Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:11,478
Good morning, everybody.
2
00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:13,146
Thanks for coming in early.
3
00:00:13,213 --> 00:00:14,547
Boo!
4
00:00:16,149 --> 00:00:17,350
Yeah, fuck you, too.
5
00:00:18,651 --> 00:00:20,653
My son, of whom I'm very proud,
6
00:00:20,876 --> 00:00:23,178
wants to talk to you about
his vision for the store.
7
00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:25,125
Boo!
8
00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:26,526
All right, guys, settle down.
9
00:00:26,977 --> 00:00:28,395
Carter, thank you for not booing.
10
00:00:28,468 --> 00:00:29,985
You have to care to boo.
11
00:00:31,930 --> 00:00:33,473
Goodbye.
12
00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:37,894
Guys, this is the first of what I hope
will be many staff meetings. I...
13
00:00:37,925 --> 00:00:39,793
Many? What, are you fucking kidding me?
14
00:00:41,628 --> 00:00:43,664
I'm sorry... continue.
15
00:00:45,111 --> 00:00:48,081
Well, as you know, the cannabis
industry is at a crossroads.
16
00:00:48,148 --> 00:00:49,598
You're losing them.
17
00:00:51,074 --> 00:00:53,415
Mr. Travis, are there
gonna be bathroom breaks?
18
00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:54,703
Yeah, I guess.
19
00:00:57,032 --> 00:00:59,021
Okay, I get it. You
don't wanna be here...
20
00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:00,160
Thank you.
21
00:01:02,195 --> 00:01:03,830
Oh, look who stayed.
22
00:01:04,331 --> 00:01:06,443
What does that mean? You stayed, too.
23
00:01:06,499 --> 00:01:10,103
Yeah, but I'm not trying to make
butterscotch babies with this one.
24
00:01:11,997 --> 00:01:13,020
Where's Ruth?
25
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,574
I need to talk to her now!
26
00:01:14,726 --> 00:01:17,201
You will settle down, sir.
27
00:01:17,495 --> 00:01:19,164
Ruth! I know you're here!
28
00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:20,524
If you'll excuse me,
29
00:01:20,548 --> 00:01:22,808
it appears I have a gentleman caller.
30
00:01:28,387 --> 00:01:32,426
synced & corrected by PopcornAWH
www.addic7ed.com.
31
00:02:14,874 --> 00:02:16,121
What's going on?
32
00:02:16,566 --> 00:02:19,676
I opened the door for business
and he barged in in his jammies.
33
00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:23,701
- It's called a gi.
- I don't care what it's called,
34
00:02:23,726 --> 00:02:25,527
you look like an asshole.
35
00:02:26,746 --> 00:02:27,814
Carter, be nice.
36
00:02:27,966 --> 00:02:29,834
Tae Kwon Doug is our next-door neighbor.
37
00:02:30,831 --> 00:02:32,238
My name is Douglas.
38
00:02:33,863 --> 00:02:34,948
I'm sorry.
39
00:02:34,973 --> 00:02:36,256
Tae Kwon Douglas.
40
00:02:37,339 --> 00:02:39,088
Is this about me parking in your space?
41
00:02:39,237 --> 00:02:40,599
No, I don't care about the space.
42
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,362
- I run here.
- Oh.
43
00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:45,365
You were a fat kid, weren't you?
44
00:02:47,716 --> 00:02:49,284
I was a little chubby, yeah.
45
00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:53,172
Look, I'm here on behalf
46
00:02:53,239 --> 00:02:55,742
of all the other storeowners
in the retail plaza.
47
00:02:56,180 --> 00:02:57,769
It's called a strip mall.
48
00:02:58,344 --> 00:03:01,614
See? And there we have it, don't we?
To us, it's a retail plaza
49
00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:04,476
where we make honest livings
as martial arts instructors,
50
00:03:04,543 --> 00:03:07,546
cold-pressed juicers, and
ethnic hair-care providers.
51
00:03:09,422 --> 00:03:12,392
But to you, no, it's just a strip
mall where it's perfectly fine
52
00:03:12,458 --> 00:03:14,294
- for your customers...
