Original subtitles

Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

♪ Ooh! ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

♪ SpongeBob Squarepants! ♪

♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪

♪ SpongeBob Squarepants! ♪

♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪

♪ SpongeBob Squarepants! ♪

♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪

♪ SpongeBob Squarepants!♪Ready?

♪ SpongeBob Squarepants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob Squarepants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob Squarepants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob Squarepants! ♪

Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON

Time for boating school!

Let it rip, Gary.

Ah...

Ta-da!

Not bad, partner in crime.

The toasts could have been a little darker, though.

See you later.

Hey, SpongeBob, want to go jelly fishing?

Sorry, Patrick, I can't. I have school today.

What am I supposed to do all day while you're at school?

I don't know. What do you normally do when I'm gone?

Wait for you to get back.

Wait a second, Patrick.

Why don't you come to school with me?

Hey, that's a great idea.

You and me in school together as classmates.

Think about it!

Wow.

Brace yourself, Patrick.

I'm about to introduce you

to the greatest academic thrill ride of your lifetime.

I have no line.

Behold, Patrick, the hallway of learning.

And here's the fountain of learning.

And these are the lockers of learning.

And these are the stairs of learning, right?

No, they're just the stairs.

Theseare the stairs of learning.

Where's everyone?

I don't know. Home probably.

Class doesn't start till 9:00.

6:20?

But I thought you said you were late.

Late for being early.

Hey!

When'll you start wearing a watch?

And now for the room with the most class:

the classroom.

Huh?!

And here's the chalkboard.

It's the ladle that helps us drink

from the fountain of knowledge.

Oh!

And those drinks are recorded here

on the Good Noodles Board.

Huh? Oh, sorry.

Attendance.

Penmanship.

Basic Desk Sanitation.

Advanced Desk Sanitation.

I'll add your name

so you can start collecting good noodle stars, too.

There you are.

Look at all the stars you have.

I'll never be that good.

Oh, now, Patrick

I'm just like everyone else

no matter how many stars I have.

Ahem!

Seventy-four.

Who said that?

Was it him?

I doubt it.

That's Roger, our class science project.

What does he teach us?

The greatest lesson of all: the precious value of life.

You see, Patrick, Roger Shell represents the fragile line

between life and death when behind the wheel of a boat.

This lightbulb represents knowledge.

And without its energy and warmth

within minutes, Roger would die.

Life, death! Life, death! Life, death!

Life, death! Life, death!

Patrick!

Sorry.

The best part of being early is

you get to sit close to the teacher.

Think you can handle the second chair?

I'm waiting!

This is gonna be great!

Hello, class.

My name is Mrs. Puff.

And the only reason I say that is because I see we have

a new student.

Young man, why don't you stand up

and introduce yourself.

Who's the fat kid talking to?

You, Patrick; she's the teacher.

Oh.

Come on, now, tell the class your name.

Don't be nervous.

Uh... Duh...

We just want to know your name.

Duh... Duh...

Duh...

Duh!

Twenty-four.

Oh, great, another genius.

Why are they laughing?

I guess it's just in the timing.

Oh.

Today's first lesson will be on "Turning."

Twenty-four.

Hey, Patrick.

What?

I thought of something funnier than 24.

Let me hear it.

Twenty-five.

That's enough!

Young man, this is your first day

so I'll let you off with a warning.

As for you, SpongeBob

I expect more from a good noodle.

Pay attention.

Yes, Mrs. Puff.

Now, then, "Turning":

what every driver should know.

When you are turning

it is important to signal at least...

"Big Fat Meanie"?!

Patrick, you can't do that!

She's the teacher.

What about the teacher?

What...

As if I really look like this!

SpongeBob, I believe you know

the punishment for two classroom disruptions.

No.

I'm sorry, SpongeBob

but if one wishes to bea good noodle

one must behave like a good noodle.

I'm a good noodle!

I'm a good noodle!

You'll get this star back when you earn it.

Nooo!

No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No!

No! No!

Mrs. Puff, is it nap time?

SpongeBob, I've had enough of your nonsense.

Now collect your things

and move to the available desk

in the back of the room!

But... me? But why?

Because the Big Fat Meanie said so.

Now go!

Thanks a lot, Patrick.

Sure thing, buddy.

Oh, I guess I could be a good noodle from back here.

Now, as I was saying, when turning left, you must...

It's so hard to hear.

What kind of student sits back here anyway?

Where am I?

Psst! SpongeBob.

Just ignore him, SpongeBob.

Psst!

SpongeBob, over here.

Whatever you do, don't look at him.

Psst! SpongeBob.

Psst!

