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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,830 --> 00:00:07,250 Ah. My kids never forgave me when 2 00:00:07,270 --> 00:00:12,610 I bought super POLONIA Brothers for Nintendo. 3 00:00:12,630 --> 00:00:15,550 The cosmic vastness of space. 4 00:00:15,570 --> 00:00:19,210 This guy needs billions and billions of voice lessons. 5 00:00:19,230 --> 00:00:23,260 From high above. 6 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:28,150 But what really lies beyond our galaxy? Do we rule the stars? 7 00:00:28,170 --> 00:00:32,340 Being the only life form to exist? Or are there others? 8 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:37,960 I'm your host. A YouTuber who has been banned from a regional Comic-Con 9 00:00:37,980 --> 00:00:42,680 Accounts of visitations of creatures from other planets 10 00:00:42,700 --> 00:00:44,600 are documented on a weekly basis. 11 00:00:44,620 --> 00:00:46,590 By drunken hicks. 12 00:00:46,610 --> 00:00:49,540 The more unfortunate incidents the capture of 13 00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:54,020 unwilling victims for experiments and observation. 14 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:57,670 Where do these creatures come from? What do they want on Earth? 15 00:00:57,690 --> 00:01:01,430 To spice up the Tanner family's lives with their wisecracking? 16 00:01:01,450 --> 00:01:04,720 Or do they watch our planet with evil intentions? 17 00:01:04,740 --> 00:01:06,370 Waiting for the right time to slip past 18 00:01:06,390 --> 00:01:09,910 our uncaring eyes, and reveal their hidden agenda. 19 00:01:09,930 --> 00:01:11,550 The hidden agenda implies the existence 20 00:01:11,570 --> 00:01:17,410 of hidden action items. Circling back. 21 00:01:17,430 --> 00:01:20,520 Pray we are ready. ♪♪♪ 22 00:01:20,540 --> 00:01:23,300 Gah! No! I'm not ready! Grope Bill instead! 23 00:01:23,320 --> 00:01:24,920 What the hell, Kevin? 24 00:01:24,940 --> 00:01:29,340 I mean we're all in this together! Go man. Bill. 25 00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:33,480 ♪♪♪ Feeders. 26 00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:40,590 The things you put birdseed in, are now a major motion picture. 27 00:01:40,610 --> 00:01:42,560 Go Major Tom! 28 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:52,190 Feels like Mark Gormley should be standing in front of these graphics. 29 00:01:52,210 --> 00:01:54,470 - Throwing a power stance? - Oh yeah. 30 00:01:58,530 --> 00:02:03,100 And Gordon Ranger as Gary LeBlanc. 31 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:06,750 ♪♪♪ Theme from Feeders. 32 00:02:12,750 --> 00:02:16,050 ♪♪♪ Huh? Do Gretta Gerwig movies have aliens created by credits? 33 00:02:16,070 --> 00:02:19,900 I don't think so. Point Polonias! 34 00:02:27,270 --> 00:02:30,590 Okay guys. Before we land, is anyone deathly allergic to water? 35 00:02:30,610 --> 00:02:31,740 Oh, I am. 36 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:33,870 - Me too! - Ah, well. Good thing I asked. 37 00:02:33,890 --> 00:02:37,490 This could have really gotten stupid otherwise. Let's go home. 38 00:02:44,290 --> 00:02:48,610 We come in peace. and in search of duty free cigarettes. 39 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,760 Hi kids! I'm Smokey the Bear. 40 00:02:57,780 --> 00:03:00,380 Isn't it weird that I don't wear a shirt? 41 00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:08,180 ♪♪♪ Ah, fishing. When you want to get outdoors, 42 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:11,860 but aren't big on the whole "being sober" thing. 43 00:03:18,230 --> 00:03:20,130 ♪♪♪ Okay. I know this is a digital video file, 44 00:03:20,150 --> 00:03:26,380 but I still feel a strange urge to adjust the VCR track. 45 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:32,990 A river runs through it. "It" meaning a crappy movie. 46 00:03:33,010 --> 00:03:35,320 Of course. 47 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:45,610 Well, seems complicated, but it's the only way he can go. Ugh! 48 00:03:51,260 --> 00:03:55,950 It's the sporty all-new Chevrolet Feeder! 49 00:04:04,090 --> 00:04:05,440 Yeah, this is gonna be one of those movies, 50 00:04:05,460 --> 00:04:08,160 where everyone looks like they're wearing an ankle monitor. 51 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:16,180 So, yeah. The director said the mustache wasn't a problem. 52 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:18,470 I was surprised too! 53 00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:27,160 because the pants imply there's something down there to cover up! 54 00:04:27,180 --> 00:04:30,420 Something impressive. Thanks, Smokey. 55 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:34,690 Dr. Hip. 56 00:04:34,710 --> 00:04:40,500 Look that says, "I've eaten muskrat, when I didn't have to." 57 00:04:44,710 --> 00:04:49,720 ♪♪♪ What the hell was that? A vehicle without truck nuts?? 58 00:04:54,360 --> 00:05:00,140 If that don't beat all. A meteor! 59 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,780 Well I hope it doesn't burn the fucking forest down. 60 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,680 See, that was Smokey's original catchphrase. 61 00:05:12,650 --> 00:05:15,600 The Polonia Brothers lobbied hard for a hideous, boxy trucks, 62 00:05:15,620 --> 00:05:20,250 making real time three point turns. Oscar category. 63 00:05:23,660 --> 00:05:27,010 They're not really putting that in a movie, are they? 64 00:05:32,260 --> 00:05:36,810 Glasses from the Kent Tekulve collection. 65 00:05:43,060 --> 00:05:48,700 A man who's written in Jeff Foxworthy for president. 66 00:05:54,420 --> 00:06:00,360 How did UFO effects get worse? Forty years, AFTER Plan 9? 67 00:06:06,530 --> 00:06:10,410 Oh god! I've gotta get beamed down closer next time. 68 00:06:14,260 --> 00:06:19,940 Guess I'm not fishing anymore, or? 69 00:06:27,210 --> 00:06:32,940 This driving and parking makes James Nguyen look like a bike advocate. 70 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:37,140 There's another one. I knew this was gonna be a bad day. 71 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:42,170 I guess I'll follow the first one. It'll start a fire before the other one, anyway. 72 00:06:42,190 --> 00:06:44,540 I hate having spiritual awakenings, 73 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:48,850 triggered by the realization we're not alone in the Cosmos. 74 00:06:55,480 --> 00:07:00,310 Why are there so many, films about Feeders? 75 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:12,510 Am I Groot? Or is he Groot? Groots away! 76 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:26,450 Somehow, they made taking a picture look faker than the aliens! 77 00:07:31,150 --> 00:07:34,500 Doing a shoot for Unimpressive Vistas magazine. 78 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:38,560 Next up, all of Kansas! 79 00:07:38,580 --> 00:07:44,880 Ah, it's good to be celibate. 80 00:07:44,900 --> 00:07:50,180 This is great. Have you had enough, yet? 81 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:52,890 Uh, let me get ten more of the same picture of nothing. 82 00:07:52,910 --> 00:07:56,510 This is a page right out of history. Yeah, a real boring page. 83 00:07:56,530 --> 00:07:59,140 Look, I gotta get some fuel in this, Derek. 84 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:00,980 Oh come on, Bennett. Loosen up. 85 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,860 I mean this cross country road trip is supposed to be fun. 86 00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:06,590 Yeah, would be a lot funner when we hit the Atlantic ocean, 87 00:08:06,610 --> 00:08:09,670 and I can watch all those BABES in those skimpy suits. 