- They're patients.
53
00:03:14,727 --> 00:03:16,696
Oh. I'm so sorry.
54
00:03:16,823 --> 00:03:19,776
Your "patients" to take
their "medicine" out
55
00:03:19,815 --> 00:03:21,136
in our parking lot.
56
00:03:21,399 --> 00:03:23,206
Can you do those air quotes again?
57
00:03:23,269 --> 00:03:24,771
'Cause it's a perfect dick move.
58
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:29,576
You're a dick move! Okay.
59
00:03:33,513 --> 00:03:36,749
Look... families are the
backbone of our businesses here,
60
00:03:36,816 --> 00:03:40,253
and when families come here and see
people snarfing doobs, it's bad.
61
00:03:40,386 --> 00:03:41,502
Do you understand that?
62
00:03:41,548 --> 00:03:44,463
Look, Tae Kwon, I
understand your position,
63
00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:46,326
but it's established case law
64
00:03:46,606 --> 00:03:50,438
that a storeowner is not liable for
a customer's misuse of a product
65
00:03:50,470 --> 00:03:51,947
in an adjacent parking lot.
66
00:03:52,025 --> 00:03:57,454
And I would refer you to 2005's Los
Angeles County v. Hector's Dildos.
67
00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:04,644
That was where three men were caught
in a parking lot repeatedly...
68
00:04:04,711 --> 00:04:06,412
Spare me your dildos!
69
00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:10,350
Look, I have come here to notify you
70
00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:14,008
that, in concert with four other
stores and two-thirds of our kiosks,
71
00:04:14,109 --> 00:04:17,012
I have presented the landlord
with a formal complaint.
72
00:04:19,153 --> 00:04:20,455
Oh, no.
73
00:04:21,515 --> 00:04:23,417
Not just a complaint?
74
00:04:24,745 --> 00:04:26,180
A formal complaint?
75
00:04:28,783 --> 00:04:30,015
Oh, this is it.
76
00:04:30,578 --> 00:04:31,820
It's the big one.
77
00:04:34,719 --> 00:04:37,388
Lamont, when I'm dead,
keep the junkyard open.
78
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:39,976
I'm coming, Elizabeth.
79
00:04:40,088 --> 00:04:41,305
I'm coming.
80
00:04:47,982 --> 00:04:49,551
Thanks for stopping by.
81
00:04:52,233 --> 00:04:54,836
We look forward to
addressing your concerns.
82
00:04:56,638 --> 00:04:59,608
Yeah, well... you all don't
deserve this, but, uh...
83
00:05:09,409 --> 00:05:10,630
Okay.
84
00:05:13,951 --> 00:05:15,592
All right, show's over.
85
00:05:15,645 --> 00:05:17,138
Everybody back to work.
86
00:05:26,972 --> 00:05:28,240
So, about your mom...
87
00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:30,974
What the fuck?
88
00:05:33,005 --> 00:05:35,091
I've discussed this with
counselors and therapists.
89
00:05:35,132 --> 00:05:37,034
- They always say the same thing.
- What?
90
00:05:37,075 --> 00:05:38,271
"Our time is up."
91
00:05:39,915 --> 00:05:42,551
Well, I'd like her to
stay out of our business.
92
00:05:43,342 --> 00:05:45,060
Only one way to do that.
93
00:05:45,578 --> 00:05:47,346
Give her butterscotch grandbabies.
94
00:05:48,839 --> 00:05:51,208
That seems like a lot of effort.
But then again...
95
00:05:52,107 --> 00:05:53,453
she is the boss.
96
00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:54,654
Oh, hey. Hey.
97
00:05:55,296 --> 00:05:56,965
I don't take orders from my mom.
98
00:05:57,625 --> 00:06:00,228
Especially when it comes to the
women with whom I procreate.
99
00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:03,830
"With whom I procreate."
100
00:06:03,857 --> 00:06:06,726
- Proper grammar. Such a turn-on.
- Mm-hm.
101
00:06:06,925 --> 00:06:08,560
- That make you want me?
- Yeah.
102
00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:10,670
I mean, if it'll shut your mom up.
