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1
00:00:01,333 --> 00:00:02,335
(Oswald and Lewis)
Ho-ho-ho. Ho-ho-ho.
2
00:00:02,335 --> 00:00:05,087
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho.
3
00:00:05,087 --> 00:00:07,298
Drew, it's me, Oswald.
4
00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:10,510
- And Lewis.
- Heh-heh.
5
00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:11,886
[chuckling]
6
00:00:11,886 --> 00:00:13,805
I know what you're thinking, but
I promise you
7
00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:16,349
we got some great stuff
for your toy drive this year.
8
00:00:16,349 --> 00:00:21,312
I was able to sneak out
DrugCo's new mascot
9
00:00:21,312 --> 00:00:22,939
Little Druggie.
10
00:00:25,650 --> 00:00:27,443
And his pet pony.
11
00:00:27,443 --> 00:00:29,069
I call him my pretty Percodan.
12
00:00:29,069 --> 00:00:31,364
[chuckles]
13
00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:34,116
What, is that from
the train-spotting collection?
14
00:00:34,116 --> 00:00:35,951
Who's gonna want those
for their little kids?
15
00:00:35,951 --> 00:00:38,579
Alright, everyone, I'm ready
to judge this floor's entry
16
00:00:38,579 --> 00:00:40,998
in the Beautify
Your Workstation contest.
17
00:00:40,998 --> 00:00:43,292
(Wick)
'So if you want those
two tickets to the Bahamas'
18
00:00:43,292 --> 00:00:46,546
pucker up, one butt,
no waiting.
19
00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:49,090
Uh, sir, it's not garbage. It's
for our Christmas toy drive.
20
00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:53,010
Yes, I'm well aware.
It is a toy. Kenny Cappy.
21
00:00:53,010 --> 00:00:54,888
Merry Christmas, everyone.
22
00:00:59,308 --> 00:01:01,894
Mr. Wick flipped
over what I did to my counter.
23
00:01:01,894 --> 00:01:03,646
- What did you do?
- I dressed like this.
24
00:01:03,646 --> 00:01:05,272
And danced on it.
25
00:01:05,272 --> 00:01:08,193
I'm getting the trip,
and I made 20 bucks.
26
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:18,869
(Drew)
Nice job with the outfit, Kate.
27
00:01:18,869 --> 00:01:21,331
I'll be thinking about it
while I'm down in the Bahamas
28
00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,291
'cause you're goin' down,
O'Brien.
29
00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:25,000
Goin' down?
Yeah, I'm goin' down.
30
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,044
I'm goin' down
to buy a bathing suit
31
00:01:27,044 --> 00:01:29,172
'cause I'm goin' down
to the Bahamas.
32
00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:30,840
Then we're checking in
to our hotel room
33
00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:32,801
where Oswald's goin'...
34
00:01:35,052 --> 00:01:37,180
I don't know, to get me
a drink or something?
35
00:01:38,973 --> 00:01:41,684
Alright, Mimi,
what grotesque vision of hell
36
00:01:41,684 --> 00:01:44,145
have you brought us this year?
37
00:01:44,145 --> 00:01:47,482
Well, it ain't much,
but I hope you like it.
38
00:01:50,943 --> 00:01:53,654
♪ Hallelujah Hallelujah ♪
39
00:01:53,654 --> 00:01:57,992
♪ Send Mimi to the Bahamas
she really works hard ♪
40
00:01:57,992 --> 00:02:01,162
♪ She has to look at Drew ♪
41
00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:05,290
♪ He's a big pig
he's an eyesore in a swimsuit ♪
42
00:02:05,290 --> 00:02:07,794
♪ He shouldn't get the prize ♪
43
00:02:13,841 --> 00:02:17,511
Wait a second. It's not fair
to use cute, little kids.
44
00:02:17,511 --> 00:02:20,222
♪ Bite us snow boy
bite us snow boy ♪
45
00:02:20,222 --> 00:02:23,268
♪ Bite us snow boy ♪
46
00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:26,354
♪ You dork ♪
47
00:02:28,981 --> 00:02:30,567
Well, Mimi, that's incredible!
48
00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:32,276
You've actually managed
to recreate
49
00:02:32,276 --> 00:02:33,986
the abbey of my childhood.
50
00:02:33,986 --> 00:02:37,406
- Well, I did a little research.
- Yes, apparently, not enough.
51
00:02:37,406 --> 00:02:39,367
I was beaten up
by every choirboy and nun
52
00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:42,662
in the whole stinking place.
You lose.
53
00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:46,707
♪ We wish you hadn't said that
we wish you hadn't said that ♪
54
00:02:46,707 --> 00:02:52,045
♪ We wish you hadn't said that
we know where you live ♪
55
00:02:52,045 --> 00:02:54,298
(Wick)
Alright, Carey,
let's see what you've got.
