Original subtitles

Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

♪ Oh...

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he. ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish... ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish. ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ Ready? SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!

Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON

Wait for it...

Another day, another migraine.

Mi...

graine.

Isn't it great

working at the Krusty Krab, Squidward?

Huh? Isn't it?

Working here?

Yeah, great.

Yeah.Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yes!

Hold that thought, Squidward.

I'm due in the parking lot for early morning litter patrol.

May Neptune shine brightly on my harvest.

Litter.

Looks like someone missed the trash basket,

huh, Mr. Candy Wrapper?

Kids these days.

I've never seen such an epidemic!

Well, at least it's all over now.

Huh?

Huh?!

Huh?

Where is all this litter coming from?

Not on my watch.

Sir, I will have you know

it's against the law to litter.

Ha! What are you going to do,

call the police?

Yes.

How's it going, lieutenant?

Well, let's just say I hope our litterbug there

saved room for his just desserts.

Yeah!

Just desserts.

Whatever.

SpongeBob, don't you know who that is?

Who?

That's the Tattletale Strangler!

Who?

The Tattletale Strangler!

He's promised to strangle anyone

who turns him in!

He seems kind of angry with us, eh, Squidward?

Squidward?

Squidward!

You're going to do time, Strangler.

Hard time.

Hi, officers.

So he's going to jail, right?

Who, Strangler?

Yeah, Strangler.

Oh, yeah.

He's going to jail for a long time.

Hey, that looks like me!

Don't worry, SpongeBob,

he won't be able to strangle you.

Yeah, we got him chained up real good.

He'll never get away.

Oops, not again.

Yup, he got away.

You nice officers will protect me, right?

We ain't bodyguards, kid.

Yeah, give us a call

if you see him again, tattletale.

Those officers are right... I need a bodyguard.

Mr. Krabs!

There's a maniac after me.

I need a bodyguard!

I wasn't five-time golden claws in the navy

for nothing.

When he see me moves,

he'll be running scared.

So where is this little bully,

down at the park?

The soda shop?

What does he look like, eh, boy?

This would be him, Mr. Krabs.

The Tattletale Strangler!

Go away, SpongeBob.

Take your death cloud with you!

Hold me! Hold me!

That's it, I got to get out of town

till I can find a bodyguard.

Bodyguard, huh?

Uh, I might be able to help you out.

You don't understand, mister.

I need protection from the scariest guy in town.

Here's his picture.

He doesn't look so tough.

I tattled on him,

and now he wants to strangle me

with his diabolical hands!

I hope they're not dirty.

Huh?

Uh-oh, there's too many witnesses around here.

Listen, kid, I could be your bodyguard.

Here's my card.

Hmm...

Looks good to me.

You're hired!

I feel safer already. What's next?

Well, the maniac could be anywhere

wearing a disguise.

He could be that old man.

Or that baby.

Or that pebble!

Or that stick.

Or that receipt

for the Phony Baloney Mustache Emporium.

Huh? Uh, that's mine.

Oh, bodyguard, my body is in your guarding hands.

What do we do first?

Uh... I suggest we go to a nice quiet, secluded location,

like behind an old dumpster, or a dark alley.

We could go to my house

and turn off all the lights.

Perfect.

That way no one could hear you being strangled...

I mean, uh, uh, protected.

Perfect.

Yes, excellent.

Ah, but first I got to do a few errands.

Uh, okay, but let's make it quick.

"Quick" is my middle name.

Let's see, paper towels.

This one says, "Best paper towel around."

This one says, "Best paper towel in town."

Hmm.

"In town."

"Around."

"In town."

"Around."

What do you think, bodyguard?

Whatever gets us to your house quicker.

I'll take both!

Here you go, Mr. SquarePants.

Hmm...

Is there something wrong?

I'm not sure if these are my pants.

How about this one, bodyguard?

Too overbearing?

Can we just go to your house?

Here we are, SquarePants Manor.

Bodyguard, let me just take this opportunity

to say you're the best bodyguard a fellow could hope to have.

All right, enough of the sappy talk.

Open the door so I can strangle you...

I mean, uh, choke you...

I mean, uh, crush your windpipe... I mean...

"Protect me"?

Thanks.

Don't mention it, Strangler...

I mean "bodyguard."

Now, where did I put my key?

Well, I can't find them.

Do you want to take a look?

Forget the key!

Let's climb through this window.

I can't reach it.

Can you hop up on my shoulders, kid?

Sure.

With these spiky cleats, anything is possible.

"Cleats"?

Get your feet out of my eye sockets!

I'm trying, but my cleats are stuck in your corneas!

Get off! Get off!

Oh, oh, oh!

Don't be mad, bodyguard.

Let me just grab the key I keep under the mat

and we can get inside.