103
00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:12,505
Actually, you know, it's, um...
104
00:06:13,684 --> 00:06:15,201
"shut up your mom."
105
00:06:16,002 --> 00:06:18,171
- Never split a phrasal verb.
- Shut up.
106
00:06:24,650 --> 00:06:26,974
- You free tonight?
- I am now.
107
00:06:34,927 --> 00:06:37,474
This is going to be the end of the road
108
00:06:37,499 --> 00:06:39,201
for so many of the salmon.
109
00:06:39,432 --> 00:06:41,467
The grizzly is extremely hungry...
110
00:06:41,995 --> 00:06:45,532
he hasn't tasted salmon in seven
months, and they fight...
111
00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:49,776
The longer the salmon takes
on their journey upstream,
112
00:06:49,942 --> 00:06:51,577
the weaker they become.
113
00:06:52,418 --> 00:06:54,286
The bears hold the high ground.
114
00:06:54,599 --> 00:06:57,583
The salmon makes high leaps
to see where the bears are.
115
00:06:58,347 --> 00:07:00,883
This mother bear has been
waiting months for this moment.
116
00:07:01,554 --> 00:07:03,890
Competition is fierce for
these first salmon...
117
00:07:04,096 --> 00:07:05,096
Lay's.
118
00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:06,592
You're gonna love this.
119
00:07:06,659 --> 00:07:09,195
It's my favorite indica. Very relaxing.
120
00:07:10,020 --> 00:07:12,200
That's right, Jenny.
You're totally relaxed.
121
00:07:12,224 --> 00:07:13,745
Just keep telling yourself that.
122
00:07:13,839 --> 00:07:15,540
Or better yet, tell your parents.
123
00:07:15,701 --> 00:07:17,146
"Mom, Dad, good news!"
124
00:07:17,201 --> 00:07:20,552
I'm totally relaxed 'cause I
dropped out of medical school
125
00:07:20,577 --> 00:07:23,271
"to smoke and sell pot!"
126
00:07:23,341 --> 00:07:25,161
Thank you, happy medicating!
127
00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:29,582
Jenny!
128
00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:33,480
Jenny.
129
00:07:33,686 --> 00:07:34,686
Jennifer.
130
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,411
Janeefa. Ooh, I like that.
131
00:07:36,596 --> 00:07:38,097
That sounds African.
132
00:07:39,419 --> 00:07:41,966
Look at my man extrapolating, huh?
133
00:07:42,068 --> 00:07:43,471
Baby, I could do your name, too.
134
00:07:43,529 --> 00:07:45,005
Dabby. Daborah.
135
00:07:45,145 --> 00:07:46,302
Dabisha.
136
00:07:47,545 --> 00:07:49,013
Oh, not these fucksticks.
137
00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:53,773
- Ruth!
- Ruth!
138
00:07:53,902 --> 00:07:55,136
R-U-T-H.
139
00:07:55,195 --> 00:07:57,931
Are-You-T-H-seeing what I'm doing here?
140
00:07:59,657 --> 00:08:02,505
- That's crazy.
- He's the black Jamie Foxx.
141
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:03,716
That's very real.
142
00:08:03,783 --> 00:08:04,810
- That's very real.
- Hey.
143
00:08:04,879 --> 00:08:06,380
- Hey.
- Tongue my tongue.
144
00:08:06,544 --> 00:08:07,786
No, no, no. Hey.
145
00:08:09,388 --> 00:08:10,590
Put those back in your mouths.
146
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:13,576
- Ah, sorry, just...
- The two of us, when we're...
147
00:08:13,607 --> 00:08:14,941
When we're together...
148
00:08:14,966 --> 00:08:16,605
- All we need is...
- It's just like we're... We...
149
00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:19,966
- Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
150
00:08:20,032 --> 00:08:21,630
Yeah! Yeah!
151
00:08:21,899 --> 00:08:23,223
- Yeah!
- Oh!
152
00:08:23,645 --> 00:08:24,813
- Yeah!
- Aah!
153
00:08:29,668 --> 00:08:31,067
You know what we saying?
