Original subtitles

Thank you, Brando.

It's good to have you home, ma 'am.

This is where my story begins.

And this is where it ends.

For the hundredth time, you have your victim and your suspect mixed up. I am

victim. Me, Maxine.

Norma, the suspect, has framed me.

Norma screamed, Maxine, don't kill me. Then I heard a gunshot. And now there's

no more Norma. You also thought you saw Linda shoot the president, so you need

to get your organs checked.

Sergeant, detective, whatever you are. Special agent trainee.

And you seem to be in the middle of every major crime in Palm Beach.

Flattery will get you nowhere.

But I simply will not confess to a murder of a woman who is not even dead.

Then why are they reading Norma's will across town?

Who's the they reading Norma's will across town?

To Pinky, my Cuban brother from another mother, and his beautiful wife, Raquel.

So, the old lady finally knocked off the old lady, huh?

I wouldn't go that far, but my aunt has been missing long enough to declare her

dead. Three days.

So, as soon as we read Norma's will leaving me everything... Us everything.

Ah,

what a...

We got that. And Pinky doesn't have to kill you.

She meant kill as a figure of speech, right? She did not.

Douglas? Pinky the mobster, Mitzi. We had a deal to turn this house into a

nightclub. It fell through.

I've been a marked man ever since.

Robert, what are you doing here?

Mr. Diaz is named in Norma's will, and according to this most recent codicil,

is the only person named.

The mansion and everything inside is his, and his alone.

What about our baby?

The Generation Skipping Trust?

It will remain skipped until Mitzi gives birth. If you go ahead and sign, Mr.

Diaz. Robert.

Robert! How do you feel about real estate?

He can't have the house, Douglas.

But if Pinky hears that, he's going to kill me.

Robert, brother, please.

I'm about to be a father to a beautiful baby boy. Or girl.

Hopefully a boy, but a father, Robert.

Please.

We'll name the baby Robert.

Or Roberta.

Please.

No.

Robert! Look at you! What a pleasure to see you again.

What's up?

I think there was a misunderstanding.

Douglas couldn't have promised them this house. This house doesn't belong to

Douglas. This house is mine.

is even dead.

There's no body, no body, no death, no murder. It's the Holy Trinity of the

Amen to that.

Excuse me, sir. I was just in the middle of a sound legal... Any man who is his

own lawyer has a fool for a client, and you are far too pretty to be a fool.

I'm also not a man.

Or a lawyer.

Dr. Dusty Magic, doctor of law and part -time gynecologist. You have held this

woman for three days without any due cause or proof.

No body, no death, no murder. That's what I just said.

I knew I heard it somewhere.

You're free to go.

You walk out that door, you're a marked woman, Maxine.

Even if I can't prove you had anything to do with this, you'll be ruined in

town forever.

Au contraire, Special Agent Tramee. Thank God.

I will own it.

Let the record reflect that I'm not your client. And even if I was, I wouldn't

be able to pay you. Oh, please.

I've been following your story.

You're definitely a woman who could use my help.

And all my services are completely pro bono.

Well, I don't think anyone does anything for free in this town, so you can keep

your bono to yourself.

Besides, I have a plan to unsell you my name, and it has nothing to do with a

lawyer cum gano. How does it feel to be a murderous whore? When did you realize

your marriage was over? Is that the same dress you wore when you killed Mona?

one fascinating moment.

Norma's not here to protect you anymore.

But lucky for you, Sidonius, I can offer the club a substantial infusion of

funds. More than enough to pay off your pesky illicit mortgages. Go on.

In exchange for lifting this albatross off your weaselly little neck, my

and I want a controlling ownership stake in the Palm Royale.

Please tell me you're not talking about that pariah, Maxine. It's a silent

partnership. Practically mute. Members won't take kindly to a killer buying

their club.

It seems a liability.

What if they found out Norma wasn't murdered?

That she escaped with the help of a certain club ambassador?

Would that be a liability?

Screw it.