SpongeBob!

SpongeBob?

SpongeBob!

SpongeBob.

Psst!

Over here.

I'm trying to tell you something.

Something important.

What?!

Hi.

Hi!

Perhaps this would be a good time for recess.

Hey, buddy.

Funny stuff in there.

Funny stuff.

There is nothing funny about what you did in there, Patrick.

You got me in trouble.

You got me moved to the back of the room!

You caused me one of my good noodle stars!

Who cares about a stupid star?

Gee, Patrick, it seems like

you would care a lot about stupid stars

considering you areone.

I'll deal with you after class.

It isafter class.

Fight! Fight! Fight!

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

I don't see anyone fighting, do you?

They're talking about us.

We're fighting.

I don't mind if I do.

Fight! Fight! Fight...

This is embarrassing.

What's going on here?

Well?

SpongeBob and I were fighting.

Fighting?

Well, I can't believe I'm saying this, but...

SpongeBob Squarepants, I hereby sentence you and your friend

to detention.

Detention?

May Neptune have mercy on your soul.

In one day I've gone from good noodle to bad egg.

It's all stupid Patrick's fault.

I hate you, Patrick.

I hate you more.

Well, I'd hate you no matter what.

Yeah? Well I'd hate you even if I didn't hate you.

I'd hate you even if that made sense.

I'd hate you even if you were me.

That's how much I hate you.

I'd hate you if even, uh...

mm...

I'd hate you even if the lightbulb

keeping Roger alive went out.

I'm sorry I called you a stupid star!

I'm sorry I got you in trouble

and got you moved to the back of class

and got your good noodle star removed

and shot spitballs...

I'm sorry your apology is so long.

Me too. Let's save Roger!

I'll keep him warm

and you get a lightbulb from the supply closet.

Lightbulb.

But why does it have to be so far away?

I'm coming, SpongeBob!

Oh, where's Patrick?

Oh, forget it.

I've got to go find Roger some warmth.

The lightbulb!

Without its warmth, Roger will die.

Roger!

Without him

the lightbulb will have nothing to warm.

We did it, Patrick.

We saved Roger's life.

Good job, boys.

I saw the whole thing

from behind my one-way chalkboard

and I couldn't be happier with your teamwork.

I've decided to give you each one gold star.

Although, I'm not sure what saving an egg

has to do with boating school.

Boating school?

I thought this was Spanish class.

See you, SpongeBob.

See you, Big Fat Meanie.

Hey, what'd I miss?

Uh...

What do you like better?

The coral bits or the nacho oyster skins?

I like neither.

Can I take your order?

How about the barnacle rings?

Are they any good?

No. What will you have?

Well, uh, what's your vote on the kelp...

Sir, let's just get this out of the way.

I hate everything on the menu.

Now what do you want?

Psst. Try the coral bits.

Uh, I'll try the coral bits.

That'll be one dollar.

What's going on?

Something stupid, I'm sure.

Yippee!

Whoo-ha! Whoo-ha! Whoo!

See? I told you.

What's wrong with Mr. Krabs?

Nothing, lad.

Do you know what this is?

A very dirty dollar?

No! This is my one millionth dollar earned.

Every Krab's goal in life is to make a million dollars

and now I got mine.

Congratulations, sir.

You have just given me my one millionth dollar.

Great.

What do I win?

Nothing.

Now get out.

What?

Get out!

Everybody get out!

You're spoiling my moment.

My millionth dollar.

Congratulations, Mr. Krabs.

Congratulate yourselves, lads.

A captain's nothing without his loyal crew.

I mean, a crew like you comes along

maybe once in a lifetime.

And to reward you for helping me

make my millionth dollar

I'm taking you on a trip.

Wow! A trip!

I can't believe it, Mr. Krabs.

Where are we going, Fancy Spring?

No.

Pamper Island?

Try again.

Oh, oh, oh! Bikini Bottom Folk Village.

Better than that.

Clam fishing?

This is the reward we get for all our hard work?

Fishing for stinky clams

in a smelly old boat on a filthy lagoon?

You call this fun?

Aw, come on now, Squidward

three fellas at sea with nothing to do

but throw their lines in the water

catch a few clams and then throw them back.

Don't you think that's fun?

No.

And to think I could be wearing a powdered wig right now.

Hey, Squidward, you want me to cast out over here

so you can watch me?

How about you cast out over there

so I can ignore you.

Okay.

Hey, watch where you're swinging that...

SpongeBob

be careful with...

Okay, I've had enough.

Oh, Squidward, you got to lighten up.

Sure, the lad's a bit overeager

but you've got to learn

to roll with the punches.