154
00:08:32,118 --> 00:08:33,219
Sadly, I do.
155
00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:37,116
Uh, look, I got a favor I gotta ask you.
156
00:08:37,427 --> 00:08:40,297
Favor. Favequa. Favante.
157
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,123
- Shut the fuck up.
- Okay.
158
00:08:45,879 --> 00:08:49,512
Look, Dank, Dabby, you know, you're
two of our best customers...
159
00:08:49,614 --> 00:08:52,450
- I thought we were patients.
- No, you're customers.
160
00:08:54,133 --> 00:08:57,590
And I appreciate your business, but I
just got a visit from Tae Kwon Doug,
161
00:08:57,629 --> 00:08:59,138
and... you and your friends,
162
00:08:59,283 --> 00:09:01,403
you're gonna have to stop
smoking in the parking lot.
163
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,175
Ah.
164
00:09:03,371 --> 00:09:04,677
Sure thing.
165
00:09:04,744 --> 00:09:06,078
Wink, wink.
166
00:09:06,946 --> 00:09:08,082
Yeah.
167
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:09,649
Rip Van Winker.
168
00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:12,685
No, no, no. No, no, no.
169
00:09:12,759 --> 00:09:14,942
This isn't a wink thing. Really...
170
00:09:15,588 --> 00:09:16,756
don't do it.
171
00:09:16,883 --> 00:09:17,965
Understood?
172
00:09:18,038 --> 00:09:20,740
- Overstood.
- Yeah. We're way behind you.
173
00:09:23,293 --> 00:09:26,065
All right, let's see if we can
try a different approach.
174
00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:27,403
Uh, do you like stories?
175
00:09:27,593 --> 00:09:29,629
- We love stories.
- Yeah, they all right.
176
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:32,528
Good. All right.
177
00:09:32,588 --> 00:09:35,257
Imagine you're a proud
Italian-American...
178
00:09:35,461 --> 00:09:39,999
and you've devoted your life to fighting
against negative ethnic stereotypes,
179
00:09:40,606 --> 00:09:44,150
but there are these two idiots
who keep coming into your store
180
00:09:44,216 --> 00:09:45,217
saying things like,
181
00:09:45,284 --> 00:09:49,621
"Hey, bada-bing, I like
spaghetti and the meatballs."
182
00:09:49,660 --> 00:09:50,613
Yeah.
183
00:09:50,683 --> 00:09:53,267
"I got a fuckin monkey on my shoulder."
184
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:55,770
Oh, yeah.
185
00:09:55,795 --> 00:09:57,921
You...? You see where
I'm going with this?
186
00:09:59,632 --> 00:10:00,746
No.
187
00:10:05,166 --> 00:10:07,035
You make our community look bad.
188
00:10:07,750 --> 00:10:09,480
You're shondas for the goyim.
189
00:10:09,708 --> 00:10:11,621
You're the morons people point to
190
00:10:11,677 --> 00:10:14,814
when they say, "People who
smoke pot are morons."
191
00:10:16,385 --> 00:10:18,320
- Sorry, Ruth.
- Yeah, Ruth.
192
00:10:18,757 --> 00:10:20,613
We don't wanna be no shondas.
193
00:10:24,056 --> 00:10:25,691
I know. I know you don't.
194
00:10:25,758 --> 00:10:27,960
I know you don't. And I'm
sorry I yelled at you.
195
00:10:28,245 --> 00:10:30,414
Jenny... give them a free joint.
196
00:10:31,247 --> 00:10:32,348
Bottom shelf.
197
00:10:34,266 --> 00:10:35,978
- Thanks, Ruth.
- Yeah, thanks, Ruth.
198
00:10:36,002 --> 00:10:37,493
- Here you go.
- Heh.
199
00:10:37,536 --> 00:10:40,773
Thank you. Come on. Let's go spark
that up in the parking lot.
200
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:43,603
All right.
201
00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:45,321
Thank you, baby.
202
00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:55,322
Hello and welcome to Strain O' the Day.