56
00:02:54,298 --> 00:02:55,842
Well, it's not
adorable little children
57
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,552
desecrating religious music, sir
58
00:02:57,552 --> 00:02:59,596
but, uh,
it's the best I could do.
59
00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:07,604
I can eat everything
in my cubicle.
60
00:03:10,731 --> 00:03:12,483
What's new about that?
61
00:03:13,817 --> 00:03:16,571
Carey, do I dare dream it?
62
00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:19,407
Yes, sir. Peppermint pink slips.
63
00:03:19,407 --> 00:03:21,409
They're made out of rice paper.
Go ahead and try one.
64
00:03:22,618 --> 00:03:25,788
Mm. Melty. Mm.
65
00:03:27,289 --> 00:03:29,416
Minty. Mm-hmm.
66
00:03:29,416 --> 00:03:33,129
Well, sir, I'm the last cubicle.
Time to judge the winner.
67
00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:36,215
Well, I'm very impressed
with your efforts, Carey
68
00:03:36,215 --> 00:03:38,134
but on the other hand
69
00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:40,595
'O'Brien's over there
all tarted up.'
70
00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:44,181
R-rar.
71
00:03:44,181 --> 00:03:46,892
Oh, what the heck? It's a tie.
72
00:03:46,892 --> 00:03:49,312
One ticket for you.
One ticket to you.
73
00:03:51,647 --> 00:03:53,775
Hey, I wanted to take
my boyfriend.
74
00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,234
And I wanted to take Nicki.
75
00:03:55,234 --> 00:03:57,570
I want to give a damn.
76
00:03:57,570 --> 00:04:01,365
No, no, no. No, I do.
I-I really, really do.
77
00:04:01,365 --> 00:04:03,659
But I don't.
78
00:04:03,659 --> 00:04:06,996
Oh-ho, this is beautiful,
I might have lost
79
00:04:06,996 --> 00:04:09,582
but you have to go to the most
romantic place in the world
80
00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:12,752
with your friend. Heh-heh.
81
00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:15,713
♪ You're a dipwad
you're a dipwad ♪
82
00:04:15,713 --> 00:04:20,384
♪ You're a dipwad ♪
♪ Pig ♪
83
00:04:20,384 --> 00:04:27,099
♪ Aah aah aah aah ♪
84
00:04:27,099 --> 00:04:30,228
♪ All this energy callin' me ♪
85
00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:33,355
♪ Back where it comes from ♪
86
00:04:33,355 --> 00:04:36,483
♪ It's such a crude attitude ♪
87
00:04:36,483 --> 00:04:39,403
♪ It's back where it belongs ♪
88
00:04:39,403 --> 00:04:42,698
♪ All the little chicks
with the crimson lips go ♪
89
00:04:42,698 --> 00:04:45,701
♪ Cleveland rocks
Cleveland rocks ♪
90
00:04:45,701 --> 00:04:49,121
♪ She's livin' in sin
with a safety pin going ♪
91
00:04:49,121 --> 00:04:52,499
♪ Cleveland rocks
Cleveland rocks ♪
92
00:04:52,499 --> 00:04:54,460
♪ Cleveland rocks ♪
93
00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:57,964
[echoing]
Ohio!
94
00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:01,009
[instrumental music]
95
00:05:02,676 --> 00:05:04,303
Man, it's freezing out.
It's too cold to play.
96
00:05:04,303 --> 00:05:06,306
No, it's not. Just one game.
97
00:05:15,022 --> 00:05:17,357
- Can we go in now?
- No, no, no, look.
98
00:05:17,357 --> 00:05:18,901
I-I need to talk to you,
listen, I'm.. I-I...
99
00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:20,319
I don't think I should go
to the Bahamas, I'm worried
100
00:05:20,319 --> 00:05:22,363
about being down there
with Kate alone.
101
00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:23,572
Hey, Drew,
this sounds important.
102
00:05:23,572 --> 00:05:25,366
So let me tell you something.
103
00:05:25,366 --> 00:05:28,411
I'm not making a point.
My finger's frozen.
104
00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:31,122
I can't bend it and I can't stop
my hand from shaking.
105
00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:32,956
- Can we go in now?
- No, no, Kate's in there.
106
00:05:32,956 --> 00:05:35,710
- Oh.. Ah.
- Listen, uh, here.
107
00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:37,837
D-don't tell anybody
I told you this, but I think
108
00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:39,589
I'm jealous
of her dating Oswald.
109
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:42,133
Oh, that's gonna come as news
to Oswald.
110
00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:44,510
What are you jealous about?
You got Nicki.
111
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:45,678
I know it's crazy,
but, you know, I've only
112
00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:48,222
known Nicki a few months.
113
00:05:48,222 --> 00:05:50,767
I've been thinking about Kate
almost my whole life.
114
00:05:52,393 --> 00:05:54,144
I know it's crazy.
