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1
00:00:00,791 --> 00:00:03,086
[instrumental music]
2
00:00:04,295 --> 00:00:06,589
Everybody, we just
got out of jail.
3
00:00:06,589 --> 00:00:07,757
[all cheering]
4
00:00:09,425 --> 00:00:10,468
[mumbles]
Huh?
5
00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:12,011
No, keep your money, buddy.
6
00:00:12,011 --> 00:00:14,681
Listen, we weren't arrested
for selling drugs.
7
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:15,973
But Drew was!
8
00:00:15,973 --> 00:00:17,100
(all)
Oh!
9
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:18,393
But he is innocent.
10
00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:19,936
(all)
Yeah.
11
00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:22,188
He's a victim
of the damn system.
12
00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:23,356
(all)
Boo!
13
00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:24,940
But God bless America!
14
00:00:24,940 --> 00:00:26,775
(all)
Yay!
15
00:00:26,775 --> 00:00:28,737
So you people will cheer
at pretty much anything...
16
00:00:30,738 --> 00:00:32,323
...as long as I do this!
17
00:00:32,323 --> 00:00:33,700
[cheering]
18
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:35,368
Okay. Good to know.
19
00:00:39,246 --> 00:00:42,500
Haa, the sweet smell of freedom.
20
00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:44,711
MyGod, I need a woman!
21
00:00:46,545 --> 00:00:49,132
Lewis, you were in jail
for three hours.
22
00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:52,969
And you weren't with a woman
for six months before that.
23
00:00:52,969 --> 00:00:55,721
MyGod, am I a loser?
24
00:00:55,721 --> 00:00:58,057
Cheer up, buddy.
25
00:00:58,057 --> 00:01:01,393
Hey, how many people here
think Lewis is desirable?
26
00:01:01,393 --> 00:01:03,312
[cheering]
27
00:01:03,312 --> 00:01:05,565
You're the best
friend ever, buddy.
28
00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:07,441
Or is he just a jerk?
29
00:01:07,441 --> 00:01:09,277
[cheering]
30
00:01:09,277 --> 00:01:11,237
You know what, I can't figure
out, how did you not know
31
00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:13,031
Larry was selling drugs
out of his house?
32
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:16,117
Why don't you ask him? He was
bailin' himself out when I left.
33
00:01:16,117 --> 00:01:19,245
Hello? Guys, it's Drew.
34
00:01:19,245 --> 00:01:20,246
'What?'
35
00:01:21,330 --> 00:01:23,124
I can't understand you.
36
00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:24,292
Well, stop crying.
37
00:01:26,961 --> 00:01:30,381
Drew, maxed out his credit card.
He is $500 short of bail.
38
00:01:31,632 --> 00:01:32,842
Well, I bet somebody's sorry
39
00:01:32,842 --> 00:01:35,302
he bought that new whole
bratwurst machine.
40
00:01:35,302 --> 00:01:36,762
Hmm.
41
00:01:36,762 --> 00:01:38,348
Alright, we'll be right there.
42
00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:44,020
Drew needs $500,
where we gonna get it?
43
00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:45,646
Hey, you kiddin',
we are among his friends here
44
00:01:45,646 --> 00:01:47,398
this is his second home.
45
00:01:47,398 --> 00:01:51,527
Hey, everybody, we need to raise
$500 to bail Drew out of jail.
46
00:01:51,527 --> 00:01:54,322
That's ten bucks a person.
Whose with me?
47
00:01:56,824 --> 00:01:58,868
Who's in now?
48
00:02:03,414 --> 00:02:05,250
Alright, ten bucks to hear
49
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:07,335
about the night I spent
in women's prison.
50
00:02:10,546 --> 00:02:11,505
[theme song]
51
00:02:11,505 --> 00:02:15,260
♪ Ahh ahh ahh ♪
52
00:02:17,261 --> 00:02:20,264
♪ All this energy callin' me ♪
53
00:02:20,264 --> 00:02:23,309
♪ Back where it comes from ♪
54
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:26,563
♪ It's such a crude attitude ♪
55
00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:29,481
♪ It's back where it belongs ♪
56
00:02:29,481 --> 00:02:32,526
♪ All the little chicks
with the crimson lips go ♪
57
00:02:32,526 --> 00:02:36,197
♪ Cleveland rocks ♪
58
00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:39,533
♪ Livin' in sin
with a safety pin go ♪
59
00:02:39,533 --> 00:02:45,623
♪ Cleveland rocks ♪
♪ Cleveland rocks ♪
60
00:02:45,623 --> 00:02:51,921
♪ Cleveland rocks ♪
61
00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:54,632
[echoing]
Ohio!