203
00:10:55,755 --> 00:10:56,993
You know, for me,
204
00:10:57,110 --> 00:11:00,092
one of the most exciting things
about working in the cannabis space
205
00:11:00,300 --> 00:11:03,470
is the opportunity it affords
female entrepreneurs.
206
00:11:03,696 --> 00:11:07,199
Which brings me to today's strain.
Eve's Bush.
207
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,009
Eve's Bush is the only
strain of marijuana
208
00:11:13,062 --> 00:11:16,235
guaranteed to never have
been touched by male hands.
209
00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:17,810
From seed to pipe,
210
00:11:17,877 --> 00:11:20,743
no creature with a Y
chromosome has ever penetrated
211
00:11:20,827 --> 00:11:23,229
the horticultural hymen of this bud.
212
00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:27,787
I've known the women who
run Eve's Bush Farm
213
00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:29,024
for over 30 years,
214
00:11:29,112 --> 00:11:32,815
and I can attest to the militancy
and virulence of their lesbianism.
215
00:11:34,474 --> 00:11:35,509
They hate men.
216
00:11:35,576 --> 00:11:36,576
They just do.
217
00:11:38,290 --> 00:11:39,932
Eve's Bush is the perfect choice,
218
00:11:39,999 --> 00:11:42,039
whether you wanna reconnect
with your inner goddess
219
00:11:42,068 --> 00:11:43,821
or just scissor with your bestie.
220
00:11:45,805 --> 00:11:48,353
Eve's Bush is available at 45 an eighth,
221
00:11:48,431 --> 00:11:51,744
but we're offering a special
25 percent discount
222
00:11:51,873 --> 00:11:54,909
for every marginalized
group to which you belong.
223
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:59,602
So, if you're a disabled,
transgender Latina, you smoke free.
224
00:12:01,921 --> 00:12:03,186
Eve's Bush.
225
00:12:03,582 --> 00:12:04,843
Put your mouth on it.
226
00:12:12,507 --> 00:12:14,227
Hey, you gonna be at
the apartment tonight?
227
00:12:14,295 --> 00:12:16,234
Yeah, probably when I get home.
228
00:12:18,104 --> 00:12:21,468
Okay, well, uh, just a heads-up,
I may be having someone over.
229
00:12:21,703 --> 00:12:22,897
A guest.
230
00:12:23,192 --> 00:12:24,280
Olivia?
231
00:12:24,877 --> 00:12:26,343
Why would you say Olivia?
232
00:12:26,443 --> 00:12:28,145
Because you said "guess," so I did.
233
00:12:29,490 --> 00:12:32,260
- No, I said "guest."
- Oh.
234
00:12:32,991 --> 00:12:34,185
Who's the guest?
235
00:12:35,817 --> 00:12:37,647
- It's Olivia.
- Oh, cool.
236
00:12:38,262 --> 00:12:39,577
So, I guessed right.
237
00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:41,527
I think you guys would be good together.
238
00:12:41,894 --> 00:12:43,694
You sound like you've
been talking to my mom.
239
00:12:43,762 --> 00:12:45,564
Yeah, we talk about you all the time.
240
00:12:46,585 --> 00:12:48,577
She's concerned you're
not having enough sex.
241
00:12:48,639 --> 00:12:50,035
Oh, God.
242
00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:51,272
I am, too.
243
00:12:51,343 --> 00:12:54,039
A young man like you should
be having regular orgasms.
244
00:12:54,192 --> 00:12:55,860
If not for you, for your prostate.
245
00:12:57,877 --> 00:13:00,491
- Good to know.
- And it's not just about the orgasms,
246
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:04,288
it's the emotional intimacy that can
only come when genitals hold hands.
247
00:13:05,604 --> 00:13:07,006
I'm gonna go, Pete.
248
00:13:08,343 --> 00:13:09,593
All right.
249
00:13:10,313 --> 00:13:12,006
- Hey, Travis?
- Yeah?
250
00:13:12,610 --> 00:13:13,905
Just remember...
251
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:18,397
when two people love each other...
there are no wrong holes.
252
00:13:27,398 --> 00:13:28,632
Thank you.
253
00:13:29,170 --> 00:13:30,514
Welcome.