115
00:05:54,144 --> 00:05:56,229
I used to have this fantasy
that, uh
116
00:05:56,229 --> 00:05:59,275
we were trapped on a deserted
tropical island together.
117
00:05:59,275 --> 00:06:00,651
Well, you know,
not totally deserted.
118
00:06:00,651 --> 00:06:03,028
It had a McDonald's, but...
119
00:06:03,028 --> 00:06:04,822
Come on, Drew,
we've all had fantasies
120
00:06:04,822 --> 00:06:07,366
about the people in our group.
121
00:06:07,366 --> 00:06:09,077
I know I have.
122
00:06:10,661 --> 00:06:12,622
Knock it off.
123
00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:13,998
We-we're gonna be
sharing a room together.
124
00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:15,249
That's a lot of temptation.
125
00:06:15,249 --> 00:06:16,375
You know what this is?
126
00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:18,461
Temptation's trophy case.
127
00:06:21,213 --> 00:06:23,048
I'm just afraid
if I'm down there with her alone
128
00:06:23,048 --> 00:06:25,009
someone's gonna get sad
or something's gonna happen.
129
00:06:25,009 --> 00:06:28,470
It'll screw things up
with me and Nicki or me and Kate
130
00:06:28,470 --> 00:06:31,140
or Oswald and Kate
or me and Oswald.
131
00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:32,642
[blows]
132
00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,477
Okay, I just have one question.
133
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:37,188
Doesn't anyone find me
attractive?
134
00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:38,439
Oh, come on, man,
we've been over this.
135
00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:40,190
You're just growing into
your face.
136
00:06:40,190 --> 00:06:42,609
[laughs]
137
00:06:42,609 --> 00:06:43,819
I guess
the only decent thing to do
138
00:06:43,819 --> 00:06:47,030
is to give the ticket to Oswald.
139
00:06:47,030 --> 00:06:48,282
Why don't you give it to me?
140
00:06:48,282 --> 00:06:49,450
Nothing will happen
between me and Kate
141
00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:51,326
since I'm so hideous.
142
00:06:51,326 --> 00:06:52,370
[grunts]
143
00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:55,497
[blows]
144
00:06:55,497 --> 00:06:56,833
[thuds]
145
00:06:59,251 --> 00:07:00,544
Hey, Oswald,
I thought you were watching
146
00:07:00,544 --> 00:07:01,879
basketball with Kate and Nicki.
147
00:07:01,879 --> 00:07:03,172
I was, they kicked me out
148
00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:05,258
'cause I ask too many questions.
149
00:07:07,759 --> 00:07:09,679
Hey, Lewis, can I be alone
with Oswald for a second?
150
00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:11,055
[gasps]
151
00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:15,143
I'm not offended.
The warm air just hit my lungs.
152
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:22,858
Uh, listen, Oswald,
I kinda wanted to talk to ya.
153
00:07:22,858 --> 00:07:24,526
I was thinking,
I-I'm not the guy
154
00:07:24,526 --> 00:07:25,944
who should be going
to the Bahamas with her.
155
00:07:25,944 --> 00:07:29,490
So, here, you go.
156
00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:32,409
Oh, my God,
I'm going to the Bahamas!
157
00:07:32,409 --> 00:07:34,161
This is the greatest thing
that ever...
158
00:07:34,161 --> 00:07:36,580
Wait a minute.
I know what this is.
159
00:07:36,580 --> 00:07:39,082
You don't think I can take Kate
any place nice on my own.
160
00:07:39,082 --> 00:07:41,168
Do you?
So I'm a charity case, am I?
161
00:07:41,168 --> 00:07:44,004
Well, you can keep
your darn ticket.
162
00:07:44,004 --> 00:07:45,547
- Wait, Oswald, I-I'm just--
- On the other hand...
163
00:07:45,547 --> 00:07:47,925
Maybe this is an opportunity
I'll never have again.
164
00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:49,635
And I never let my pride
stand in the way before.
165
00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:50,970
Bastard!
166
00:07:53,263 --> 00:07:55,140
Look what you've done
to my self-esteem
167
00:07:55,140 --> 00:07:56,767
making me take a pity trip.
168
00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:58,602
Well, you can take
this ticket, mister
169
00:07:58,602 --> 00:08:01,188
and you can put it
where the sun don't shine.
170
00:08:01,188 --> 00:08:04,233
On the other hand, the sun
shines real nice in the Bahamas.
171
00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:05,984
Oh, we don't have time for this.
172
00:08:05,984 --> 00:08:07,861
Oh, wait a minute.
I can't go anyway.
173
00:08:07,861 --> 00:08:09,947
I have to work tomorrow.
Thanks for the offer, man.
174
00:08:12,574 --> 00:08:15,244
Hey, uh, Kate.
175
00:08:15,244 --> 00:08:17,454
I tried to give, uh,
my ticket to Oswald
176
00:08:17,454 --> 00:08:19,582
but he's gotta work.
177
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,958
So, uh, I was thinking,
why don't you just
178
00:08:21,958 --> 00:08:24,920
give me your ticket
and I can take Nicki?
179
00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:26,672
- Uh--
- Oh, no.
180
00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:29,842
Drew, uh, I'd love to go,
but I-I got a house to show.
181
00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:34,388
Plus, uh, I feel too fat to get
in a bathing suit right now.
182
00:08:34,388 --> 00:08:36,723
Aw, come on, honey.
We've been through this already.
183
00:08:36,723 --> 00:08:39,643
You're not fat. You're just
at your winter weight.
184
00:08:39,643 --> 00:08:41,020
[chuckles]
185
00:08:42,521 --> 00:08:44,565
Drew, if you think that
I'm gonna lose 15 pounds
186
00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:46,150
just so you can go
to the Bahamas...
187
00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:47,234
Alright, alright, it's al...
188
00:08:47,234 --> 00:08:49,278
[oven timer beeps]
189
00:08:50,404 --> 00:08:53,366
Now let me go get my biscuits.
190
00:08:54,742 --> 00:08:56,494
You got a problem with that?
191
00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:03,084
Hey, look, if I can be
big and sexy, you could be...
192
00:09:06,545 --> 00:09:09,256
Look, Drew, it was really sweet
193
00:09:09,256 --> 00:09:11,175
you trying to give the ticket
to Oswald
194
00:09:11,175 --> 00:09:13,218
but you and I are gonna have
a great time
195
00:09:13,218 --> 00:09:15,179
doing stuff alone together.
196
00:09:15,179 --> 00:09:17,097
We haven't done that for years.
197
00:09:17,097 --> 00:09:20,058
Look, uh, I gotta warn you,
I snore.
198
00:09:20,058 --> 00:09:21,978
Upstairs and down.
199
00:09:27,399 --> 00:09:30,319
I can't think of anyone
I'd rather go with.
200
00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:33,114
[Lewis clearing throat]
201
00:09:34,948 --> 00:09:38,661
Oh, I'm sorry. Ugly people have
to clear their throat a lot.
202
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,955
[instrumental music]
203
00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:43,583
[aircraft droning]
204
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:48,295
[sobbing]
205
00:09:48,295 --> 00:09:49,672
- You okay now?
- Yeah.
206
00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:52,382
But I surely do miss
my Katie bear.
207
00:09:52,382 --> 00:09:53,968
[sniffles]
208
00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:56,887
I kept a little something
to remind me of her.
209
00:09:56,887 --> 00:09:59,223
It's the handle to her luggage.
210
00:09:59,223 --> 00:10:03,269
[sniffs]
Still smells
like her hand cream.
211
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,896
Hey, I was the one carrying it.
212
00:10:11,568 --> 00:10:14,238
Well, it's nice of Drew
to finally let us use his house.
213
00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:16,240
Yeah, it's about time he started
treating us like adults.
214
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,743
I know.
215
00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:21,453
So what do you wanna do first,
dodgeball or king of the couch?
216
00:10:21,453 --> 00:10:23,497
- Dodgeball. You're it.
- Hey, wait a second.
217
00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:25,374
Think for a minute.
218
00:10:25,374 --> 00:10:27,835
- Oh, nice try.
- Oh!
219
00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:31,047
[laughing]
No, there's a lot
of fragile stuff in here.
220
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:33,090
If we play dodgeball,
we might break something.
221
00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:35,675
- Oh, okay, let's go outside.
- No, we should play inside.
222
00:10:35,675 --> 00:10:37,011
But we should take
all the breakables
223
00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:38,762
and put them in one big box.
224
00:10:38,762 --> 00:10:40,430
Good thinking.
225
00:10:40,430 --> 00:10:43,183
Uh, breakable,
breakable, breakable.
226
00:10:43,183 --> 00:10:45,227
- Ooh.
- Oh...
227
00:10:45,227 --> 00:10:47,688
Wait, wait, wait. This is crazy.
228
00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:49,565
If we play in here, we might
just break one or two things
229
00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:51,233
but if we put everything
in the box
230
00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:54,737
and something happens
to the box, we break everything.
231
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:57,740
You're just jealous
'cause it was my idea.
232
00:10:59,783 --> 00:11:02,828
- Alright, I admit it.
- Alright.
233
00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:05,789
Breakable, breakable. Hey, wait
a minute. Here's a question.
234
00:11:05,789 --> 00:11:07,666
- What do we do with the box?
- Just put it in the basement.
235
00:11:07,666 --> 00:11:10,460
- No. Stairway's too narrow.
- No, stupid.
236
00:11:10,460 --> 00:11:13,172
I'll slide it down the banister,
you try to catch it.
237
00:11:14,882 --> 00:11:17,384
- Oh, okay.
- Alright.
238
00:11:17,384 --> 00:11:18,969
Oh, oh, oh,
wait a minute, wait a minute.
239
00:11:18,969 --> 00:11:20,595
It's too damp in the basement.
240
00:11:20,595 --> 00:11:22,556
- The closet?
- Great! Oh, no.
241
00:11:22,556 --> 00:11:24,808
Then where's our clubhouse?
242
00:11:24,808 --> 00:11:27,477
What are we gonna do with it?
It's ruining our lives!
243
00:11:27,477 --> 00:11:29,188
Man, all this pressure.
244
00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:30,814
If Drew didn't think he could
handle himself with Kate
245
00:11:30,814 --> 00:11:32,524
why didn't he just stay home?
246
00:11:32,524 --> 00:11:34,318
[glass shattering]
247
00:11:37,112 --> 00:11:38,656
What do you wanna deal with
first?
248
00:11:41,408 --> 00:11:44,536
The thing with Drew. What
the hell are you talking about?
249
00:11:44,536 --> 00:11:45,871
Look, it's all,
it's just all these
250
00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:47,873
silly ideas
he has in his head. He...
251
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:49,958
He's got all these
unresolved feelings about Kate
252
00:11:49,958 --> 00:11:52,711
and all these fantasies about
being on a deserted island.
253
00:11:52,711 --> 00:11:55,380
I could tell you not to do
anything stupid, but I'm ki...
254
00:11:55,380 --> 00:11:56,632
[door shuts]
255
00:11:59,676 --> 00:12:02,054
Looks like all the beautiful
people are heading for trouble.
256
00:12:03,221 --> 00:12:05,558
[instrumental music]
257
00:12:07,184 --> 00:12:09,061
[instrumental music]
258
00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:11,313
Boy, if I ever get my hands
on the baggage guy
259
00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:13,148
who pulled off my handle...
260
00:12:13,148 --> 00:12:14,316
[thuds]
261
00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:16,193
Wow, look at the ocean!
262
00:12:17,277 --> 00:12:20,406
Wow, look at the one bed.
263
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:23,117
Hey, we've slept
in the same bed before.
264
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:25,494
Yeah, when we were ten.
265
00:12:25,494 --> 00:12:27,997
You wanna quit jumping
up and down the bed like that?
266
00:12:29,956 --> 00:12:33,002
You're right. What am I doing
cooped up in this room?
267
00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:35,087
- Let's go down to the pool.
- Hey, what are you doing?
268
00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:38,548
- Taking my clothes off.
- Oh, G.. Don't do that!
269
00:12:38,548 --> 00:12:41,593
Drew, I wore my suit
under my clothes.
270
00:12:41,593 --> 00:12:44,930
Oh, phew.
I'm sorry I'm a big goof.
271
00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:45,973
Ooh!
272
00:12:47,891 --> 00:12:50,602
Drew, get your trunks on,
so we can go down to the pool.
273
00:12:50,602 --> 00:12:52,188
Uh, no, I'm gonna stay here.
I'm gonna...
274
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:55,065
I'm kinda wiped out from the,
uh, from the time change.
275
00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:59,403
Drew, there's no time change.
276
00:12:59,403 --> 00:13:03,115
Hey, I had six beers on the
airplane. There's a time change.
277
00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:07,369
Come on down.
278
00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:10,581
Look how tense you are
from work.
279
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:13,291
Did I tell you
that I'm really glad I came?
280
00:13:13,291 --> 00:13:15,919
I have more fun with you
than with anyone else.
281
00:13:15,919 --> 00:13:17,838
Oh, get up, my leg's asleep,
my leg's asleep.
282
00:13:25,929 --> 00:13:28,307
- I'll rub it for you.
- It's awake. It's awake.
283
00:13:32,185 --> 00:13:35,939
We're in this map, Damien.
We're somewhere over Miami.
284
00:13:35,939 --> 00:13:37,482
[exhales sharply]
Huh? Oh.
285
00:13:37,482 --> 00:13:40,527
I don't know what to think,
Damien.
286
00:13:40,527 --> 00:13:42,279
I've never done
anything like this before
287
00:13:42,279 --> 00:13:44,406
but Kate and I were friends,
and we fell in love.
288
00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:47,034
It happened once,
it could happen again, right?
289
00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:49,202
God, if anything is happening...
290
00:13:49,202 --> 00:13:53,081
I gotta stop thinking about
this, or I'm gonna go crazy.
291
00:13:53,081 --> 00:13:56,961
Well, if I could do that,
then I could relax.
292
00:13:57,919 --> 00:14:00,214
[instrumental music]
293
00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:02,716
So now aren't you glad
we went down to the pool?
294
00:14:02,716 --> 00:14:04,801
We were the most popular people
there.