There you are, you little rascal.

Now to put it in the lock,

which should activate the tumblers,

thus opening the door.

Step inside...

Close the door...

Well, here we are.

I finally got you all alone!

I know, isn't it great?

Ooh!

Now you're going to get yours, tattletale!

Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!

A surprise party to celebrate

my perfect on-time percentage at work?

Oh, how'd you guys know?

It's on the invitations you sent us.

Let's boogie!

Bye, everybody, thanks for coming!

Bye, Mr. Krabs, bye, Plankton, bye, Sandy, bye, Larry,

bye, Pearl, bye, Mrs. Puff, bye, Squidward, bye, the rest.

Alone at last.

Huh? What? What?

So we're all alone now?

Just you, me and the floorboards.

Yeah!

Happy birthday, SpongeBob!

How did you guys know today is my birthday?

We just do what the invitations say.

Let's boogie some more!

Thanks for coming!

Whew!

Alone again.

Is it true?

Everybody's gone?

Uh-huh.

No more parties today?

You've got everything you need now?

Nobody's left, we're completely alone?

Oh, yeah.

In that case...

Great parties, huh?

Oh!

Sorry, tubby, you got to go.

Wait, we can trust Patrick.

He's my best friend.

Well, uh, I can't take any chances.

For all we know, uh, he could be the Strangler.

I'm the Strangler?!

Oh, I should have known!

I got to turn myself in!

So Patrick's the Strangler.

Gee, you think you know a guy.

He's not the Strangler!

He's not?

I am!

Hey, how'd you do that without shaving cream?

Oh, it's a fake, you idiot!

I bought it at the party store!

Did someone say "party"?

I can't take it!

Wait, bodyguard, I need protection!

Step on it!

I'm being chased by a maniac!

I'm not safe!

Come back!

Finally! Away from that guy.

Good idea, bodyguard.

He'll never find us up here.

Good thinking, bodyguard.

The Strangler could have been on that plane.

Bodyguard! Bodyguard!

Look, kid...

I'm not your bodyguard!

I'm the Strangler.

See?

The Strangler!

Good work, SpongeBob.

You put the Strangler behind bars.

At least I'm safe from that yellow idiot.

Hey, Mack.

What are you in for?

Well, Patrick, here it is, the Palace of Pranks,

the greatest novelty shop in Bikini Bottom.

All the greatest pranksters shop here.

This is where I got my gag seanut brittle can.

Oh, boy, seanut brittle... Give me!

Patrick, wait, it's a booby trap, remember?

Nice try, SquarePants, but it's not going to work this time.

I'm going to have some of your delicious seanut brittle.

Where's the seanut brittle?

That gets funnier every time you say it, Patrick.

Come on, let's go inside.

Seanut brittle.

Ah!

Nothing compares to the smell of cheap plastic novelty items.

Pranks, gags and gross-out toys as far as the eye can see.

Isn't it everything I said it would be, Patrick?

Hey, seanut brittle!

Oh, darn it, not again.

Good to see you, SpongeBob.

How's my number one customer doing?

Great, Frank.

This is my friend, Patrick.

He wants to become a prankster, too.

Well, pleasure to meet you, Patrick.

That's your first lesson, son...

The granddaddy of all pranks,

the joy buzzer.

I don't get it.

You don't have to get it.

The prank is for the enjoyment of the prankster.

You see, Patrick, Frank here is the master.

I learned all I know about pranks from him.

Frank, let's see what you've got.

Well, this came in just this morning.

Have some gum.

Ha! Exploding chewing gum, only $9.95.

I don't get it.

What can we get for one dollar?

One dollar will get you this fake gag dollar...

Fool your friends into thinking you've got a real dollar.

What else have you got?

A whoopee cushion?

Nah.

Fake vomit.

No.

Real vomit.

Eww!

Have anything good?

Well, there is one prank that I've been saving

for a real top-of-the-line prankster...

Invisible spray.

Wow, invisible spray!

But I can see it.

Gee, Patrick, just think of the pranks

we could pull with this.

Good choice.

Now, be careful with that stuff, boys.

It stains clothes.

Thanks, Frank.

Here it is, Patrick,

the ultimate prank...

Invisible spray.

What are we going to do with it?

I know!

We'll go spray the park bench

and then sit on it,

and when people walk by,

we'll be floating in midair.

They're floating in midair!

How do they do that?

That's the ultimate prank!

Good idea, SpongeBob!

Well, let's get started.

Okay, I'm ready.

Any particular reason you took your pants off?

Well, that stuff stains clothes, right?

That it does, Patrick, that it does.

Good thinking.

Here, hold this a second.

Okay, Patrick, give me the can.

I think since spraying the park bench was my idea,

I should get to spray it.