254
00:14:38,241 --> 00:14:40,176
Thank you. Have a wonderful day.
255
00:14:58,664 --> 00:15:00,031
Lay's.
256
00:15:03,917 --> 00:15:05,718
Are you lights-on or lights-off?
257
00:15:06,084 --> 00:15:09,414
Actually, Alexa, dim
bedroom lights 50 percent.
258
00:15:09,584 --> 00:15:11,570
Dim bedroom lights to 50 percent.
259
00:15:11,629 --> 00:15:13,330
Oh, this is like a three-way.
260
00:15:14,469 --> 00:15:16,337
Nobody here but me and you.
261
00:15:19,285 --> 00:15:22,254
Jesus, Travis, you're going at
her like that stuffed rabbit
262
00:15:22,321 --> 00:15:24,414
you used to hump when you were 13.
263
00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:28,343
I'll get it.
264
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,430
Whoa, look at those childbearing hips.
265
00:15:31,621 --> 00:15:34,123
It's like a grandbaby superhighway.
266
00:15:35,681 --> 00:15:36,890
Who the hell are you?
267
00:15:37,554 --> 00:15:39,089
I'm the Ruth in Olivia's head.
268
00:15:39,227 --> 00:15:42,831
Well, I'm the Ruth in Travis'
head and I don't need your help.
269
00:15:43,215 --> 00:15:44,437
What's your problem?
270
00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:46,843
You just reminded her
she might get pregnant.
271
00:15:46,934 --> 00:15:48,636
Goodbye, lady boner.
272
00:15:49,539 --> 00:15:51,299
- Don't you want her to get pregnant?
- I do,
273
00:15:51,350 --> 00:15:53,218
but they gotta think it was their idea.
274
00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:55,546
Come on, Travis.
275
00:15:55,742 --> 00:15:58,695
- Do it for Momma! Make me proud!
- Come on, Olivia.
276
00:15:58,789 --> 00:16:00,526
- Do this for me.
- Travis! Travis! Travis!
277
00:16:00,592 --> 00:16:01,921
Let's go all the way.
278
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:04,596
- Who's my great, big boy?
- I wanna be your mother-in-law.
279
00:16:11,203 --> 00:16:13,072
Sorry. I'm just a little...
280
00:16:13,786 --> 00:16:15,121
Distracted?
281
00:16:15,741 --> 00:16:17,209
- Yeah.
- Yeah, me, too.
282
00:16:18,594 --> 00:16:20,596
You wanna go get a ramen or something?
283
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,386
Yeah, that sounds good.
284
00:16:25,578 --> 00:16:29,254
Great. Now they're gonna go get
something called a "ramen."
285
00:16:29,688 --> 00:16:32,054
They're Japanese noodles,
you ignorant fuck.
286
00:16:33,328 --> 00:16:34,726
We gonna do this thing?
287
00:16:35,058 --> 00:16:37,109
Any time, any place.
288
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:42,531
We could just light up.
289
00:16:43,207 --> 00:16:45,109
- Always a good idea.
- Yeah.
290
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:48,671
I would like some as well.
291
00:17:09,428 --> 00:17:10,879
Lay's.
292
00:17:11,994 --> 00:17:14,230
- YouTube!
- YouTube!
293
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:17,202
I tube. We all tube for ice cream.
294
00:17:18,442 --> 00:17:19,598
Hi, I'm Dank.
295
00:17:19,730 --> 00:17:20,832
And I'm Dabby,
296
00:17:20,918 --> 00:17:25,324
and you're watching Dank and Dabby, the
channel by stoners, for stoners...
297
00:17:25,411 --> 00:17:26,545
And by stoners!
298
00:17:27,715 --> 00:17:29,699
This is a very special episode.
299
00:17:29,809 --> 00:17:31,050
Our long-time fans know
300
00:17:31,116 --> 00:17:34,434
what we like to do on this show is
smoke enormous amounts of marijuana.
301
00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:39,292
Yeah. It's a deceptively simple
premise and we got it copyrighted.
302
00:17:40,420 --> 00:17:42,022
But today is different.