62
00:02:56,884 --> 00:02:58,720
[instrumental music]
63
00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:04,225
Yeah, come in.
64
00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:05,768
You know, I don't understand
why just couldn't
65
00:03:05,768 --> 00:03:07,603
I came here and got
my stuff on my own.
66
00:03:07,603 --> 00:03:09,188
Hey, you might be out on bail
67
00:03:09,188 --> 00:03:11,315
but your house
is considered evidence.
68
00:03:11,315 --> 00:03:12,650
You got ten minutes
to get your things
69
00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:14,110
and vacate the crime scene.
70
00:03:14,110 --> 00:03:15,736
"Crime scene"! The guy
that was living with me
71
00:03:15,736 --> 00:03:18,239
sold drugs, I didn't. Do I look
like a drug dealer to you?
72
00:03:18,239 --> 00:03:20,116
Yeah, yeah, is that
the suit of a drug runner?
73
00:03:20,116 --> 00:03:23,328
Or a guy who's done
any sort of running at all?
74
00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:29,500
Yeah, yeah, everyone's a saint.
75
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:32,044
Hey... what's this?
76
00:03:32,044 --> 00:03:33,504
It's powdered sugar.
77
00:03:33,504 --> 00:03:35,340
Sometimes I eat donuts
in front of the TV.
78
00:03:37,424 --> 00:03:39,176
With no plate?
79
00:03:39,176 --> 00:03:40,762
Hey, they're not
there that long.
80
00:03:43,263 --> 00:03:44,766
Come on, pal, you know
how many donuts
81
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:47,768
you'd have to eat to build up
this much powder?
82
00:03:47,768 --> 00:03:50,229
Ahh, it's sugar.
83
00:03:50,229 --> 00:03:53,106
[telephone rings]
84
00:03:53,106 --> 00:03:56,819
Crime scene, you are talking
to a federal marshal.
85
00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:58,738
Uh-huh!.
86
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:01,115
Hold on, he's right here.
87
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,243
It's mom.
88
00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:07,663
Hi, mom.
89
00:04:07,663 --> 00:04:10,207
Big drug bust at the house.
90
00:04:10,207 --> 00:04:12,835
I don't know. Kinda.
91
00:04:12,835 --> 00:04:14,629
Look, it's all
a big mistake. It's...
92
00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:15,880
Huh?
93
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:17,715
Yeah, he is right here.
94
00:04:17,715 --> 00:04:18,758
She wants to talk
to you again.
95
00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:22,428
Uh-huh.
96
00:04:23,095 --> 00:04:25,264
Uh-huh.
97
00:04:25,264 --> 00:04:26,307
Okay.
98
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:31,437
Alright then.
99
00:04:33,272 --> 00:04:34,399
Okay.
100
00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:35,441
Here you go.
101
00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:37,068
But, mom!
102
00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:38,903
Look, I gotta go, mom.
103
00:04:38,903 --> 00:04:41,488
No, I don't have time to talk
to dad. I don't have time to...
104
00:04:41,488 --> 00:04:43,491
Hi, dad.
105
00:04:43,491 --> 00:04:45,910
Yeah, it's running fine.
106
00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:47,078
Fine.
107
00:04:48,370 --> 00:04:50,581
Hello, it's your new neighbors.
108
00:04:50,581 --> 00:04:53,333
Sorry to just barge in,
but the door was open.
109
00:04:53,333 --> 00:04:57,088
And we saw the cop car outside,
so we assumed you're home.
110
00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:59,172
Hi, I'm Drew. I guess, I didn't
get a chance to meet you all.
111
00:04:59,172 --> 00:05:02,968
I was being arrested and... this
is the federal marshal.
112
00:05:02,968 --> 00:05:04,136
I am Janet and this is Greg.
113
00:05:04,136 --> 00:05:05,137
- Hi.
- Hi, Drew.
114
00:05:05,137 --> 00:05:06,139
And you weren't home so they
115
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,598
dropped this at our door.
116
00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:09,642
Excuse me. I'm gonna have
to take a look at that.
117
00:05:14,354 --> 00:05:16,315
Oh, a professional scale.
118
00:05:16,315 --> 00:05:18,275
Gee, I wonder why
you need this for?
119
00:05:18,275 --> 00:05:20,361
It's for a big lawsuit
I'm putting together.
120
00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:22,363
I intend to prove
that a "Quarter Pounder"
121
00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:24,824
does not weight
a quarter pound.
122
00:05:30,246 --> 00:05:31,956
You know that's
pre-cooked weight.
123
00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:33,374
Yeah, but I...
124
00:05:36,418 --> 00:05:37,378
Bye.