Patrick, spraying the park bench

was myidea.

Yeah, but I said it was a good idea.

Give me that thing.

Hey, the invisible spray works!

And on your right if you look,

you'll see two naked guys fighting over a can of paint.

Oh, my gosh, Patrick, help me find our clothes!

I got to handit to you, SpongeBob.

You look kind of funny.

Righty, where are you?

No one messes with Righty!

We'll see how youlike it.

Kind of gives you an emptyfeeling, huh?

Yeah!

I seewhat you mean.

No guts, no glory!

I think this thing is empty.

Oh, no, it can't be!

How are we going to pull off the ultimate prank?

Thanks a lot, Patrick.

You used the last of it.

Hey, I think I found our pants.

Oops! Here, these are yours.

Oh, forget the pants, Patrick.

Let's get home and wash this paint off.

Hey, SpongeBob, do you know what time it is?

Oh, sure, it's... half past invisible.

Gee, it's getting late.

Let's ask this guy.

Sir, but do you have the time?

Sure, it's ten to 3:00.

Thank you.

Don't mention it.

Don't mention what?

Who said that?

Me.

Ghosts!

Hey, I'm no ghost!

The nerve of that guy and his driving eyeballs.

Wait a second, Patrick,

my brain just hatched an idea.

Lay it on me.

Okay, we're invisible, right?

Yeah.

If that guy thought we were ghosts,

we could haunt everybody in Bikini Bottom.

Oh, it's the ultimate prank.

High five!

Let's go scare us some suckers.

Huh?

That's funny, I thought I heard voices.

Huh?

I thought I left that glass of peanut juice on the table.

And didn't I toss that old lamp out yesterday?

And since when did I acquire all these portraits of Patrick?

We're ghosts.

I knew it was you guys!

All right, joke's over.

Take off the sheets.

It isghosts!

Boy, we really scared her!

Who's going to be our next victim?

A better question would be, "Who isn't?"

Double-dark deep-sea light diet cake!

You will soon be mine.

Ghosts!

Huh?

Ghosts!

PATRICK AND SPONGEBOB Cowabunga!

Ghosts!

Ghosts!

Ghosts!

Ghosts!

Ghosts!

Toast.

Ghosts!

It's official... we're the greatest pranksters ever.

The whole town thinks we're ghosts.

Yeah.

There's only one guy left to scare,

and we'll have pranked everybody in Bikini Bottom...

Mr. Krabs.

It says he isn't scared of ghosts.

We'll see about that!

Ghosts!

Hah!

I ain't afraid of no ghosts!

Every sailor knows a ghost won't come near a fella

as long as he's wearing his spotted neckerchief...

and his dried-up sea leprechaun.

And a bit of gold never hurt.

But to be on the safe side,

I'm also wearing me pants in a melvin knot,

got me shivering timber brace,

and the hairs on the back of me neck are taped down.

And I'm all wrapped up in a suit of anti-ghost armor.

And if none of this stuff works, I've got me secret weapon...

The specter deflector.

So just try and get me, you ghosts!

Bring it on!

Krabs.

Krabs, we've come to haunt you.

Stay back, I'm well-armed!

I'm warning you.

Ooh!

Boo.

I got to get out of here!

You can't escape, Krabs.

We glued the door shut.

You'll never get me!

Nice try, Krabs, but we replaced all the glass with rubber.

Too late, Krabs, we've already clogged all the toilets.

Please, spirits, leave me be.

We got him good, SpongeBob.

Wait, Patrick, I've got one more idea.

You're going to pay, Krabs.

No, spirits, please!

No!

No!

Don't burn me dollar!

Well, well, well, if it isn't SpongeBob and Patrick.

I know not these names

of which you speak.

Uh, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob, we're visible again.

So you two are the Bikini Bottom ghosts.

We're really sorry, Mr. Krabs.

Please don't chop us up into little pieces and eat them.

Hey, come on, boys, I'm hip.

I pulled my share of pranks when I was your age,

had me some laughs.

That's what we did tonight, right?

We had a good laugh.

Come on, laugh with me.

Uh, any particular reason you boys are naked?

Yeah, the invisible paint stains clothes.

Of course it does.

Well, you two better hurry home before someone sees you nude.

Yeah, I think I'd die of embarrassment if that happened.

Me, too.

No, wouldn't want that, would we?

It's getting late now.

You pranksters better get going.

Mr. Krabs, thanks for being such a good sport.

Don't mention it.

That Mr. Krabs, always looking out for me.

What a guy!

Yeah.

The Krusty Krab presents...

live nude pranksters!

Starring the Bikini Bottom ghosts.

Patrick!

Yeah?

We should have bought the whoopee cushion.

Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org