303
00:17:42,094 --> 00:17:44,918
Social justice cannot
wait for us to get high.
304
00:17:45,012 --> 00:17:47,474
And I can't wait for
us to get high either.
305
00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:51,600
This nice woman is Ruth
Whitefeather Feldman.
306
00:17:51,678 --> 00:17:55,983
Owner of Ruth's Alternative
Caring and an American hero.
307
00:17:56,208 --> 00:17:59,511
A word that's overused
and I use it constantly.
308
00:18:01,295 --> 00:18:02,373
Yeah.
309
00:18:02,428 --> 00:18:04,943
Ruth is like a real cool
fourth-grade teacher
310
00:18:05,037 --> 00:18:07,686
who cares about you and
uses rap to teach you math.
311
00:18:07,784 --> 00:18:08,881
Yeah.
312
00:18:08,981 --> 00:18:11,317
And also sells you hella pot.
313
00:18:12,936 --> 00:18:16,662
Yesterday, we found out that
Ruth is getting man-hassled...
314
00:18:16,837 --> 00:18:18,076
Massled.
315
00:18:21,467 --> 00:18:22,889
- Yeah.
- Boy...
316
00:18:23,613 --> 00:18:25,215
how do you do that?
317
00:18:26,676 --> 00:18:28,511
It's a gift and a curse, boo.
318
00:18:28,740 --> 00:18:30,409
It's a gurse.
319
00:18:32,544 --> 00:18:33,779
Oh, my God.
320
00:18:34,834 --> 00:18:38,684
Your... Your shit, it's got levels, man.
321
00:18:38,828 --> 00:18:39,975
Yeah, yeah.
322
00:18:42,818 --> 00:18:44,389
It's like a... It's like a cake.
323
00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:46,525
Oh, yeah, a level cake!
324
00:18:46,592 --> 00:18:48,427
- It's like a cake.
- Oh, God.
325
00:18:48,553 --> 00:18:53,699
Okay, okay, so, Ruth
is getting massled...
326
00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:58,137
by some judo dick who says we can't
light up in the parking lot.
327
00:18:58,203 --> 00:19:01,373
Um, hey, asshole, it's legal now.
328
00:19:01,534 --> 00:19:05,771
Ever hear of a little something
called the U.S.S. Constitution?
329
00:19:07,702 --> 00:19:09,404
And it was written on hemp.
330
00:19:09,721 --> 00:19:11,957
George Washington's
quote-unquote "farm."
331
00:19:12,087 --> 00:19:14,589
That motherfucker grew slaves.
332
00:19:17,289 --> 00:19:20,792
Well, we love Ruth, and we
want Ruth to love us back.
333
00:19:21,006 --> 00:19:22,928
So, we made a very detailed plan.
334
00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:24,608
And so...
335
00:19:26,679 --> 00:19:28,006
Shit.
336
00:19:30,364 --> 00:19:31,999
- It's okay. I got it, lover.
- Okay.
337
00:19:33,576 --> 00:19:37,975
Tomorrow night, weed enthusiasts
of all races, religions
338
00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:39,445
and streaming services
339
00:19:39,731 --> 00:19:41,842
shall assemble at the
parking lot outside
340
00:19:41,867 --> 00:19:43,837
of Ruth's Alternative Caring and...
341
00:19:43,964 --> 00:19:47,300
...exercise our right to get high!
342
00:19:47,484 --> 00:19:48,718
Woo!
343
00:19:49,084 --> 00:19:52,891
Where we want, when we
want and how we want!
344
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:55,983
Can I Tase a couple?
345
00:19:56,962 --> 00:19:58,061
- No.
- Please?
346
00:19:58,110 --> 00:19:59,611
Just one white kid with dreadlocks?
347
00:20:01,567 --> 00:20:04,717
- This is really badass.
- This is gonna get ugly.
348
00:20:04,834 --> 00:20:06,335
If only someone we knew had a history of
349
00:20:06,359 --> 00:20:08,553
addressing large crowds
of angry stoners.
350
00:20:09,241 --> 00:20:11,443
Wait a minute, Ruth does.