Go with the flow.

And don't bring anything on the boat

that you ain't prepared to lose.

Ooh! Ugh!

Me millionth dollar!

SpongeBob

wait!

SpongeBob, you hooked me millionth dollar

on the back swing.

Reel it in before I keelhaul ya.

Oh, no.

SpongeBob, quick, reel it in!

Can't you hear the music?

That's a 4/4 string ostinato in D minor.

Every sailor knows that means death.

Reel it in before it's too late.

Hurry, SpongeBob!

The music's getting faster!

There you are, you stinking bilge rats!

Stop playing that music!

Stop it, please!

I'm begging you.

Come on, honey. You can make it!

Swim faster!

Come to me, baby!

Come on back!

Hurry, SpongeBob!

Here she comes.

Oh, please, please, please, please.

Please, please, please.

She made it!

Yeah!

Oh, oh! Oh, ho-ho!

For a second or two, I thought she was a goner.

So, some trip, hey, Mr. Krabs?

Oh, Squidward

you're never going to believe it.

A giant blue-lipped clam ate me millionth dollar!

I lost me dollar

and I'll never get it back.

Never, never, never, never.

I've never seen Mr. Krabs so broken up.

Oh, please.

He's such a drama queen.

Come on, Mr. Krabs.

Drop the act.

Mr. Krabs, it's just a stupid dollar.

For Pete's sake, Mr. Krabs

suck it up!

Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs.

Okay, okay, Mr. Krabs.

We'll help you get your dollar back.

You will?

Great!

Wait right here.

Here's where clam fishing gets serious.

Okay, you boys man the fishing poles.

And I'll keep me eyes peeled for Old Blue Lip.

Aye-aye, Captain.

And remember, we don't leave until we catch that clam

and rescue me dollar.

That's it.

I'm finished.

We've been here for three days

and haven't gotten a nibble.

This is hopeless!

Yeah. And I've got to get home to feed Gary.

We're going to die out here

just because a clam ate Mr. Krabs' stupid dollar.

Well, if he wants his dollar back

I say we give it to him.

Know what I mean?

Huh? Huh? Huh?

Oh, I get you.

Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs.

Look what we got!

Oh, could it be?

Me millionth dollar!

Whoa.

Wait a minute.

This isn't me millionth dollar.

This is an ordinary dollar

that's been crumpled up

torn slightly, soaked in the lagoon

and kissed with Coral Blue Number Two Semi-gloss Lipstick.

Actually, it's Coral Blue Number Three.

I trusted you, and you gave me this!

I can't believe

me own crew would betray me like this.

No. Uh-uh.

No. We will not be swayed by tears anymore.

I see.

Then I guess I have no choice but to offer a reward.

You're kidding?

Whoo! It isn't another fishing trip?

No.

It's this sandwich.

A sandwich?

You expect me to break my back

over a sandwich?

Not asandwich.

Thesandwich.

Whatever.

We've got plenty more to...

eat.

Now, I think we understand each other.

Nobody eats

until I get my millionth dollar back.

Uh, SpongeBob

can I have a word with you?

Have you noticed

that Mr. Krabs has gone

completely insane?!

What do you mean?

Just look at him.

Squidward, he's lost something near and dear to him.

Haven't you...?

Look again.

You're right.

How do we get out of here?

If we're real quiet

we can sneak over to the lifeboat.

Okay.

So, you thought you'd skip out

on old Krabs, did you?

Even after you promised to help me.

I know what you're thinking.

"It's just a dumb old dollar."

"Let's just leave the old man."

"He won't notice."

Well, it's not going down like that.

There's only one use

for a backstabbing crew like you:

live bait!

You're crazy.

If that clam didn't come before

what makes you think he'll come now?

Oh, he'll come.

Mr. Krabs, listen.

I work with SpongeBob all day long

so I know what I'm talking about when I say...

you are completely out of your mind!

Get us out of here!

Come on, fresh meat!

Keep thrashing!

He likes it!

Come on, boy!

Closer...

closer.

Almost there.

That's it!

A-ha!

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Look, boys!

I finally got it!

I finally got me millionth dollar!

Oh, poor Mr. Krabs.

Gone forever out of our lives.

Why couldn't it have been me?

Yes. Why couldn't it have been you?

Why did he have to go like this? Why?

Why did he have to go like this

and leave me tied to this idiot?

Hello, boys!

Mr. Krabs?

Have you boys met...

me millionth dollar?

Wow! How did you get it back?

It wasn't easy.

Old Blue Lips is quite the fighter

so eventually, we settled on a trade.

What did you give him?

Nothing important.

Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org