125
00:05:38,587 --> 00:05:39,797
[toilet flushes]
126
00:05:42,049 --> 00:05:45,261
Hey, what were you doin' in
there? Ditching evidence?
127
00:05:45,261 --> 00:05:46,596
If that's what
you wanna call it.
128
00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:51,017
[instrumental music]
129
00:05:52,268 --> 00:05:54,019
Here we are, home sweet home.
130
00:05:54,019 --> 00:05:57,314
You are gonna love
living above a bar.
131
00:05:57,314 --> 00:05:59,775
I really like what you
and Oswald have...
132
00:05:59,775 --> 00:06:01,819
Have you done anything
to this place?
133
00:06:01,819 --> 00:06:04,029
Hey, it used to just be
a stalk room above the Warsaw
134
00:06:04,029 --> 00:06:07,450
but now it's a ladies
only Eurotrash disco.
135
00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:11,120
Well, that's what
our sign downstairs says.
136
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:12,747
Yeah, well, Oswald isn't
gonna need that sign anymore
137
00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:14,415
now that
he's dating Kate.
138
00:06:14,415 --> 00:06:16,583
But that's gonna take some kinda
getting used to.
139
00:06:16,583 --> 00:06:19,378
I don't know. There's something
almost, uh, incestuous about it.
140
00:06:19,378 --> 00:06:21,672
Yeah, like if my dad
would have dated my...
141
00:06:21,672 --> 00:06:22,965
...I don't know,
my mom or something.
142
00:06:25,509 --> 00:06:26,593
You guys out of beer?
143
00:06:26,593 --> 00:06:27,845
Oh, we don't keep it in there.
144
00:06:30,514 --> 00:06:32,934
Hey, Tim, two Buzz beers!
145
00:06:38,272 --> 00:06:39,565
Every time I do that
146
00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:42,818
I feel like I've made a deal
with the devil.
147
00:06:42,818 --> 00:06:44,695
Hey, uh, are you sure
there's not some
148
00:06:44,695 --> 00:06:46,488
sort of health regulation
about having dogs up here?
149
00:06:46,488 --> 00:06:49,033
Oh, no, it's okay. As long as
we keep him out of the bar.
150
00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:51,702
Hey, Speedy, you want
some pickle water, boy?
151
00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:53,662
Here you go.
152
00:06:53,662 --> 00:06:55,622
Oh, oh, oh.
Don't eat 'em.
153
00:06:55,622 --> 00:06:57,041
Those are for the
paying customers.
154
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:01,295
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
155
00:07:01,295 --> 00:07:03,922
Oh, hi.
156
00:07:03,922 --> 00:07:05,341
How you doin', Drew?
157
00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:07,134
Fine.
158
00:07:07,134 --> 00:07:09,220
I was just worried,
'cause you were kind of quiet
159
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:10,221
in the paddy wagon.
160
00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:13,349
Oh, you think I'm upset
161
00:07:13,349 --> 00:07:14,934
about you and Oswald
dating each other.
162
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:17,436
No, hey, if you're happy,
I'm happy, no problem.
163
00:07:17,436 --> 00:07:20,397
Hey, have a pickle.
164
00:07:20,397 --> 00:07:22,775
- No, thanks.
- I'll have one.
165
00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:24,735
I'm just glad we got the whole
dating thing out in the open
166
00:07:24,735 --> 00:07:27,196
'cause... keeping it a secret
the last month's been a killer.
167
00:07:27,196 --> 00:07:28,698
Yeah.
168
00:07:33,118 --> 00:07:34,829
[instrumental music]
169
00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:45,006
Hey, Drew, here is something
for you to wear in prison.
170
00:07:52,971 --> 00:07:54,139
Yeah, I'll be using it
before you will.
171
00:07:54,139 --> 00:07:55,224
[clears throat]
172
00:08:01,688 --> 00:08:06,527
Oh, gee! Here you are facing
hard time and I'm telling jokes.
173
00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:07,903
So you are sorry?
174
00:08:07,903 --> 00:08:09,363
No, I'm telling you
what I'm gonna be doin'
175
00:08:09,363 --> 00:08:11,448
for the next 20 minutes.
176
00:08:11,448 --> 00:08:13,534
Oh, oops, forgot my notes.
177
00:08:15,285 --> 00:08:17,663
Carey.
178
00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:19,957
We want you to know the store
supports you whole heartedly.
179
00:08:19,957 --> 00:08:21,958
You've been loyal
to us for ten years
180
00:08:21,958 --> 00:08:23,836
we'll be just
as loyal to you.
181
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:25,462
Thank you, sir.