351
00:20:12,344 --> 00:20:14,701
Can I have your attention, everybody?
352
00:20:16,076 --> 00:20:19,284
Can somebody please turn
off the elevator reggae?
353
00:20:20,967 --> 00:20:22,139
Thank you.
354
00:20:22,233 --> 00:20:24,798
Hi, I'm Ruth Whitefeather Feldman.
355
00:20:25,033 --> 00:20:26,568
Go get them, Ruth!
356
00:20:27,883 --> 00:20:29,751
Maria? What are you doing here?
357
00:20:29,779 --> 00:20:31,170
Hanging with my peeps!
358
00:20:31,679 --> 00:20:33,912
Your peeps are your children.
359
00:20:34,082 --> 00:20:37,585
Not tonight. They're at Mommy
and Me with the nanny!
360
00:20:38,503 --> 00:20:41,178
Okay, you and I are gonna talk later.
361
00:20:41,306 --> 00:20:42,967
One-on-one, okay?
362
00:20:43,275 --> 00:20:44,412
Privately.
363
00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:46,177
As for the rest of you...
364
00:20:46,331 --> 00:20:48,466
nobody loves marijuana more than me.
365
00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:49,631
Woo!
366
00:20:49,722 --> 00:20:51,424
Ever since I was a young woman,
367
00:20:51,717 --> 00:20:54,586
I've made it my mission
to legalize marijuana.
368
00:20:56,152 --> 00:20:57,193
For God's sake.
369
00:20:57,263 --> 00:21:00,800
You don't have to yell "woo"
every time I say "marijuana."
370
00:21:00,953 --> 00:21:02,254
Woo!
371
00:21:02,451 --> 00:21:04,363
All right, fine. I won't anymore.
372
00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:05,561
I will.
373
00:21:05,733 --> 00:21:06,865
Marijuana!
374
00:21:07,026 --> 00:21:08,694
Woo!
375
00:21:08,772 --> 00:21:11,217
Dabby, swear to God, I will
punch you right in the tits.
376
00:21:11,294 --> 00:21:12,553
Oh.
377
00:21:13,108 --> 00:21:14,220
Please, everybody,
378
00:21:14,245 --> 00:21:16,281
I really appreciate your support,
379
00:21:16,438 --> 00:21:20,404
but the thing to do now is go
home before the cops show up.
380
00:21:20,535 --> 00:21:21,724
Too late!
381
00:21:21,803 --> 00:21:23,548
The police are already on their way.
382
00:21:23,826 --> 00:21:25,484
You brought this on yourself, Ruth.
383
00:21:25,550 --> 00:21:28,100
You and all these
degenerate Cheech and...
384
00:21:28,623 --> 00:21:30,625
I'm blanking, the other one.
385
00:21:32,544 --> 00:21:35,842
Uh, Doug, I'm trying to
clear everybody out.
386
00:21:36,037 --> 00:21:37,326
Okay? Just be cool.
387
00:21:37,432 --> 00:21:38,533
I am cool.
388
00:21:38,784 --> 00:21:39,912
You know why?
389
00:21:39,985 --> 00:21:41,467
'Cause I don't take pot.
390
00:21:41,912 --> 00:21:44,287
Pot... is lame.
391
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:50,937
Rosita, there are juice
boxes in Brynn's backpack.
392
00:21:53,288 --> 00:21:56,291
You can insult me all you want...
393
00:21:57,449 --> 00:21:59,851
- when you insult marijuana...
- Woo!
394
00:22:00,324 --> 00:22:01,792
Stop it!
395
00:22:03,522 --> 00:22:04,779
It gets personal.
396
00:22:05,022 --> 00:22:06,691
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
397
00:22:06,938 --> 00:22:08,897
What are you gonna do about it?
398
00:22:09,861 --> 00:22:11,863
Well, I guess there's
nothing I can do about it.
399
00:22:11,930 --> 00:22:13,598
Ha! I thought so.
400
00:22:20,405 --> 00:22:21,773
Holy shit!
401
00:22:42,755 --> 00:22:47,755
synced & corrected by PopcornAWH
www.addic7ed.com
28823
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof