,783 --> 01:05:20,533 - Thank you for tonight. It was nice. - Thank you. 796 01:05:21,658 --> 01:05:23,367 Goodbye. 797 01:05:34,867 --> 01:05:38,783 SUNDAY, 17 AUGUST 798 01:06:17,700 --> 01:06:21,158 MONDAY, 18 AUGUST 799 01:06:35,908 --> 01:06:39,908 Did he really say that Tinder is like a free brothel? 800 01:06:42,658 --> 01:06:45,657 - Yes. - What does that make you? A whore? 801 01:06:45,658 --> 01:06:50,241 Yes, or him. I didn't have different intentions. 802 01:06:50,242 --> 01:06:53,157 I just wanted to have sex with him. 803 01:06:53,158 --> 01:06:56,241 We wanted the same thing, so that's what happened. 804 01:06:56,242 --> 01:06:59,657 Afterwards, he said things no woman would've said. 805 01:06:59,658 --> 01:07:03,658 But I'm not sure that makes him a bad person, morally. 806 01:07:04,658 --> 01:07:06,657 Well, he was married. 807 01:07:06,658 --> 01:07:09,657 Maybe I wouldn't have slept with him if I'd known. 808 01:07:09,658 --> 01:07:12,657 - It really gets to me. - What does? 809 01:07:12,658 --> 01:07:16,157 That you go straight from making out with Ole Harald 810 01:07:16,158 --> 01:07:22,241 to having sex with a random stranger by the docks. 811 01:07:22,242 --> 01:07:24,782 It really was completely unproblematic. 812 01:07:24,783 --> 01:07:29,157 It just made me really happy. It felt so free, in a way. 813 01:07:29,158 --> 01:07:34,532 A casual closeness to a stranger can feel really nice. 814 01:07:34,533 --> 01:07:39,032 You say that like you've never had casual sex before, but you have. 815 01:07:39,033 --> 01:07:42,782 It may have been the situation - meeting on the ferry. 816 01:07:42,783 --> 01:07:45,657 It was much more non-committal than a date. 817 01:07:45,658 --> 01:07:49,782 It's not like arranging to meet via Tinder, or sitting down in a bar, 818 01:07:49,783 --> 01:07:52,157 which feels like more of a transaction. 819 01:07:52,158 --> 01:07:56,658 No, it was simply a free space. We met on equal terms. 820 01:07:59,783 --> 01:08:03,782 - Am I boring you? - No, but you have to wear ... 821 01:08:03,783 --> 01:08:06,783 Put them in, because they're about to ... 822 01:08:35,907 --> 01:08:39,531 - Hi. - Hi. I checked out the halls. 823 01:08:39,532 --> 01:08:43,656 And they're nice enough, but it would be much nicer to do it up here. 824 01:08:43,657 --> 01:08:49,906 With a sound system, people can experience it all over town. 825 01:08:49,907 --> 01:08:53,491 - Has the project been approved? - No. 826 01:08:53,492 --> 01:08:58,156 - It looks like it'll get voted down. - Voted down? Why? When? 827 01:08:58,157 --> 01:09:03,241 This morning. I was going to tell you, but then you gave me that sex story. 828 01:09:03,242 --> 01:09:09,241 We want to do something regardless. A stunt up here, a filmed concert. 829 01:09:09,242 --> 01:09:10,491 It could be really nice. 830 01:09:10,492 --> 01:09:14,031 We'll have to see what we can afford. 831 01:09:14,032 --> 01:09:16,656 It hasn't been settled just yet. 832 01:09:16,657 --> 01:09:20,656 Right now, there is a lot of interest for a project involving 833 01:09:20,657 --> 01:09:26,907 Knausgård curating an exhibition about artists during World War II. Partisan art. 834 01:09:28,532 --> 01:09:32,782 I'll go talk to the carillonist, and come back up later. 835 01:09:35,367 --> 01:09:39,031 I worked so hard on this. It gave me so much energy. 836 01:09:39,032 --> 01:09:43,656 And now I have to work with Knausgård and World War II? 837 01:09:43,657 --> 01:09:48,491 I feel miserable and dry on the inside. I just want to quit. 838 01:09:48,492 --> 01:09:50,906 You can't quit. 839 01:09:50,907 --> 01:09:54,782 I'm put out by the things you're doing, too. 840 01:09:54,783 --> 01:09:57,491 I can't get over it, Marianne. 841 01:09:57,492 --> 01:10:02,283 Straight from making out with the geologist to having sex with the carpenter 842 01:10:03,283 --> 01:10:08,282 - You, the most responsible person I know! - You think it's irresponsible? 843 01:10:08,283 --> 01:10:12,157 - I don't know. - I don't think it was. 844 01:10:12,158 --> 01:10:14,907 I think my morals are really strict. 845 01:10:14,908 --> 01:10:19,782 They're just not about sex, but rather how we treat each other. 846 01:10:19,783 --> 01:10:24,157 This is exactly what you articulated so well during the Town Hall tour! 847 01:10:24,158 --> 01:10:27,491 You talked about freedom, about sexual freedom ... 848 01:10:27,492 --> 01:10:31,782 Yes, and a lot of that comes from you. 849 01:10:31,783 --> 01:10:34,407 It was all about you. Surely you realized? 850 01:10:34,408 --> 01:10:39,907 - You do things that I could never do. - But would you have liked to? 851 01:10:39,908 --> 01:10:42,116 Oh, I don't know. 852 01:10:42,117 --> 01:10:45,491 I guess I feel threatened by it, in some way. 853 01:10:45,492 --> 01:10:48,824 That freedom of yours. That transgressive behaviour. 854 01:10:48,825 --> 01:10:51,157 What does that make me? 855 01:10:51,158 --> 01:10:57,657 Some timid, subdued, boring person, afraid to live life? 856 01:10:57,658 --> 01:11:01,074 - It's not about that, Heidi. - I do know that, deep down. 857 01:11:01,075 --> 01:11:05,491 But when I talk to you, I think like that. You make me think like that. 858 01:11:05,492 --> 01:11:08,116 That doesn't mean my life is boring, 859 01:11:08,117 --> 01:11:11,782 even though I don't sleep with random carpenters. 860 01:11:11,783 --> 01:11:19,491 Sleeping with that carpenter doesn't make me all free-spirited and my life wonderful 861 01:11:19,492 --> 01:11:22,657 I'm not even that interested in sex. 862 01:11:22,658 --> 01:11:27,949 It just happened, as with anything else, and I enjoyed it a lot. 863 01:11:27,950 --> 01:11:31,866 Fine. But things get complicated for me with regards to Ole Harald too. 864 01:11:31,867 --> 01:11:34,657 He's a friend! 