All language subtitles for My.Next.Guest.Needs.No.Introduction.w.David.Letterman.S05E00.Adam.Sandler.1080p.HEVC.x265-MeGusta

This guitar here is the one that my
daddy got me when I was 12. This is a

Fender. It's a Stratocaster. Before
this, I had a Radio Shack guitar. It was

red one. And I played with that, and I
was fine with that. But I was taking

lessons at a place called Ted Herbert's
in Manchester, New Hampshire.

And I walked by the window, and I saw
this one. I was like, holy shit, I would

love a guitar like that. So I told my
dad about it.

He said, if I learn Malaguena note for
note, he'll get it for me.

I learned it, showed it to him like a
year later. He said, okay, you got it.

the guitar. Let me tell you something.

You've done us all kind of a good thing
and a sad thing. We don't need any more

from you than that story about your dad
buying you that guitar and you working

with it every night. So you and your dad
are still on stage. That's true. That's

fantastic.

So we're done here. All right, that's a
wrap.

We're done with the Adam Sandler thing.
Good night, everybody.

Drive safely.

Thank you very much.

How are you and hello?

Okay.

Thank you. It's nice to see everybody
here. Great to be at NYU. A lot of folks

here, students at NYU.

All right. Somewhere, somehow, you're
going to get credit for being here this

afternoon. It was all my doing.

I am so excited about the person that's
going to come out, because to me this is

more like a homecoming than anything.
And I've gotten to know this man over,

geez, 30 years I've known of him and
known about him. And now here recently

gotten to know more and more about the
man, and I am delighted to be here this

afternoon in this location and have a
pleasant visit.

Ladies and gentlemen, NYU graduate Adam
the Sandman Sandler.

Love you, buddy.

Hello. Hello.

Adam, have a seat. Okay, David.

I'm so excited to see you. I'm so
excited to spend time with you. And I

confess, the more time we spend
together, the more I have come to be

fond of you. Does that happen to you?
No.

No, it's the opposite usually. But no,
Dave, you know how much I love you. I've

done. david show over the years i know
you don't like me saying nice stuff to

you to you it's hard it's hard to get
compliments but you to my generation and

every comedian my age you're our hero we
i when i was doing thank you he doesn't

like hearing compliments but but david
like when i would do your show i did the

nbc and the cbs and uh which did you
like better i loved them both i couldn't

believe both times every time i did your
show All day long, I was in a full

panic. I was like, I have to make David
happy. I have to make sure he laughs at

least once. That's so kind of you to
say.

So NYU, you went to NYU here. Tell us
about, first of all, what did you do

before NYU? What kind of a kid were you?
You've got to be smart to get into NYU.

Well, I was in the acting program, so
not as smart.

Now what does that say about actors?

And well, back then, I really, you want
to know the truth about NYU and my

auditioning? I auditioned for NYU.

I knew nothing about, I didn't know what
I was going to major in. And I didn't,

I never even thought about it. And then
I said, I was filling out applications

for like six schools.

And I kept saying major. And I was like,
what should I major in? I don't know.

And I asked my brother, what should I
major in? He said, maybe you should be

actor. And I said, there's an acting.

Major? He goes, yeah, yeah, some schools
have that. It wasn't gigantic like it

is now.

It was just kind of just starting to be.
But becoming an actor had not crossed

your mind prior to the suggestion from
your brother?

I was in a couple of plays as a kid, and
I was in West Side Story in the town,

and I kind of enjoyed it. And then, oh,
I sang at my sister's wedding.

I sang at my sister's wedding, and I
liked that feeling.

Like, I went on stage, I sang, you're
16.

Ringo Starr.

My father, when I got home, was like,
hey, that was terrific.

Good job.

And I was like, oh, Daddy liked that.
Okay, let me do some more of that.

Oh, Daddy liked that.

What were you like as a college kid in
New York City? I mean, that, to me, is

far from the typical college experience
as one might get. What was it like for

you? Were you a good student? Were you
always funny? Were you late? Were you

drunk? What did you do?

I was pretty good. I wanted to do well.
You took acting classes right away? I

studied at Strasburg School here at NYU.
Yes, it was awesome, man, and I made a

lot of good friends there.

Lee Strasburg, who is a god in the world
of lesbian activity?

Absolutely, and his whole staff up at
the school. I used to walk up to Union

Square Park and go to class, and all the
other students, we'd all get to do

scene work together and sense memory.

Stuff like that. And I was learning from
scratch. I knew nothing about it. I

probably didn't know who Lee Strasberg
was when I was a kid.

This wasn't a thing where I was like...

Like a lot of, I'm sure, students here
knew exactly what they were getting

I was kind of like, I guess I'll do
that. I guess I'll learn about this. And

then the more I learned, the more
excited I got and stuff like that. Did

come before you were a stand -up or the
same time?

Stand -up first.

I was a high school kid. I did stand
-up. My brother brought me. He was going

Boston University.

