Original subtitles

Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

♪ Oh...

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he. ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish... ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish. ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ Ready? SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!

Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON

A slow day at the Krusty Krab.

Hey, Squidward, check this out.

Two ordinary Krabby Patties,

but when expertly tossed with the skill of a champ

they become...

A one-way ticket to pain!

Huh?

Heave ho!

What the devilfish is going on out here?!

Time is money,

and if you boys is wasting time, then you're wasting money.

And that's just sick!

But we were performing a ritual to attract customers,

and the only way it can work is for us to get hurt... real bad.

What stupid barnacle told you that?

Uh...

Listen, instead of killing yourselves,

I've got something real important for you to do for me.

Now, are you men ready for your super...

"Super..."

Special...

"Special..."

Secret...

"Secret..."

Assignment.

Put us out of our misery.

I gotta know, I gotta know, I gotta know.

The two of you are to paint the inside of me house.

Yay!

But, let me give you two a warning...

This here paint is absolutely permanent.

It will never come off,

so if I see even one drop on anything but wall,

I'll have your rear ends cut off and mounted over me fireplace!

So have fun with the job.

Patrick.

Yeah, SpongeBob.

Mr. Krabs sure has a lot of expensive treasures

to drip paint on.

Do you think we should take this stuff off the walls?

No way, SpongeBob.

We're not getting paid to move stuff.

Patrick, we're not getting paid at all.

Well, that's what I said...

We're not getting paid, and that's final!

Okay, we'll just paint around all this stuff.

Good, just don't pay me.

First, we need to set out the tarp.

Tarp, ahoy!

We're going to need more coverage, Patrick.

Now, that's what I'm talking about.

Well, I guess we should open

these cans of permanent paint now.

That will never, ever come off.

And if we get it on anything,

Mr. Krabs will cut our butts off...

And mount them on the wall.

Careful, SpongeBob.

Careful, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob, careful.

Careful, SpongeBob.

Careful, SpongeBob.

Careful, SpongeBob!

Careful, SpongeBob!

Patrick, the lid's already off.

Oh.

Now it' my turn.

I should do this one, too, Patrick.

Well, that was a rip-off.

Okay, Patrick, let's get our brushes ready.

Uh, maybe we should start with a smaller brush.

All right, Patrick, got to get started...

painting this wall...

with the permanent paint that we can't get on anything...

but the wall.

Well, here we go.

Just a few more seconds of mental preparation

and I'll be painting this wall.

I'm getting to the painting.

Can you move it along?

I'm all out of time cards.

No problem.

Here I go.

Yeah.

Huh?!

Barnacles!

What could be worse than a giant paint bubble?

Oh, I know.

Two giant paint bubbles.

Patrick!

Yeah, SpongeBob.

I don't think it can get much bigger.

Nonsense!

Pat, no!

We did it.

We painted the whole house,

and without getting paint on anything but...

Flopping flotsam! What's that?

We're dead, Patrick.

Do you know what that is?

Mmm, it's a dollar.

I win!

That's not just a dollar.

It's Mr. Krabs's first dollar,

his most prized possession.

And we got paint on it!

I think you are overreacting, SpongeBob.

I don't see any paint.

Okay, this isn't a problem.

Maybe I can just wipe it off.

There, I think I got it.

Oh, now I see it.

This is not good, Patrick.

This is not good.

Mr. Krabs is going to be home soon,

and when he sees what we did to his dollar...

Wait, SpongeBob, all we got to do is wash the paint off

and Krabs will never know.

But Mr. Krabs said...

Forget what Mr. Krabs said.

Every paint comes off with something.

Did it work?

No.

Did it work?

No.

Did it work?

No.

Nothing's working!

Wait, SpongeBob!

We're not cavemen.

We have technology.

It didn't work.

This is all Mr. Krabs' fault.

If he hadn't hung that stupid dollar in the first place...

I mean, it's not like it looks any different

than a regular dollar.

Why hang it?

You could just stick any old dollar bill up on the wall...

No one would even know the difference.

You might as well just reach into my wallet,

pull out a dollar and put it on the wall.

Okay, Patrick, take out your wallet.

I don't see where you're going with this.

Hey, a dollar.

Our butts are saved, Patrick.

Now all we have to...

Patrick, no!

Patrick, no.

Why did you put it...?

Grab it, Pat, grab it.

Hurry, hurry!

Oh, Pat, no, no.

Get it, Pat, get it, get it, get it.

Want a bite?

Okay, okay, we still got time.

Don't panic, SpongeBob, panic is the enemy.

You are strong.

Through your strength you shall overcome.