88 00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:13,590 Oh! School lunch ladies, huh? Come on, let's go into town. 89 00:08:13,610 --> 00:08:15,920 I wanna grab some pictures of the devastation. 90 00:08:15,940 --> 00:08:17,720 You're a sick man. 91 00:08:17,740 --> 00:08:22,120 The "devastation" refers to what he did to the motel bathroom. 92 00:08:22,140 --> 00:08:26,430 Pictures. 93 00:08:26,450 --> 00:08:33,860 Okay. Stop showing people entering or exiting cars! 94 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:41,100 Sadly, the Polonias did not obey that sign. 95 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:45,310 ♪♪♪ He's hunting for needlessly specific chyrons. 96 00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:54,470 Whoa! There's a super realistic alien back here! 97 00:08:54,490 --> 00:08:57,570 Guess you'll have to take my word for it. 98 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:09,320 I guess for 1982, these effects weren't bad. 99 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:13,280 Yeah, this came out in 1996. Same year as Independence Day. 100 00:09:13,300 --> 00:09:18,800 Doh! 101 00:09:18,820 --> 00:09:25,290 Oh yeah. Full stop. What? No e-brake? You call this a parking scene? 102 00:09:25,310 --> 00:09:28,130 Place called Debbin's Crossing. 103 00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:30,680 This was a place that was destroyed by the flood? 104 00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:34,780 Yeah. Debbin floated across, face down. 105 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:38,460 Can you swim? Just in case. 106 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:43,320 The flood was last month, and they're still finding bodies. 107 00:09:51,750 --> 00:09:55,100 No. No signs of intelligent life so far. 108 00:10:01,990 --> 00:10:03,700 Nick Nolte's birthplace! 109 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:06,040 I'm gonna die there, too, twinkle toes! 110 00:10:06,060 --> 00:10:10,130 Maybe this afternoon. 111 00:10:10,150 --> 00:10:17,880 Ansel Adams junior, disgraced the family's name. 112 00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:24,780 Herman Cain's campaign manager. 113 00:10:31,490 --> 00:10:37,530 Forget The Insider. This is what really brought down big tobacco. 114 00:10:44,790 --> 00:10:48,700 You see kids, it was called "film". 115 00:10:53,770 --> 00:10:57,680 Oh damn. ♪♪♪ Out of film. 116 00:10:57,700 --> 00:11:03,270 Good! Let's get the hell out of here! Okay. 117 00:11:03,290 --> 00:11:07,190 All right. There's no way this wasn't made on a dare! 118 00:11:12,170 --> 00:11:15,740 ♪♪♪ So peanuty. 119 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:17,240 Yeah, this movie was filmed the week 120 00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:19,800 after putting your car in reverse, was invented. 121 00:11:19,820 --> 00:11:25,460 So, it was still really impressive to people. 122 00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:27,850 ♪♪♪ Maybe it's a gender swap Thelma and Louise? 123 00:11:27,870 --> 00:11:29,770 And they're about to plummet to their deaths? 124 00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:34,620 - Be great. - Come on, come on. Do it! 125 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:39,750 Let the rejected music for the Nintendo Wii shop comfort you. 126 00:11:39,770 --> 00:11:44,210 Should we find a motel or camp in the woods? Uh? Let's camp in the woods. 127 00:11:44,230 --> 00:11:48,230 We've got a lot of gear. And besides, we've gotta save our money for the ocean. 128 00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:51,540 Buying the ocean? Wow! High rollers. 129 00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:54,280 There's a camp site. About eighteen miles from here. 130 00:11:54,300 --> 00:11:56,620 Oh please be Camp Crystal Lake. 131 00:11:56,640 --> 00:12:01,070 Get some gas and some dinner on the way? Good. 132 00:12:01,090 --> 00:12:04,510 You know, this has been a pretty uneventful trip. It's not over yet. 133 00:12:04,530 --> 00:12:06,190 Anything could happen. 134 00:12:06,210 --> 00:12:10,540 Yeah. Bikini babes could mock you, they could laugh at you. 135 00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:15,010 The weather forecast for the next two days looks good. 136 00:12:15,030 --> 00:12:18,060 More news? Can't they play any music out here? 137 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:20,850 I refuse to change the station and find out. 138 00:12:20,870 --> 00:12:25,760 Reports of a glowing meteor or fireball, soaring across the Pennsylvania sky. 139 00:12:25,780 --> 00:12:27,940 ♪♪♪ No explanation has been given to us from 140 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,030 the authorities explaining this phenomenon. 141 00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:33,130 Keep looking hard at the radio. That'll help it make sense. 142 00:12:33,150 --> 00:12:37,830 Do you believe that? Aww, it's all a bunch of horse shit. 143 00:12:37,850 --> 00:12:42,300 These people watch too much television. Yeah. The outer limits. 144 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:44,430 There is nothing wrong with your television set. 145 00:12:44,450 --> 00:12:48,010 Do not attempt to adjust the picture. These are the real actors, 146 00:12:48,030 --> 00:12:53,630 and it is really this bad. ♪♪♪ 147 00:12:53,650 --> 00:13:00,200 A man who has asked his wife to call him John Deere, during sex. 148 00:13:07,890 --> 00:13:13,040 Only you, can very gradually prevent forest fires. 149 00:13:17,540 --> 00:13:22,840 I agree! 150 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:30,810 Director left a kiddie pool on the lawn for too long. 151 00:13:30,830 --> 00:13:35,730 Say. 152 00:13:35,750 --> 00:13:39,240 - No, no. - The on foot equivalent, of a parking scene. 153 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:48,740 Great. Now the aliens are gonna start pulling into traffic and parking. 154 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:59,070 ♪♪♪ No! No! I was kidding! 155 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:11,570 So this is what best-in-class towing capacity looks like. Hmmm! 156 00:14:11,590 --> 00:14:16,210 ♪♪♪ Filmed in glorious boot-o vision. 157 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:29,200 Well, so far, it's meteors one. Jade Wanstead, nothing. 158 00:14:33,530 --> 00:14:37,020 Love this crew cab. So roomy! 159 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:50,900 Easy. EASY! And..... FEED! 160 00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:54,680 - They're Feeders. - Mm hmm! 161 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:03,070 The aliens went with this over Panda Express. 162 00:15:03,090 --> 00:15:06,830 And I gotta say, I'm really with the aliens on this one. 163 00:15:12,190 --> 00:15:17,230 Every aspect of the driving experience MUST be documented. 164 00:15:21,770 --> 00:15:24,860 Hey listen, I'll be right back, okay? 165 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:26,940 Gonna make that earlier bathroom devastation 166 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:34,120 look like something out of Martha Stewart magazine. 167 00:15:34,140 --> 00:15:39,440 Uses his fake ID to buy lottery scratchers. 168 00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:46,020 Hi! I'm looking for disappointment? 169 00:15:57,480 --> 00:16:01,830 This is like watching Lyman from Garfield on the prowl. 