182
00:08:25,462 --> 00:08:27,798
Oh, just for the fun of it,
fill this specimen cup
183
00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:29,759
and have it to security
by noon today.
184
00:08:32,511 --> 00:08:34,847
Gee, that does sound like fun.
185
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:36,223
Drew!
186
00:08:36,223 --> 00:08:38,434
Your lawyer's here.
187
00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:41,687
Lawyer, pig.
Pig, lawyer.
188
00:08:43,647 --> 00:08:45,482
Nice to meet you, Mr. Carey.
189
00:08:45,482 --> 00:08:46,858
Same here.
Shall we get started?
190
00:08:46,858 --> 00:08:49,529
Oh, well first,
shake my hand.
191
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,113
That's not some
fancy lawyer version
192
00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:53,491
of "pull my finger", is it?
193
00:08:53,491 --> 00:08:55,200
No.
194
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:58,496
Congratulations. The charges
against you have been dropped.
195
00:08:58,496 --> 00:08:59,997
I threatened a countersue
and they folded.
196
00:08:59,997 --> 00:09:01,456
They never had a case.
197
00:09:01,456 --> 00:09:02,958
I'm not going to jail,
that's great.
198
00:09:02,958 --> 00:09:04,919
Well, you're
the best lawyer ever.
199
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:06,170
I feel like goin' home
and commit a real crime
200
00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:08,714
just to watch you
do your stuff.
201
00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:10,716
A-actually, there is more
you should know.
202
00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:12,635
Nope, that's it.
Old story, big happy ending.
203
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:14,637
I'm afraid not, Mr. Carey.
204
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:16,597
Afraid so, I call it big,
happy ending. Bye-bye.
205
00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:22,144
Well, before you call "jinx"
and I can't talk
206
00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:24,647
I should tell you that the
government has seized your house
207
00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:26,440
and they're going
to sell it at auction.
208
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:27,816
What?
209
00:09:27,816 --> 00:09:29,317
My house?
Th-they can't do that.
210
00:09:29,317 --> 00:09:30,944
You just said I was innocent.
211
00:09:30,944 --> 00:09:34,031
You may be, but your house
was involved in a crime.
212
00:09:34,031 --> 00:09:36,074
Your roommate paid your
mortgage with drug money
213
00:09:36,074 --> 00:09:39,828
so legally, they can
take your house.
214
00:09:39,828 --> 00:09:42,331
So, my house is guilty.
215
00:09:42,331 --> 00:09:43,583
Yeah.
216
00:09:47,461 --> 00:09:48,545
Hello, house?
217
00:09:48,545 --> 00:09:50,005
They're on to us.
218
00:09:50,005 --> 00:09:51,382
Get the fridge,
meet me down at the river.
219
00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:57,680
I don't care.
Use an extension cord.
220
00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:00,391
And uh, tell the oven,
I love her.
221
00:10:01,683 --> 00:10:04,103
[instrumental music]
222
00:10:15,531 --> 00:10:17,741
So, uh, Lewis, Kate and I,
we're going out later
223
00:10:17,741 --> 00:10:19,410
and we were wondering if,
you wanted to come along.
224
00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:21,495
Oh, yeah.
225
00:10:21,495 --> 00:10:23,997
No, I'd just feel
like a third wheel.
226
00:10:23,997 --> 00:10:25,708
Hey, you're not a third wheel.
227
00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:28,544
As a matter of fact, you can
pick where we go tonight.
228
00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:30,378
- Really?
- 'Yeah.'
229
00:10:30,378 --> 00:10:33,507
Okay, I say we go for
a drive by the lake.
230
00:10:33,507 --> 00:10:35,217
Oh, that sounds nice.
231
00:10:35,217 --> 00:10:38,428
- Park, look at the stars.
- Uh-huh.
232
00:10:38,428 --> 00:10:41,181
Maybe go out for
a romantic French dinner?
233
00:10:41,181 --> 00:10:43,308
Grab a bike.
234
00:10:43,308 --> 00:10:44,727
Go home.
235
00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:46,395
Have a little red wine.
236
00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:49,482
See what happens.
237
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:54,362
And one of us could stop
watching cable.
238
00:10:56,405 --> 00:10:58,365
Hey, Drew, we just
wanted you to know
239
00:10:58,365 --> 00:10:59,784
you can stay with us
as long as you want.
240
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:01,661
Lewis, however,
maybe moving out.
241
00:11:04,037 --> 00:11:05,914
- Hey, Nicki, you look great.
- Well, thanks.
242
00:11:05,914 --> 00:11:08,250
Uh, and why do you wanna meet
here instead of at your house?
243
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:11,462
Oh, good news... this
is my house now.