Anything to get out of this members -only purgatory.

I always knew you were a reasonable egg, Sidonia.

Transferring the title will require signatures from each of the Palm

founding families.

You mean... Yes, the three Ds.

David Falls, the Donna Hughes, and... The fucking Delacorte.

Eddie, I come bearing news and folders.

G'day, partner Palomar.

Is this the only toilet in town, or are you fully committed to finding new ways

to nauseate me? And shouldn't you be behind bars?

I sprung myself no thanks to you.

And I had to get out of that front -page murder dress.

Thank God the porters didn't take my luggage.

That's because they took my bags of paper money by mistake. I called the QE2

the boat and said the bags had already disembarked in Liverpool.

How can bags disembark without a... Norma.

That's how she escaped.

She took your cash.

And my ticket.

Show your work.

After she shot down the chandelier, she slid in the old bootlegging tunnel via

the hole in the floor.

Next, after she got her wits about her, she hightailed it to the Delacorte beach

where she dropped her belt, thereby implicating May, before hopping onto a

waiting fan boat to catch up to the already departed QE2.

Whereupon, she checked into my cabin.

Goodbye, Palm Beach. And your bags of money were delivered to her by mistake.

Bag?

I think Norma took the whole kit and caboodle.

Everything's coming up.

And disembarked in Liverpool.

The steamer trunk. That miserable clown Sidonius wasn't moving a body. He was

taking her luggage to the QE2.

Oh, we have to find her. Well, we're going to get your cash and clear my

That all makes perfect sense, except for one thing.

What? Norma refuses to stay anywhere but the Ritz, and every yokel knows

Liverpool is a Ritzblitz.

She's a murderess on the run. I hardly doubt the specificity of a hotelier is

going to matter to her at this point. Have you never met a rich person?

Operator, get me the London Ritz, please.

London Ritz, how may I assist you? Yes, may I have Norma Dillacourt's room,

please?

I'm sorry, ma 'am, but there are no guests here by that name.

We can't give up now. We've got to call every euro risk there is.

No, I don't have time for this. If we're going to secure this club, I have some

people to see too, sweet.

Speaking of which, how dry is the ink on your divorce papers?

Dry as a Sicilian white. Why?

You're on a need -to -know basis.

Look, I don't believe you killed Norma, but I'm a minority opinion in this town.

So unless and until you're found innocent, you are a silent partner in

deal. Capiche?

Capiche? Yes. Good girl. Now I'm off.

Good luck clearing your name.

London Ritz, how may I assist you?

Yes, excuse me, I've misspoke earlier.

I'm looking for a Maxine Delacorte, please.

Apologies, ma 'am, you just missed her. She checked out this morning.

Seriously?

So you want an APB all across Europe because somebody checked into a London

under your name?

Okay, well, what about the trophies in the trophy room at the Delacorte?

Anne can cross -reference the trophies with the Shaughnessy obituaries. Start

there.

And then once you have something concrete, I'll see about that tracker.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Get off of me.

If my higher -ups saw us, they could blow up this entire unofficial off -the

-books investigation.

There's one thing I'm great at. It's being subtle. Yeah.

Okay.

I'll call you later about the case.

Unofficially. I want to rip off that space suit and blast your rocket.

How about that?

Beam me up, Robbie.

Cling on to my hips and tickle my cheese fox.

All right.

So what does it mean?

It's from a TV show.

Let me read this one. It says, I saw your picture in the paper and I had to

write. You might have forgotten me, but I'll always remember you.

Why'd you stop?

Some of these get really personal for some reason.

Really? Yeah.

We all have a path.

As much as I would love to keep reading and mail,

I have to get to work.

Come on.

Listen, I don't know if I should come here again.

It doesn't look good.

That's not what you were saying half an hour ago.

Your best friend is a suspect in Norma's disappearance.

You inherited her fortune in her house. It could look like you two are in

cahoots. Well, first of all, Norma is not dead.