170 00:16:01,850 --> 00:16:04,730 Hi! What are you doing? 171 00:16:04,750 --> 00:16:09,910 Oh hi. I guess it was all just a beautiful dream, huh? 172 00:16:09,930 --> 00:16:12,450 Hiya then! 173 00:16:12,470 --> 00:16:15,630 You wouldn't believe what these throw backs 174 00:16:15,650 --> 00:16:20,860 are charging for batteries and film. Normal market rates! It's insane. 175 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:26,400 What are you smiling about? Women! Women! I just set us up with some girls. 176 00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:31,300 Oh no! You're kidding? I just got over that last batch of cooties! 177 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:35,400 Thankful? Last time you set us up, we ended up in a dike bar, 178 00:16:35,420 --> 00:16:37,510 with two lesbians talking about the trick pony! 179 00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:41,060 - Whoa! - Yeah. They prefer to be called tiny horses. 180 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:47,390 Maybe you'll lose your virginity? Very funny, asshole. 181 00:16:47,410 --> 00:16:50,960 Yeah, he's saving himself for a mannequin Kim Cattrall. 182 00:16:58,620 --> 00:17:02,730 It's time to play "Is that the bait? Or the catch?" 183 00:17:07,030 --> 00:17:08,990 Okay now. I know I keep a little fish size 184 00:17:09,010 --> 00:17:12,290 top hat and monocle in here somewhere. 185 00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,840 Heh heh. ET just stole your snack, bitch. 186 00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:30,460 Now I'm doing paleo. Works for me. 187 00:17:38,650 --> 00:17:43,130 This is like if Predator took place in MTV's Buckwild. 188 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:52,950 ] Don't laugh. I start arm day tomorrow. 189 00:18:00,730 --> 00:18:04,290 Aliens just came here for that hat. Mission accomplished! 190 00:18:13,620 --> 00:18:16,480 Like to thank the movie for letting me 191 00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:24,770 know precisely what time I'm not giving a about. 192 00:18:24,790 --> 00:18:28,540 He grooms like a barbary macaque! 193 00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:38,950 Dammit. You haven't parked in nearly ten minutes. 194 00:18:38,970 --> 00:18:41,790 Is everything all right? 195 00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:50,500 Gonna be a hot time in the city tonight. 196 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:55,070 Shit! Gah! We killed 80s Phil Collins! 197 00:18:55,090 --> 00:18:57,370 Came out of nowhere. I didn't see him! 198 00:18:57,390 --> 00:19:00,860 Jesus. Wonder if he's still alive? 199 00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,170 If only there was a way to find out. 200 00:19:13,430 --> 00:19:16,000 Hey, uh, dude? You owe me a new fender. 201 00:19:20,100 --> 00:19:23,160 ♪♪♪ I'm real sorry, mister. 202 00:19:23,180 --> 00:19:25,410 I? We've gotta get him to the hospital! Fast! 203 00:19:25,430 --> 00:19:29,170 Okay quick. You grab his ruptured spleen, I'll get him by the shattered spine. 204 00:19:38,060 --> 00:19:39,530 What is he saying? 205 00:19:39,550 --> 00:19:41,440 Open the door! Come on! Let's get moving! He's in shock! 206 00:19:41,460 --> 00:19:44,420 Well, of course he is. I mean look what movie he's in! 207 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:54,350 Jesus! This is all we need. 208 00:19:54,370 --> 00:19:58,700 How am I supposed to explain this to the local skanks? 209 00:20:04,230 --> 00:20:06,360 Racing to save a life at speeds of up to, 210 00:20:06,380 --> 00:20:11,370 but never exceeding, twelve miles an hour. 211 00:20:11,390 --> 00:20:17,980 Uh, guys? I'm pretty sure that's a branch library, not a hospi? 212 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,730 You know what? Never mind. 213 00:20:20,750 --> 00:20:25,570 Hello? Is anyone even here? Hello? We need help out here! 214 00:20:25,590 --> 00:20:28,940 Yes? What is it? I'm a notary republic. What's with the bloody guy? 215 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,650 This guy jumped in front of our car. 216 00:20:31,670 --> 00:20:33,580 We clipped him. I don't think he's gonna be okay. 217 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:37,630 Just bring him back here. quickly. 218 00:20:37,650 --> 00:20:41,570 Just set him up on the table. I'll get him just as. 219 00:20:41,590 --> 00:20:47,160 Now as licensed chiropodist, I'll be focusing exclusively on his feet. 220 00:20:47,180 --> 00:20:50,630 Arms at the sides. 221 00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:52,800 Is there anything you can tell me about this gentlemen? 222 00:20:52,820 --> 00:20:56,210 Uh, just a guess. Four marriages, counterfeit EBT card. 223 00:20:56,230 --> 00:20:59,500 A son who refuses to speak to him. 224 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:02,780 Worry about that, I'll take care of it. 225 00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:04,680 - Hand me those genital clamps. - What for? 226 00:21:04,700 --> 00:21:07,490 Dammit! There's no time! 227 00:21:11,670 --> 00:21:16,700 Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Well definitely no heart beat in his kidneys. 228 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:19,730 What are you doing? Is he gonna be okay? 229 00:21:19,750 --> 00:21:23,440 I'm afraid I can't do anything more for this man. He's dead. 230 00:21:23,460 --> 00:21:28,430 I'm sorry, gentlemen. I tried literally nothing I could do. 231 00:21:28,450 --> 00:21:31,440 While I call the police. 232 00:21:33,430 --> 00:21:35,820 Uh? Doc? What did you make of all those weird bite marks? 233 00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:39,780 Sorry. Moved over to the young adults section. I mean the OR! 234 00:21:50,020 --> 00:21:54,570 Well, at least we'll have something 235 00:21:54,590 --> 00:21:59,580 to talk about if we ever meet Matthew Broderick. 236 00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:02,840 ♪♪♪ We did the right thing, didn't we? 237 00:22:02,860 --> 00:22:05,650 Crushing that poor bastard with your car? Sure. 238 00:22:05,670 --> 00:22:12,790 I don't know. Why did that guy run out in front of our car? 239 00:22:12,810 --> 00:22:16,740 It would have been much more satisfying to mow him down ourselves. 240 00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:20,190 I don't know. Maybe something was chasing him. What? 241 00:22:20,210 --> 00:22:23,070 Well, one thing's for sure. 242 00:22:23,090 --> 00:22:27,370 The police won't want to talk to us about this. And we can just leave. 243 00:22:34,990 --> 00:22:37,990 - He shaved his mustache? - That isn't him. 244 00:22:38,010 --> 00:22:40,250 Hello? This is Donna? 245 00:22:40,270 --> 00:22:43,460 Donna. It's Michelle. What's up? 246 00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:48,890 I made my dad lunch, but he never came home. I met a cute guy today. 247 00:22:48,910 --> 00:22:52,830 God, Donna! Enough already about your mysteriously missing father OKAY? 248 00:22:52,850 --> 00:22:56,440 He and a friend were passing through. Where are they from? 249 00:22:56,460 --> 00:23:00,590 Idaho. Or somewhere out there. They invited us to a party out at the park. 250 00:23:00,610 --> 00:23:04,900 The park? I don't know. My father is the head ranger. 251 00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:08,700 He'll catch us. He'll catch you? What is he? 252 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:11,630 A park ranger in a Woody Woodpecker cartoon? 253 00:23:11,650 --> 00:23:14,090 In about two hours, and I'll be ready. 254 00:23:14,110 --> 00:23:17,300 Okay, and don't worry about your dad. He probably got a bite somewhere else. 255 00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:22,740 Oh come on, Feeders? Take all you want, but eat all you take. 256 00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:25,150 Very wasteful. 257 00:23:29,170 --> 00:23:33,080 Close encounters of the AFFORDABLE kind. 258 00:23:40,790 --> 00:23:45,610 Dear, god. Kubota? This so-called all-American family is buying Japanese! 259 00:23:50,060 --> 00:23:53,920 Oh sorry. Sorry! I am just eight thumbs today. 260 00:24:01,210 --> 00:24:05,870 Gee, whiz. I hope I never inspire Barb from Stranger Things. 261 00:24:11,830 --> 00:24:14,140 The grimy, tennis shoes really 262 00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:17,670 complement the shapeless Fruit of the Loom tshirt. 263 00:24:17,690 --> 00:24:22,160 Top notch. ♪♪♪ 264 00:24:25,710 --> 00:24:29,730 The art department nailed what I thought her closet would look like. 265 00:24:29,750 --> 00:24:35,810 Gave it some thought, did ya? 266 00:24:35,830 --> 00:24:40,580 Yeah, gotta go buy some more Feeder traps. 267 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:44,680 Speaking of Feeders, guys. 268 00:24:44,700 --> 00:24:48,810 My eyes are just tucking in to this glorious visual feast. 269 00:24:48,830 --> 00:24:53,380 Yeah. 270 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:56,890 ♪♪♪ VERY low key game of kick the can. 271 00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:14,120 - ♪♪♪ - Yah! Feeder! Oh no. - Just her. Sorry. 272 00:25:14,140 --> 00:25:16,950 When she's done here, she has to go hang out with Peppermint Patty. 273 00:25:16,970 --> 00:25:22,860 Call her sir. 274 00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:27,640 Well, that exposed insulation IS pretty terrifying. 275 00:25:27,660 --> 00:25:30,450 Itching all over, already. 276 00:25:34,780 --> 00:25:36,470 Come on, you can do this. 277 00:25:36,490 --> 00:25:40,160 You've got your junior garage explorer's badge in Girl Scouts. 278 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:50,320 And Pinterest lost a valued poster of cat memes that day. 279 00:25:57,780 --> 00:26:01,140 Cookies!!! Num, num num num! 280 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:10,410 And???? I'm full. 281 00:26:17,780 --> 00:26:23,000 ♪♪♪ JFK cam. Sorry. Lashing out. 282 00:26:28,100 --> 00:26:32,200 Subway? I knew I smelled gross bread. 283 00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:43,480 This music implies that Lacey Chabert is starting a new life in a small town. 284 00:26:43,500 --> 00:26:46,930 Love. Again. 285 00:26:59,020 --> 00:27:01,820 Oh, I hope this is the lengthy check the 286 00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:04,950 anti-freeze they always show during Oscar reels. 287 00:27:04,970 --> 00:27:09,140 How about over there? Okay. 288 00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:11,310 You sure we didn't pass that Subway? 289 00:27:11,330 --> 00:27:14,670 Nope. I'm pretty sure it's down here, past this swamp. 290 00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:24,460 - Feeders. - Away. 291 00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:28,830 They've arrived at? Valley Lodge, I assume. 292 00:27:28,850 --> 00:27:33,650 ♪♪♪ Feeders. 293 00:27:33,670 --> 00:27:35,520 ♪♪♪ He was bitten by Steve Prefontaine, 294 00:27:35,540 --> 00:27:42,060 and now he's turning into a WERE-prefontaine. 295 00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:48,650 He's got LEGS!! And he knows how to use them! 296 00:27:48,670 --> 00:27:54,170 - No, he doesn't. - Was doing a good job. 297 00:27:54,190 --> 00:27:56,090 ♪♪♪ You know, it doesn't matter WHERE they're going. 298 00:27:56,110 --> 00:27:58,730 They're parked in a HORRIBLE place. 299 00:27:58,750 --> 00:28:01,970 What the hell? 300 00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:11,020 Would you just get to your destination??!! 301 00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:19,100 Meanwhile, at the dentist's office, that receives car accident victims. 302 00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:31,560 Ah, his long con for a free ghost costume is nearly complete. 303 00:28:39,260 --> 00:28:42,800 Well, your toe bone connected to your foot bone. 304 00:28:42,820 --> 00:28:45,180 Your foot bone connected to your heel bone. 305 00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:51,700 Hmm. I've been doing it all wrong! 306 00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:59,470 Top doctor? Or loan shark over by the Greyhound depot? 307 00:28:59,490 --> 00:29:06,330 That's it. I gotta get new blasted denim mom jeans. 308 00:29:13,970 --> 00:29:16,550 Let's see here. Which Charlie's Angel are you? 309 00:29:16,570 --> 00:29:22,680 Are you impetuous, like a Jill? Hmm. 310 00:29:22,700 --> 00:29:28,650 Well, that blew their special effects budget, so. Trees! 311 00:29:28,670 --> 00:29:33,320 ♪♪♪ God. 312 00:29:33,340 --> 00:29:38,490 Ahh. The runoff from a pig farm has never looked so charming. 313 00:29:38,510 --> 00:29:41,310 Gentle feeder. 314 00:29:41,330 --> 00:29:46,290 Feeders. 315 00:29:46,310 --> 00:29:50,140 Hmm. Not seeing any babes in skimpy bikinis? 316 00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:52,450 Well maybe this isn't the ocean? 317 00:29:52,470 --> 00:29:54,610 Hmm. 318 00:29:58,860 --> 00:30:02,700 Feeders, I love you. 319 00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:13,040 Mm hmm. So? Waaaaaaaa!!! is their main point. Seems to be. 320 00:30:17,930 --> 00:30:20,770 Wow. I can't believe we finally made it to Manhattan. 321 00:30:27,790 --> 00:30:31,100 I crave leg meat. Oh, that guy's disappointing. 322 00:30:36,810 --> 00:30:41,440 So that's when I made the decision to look like Parker Stevenson. 323 00:30:46,990 --> 00:30:54,560 What? Well, that badger isn't due for its prostate exam until 4 o'clock? 324 00:30:54,580 --> 00:31:01,270 Well dammit. I forgot how to walk. 325 00:31:01,290 --> 00:31:04,750 Yeah. 326 00:31:04,770 --> 00:31:10,540 ♪♪♪ Started forging diplomas, and just got carried away. 327 00:31:19,810 --> 00:31:23,320 ♪♪♪ Oh, Microsoft paint took a bite out of his corpse. 328 00:31:29,500 --> 00:31:32,860 Gah!! Still not as bad as my cat! 329 00:31:39,180 --> 00:31:42,250 I've seen better decor at a Rapid Oil Change. 330 00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:54,260 - Yep. Each actor had to do his own effects! - Wow. 331 00:31:56,780 --> 00:31:59,060 This is how Prince saw the world. 332 00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:02,410 The purple? And the shortness. Ah, of course. 333 00:32:10,860 --> 00:32:16,680 Boy, we sure did kill a guy today, but this makes it all worth it. 334 00:32:24,490 --> 00:32:28,580 Yeah, they left this in the video toaster a little too long. 335 00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:31,070 A bagel setting. 336 00:32:36,790 --> 00:32:42,310 Oh, you're NOT folding over the top third of your giant socks?? Nerd!!! 337 00:32:49,290 --> 00:32:53,380 I have a spare CPAP machine you can borrow. 338 00:32:57,040 --> 00:33:03,000 Who's out there? ♪♪♪ Answer me! 339 00:33:03,020 --> 00:33:06,270 Obey my obvious authority! 340 00:33:06,290 --> 00:33:10,510 Damn you, startled me! Geez, what's wrong with you? 341 00:33:10,530 --> 00:33:12,860 You look like you just saw a ghost? 342 00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:16,060 Something out here watching me? Didn't you hear it? 343 00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:20,230 Didn't you hear it watching him? No, I didn't hear anything. 344 00:33:20,250 --> 00:33:23,650 Making weird animal growls or something. 345 00:33:23,670 --> 00:33:28,140 There's a million animals out here. You probably just startled one. 346 00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:30,990 - Well, he is rather startling. - Mm hmm. 347 00:33:31,010 --> 00:33:35,920 Didn't sound like any animal I ever heard. Sounded? Unearthly. 348 00:33:35,940 --> 00:33:37,830 You wouldn't know the difference between 349 00:33:37,850 --> 00:33:40,350 a brown bear and hoot owl if it bit you on the ass. 350 00:33:40,370 --> 00:33:41,940 And now you're expecting me to believe 351 00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:45,770 you're hearing strange animal sounds, and they're watching you? Come on. 352 00:33:45,790 --> 00:33:48,390 He does a passable Weird Al impression. 353 00:33:53,420 --> 00:33:59,590 Ahhh! She's rising up out of hell! She's coming to kill us all!!!! 354 00:33:59,610 --> 00:34:01,950 I don't think that's perspective. 355 00:34:01,970 --> 00:34:05,300 It's a weird perspective there. 356 00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:10,000 ♪♪♪ Donna? Are you here? 357 00:34:10,020 --> 00:34:16,030 - Kevin] The director's vision? - Grimey tennis shoes. 358 00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:21,890 You thought the first scene of a woman creeping 359 00:34:21,910 --> 00:34:24,250 slowly around an ugly house was pointless and dull? 360 00:34:24,270 --> 00:34:29,680 Well, try the second one. 361 00:34:29,700 --> 00:34:36,420 She doesn't have giant wire rimmed glasses? 362 00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:39,920 How can they let her be in this movie??? 363 00:34:46,470 --> 00:34:50,470 Ahhh! Red stuff of some kind!!! 364 00:34:59,460 --> 00:35:03,300 Wow. So it's that easy? What the hell was wrong with everyone else?? 365 00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:08,870 Really. 366 00:35:08,890 --> 00:35:13,350 Tell Kukla, I'll see him in hell. 367 00:35:21,030 --> 00:35:25,200 Yeah, our species is filled with honey mustard, okay?? 368 00:35:25,220 --> 00:35:30,020 - She just wiped him out. - I know. 369 00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:34,110 ♪♪♪ Meanwhile, on the ground, next to someone's car, somewhere. 370 00:35:39,110 --> 00:35:42,830 Someone's car, where are you going? Oh, and who's driving you? 371 00:35:42,850 --> 00:35:46,250 And, where were you? 372 00:35:46,270 --> 00:35:48,760 There. Does that clear it all up, Bill? 373 00:35:48,780 --> 00:35:52,810 Ah, yes. It's 6:15. All is explained. 374 00:35:52,830 --> 00:35:56,740 - Yeah. - Thank you...someone's car. 375 00:35:56,760 --> 00:35:59,740 I sense a disturbance. 376 00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:04,750 That one of our kind was lightly tossed on a garage floor and stomped. 377 00:36:04,770 --> 00:36:09,170 Now I'm sensing that I'm his dentist. Hated that guy. 378 00:36:17,870 --> 00:36:20,020 I'm telling you. You're getting all worked up over nothing. 379 00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:23,090 Yeah, but it's 6:15, possibly 6:16 by now! 380 00:36:23,110 --> 00:36:25,870 Doesn't that mean anything to you?? 381 00:36:25,890 --> 00:36:29,210 Then what is it? Explain it to me. 382 00:36:29,230 --> 00:36:33,610 I don't know. I just FEEL it. 6:17. by the way. 383 00:36:38,670 --> 00:36:43,440 Sounds like a jet. Well, it was singing "I've got a crush on you." 384 00:36:43,460 --> 00:36:50,150 Man, that was a UFO!! It wasn't. 385 00:36:50,170 --> 00:36:51,860 It's like two stoners arguing whether 386 00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:54,440 or not Syd Barrett was the heart of Pink Floyd. 387 00:36:54,460 --> 00:36:56,730 He wasn't!! 388 00:36:56,750 --> 00:37:00,130 Hold it, hold it. Don't you think we're overreacting a little bit here? 389 00:37:00,150 --> 00:37:03,110 I mean, there has to be a natural explanation for all of this. 390 00:37:03,130 --> 00:37:06,230 Natural?? Why the hell don't you tell me what it is?? 391 00:37:06,250 --> 00:37:10,500 My exact thoughts about the Impossible Whopper. Let's bail. 392 00:37:15,780 --> 00:37:18,020 Right about now, all those shapely bikini babes 393 00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:21,970 are looking at their watches, going "Where ARE those guys?" 394 00:37:27,790 --> 00:37:29,150 There's a Feeder seeing this going, 395 00:37:29,170 --> 00:37:33,410 "Oh god! Do I really sound like that?" I'm mortified!" 396 00:37:37,890 --> 00:37:43,140 Just 9 1/2 more miles to our parking spot. 397 00:37:49,240 --> 00:37:53,540 Their car is now a toilet for raccoons. 398 00:37:53,560 --> 00:38:01,050 Eh, eh! Come on, bony knees! Let's get out of here! 399 00:38:08,540 --> 00:38:11,130 Dammit! No good! What's wrong? 400 00:38:11,150 --> 00:38:12,820 Won't start!! What do you mean? 401 00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:15,510 Weren't you here for this?? 402 00:38:15,530 --> 00:38:19,390 What do you mean? 403 00:38:19,410 --> 00:38:23,320 Time to use what I learned from that 404 00:38:23,340 --> 00:38:26,840 two-year Pep Boys correspondence school! 405 00:38:26,860 --> 00:38:30,950 Hmm? 406 00:38:30,970 --> 00:38:35,890 Must have been that saucer. 407 00:38:35,910 --> 00:38:39,460 I think we're gonna have to walk out of here. Is it safe? 408 00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:41,870 What a terrible Lawrence Olivier impression. 409 00:38:41,890 --> 00:38:44,180 Something had to be piloting that thing. 410 00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:47,870 Maybe what you saw earlier! What choice do we have? 411 00:38:47,890 --> 00:38:49,890 Let's just get what we need and go! 412 00:38:49,910 --> 00:38:58,280 Aww, that UFO's turning me into a real grumpy pants, I tell ya! 413 00:38:58,300 --> 00:39:01,810 Oh great. The movie's gone into sleep mode. 414 00:39:01,830 --> 00:39:06,120 Makes two of us. 415 00:39:06,140 --> 00:39:08,800 ♪♪♪ Dammit! 416 00:39:08,820 --> 00:39:11,520 What? The girls are probably on their way here right now! 417 00:39:11,540 --> 00:39:13,900 To meet strange men in a forest! 418 00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:17,360 Now what?? Hopefully, they'll see we're not there, and just go home. 419 00:39:17,380 --> 00:39:22,020 If we're lucky? Yeah, maybe we'll meet up with them, and hitch a ride into town. 420 00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:24,070 We'd better hurry up. It's getting dark. 421 00:39:24,090 --> 00:39:27,530 Darkness not pictured. 422 00:39:27,550 --> 00:39:30,000 Getting dark. 423 00:39:32,940 --> 00:39:37,220 Barney vision! 424 00:39:37,240 --> 00:39:42,640 ♪♪♪ Wait! Hold up, man! I can't go anymore! 425 00:39:42,660 --> 00:39:45,910 Can't stop now. Gotta keep going. We should have never left the road. 426 00:39:45,930 --> 00:39:48,160 We don't even know where we are! 427 00:39:48,180 --> 00:39:50,810 My best guess is Tempe, Arizona. 428 00:39:50,830 --> 00:39:53,520 It's okay. We'll get out of here. 429 00:39:57,570 --> 00:39:59,280 The Jason Bourne movies totally stole the 430 00:39:59,300 --> 00:40:02,960 shakey cam idea from the Polonia Brothers. 431 00:40:07,090 --> 00:40:10,730 Ah, the world famous, running of the dweebs! 432 00:40:17,770 --> 00:40:21,540 These guys make me long for the quiet dignity of Bill and Ted. 433 00:40:29,240 --> 00:40:32,930 Shit. Good summation of what we've seen so far. Yep. 434 00:40:32,950 --> 00:40:38,440 Derek? What the hell are you doing? I gotta take a rest. 435 00:40:38,460 --> 00:40:42,970 I'm dying here. Metaphorically. Not like that guy we actually killed. 436 00:40:49,810 --> 00:40:55,140 Oh, Yorick hasn't quite finished decomposing. 437 00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:58,300 It's like someone merged Kip Dynamite 438 00:40:58,320 --> 00:41:02,460 and his Uncle Rico into one person. 439 00:41:02,480 --> 00:41:09,000 What is that? Is that one of the girls? No, I can't tell. 440 00:41:09,020 --> 00:41:11,890 Maybe a bear did it. 441 00:41:11,910 --> 00:41:14,630 ♪♪♪ No bear did that. 442 00:41:14,650 --> 00:41:20,000 Bears only eat stolen picnic baskets. Everyone knows that. 443 00:41:23,700 --> 00:41:25,300 The National Park Service should never 444 00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:29,220 have hired these guys to make a commercial for them. 445 00:41:34,780 --> 00:41:37,200 A flying DVD! 446 00:41:37,220 --> 00:41:44,040 This is getting really strange. Almost seems as if it's scanning the area. 447 00:41:44,060 --> 00:41:48,600 Like some kind of scout ship. Looking for merit badges, I suspect. 448 00:41:48,620 --> 00:41:51,960 We're witnessing the beginning of an invasion! 449 00:41:51,980 --> 00:41:57,690 So? Want to know what they like to eat? Yeah, us! 450 00:41:57,710 --> 00:42:01,080 I blame Axe's bacon flavored body spray. 451 00:42:12,310 --> 00:42:14,880 Uh oh. The alien's aren't house trained! 452 00:42:21,570 --> 00:42:24,740 Are you okay? It's just a burn. 453 00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:27,470 I got way worse from removing Hot Pockets from the microwave. 454 00:42:27,490 --> 00:42:30,340 It's a nightmare! It's a fucking nightmare. 455 00:42:33,660 --> 00:42:35,710 Check out our mysterious visitors. 456 00:42:35,730 --> 00:42:39,870 My mom did a great job on the paper mache. I mean, aren't they scary??!! 457 00:42:39,890 --> 00:42:42,180 It's gonna be getting dark soon. 458 00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:47,350 We'd better find a place to hole up. Until morning. 459 00:42:47,370 --> 00:42:49,720 Yeah. Yeah, if there is a tomorrow. 460 00:42:49,740 --> 00:42:53,650 There'd better be. If not what will Tom Cruise be on the edge of? 461 00:42:59,310 --> 00:43:01,670 The popularity of jogging declined 462 00:43:01,690 --> 00:43:09,720 significantly after this movie came out. 463 00:43:09,740 --> 00:43:12,380 I wouldn't leave a camera behind if I were them. 464 00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:14,400 Never know when a woodland hermit might steal 465 00:43:14,420 --> 00:43:19,080 it and use it to start his own lifestyle vlog. 466 00:43:22,310 --> 00:43:25,720 It's too late. We've already missed the first five minutes of Step by Step. 467 00:43:25,740 --> 00:43:28,010 - Aww! - Dammit! 468 00:43:31,930 --> 00:43:35,120 In real life, this house is now home to the official Feeders museum. 469 00:43:35,140 --> 00:43:38,170 Real tourist hot spot. 470 00:43:38,190 --> 00:43:42,190 Thank god. Come on. 471 00:43:42,210 --> 00:43:46,430 People who live in secluded areas are usually cool with trespassers. 472 00:43:56,250 --> 00:43:58,680 Call, Triple A. Ugh. Ugh. 473 00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:13,190 ♪♪♪ Eat your heart out, JJ Abrams. 474 00:44:20,680 --> 00:44:23,050 So, I guess they've decided to take the decaying 475 00:44:23,070 --> 00:44:30,390 corpse as a good omen for this place? 476 00:44:30,410 --> 00:44:33,260 I'm disappointed. 477 00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:36,810 I wanted some Home Alone Two, paper clip in the groin action. 478 00:44:42,340 --> 00:44:47,920 Maybe I'll check the closet. See if I can find an even more boring shirt. 479 00:44:56,710 --> 00:45:01,770 Cosmo Kramer would NOT be pleased with that cautious entrance! 480 00:45:06,750 --> 00:45:09,260 I've GOT to get the name of the interior decorator. 481 00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:14,840 Hmm! 482 00:45:14,860 --> 00:45:20,170 Oh, the aliens aliens are acid freaks. 483 00:45:20,190 --> 00:45:24,900 We'd better check this place out real good. 484 00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:27,700 Make sure those things aren't here. 485 00:45:27,720 --> 00:45:31,380 Hummel figurines, I mean. You know how they terrify me. 486 00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:34,590 Yeah, definitely. 487 00:45:34,610 --> 00:45:40,080 Okay then. This is what we're gonna do. 488 00:45:40,100 --> 00:45:45,990 I'll check down here, you check upstairs. okay? 489 00:45:46,010 --> 00:45:50,670 We need some time apart to consider the state of our bromance. 490 00:45:57,510 --> 00:46:02,330 Ugh. I could be banging Marvin the martian's wife right now. 491 00:46:08,110 --> 00:46:11,930 Feel like we're watching a John Oates home movie. 492 00:46:18,150 --> 00:46:23,470 So far, his porn stash is by far, the most disturbing part of this film. 493 00:46:28,450 --> 00:46:31,080 Oh no! I smell Chocadiles! 494 00:46:31,100 --> 00:46:35,450 I can't afford to relapse into my Hostess addiction. Not now! 495 00:46:40,090 --> 00:46:41,300 I gotta hand it to them. 496 00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:46,200 They found a way to make Paranormal Activity look like a fast paced thrill ride! 497 00:46:52,980 --> 00:46:57,920 - Entire lighting budget right here. - Yes. 498 00:47:03,690 --> 00:47:06,000 Okay. Not sure why he needs a candle? 499 00:47:06,020 --> 00:47:10,010 Electricity seems to be working fine for the lamp right back there. 500 00:47:15,620 --> 00:47:20,120 Pretending I'm at an Enya concert! Yeah! Orinoco Flow! 501 00:47:26,430 --> 00:47:31,040 Eh! Untidy stairs! The horror! 502 00:47:37,390 --> 00:47:39,360 Well the Blair Witch is sure taking her sweet time in murdering them! 503 00:47:39,380 --> 00:47:42,020 Come on! 504 00:47:44,060 --> 00:47:50,100 Somebody kicked the map into the strangest, you know? Complications. 505 00:47:50,120 --> 00:47:52,780 Ugh. He's not gonna hold onto the banister for safety? 506 00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:55,530 My god! I can't look! 507 00:48:04,380 --> 00:48:09,790 Increased synthesizer volume, IS the same thing as drama, right? 508 00:48:18,130 --> 00:48:19,870 What's that, candle? You think we should ditch him, 509 00:48:19,890 --> 00:48:24,780 and start a new life together? I don't know. I'll have to think about it, candle. 510 00:48:30,630 --> 00:48:34,560 Ebenezer SCROOGING was a huge fad back in the 90s. 511 00:48:34,580 --> 00:48:38,100 But true Scrooge heads wear a night cap and gown while doing it. 512 00:48:38,120 --> 00:48:42,860 This guy's kind of a poser. Love a good Scrooging. 513 00:48:46,210 --> 00:48:48,070 I should probably have lit the vanilla scented candle, 514 00:48:48,090 --> 00:48:55,210 instead of this skunk one. 515 00:48:55,230 --> 00:48:59,570 Ugh. Taco Bell wrappers everywhere! 516 00:48:59,590 --> 00:49:03,620 Ugh. And is that mild sauce on the ceiling? 517 00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:09,840 This is like War of the Worlds, 518 00:49:09,860 --> 00:49:13,950 if H.G. Wells had undergone a frontal lobotomy before writing it. 519 00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:24,640 Giant tortoises are watching this saying 520 00:49:24,660 --> 00:49:29,090 "Hey? Speed it up, will ya?" 521 00:49:35,290 --> 00:49:40,300 Oh! severed hand! That officially makes this a Star Wars movie. 522 00:49:45,940 --> 00:49:50,390 Oh! You book an AirBNB. Get what you get. 523 00:49:57,830 --> 00:50:01,790 Darkness. It's blue. 524 00:50:08,900 --> 00:50:11,860 And maybe fashion models ARE too thin these days. 525 00:50:17,900 --> 00:50:20,880 Well, the bloody arm is CONCERNING, but I hate to judge 526 00:50:20,900 --> 00:50:28,640 too quickly and miss out on our dream home. 527 00:50:28,660 --> 00:50:30,480 I know I always feel more comfortable in a room 528 00:50:30,500 --> 00:50:33,870 where my shirt matches the wall. 529 00:50:36,900 --> 00:50:38,970 Oh. 530 00:50:38,990 --> 00:50:40,610 Come on. 531 00:50:40,630 --> 00:50:41,990 Okay, Phillip Baker Hall could have completed 532 00:50:42,010 --> 00:50:46,540 a triathlon in the time it took them to search 15 square feet of this level! 