244
00:11:12,546 --> 00:11:14,256
Your house is a bar?
245
00:11:14,256 --> 00:11:16,884
What's next? Actually,
living inside the keg?
246
00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:20,012
I'm moving upstairs
in the store room
247
00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:22,180
you know,
with Oswald and Lewis.
248
00:11:22,180 --> 00:11:23,724
'Cause you know,
the government seized my house
249
00:11:23,724 --> 00:11:24,766
and put it up for auction.
250
00:11:24,766 --> 00:11:28,020
Hey, last chance to marry me.
251
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:31,065
Oh, hey, you remember everybody
from jail, uh, Kate. Oswald.
252
00:11:31,065 --> 00:11:33,275
- Hey.
- Hello.
253
00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:36,696
And Lewis, probably
third wheel, now fifth wheel.
254
00:11:37,696 --> 00:11:38,989
[whispers]
Hi.
255
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:42,075
Uh, so, Nicky,
you're realtor.
256
00:11:42,075 --> 00:11:43,869
What are these house auctions,
like, anyway?
257
00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:46,622
Oh, take my advise and stay
home, it will break your heart
258
00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:48,123
how low they
sell your house for.
259
00:11:48,123 --> 00:11:49,374
Great. Probably
less than I owe on it.
260
00:11:49,374 --> 00:11:50,834
Way lower.
261
00:11:50,834 --> 00:11:52,461
Some bottom feeders probably
gonna get a great deal
262
00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:54,380
'cause the interest rates
are so low right now.
263
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:56,047
Yep.
264
00:11:56,047 --> 00:11:57,758
Hey, wait a minute.
265
00:11:57,758 --> 00:12:01,470
I'm in the bottom. How come I
can't see some feedin' already?
266
00:12:01,470 --> 00:12:03,138
All I gotta do is,
buy my house back.
267
00:12:03,138 --> 00:12:04,848
Hey, sure you can, Drew
268
00:12:04,848 --> 00:12:07,101
if everybody claps
their hands and believes.
269
00:12:11,021 --> 00:12:12,565
Drew, you can't buy
your own house back.
270
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:13,649
It's against the law.
271
00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:15,985
I don't have to.
It's so simple.
272
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:17,652
Now, stay with me.
273
00:12:17,652 --> 00:12:19,571
I allow the house
to go for a quick auction
274
00:12:19,571 --> 00:12:21,823
one of you guys buys it,
but I make the payments.
275
00:12:21,823 --> 00:12:23,492
And, because I got it
in an auction
276
00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:26,411
I'll get it for a lot less
than I owe on it.
277
00:12:26,411 --> 00:12:29,122
But, oh-oh, I have two
mortgages, so I'm crazy, right?
278
00:12:29,122 --> 00:12:32,250
Crazy like a fox.
279
00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:34,128
Here's the beauty part
of the plan...
280
00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:38,090
...I declare bankruptcy!
281
00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:40,509
See, for once
I'm using the system
282
00:12:40,509 --> 00:12:42,011
instead of
the system using me.
283
00:12:43,762 --> 00:12:45,847
At this point,
Wile E. Coyote realizes
284
00:12:45,847 --> 00:12:48,933
that the tunnel was just
actually painted on.
285
00:12:48,933 --> 00:12:50,936
[whispers]
Let's watch.
286
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:53,105
[instrumental music]
287
00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:54,856
Okay, everybody
288
00:12:54,856 --> 00:12:56,858
I wanna thank you all for
coming to my bankruptcy party.
289
00:12:56,858 --> 00:12:59,945
[cheering]
290
00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:03,114
Now, it's time for the oldest
unpaid bill contest.
291
00:13:03,114 --> 00:13:04,408
And none of those PBS budgets
292
00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:06,493
'cause nobody
pays those anyways.
293
00:13:06,493 --> 00:13:10,372
I've got an orthodontics bill
from 1987.
294
00:13:10,372 --> 00:13:12,082
(all)
Wow.
295
00:13:12,082 --> 00:13:16,253
Like I wanna pay that jerk, all
my teeth went back they were.
296
00:13:16,253 --> 00:13:17,754
Didn't the retainer help?
297
00:13:17,754 --> 00:13:19,173
Uh, what-the, what?
298
00:13:21,383 --> 00:13:24,344
I have a student loan bill
from one semester
299
00:13:24,344 --> 00:13:26,763
of Lakeland Community College
in 1984.
300
00:13:26,763 --> 00:13:29,058
[cheering]
301
00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:30,266
Hey, when you give
a loan to a guy
302
00:13:30,266 --> 00:13:32,394
with a 2.0 grade point average
303
00:13:32,394 --> 00:13:34,146
you takes your chances.
304
00:13:36,106 --> 00:13:40,361
I hold in my hands
a bill for my own birth.
305
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:42,530
[cheering]
306
00:13:44,448 --> 00:13:46,783
What're they gonna do,
put me back?
307
00:13:46,783 --> 00:13:47,909
[laughing]
308
00:13:47,909 --> 00:13:49,452
We have a winner.
309
00:13:49,452 --> 00:13:51,497
Well, a loser, but a winner.
310
00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:54,875
If I could have
everybody's attention...
311
00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:57,669
We put together a little song
and dance in honor of Drew.
312
00:13:57,669 --> 00:14:00,047
Yeah, it seem like a good idea
last night when we were drunk
313
00:14:00,047 --> 00:14:01,756
and, well, it's
too late to stop us now.
314
00:14:01,756 --> 00:14:04,510
So, a one and a two...
315
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:08,138
♪ You stick your poor ass in ♪
316
00:14:08,138 --> 00:14:09,431
♪ You stick your poor ass out ♪
317
00:14:09,431 --> 00:14:11,141
♪ You stick you poor as in ♪
318
00:14:11,141 --> 00:14:12,976
♪ And than you shake
it all about ♪
319
00:14:12,976 --> 00:14:16,188
♪ You do the goin' bookie 'cause
you goin' down the tubes ♪
320
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:18,273
♪ That's when we
both passed out ♪
321
00:14:18,273 --> 00:14:19,566
♪ Hey ♪
322
00:14:19,566 --> 00:14:22,278
[all cheering]
323
00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:26,197
It was very nice.
324
00:14:26,197 --> 00:14:27,950
Now, let's have a moment
of silence for your pride.
325
00:14:29,409 --> 00:14:31,495
Good.
326
00:14:31,495 --> 00:14:34,790
So, uh, Oswald, what're you,
uh, dressed up as, anyway?
327
00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:36,583
Hit me.
328
00:14:36,583 --> 00:14:38,001
I'm the skids.
329
00:14:38,001 --> 00:14:39,920
[laughing]
330
00:14:42,297 --> 00:14:44,049
Oh, man, now that
you're his girlfriend
331
00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:46,802
I gotta listen to you laugh
for every stupid thing he says.
332
00:14:46,802 --> 00:14:48,303
Hey, I got one for you.
333
00:14:48,303 --> 00:14:50,638
Look at me.
I'm-I'm the doe.
334
00:14:50,638 --> 00:14:52,057
[giggling]
335
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:56,520
Hey.
336
00:14:57,854 --> 00:14:59,856
What just, uh,
happened over there?
337
00:14:59,856 --> 00:15:01,358
Ah, that's nothing.
338
00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:03,735
- Drew...
- Nothing happened.
339
00:15:03,735 --> 00:15:06,154
Drew, I'm not a psychologist,
but when a grown man
340
00:15:06,154 --> 00:15:09,866
holds a pineapple to his butt,
it's a cry for help.
341
00:15:09,866 --> 00:15:11,201
(Drew)
'It's just weird to watch'
342
00:15:11,201 --> 00:15:13,203
'two of my best friends
datin' each other.'
343
00:15:13,203 --> 00:15:15,330
Well, maybe you
should go talk to him.
344
00:15:15,330 --> 00:15:17,958
'Cause you're really bringin'
down the bankruptcy party.
345
00:15:20,335 --> 00:15:22,296
Yeah.
You're right.
346
00:15:24,797 --> 00:15:26,216
[Drew sighs]
347
00:15:26,216 --> 00:15:29,093
Hey, Kate, can I, uh,
talk to you for a second.
348
00:15:29,093 --> 00:15:30,429
Why, was I breathing different
349
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:32,180
than I did before
I started dating Oswald?
350
00:15:32,180 --> 00:15:33,724
No, wait.
351
00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:37,019
Look, I'm really sorry, I just...
352
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,019
You know,
I used to be able to say
353
00:15:38,019 --> 00:15:39,146
"Hey, I'm in my 30's
354
00:15:39,146 --> 00:15:40,230
"and I'm not married,
but so what
355
00:15:40,230 --> 00:15:41,273
neither are my friends."
356
00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:42,899
And now, two of my best friends
357
00:15:42,899 --> 00:15:44,485
are in a great relationship
358
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:47,070
that has every chance
of working out and...
359
00:15:47,070 --> 00:15:50,073
...I was, I was feeling
kind of lonely, that's all.
360
00:15:50,073 --> 00:15:52,117
Now, it's just me and Lewis.
361
00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:55,078
Oh my God,
just me and Lewis.
362
00:15:55,078 --> 00:15:58,332
Hey, baby. What's long
and red and right behind you?
363
00:16:02,210 --> 00:16:03,711
Is that what you
are worried about?
364
00:16:03,711 --> 00:16:05,505
Don't be silly.
365
00:16:05,505 --> 00:16:08,592
If I can find someone, I'm sure
you'll find someone, Drew.
366
00:16:10,886 --> 00:16:16,350
I'm sure you'll
find someone, Drew.
367
00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:20,604
I'm sure you'll
find someone, Drew.
368
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:24,024
I'm sure you'll
find someone, Drew.
369
00:16:26,818 --> 00:16:29,404
Ah, thanks, Kate.
I really appreciate that.
370
00:16:29,404 --> 00:16:31,782
And, hey, we'll always
be friends, right?
371
00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:37,454
Hey, we'll always
be friends, right?
372
00:16:40,248 --> 00:16:42,334
(male #1)
'Hey, we'll always
be friends, right?'
373
00:16:46,171 --> 00:16:50,384
Yeah, thanks, Kate.
I, I really appreciate that.
374
00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:55,513
Hey, Lewis.
375
00:16:55,513 --> 00:16:58,850
- Same old, same old, huh?
- Yeah, just me and you, buddy.
376
00:16:58,850 --> 00:17:00,769
[chuckles]
377
00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:02,312
Just me and you.
378
00:17:04,272 --> 00:17:07,192
Quit looking at me like that,
Lewis, you're freakin' me out!
379
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:10,028
[dings]
380
00:17:10,028 --> 00:17:14,241
Quit looking at me like that,
Lewis, you're freakin' me out.
381
00:17:14,241 --> 00:17:26,628
Quit looking at me like that,
Lewis, you're freaking me out!
382
00:17:31,883 --> 00:17:34,553
[instrumental music]
383
00:17:37,305 --> 00:17:39,016
Okay, guys, here's the plan.
384
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:41,351
I wanna buy back this place
for as little as possible
385
00:17:41,351 --> 00:17:43,979
so we've to convince everybody,
it's a real crappy place.
386
00:17:43,979 --> 00:17:47,566
I got an idea. Why don't
we just show them the inside?
387
00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:48,734
Good. That's the spirit.
388
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:50,527
By the way, screw you.
389
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:55,156
You know, I checked the plumbing
underneath the house
390
00:17:55,156 --> 00:17:58,660
and it looks like all the pipes
will need to be replaced.
391
00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:01,872
Boy, never saw a cockroach
ride a rat before.
392
00:18:05,333 --> 00:18:07,503
Hey, look. An unmarked grave.
393
00:18:10,505 --> 00:18:13,758
Alright, folks, on behalf
of the state of Ohio
394
00:18:13,758 --> 00:18:16,177
we are ready to
take the first bid.
395
00:18:16,177 --> 00:18:18,096
Okay, Lewis,
start the bidding for me.
396
00:18:18,096 --> 00:18:19,973
- What should I start at?
- I don't know, ten thousands.
397
00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:22,726
- For this rat hole?
- Just bid.
398
00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:24,352
Alright, I don't know
why I'm doing this
399
00:18:24,352 --> 00:18:26,897
because this place
really stinks
400
00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:29,316
but, I'm bidding $10,000.
401
00:18:29,316 --> 00:18:32,945
I have 10,000.
Do I hear 10,500?
402
00:18:34,070 --> 00:18:36,573
Twenty thousand for the pigsty!
403
00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:39,534
Mimi, what're you doin' here?
404
00:18:39,534 --> 00:18:42,328
Screwing you and getting
a house for cheap.
405
00:18:42,328 --> 00:18:46,208
Oh, yeah? 20,000
and one dollar.
406
00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:50,295
I'm sorry, sir, you have
to bid in increments of $500.
407
00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:54,799
Alrighty, then, 20,500
and one dollar.
408
00:18:54,799 --> 00:18:56,926
Shove that one dollar
down his throat.
409
00:18:56,926 --> 00:18:58,094
Thirty five thousand!
410
00:18:58,094 --> 00:18:59,137
Forty thousand!
411
00:18:59,137 --> 00:19:00,888
Forty five thousand!
412
00:19:00,888 --> 00:19:03,183
Fifty thousand! We can go at
this all night if you want.
413
00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:04,642
It's not my money.
414
00:19:04,642 --> 00:19:06,394
Hey, what're you doing?
415
00:19:06,394 --> 00:19:09,188
Just shut up. We're almost at
what I paid for the place.
416
00:19:09,188 --> 00:19:10,607
Oh, look, here's my neighbors.