865 01:11:34,658 --> 01:11:36,449 I met him on the ferry. 866 01:11:36,450 --> 01:11:40,157 He'd had a wonderful time and looked forward to calling you. 867 01:11:40,158 --> 01:11:43,033 No, really? That's so nice to hear! 868 01:11:44,033 --> 01:11:49,366 Heidi, I like him a lot. I think he's wonderful. 869 01:11:49,367 --> 01:11:54,157 - What are you saying? You'll see him again? -I may, who knows? 870 01:11:54,158 --> 01:11:57,657 But I'm quite sure that we won't become a couple. 871 01:11:57,658 --> 01:12:02,282 That became clear when he said his girls were most important of all. 872 01:12:02,283 --> 01:12:07,241 - Why? Do you want to be most important? - No, of course not. 873 01:12:07,242 --> 01:12:10,657 It just struck me how complicated this is. 874 01:12:10,658 --> 01:12:14,991 His daughters should be the most important thing in his life. 875 01:12:14,992 --> 01:12:19,366 But they may not feel that way if someone else enters their life. 876 01:12:19,367 --> 01:12:25,157 - You can't think like that, Marianne. - No? I'm a child of divorce myself. 877 01:12:25,158 --> 01:12:28,657 Not thinking about the children would be really self-centred! 878 01:12:28,658 --> 01:12:33,241 If I start dating Ole Harald, I must get involved in his life. 879 01:12:33,242 --> 01:12:38,157 Isn't that a good thing, getting involved in someone's life? The kids will love you. 880 01:12:38,158 --> 01:12:40,991 Yes, maybe so, but ... 881 01:12:40,992 --> 01:12:44,116 Getting involved means taking on responsibility. 882 01:12:44,117 --> 01:12:46,991 And that family has problems. 883 01:12:46,992 --> 01:12:51,282 Two insecure kids and a next-door ex-wife who drinks. 884 01:12:51,283 --> 01:12:54,491 You think Solveig has a drinking problem? 885 01:12:54,492 --> 01:12:56,366 - Yes. - I don't think so. 886 01:12:56,367 --> 01:13:00,533 That was typical alcoholic behaviour. Reminded me of Dad. 887 01:13:01,783 --> 01:13:06,366 Well, if you see all this, the insecure children and ... 888 01:13:06,367 --> 01:13:10,532 - Isn't that exactly when ... - ... one should get involved? No. 889 01:13:10,533 --> 01:13:16,157 I'm not right for that responsibility. The responsible move is to stay away. 890 01:13:16,158 --> 01:13:20,282 That's just cynical, Marianne. 891 01:13:20,283 --> 01:13:25,491 - I think getting involved is more cynical. - No. No! 892 01:13:25,492 --> 01:13:30,282 I feel at the bottom of my heart that you're wrong. 893 01:13:30,283 --> 01:13:34,825 If I should get involved, it would be with Solveig. She needs it the most. 894 01:13:35,533 --> 01:13:39,908 FRIDAY, 22 AUGUST 895 01:13:42,492 --> 01:13:44,783 You're checking surgery schedules? 896 01:13:46,242 --> 01:13:49,157 - Can I ask you something? - Yes. 897 01:13:49,158 --> 01:13:53,907 Is it okay to go by the ward and say hello to a patient who just had surgery? 898 01:13:53,908 --> 01:13:56,907 Is it someone you know, or has he been here? 899 01:13:56,908 --> 01:14:00,116 Well, he has, but ... 900 01:14:00,117 --> 01:14:04,366 - I mean someone you've to do with. - No, not here. 901 01:14:04,367 --> 01:14:06,908 And I don't know him, not like ... 902 01:14:07,908 --> 01:14:11,658 I met him for the first time on the ferry. 903 01:14:14,992 --> 01:14:18,366 First on Grindr, then on deck. 904 01:14:18,367 --> 01:14:23,783 Nothing happened, we just talked, then he kissed me on the cheek. 905 01:14:24,658 --> 01:14:28,532 But that was all. And he's aware that I work here. 906 01:14:28,533 --> 01:14:31,532 Okay. I don't know what to say. 907 01:14:31,533 --> 01:14:36,032 - Why visit him? Are you interested? - No! No ... 908 01:14:36,033 --> 01:14:37,991 - No. - No? 909 01:14:37,992 --> 01:14:42,366 I just wanted to check up on him. Out of kindness, really. 910 01:14:42,367 --> 01:14:45,533 But if that could be misinterpreted ... 911 01:14:47,158 --> 01:14:51,907 Do you think it's fine to say yes to a dinner invitation 912 01:14:51,908 --> 01:14:55,241 from a guy I'm pretty sure I don't want to get involved with? 913 01:14:55,242 --> 01:15:01,532 Well, as long as you don't give him the wrong impre... 914 01:15:01,533 --> 01:15:05,657 - You probably do that just by saying yes. - That's the thing. 915 01:15:05,658 --> 01:15:07,907 Well ... 916 01:15:07,908 --> 01:15:12,700 - Visit as a nurse on duty. Not as you. - Okay. 917 01:15:13,992 --> 01:15:16,907 Hi, Carina. I'm just checking up on a patient. 918 01:15:16,908 --> 01:15:18,658 You do that. 919 01:15:23,533 --> 01:15:26,533 Hi. I'm just checking up on your neighbour. 920 01:15:30,783 --> 01:15:35,282 Hi. I just thought I'd check up on ... 921 01:15:35,283 --> 01:15:38,908 I can't find the charger for my phone. 922 01:15:39,908 --> 01:15:43,033 Is it this one? 923 01:15:44,658 --> 01:15:48,783 Oh, there it is. Can you plug it in for me? 924 01:15:50,908 --> 01:15:53,157 - Thank you. - I'll leave it there. 925 01:15:53,158 --> 01:15:59,157 I heard you had surgery yesterday, and that it went well? 926 01:15:59,158 --> 01:16:04,282 Well, the prostate is gone. 927 01:16:04,283 --> 01:16:07,991 - Hope they got everything. - Yes, let's hope that. 928 01:16:07,992 --> 01:16:10,491 How did you know I was here? 929 01:16:10,492 --> 01:16:14,407 Well, I work here. I just checked the surgery schedule. 930 01:16:14,408 --> 01:16:19,367 - You don't know my name. - That wasn't hard to find out. 931 01:16:20,492 --> 01:16:27,282 I know that your name is Bjørn, and I met you in the corridor after your appointment 932 01:16:27,283 --> 01:16:32,241 I've thought so much about you after our last meeting. 933 01:16:32,242 --> 01:16:36,282 - I shouldn't have left you like that. - Oh. Don't think about it. 934 01:16:36,283 --> 01:16:41,908 - I could tell how distressed you were. - I just didn't want any company. 935 01:16:43,408 --> 01:16:46,157 - I get that. - Yes. 936 01:16:46,158 --> 01:16:51,824 In any case, it's great that you got the surgery so soon. 937 01:16:51,825 --> 01:16:56,241 - Yes, that was wonderful. - How do you feel now? 938 01:16:56,242 --> 01:17:02,282 Not bad, except that I feel really bloated. 939 01:17:02,283 --> 01:17:04,532 That's the worst part. 940 01:17:04,533 --> 01:17:09,532 That happens when they inflate your abdomen for the keyhole surgery. 941 01:17:09,533 --> 01:17:12,782 You have to walk it off. Fart it out. 942 01:17:12,783 --> 01:17:16,532 - Yeah, so they tell me. - Do you want to take a walk now? 943 01:17:16,533 --> 01:17:19,282 - Now? - Sure, I can walk with you. 944 01:17:19,283 --> 01:17:20,991 - Listen, it's no ... - Come on. 945 01:17:20,992 --> 01:17:27,032 - I don't think I can stand up. - I can help you. Is this yours? 946 01:17:27,033 --> 01:17:29,283 Yes, but ... 947 01:17:30,908 --> 01:17:34,283 - Let's do that. - Careful with that one. 948 01:17:38,283 --> 01:17:39,782 Thank you. 949 01:17:39,783 --> 01:17:42,532 - And the other one. - Yes. There. 950 01:17:42,533 --> 01:17:45,366 - There we go. - Please hold this. 951 01:17:45,367 --> 01:17:47,783 Sure. The wheels are locked. 952 01:17:49,908 --> 01:17:52,658 - There. Ready? - Yes. 953 01:17:54,658 --> 01:17:56,367 Okay. 954 01:18:16,658 --> 01:18:20,033 - A little further. - I think I want to go back. Yes. 955 01:18:21,450 --> 01:18:23,783 - Okay? - Okay. 956 01:18:26,867 --> 01:18:30,532 There. That went well. 957 01:18:30,533 --> 01:18:33,367 I don't know about that. 958 01:18:38,283 --> 01:18:43,532 - When are they discharging you? - The day after tomorrow, I think. 959 01:18:43,533 --> 01:18:45,532 - Can't be right. - It probably is. 960 01:18:45,533 --> 01:18:48,157 - This'll go faster than you think. - You think so? 961 01:18:48,158 --> 01:18:50,991 Yes. 962 01:18:50,992 --> 01:18:53,742 I was thinking ... 963 01:18:54,533 --> 01:18:58,866 You do have someone to help you? With shopping and such. 964 01:18:58,867 --> 01:19:01,616 You must avoid heavy lifting for a few weeks. 965 01:19:01,617 --> 01:19:06,157 - I have friends. - Of course you do. 966 01:19:06,158 --> 01:19:08,532 - A friend said she'd help me. I'll be fine. 967 01:19:08,533 --> 01:19:09,408 - Okay, good. 968 01:19:10,033 --> 01:19:13,742 What's your number? 969 01:19:15,158 --> 01:19:18,783 90-25-22-13. 970 01:19:19,992 --> 01:19:22,991 You don't have to ... 971 01:19:22,992 --> 01:19:26,491 - Now you have my number too. - Okay. 972 01:19:26,492 --> 01:19:32,032 In case you need help with grocery shopping, or anything. 973 01:19:32,033 --> 01:19:34,741 Just call me. I mean it. 974 01:19:34,742 --> 01:19:37,866 We both live on Nesodden, after all. 975 01:19:37,867 --> 01:19:42,032 If you'd been living in Sarpsborg, I wouldn't have bothered. 976 01:19:42,033 --> 01:19:46,617 - Remember to walk, so you pass the gas. - I'll do my best. 977 01:19:47,908 --> 01:19:50,532 - Thank you so much. - You're welcome. 978 01:19:50,533 --> 01:19:54,032 It was so nice of you to check in on me. 979 01:19:54,033 --> 01:19:56,658 To offer me help and everything. 980 01:19:58,033 --> 01:20:00,532 Goodbye, Bjørn. 981 01:20:00,533 --> 01:20:03,533 - You're headed home to Nesodden? - Yes. 982 01:20:05,742 --> 01:20:09,282 That's the plan. Maybe I'll have a coffee on the way. 983 01:20:09,283 --> 01:20:12,157 Or maybe a half-pint before the ferry. 984 01:20:12,158 --> 01:20:14,700 You have no idea how lucky you are. 985 01:20:15,533 --> 01:20:19,658 How fabulous that sounds when you can't have it. 986 01:20:22,533 --> 01:20:25,742 Just sit down somewhere and have a coffee. 987 01:20:26,617 --> 01:20:29,033 Watch the people. 988 01:21:41,158 --> 01:21:43,907 BJØRN: Who are you, really? 989 01:21:43,908 --> 01:21:45,908 TOR: Tor :) 990 01:21:50,742 --> 01:21:54,158 BJØRN: That won't cut it for a shrink. 991 01:22:00,492 --> 01:22:04,033 BJØRN: I might take you up on your help offer. 992 01:22:08,783 --> 01:22:11,033 TOR: Good :) 993 01:22:40,158 --> 01:22:42,992 MONDAY, 25 AUGUST 994 01:22:47,783 --> 01:22:51,283 - Have you seen Elvestad? - The patient is there already. 995 01:22:55,033 --> 01:22:57,282 Excuse me. 996 01:22:57,283 --> 01:23:01,782 I had a clear agreement with Egil. I find this odd. 997 01:23:01,783 --> 01:23:05,782 We had dinner this weekend, and he said ... He promised ... 998 01:23:05,783 --> 01:23:09,282 - Well, you've been appointed to me. - Appointed to...? 999 01:23:09,283 --> 01:23:12,032 If you'd like, I can check ... 1000 01:23:12,033 --> 01:23:15,491 - Have you seen Søyland? - Isn't he in the operating room? 1001 01:23:15,492 --> 01:23:19,574 I thought so, but this patient had an appointment with him. 1002 01:23:19,575 --> 01:23:24,032 There must've been an error. This is very unfortunate. 1003 01:23:24,033 --> 01:23:27,866 - Can't you page him? - Not while he's in surgery. 1004 01:23:27,867 --> 01:23:34,616 - But I have your test results here. - No, no. You want them from Egil. 1005 01:23:34,617 --> 01:23:37,657 Perhaps you could page him? 1006 01:23:37,658 --> 01:23:42,783 - I can check if he is indeed in surgery. - Good. 1007 01:23:43,575 --> 01:23:46,991 We were having the surgery done in Hamburg. 1008 01:23:46,992 --> 01:23:51,157 - Since that clinic is the very best. - As I'm sure you know. 1009 01:23:51,158 --> 01:23:54,782 - Except for Copenhagen. - They are also very good. 1010 01:23:54,783 --> 01:24:00,032 But while talking to Hamburg, I mentioned that we know Egil. 1011 01:24:00,033 --> 01:24:06,991 They said: "Why come to Hamburg, when one of Europe's best is in Norway?" 1012 01:24:06,992 --> 01:24:14,866 The funny thing is that Egil's uncle, Håkon Søyland, treated my father. 1013 01:24:14,867 --> 01:24:18,282 Not for the same condition. He was a heart surgeon. 1014 01:24:18,283 --> 01:24:23,491 And his cabin was next to my parents, up by Mysuseter. 1015 01:24:23,492 --> 01:24:26,532 - I see. What a coincidence. - Right? 1016 01:24:26,533 --> 01:24:29,533 Egil is an outstanding surgeon, of course. 1017 01:24:30,783 --> 01:24:36,282 He finished just now. He'll be down in ... They were slightly delayed. 1018 01:24:36,283 --> 01:24:38,657 He'll be down in ten minutes. 1019 01:24:38,658 --> 01:24:40,367 Thank you. 1020 01:24:41,867 --> 01:24:45,782 - Sverre's father lived to be 105. - He's gone now. 1021 01:24:45,783 --> 01:24:51,866 He passed away this spring, but he was spry and sharp until the very end. 1022 01:24:51,867 --> 01:24:54,491 - Yes, he was. - Few are that fortunate. 1023 01:24:54,492 --> 01:24:59,491 - True, and his brother is still alive. - Not my brother. My uncle. 1024 01:24:59,492 --> 01:25:03,657 Yes, his uncle. Well, he's gay, but ... 1025 01:25:03,658 --> 01:25:08,032 It's a shame, since he has no heir, but ... 1026 01:25:08,033 --> 01:25:12,491 He's spry, absolutely. We grow very old in our family. 1027 01:25:12,492 --> 01:25:14,992 - Yes ... - Yes, we do. 1028 01:25:15,867 --> 01:25:21,032 105?! Some people are so unlikeable that you want to shower after talking to them. 1029 01:25:21,033 --> 01:25:24,282 Were you offended? 1030 01:25:24,283 --> 01:25:29,157 She's afraid of losing her partner, like everyone else. Afraid of death. 1031 01:25:29,158 --> 01:25:33,407 - You were not offended? - Because he didn't want me to examine him? 1032 01:25:33,408 --> 01:25:37,282 Egil speaks their language. I understand them well. 1033 01:25:37,283 --> 01:25:43,283 Another thing ... Did you visit that Grindr friend of yours? 1034 01:25:44,367 --> 01:25:46,492 Yes, I did drop by. 1035 01:25:48,783 --> 01:25:51,741 I offered to help out with grocery shopping. 1036 01:25:51,742 --> 01:25:55,074 That's borderline, you do get that? 1037 01:25:55,075 --> 01:25:58,991 You can't offer home nursing to people you meet on Grindr. 1038 01:25:58,992 --> 01:26:02,324 It's none of my business, but it goes for me as well. 1039 01:26:02,325 --> 01:26:07,657 I can't give someone special service because our parents are cabin neighbours. 1040 01:26:07,658 --> 01:26:11,616 - No ... - No. And another thing. 1041 01:26:11,617 --> 01:26:16,616 If this was some girl you'd met on Tinder, I'd say no in a heartbeat. 1042 01:26:16,617 --> 01:26:19,157 But now I don't, which is confusing to me. 1043 01:26:19,158 --> 01:26:23,782 Is it because both of you are men that I become all ... 1044 01:26:23,783 --> 01:26:27,782 In any case, this is a vulnerable patient, so I think ... 1045 01:26:27,783 --> 01:26:29,158 No, it ... 1046 01:26:30,742 --> 01:26:34,282 I'm not doing this to hit on him. 1047 01:26:34,283 --> 01:26:37,574 - I'm not interested. - It's none of my business. 1048 01:26:37,575 --> 01:26:40,742 And I don't think I'm sending mixed signals. 1049 01:26:41,533 --> 01:26:46,742 I'm just thinking that helping someone buy groceries has to be okay, right? 1050 01:26:49,408 --> 01:26:52,782 No, you're probably right. 1051 01:26:52,783 --> 01:26:56,741 - Of course you're right. But listen ... - What? 1052 01:26:56,742 --> 01:27:02,741 Something I've been thinking about, which I must say. On a different note. Okay? 1053 01:27:02,742 --> 01:27:08,032 This has nothing to do with Grindr, but it's something I often think about. 1054 01:27:08,033 --> 01:27:11,657 We do get a lot of gay patients. 1055 01:27:11,658 --> 01:27:14,866 I'm sure I spot them more than you do. 1056 01:27:14,867 --> 01:27:18,992 I can tell at once, and what I see is that ... 1057 01:27:22,533 --> 01:27:28,157 Because I know the consequences of that diagnosis for those men. 1058 01:27:28,158 --> 01:27:31,032 And that is something you never tell them. 1059 01:27:31,033 --> 01:27:34,491 You mention erectile dysfunction and sterility, 1060 01:27:34,492 --> 01:27:39,782 but you hardly mention how removing the prostate affects the sex. 1061 01:27:39,783 --> 01:27:43,033 You don't just lose your erection, you also lose the ... 1062 01:27:45,742 --> 01:27:52,782 When you have anal sex, if someone takes me from behind, to put it bluntly, 1063 01:27:52,783 --> 01:27:57,866 they press their cock against my prostate. Which feels really nice. 1064 01:27:57,867 --> 01:28:01,992 It is a very large part of the pleasure which ... 1065 01:28:02,742 --> 01:28:05,907 Which is lost when you remove the prostate. 1066 01:28:05,908 --> 01:28:08,033 And that's just ... 1067 01:28:09,992 --> 01:28:15,199 I guess I feel more compassion for gay men than for others. 1068 01:28:15,200 --> 01:28:19,032 I know what it actually means, in practice. 1069 01:28:19,033 --> 01:28:22,742 It is a double loss, in a way. 1070 01:28:23,742 --> 01:28:28,282 This has never crossed my mind. I'm sorry. 1071 01:28:28,283 --> 01:28:30,782 That's fine. 1072 01:28:30,783 --> 01:28:35,157 - And it's totally unrelated, it's just ... - No, no. 1073 01:28:35,158 --> 01:28:39,116 I've thought about it so much that I just had to say it. 1074 01:28:39,117 --> 01:28:41,742 I'm very glad you did. Thank you. 1075 01:28:43,283 --> 01:28:46,283 Now it's been said. 1076 01:29:58,200 --> 01:30:02,741 TUESDAY, 26 AUGUST 1077 01:30:02,742 --> 01:30:08,533 My friend was supposed to help me, but she had to take her dog to the vet. 1078 01:30:09,700 --> 01:30:15,032 - The one helping you with groceries? - She'll do it tomorrow instead. 1079 01:30:15,033 --> 01:30:18,657 - But then you won't have anything tonight. - That's fine. 1080 01:30:18,658 --> 01:30:22,907 Then I'll take you home, and afterwards I'll go shop for you. 1081 01:30:22,908 --> 01:30:27,617 - No, no. You really don't have to. - It's fine. Truly. 1082 01:30:28,742 --> 01:30:32,907 - Is your catheter all good? - It's very uncomfortable, but ... 1083 01:30:32,908 --> 01:30:35,991 - Is it fastened well? - It's there. 1084 01:30:35,992 --> 01:30:37,158 Hey ... 1085 01:30:40,158 --> 01:30:42,991 It's far from full. 1086 01:30:42,992 --> 01:30:45,533 They did show you how to drain it? 1087 01:30:49,617 --> 01:30:53,200 - And you got some diapers too? - Yes. 1088 01:30:54,200 --> 01:30:59,157 - Did you get a prescription? - All kinds of prescriptions. For Viagra! 1089 01:30:59,158 --> 01:31:02,783 - That's to help regain your erections. - I am aware. 1090 01:31:05,283 --> 01:31:10,282 - Did it bother you to hear about it? - Yes, I would say that. 1091 01:31:10,283 --> 01:31:12,616 They mean well, though. 1092 01:31:12,617 --> 01:31:16,200 It's good that they've talked about it. It's important. 1093 01:31:17,200 --> 01:31:20,492 You just have to do it at your own pace. 1094 01:31:31,617 --> 01:31:33,617 I think we should go. 1095 01:31:46,617 --> 01:31:50,616 We focus on making the patients well again. 1096 01:31:50,617 --> 01:31:53,282 We don't really have the capacity 1097 01:31:53,283 --> 01:31:57,907 for dealing with the sorrow some may feel after surgery. 1098 01:31:57,908 --> 01:32:03,616 The fact that someone has invaded your body and removed or adjusted something, 1099 01:32:03,617 --> 01:32:08,032 can feel like ... Well, maybe not a violation, 1100 01:32:08,033 --> 01:32:11,157 but more of a forced entry, perhaps. 1101 01:32:11,158 --> 01:32:15,157 You wake up, and your body feels completely different. 1102 01:32:15,158 --> 01:32:18,616 Some feel a sense of loss. 1103 01:32:18,617 --> 01:32:20,074 We can't change that, 1104 01:32:20,075 --> 01:32:23,616 but we'd be wise to acknowledge that some may feel sorrow. 1105 01:32:23,617 --> 01:32:28,282 And that sorrow may need time to heal, and perhaps turn into something else. 1106 01:32:28,283 --> 01:32:32,282 - Something else? - Yes. 1107 01:32:32,283 --> 01:32:38,282 I'm not sure, but what I've learned, is that the body is a battlefield. 1108 01:32:38,283 --> 01:32:41,574 We gain from taking that to heart, 1109 01:32:41,575 --> 01:32:45,782 taking things in stride and not fight them. 1110 01:32:45,783 --> 01:32:50,283 That doesn't just go for disease. It goes for sexuality too. 1111 01:32:52,492 --> 01:32:56,157 My first wife had cancer. 1112 01:32:56,158 --> 01:32:58,492 It was before we met. 1113 01:33:00,033 --> 01:33:03,032 How many times have you been married? 1114 01:33:03,033 --> 01:33:04,617 - Two. - Oh. 1115 01:33:05,617 --> 01:33:10,658 Have you never thought about getting married and having kids? 1116 01:33:12,283 --> 01:33:14,282 No. 1117 01:33:14,283 --> 01:33:17,032 I think I could marry again. 1118 01:33:17,033 --> 01:33:21,283 What makes you think that it would work the third time? 1119 01:33:22,617 --> 01:33:27,742 - You think that when you're in love. - But you've seen how that can change. 1120 01:33:28,492 --> 01:33:32,157 I just don't get why people feel that need to get married. 1121 01:33:32,158 --> 01:33:37,032 If there is love, and you want to be together, isn't that enough? 1122 01:33:37,033 --> 01:33:42,616 - There's something about making that vow. - Which you have broken twice, 1123 01:33:42,617 --> 01:33:45,991 and yet you're willing to promise it a third time? 1124 01:33:45,992 --> 01:33:49,741 So marriage starts with a great big lie. 1125 01:33:49,742 --> 01:33:54,157 And everybody knows that a lie is a shaky foundation to build anything on. 1126 01:33:54,158 --> 01:33:59,741 As I see it, that makes marriage a kind of production unit 1127 01:33:59,742 --> 01:34:02,992 where the primary purpose is having children. 1128 01:34:03,992 --> 01:34:06,992 - That's how you see it? - Yes. 1129 01:34:07,867 --> 01:34:11,449 That's basically what it is. 1130 01:34:11,450 --> 01:34:17,616 It starts as a joint project, but ultimately it falls on the children 1131 01:34:17,617 --> 01:34:21,866 to take over the project when the parents no longer can 1132 01:34:21,867 --> 01:34:23,992 or will invest any more in it. 1133 01:34:24,867 --> 01:34:27,032 They can break up and start fresh, 1134 01:34:27,033 --> 01:34:31,158 but the kids are stuck with that marriage for the rest of their lives. 1135 01:34:34,158 --> 01:34:38,158 - I'm sorry. - You just tell it like it is. 1136 01:34:40,783 --> 01:34:46,533 I just get full of bad conscience. But that's okay. 1137 01:34:47,867 --> 01:34:50,742 That's how I always feel. 1138 01:34:51,617 --> 01:34:53,783 Do you? 1139 01:34:54,908 --> 01:34:56,992 Yes, always. 1140 01:34:59,742 --> 01:35:03,742 I should never ask you to marry me, then? 1141 01:35:06,033 --> 01:35:08,949 That's fine. I will never do that. 1142 01:35:08,950 --> 01:35:10,575 Thank you. 1143 01:35:12,033 --> 01:35:15,158 I promise. But ... 1144 01:35:19,783 --> 01:35:22,617 Is it all right if I say ... 1145 01:35:24,283 --> 01:35:27,283 that I'm in love? 1146 01:35:29,742 --> 01:35:33,283 That's all right. You can say that. 1147 01:35:50,283 --> 01:35:53,741 Are you always like this? So kind? 1148 01:35:53,742 --> 01:35:55,657 Always. 1149 01:35:55,658 --> 01:35:58,617 Life is too short, you know. 1150 01:36:01,283 --> 01:36:04,866 Bjørn, your bag ... I think it needs draining. 