533 00:50:51,770 --> 00:50:54,900 Oh yeah. You gotta have a wallsicle. 534 00:51:01,650 --> 00:51:04,780 Gas station romance. Vertical strips of light. 535 00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:07,350 A guy who looks a little bit like Judge Reinhold, 536 00:51:07,370 --> 00:51:11,290 slowly descending a flight of stairs. Feeders has it all! 537 00:51:11,310 --> 00:51:15,340 AFI list, here we come. 538 00:51:15,360 --> 00:51:17,670 Yeah. 539 00:51:17,690 --> 00:51:24,310 Look what I found. We can use this in case of a close encounter. Definitely. 540 00:51:24,330 --> 00:51:30,540 And, if you come across any wheat, you can harvest the HELL out of it! 541 00:51:30,560 --> 00:51:36,970 It's so quiet out there. I know. 542 00:51:36,990 --> 00:51:41,210 It's so quiet, John Kransinky and Emily Blunt are living in the backyard! 543 00:51:41,230 --> 00:51:44,170 Ha ha! Hey ho! Quiet. 544 00:51:44,190 --> 00:51:47,850 Get you to a hospital. It burns. 545 00:51:47,870 --> 00:51:50,500 - also, when I pee. - But that's unrelated. 546 00:51:50,520 --> 00:51:52,120 Some sort of weapon. 547 00:51:52,140 --> 00:51:54,420 A HAWS-pital. 548 00:51:54,440 --> 00:52:01,050 Oh come on. 549 00:52:01,070 --> 00:52:04,320 Hugh Laurie! No wait. That's a literal house. 550 00:52:04,340 --> 00:52:08,940 - Different thing. - Yeah. 551 00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:15,200 You know? If you need a new hand, I know where to find one. 552 00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:26,930 I'm so jealous of your white bubbly stigmata. 553 00:52:33,080 --> 00:52:39,680 - I'm scared man. - What if we can never play patty cake again? 554 00:52:39,700 --> 00:52:44,810 Shh! Shh! 555 00:52:44,830 --> 00:52:48,820 If your uncle finds out we're filming in his house while he's asleep, we're dead. 556 00:52:54,030 --> 00:52:58,780 Thought I heard something. Where? 557 00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:00,040 I don't know. 558 00:53:00,060 --> 00:53:03,110 But we'd better slowly explore the house for another forty five minutes. 559 00:53:03,130 --> 00:53:06,630 Oh god. 560 00:53:10,630 --> 00:53:12,880 Cornea cam? Not my favorite cam. 561 00:53:16,360 --> 00:53:22,280 - Mustache and tooth cam? - No. 562 00:53:26,390 --> 00:53:30,220 Gah! Kill it! Not an alien. I know. 563 00:53:35,100 --> 00:53:40,210 He's already given himself SO much tetanus with that thing! 564 00:53:47,640 --> 00:53:52,140 She wore that red shirt her whole life. Added the glasses later. 565 00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:54,790 RIP Donna. 566 00:53:57,660 --> 00:53:59,720 Hey! You guys know where the remote is? 567 00:54:00,960 --> 00:54:02,580 What the hell?? 568 00:54:06,790 --> 00:54:14,900 Not quite Children of the Corn. He's an indoor kid of the corn. 569 00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:22,900 Hmm. Anyone else feel like snapping into a Slim Jim? 570 00:54:22,920 --> 00:54:26,550 Fucker! He does the same thing after he 571 00:54:26,570 --> 00:54:30,150 beats a 7 year old, playing Mario Kart online. 572 00:54:37,430 --> 00:54:42,400 Just realized one 900 charges here won't go to his home bill. 573 00:54:42,420 --> 00:54:50,570 Figures. It's dead. 574 00:54:50,590 --> 00:54:56,860 The party line, I mean. No local babes looking to chat at all. 575 00:54:56,880 --> 00:55:00,580 So, these aliens traveled across space 576 00:55:00,600 --> 00:55:04,170 just to eat some human meat, and get high off electricity? 577 00:55:04,190 --> 00:55:07,430 They're dumb, but they know how to party! 578 00:55:11,720 --> 00:55:13,430 Well, typically at this hour, these guys 579 00:55:13,450 --> 00:55:15,720 are staring at a Ron Popeil infomercial, 580 00:55:15,740 --> 00:55:19,720 and wondering where it all went wrong. 581 00:55:19,740 --> 00:55:25,050 Shit. 582 00:55:25,070 --> 00:55:29,650 The ship is back at the place where we've never been! 583 00:55:35,060 --> 00:55:39,440 Ah, wait. Never mind. It's just the Domino's Pizza guy with his high beams on. 584 00:55:42,470 --> 00:55:45,880 Dear god. Help us all. 585 00:55:45,900 --> 00:55:47,880 God can't hear anyone tonight. 586 00:55:47,900 --> 00:55:52,080 - God here. I can totally hear you. - I just don't care. 587 00:55:55,060 --> 00:55:57,080 It's crashing! 588 00:55:57,100 --> 00:55:58,790 Yeah, the only thing crashing is the 589 00:55:58,810 --> 00:56:02,770 Apple 2E computer running that animation. 590 00:56:07,430 --> 00:56:11,480 Tell my virginity, I was never gonna lose it anyway. 591 00:56:17,340 --> 00:56:19,240 Scatter some Combo fragments 592 00:56:19,260 --> 00:56:22,990 on him, and this is just a normal Saturday night. 593 00:56:30,170 --> 00:56:32,800 Oh, dammit, I slept on my arm. 594 00:56:32,820 --> 00:56:37,230 Which is not a big deal, because my arm is as thick as a pencil. 595 00:56:40,730 --> 00:56:44,800 Very subtle Snyders of Hanover product placement back there. 596 00:56:44,820 --> 00:56:48,110 Snyder of Berlin fought them tooth and nail for the contract, 597 00:56:48,130 --> 00:56:51,530 but lost out in the end. Hanover! 598 00:56:57,600 --> 00:56:59,500 Come on! Come on! 599 00:56:59,520 --> 00:57:04,080 Whoa. Intimidating. 600 00:57:06,180 --> 00:57:12,220 They sent the ONLY aliens this guy could defeat. Is that the best you can do?? 601 00:57:14,720 --> 00:57:16,970 They screen savered him to death. 602 00:57:22,450 --> 00:57:27,570 Uh oh. He got pulled into a lesser Doctor Who episode from the 80s. 603 00:57:30,870 --> 00:57:34,070 No! Don't use the floss on me! It hurts! 604 00:57:34,090 --> 00:57:36,690 Oh shut up, you big baby. 605 00:57:41,930 --> 00:57:46,050 Captain, our pro computer says this man is the sexiest being on the planet. 606 00:57:46,070 --> 00:57:49,510 Uh? We may need to reboot that thing. 607 00:57:53,590 --> 00:57:56,800 It's like a flushing toilet took human form. 608 00:58:03,540 --> 00:58:12,010 Ugh. Another Nestle's Quik hangover. It's time to admit I've got a problem. 609 00:58:12,030 --> 00:58:16,910 Bennett? I can't immediately detect his stench! He must be missing. 610 00:58:24,380 --> 00:58:27,940 The door knob? But that couldn't possibly be Bennett. 611 00:58:27,960 --> 00:58:32,210 He lacks the upper body strength to turn one. 612 00:58:38,260 --> 00:58:41,530 Well, it's trying the door. So, it's probably not the Kool Aid man. 613 00:58:41,550 --> 00:58:43,210 That's a useful analysis, though. 614 00:58:43,230 --> 00:58:45,910 I'm just narrowing it down for us. 615 00:58:50,690 --> 00:58:53,660 Good. It's rude to make evil wait outside. 616 00:58:58,920 --> 00:59:03,540 Wow. It turned the door knob while the screen door was closed. Impressive. 617 00:59:06,170 --> 00:59:12,330 ♪♪♪ Derek? 618 00:59:12,350 --> 00:59:15,850 Help me. Bennett. Jesus! 619 00:59:15,870 --> 00:59:19,570 Sorry it took me so long to distinguish you from a horrible alien monster. 620 00:59:19,590 --> 00:59:24,120 But you know, look at yourself! Careful. Sit down. 621 00:59:24,140 --> 00:59:27,790 What happened? 622 00:59:27,810 --> 00:59:29,720 Are we still virgins? 623 00:59:29,740 --> 00:59:33,620 Took me on the ship. They tortured me. 624 00:59:33,640 --> 00:59:39,690 There's someone out there! Maybe it's help! 625 00:59:39,710 --> 00:59:40,990 Or THE Help? 626 00:59:41,010 --> 00:59:43,940 I love that scene where that lady eats poo poo pie. 627 00:59:54,220 --> 00:59:56,730 Who the hell are you?! 628 00:59:56,750 --> 01:00:00,670 And how are you so unbelievably handsome?? 