417
00:19:10,607 --> 00:19:12,275
Good to see here for the
support, thanks, man,
418
00:19:12,275 --> 00:19:13,944
Hey, what's the bidding at?
419
00:19:13,944 --> 00:19:15,236
Around 50,000.
420
00:19:15,236 --> 00:19:16,613
Fifty five thousand!
421
00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:18,072
Fifty seven thousand!
422
00:19:18,072 --> 00:19:19,824
What're you doin'?
423
00:19:19,824 --> 00:19:22,744
Oh, we're gonna knock down your
house and build something nice.
424
00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:24,579
Fifty eight thousand!
425
00:19:24,579 --> 00:19:26,539
Do I hear sixty?
426
00:19:26,539 --> 00:19:28,083
Sixty thousand!
427
00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:29,876
Thirty thousand!
428
00:19:29,876 --> 00:19:31,878
Might work.
429
00:19:31,878 --> 00:19:34,714
Hey, why do you care?
You don't own the house anymore.
430
00:19:34,714 --> 00:19:36,300
- Yeah, but--
- Sixty five thousand!
431
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:37,842
Tryin' to buy it back.
432
00:19:37,842 --> 00:19:39,636
I made my friend Lewis here
bid out it for me.
433
00:19:39,636 --> 00:19:42,346
Oh, we didn't know that.
Did you hear that?
434
00:19:42,346 --> 00:19:44,558
Honey, he is tryin'
to buy the house back.
435
00:19:44,558 --> 00:19:45,558
Well, then,
I'll bet a bit higher.
436
00:19:45,558 --> 00:19:48,019
Seventy thousand!
437
00:19:48,019 --> 00:19:51,272
Well, that's a little
too rich for my blood.
438
00:19:51,272 --> 00:19:53,692
Just for the fun of it,
72,500!
439
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:59,156
Great. That's why I owe on the
house, now what will I do?
440
00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:00,407
I'll tell you what to do.
441
00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:02,784
Seventy three thousand!
442
00:20:02,784 --> 00:20:05,495
- Seventy four thousand!
- Hold it.
443
00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:08,206
Look, I want this house man.
444
00:20:08,206 --> 00:20:11,376
I grew up here,
it's my childhood home.
445
00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:13,795
That's how I know, that
the guy on the other side of you
446
00:20:13,795 --> 00:20:15,880
with the big lot,
has a heart condition.
447
00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:17,716
It's gonna be a long winter.
448
00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:20,594
Big driveway, small snow shovel.
You do the math.
449
00:20:23,179 --> 00:20:25,265
Alright, alright,
it's yours, man.
450
00:20:25,265 --> 00:20:26,766
Seventy four thousand, once--
451
00:20:26,766 --> 00:20:29,937
Seventy five thousand
and one dollar.
452
00:20:31,145 --> 00:20:32,397
Sold.
453
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:34,148
For 75,000.
454
00:20:34,148 --> 00:20:36,192
[cheering]
455
00:20:36,192 --> 00:20:37,235
Alright, I got my house back.
456
00:20:37,235 --> 00:20:38,736
A little more
than I paid for
457
00:20:38,736 --> 00:20:40,822
but with a lower interest rate,
it'll all even out.
458
00:20:40,822 --> 00:20:44,034
Oh, well, you know that
just goes the show.
459
00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:45,702
If you let the system beat
you long enough
460
00:20:45,702 --> 00:20:47,120
eventually it's gonna get tired.
461
00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:48,830
Mm-hm.
462
00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:51,124
Now, if you'll excuse me, I...
463
00:20:51,124 --> 00:20:53,043
...I have someone I have to see.
464
00:20:55,712 --> 00:20:57,589
Oh, oven.
I'm home!
465
00:21:02,134 --> 00:21:03,887
Hey, Tim, how is it
going down there?
466
00:21:03,887 --> 00:21:05,680
Cheese burger.
467
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:06,807
Chilly burger.
468
00:21:08,558 --> 00:21:11,686
Spaghetti dinner.
469
00:21:11,686 --> 00:21:15,148
Hey, hey, hey,
I ordered meat balls.
470
00:21:15,148 --> 00:21:16,900
Hey, Tim, I ordered meat balls!
471
00:21:18,401 --> 00:21:20,069
Whoa.
472
00:21:20,069 --> 00:21:22,489
Check out the blonde at the bar,
she is cute.
473
00:21:22,489 --> 00:21:26,576
Hey, baby, you want to take
the stairway to heaven?
474
00:21:26,576 --> 00:21:28,620
It's just past the men's room!
475
00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:35,669
Sorry, buddy. Hey, get a haircut
and workout, would you?
476
00:21:35,669 --> 00:21:37,296
[instrumental music]
32224
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