1151 01:36:04,867 --> 01:36:08,158 Oops. You're right. 1152 01:36:12,033 --> 01:36:14,617 - Need a hand? - No, no. 1153 01:36:24,033 --> 01:36:26,742 No! Oh no ... 1154 01:36:35,033 --> 01:36:38,866 I'll be fine. Please don't come in. 1155 01:36:38,867 --> 01:36:41,992 - Hey, I can ... - I'll be fine. 1156 01:36:42,908 --> 01:36:46,032 - Do you have a bucket? - Out in the kitchen. 1157 01:36:46,033 --> 01:36:49,992 - Underneath the worktop. - Okay. 1158 01:38:09,742 --> 01:38:15,742 - Who are the people in the photos? - Dag Hammarskjöld took that one. 1159 01:38:16,492 --> 01:38:20,158 - It's good. - Yes. I think it's touching. 1160 01:38:21,742 --> 01:38:24,867 The other one is of Palme. 1161 01:38:27,492 --> 01:38:30,617 Subtle homoeroticism. 1162 01:38:32,992 --> 01:38:35,616 - You didn't get much sleep in the hospital. 1163 01:38:35,617 --> 01:38:36,617 - No. 1164 01:38:36,950 --> 01:38:42,157 I haven't slept much since the surgery. I've been lying awake, thinking. 1165 01:38:42,158 --> 01:38:43,866 About what? 1166 01:38:43,867 --> 01:38:48,616 About everything, really. How pointless it has been. 1167 01:38:48,617 --> 01:38:52,741 Pointless? Do you really think so? 1168 01:38:52,742 --> 01:38:59,032 It feels awful to say it, but it's really starting to dawn on me. 1169 01:38:59,033 --> 01:39:05,157 The morning of my surgery, I was listening to the news on the radio. 1170 01:39:05,158 --> 01:39:11,282 They said an HIV vaccine would soon be available. 1171 01:39:11,283 --> 01:39:12,782 Yes? 1172 01:39:12,783 --> 01:39:17,032 The pandemic gave them an opportunity to test the mRNA technology. 1173 01:39:17,033 --> 01:39:20,032 Yes, I heard. Isn't that great? 1174 01:39:20,033 --> 01:39:23,992 Sure, but that very day ... 1175 01:39:25,867 --> 01:39:29,617 "The irony of fate", isn't that what it's called? 1176 01:39:30,617 --> 01:39:36,616 Just after I came out of the closet in the summer of 1986 ... 1177 01:39:36,617 --> 01:39:38,616 Before I was born. 1178 01:39:38,617 --> 01:39:41,783 - Really? - Yes. 1179 01:39:43,492 --> 01:39:50,492 Soon after I saw this TV documentary on AIDS. 1180 01:39:51,658 --> 01:39:57,283 It was like a horror movie! They said what they usually said back then. 1181 01:39:58,283 --> 01:40:05,741 That AIDS was a terrible and deadly disease that mostly affected gay men. 1182 01:40:05,742 --> 01:40:13,782 And I felt that I was being punished, sort of, for daring to come out. 1183 01:40:13,783 --> 01:40:16,283 That it served me right. 1184 01:40:17,533 --> 01:40:23,282 That changed everything for me. It scared me deeply. 1185 01:40:23,283 --> 01:40:31,157 If I'd had sex and got a little cum on my skin, that was enough to terrify me. 1186 01:40:31,158 --> 01:40:36,032 Not to mention if I'd slept with someone who didn't want to use a condom. 1187 01:40:36,033 --> 01:40:41,032 I found it hard to insist, and I didn't like using one myself. 1188 01:40:41,033 --> 01:40:47,282 I was shattered afterwards. Rushed to get tested all the time. 1189 01:40:47,283 --> 01:40:52,491 Sat in the clinic's waiting room feeling filthy and ashamed. 1190 01:40:52,492 --> 01:40:55,657 And the three months it took to get the final result, 1191 01:40:55,658 --> 01:40:59,991 I was paralyzed with anxiety. 1192 01:40:59,992 --> 01:41:03,282 I alternated between a fear of death 1193 01:41:03,283 --> 01:41:09,991 and thoughts of how to break it to those close to me. 1194 01:41:09,992 --> 01:41:13,741 I lay awake at night thinking about my parents and brothers, 1195 01:41:13,742 --> 01:41:20,158 how they'd have to tell others that I was HIV positive. 1196 01:41:20,908 --> 01:41:24,616 Eventually, the frustration and stress got so bad 1197 01:41:24,617 --> 01:41:27,282 that it seemed better to stop having sex. 1198 01:41:27,283 --> 01:41:30,157 Completely. Just skip it altogether. 1199 01:41:30,158 --> 01:41:32,741 Be spared of the anxiety. 1200 01:41:32,742 --> 01:41:36,866 But then we got medication. It's long since it was a death sentence. 1201 01:41:36,867 --> 01:41:38,741 But you're still scared, right, 1202 01:41:38,742 --> 01:41:43,282 of getting a disease that you'll have to take medication for the rest of your life? 1203 01:41:43,283 --> 01:41:48,282 And you don't know how it will affect your body. Side effects and ... 1204 01:41:48,283 --> 01:41:52,491 What about PrEP? Why didn't you test that? 1205 01:41:52,492 --> 01:41:56,782 Of course I should have. I realize that now. 1206 01:41:56,783 --> 01:42:01,241 But when it came, it felt like the train had left the station. 1207 01:42:01,242 --> 01:42:06,491 Sort of. I don't know, I'm just so ... off. 1208 01:42:06,492 --> 01:42:09,157 But you are on Grindr. 1209 01:42:09,158 --> 01:42:12,908 - It's just to browse. I never do anything. - Okay? 1210 01:42:14,033 --> 01:42:19,867 I don't think I have anything left that could turn people on. 1211 01:42:20,992 --> 01:42:26,533 When I was told that I had to operate, and Søyland said 1212 01:42:27,742 --> 01:42:31,782 there was a good chance I wouldn't regain my erection. 1213 01:42:31,783 --> 01:42:35,866 That seemed to me like the smallest problem. 1214 01:42:35,867 --> 01:42:42,283 But on my way there that day, to my surgery and likely impotence ... 1215 01:42:43,158 --> 01:42:47,616 Or at least sterility, never another ejaculation ... 1216 01:42:47,617 --> 01:42:51,991 That day, of all days, they tell me 1217 01:42:51,992 --> 01:42:56,158 that a vaccine for HIV is most likely coming. 1218 01:42:57,158 --> 01:43:00,032 It's as if I've come full circle. 1219 01:43:00,033 --> 01:43:04,157 I thought about what you said the day we met. 1220 01:43:04,158 --> 01:43:08,032 That people should pull themselves together. 