She's just a very complicated woman, and Maxine is another very complicated

woman, and this is just another complication between them.

Were you expecting someone?

Sounds like a bunch of vespers.

You shoot, class!

You got saved!

Returning to the scene of the crime? What happened to the dress you killed

in?

You!

That, sir, is your doing!

What, are you here to twist the knife even more?

Actually, I was taking a statement.

From Mr. Diaz.

More like making a statement to Mr.

Diaz.

Slandering me.

Whispering poisonous in your rundles in his ear.

Well, listen up. Because I can whisper too.

You will never turn him against me.

He is my best friend.

Consider your investigation compromised, Special Agent Poopypants McGee.

Call me later, sweetie.

Maxine?

What are you doing?

proven that Norma's a murderer, so I can prove I'm not a murderer, so I can

still buy the Pomeranian with Evelyn. Norma is not a murderer. Why is

accusing each other of murder?

Because of Douglas' death declaration.

It has framed me for Norma's disappearance.

Surprised they'd let you stay here anyway.

Well, he doesn't have a choice, because Norma left this house for me and her

will.

Wait, but if Norma's leaving you everything, that means she's leaving

nothing, and I get half of that, which is... which is nothing.

After everything I've been through, I'm going to be homeless by half? Come on,

you can stay here as long as you need.

But I think it's best if you, um... if you move to the pool house.

Why, there's like a million bedrooms.

Yeah, I know. I've seen with the investigation, Tom says it's better if

not seen together.

Tom? Tom Sanka? Who? Who gives a flying fig what Tom Sanka thinks?

I... Tom?

Is there an Amaratu?

It's not what you think. It's, uh... I actually hope it is what I think.

Because if I can compromise the investigation from the outside, you can

compromise it from the inside.

I didn't compromise anything, Maxine. I like the guy.

I more than like. He's accusing me of murder.

Robert, this is my life. He can send me to jail.

Please. You know Norma better than anyone. She's got to have a secret or

Nothing I can think of.

Well, keep thinking.

I've got to get these trophies to end holiday.

Ew,

I think I found a finger bone.

Palm Beach is no longer safe, Perry.

In these unprecedented times, we can't trust the powers that be to protect us

anymore. We have to be the powers that be.

There is a void.

We must fill the void. We must become the void.

You must become mayor.

I don't want to be mayor.

Too bad.

Behind every great man, It's an even greater woman, and this greater woman is

going to be the next First Lady of Palm Beach.

Ta -da!

It's a Warhol.

Oh! Did you invite them?

No.

Harry. Daggerino. My best man, my best friend, my best brother.

Norma. Gave our house to the pool boy. So we were wondering, could we use your

place to hide out from Pinky?

As the man of the house, let me say mi casa es tu casa. This is your big idea,

Douglas? Rest to sleep on Perry's couch? Oh, no. This is no way to treat the

mother of your unborn meal ticket. Come with me, Mitzi. We have a guest room.

Please. I'll show you around.

Have you seen our pool?

Hello, Perry.

Oh, Douglas, good. You're here, too. Two birds, one stone. Gentlemen, a word in

private.

Help yourself, Evelyn. Don't worry, Dinah. I can be alone with other

husbands. No offense, Missy.

Everyone has their cause.

Dinah had pediatric cancer.

Mary had something about fiber.

And for me, I have decided to devote the rest of my days... solemnly, humbly,

and with complete selflessness to the cause of preservation.

And gentlemen, as you know, our very way of life is gasping on a ventilator.

Do we pull the plug?

No. We have palm beat, hike up our slingbacks, and get to work.

Now, our beloved palm royale is in desperate need of a facelift. Could you

agree more?

Some mixed medical metaphors, but okay.

Then it's settled. I will head up the preservation committee.

All I need are the John Hancocks of a Donahue and a

Delacorte. So the Palm has financial trouble?

If so, we've got good heads for these real estate kind of thingies. No, this

isn't a real estate thingy. This is a Neville and Rollins thingy.

Fine, I'll create an advisory board thingy and put you two on it just as

you sign.

Deal?

You're welcome to stay here as long as you want.

Norma told me you'd all start being nice to me.

You've still got that Black Widow stain, and you're hoping that by cozying up to

me, some of my new girl shininess will rub off on you.

True.

But what's also true, little Mitzi -Mitz, is that we women always have each

other's backs when push comes to shove.

All you seem to do is fight like rancid koozies.

You'll see.

Do you have a plan?

There's a trust for my baby with $82 million in it, so that's good.

A lot can happen in five months.

Believe me, I know what it's like to be engaged to a much older man who could

die at any moment.

Oh, Douglas is only 50. Listen, little girl, it is a dark, dangerous world out

there.

Presidential assassinations, murderous musical hippie communes. We are all in

danger. You, me, your baby, me.

To be safe, a woman has to have power.

Stick with me.

Maybe our shine can rub off on each other.

Counterproposal. If the club needs cash, we could invest.

For a controlling interest, of course.

Of course.

I'd eat my teeth before teaming up with you two chuckle fucks. Hey, you do not

talk to my stag brother like that.

This man is going to be mayor.

Yeah, and this man is going to be a millionaire as soon as this baby pops

that lady.

Don't count your chicken. A lot can happen in five months.

So what do you say to our terms?

One day, you two will learn that charity starts at home.

Except this ain't charity.

And I'm not at home.

How's this for charity? Go fuck yourself!

Fuck you!

Once the noise and scandal of divorce quiets, there's just silence and

loneliness.

If a woman falls in public and no one catches her, does anyone hear her cry?

Robert,

can I sleep with you?

Sure.

I'm scared.

Me too.

That cop?

Now who's the persona nonque?

Is Robert Diaz upset about your new lover?

Robert Diaz is not my lover. Get out of my bush.

Are you still a murderous whore?

His investigation is compromised. He should be the one in hot water. But it's

always easier to blame the woman, isn't it? It is. She's a murdering, man

-eating divorcee.

That poor slut.

She keeps making things worse for herself.

And now Dinah thinks she can run her imbecile husband for mayor?

I don't know why you made Maxine partner.

We never discussed it. And it doesn't matter.

Until we can get Delacorte and Donahue to stop diddling each other's donkeys

play ball, the whole deal's dead anyway.

Maybe not.

I haven't been down here in a while.

Oops.

What are those?

Dinah's love letters.

To me. Here.

What am I going to do with them?

Tell her you'll give them to the press if Perry doesn't sign.

You don't really want to do that.

You want leverage?

Future first lady of Palm Beach or not, if the papers print all the smutty stuff

she wrote to me, she'll never be able to show her face around here again.

What kind of smutty stuff?

You don't want me to answer that.

So do yourself a favor and don't...

Read them.

These don't mean anything to me anymore.

They're a part of my past.

If they can help secure our future, what would Evelyn Rollins do?

You mean Evelyn Rollins -Martinez?

I'm scared, Doug.

What's our plan?

Well, Maxine was always in charge of the planning.

Hey.

What is it?

Well, I might have a plan.

Or, not a plan per se, but maybe more of a crazy notion of an idea.

Yeah?

Hit me.

Where?

We're getting married.

Oh, that's typically what engaged me. Today.

Right now. We want our bundle of joyful buns in the oven to be legitimate no

matter what happens.

Can we take your car down to the courthouse?

Absolute demote.

Oh, no, actually, Perry, can you drive?

If Pinky's going to see me, then I'll be wearing a Cuban necktie to my own

wedding, right?

What a completely wonderful and absolutely organic plan.

You having an affair with that jerk?

No! It's called a long con.

You should know that.

Ann, can't you do something about that?

Sorry, I took a sabbatical from the shiny sheet to work pro bono for the

think our best bet at rehabbing your image is for us to prove that Norma's

and for you to stop pulling stupid stunts like this one.

All right.

Okay.

What's the update, hardy girls?

We connect enormous trophies to the Palm Beach obits.

We have enough overlap to be suspicious.

Now, the official?

In making concierge calls, we've been able to track her from London to Paris

we think, Switzerland.

But her trail goes cold in the Alps. Well, that makes sense.

Just mountains and mountains out there, I think.

Not what we meant.

Once she enters Switzerland, we lost all sign of her.

Can't you just send an agent over there to...

Scour the area?

We are the only two working on this unofficial, off -the -books case, and

technically Anne don't even work here.

I demand justice!

Not just for me, but for all the children of the world!

There was a dangerous killer on the lam! We don't have any actual proof of that.

All we know for sure is someone is checking into European Ritzes under your

name. I guess we just continue to divide and conquer.

Right? Keep tracking.

I'm going to take my case to the press.

Soldiers?

I would like to speak with your new editor.

He's at lunch, ma 'am. Well, when he returns, will you please tell him to

on real journalism instead of printing stories about me sleeping with a cop who

got me off last night?

No, that didn't sound very good. Don't print that. Don't write that.

There's my star.

You? I knew you'd be good for business.

You've been feeding the shiny sheet stories about me?

Sailing.

How very double -dare are you?

This is just the way it works. The law and the press, old bedfellows.

Besides, I'm working pro bono. How else am I going to get paid? Here, make sure

you give these pictures to your editor.

Thank you.

You know I'm not a murderer. Why don't you just tell them to print the truth?

Oh, you don't want them to print the truth?

What? Of course I do.

You want them to print that your husband left you for a younger woman and you're

shacking up in a pool house?

No, I don't think so.

They pity aging divorcees, but, uh...

They find accused murderers as sexy.

You said anything about being sexy?

I just did. And you can put that in the paper.

I'm a good person.

I'm not a trolloping trollop.

You know, every good name could use a pinch of bad, don't you think?

I want you to look into your heart and tell me that's not true.

Now, like the card says, let's make some magic.

Maxine Horton, I'm not in the mood to do any autographs right now. Ow!

Ow! What the?

Do I know you?

You certainly know my husband.

Keep your hand off my man.

I really like that piece.

There's something about the hair.

I like small weddings. I've always liked small weddings. My first wedding was

pretty small. I mean, it wasn't really big, but then it was really small.

That was fun, right? That was fun, right? That was fun. That was nice.

I'm really happy to be married, but this isn't how I pictured my wedding day.

I was looking forward to all the gifts and cake and the dress.

Everything that makes a wedding feel special.

And I don't want to get back in the trunk.

What?

Mitzi, that's just the deal. So pretzel up, okay?

Pretzel up? Yeah, pretzel up.

My mitts, let's pretz. I promise I will give you the biggest, most specialist

wedding that Palm Beach has ever seen. Just a normal promise, okay?

I can see in your eyes you're angry, Mitzi, but I'm still in hiding. That

you're still in hiding, baby. So there you go.

Oh, dog!

That's a good girl, Mitzi. I'm going to swivel. Yeah.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah.

Married?

Tom?

Yes, but now his marriage is on the rocks thanks to your kissing stunt.

Which I was forced to creatively conceive in order to ruin his dumb, dumb

investigation. Not so dumb.

Norma disappeared right after you threatened her.

You're just pulling a Douglas.

I'm pulling a what? A Douglas.

where you take a morsel of malarkey, blow it up, throw it back in my face to

take the heat off of you.

That's actually not what I was doing.

Well, Tom's wife actually slapped me in the face.

I'm sorry.

You don't look like you're sorry.

You look like you're suppressing a giggle.

You know what you are?

You're a Mitzi.

You're a tall, handsome, marriage -ruining manicurist.

It's different for us.

Maybe it isn't.

Maybe you're just a... Person?

Hurting another person?

Not if she never finds out.

But she did find out. She just thinks you're me.

You know what?

Tom and I had something really good going on, and now because of you, he

even come to this house.

Ho, ho, ho!

Ho, ho, ho!

My dear brother, allow me to offer my sincere apologies that we are not at the

fraternal odor of the Stag Lodge with our fellow Stag brethren.

as per tradition. But as you know, I am being hunted by a homicidal Cuban

mobster, so we must perform this most glorious of running rituals here

on this lowly ground.

We shall bless the nuptial bed in the commensurate fashion.

What are they doing?

They're stag brothers.

When one stag weds, the other stags fight him.

He's in ritualistic rut.

That's stupid.

You're married into society now, Mitzi. There are all kinds of inanities you'll

endure as you stare into the middle distance.

How long will this last?

The middle distance?

30 or 40 years.

No, the...

Running. Oh, they'll be out there for ages.

I have an errand to run.

future. Don't read those.

I wasn't supposed to, but they're Dinah's love letters. Here, listen to

Oh, your throbbing man member is only dwarfed by your

massive man heart.

Ew, that's sweet.

I know.

They really loved each other.

Evelyn, are you laughing?

Oh, no, you're crying.

Oh, that's so human of you. Don't be disgusting.

I didn't get the signatures. Now everything's gone to shit.

I don't think there's much of a difference anyway.

I'm still a murderess in the eyes of that awful officer.

And my name is Unclearable now that Norma the Trail has gone cold in the

The Alps?

Maxine, Norma used to vacation in the Alps.

That trail might not be so cold after all. Wait, what are you saying? That

might be hope?

Yes.

Unfortunately, only one person ever went with Norma to the Alps.

Oh, I'm going to need some coffee.

Your hope lies in the hands of...

Mary, is that your Arabian night benefit to save the songbird turban?

Indeed it is. Gorgeous.

I'm afraid you've come at a rather wan moment.

I haven't seen the ghost of my bootlegger in days.

I've been trying to contact him on my Aunt Paige's Ouija board.

That's convenient.

I've been steeping myself in the occult, talking to ancestors.

Why? Just yesterday, I communed with Marie Antoinette.

Ah, an ancestor?

No,

just a close friend.

Look, I need to know where you and Norma stayed in the house.

Mr. David still always made the arrangements.

And when we returned, I would always feel blue.

So, David would give me shock treatment to, as he put it, clear the cobwebs from

my chimney.

And you, Evelyn, what do you seek? Oh, a signature.

We are making a play to buy the Palm Royale, and we need the three Ds to sign

off. So if you'd just oblige us with your Jane Hancock.

No, it's David's name. I can't.

Well, you'll have to ask him yourself.

Oh, sorry. Isn't Mr. David so rather dead?

Before we begin, are either of you on your period?

Thank you, Mary.

I don't want to touch it. I'm not touching it. No need.

No need.

Which query would you like Mr. Davidson to address first?

Oh, ask him where Norman stays in the L. No, no, no. Ask him if it's okay for

you to sign. No, no, no. It's fine. It's more important.

Mr.

Davidson doesn't like it when women argue. It crosses his haywire.

R. M.

A. Norma.

D.

I. E. D.

I. N. T. H.

E. A. L.

D. N.

Norma died.

Maybe she died in the Alps.

F -U.

Still a bitch even from the beyond.

Did Mr.

Davidson come through? What did he say?

David loves the idea. He said you should sign immediately.

Oh.

And did you get your answer?

Well, I think the F -U was specifically for me.

The spirits don't prevaricate.

They also said Norma died in the Alps. If that's true, who's trying to frame

for her murder?

How should I know? I'm not a detective.

My dearest Robert, if all went according to plan, you're enjoying the spoils of

the Delacorte Mansion.

God knows you've earned it.

I'm sorry I had to leave under these circumstances, but I promise all will be

revealed in due time.

Meanwhile, I ask two favors.

One, please continue...

to evagerate the reports of my death.

And two, send the five Entwistle portraits of me to the Swiss National

Portrait Gallery to hang proudly in the Hall of Delacourts.

I want to take my rightful place among them.

High above the Fugiturgen.

Fluggenjurgen.

Fluggenjurgen. Fluggenjurgen. Don't try to say it.

It's where I spent those first lonely years.

But I want you to know, I was never lonely for one second when I

was in your splendid presence.

Mitzi. Hi.

I came to leave a note for Maxine.

But I can come back later.

I can give it to her if you want.

Okay.

Yeah, sure.

Thanks.

Mitzi.

Do you ever regret what you did?

With Douglas, I mean.

Oh.

I wasn't married.

He what?

If, um, if you're planning on pinning your dreams on Douglas,

please don't.

What are you doing here?

What they're saying about me. It's not the truth.

Then what is the truth? Your husband is... Um...

He's, um... My husband is what?

Your husband is... The

best lover I have ever had in my life. I mean, just...

Mind -blowing.

His man -member is the manliest member I can... member.

Wait.

I'm so sorry that I hurt you.

Please don't blame him.

I'm going through a divorce, which I'm sure you know, and it's caused me to act

like a homewrecking... prostitute.

I'm sure you can understand.

And I'm sure he loves you very much.

Enjoy your dinner.

I'm so sorry you won't be able to purchase the Palme Royale.

Perry told me all about your little plan.

But if you're looking for some way to make your life more meaningful, we'd

to have you volunteer for Perry's mayoral campaign.

Perry's not gonna be mayor.

So many of them.

What do you want?

A Donahue signature.

Or everyone will know the many, many sexual positions the would -be mayor's

enjoyed with her tennis coach.

Remember how many papers Maxine sold?

Norma gone, we have to look out for each other, don't we? It's a scary world out

there.

Especially now that there's a new new girl who may be smarter than we think.

It must have been hard for you to read those letters.

I didn't read a word.

Thank you.

Now all I need is a Delacorte.

I spy with my little eye.

What?

A Delacorte.

I was wrong.

What I said earlier, it is different for you and for Tom.

And I'm sorry.

I thought you were...

Worried about your reputation.

You mean more to me than the Palm Royale.

You should know that.

You're a good friend.

I know.

Who am I?

Mitzi came by earlier and she left this for you.

It's done. We're married.

Not much of a writer, is she?

Yeah, hello. Dr. Dusty, what can I do you for? It's Max singing. I hope I'm

calling too late.

Oh, no, no, no. I'm fine. I'm just with a patient right now.

One minute.

Oh, wow. You're still at work?

Oh, yeah. The doctor's always on call, like a priest and a hooker.

Can I tell you something?

Sure.

I'm awful glad you called.

I just wanted to say thank you for getting me off today.

Oh, legally speaking.

Well, it's my pleasure.

Legally speaking as well.

And I think you're right.

My story has gotten a bit rotten lately.

Maybe it is time for a new chapter.

Well, why don't we meet up in person?

Maybe grab a couple cocktails?

Are you asking me out on a date?

It looks like it's been through hell.

I don't care what you give me for it. I just want that thing out of my life.

Ah, yeah, I'm going to have to melt it down for parts.

Nobody wants a ring with somebody's name engraved on it.

What?

There's no name on my ring.

Looks like it was done with a pin or something underneath the stone around

setting. A -G -N -E -S.

The rutting ceremony is complete.

So, tis time.

I'm addressing our wedding invitations for our real wedding. I went with the

ecru cardstock.

They are beautiful.

Just like you.

I don't think tis time for that.

Of course.

It is time.

That's what that means.

I didn't even get a ring.

Well, I'll get you a ring so big it'll make your back hurt. Good.

Because I also want twelve bridesmaids and two showers.

One for me, and one for the baby.

But until that happens...

Pretzel up, Doug.

There's something different about you.

I'm Mrs.

Douglas Delacorte now.

Under there.

I guess this is who we are now.

For now.

Safe and sound.

In your house.

Robert?

Yeah?

Who's Agnes?

Get comfy.

There's something else I need to tell you.

Thank you.