295
00:14:04,801 --> 00:14:06,136
Hey, did you like
when I had the cabana boy
296
00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:08,388
drop fish sticks into my mouth?
297
00:14:08,388 --> 00:14:10,933
It was very cute when you slid
out of the water on your belly
298
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,768
and let that little kid
pet your tongue.
299
00:14:12,768 --> 00:14:14,478
Yeah.
300
00:14:14,478 --> 00:14:16,396
God, I knew it!
301
00:14:16,396 --> 00:14:18,107
The pop bottles
I brought from home to replace
302
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:20,776
the minibar bottles are too big!
303
00:14:20,776 --> 00:14:22,861
[knocking on door]
Oh, crap!
304
00:14:22,861 --> 00:14:24,362
It's the honor bar police.
305
00:14:24,362 --> 00:14:25,406
[bottles clinking]
306
00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:26,490
[drawer shuts]
307
00:14:28,116 --> 00:14:30,869
- Ah.
- Ah. Room service.
308
00:14:30,869 --> 00:14:32,413
Uh, we didn't order anything.
309
00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:35,040
Oh, caviar and creme fraiche
310
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,792
for the honeymoon couple.
311
00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:38,918
Compliments of the hotel.
312
00:14:38,918 --> 00:14:40,587
Oh, free food
for honeymoon couples.
313
00:14:40,587 --> 00:14:42,464
Honey, we should have gotten
married a long time ago.
314
00:14:42,464 --> 00:14:44,800
- Yeah. Ah...
- Uh, while I'm here...
315
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,384
Can I check your honor bar?
316
00:14:46,384 --> 00:14:48,470
Hey, what the hell does
honor bar mean, huh
317
00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:51,640
if you have to check up
on a guy?
318
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:54,142
What happened to honesty? What,
uh, what happened to trust?
319
00:14:54,142 --> 00:14:56,936
[chuckles]
Well, they're probably
in your suitcase with our towels
320
00:14:56,936 --> 00:15:01,734
and the, uh, one, two,
three, four ashtrays.
321
00:15:06,529 --> 00:15:08,949
(Kate)
You know what, Drew?
322
00:15:08,949 --> 00:15:11,869
I think we should do this
every year.
323
00:15:12,786 --> 00:15:15,580
Yeah. I'd like that.
324
00:15:15,580 --> 00:15:18,584
[birds chirping]
325
00:15:20,961 --> 00:15:23,255
Wow, we are so close to the
ocean, we can hear the birds.
326
00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:24,381
It's almost like
they're right in our room.
327
00:15:24,381 --> 00:15:25,424
[birds squawking]
328
00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:27,467
Oh, my God!
329
00:15:27,467 --> 00:15:30,011
Those birds are all gonna
come in here! Close the door.
330
00:15:30,011 --> 00:15:32,347
I'm not going over there
with all those birds.
331
00:15:32,347 --> 00:15:34,307
I think they just want the food.
Give them the food.
332
00:15:34,307 --> 00:15:35,434
I'm not giving them food.
333
00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:37,644
[both screaming]
334
00:15:37,644 --> 00:15:40,355
- Oh, God!
- I don't believe this!
335
00:15:40,355 --> 00:15:42,024
Someone's in here!
336
00:15:43,525 --> 00:15:45,778
We gotta call someone
or something.
337
00:15:47,571 --> 00:15:49,531
Yeah, hi,
this is Drew Carey in 107.
338
00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:53,284
Yeah, I got a bunch of birds
flapping around in my room.
339
00:15:53,284 --> 00:15:55,662
Yeah, well, it may be part
of the charm of the Bahamas
340
00:15:55,662 --> 00:15:57,372
but they're freaking us out.
341
00:15:57,372 --> 00:16:00,041
Can you send someone up here
to get rid of 'em? Thanks.
342
00:16:00,041 --> 00:16:01,918
Oh, oh, and hurry up, 'cause I
343
00:16:01,918 --> 00:16:03,461
I think they're getting
into the honor bar.
344
00:16:03,461 --> 00:16:04,588
[mouthing]
345
00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:08,509
Uh-huh.
346
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,719
Well, if we're gonna be here
a while
347
00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:13,513
I might as well
make myself comfortable.
348
00:16:13,513 --> 00:16:15,932
This is perfect.
349
00:16:15,932 --> 00:16:19,185
We're in the Bahamas,
and we're stuck in the bathroom.
350
00:16:19,185 --> 00:16:20,520
Hey, you wanna hear the ocean?
351
00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:22,815
[toilet flushes]
352
00:16:25,191 --> 00:16:27,944
- Drew.
- Hm.
353
00:16:27,944 --> 00:16:31,031
I don't know
about Oswald and me.
354
00:16:33,950 --> 00:16:36,453
76, 78.
355
00:16:36,453 --> 00:16:38,246
I don't know what I'm gonna do
when I see him.