You're on your own, pal.

Hurry, Patrick, put the dollar back on the wall.

I got an idea.

♪ La, la, la-la-la.

What the...?

We're all done.

Everything looks great.

Yeah, you don't have to look around.

We already did that for you.

You both look like you got

a dirty little secret.

Ha, I'm kidding.

Let's see how you did.

Ooh, not bad, boys, not bad.

A nice even coat, high gloss, no bubbles.

Yeah, looks great, Mr. Krabs.

We'll just be going.

Flipping fish parcels, look what you did!

Please don't cut off our butts.

Oh, Mr. Krabs, I'm so sorry.

"Sorry?"

You dusted all my knickknacks.

That was really nice.

Great Barrier Reef!

What's this?

That's not our fault.

I don't want to be buttless.

Oh, and I suppose the floor molding

just painted itself on its own.

That's what I call craftsmanship.

Criminy jim jim!

You messed up my dollar...

rama.

All the dolls in this dollarama

were perfectly aligned.

Mama.

And you boys thought I wouldn't notice.

Oh, well, I guess no harm done.

All right, boys,

you're free to go.

Ow! That's funny.

I don't remember a stack of paintings

where me first dollar used to be.

In fact, I don't remember this painting at all.

Or this one.

Or this one.

Or this one.

Or this one.

Or this one.

Or this one.

Hi, Mr. Krabs.

SpongeBob, what are you doing?

Oh, you know, just hanging around.

Boo!

Get down onto the floor, boy.

All right, now you're just being silly.

No, no, no!

Mr. Krabs, no.

Don't look.

It's a trick.

Did you two get paint all over me first dollar?!

We're so sorry, Mr. Krabs.

And then did you draw on it with crayon?

I thought, you know, maybe he'd buy it.

All right, boys!

You know what I've got to do now?

You mean, our butts?

Can I use mine one last time?

There we go, good as new.

But... but... but... but...

Yeah, I lied.

This paint actually comes off with saliva.

Oh, I get it, Mr. Krabs.

You told us the paint was permanent

so me and Patrick would be more careful

and not get paint on anything.

Nah, I just like to mess with you.

Oh, the old man's still got it.

Aw, crud.

I really got to learn to say it, not spray it.

Welcome aboard.

If you're watching this video, then let me be the first to say:

You've recently been hired

by The Krusty Krab Restaurant

and this is your first official day of training.

Can I make a Krabby Patty now?

Oh, no, you've got a lot to learn

before you're ready to make a Krabby Patty.

As you can see by this graph...

Graph.

You are now employed

by one of the most successful restaurants in Bikini Bottom.

But it didn't get that way overnight...

because the store closes at 6:00.

No, story of The Krusty Krab

is a story of one man's hard work, perseverance, vision,

determination and sweat.

But mostly his sweat.

You may think Mr. Eugene H. Krabs,

owner and founder of Krusty Krab Inc.,

has always been the financial wizard he is today.

And you're right.

After the war,

Krabs stayed secluded in a deep depression that seemed endless.

But then his luck changed

when he acquired a bankrupt retirement home,

and with a few minor alterations,

The Krusty Krab was born.

Sounds like a lot of...

Hoopla!

Sounds like a lot...

Hoopla!

Sounds like a...

Hoopla!

Hoopla!

Sounds like a lot of hoopla

to make over a little Krabby Patty, right?

Wrong!

To keep up with today's demanding customers,

no expense has been spared

to acquire all the latest achievements

in fast-food technology.

This here is an advanced patty-control mechanism.

Here you see our automated money-handling system.

Don't touch.

These are high-quality

beverage temperature devices.

Imported.

This here's a prototype liquid transfer machine.

And most importantly,

you get your state-of-the-art

condiment-dispersal units.

You going to buy something?

There's a standing fee.

All of this modernization

seems a little overwhelming doesn't it?

Well, luckily for you,

Mr. Krabs' fear of robot overlords

keeps the balance of technology in check.

But if modernization is the heart of The Krusty Krab,

then employees are the liver and gallbladder.

Let's see if you've got what it takes.

Hmm... poised, confident, and a smile that says,

"Hello, world, may I take your order?"

You've got the makings of a good employee, Mr. SquarePants.

But for every good employee, there's one who is not so good.

Let's see... inattentive, impatient,

a glazed look in the eyes.

Look carefully

at the, "I Really Wish I Weren't Here Right Now" button.

There's a name for employees like this,

but we'll call him Squidward.

I'm getting paid overtime for this, right, Mr. Krabs?

Sorry, can't hear you!

Does this mean I get to make a Krabby Patty now?

