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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,314 --> 00:00:05,003 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:13,146 --> 00:00:15,682 Hi, everybody. Welcome to Strain O' The Day. 3 00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:18,018 You've noticed we're a little dressed up. 4 00:00:18,085 --> 00:00:20,420 But if you haven't, come on, dude, focus. 5 00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:24,458 We're wearing fancy-ass gowns with the tags still on 6 00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:26,193 in honor of today's strain... 7 00:00:26,493 --> 00:00:27,528 Prom Night. 8 00:00:27,594 --> 00:00:30,364 This sativa-dominant hybrid has been specially engineered 9 00:00:30,430 --> 00:00:33,467 to recreate the way you felt that magical evening in May. 10 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:37,170 Young, giddy and deeply curious about that hard lump 11 00:00:37,237 --> 00:00:39,206 pressed against you during the slow dance. 12 00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:42,476 Speaking of which... 13 00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:45,412 - our dates have arrived! - Our dates have arrived! 14 00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:48,715 Hello, ladies. 15 00:00:51,083 --> 00:00:52,119 Pete, come on. 16 00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:57,457 Grew up on a commune, I don't know what a prom is. 17 00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:00,694 Wow, sweet threads. 18 00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:03,564 You two look like the coolest dudes in school. 19 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,568 Yeah. I know you only asked me out because I'm dying, 20 00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:09,069 but I'm okay with that. 21 00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:12,802 What's happening? 22 00:01:13,185 --> 00:01:14,241 Stop it. 23 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,410 So, did you guys, like, bring it? 24 00:01:16,476 --> 00:01:19,212 Oh. We sure did. 25 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:23,283 - Ooh. - Aah. 26 00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:26,119 It matches my dress. 27 00:01:26,186 --> 00:01:28,789 And Prom Night is only $50 an eighth. 28 00:01:28,855 --> 00:01:32,326 So, you'll have money left over to buy that morning-after pill. 29 00:01:35,395 --> 00:01:37,331 We're definitely getting some tonight. 30 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:40,500 We have some right here, but they're wearing it 31 00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:42,269 - and I still don't know why. - Pete. 32 00:01:44,237 --> 00:01:45,305 Hi, kids. 33 00:01:45,372 --> 00:01:48,508 You didn't think you were getting away without pictures, did you? 34 00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:51,378 Oh, Mom. 35 00:01:51,678 --> 00:01:54,748 Hi, Mrs. Whitefeather Feldman from Ruth's Alternative Caring. 36 00:01:54,815 --> 00:01:56,149 Hi, Mr. Carter. 37 00:01:56,516 --> 00:01:57,551 You two... 38 00:01:58,218 --> 00:02:00,854 what are your intentions regarding my daughters? 39 00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:04,758 Sir... we intend to get them high. 40 00:02:05,325 --> 00:02:06,693 On Prom Night. 41 00:02:08,328 --> 00:02:09,663 We approve! 42 00:02:15,435 --> 00:02:18,572 But if either of you sons of bitches lays a finger on my daughters... 43 00:02:18,841 --> 00:02:19,906 I'll shoot you dead. 44 00:02:24,544 --> 00:02:26,246 I am so fucking serious right now. 45 00:02:27,714 --> 00:02:30,250 No, I'm messing with you, boys. Screw them senseless! 46 00:02:31,518 --> 00:02:33,220 Thanks, Dad. 47 00:02:33,481 --> 00:02:34,588 Prom Night. 48 00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:38,191 Share it with someone you'll stalk on Facebook in 20 years. 49 00:02:54,374 --> 00:02:56,610 - So, what am I looking at here? - It's Leafly. 50 00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:59,479 It's a website and an app. It's Yelp for pot. 51 00:03:00,947 --> 00:03:03,517 It's a place where customers can post reviews on our store. 