Original subtitles

Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

♪ Ooh!

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

♪ Spongebob Squarepants! ♪

♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪

♪ Spongebob Squarepants! ♪

♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪

♪ Spongebob Squarepants! ♪

♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪

♪ Spongebob Squarepants!♪ready?

♪ Spongebob Squarepants!

♪ Spongebob Squarepants!

♪ Spongebob Squarepants!

♪ Spongebob Squarepants!

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

[and NICKELODEON]

And there's that and here we go.

Wey, wook, it's Windward.

What?

Windward's wolling to work.

Where does he work? Wat the Wusty Wab?

What's that supposed to be, some kind of stupid secret code?

We can't tell you

'cause you're not a member of the club.

Oh, yeah?

What does it take to be a member

besides being a moron?

Moron...

as a requirement.

Sorry, Squidward, but you couldn't get in

even if you tried.

Well, I'll have you know that I am a member

of over 20 different exclusive clubs

all across the sea bottom.

What did he say?

I don't know.

Something about his nose.

Squidward, you and your nose will definitely not fit in.

Oh, what do you two zeros know about fitting in?

You should be begging me to join.

Stop! No, no, no!

Stop. Stop, Squidward.

You can't join. Can't join.

You can't get in.

Well, this is stupid.

There's no room up here.

That's what we've been trying to tell you.

We've been stuck up here for three days.

We told you you wouldn't fit in.

Well, since you're here, Squidward

we'll give you the new member initiation.

Are you ready, Patrick?

Ready.

♪ Welcome to our club, welcome to our club ♪

♪ Welcome Squidward, welcome, Squidward ♪

♪ Welcome, Squidward, welcome, Squidward... ♪

Shut your half-wit pie holes!

I do not now nor will I ever

want to be a member of your stupid club.

Make a wish, honey.

Woo-woo-woo! Woo-hoo!

Again! Again! Again!

This didn't just happen.

Please, tell me that didn't happen.

What happened?

Where are we?! We're lost! There's no way out.

Stuck in the middle of nowhere with Spongebob and Patrick!

Oh, why must every 11 minutes of my life

be filled with misery? Why?!

Oh, cheer up, Squid. It could be worse.

Yeah, you could be bald and have a big nose.

Well, this is the end.

No, it's not, Squidward.

It's not?

Come on, guys.

We're going to be fine as long as we stick together.

Remember, we're a club.

And besides, we have this.

What's that?

Oh, the magic conch shell.

Ask it something! Ask it something!

Magic conch shell, will I ever get married?

Maybe someday.

You've got to be kidding!

That is just a stupid toy.

How can that possibly help us?

Squidward, we must never question the wisdom

of the magic conch.

The club always takes its advice

before we do anything.

The shell knows all.

Oh, magic conch shell

what do we need to do to get out of the kelp forest?

Nothing.

The shell has spoken!

Nothing? We can't just sit here and do nothing.

I can't believe you two are going

to take advice from a toy.

All right, all right. I don't need your help.

I am going to find my way back to sanity.

But don't you two sad clowns come crying to me

when your circus tent comes crashing down.

Sad clown.

Sad... clown.

What was that?

I was already here!

Which way do I go?!

Oh, I'm lost!

Oh, I'm hopelessly lost!

I'll never get out of here!

Huh?

I'm free!

Take that, Spongebob and Patrick!

Huh?

Oh...

There's no way out of here.

How's it going over there at Club Shell for Brains?

Mm-mm-mm. I am hungry.

I wonder what's on the menu for Club Squidward tonight.

Ah.

Smell good, Spongebob?

You haven't eaten in days...

What about you, Patrick?

A big boy's got to eat.

Well, you can't have any.

And do you know why, Spongebob?

Because your club president is a shell.

If you had listened to me

you'd have food, shelter and a roaring fire

but instead you listened to a talking clam

that tells you nothing.

'Cause the answers to all your problems

will fall right out of the sky.

Fall right out of the sky.

Dude, we're falling right out of the sky!