No, you can't make a Krabby Patty

without understanding the phrase:

"POOP"?

Once you understand POOP,

you'll understand your place at The Krusty Krab.

But what does POOP mean?

It's actually a carefully organized code.

Watch closely.

Ah... POOP!

Looks like Mr. SquarePants understands POOP.

Here's a typical customer.

I wonder what he wants.

Well, if we just remember POOP, we can figure it out.

I'd like to order...

Do you think he's going to order:

One patty, please.

Ah, POOP, you never let us down!

Now that you understand POOP,

I bet you think you're ready to make a Krabby Patty.

Krabby Patty!

Ha-ha... not so fast, Eager McBeaver.

We haven't even talked about:

Every employee of The Krusty Krab

must comply with a strict set of personal hygiene guidelines.

Okay, Mr. SquarePants,

are you ready to prepare for your shift?

A good employee always scrubs his hands thoroughly.

Be sure to get under those fingernails.

And don't forget about the knuckles.

And make sure those palms are squeaky clean.

All right, let's see those hands.

Now, that's thorough!

After making sure your feet are polished,

your face is clear of any blemishes or boils,

and your hair is neat and tidy,

you are ready to start the day.

Now let's see how Squidward prepares for his shift.

Huh?

Remember, no employee wants to be a Squidward.

Now that you're clean and hygienic,

I'll bet you think you're ready to make that Krabby Patty.

I'm ready!

I'm ready!

I'm ready!

I'm ready!

Whoa, there.

We still have a few more topics to cover first.

It's important to keep your area tidy and free of droppings.

But a clean workstation is only part of the job.

To make the vision in your head a reality, you'll need supplies,

and a good employee always keeps his supplies well-organized.

Very nice, Mr. SquarePants, not a pickle out of place.

Now let's see how Squidward keeps his workstation.

Oh!

Don't worry, Squidward,

Mr. SquarePants can cover for you.

Now that your workstation is up and running, perhaps you think

you're ready to make the world-famous Krabby Patty.

Calm down.

There's plenty of time left.

We have to make sure you're ready

for the psychological aspect of the job...

Mr. Krabs, can I have a raise?

No.

Good job, Mr. SquarePants!

Can I make a Krabby Patty now?

And now we move from behind the scenes

to the front lines, where we'll examine

the most important aspect of the industry: the customer.

Or, as we like to say, the "Krustomer."

Who said that?

Are you a ghost?

Like precious, precious blood in an animal,

customers are what keeps The Krusty Krab strong and alive.

Squidward, your ceiling is talking to me!

Are you going to order something

or just make friends with the paneling?

Uh... I'll have an uh...

Uh... uh... uh... ah...

What's that?

Patrick, go be stupid somewhere else.

Ah-ah-ah, Squidward, remember what Mr. Krabs says.

The ceiling is right, Squidward,

you're not a very good employee.

Fine.

May I please take your order?

I'll have, uh...

Ah...

We'll check in with these two later.

Right now, it's important that we discuss an:

Like the lost gold of Atlantis,

many consider their Krabby Patty to be a treasure.

And as with every treasure,

there's a thief ready to steal it.

So it's up to you to be the watchful eyes of...

What's this?

It's Mr. Krabs' business rival, Plankton.

Eat my microscopic dust, Krabs!

Your secret formula is finally mine!

He's stealing the formula!

What are you going to do, Mr. SquarePants?

You'll never catch me, Krabs,

not when I shift into maximum overdrive!

Hi-ya!

I knew I should've gotten the turbo.

Hear me, Krabs!

You'll take this Krabby Patty from me

when you pry it from my cold, dead...

And so another emergency is avoided,

thanks to Mr. SquarePants.

Let's check in on Squidward again.

Uh...

Psst, Squidward.

Huh?

Just remember:

Patrick, if I could make a suggestion,

why don't you just order a Krabby Patty?

Great idea, Squidward.

One Krabby Patty, please.

Is that for here or to go?

Uh...

Hang in there, Squidward, it's all part of the job.

Now that we've covered all the basics of your training,

it's time for the moment you've been waiting for.

Preparing the Krabby Patty!

At the center of every great dynasty is the crown jewel,

which keeps it alive and thriving.

For The Krusty Krab, this is the Krabby Patty.

And now you, the humble employee off the street,

the all-too-necessary human resource

that keeps this business afloat,

will learn the sacred and dark secrets

of how to prepare, with your very own hands...

The sumptuous, lip-moistening,

spine-tingling, heart-stopping pleasure center

that is a Krabby Patty.

Are you ready?

Are you sure?

Okay, the secret formula...

Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org