And he said there's a comedy night at...

clubs in town you should do that and i
said i said yeah yeah yeah good and then

one night we're eating dinner with my
family and he says are you ready to do

that stand -up comedy thing and i said
yeah when is that he goes tonight i told

you and i said okay he goes do you know
what you're going to say i said no no no

i don't and he goes all right well it's
five minutes and i said all right i can

do that i'll talk about grandma

And what does that mean? I'll talk about
grandma.

Around my house, I would try to sound
like my grandmother and make my father

laugh. And so I was like, let me bring
that on to the stage. Can we hear a

little grandma now?

Oh, yeah.

Truth was, one time my grandma, this is
a big story in my house. I was in

Florida visiting and I took a shower in
the morning and I did my day. And then

that night I was taking another shower.
My grandmother said.

You take a lot of showers.

And I said, yes, yes. She goes, I think
you're masturbating in there.

I swear to God. So I told my... Well,
there's your five minutes right there.

I didn't use that, but I should have.
But that was a big famous story in my

house. So your grandmother and your
parents and your family were all very

supportive of whatever it was that lay
ahead of you, lie ahead of you. My

was very supportive. My father was
always kind of looking at me like...

You sure about this? But everybody else
was just like, yeah, Adam's terrific.

Anyway, getting back to the five minutes
of the Boston Comedy Club, do you

remember the five minutes?

No, but I do remember I was
devastatingly bad, and nobody laughed.

And I was five minutes of just silence,
and at the very end, I heard a man say,

he's wearing a retainer.

And that was it. I didn't do well, and I
went home that night. But when I drove

home that night with my brother, I was
like...

That was awesome.

He was like, you like that? I said, that
was incredible. He goes, you have to

write jokes.

I said, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
Because I saw the other comedians before

were incredible. They were so funny. And
Steve Sweeney, I remember, was the

emcee. And he was just crushing.

And the audience loved him. By the time
I got up there, there were no laughs to

be had.

So now I have this image of you as
anybody in this area.

goes through, where it's just not coming
together. But shortly thereafter, was

it a short period of time when it was
starting to be reinforced?

You know what I did, which I recommend
to everybody?

I told my friends in my hometown I was
going to be huge.

So I put this crazy pressure on myself.

They were all like, what are you doing?
I said, I'm going to be a standout. I'm

going to be bigger than Eddie Murphy.

They were like, you are?

I said, I promise you. Were you joking
about that?

I was just some weirdo. I was just being
cocky. I don't know why I did that. I

put this thing, and every time I'd call
my buddies in New Hampshire, they'd be

like, how's that going? I'd be like,
great, great. Even though I was doing

complete shit up there, nobody was
laughing. I still wasn't getting my

yet, but I couldn't tell my buddies I
sucked yet. So, now, did this motivate

in any way, or is this just a way to
shut your pals up?

I think it motivated me to not want to
fail in front of them and my family and

all that stuff. And I was just, I was
determined. I don't even know what I was

determined to do. I was just like, got
to get this done. I want to get on. I

think I even said I got to get on
Saturday Night Live when I was like 17.

started talking about that to my friend.

So my roommate at NYU was...

great kid, Tim Herlihy.

He was a business major.

Had nothing to do with what I was doing.

He said, what are you majoring in? I
said, I'm going to be an actor. I said,

what are you going to do? He goes, I'm
going to be rich.

And I go, okay, cool, man. I'm glad you
mentioned him. You've had the good

fortune to be roommates with some
important people in your life. And Tim

Herlihy, to this very day, is important
to you in your life. Explain that

relationship now.

Well, this guy just...

wasn't a comedian he had nothing to do
with that but we liked all the same

movies we loved you we loved uh
caddyshack we we used to quote all these

that that uh the jerk you know stuff
like that we just we had the same taste

know and he just for no reason went home
to poughkeepsie Our first weekend at

school, you know how first weekend's a
big deal?

You get there, you meet everybody,
you're playing on partying with each

getting to know each other.

Tim Herlihy, I was like, what are we
going to do Friday? He goes, I'm going

home. I was like, you're going home?
What do you mean? He goes, oh, no, I'm

going to go see my family.

I was like, jeez, man, my roommate feels
like a bore.

But then he came back Sunday night, and
he goes, oh, here.

And he gave me these.

three pieces of yellow paper, two or
three pieces, and it had all these

He goes, I wrote you some jokes because
you said you didn't know what you were

going to say up there.

And I go, you wrote jokes? Good.

And then I read them. I go, okay, I'll
do this. I didn't know if they were good

or bad, but I was kind of giggling at
it.

And I said, all right, I'll say this.

And I go, you want to be my writer? He
goes, yeah, I could do that.

And then that was it. And I said, how do
I pay you?

And he said there used to be a place
called Astor Riviera down here. They

to have Cozy's and Astor Riviera were
like great hamburger places. He goes, if

you get me a hamburger after every show,
we'll be even. That's how we did it.

Wow. And that's still his remuneration
today, isn't it? He wants more now.

Okay,

I guess I don't know where I'm going.

Hi. I was looking for the green room. Is
that right? Right this way.

David, I heard that the show last night
was fantastic. It was solid. People are

talking about it. I did good. We went
into Uncasville. That's all they're

talking about. That's right.

What a spot.

I didn't say Uncasville on stage last
night because I was afraid I was going

say it wrong, so I kept saying
Connecticut.

How could you say Uncasville
incorrectly? I just get, I panic on

I did say Connecticut, and I said
Mohegan Sun, and then I was right about

Uncasville, and I was like, I'm going to
say it wrong. You got scared. Yeah,

because God forbid you mispronounce
Uncasville. Yeah, that could turn the

show. Exactly.

There he is. Get him. Oh, there.

Last time I did a show with Noor.

at the Mohegan.

All of us together.

I'm with Spade tonight, but last night
Schneider was here, and we were like, we

were just pointing at different spots
where Norm did insane, funny shit.

And this was a big gambling night here
at the Mohegan. He woke up the next day

little, what the hell happened? I had a
bad night. We were all like, that was

funny. He's like, it was?

He had a bad night here at the Mohegan,
man.

Yeah. What do you do now?

Usually on a day like this, I go play
basketball, which I already did because

didn't want to. Where did you go? I went
to some high school around here. What

happens is I take a couple of my buddies
here, and then whatever town I'm in, a

couple of either dudes or great women.

A couple of dudes or great women. Great.
Like Division I ladies show up and

dominate me. Half court, full court.

Most of the time, three on three. Three
on three. Try to get a sweat. Try not to

get hurt.

That's the only instruction to some of
the people we play with. Try not to hurt

the fan, man, they say. And then they
play light.

And then I say, no, you can do more than
that. See, I have so many things I want

to talk to you about. But here's my
problem. I thought I knew you because we

have known each other forever.

Yes. My first time on your show, I was
22, I believe.

22, just got out of NYU.

Got to do your show. Will Chamberlain
scored 100 points in one basketball

That's a lot of points for one game,
isn't it? 100 points for one game.

I'd like to do an impression for you.
This is the four other fellows on the

with Wilt during a timeout.

Hey, I'm open, man.

What are you doing?

Pass the ball.

I got my family here.

You got like 94 points already.

Ed has two. That's because you bounced
it off his head.

Just share the wealth a little.

Here's my impression of the coach on the
other team.

Who's covering wealth?

I was going to Philadelphia that night.
It was a...

Colin Quinn, Judd Apatow, a couple other
comedians, we were doing this benefit

in Philly. And I said, I'm doing David
Letterman. Everybody couldn't believe

I did your show, and it went reasonably
well. And I'd never forget.

on the train to Philly that night. I was
just sitting there smiling the whole

trip. And then I saw those other
comedians. They were like, how did it

like, I think I did good. I think I did.
It was like the biggest, biggest thing.

Good for you. Thank you for that. And
good for me because I'm flattered by

because it's meaningful to me. Yes. But
regardless of your impression, our

impression was a star is born.

Yeah. An unusual star. Well, yes. You
always made fun of me in the best way.

no. I'm not making fun of you. That was
my honest impression. When you brought

me out there, you'd always say,
Something's wrong with his brain.

He's getting brain damage.

I never said that. You can never be
certain as to what makes a person tick.

with our first guest, I think it might
be discount medication.

Quite frankly, it may not be hooked up
right. Albeit a rather odd man. The

talented, the odd, Adam Sandler. Adam?

And my parents would talk about that,
and all my friends were like, Letterman

likes you. He likes you because he's
making money. It was like the greatest.

Yeah. Now, here's my version of this.
Yeah. Because we've known each other for

so long, and I don't know how many years
ago that was, I feel like in show

business, that represents an actual
friendship.

To me? Yeah. To me as well, because...

periodically when we see one another yes
it's a lot of this i love it i love it

yeah absolutely and i think well this
cements our actual relationship oh yes

yes imagine when we do this without
cameras one day it's gonna be

wouldn't even recognize you we don't
need to but but guys i was thinking

you know what when you asked if you can
show some of my shit

I play that grow old with you at the
very end.

Maybe you can shoot that, that kind of
shit. Okay. You know, instead of my

my jokes, I curse so much, I don't think
you know. I want a counter for this on

screen, the amount of times you say
fuck.

Yes. Let's see if we can bust 100.

It's too much, David.

You know your mother wouldn't like it,
my mother either. My mother was nothing

but fuck you. Hey, kids, fuck you.

Love you, David. Thank you, Adam. Talk
to you in a bit?

Maybe. Okay.

So now, how did the SNL, was that your
first regular TV gig, SNL? No, I did a

few things. I did a few little things. I
was on the Cosby Show. As what?

While I was going to NYU, I got on the
Cosby Show from doing stand -up. He

didn't see me, but his casting agent
came down, Barry Moss.

And he thought I was funny, and they
snuck me on the show. I played CEO's

friend. My name was Smitty. And by the
way, I was at NYU when it happened.

So the Cosby show, when that happened,
was the biggest show on air. So it was a

massive thing.

And all the kids came in my dorm room. I
lived at Brittany Dorm.

Yeah?

Right on.

Yeah, that was a great one. Great place.
I think I was on the sixth floor then,

and everybody came in the room and
watched, and they were like, this guy's

the Cosby show. How the hell did that
happen?

It was awesome. Yeah.

So where were you when you decided or
got the call to go audition for SNL? You

were out of college at that point? I
just got out of NYU. I moved out to L

was living with Apatow, Judd Apatow.

he he we we became friends at the improv
he was an mc i i was living in a shitty

house in the valley and and everyone was
starting to move out and do their own

things and uh and so i was panicking i
need a place to stay and and judd said i

uh i'll split one with you so i lived
with apatow and he was always funny and

always working hard and writing and i
would say he's the first guy comedian i

saw with a computer and he used to sit
in this chair with his knees thing like

you know he'd sit forward he had the
knees and the thing and i'd come in the

room i go what the is that chair and
he'd be like get it i'm writing and i

like stupid chair and that was a dick
always to him but uh lashed out at the

chair yeah the chair got me crazy what
the how dare you jeff was just writing

for other comedians right out the gate i
didn't even understand what the he was

doing and um somebody said snl's looking
for cast members And then Dennis Miller

saw me. Dennis Miller saw me at a comedy
club.

And he told Lorne Michaels, watch out
for this kid. He's pretty good.

And then that kind of opened up
something. And I did an audition. The

did an audition was me, Chris Rock.

uh and and three or four other great
comedians and i didn't even do that well

did five so lauren is in the room yeah
lauren saw me yeah and what does that do

how old are you then you're like 22 i
was 22 yeah 22 what does that do to a

knowing that here i am yes forget
everything else there's lauren michaels

was i was like it's all enough and then
this could go away and this is your

dream and then when i heard they like
some of my jokes the joke writing itself

um it was i had this joke that
apparently lauren liked i used to say uh

my mom was putting vic's vapor up on my
chest and i looked up at my mom and i

said mom i thought we were just friends
and so something like that

And so apparently Lauren thought that
was funny, and they talked about it. So

they said they'd hire me to write for
the show. Wow.

And then I was kind of like, I don't
know, man. I want to be on the show. And

they were like, shut the fuck up.

Really? You get a memo?

Yeah, something like that.

So then how long did you make it through
the full season? Was this a writer, or

did you start getting on the show
writer? I started doing what me, Spade,

Schneider were a little...

writer performance.

So you would write for everybody else
and there were so many great guys on the

show. Dana Carvey, Phil Hartman, just...

Jan Hooks. So you felt dumb not writing
for them. So you'd write skits for them

and then you'd say, okay, there's a
delivery guy in the skit, maybe I can be

that guy. That kind of thing. I need to
know, were you on that staff when we

know Chris Farley? Yes.

And I just know this, that you believe
he's the funniest man you ever...

Absolutely. We were talking backstage
moments ago and a friend of mine

the Hurley boy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Explain what that was.

I wrote that one.

Tim helped me or wrote so much shit for
me, but there was one that I wrote, and

I called it The Hurley Boy to be nice,
and every time I'm with Tim and somebody

says, I love The Hurley Boy, did you
write that? To Tim, I go, I fucking

that.

But anyways,

The Hurley Boy is about a guy who wants
to...

sleep in your bed or something.

Maybe a house sitter.

Yes.

And then you knew when you were on SNL,
if you wrote a skit and you put Farley

in it and he got to be Farley in it, it
was going to do well.

If you didn't want me to move in, why'd
you let me sleep in your bed?

Just let me move in, would you please?

Can we stop this cruel game and allow
the boy to keep one

shred of dignity?

For God's sake!

to see him in all this pain.

You vicious bastard!

Oh, yeah, his face would get crazy red,
and he couldn't breathe, and he would go

full tilt. By the way, when you would do
Saturday Night Live with Farley, and

you'd hear the stage manager, Joe Dixo,
or Bobby Van Ryde, they would be like,

five seconds, meaning, like, in five
seconds, you're on the air.

Farley would always be like, oh, let's
get him, or something really cool. He'd

be, like, so excited to crush, man.

I, oh, baby, you know I'm in love with

you.

Yeah.

What about a song like that for the
elevator?

That could be funny. We'll figure it
out.

Oh, my God.

Don't look behind you. David. Look at
that. That's horrible.

It is the worst part of the show,
looking back and seeing yourself up

go, no.

Yeah, but you look good. You sure?

Yeah, I just look like you're delivering
organs.

What are you doing? This is your sound
check?

I get the sound. Yeah, write down the
list of jokies, tunes.

We reorganized it. It's my second night
here, so we try to swap it up just in

case there's a repeat. Oh, good idea.
Yeah, I never had two shows. I barely

one show.

But you got a show to do in hours, a
couple hours. Yeah.

Whenever I would do it, certainly not on
this scale, at 2 in the afternoon, like

clockwork, I would be full of
apprehension. My stomach would start

That doesn't happen to you? No, that
doesn't happen right now.

I still can get, if I'm not ready.

And I'm not prepared. I still go up
shook up. And I have Dan here. He's my

player. Hi, Dan.

Heard good things.

I have him on stage, so it's kind of a
nice thing if I eat it that I can at

least look back at somebody and be like,
like you and Paul.

Yeah. You and Paul had a secret. Paul
was the best for me. Wasn't that the

greatest? He was absolutely the best.
Yeah. Like knowing somebody at a wedding

you don't belong at.

That's right. Oh, it's Larry.

Larry. No, I don't know him either. He
and I had the same sensory system.

If it ain't working.

Paul knows it ain't working.

I remember when I would watch you when
the show first started, me and my

used to watch you. We would love when
you didn't get a laugh. You would mock

audience or mock yourself.

That was our favorite.

I know, but if you're like me, and I
pray to God you're not, it kills you. I

would be so mortified and embarrassed.

Honestly, I couldn't leave the building
until it was dark outside.

Oh, yeah.

But you're not like that. When I was
young.

I was so insane, David. I started when I
was 17.

I literally ate it every night. Every
comedian I know would go, oh, man, I saw

you eat.

He did so hard at such and such. And I
didn't give a shit. I was just going, I

had this weird cocky, I was just like,
Jesus, these people. They're not

understanding what I'm giving them.
What's the matter with these guys? But

need that perspective.

Because if you got beaten down by them,
if they win each and every night, you go

home. But the fact that, no, no, it's
not me. It's you. And now, look at you.

You've won this. You have proven.

It is them, and now they've come around.
They've come around, most of them.

There's still some that leave going,
what the fuck was that?

I remember my dad, oh my God.

I did this one show in Boston, and my
dad and brother came to see it, and I

it so hard in front of my dad, and I
hated that.

And the emcee, I don't know who it was,
I don't remember.

Came on after, and I walked off into the
humiliation of eating it. And I was

halfway out, and he says, Adam, Adam.

I'm like, Adam, is that me?

I turn around, the emcee goes, and I was
17. He says, were you the class clown

in school? And I go, yeah. And he goes,
stick with that.

And the place goes, oh.

And I was like, oh, shit, man, that hurt
in front of Pop. There's no more period

of vulnerability than those few moments.

Either you've killed or you've not
killed, but you are just raw.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, man, it's a toughie.
You don't even know. Like, I do this,

David. I drive in my car, and I'll be
feeling good, listening to a good song.

As I'm driving, maybe 6 o 'clock, the
show's at 8 o 'clock that night, I go,

to keep this feeling.

What are you feeling right now? Can you
do that? And then literally 7 o 'clock

comes on, and I'm like, you fuck.

I just can't keep it up.

Exactly. But again, any endeavor, a
person in any field goes through that.

just not you, and to a lesser extent,
not me, certainly.

But God Almighty.

So the Happy Gilmore 2.

comes blowing into Netflix, and it's the
most successful streaming premiere

of anything in the history of streaming
anything.

And again, 30 years apart, nobody does
that. That was a good one. Nobody does

that. If they were going to make a Gone
with the Wind again, it would not come

close to Happy Gilmore 2. Can I tell you
a quick thought? I know this is off.

Gone with the Wind, I saw with my mother
when I was a little kid.

And she said, ooh, that Clark Gable is
handsome.

And I swear to God, I went home that
night and told my dad. I was like, you

to watch out for this.

Clark Gable guy, man. I don't trust mom.
I'm telling you, he's got a mustache.

There's something going on.

You are a global feature in the world of
film, for God's sake. Somehow that

happens. 62 films.

Pretty much the number I heard. That's a
lot. Yeah. Did I mention the gross that

these films represent?

I remember on the old show many years
ago, introducing you, having produced

revenue from these films at over a
billion.

Yes, yes, yes. So now I would think it's
multiple billion. Is that fair?

People have made cash.

Yes. But now it seems like movies are
all about, we're living in outer space,

saving the galaxy.

Yes. But your films, you don't do films
like that.

Well, now I've been doing so many with
Netflix, and when I was making movies

companies that put it in the theaters,
and then you would judge how much money

you made.

Netflix,

a little more relaxing. You don't have
to hear about the numbers quite as much.

You just try to make... But the thing
with Happy Gilmore 2, you still can't

explain that. That's remarkable, because
you've spanned in the success when the

first one came out. Yeah.

So we expect that. But now 30 years
later, the 2 comes out, and it

blows everything apart.

It was. So that can only speak to your
popularity.

I don't know. Maybe it made people
remember back in the day when we were

young, and a lot of parents tell me they
would show their kids Happy Gilmore,

and somehow it all connected nice, and
it was awesome.

But let's talk about Punch Drunk Love.
Yes.

Was that the first of the more, how do
you want to characterize that movie?

Yeah, the different style movie.

Yes, that was Paul Thomas Anderson.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's one of the
sweetest guys and the funniest guys. And

got a call from Tom Cruise.