1221 01:43:08,033 --> 01:43:14,033 I don't mean that you should, but perhaps try to avoid wallowing in self-pity. 1222 01:43:18,492 --> 01:43:21,282 You're not done at all. 1223 01:43:21,283 --> 01:43:23,658 Come to bed, now. 1224 01:43:37,783 --> 01:43:39,908 - Are you managing? - Yes. 1225 01:43:43,783 --> 01:43:45,658 Thank you. 1226 01:43:49,158 --> 01:43:53,491 - What are you doing? - I'm going to lie down with you. 1227 01:43:53,492 --> 01:43:57,032 - Why? - Because I feel like it. 1228 01:43:57,033 --> 01:44:00,908 I'm not going to do anything, I just want to lie next to you. 1229 01:44:01,658 --> 01:44:03,824 - You mustn't do it out of pity. 1230 01:44:03,825 --> 01:44:06,533 - No. I do it because I want to be with you. 1231 01:44:07,658 --> 01:44:10,533 Think of it as something good. 1232 01:44:11,783 --> 01:44:13,908 As a painkiller. For both of us. 1233 01:44:16,367 --> 01:44:18,658 I'm being serious. 1234 01:44:42,033 --> 01:44:44,533 Just try to relax. 1235 01:44:53,825 --> 01:44:57,533 WEDNESDAY, 27 AUGUST 1236 01:45:25,033 --> 01:45:27,532 I'm off to work. 1237 01:45:27,533 --> 01:45:31,158 - How do you feel today? - Not bad. 1238 01:45:35,533 --> 01:45:39,908 It looks good. But the bag must be drained soon. 1239 01:45:42,908 --> 01:45:44,992 What is it? 1240 01:45:46,492 --> 01:45:50,242 - Maybe this will become weird now. - What will? 1241 01:45:51,492 --> 01:45:58,367 You mustn't feel that you have to come back just because you slept here with me. 1242 01:45:59,658 --> 01:46:02,907 Bjørn ... Bjørn, Bjørn, Bjørn. 1243 01:46:02,908 --> 01:46:05,825 You need to have more faith in people. 1244 01:46:19,992 --> 01:46:21,158 Bye. 1245 01:46:28,783 --> 01:46:30,782 Hi, Ida. 1246 01:46:30,783 --> 01:46:32,033 Hi. 1247 01:46:32,908 --> 01:46:38,241 - Have you been sitting here long? - I went inside, but you were still in bed. 1248 01:46:38,242 --> 01:46:42,991 - You're staying with Mum this week. - I don't want to be at Mum's. 1249 01:46:42,992 --> 01:46:44,992 No, I get that, but ... 1250 01:46:46,033 --> 01:46:48,657 Go inside, and we'll have breakfast together. 1251 01:46:48,658 --> 01:46:51,783 I'll just say goodbye to Marianne first. 1252 01:46:58,533 --> 01:47:04,491 - I'm sorry about that. - No need to apologize. I should apologize. 1253 01:47:04,492 --> 01:47:09,032 Ida sits on the porch from dawn, too scared to go into her own home 1254 01:47:09,033 --> 01:47:14,366 because I'm lying in the bed she usually crawls into for comfort! That's not okay! 1255 01:47:14,367 --> 01:47:19,908 We'll solve this somehow. I'll talk to Solveig. 1256 01:47:26,908 --> 01:47:30,907 Do you know what I think would've been best? 1257 01:47:30,908 --> 01:47:37,532 If you and I had just ... met on the Nesodden ferry one evening. 1258 01:47:37,533 --> 01:47:41,908 Just randomly. Do you think that's possible? 1259 01:48:00,033 --> 01:48:03,657 - Oh, hi! - Hi! 1260 01:48:03,658 --> 01:48:06,032 - You're sitting here? - Yes? 1261 01:48:06,033 --> 01:48:09,657 - Oh, this is where you live? - Are you coming from Ole? 1262 01:48:09,658 --> 01:48:13,532 - Yes. - I told Ida not to run up there. 1263 01:48:13,533 --> 01:48:19,282 - I'm so sorry if she disturbed you. - Not at all. No need to apologize. 1264 01:48:19,283 --> 01:48:22,449 No ... You're up early? 1265 01:48:22,450 --> 01:48:25,366 - I'm on my way to work. - Right. 1266 01:48:25,367 --> 01:48:28,532 - So you had to leave anyway? - Yes. 1267 01:48:28,533 --> 01:48:32,032 - You're up early too? - I've been up since 3 a.m. 1268 01:48:32,033 --> 01:48:34,032 - Wow! - Yes ... 1269 01:48:34,033 --> 01:48:39,033 Would you like a cup of coffee? Keep me company for a little while? 1270 01:48:40,367 --> 01:48:44,157 - Just a little while? - Yes ... Yes. 1271 01:48:44,158 --> 01:48:46,908 How nice. Just come! 1272 01:48:49,533 --> 01:48:52,032 A pillow too? Thank you. 1273 01:48:52,033 --> 01:48:54,033 Here you go. 1274 01:48:57,783 --> 01:49:02,032 - Since three? You have trouble sleeping? - A lot. 1275 01:49:02,033 --> 01:49:07,032 It's been like this for years. I have been examined. 1276 01:49:07,033 --> 01:49:10,033 You know, they say that ... 1277 01:49:11,533 --> 01:49:16,532 ... poor sleep shortens your life. It's exhausting to think about. 1278 01:49:16,533 --> 01:49:20,657 - I get that. - You lay awake thinking, 1279 01:49:20,658 --> 01:49:24,032 "now my life is getting shorter." 1280 01:49:24,033 --> 01:49:28,907 I don't get why they tell you that. It's not exactly helpful. 1281 01:49:28,908 --> 01:49:30,782 No. 1282 01:49:30,783 --> 01:49:33,658 And I think many people feel the same way. 1283 01:49:35,117 --> 01:49:37,117 Are you a socialist? 1284 01:49:40,950 --> 01:49:43,533 Yes. Yes, I guess I am. 1285 01:49:45,492 --> 01:49:50,782 You're a music teacher, right? How do you manage when you can't sleep? 1286 01:49:50,783 --> 01:49:54,241 I'm a trained music therapist. 1287 01:49:54,242 --> 01:49:57,367 But right now, I'm unemployed. 1288 01:49:58,367 --> 01:50:04,116 It is difficult to get a job out here. I have considered moving back to Oslo. 1289 01:50:04,117 --> 01:50:08,158 I saw a job opening in Bergen. 1290 01:50:09,242 --> 01:50:13,992 But Ole and I agreed to live close to each other because of the children. 1291 01:50:15,158 --> 01:50:20,199 But I don't know if it is such a good thing. You know? 1292 01:50:20,200 --> 01:50:24,157 Sometimes I think that having to live down here in this dip ... 1293 01:50:24,158 --> 01:50:27,491 I rent the first floor here, you see. 1294 01:50:27,492 --> 01:50:32,657 So I sit here in this dip so that the kids can run between me and Ole. 1295 01:50:32,658 --> 01:50:36,617 Sometimes I think it's a punishment, really. 1296 01:50:38,492 --> 01:50:41,075 You don't have a husband and children and ... so on? 1297 01:50:43,283 --> 01:50:45,367 - No. - No ... 1298 01:50:46,783 --> 01:50:48,783 You seem so calm. 1299 01:50:50,783 --> 01:50:57,783 The first time I met you, I thought you seemed so settled. 1300 01:50:59,658 --> 01:51:01,533 No ... 1301 01:51:03,533 --> 01:51:07,032 No, I really don't feel that way. 1302 01:51:07,033 --> 01:51:10,491 - Now I'm starting to cry. - I'm so sorry! 1303 01:51:10,492 --> 01:51:12,783 It's fine, I just ... 1304 01:51:13,783 --> 01:51:17,533 I feel like I'm constantly hitting a wall. 1305 01:51:18,908 --> 01:51:22,532 Always trying to find my way. 1306 01:51:22,533 --> 01:51:25,782 - Sorry if I said something wrong. - You didn't. 1307 01:51:25,783 --> 01:51:30,616 I honestly think it's fine if I feel this way. 1308 01:51:30,617 --> 01:51:32,783 This is how it should be. 1309 01:51:39,658 --> 01:51:41,991 I'm so sorry ... 1310 01:51:41,992 --> 01:51:45,491 No, no reason to apologize. 1311 01:51:45,492 --> 01:51:50,491 Do you sometimes feel like you're stuck, in a way? 1312 01:51:50,492 --> 01:51:55,282 In a situation, or your personality, or in an expectation? 1313 01:51:55,283 --> 01:51:57,783 Completely stuck, thinking: 1314 01:51:59,158 --> 01:52:04,491 - "How did it end up like this?" - Oh, absolutely. Quite often, really. 1315 01:52:04,492 --> 01:52:06,907 But ... 1316 01:52:06,908 --> 01:52:09,491 - But, listen. - Yes? 1317 01:52:09,492 --> 01:52:16,367 Even if things seem impossible, and the discouragements pile up ... 1318 01:52:17,783 --> 01:52:23,907 You must never stop believing that there is a way out. 1319 01:52:23,908 --> 01:52:27,742 - You just have to endure? - Yes. 1320 01:52:30,533 --> 01:52:33,116 "As your days are, so shall your strength be." 1321 01:52:33,117 --> 01:52:36,367 - Heidi? - Yes, that's one of Heidi's sayings. 1322 01:52:39,033 --> 01:52:42,657 I have to go now, or I'll be late. 1323 01:52:42,658 --> 01:52:46,532 Why don't Heidi, you, and I meet up one day? 1324 01:52:46,533 --> 01:52:50,116 - That would be so nice! - Go with Heidi to Oslo, and ... 1325 01:52:50,117 --> 01:52:52,532 - Yes! - We could go out to eat. 1326 01:52:52,533 --> 01:52:55,657 I don't want to ruin anything for you and Ole. 1327 01:52:55,658 --> 01:52:59,782 - You can put that behind you. - Yes? 1328 01:52:59,783 --> 01:53:05,033 - You can get my number from Heidi. - Heidi. Should I call you, or ... 1329 01:53:06,158 --> 01:53:08,907 - I have to go. - I'll talk to Heidi. Of course. 1330 01:53:08,908 --> 01:53:11,782 - Thank you for sitting with me. - Thanks for the coffee. 1331 01:53:11,783 --> 01:53:16,242 - Great talking to you. See you soon! - You too! Yes! Bye! 1332 01:53:39,658 --> 01:53:42,449 - Hi! - Are you a commuter now? 1333 01:53:42,450 --> 01:53:44,241 - No. - No? 1334 01:53:44,242 --> 01:53:47,907 Did you spend the night at ... what's-his-name's place? 1335 01:53:47,908 --> 01:53:51,657 - Yes. - Are things going well? 1336 01:53:51,658 --> 01:53:54,282 - Yes. - You look happy. 1337 01:53:54,283 --> 01:53:58,157 - I'm just excited about going to work. - Okay. 1338 01:53:58,158 --> 01:54:00,491 No, I'm actually really happy. 1339 01:54:00,492 --> 01:54:02,657 It feels like I'm thinking clearly. 1340 01:54:02,658 --> 01:54:03,782 That's wonderful. 1341 01:54:03,783 --> 01:54:06,532 - And you? You look happy yourself. - Yes? 1342 01:54:06,533 --> 01:54:10,366 I guess I am? I'm also excited about going to work. 1343 01:54:10,367 --> 01:54:12,241 - Hi. - Hi. 1344 01:54:12,242 --> 01:54:13,491 Up early? 1345 01:54:13,492 --> 01:54:18,032 I'm meeting with Anna and the musicians. 1346 01:54:18,033 --> 01:54:21,491 Did you stay over at Ole Harald's place? 1347 01:54:21,492 --> 01:54:25,491 How's the project going? Have they decided about the anniversary? 1348 01:54:25,492 --> 01:54:27,907 Yes, it ... 1349 01:54:27,908 --> 01:54:29,907 Okay ... 1350 01:54:29,908 --> 01:54:34,367 Yes. I had an awful meeting yesterday. 1351 01:54:35,658 --> 01:54:38,907 But things are turning out the way I want after all. 1352 01:54:38,908 --> 01:54:41,032 - Wow! - Not the way you think. 1353 01:54:41,033 --> 01:54:44,782 I realized that it's just stupid to spend that much money on a party. 1354 01:54:44,783 --> 01:54:50,782 I convinced them to spend it on making it easier for people to contact the council. 1355 01:54:50,783 --> 01:54:55,241 So that they get help when they need it, quite simply. 1356 01:54:55,242 --> 01:55:00,199 There will be a small event on the town hall roof, like Anna suggested. 1357 01:55:00,200 --> 01:55:03,532 We have composed a piece to be performed by a singer, 1358 01:55:03,533 --> 01:55:07,782 who's supposed to represent the "Oslo girl". It's a so-called everyday-cantata. 1359 01:55:07,783 --> 01:55:10,532 That's what we're rehearsing now. 1360 01:55:10,533 --> 01:55:17,032 This is so much simpler, and more meaningful, I think. 1361 01:55:17,033 --> 01:55:20,032 So now you don't want to quit after all? 1362 01:55:20,033 --> 01:55:22,908 I was planning to quit. 1363 01:55:24,033 --> 01:55:27,491 Think of all you've accomplished with this, Heidi. 1364 01:55:27,492 --> 01:55:31,074 You can't quit now. You're such a good thinker. 1365 01:55:31,075 --> 01:55:34,616 We need people like you in the municipality. 1366 01:55:34,617 --> 01:55:38,532 A first for everything! "You're needed in the municipality." 1367 01:55:38,533 --> 01:55:42,032 - You too. You're also needed. - But not you? 1368 01:55:42,033 --> 01:55:45,033 Me? Of course. I am the municipality. 1369 01:58:12,200 --> 01:58:15,200 {\an8}Subtitles: Nicolai Herzog Nortext 113640

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