We got to drop the load!

Praise the magic conch!

Mm, mm.

Hey, Spongebob, that sure is

a lot of food you got there.

It's a gift from the magic conch.

Everything sure looks delicious.

Ooh, smoked sausages, my favorite.

Uh, hey, Spongebob

you know I was just kidding around earlier.

I mean, I'm still part of the club, right?

And after all, the club got to stick together.

I mean, you know...

Squidward.

Yes?

Once a member, always a member.

To the club!

Yeah.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

What shall I eat first

the spaghetti, the turkey, the soup, the canned meat?

Why don't you ask the magic conch, Squidward?

Oh, yeah, like that'll happen.

Right after I consult the magic toenail.

Squidward, are you questioning

the authority of the magic conch?

The conch is the one who gave us this banquet.

This copyrighted conch is the cornerstone

of our organization.

Maybe he's not a brother.

You guys have it all wrong.

I love this piece of plastic.

Hello, there.

Magic conch, I was wondering

should I have the spaghetti or the turkey?

Neither.

Oh. Then how about the soup?

I don't think so.

Can I have anything to eat?

No.

No? What do you mean no?

I'm starving here!

Here, let me try.

Magic conch, could Squidward have some of this

yummy, delicious, super-terrific sandwich?

No.

Hmm. Could I have this

yummy, delicious, super terrific sandwich?

Yes.

All right!

Sorry, Squidward.

Give me that!

Could I have something to eat?

No.

Could I have something to eat?

No.

Could I have something to eat?

No.

Can't you say anything else but no?

Try asking again.

Can I have something to eat?

No.

Squidward, are you all right?

Maybe we should ask the shell if he's okay.

Hello, anyone there? Hello? Hello?

Do you folks need some help?

I'm saved!

You don't know how happy I am to see you.

I've been stranded out here for weeks

with these two barnacle-heads

and their magic conch shell.

Magic conch shell?

You mean like this?!

Magic conch! A club member!

My conch told me to come save you guys.

Hooray for the magic conches!

All right, magic conch, what do we do now?

Nothing.

All hail the magic conch!

All hail the magic conch!

Ah... springtime in Bikini Bottom.

All sea creatures

have an innate sense of the seasonal changes.

Like the starfish.

A quick survey of his environment

and he knows that...

It's spring!

The starfish then sheds his winter coat

and stores it away safe for winter.

I better call the doctor

'cause I've got spring fever!

Good morning, little flowers.

Good morning, Squidward.

Isn't it a lovely day?

Huh.

Did you say hello to the flowers yet?

Good morning, flowers.

Gosh, I didn't know Squidward had hay fever.

I'll do him a kindness

and planet some hypoallergenic flowers.

You're on your way.

I bet you're thirsty.

I'm not taking my eyes off you.

Hey, Spongebob.

Hi, Patrick.

How does this keep happening?

Hi.

She's beautiful.

Wow...

What a magnificent sea horse.

I shall tame her.

Who knows what we can accomplish!

"Because of her mysterious behavior

I have decided to name her Mystery."

Hmm, now that I think about it

she's also very graceful and majestic.

Perhaps I should name her Grace or Majesty

or Debbie.

She must have spotted my floral bookmark.

She's coming this way.

That's a girl.

Don't be afraid.

I'm just a talking sponge is all.

Gosh, Mystery

that was the greatest day of my life.

Do you think we'll be friends forever?

I'll take that as a "yes."

What the...?

Hey, Squidward, still riding to work on the machine I see.

Don't say anything, Squidward.

Remember your karma.

Whoa, girl.

Now, you wait out here until I'm done with work.

See you at the end of my shift.

Hey, look, Mr. Krabs put in a kiddy ride.

Why don't you try it out?

I can't find the coin slot.

Here it is.

Yee-ah! Help!

Kiddie ride on the loose!

What's with all the ruckus?

A monster...

scaring away me customers.

That's not a monster, Mr. Krabs.

It's a horse.

She's my friend.

Her name is Mystery.