52 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,556 Here. Check it out. 53 00:03:07,254 --> 00:03:11,825 "Ruth's Alternative Caring is a great dispensary and Ruth is the best." 54 00:03:12,158 --> 00:03:13,326 Wow. 55 00:03:13,393 --> 00:03:15,362 People on the Internet are really nice. 56 00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:18,198 Here's one. 57 00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:20,333 "I'm a high school math teacher 58 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:21,600 and Ruth's Alternative Caring 59 00:03:21,624 --> 00:03:24,015 is the only reason I haven't killed myself." 60 00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:28,308 We get a lot of public school teachers in here 61 00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:29,576 who wanna leave the planet. 62 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:34,981 I... I like this, though. 63 00:03:35,248 --> 00:03:38,985 I mean, you know, Travis, getting on Leafly, that was a good idea. 64 00:03:39,252 --> 00:03:40,757 Wait, really? 65 00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:43,623 Not, "It was a good idea for a sellout with an MBA"? 66 00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:45,792 Also known as an MBA-hole. 67 00:03:47,294 --> 00:03:50,230 - Right? - Ooh. That was good. 68 00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:53,934 Oh, man. MBA-hole. Where was that during the Scrabble game? 69 00:03:56,269 --> 00:03:58,939 No, no, but seriously, it's a good idea. 70 00:03:59,005 --> 00:04:02,309 Well, to be fair, Olivia's the one who made the Leafly thing happen. 71 00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:04,711 - She's the real hero. - Oh, I'm no hero. 72 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:08,281 Just a humble pot-store employee who completed a task. 73 00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:10,751 Oh, hey, I guess I am a hero. 74 00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:14,688 Wow, this is the good stuff. 75 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,691 All of us working together again. 76 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:20,794 You know? No more of that needless infighting. 77 00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:23,497 We're all on the same team finally. 78 00:04:23,563 --> 00:04:24,898 Team Me. 79 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:30,837 Although, seriously, I still do wish the two of you were fucking. 80 00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:36,543 What? 81 00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:44,618 Hi-yah! 82 00:04:44,703 --> 00:04:45,752 Two boards. 83 00:04:46,931 --> 00:04:47,954 Impressive. 84 00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:51,024 It seems the student has become... 85 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:53,059 a better student. 86 00:04:53,660 --> 00:04:56,029 Only because the teacher has become the teacher 87 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,732 of the student who learned what I learned. 88 00:05:00,314 --> 00:05:01,468 Wise words. 89 00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:04,905 - Have you been practicing your meditation? - No. 90 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:07,607 Good. You should never do that without a spotter. 91 00:05:12,529 --> 00:05:13,680 Fast. 92 00:05:15,154 --> 00:05:16,268 Yeah. 93 00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:19,786 Well, my lunch break's over, I should probably head back. 94 00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:21,087 You got kids, Pete, huh? 95 00:05:21,354 --> 00:05:22,422 You a family man? 96 00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:24,825 - No. - Yeah, I am, too. 97 00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:26,960 Three girls. 98 00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:29,396 Of whom I have sole custody. 99 00:05:29,696 --> 00:05:30,697 On weekends. 100 00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:35,502 No son, though. No... heir apparent. 101 00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:40,040 No one to take this studio over when I'm in my Tae Kwon Dotage. 102 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:42,742 What about your girls? 103 00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:44,844 No. No. 104 00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:49,482 They wanna be a princess, a unicorn and an arts administrator. 