356
00:16:38,246 --> 00:16:40,957
I might have to kill him
or kill myself.
357
00:16:40,957 --> 00:16:43,293
Is that romantic or pathetic?
358
00:16:43,293 --> 00:16:45,920
Hey, okay. Goodnight.
359
00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:47,297
Hey, 79.
360
00:16:47,297 --> 00:16:48,882
If you were on a jury
and I killed somebody
361
00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:51,927
what would you do?
Where are you going? Hey!
362
00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:53,928
I thought you were crazy
about Oswald. I mean...
363
00:16:53,928 --> 00:16:55,597
When did you start feeling
this way?
364
00:16:55,597 --> 00:16:57,015
I thought you guys
were getting along great.
365
00:16:57,015 --> 00:16:59,351
You know, I'm-I'm shocked.
366
00:16:59,351 --> 00:17:01,853
We are, but getting along great
is one thing.
367
00:17:01,853 --> 00:17:04,940
How do I know
if he's the right person?
368
00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:06,399
Uh, Kate, let me tell you
something I've learned
369
00:17:06,399 --> 00:17:08,318
about relationships.
370
00:17:09,486 --> 00:17:10,779
Okay, anymore questions?
371
00:17:10,779 --> 00:17:12,031
[laughs]
372
00:17:13,823 --> 00:17:17,285
You don't give yourself enough
credit. You're great with women.
373
00:17:17,285 --> 00:17:19,871
I just don't know
about Oswald and me.
374
00:17:19,871 --> 00:17:22,207
I'm at the age
where if I'm in a relationship
375
00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:25,711
and it's not heading towards
marriage, I've gotta let it go.
376
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:28,547
I guess what I'm saying is
377
00:17:28,547 --> 00:17:32,175
is Oswald the guy
or was he just there?
378
00:17:32,175 --> 00:17:35,386
Well, you know, there's a lot
of guys who were there.
379
00:17:35,386 --> 00:17:38,015
I know. Maybe that's what's
bothering me.
380
00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:42,352
Maybe I need someone who I can
talk to like I'm talking to you.
381
00:17:42,352 --> 00:17:45,189
But you, you picked Oswald.
382
00:17:45,897 --> 00:17:47,149
Yeah.
383
00:17:48,733 --> 00:17:51,152
Okay...
384
00:17:51,152 --> 00:17:52,529
I-I wanna tell you something
I should have told you
385
00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:54,073
a long time ago.
386
00:17:57,826 --> 00:17:59,078
[exhales sharply]
387
00:18:00,704 --> 00:18:03,665
Ever since
we were seven years old...
388
00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:05,292
[sighs]
389
00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:07,627
...Oswald knew you were the one.
390
00:18:07,627 --> 00:18:10,713
- He did?
- Yeah.
391
00:18:10,713 --> 00:18:13,842
He always thought, said
392
00:18:13,842 --> 00:18:16,637
that you were the prettiest
and the sweetest
393
00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:18,930
and the easiest
to get along with.
394
00:18:18,930 --> 00:18:21,516
And he even had this crazy dream
that one day you would, uh
395
00:18:21,516 --> 00:18:24,269
live on a deserted island
with him that had a McDonald's.
396
00:18:25,937 --> 00:18:26,939
Wow!
397
00:18:28,773 --> 00:18:31,276
How could you not
love a guy like that?
398
00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:34,988
Thanks, Drew.
399
00:18:34,988 --> 00:18:36,406
[knocking on door]
400
00:18:36,406 --> 00:18:38,617
(male #1)
'My eyes! My-my eyes!'
401
00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:40,285
Oh, my God.
402
00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:41,953
My eyes! My eyes!
403
00:18:41,953 --> 00:18:43,163
[gasping]
404
00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:45,123
[laughing]
405
00:18:45,123 --> 00:18:47,376
Just a little island humor.
Ha-ha...
406
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:49,752
Look, um, just about got
all the birds out
407
00:18:49,752 --> 00:18:51,713
and I'll be done in a second.
408
00:18:53,923 --> 00:18:56,092
[door shuts]
409
00:18:56,092 --> 00:19:00,305
Hey, Drew, you said that Oswald
felt this way since he was seven
410
00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:02,682
but I've only known him
since he was ten.
411
00:19:02,682 --> 00:19:05,393
I've known you
since I was seven.
412
00:19:05,393 --> 00:19:07,729
[gasps]
Oh, yeah, yeah,
that's right, he was ten
413
00:19:07,729 --> 00:19:10,440
but his, his mom told me he was
seven to make him seem smarter.
414
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:11,608
Oh.
415
00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:16,988
Excuse me. Is this the, uh,
Carey-O'Brien room?
416
00:19:16,988 --> 00:19:19,699
Uh, yeah, but you don't wanna
go in there.
417
00:19:19,699 --> 00:19:22,160
- Why not?
- Uh, they went wild!
418
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:24,913
Look what them animals
did to my pillow cases.
419
00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:27,165
Oh, my God,
they tore up the pillows?
420
00:19:27,165 --> 00:19:29,667
Yeah, them some
bold, little devils, too.
421
00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:32,796
I walked in there
and they just strutting around--
422
00:19:32,796 --> 00:19:34,422
Oh...
423
00:19:34,422 --> 00:19:38,260
And crappin'
all over the floor.
424
00:19:42,847 --> 00:19:44,974
We're not talking about
people anymore, are we?
425
00:19:44,974 --> 00:19:46,893
Oh, no, we're talking
about the birds
426
00:19:46,893 --> 00:19:49,021
that got in here
and made this mess.
427
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:51,023
Uh-huh. Oh.
428
00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:55,777
Oswald?
429
00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:57,779
What the, the heck
are you doing here?
430
00:19:57,779 --> 00:20:01,491
You got all the questions,
don't you, Mr. Carey?
431
00:20:01,491 --> 00:20:03,618
How about some answers?
I talked to Lewis.
432
00:20:03,618 --> 00:20:05,328
What's going on
between you and Kate?
433
00:20:05,328 --> 00:20:08,706
Wait, wait a second, you came
all the way down to the Bahamas.
434
00:20:08,706 --> 00:20:10,667
You thought something was
going on between me and Kate?
435
00:20:10,667 --> 00:20:12,293
Alright,
I got three questions for you
436
00:20:12,293 --> 00:20:13,837
and I want you
to answer them honestly.
437
00:20:13,837 --> 00:20:15,297
Yeah, sure.
438
00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:17,548
- Did you have sex?
- No.
439
00:20:17,548 --> 00:20:19,259
- Really? Really?
- Yes. Yes!
440
00:20:19,259 --> 00:20:21,178
Okay, that's three.
Thanks, man.
441
00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:23,222
[mumbling]
442
00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:28,893
Okay, listen, take this key,
you're gonna go in there
443
00:20:28,893 --> 00:20:30,604
and you're gonna have
a romantic evening with Kate.
444
00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:32,647
We'll tell her it was a surprise
we've been planning all along.
445
00:20:32,647 --> 00:20:35,275
- You mean it?
- Yeah.
446
00:20:35,275 --> 00:20:37,903
Oh, my God, that's the nicest...
447
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:41,031
Wait a minute, I know
what you're trying to do.
448
00:20:42,532 --> 00:20:44,284
You ran up
a huge room-service tab
449
00:20:44,284 --> 00:20:45,744
and you wanna stick it to me.
450
00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:47,913
Well, of all the lousy...
451
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:50,456
On the other hand,
I did come down here for free.
452
00:20:50,456 --> 00:20:52,250
It's 80 degrees and
you're going back to Cleveland
453
00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:53,751
where it's ten-below.
454
00:20:53,751 --> 00:20:55,587
Wait a minute, I just read
an article that said
455
00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:57,255
that people in colder climates
live longer.
456
00:20:57,255 --> 00:20:58,966
So now you're trying to kill me!
457
00:21:01,467 --> 00:21:03,470
Killing me with kindness.
Thanks, bud.
458
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:08,724
Hey, uh, listen, I'm gonna
have a little time on my hands.
459
00:21:08,724 --> 00:21:11,436
I heard there was a nude beach
around here. Is that true?
460
00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:14,773
Oh, will you be watchin'
or joinin' in?
461
00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:17,276
I was thinking of joinin' in,
you know?
462
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:19,278
No, man.
463
00:21:20,403 --> 00:21:21,989
[instrumental music]
464
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,780
(man on TV)
'We now conclude our broadcast day.'
465
00:21:24,850 --> 00:21:26,450
'Please enjoy the
Winfred Louder Boys chorus'
466
00:21:26,510 --> 00:21:29,250
'conducted by Miss Mimi Bobeck.'
467
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:31,930
♪ Drew Carey is a geek ♪
468
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,000
♪ He sleeps alone at night ♪
469
00:21:34,070 --> 00:21:36,000
♪ Because he can't stop eating ♪
470
00:21:36,070 --> 00:21:38,000
♪ Everything in sight ♪
471
00:21:38,070 --> 00:21:39,890
♪ He has a nowhere job ♪
472
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:41,830
♪ He'll never get ahead ♪
473
00:21:41,900 --> 00:21:45,130
♪ And we've seen better hygiene
on a horse named Mr. Ed ♪
474
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:47,530
♪ Oh bite me pig
bite me pig ♪
475
00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:49,570
♪ Bite me all the way ♪
476
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:52,510
♪ You're a big fat doughboy
and that's all I have to say ♪
477
00:21:52,570 --> 00:21:54,070
♪ Hey ♪
478
00:21:57,815 --> 00:22:00,485
[instrumental music]
33955
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