You're a mystery, Spongebob.

Get rid of it.

Huh? Please, Mr. Krabs, let her stay.

She won't hurt nobody no how.

It's either you or Mystery.

I knew I should have named her Debbie.

Spongebob, thanks

for finally getting rid of that horse.

You're welcome, Mr. Krabs.

Now if we could just get rid of Squidward.

Good one, sir.

Ha! It worked, girl.

I'll just keep you back here

until Patrick finishes that stable

I asked him to build.

Only eight more hours.

No, Mystery.

You can't come out yet.

If old man Krabs sees you

I'll lose my job.

Wait a sec.

I'll bet you're hungry.

How about some lunch?

Shh, girl, you got to be quiet, or...

Spongebob, what was that?

Is that horse in here?

No, Mr. Krabs.

I was just doing my imitation of Mystery.

Well, keep working on it.

That was terrible.

That was close.

And from now on no more high jinks.

Order up!

Spongebob, where's my order?

Did you look under the tray?

Oh, no I didn't. Sorry.

Spongebob, could you just get my order?

They vanished.

Squidward, do you think the Krusty Krab is haunted?

What if they come for me next?

I got to get out of here!

Spongebob...

there's no ghosts.

Oh.

In case you've forgotten

here's how things work.

I order the food.

You cook the food.

Then the customer gets the food.

We do that for 40 years

and then we die.

Sounds like a pretty good deal to me.

What do you say?

Yeah, I hear you, Squidward.

I'll be right back.

What's that?

Don't tell Mr. Krabs.

I've got it all under control.

Now then, you were saying?

Just get my order.

You got it, Squidward.

Ghosts.

Mystery, you ate my hat.

Mystery, you ate my spatula!

You ate all the Krabby patties.

You ate the stove!

You ate old man Jankins.

I don't want to be a burden.

Folks, we have a minor situation going on in the kitchen.

Where's our food?

I'm so hungry.

This is my only lunch hour.

Where's old man Jankins?

Take it easy.

The food's no good here anyway.

Squidward, what's going on in here?

Why don't you go ask Cowbob Ranch Pans

and his faithful companion Sir Eats-a-lot.

Spongebob, what's the meaning of all these nicknames?

David H. Jones!

Mystery got a bellyache from eating Krabby patties

so I made her a bicarbonate of soda.

What did I miss?

So, my eyes arecorrect!

You still have that horse after I ordered you to get rid of it!

Well, now, I'm going to get rid of it once and for all.

No, Mr. Krabs, please don't make me give up Mystery!

I know you think she's just a horse

but she's more than that, I tell you.

She listens to me.

She understands everything I say and I understand her.

She's my best friend.

Hey, who left this bowl of onions here?

Spongebob, your story has touched me heart.

Believe it or not, I know what's it like

to give up a best friend.

You do?

I was five years old

and me father gave me a dollar.

I loved that dollar.

Loved it like a brother.

Me and that dollar went everywhere together.

What happened to the dollar, Mr. Krabs?

And one day at the beach

it was so hot

and I was so thirsty.

I spent it on a soda.

My best friend.

Would you get out of here?

The point is, son

sometimes you have to set things free

even though it's hard.

Look at her.

She misses the great outdoors.

The wide open spaces

the rolling green pastures.

The kitchen is no place for a live horse.

All right, Mr. Krabs, I understand.

Hey!

Okay, girl, you're free to go.

I can't keep you anymore.

I know it's hard for you to understand

but Mr. Krabs is right.

You belong in the wild.

Well, what are you waiting for?

Can't you see I don't want you anymore?

Just get out of here, you stupid, dumb animal!

Well, she's gone

and I'll never see her again.

It's okay, son.

You did the proper thing.

She's free now

and we have no right to separate that wild animal

from its natural habitat.

Hey, Mr. Krabs.

Looks like ol' Mystery had an after-dinner salad.

Get that horse!

Mystery...

Come back!

Mystery...

Mystery, come back here!

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

[and NICKELODEON]