105 00:05:49,749 --> 00:05:51,751 Three imaginary jobs. 106 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,622 Besides, dojangs are traditionally handed down 107 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,958 from father to son in the Korean culture. 108 00:05:58,592 --> 00:05:59,893 That's according to Wikipedia. 109 00:06:01,561 --> 00:06:02,729 Well, again, I should... 110 00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:06,394 You know, I've long sought a young protégé to be that surrogate son. 111 00:06:06,465 --> 00:06:07,504 But alas... 112 00:06:07,785 --> 00:06:10,410 I've found no one among my students with the purity of heart 113 00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:14,407 and the ease of self to carry on the Intensity Plus legacy. 114 00:06:15,842 --> 00:06:16,876 I have an idea. 115 00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:18,144 Yes, Pete? 116 00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:20,880 Maybe I could help you... 117 00:06:22,582 --> 00:06:24,618 hand out those 10-percent-off coupons. 118 00:06:26,653 --> 00:06:27,854 That's what got me in here. 119 00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:30,824 Hey. Good to see you. 120 00:06:48,708 --> 00:06:50,043 That review there. Read that. 121 00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:53,613 "Everyone at Ruth's is great, but I particularly love Jenny. 122 00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:55,288 Not only did she set me up 123 00:06:55,335 --> 00:06:58,085 with some kick-ass Frosted Mini Weed cereal... 124 00:06:58,885 --> 00:07:02,589 she's chill, funny and radiates a beautiful sadness." 125 00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:07,127 Beautiful sadness? What does that look like? 126 00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:15,635 - That is spot-on. Yeah. - Wow, just devastating. 127 00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:19,639 You need to figure out who this "Lah-doo-day" is. 128 00:07:20,907 --> 00:07:22,042 I think it's "L.A. Dude." 129 00:07:23,743 --> 00:07:25,445 It doesn't matter what his name is. 130 00:07:25,512 --> 00:07:27,914 All that matters is, I haven't had sex in 11 months. 131 00:07:32,652 --> 00:07:34,688 Oh, God, we have to find him. 132 00:07:34,754 --> 00:07:37,023 Preferably before 2:45, I gotta go pick up my kids. 133 00:07:37,924 --> 00:07:38,925 Hey, Carter. 134 00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:42,062 We keep security footage of everyone who comes in the store, right? 135 00:07:45,431 --> 00:07:46,566 Roger that. 136 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,537 So, we could go back through it and figure out 137 00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:52,806 who bought a box of Frosted Mini Weed from me. 138 00:07:52,872 --> 00:07:55,909 - Yeah, let's do it! It'll be fun. - Okay, yeah, let's do it. 139 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,211 Like private investigators, solving a mystery. 140 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,814 I'll be the boss and y'all the three lady detectives. 141 00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:02,682 Carter's Angels. No, no, no. 142 00:08:02,742 --> 00:08:03,917 Charlie's Carters. 143 00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:08,254 - No! Magnum, P.I.! - He is so fucking high right now. 144 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:12,492 I can't even follow. 145 00:08:29,909 --> 00:08:31,711 - Hello, Pete. - Hey, Ruth. 146 00:08:32,912 --> 00:08:34,214 That didn't scare you? 147 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,916 Oh, crap, I knew I should have swiveled faster. 148 00:08:38,818 --> 00:08:40,120 Is, uh, everything okay? 149 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:41,755 You tell me. 150 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:43,857 You're the self-defense expert. 151 00:08:43,923 --> 00:08:46,526 I wouldn't call myself an expert. 152 00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:48,895 I've just been taking classes from Tae Kwon Doug. 153 00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:52,532 Oh, is that your story? 'Cause here's what I think. 154 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:56,036 I think you've been taking classes from Tae Kwon Doug. 155 00:08:59,606 --> 00:09:02,175 In a sense... we're both right. 