629 01:00:00,690 --> 01:00:05,780 Kill him! He's one of those aliens. Listen to me, man. 630 01:00:05,800 --> 01:00:08,650 I don't know what that is over there, but it's not me. 631 01:00:08,670 --> 01:00:13,230 I'm the real Bennett. Look! I'm bleeding! 632 01:00:13,250 --> 01:00:16,170 So am I. Kill him! 633 01:00:16,190 --> 01:00:19,280 He's always bragging about how he can bleed. Kill both of them! 634 01:00:19,300 --> 01:00:22,610 Yeah. 635 01:00:22,630 --> 01:00:28,290 Naw! Quit it! No! you quit it!! Naw. 636 01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:33,700 It's like that time Urkel and Stefan 637 01:00:33,720 --> 01:00:36,760 Urkel beat each other with hammers. 638 01:00:42,550 --> 01:00:45,950 - Hey! Nobody needed to see this shot! - Oh boy. 639 01:00:52,340 --> 01:00:54,770 Okay. Okay. There's gotta be some simple, 640 01:00:54,790 --> 01:00:58,180 rational way, to figure out, who is in fact the real. 641 01:00:58,200 --> 01:01:01,390 Oh!! You can just start hacking. Straight to that. Hacking's good. 642 01:01:01,410 --> 01:01:03,050 Hacking's great. 643 01:01:06,700 --> 01:01:10,580 - Thanks, I guess. But geez. - You didn't even hesitate. 644 01:01:14,490 --> 01:01:16,420 Yeah, there comes a point in every road trip, 645 01:01:16,440 --> 01:01:18,170 where you fantasize about chopping up a clone 646 01:01:18,190 --> 01:01:20,220 of your annoying traveling companion. 647 01:01:20,240 --> 01:01:23,030 and who might be your actual annonying traveling companion. 648 01:01:23,050 --> 01:01:28,630 Not a clone! But you don't really care. Boy, howdy. You got that right. 649 01:01:34,380 --> 01:01:39,310 Tasting the blood? Cool or not cool? What do you think, good buddy? 650 01:01:47,980 --> 01:01:50,970 Hold it. How do I know you're him? 651 01:01:50,990 --> 01:01:54,640 Wait. That's just occurring to you NOW??? 652 01:01:54,660 --> 01:01:58,660 Come on, we've gotta get out of here before more of those things come. 653 01:01:58,680 --> 01:02:02,570 Those things, with the glasses and mustache. 654 01:02:02,590 --> 01:02:06,270 Just reconsidering his decision. 655 01:02:06,290 --> 01:02:09,910 In the third grade, you fell down and chipped your front teeth. 656 01:02:09,930 --> 01:02:15,450 I stayed in the nurse's office all day with you. You wanted to cry so bad. 657 01:02:15,470 --> 01:02:19,320 But you didn't. Who else would know that but me? 658 01:02:19,340 --> 01:02:23,800 Ah, good point. If I kill you, that embarassing memory will go away forever. 659 01:02:23,820 --> 01:02:25,470 Chop, chop, chop!! 660 01:02:25,490 --> 01:02:27,810 Come on, help me. 661 01:02:33,970 --> 01:02:37,880 ♪♪♪ I'm glad that wasn't me out there you were hacking up. So am I. 662 01:02:37,900 --> 01:02:41,000 But again, it was completely by chance. 50/50 shot. 663 01:02:41,020 --> 01:02:43,800 Totally random. 664 01:02:43,820 --> 01:02:48,330 We've got to get into town. We've gotta talk to somebody. Anybody. 665 01:02:48,350 --> 01:02:52,730 Hey! It sounds like the girls are finally here! 666 01:02:52,750 --> 01:02:57,080 Aww. They just want to do the cha cha slide. 667 01:03:04,190 --> 01:03:07,940 - Uh? Cool reaction, guys. Thanks. - Cut! Very good. 668 01:03:10,880 --> 01:03:19,010 Yeah. keep STANDING at them. That should do the trick. 669 01:03:19,030 --> 01:03:22,640 We love to shake, baby! 670 01:03:22,660 --> 01:03:24,850 Yeah!! 671 01:03:24,870 --> 01:03:30,290 There's so many of them! There are two of them. 672 01:03:30,310 --> 01:03:33,850 Then why fight them? 673 01:03:40,090 --> 01:03:45,600 Put away the Mr. Microphone, Bennett. You're not scaring anyone. 674 01:03:45,620 --> 01:03:49,090 ♪♪♪ What? What? 675 01:03:49,110 --> 01:03:51,220 ♪♪♪ So much to do. 676 01:03:51,240 --> 01:03:54,520 Nintendo speed runs, mostly. 677 01:03:54,540 --> 01:03:58,470 What are you?? You're not Bennett! 678 01:03:58,490 --> 01:04:03,590 You killed Bennett. Your race is so primitive. 679 01:04:03,610 --> 01:04:07,720 Well, I'd argue that killing Bennett is the mark of a high civilization. 680 01:04:07,740 --> 01:04:10,720 No! Base line. 681 01:04:10,740 --> 01:04:13,550 ♪♪♪ We came here from many light years away. 682 01:04:13,570 --> 01:04:17,580 With a simple reason, survive. 683 01:04:17,600 --> 01:04:20,550 Such a long trip. He should have Postmated humanity. 684 01:04:20,570 --> 01:04:25,700 ♪♪♪ More food? Even miss taste and. 685 01:04:25,720 --> 01:04:33,700 Uh oh. Get Bennett's epi pen. He must have breathed in some peanut dust. 686 01:04:39,760 --> 01:04:42,410 No fireworks screen saver this time? 687 01:04:42,430 --> 01:04:46,210 Whatever happened to showmanship? Pizazz! 688 01:04:48,760 --> 01:04:51,880 We'll just be here doing this!! It's the only thing we know how to do! 689 01:04:51,900 --> 01:04:54,900 We love it! 690 01:04:54,920 --> 01:04:59,090 6:01am. Our hero finds himself wandering into 691 01:04:59,110 --> 01:05:03,740 the video for Hungry Like the Wolf. 692 01:05:07,450 --> 01:05:12,070 - Running with one hand in your pocket? - It makes you go faster? 693 01:05:15,480 --> 01:05:17,230 Putting the camera on the ground. 694 01:05:17,250 --> 01:05:20,570 When your kid sister borrows your tripod for a project, and leaves it at school. 695 01:05:20,590 --> 01:05:24,240 Consider, putting the camera, on the ground. 696 01:05:30,140 --> 01:05:32,000 Uh? Pretty sure they're not even chasing you, dude. 697 01:05:32,020 --> 01:05:35,300 You could take a little breather, maybe catch some breakfast? 698 01:05:40,970 --> 01:05:44,640 Listen everyone! Please! You have to believe me! The aliens killed Bennett! 699 01:05:44,660 --> 01:05:47,100 Yay! Good! 700 01:05:52,860 --> 01:05:55,790 Um? What's he limping from again? 701 01:05:55,810 --> 01:05:58,000 Can't remember. 702 01:05:58,020 --> 01:06:02,060 Probably gout from living on nothing but cans of Chef Boyardee. 703 01:06:02,080 --> 01:06:04,400 That would do it. 704 01:06:08,570 --> 01:06:12,860 What? Is that supposed to be in the same town he's in? 705 01:06:23,380 --> 01:06:26,530 Okay. So the aliens are collapsing our buildings, 706 01:06:26,550 --> 01:06:30,590 and crushing everyone inside, because they want to, eat us?? 707 01:06:34,390 --> 01:06:36,370 They have the power to do this, and yet 708 01:06:36,390 --> 01:06:38,170 they spent the whole movie, chasing down people, 709 01:06:38,190 --> 01:06:41,100 one by one, like rabid squirrels? 710 01:06:41,120 --> 01:06:45,870 No. No!! No!!! 711 01:06:45,890 --> 01:06:49,630 You maniacs! you blew it up! And also you watched all of Feeders! 712 01:06:49,650 --> 01:06:53,840 Which is kind of worse. You maniacs! 713 01:06:57,250 --> 01:07:00,300 Yeah, this is how I reacted when I learned there was a Feeders Two. 714 01:07:00,320 --> 01:07:03,180 No. Which we will be doing. Aww! 715 01:07:08,140 --> 01:07:11,700 Just look at those Feeders! Feeding away, by blowing everything up. 716 01:07:11,720 --> 01:07:16,010 Feeding! ♪♪♪ 717 01:07:18,960 --> 01:07:23,190 Huh. So I guess that's it for the movie, and the planet Earth. 718 01:07:23,210 --> 01:07:27,110 Well, based on what we saw of Earth in this movie, Earth had it coming. 719 01:07:27,130 --> 01:07:31,160 Grim, but fair. And hey folks, if you happen to FEED on this movie, 720 01:07:31,180 --> 01:07:36,330 from anywhere other than our site, the sanctioned place for feeding, please head over 721 01:07:36,350 --> 01:07:41,100 to our donate page, and FEED it on back. So we can keep on? 722 01:07:41,120 --> 01:07:43,920 Uh? Feeding? I might have? 723 01:07:43,940 --> 01:07:47,720 - No, no. - No that all tracks. So long everyone! See you next time. 724 01:07:47,740 --> 01:07:51,990 Feed. 61112

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