I pick up the phone and I met Tom
before. And he goes, hey, hey, my

writing a movie for you. I said, oh,
that's cool. He goes, you want to talk

him? I said, when?

He goes, right now. Let me put him on.

And then I go, okay. Because they were
doing a movie together.

And I got on the phone and Paul was
like, talking to...

about Billy Madison and all my other
stuff.

And he said, I'm writing a movie right
now for you. Do you have any interest in

doing it? And I didn't know Paul.

I didn't know his work. And I said,
well, yeah, well, you send me that

and we'll go from there. And then he
came to my house and he handed me the

script. And he had it like, it was like
a present.

And I said, all right, man.

Okay, well, you read that and tell me
how you feel.

And then I read it, and I remember
going, holy shit, this guy's cool.

He gave me a doozy.

I have a love in my life.

It makes me stronger than anything you
can imagine.

I would say that's that mattress man.

And then, you folks seen a movie called
Uncut Gems?

Yes.

Thank you.

That was those tafty boys.

Wow. I don't understand how you could do
that. I mean, I loved it that the

character leaves with his teeth. I
thought that was fantastic. Oh, yeah,

was cool. So what are those? Those
aren't your teeth, are they? No, no, no,

no, no, no. That was cool, man, the
tafty.

brothers the safety brothers yeah they
they josh and benny they just and and uh

the ronnie who writes with them uh and
and edits with them they just had an

of what i should look like and they they
sprung the teeth on me kind of late in

the in the game and they were like
Stuffed him in my mouth. Right. But how

you do this? I mean, you came to NYU
here and studied acting.

Yeah. But I'm under the impression what
you did in that film can't be taught.

Here's the character. Can you do this?
And not only could you do it, wow.

I mean, really wow.

They think on game seven you're not
going to get fucking 18 points.

They don't think you're going to get
eight rebounds? These guys don't know

about ball. What the fuck are they
doing? Doesn't that make you want to

kill them? Doesn't that make you want to
say, fuck you for doubting me?

Doesn't that make you want to step on
fucking Elton Brand's fucking neck?

Come on, KG. This is no different than
that. This is me.

All right? I'm not a fucking athlete.
This is my fucking way. This is how I

I felt like when I was going to NYU, I
learned a lot.

I watched other people. And did it apply
to roles like Uncut Gems and Punch

Drunk Love?

Yes, yes, yes. I think of that stuff. I
think of the old days and the training,

and do I still go and tune it up? No, I
don't. It probably would be smart.

But I go off of what I learn. It becomes
part of you, you know, the Stanislavski

stuff.

Do I sit in my trailer and think, okay,
let me just...

do exactly what my teacher told me to
do. It probably doesn't happen, but it

get deep in my brain.

When they came to you with this script,
you said, oh boy, let me edit? No!

It had to be intimidating.

By the way, my wife, Jackie, I read it
and I was like, oh shit, this thing's

cool. I don't know, man. I don't know if
people want to see me like this, blah,

blah, blah. And then Jackie was like...

it's time to do something cool.

Just do something different, man, and
you'll have fun, and I think you'd be

at this. And when I was at NYU, what I
was thinking was, this is the truth, I

didn't just want to be a comedian. I was
like, I would go on stage, we'd do

scene work, I would do stuff that Pacino
did, I would do stuff that James Caan

did, and I would be like, I kind of want
to be like that. I want to get to do it

all. So here's what I'm thinking.

Uncut Gems.

No Academy Award nomination.

That, my friend, is bullshit.

Thank you. Thank you. You guys, I
appreciate it.

You know how every year at the Academy
Awards they have that thing where all of

the people who have died in the year,
they have a big memorial and everybody

looks forward to it and it's a loving
tribute.

They ought to include a category of
mistakes.

They just say, you know what?

We didn't nominate him. He should have
won. He should have been nominated. So

we're presenting you...

Not posthumously, but... I would take
that. You know, to give them a chance to

correct mistakes in their... I mean,
that says to me that nobody watched the

movie, because you watched that movie,
clean sweep, we're not even having a

show. That's, I mean, thank you, thank
you, thank you. I got more than enough

love. For that movie, I had no... Would
you do another something like that? Yes,

yes, yes. We're talking to those boys.
We talk about doing stuff all the time.

The Daffy Brothers?

Yes, yes.

Everybody did.

Look, Noah Baumbach wrote J. Kelly,
directed. I was in the Meyerowitz story

Noah. He's one of the greatest of all
time, this kid.

He's an amazing writer, amazing
director. I'm getting to be around

cool stuff.

Now let's talk about J. Kelly.

You're in there with Pretty Boy. What's
his name? george the clune dog a nice

man very smart very nice very giving
handsome he's good looking so handsome

knockout a knockout well what was it
like working with cluny that must have

weird right fun as hell really a very i
mean we shot in england and we were in

italy yeah in europe cluny's just

knows everything. He's such a giving
guy. He took care of my family.

What does that mean, took care of your
family? He's just so nice. His birthday

is the same birthday as my daughter,
Sadie. Oh, that's nice.

That day, everybody wanted to make it
about George, and George was like...

The whole day was about 80, and we had
the best dinner together.

But he gets quite a lot of close -ups,
and I know for a fact looking at those

close -ups that he's at work. He's at
work.

No, no.

No, no. You can tell looking at the guy.
He's not as handsome as he used to be.

Up close, he's not that handsome.

I'm telling you, he's better in the
afternoon.

No, I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding. No, he was phenomenal.
He's an amazing, giving guy, great

athlete.

I think he's awesome in J. Kelly.

Can't wait for you to see the movie. I
think he's heartbreaking in the movie. I

love it.

I'm suddenly remembering things.

What is that?

Memory? Well, yes.

Maybe your memory is trying to tell you
something about your present.

Like what?

I don't know. I'm tired.

I just had a fight with Daisy. I wish I
was there to help you.

What? What?

Nothing. I'm just tired.

I just wish I had more time with her.
It's always at work. Well, I always

negotiated flights on the weekend for
you to go home and see the kids. It's

difficult. What are you getting at? I'm
just saying Ben, for instance, flies

home every weekend from the show to see
his family. Ben. Ben Alcott.

It's hard not to feel like you. I'm just
saying these are the decisions we make.

You play his agent, his manager or
something, and you're tremendous in the

Thank you.

So now we hear about, oh, there could be
award conversation.

There could be Academy Award nomination
consideration.

And so I just think, okay, how does that
make you feel?

Similar to what you're saying. You just
go, okay. You hear stuff like that and

you say, okay, what am I supposed to do?

I'm aware of the fact that when you were
making a lot of films that you would

take your family with you. Is that true?
Yes.

So it would become a family activity so
you're not away from home for three

months, four months, whatever. Exactly.

You had a bunch of other little kids
around.

My friends all had kids around at the
same time.

they kind of grew up together on set and
stuff, and now my kids, they know a lot

about making movies and stuff. It's
great.

And I think I saw one of them in the Jay
Kelly film. Yes, that's my daughter

Sadie. Is she the older of the two?
She's the older.

No, but they've been in other films.
They've been in a bunch, and now they're

doing stuff they just didn't.

They did two different movies this
summer. I would just say that, and maybe

have this in common, I didn't know
anything about having a child. No one

It doesn't make any difference how much
you read, how much you tell the classes.

It doesn't make any difference. You
still don't know anything.

So the paramount gesture for me was to
try and make my son laugh. From the time

they start smiling, which is...

three months or so, I don't know.

Today, I try to make him laugh. And if I
can't make him laugh, I'm wracked with

failure and I stay in the basement.

So I don't think that's good parenting.
But did you have any of that in you?

Sure. You're happy when they're happy.
So to get them to laugh, it's the

greatest feeling. And when they got
older, they used to laugh easier. Now

get judged a little bit.

I do hear this, ooh, don't say that.
Yeah, no, that's not good. Don't say

Your wife, I didn't realize this is an
actress.

Yes. Where did this happen? I mean,
where did you meet? We met, me and

were at a party, a friend of ours party.
I was sitting down.

Jackie and some of her friends were
introduced. We all met each other, my

friends and Jackie's friends.

And somehow we sat next to each other.
And like you get when you immediately

fall in love, we did that thing where we
were staring at each other. Wow.

And stopped staring at each other and we
were being sweet with each other. And

then Jackie...

told me she's going the next day to
visit her grandma in Florida, and I was

like, ooh, that made me fall in love
even more.

That's when you slipped in the grandma
story about masturbating in the shower.

I said, my grandmother.

I know, but grandmothers are
grandmothers.

I hope she doesn't say this.

But, no, so anyways, we kind of, we
continued our flirting on the phone, and

then she came back, and honestly, we
just jumped right in, right? Maybe 28

ago.

So why did you want to do stand -up
again? Because when I was doing grown

Chris Rock, Kevin James, David Spade,
Rob Shiner, they kept coming back after

the weekend talking about their gigs. I
was like... Wow, you still do that, huh,

man? And I quit for like 20 years.

And missed it. And missed it. But very
busy. It's not like you were in the

in the dark room. By the way, when I
would do your show, I felt like a stand

because I would try to write jokes and
I'd write them with my buddies and I'd

try to get anything that would get a
laugh or get you to laugh. And so that

kind of how I stayed a little.

like a joke writer and did you work
small clubs ever when you were a kid oh

back when i was 17 i didn't know what i
was yet i would watch so many great

comedians go i guess i'm gonna be like
that guy and you can name like 20

comedians when my first two years and i
was like let me be more like him let me

be like steve martin let me be like
whoever i could uh kind of get a formula

like and then colin quinn who was just
He's a great comedian. He was just such

nice person to me.

I was going to college, doing stand -up,
and he was the emcee. And he used to

go, you know, you make me laugh a little
bit more offstage.

And I was like, oh, I got hurt, of
course.

And he goes, what I'm saying is maybe,
you know, when you tell me stories about

New Hampshire and you.

Being Jewish in New Hampshire, that
stuff makes me laugh. Maybe we should

about that a little more and try not to.
It took me a while to just become

myself on stage. So you still, in
getting ready for a show like this, how

did it get you to get this show in this
condition?

Oh, shit, like two months. Two months.

And I did, this is probably the 15th
show of the tour.

We're starting to get cooking now. The
last time you and I saw one another, it

was also in a theater. It was at the
Kennedy Center. It was Conan. O 'Brien's

induction with the Mark Twain Award. And
I was very jumpy that night. Yes.

And I saw you in the wings. Yeah. You
looked like you were like a guy running

not a very successful mortuary.

You had a big black suit that was like.
Oh, it was too big for me. Something.

Something's wrong. I shouldn't wear
that. And we hugged. Oh, man. And you

consoled me. Yeah. And you made me feel
better. So then you go out. And it's

like a drunk guy throwing grenades in
the audience. It was like, kaboom, the

laughter just exploding. And then
kaboom, and then kaboom.

that makes his dick look like Pennywise.

In the summer, has so many freckles on
his dick that it looks like Ron Howard

hugging Tom Sawyer Mark Twain reference.

Has 12 Kids' Choice Awards and 15 MTV
Awards.

Nope, that's actually the Sandman.

Now I'm just backstage, just beginning
to wither. And the energy...

That you propelled off that stage, and I
just thought, I'm a dead man. No. I am

a dead man. You came on, and you were
the night man. No. Yes. No, no, no.

Conan's favorite. You're all us. No, no,
no, no. Anyway, enough of that.

That's forever.

I've been watching a lot of your work.

Music is such an essential part of your
act, if not the act. Yes, it's a big,

big part of being. You're doing jokes.
Yes. But it's songs.

Yes. And jokes. Songs that are
protection.

I do the goofy jokes.

If I feel them nosedive, then I go,
let's go, quick. Take out that guitar.

At least hit them with some noise, man.

Who's gonna be the hero to get you
through the night?

Who's gonna wrap their arms around you
and make everything all right?

I saw you.

Friday night at the Mohegan Sun Casino
Theater. One of the many impressive

things about this experience of seeing
Adam live was the audience.

is with you first breath, right through
like an hour and a half. And the thing

builds to this unholy crescendo of joy,
if joy can be unholy.

But, you know, if I were to do that, I
would get heckled. You don't get heckled

at all.

Sometimes they scream stuff out, and I
run out of things to say, and then all

a sudden it gets awkward for a minute.
But, man. Not what I think.

I sing one more tune for my wife because
she's so nice to me and lets me talk

about all this fucking dumb shit.

Here we go.

I met you 28 years ago and we talked all
night.

You drank me under the table. Yeah, it
was love at first that I knew. Right

and there, I'd grown with you.

All right. Describe the love song to
your wife.

Yes, yes. Beautiful.

Thank you. I sing that every night.

I took the song from the wedding singer
and changed the words and dedicated it

to my wife. In my act, I say so many
things about my kids and my wife that

aren't true, that I make up shit and
make it goofy.

And so just at the end of the show, I'd
just like to remind the audience that

I... you know none of that shit's real
and i and how much i love and does that

make your wife feel better uh yeah i i
think so i think so when you explain

you're lying about her yeah yes yes yeah
i think during while i'm saying it she

must go let's move on now we don't need
a big house we don't need any money

all we need is you and me and sadie and
sonny i got everything i need

growing old with you.

Okay. Love you.

Have a good night. Have fun out there.
Peace.

Well, I'll tell you, I've known you a
long time. I've only known you really,

really well for a much shorter period of
time. But you were kind of the way show

business ought to be, my friend. You
know? Thank you, David. You are. Look at

this guy here. It's Adam.

Thank you, Adam.

Thank you.

Yes. Thanks for knocking.

You're the first guy to ever knock, I
swear to God. Hey, buddy.

Unbelievable. Thank you. You had fun?
Oh, my God.

I kept thinking of you out there. Oh,
you made me laugh. I was hoping it was

okay. It was fantastic.

Thank you. I'm telling you, David, the
whole time I was up there, I would,

tune out and go, I wonder if David's all
right. Good. Where were you sitting? I

want you to think of me every night. I
do think of you. I do. I call my wife

right before the show. I go, I hope he
likes this. And are you all sweaty?

I didn't get sweaty.

Okay, then that's fine. Yeah, yeah,
yeah.

My man, I love you.

There's a lot of guy here.

Oh,

no, no, no. That's fake. Oh, hi, Dave.

That was very funny. Very funny. Nice
going.

Thanks. It's fun because we all do a
little bit, and then we get to see Adam,

and then we all just bullshit around
backstage. That's fantastic. He had the

same life as us. Had his best friends
and put him on the show. Yeah. Same shit

we do. I can tell which ones are your
buds.

The thing about him is he's not sweaty.

I don't sweat. See, I'm sweaty, and I
just sat in a folding chair. You're not.

You were the perfect hug, baby. It was
not a soothing hug.

You'll never get to hug that man. No,
please don't.