156 00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:07,647 Pete, Tae Kwon Doug tried to have us shut down. 157 00:09:08,028 --> 00:09:09,933 He had me arrested for the simple act 158 00:09:09,972 --> 00:09:11,730 of jumping off a truck on top of him, 159 00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:12,986 plus some light punching. 160 00:09:14,587 --> 00:09:17,023 I mean, what are you doing giving him your business? 161 00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:19,759 I'm not giving him any money. He's teaching me for free. 162 00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:22,262 I think it's more of a friendship thing. 163 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,232 You two are friends? 164 00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:29,803 Sure. 165 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:34,974 So... if you threw a party and you invited all your friends, 166 00:09:35,041 --> 00:09:36,276 he would be at that party? 167 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,144 If he were available. 168 00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:44,784 And, uh, if... If you needed help moving and he had a pickup truck, 169 00:09:44,851 --> 00:09:46,953 you'd consider paying him in pizza? 170 00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:49,055 Yeah, although he's lactose-intolerant. 171 00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:53,226 You know he's lactose-intolerant? 172 00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:56,596 He shared that with you? 173 00:09:57,697 --> 00:10:01,267 Well, what's the big deal? He's just my Tae Kwon Do teacher. 174 00:10:02,311 --> 00:10:05,316 Well, since he's such a good teacher... 175 00:10:05,574 --> 00:10:07,442 maybe you can demonstrate on me. 176 00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:13,313 Okay? I'm gonna open my mouth and using your exciting new techniques... 177 00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:17,784 reach in with your arm and rip my heart out. 178 00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:23,289 See now, that sounds advanced. I just started. 179 00:10:26,025 --> 00:10:29,028 Pete, I think we always knew that it would come to this. 180 00:10:29,095 --> 00:10:31,898 Ever since I visited your family's compound, 181 00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:34,100 I saw you suckling at your mother's breast, 182 00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:38,905 you were happy, innocent... barely 6 years old. 183 00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:43,343 And you looked at me and you said, "Hi." 184 00:10:43,409 --> 00:10:45,245 Heh. Yeah, that sounds like me. 185 00:10:47,113 --> 00:10:48,748 That's not what you meant. 186 00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:53,653 What you meant was, "One day I'm gonna rip your heart out 187 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:56,055 and throw it on the floor in front of you." 188 00:10:58,124 --> 00:10:59,392 Well, that day has come. 189 00:11:00,059 --> 00:11:03,062 So, go ahead. Reach in, take what's yours. 190 00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,807 That's not him. He's not looking at Jenny. 191 00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:16,809 Actually, he's hot, though, so hold on. 192 00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:19,746 Stop. Rewind. Let me see him at regular speed. 193 00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:24,150 Ew! He's not hot at regular speed! 194 00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:27,687 Ah! Real time is not his friend! 195 00:11:29,155 --> 00:11:32,225 This is gonna take forever. We have to narrow it down. 196 00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:35,361 Wait, the guy wrote Jenny sold him Frosted Mini Weed, right? 197 00:11:35,963 --> 00:11:37,313 That's on the top shelf of the fridge. 198 00:11:37,352 --> 00:11:39,664 So, just look for Jenny reaching into that shelf. 199 00:11:39,799 --> 00:11:42,302 Olivia, you are not helping. 200 00:11:45,171 --> 00:11:48,174 Jenny, does someone like you really need to date some rando? 201 00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:51,010 Why not? A rando's just a guy you haven't fucked yet. 202 00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:54,948 God, that... That's beautiful. 203 00:11:56,316 --> 00:12:00,119 How about you, Carter? I bet you've been to the rando rodeo before, 204 00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:02,455 if you know what I'm saying! 205 00:12:03,489 --> 00:12:04,958 I do know what you're saying. 206 00:12:05,042 --> 00:12:06,092 Please stop. 207 00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:09,495 Ah! You sly dog. 208 00:12:12,031 --> 00:12:13,433 All right, I guess it's my turn. 209 00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:16,869 - No. We're not... There's no turns. - It was tenth grade. 210 00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:20,440 I was on a school trip to Colonial Williamsburg. 211 00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:22,875 Little did I know that an apprentice blacksmith 212 00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:27,380 was about to pound this innocent wench into womanhood. 213 00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:27,173 We cavorted in the hayloft for nigh on 20 minutes, 214 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,375 and then he screamed, "Odds bodkins!" 215 00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:33,279 And that's when I knew I had become a woman. 216 00:13:37,183 --> 00:13:40,019 Vape drop. Pew! 217 00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:47,493 ♪ Wish there was a song About being sad ♪ 218 00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:55,501 ♪ I wish there was a song About being sad right now ♪ 219 00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:58,504 ♪ 'Cause I'd sing it on the roof ♪ 220 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,507 ♪ Yeah, I'd sing it on the roof ♪ 221 00:14:04,529 --> 00:14:05,611 You sad? 222 00:14:08,114 --> 00:14:09,916 God, you know me so well. 223 00:14:13,219 --> 00:14:15,922 Mom gave you the whole "rip my heart out" speech, huh? 224 00:14:15,988 --> 00:14:17,623 - That's a thing? - Oh, yeah. 225 00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:19,525 I've ripped her heart out many times. 226 00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:23,363 I've also pecked at her liver... poisoned her womb. 227 00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:26,366 In high school, I gave her stage V soul cancer. 228 00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:32,105 I don't understand how I was disloyal. 229 00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:35,208 I'm just taking free lessons from Tae Kwon Douglas. 230 00:14:36,008 --> 00:14:37,877 She's afraid you'll choose him over her. 231 00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:40,146 When she got out of jail, I stayed with my dad, 232 00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:43,015 she gave the whole speech, didn't talk to me for a year. 233 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,252 I didn't talk for a year once. 234 00:14:47,253 --> 00:14:49,222 It was my first year. 235 00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:58,898 So... should I stop taking lessons from Douglas? 236 00:14:58,965 --> 00:15:01,501 What? You don't need to quit 'cause of what my mom thinks. 237 00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,203 And you need to tell her that. Stand up to her. 238 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:05,671 I'll go with you if it helps. 239 00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:11,144 Okay, thanks. Just give me a few more minutes here. 240 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:12,678 Take your time. 241 00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:22,622 ♪ Ruth, I need to stand up to you ♪ 242 00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:26,192 ♪ But I'm afraid ♪ 243 00:15:29,295 --> 00:15:34,133 ♪ Camptown Races sing this song Doo-dah! Doo-dah! ♪ 244 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:38,471 ♪ Camptown racetrack's five mile long Oh, doo-dah day! ♪ 245 00:15:45,011 --> 00:15:46,946 Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Look at this. 246 00:15:47,004 --> 00:15:48,831 There's Jenny getting 247 00:15:48,916 --> 00:15:51,917 Frosted Mini Weed for the guy with the motorcycle helmet. 248 00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:53,453 Oh, my God, he's hot. 249 00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:55,221 And he's checking out your ass. 250 00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:58,324 Yeah, baby. Beautiful sadness in the front, 251 00:15:58,391 --> 00:16:00,526 party in the back. 252 00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:03,529 A motorcycle helmet, I like it. 253 00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:07,166 It says, "I'm cool, but I don't want a brain injury." 254 00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:11,314 Whoa, okay, look, it seems like 255 00:16:11,369 --> 00:16:13,626 your future husband knows Dank and Dabby. 256 00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:15,174 Oh, great. 257 00:16:16,542 --> 00:16:18,744 Maybe they're not friends. Maybe they just met. 258 00:16:29,021 --> 00:16:30,723 - That took some practice. - Mm-hm. 259 00:16:31,357 --> 00:16:33,401 It's like they're on a team 260 00:16:33,464 --> 00:16:35,354 and they're celebrating sports points. 261 00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:40,032 Well, I don't care if he's friends with them. I can change him. 262 00:16:40,099 --> 00:16:43,469 The point is, he knows Dank and Dabby, so we can just ask them. 263 00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:45,171 Ah! Yes, you're right. 264 00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:47,440 Charlie's Carters has a lead. 265 00:17:01,587 --> 00:17:03,589 Mom, it's me and Pete. 266 00:17:04,123 --> 00:17:06,325 Uh, just a second. 267 00:17:09,095 --> 00:17:10,763 Uh, send Pete in first. 268 00:17:19,238 --> 00:17:22,375 No, no, no. That was my happy-to-see-you swivel. 269 00:17:23,109 --> 00:17:24,510 It felt very aggressive. 270 00:17:26,646 --> 00:17:30,249 Mom... Pete has something he'd like to say to you. 271 00:17:30,316 --> 00:17:32,251 No, no. I wanna say something first. 272 00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:34,186 Pete, I'm sorry. 273 00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:37,790 How could you know you were forbidden to see Tae Kwon Doug? 274 00:17:38,524 --> 00:17:40,560 You... You didn't know. But now you do. 275 00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:43,062 You're forbidden from seeing Tae Kwon Doug. 276 00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:45,698 He's a shit bird. 277 00:17:47,433 --> 00:17:48,634 So, we cool? 278 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,203 - I guess. - Great. 279 00:17:51,270 --> 00:17:52,638 Welcome back to Team Me. 280 00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:54,440 Oh, no, no, no. 281 00:17:55,936 --> 00:17:57,121 Pete? 282 00:17:58,387 --> 00:17:59,512 Ruth... 283 00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:04,584 I would like to continue taking lessons from Tae Kwon Douglas. 284 00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:08,148 I see. 285 00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:11,724 Well... I suppose this is good timing. 286 00:18:11,999 --> 00:18:13,225 'Cause I, uh... 287 00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:15,528 I just had a boba tea and... 288 00:18:16,195 --> 00:18:18,297 my esophagus is nicely lubed so you can... 289 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,368 reach right in and rip my heart out! 290 00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:24,804 - No, no. - No. All right? 291 00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:26,372 No. No bullying people. 292 00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:28,608 All right? Especially when they're sensitive. 293 00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:30,176 Hey. Here you go, buddy. 294 00:18:30,242 --> 00:18:32,311 Yeah. Yeah. 295 00:18:32,728 --> 00:18:33,813 Yeah. 296 00:18:36,182 --> 00:18:38,751 Look at what you've done to Pete. He can barely smoke weed. 297 00:18:43,450 --> 00:18:44,590 Pete. 298 00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:46,692 Pete, Pete, Pete. 299 00:18:47,020 --> 00:18:48,327 Come on, be honest. 300 00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:50,830 You really like taking those lessons? 301 00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:56,168 No, but... I do like Douglas. 302 00:18:57,336 --> 00:19:00,906 Well, do you promise to like me better than him? 303 00:19:05,130 --> 00:19:06,212 Uh... 304 00:19:07,213 --> 00:19:08,447 Just say yes and go! 305 00:19:09,169 --> 00:19:10,316 Go! 306 00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:17,356 Yeah, that's definitely us. 307 00:19:17,423 --> 00:19:20,726 Yeah, you can tell because that's her and that's me. 308 00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:22,495 You're so smart. 309 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,527 But this guy with the motorcycle helmet who wants to marry me, 310 00:19:25,552 --> 00:19:26,564 who's he? 311 00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:29,335 What do you mean, "ugh"? 312 00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:31,937 What part of "ugh" don't you understand? 313 00:19:32,571 --> 00:19:34,774 Wait, hold on a second, you guys. 314 00:19:35,474 --> 00:19:38,377 This guy looks a lot like my cousin Paul... 315 00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:41,614 who died 13 years ago. 316 00:19:43,649 --> 00:19:46,919 Oh, shit. We hugged a ghost! 317 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:51,223 - Oh, my God. Boo. - Whoa! Boo... 318 00:19:51,290 --> 00:19:54,260 So, you guys have no idea who that guy is? 319 00:19:54,326 --> 00:19:55,761 You're hugging him like best friends. 320 00:19:56,896 --> 00:20:00,866 Carter, do you have any idea how many humans, animals and plants 321 00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:02,535 we hug in a given day? 322 00:20:02,601 --> 00:20:03,848 Thirty-two. 323 00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:06,272 One for each day of Black History Month. 324 00:20:09,308 --> 00:20:11,844 Come on, you have to know something about this guy. 325 00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:13,440 Yeah, 'cause he's not just any guy. 326 00:20:13,464 --> 00:20:15,846 That's L.A. Dude. That's her soul mate. 327 00:20:15,922 --> 00:20:17,830 Well, I mean, if he's your soul mate, 328 00:20:17,854 --> 00:20:19,751 then you just have to trust in destiny. 329 00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:22,254 Yeah. That's how we met. At Stanford Medical School. 330 00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:27,693 You went to Stanford Med School? I was wait-listed there. 331 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,562 - Well, they just let us right in. - Mm-hm. 332 00:20:33,532 --> 00:20:36,736 Okay. That concludes the Cannabis Tolerance Study. 333 00:20:36,802 --> 00:20:37,937 Can we clear the smoke? 334 00:21:01,827 --> 00:21:02,928 Get on my back. 335 00:21:06,899 --> 00:21:09,535 Oh, wait, that wasn't us. We met at Pollo Loco. 336 00:21:10,636 --> 00:21:12,438 Oh, you're right. 337 00:21:12,505 --> 00:21:15,307 - That place has soda! - Mmm! 338 00:21:15,374 --> 00:21:17,610 Nom, nom, nom... 339 00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:23,816 Looking for a revolutionary shaving experience? 340 00:21:23,883 --> 00:21:27,820 Try Cannafoam, the first ever cannabis-infused shaving cream. 341 00:21:28,721 --> 00:21:33,325 Cannafoam's unique blend of emollients, moisturizers and THC 342 00:21:33,392 --> 00:21:36,061 transforms your straight, rigid, inflexible facial hair... 343 00:21:36,328 --> 00:21:37,830 We'll conquer your face! 344 00:21:37,897 --> 00:21:40,633 ...into docile, tranquil strands of compliant stubble 345 00:21:40,699 --> 00:21:43,702 too dazed to offer resistance to the blade. 346 00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:46,539 Shave with the grain, against the grain, 347 00:21:46,605 --> 00:21:49,659 or just tell the hair there's something cool you saw in the sink. 348 00:21:49,698 --> 00:21:50,743 Let's go! 349 00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:53,679 You'll be rewarded with the closest shave you've ever had. 350 00:21:53,746 --> 00:21:54,814 Ooh. Sexy. 351 00:21:55,948 --> 00:21:59,552 Oh, my God, you touched my face. 352 00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:08,394 Cannafoam. 353 00:22:08,460 --> 00:22:10,863 Available wherever cannabis shaving products are sold. 354 00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:17,970 You know, we can keep looking if you want. 355 00:22:19,438 --> 00:22:22,474 That's okay. Maybe he'll come back in again. 356 00:22:22,908 --> 00:22:25,511 And if he doesn't, I'm sure you'll find somebody else. 357 00:22:25,844 --> 00:22:27,479 'Cause you're pretty great. 358 00:22:29,381 --> 00:22:30,583 Thanks, Carter. 359 00:22:32,017 --> 00:22:37,823 You know... I'm pretty good at spotting chemistry between people. 360 00:22:37,890 --> 00:22:39,528 And, uh... 361 00:22:39,625 --> 00:22:43,362 Jenny, you and L.A. Dude have it! 362 00:22:58,043 --> 00:22:59,778 My self is centered. 363 00:23:00,879 --> 00:23:03,048 My self is centered. 364 00:23:04,049 --> 00:23:06,118 My self is centered. 365 00:23:07,953 --> 00:23:09,855 Okay, I'm self-centered. 366 00:23:15,355 --> 00:23:16,428 Doug. 367 00:23:20,769 --> 00:23:21,867 Ruth. 368 00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:24,436 Doug. 369 00:23:26,705 --> 00:23:28,574 Ruth. 370 00:23:31,677 --> 00:23:33,445 We need to talk about Pete. 371 00:23:33,779 --> 00:23:35,581 Oh, you mean my new student? 372 00:23:35,914 --> 00:23:39,118 I mean my employee... whom I've known since he was 6. 373 00:23:39,523 --> 00:23:40,719 Six, huh? 374 00:23:41,585 --> 00:23:42,655 That's, um... 375 00:23:43,756 --> 00:23:45,424 That's an adorable age. 376 00:23:48,273 --> 00:23:49,461 Yeah, it is. 377 00:23:50,095 --> 00:23:51,897 And I make it my mission... 378 00:23:57,970 --> 00:23:59,571 to protect and guide him. 379 00:24:03,075 --> 00:24:06,002 I don't suppose you've heard much about his, uh... 380 00:24:06,127 --> 00:24:07,580 odd family background. 381 00:24:07,613 --> 00:24:10,215 Oh, yeah, he's painted quite a picture. 382 00:24:10,482 --> 00:24:13,852 Frolicking through the marijuana fields in hemp diapers. 383 00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:19,525 With all his many mothers and fathers, also in hemp diapers. 384 00:24:21,860 --> 00:24:23,028 You don't get to judge. 385 00:24:23,729 --> 00:24:25,597 You weren't there. I was there. 386 00:24:25,931 --> 00:24:27,599 It was a fucking freak show. 387 00:24:29,702 --> 00:24:33,739 How someone could emerge from that with such a pure soul is beyond me. 388 00:24:35,373 --> 00:24:36,508 I agree. 389 00:24:38,477 --> 00:24:41,847 You know, nothing or no one should ever hurt that boy. 390 00:24:42,927 --> 00:24:44,083 You're right. 391 00:24:46,819 --> 00:24:49,955 Maybe you and I aren't so different after all. 392 00:24:51,056 --> 00:24:53,792 No, we're extremely different. In every way. 393 00:24:53,859 --> 00:24:56,228 Gender, height, worldview. 394 00:24:56,695 --> 00:24:58,230 Also, I can eat cheese. 395 00:25:02,034 --> 00:25:04,103 He told you about my lactose intolerance. 396 00:25:05,037 --> 00:25:07,172 Well, I'll have you know there are soy cheeses 397 00:25:07,239 --> 00:25:09,208 that you'd swear were the genuine article. 398 00:25:09,274 --> 00:25:11,810 - You get nothing in here. You just eat... - Never mind. 399 00:25:13,545 --> 00:25:17,983 The point is, you're Pete's friend... and he enjoys your company. 400 00:25:18,617 --> 00:25:22,755 So... I approve that you give him lessons. 401 00:25:23,856 --> 00:25:26,125 Even though he doesn't need my approval. 402 00:25:30,295 --> 00:25:31,764 Well, okay. Huh. 403 00:25:37,073 --> 00:25:38,170 Hey, Ruth? 404 00:25:38,885 --> 00:25:39,938 Yeah, Doug? 405 00:25:41,140 --> 00:25:44,810 You see that pretzel shop that opened up next to Keychain Heaven? 406 00:25:44,877 --> 00:25:47,212 Ugh. Artisanal mustards? 407 00:25:47,279 --> 00:25:49,848 - Yeah, that's gonna pack them in. - I know. 408 00:26:01,226 --> 00:26:02,261 You guys still open? 409 00:26:03,128 --> 00:26:04,129 If you're fast. 410 00:26:04,863 --> 00:26:06,665 Can I get a box of Frosted Mini Weed? 411 00:26:06,732 --> 00:26:07,807 Sure. 412 00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:10,487 Thanks. I just need it before I leave town tomorrow. 413 00:26:10,534 --> 00:26:11,603 Where you headed? 414 00:26:11,670 --> 00:26:13,806 Taipei. Moving there to teach English. 415 00:26:13,872 --> 00:26:14,932 That's cool. 416 00:26:15,007 --> 00:26:16,182 Like they say... 417 00:26:16,241 --> 00:26:19,144 Life is all about timing. 418 00:26:20,979 --> 00:26:22,748 Hey, Travis! I'm leaving! 419 00:26:22,815 --> 00:26:25,250 I'm going out the back door tonight for the first time ever. 420 00:26:25,317 --> 00:26:27,052 Just to see what it's like! 421 00:26:29,007 --> 00:26:30,189 Okay. 422 00:26:31,123 --> 00:26:32,591 Yeah, so that'll be $20. 423 00:26:33,158 --> 00:26:34,760 - There you go. Thanks. - Thanks. 424 00:26:35,093 --> 00:26:37,029 Hey, enjoy your last night in L.A., dude. 425 00:26:46,738 --> 00:26:50,776 ♪ Sometimes I feel trapped In a little box ♪ 426 00:26:51,276 --> 00:26:53,846 ♪ Inside a big box ♪ 427 00:26:55,247 --> 00:26:59,084 ♪ People ignore me for the most part ♪ 428 00:27:00,953 --> 00:27:03,188 ♪ Unless they go out of their way ♪ 429 00:27:05,991 --> 00:27:10,028 ♪ Way down upon the Swanee River ♪ 430 00:27:10,095 --> 00:27:13,799 ♪ Far, far away ♪ 32465

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