Original subtitles

Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

♪ Oh...

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he. ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish... ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish. ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ Ready? SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!

Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON

We now return

to tonight's Creepy-Time Theaterpresentation

of "Night of the Robot."

Hurry, Gary, the scary robot movie's on.

What do you mean I shouldn't watch this?

Scary movies don't always freak me out.

What if Mom is a robot?

What if Uncle Sherm is a robot?

What if Gary is a robot?

Gary?

Psst, Gary?

Gare-bear?

Gary, if you were a robot, you'd tell me, right?

Oh, I got nothing to worry about.

And now to get a good night's sleep.

Robot! Oh, my gosh!

Huh?

How about a little music

to count me money to?

And now for the number-one song in Bikini Bottom,

"Electric Zoo."

Hey, that's pretty catchy!

♪ Bee-bee-boo-bop, bee-bee-boo-beep. ♪

Yeah, that's not bad.

I love this young people's music.

I surrender!

Oh.SQUIDWARD: SpongeBob!

Squidward, why are you wearing my hat on your nose?

I'm not; I'm waiting for number 17's order!

Number 17... Krabby Patty and a medium beverage.

Of course.

Sorry, Squidward, I'm not really feeling myself today.

I keep thinking robots are taking over the world...

Probably because I watched this movie

where robots take over the world.

I even asked Gary if he was a robot.

Pretty funny, huh?

Hilarious.

Just deliver the food.

There you go.

Enjoy your...

Say, you're not a robot, are you?

No. I'm not.

Well, keep your eyes peeled.

They're everywhere.

Back to work!

I feel completely recharged.

That sounds like Mr. Krabs.

Come on, little buddy, play it again, please?

One more time,

for me.

That was strange.

Mr. Krabs was talking to his radio

and he said he feels "recharged."

If I didn't know better, I'd say he was...

a robot!

Nah.

Yes, hello.

I was wondering if you could play that song again.

Hmm, which one, man?

The one that goes "Bee-boo-boo-bop, boo-boo-beep."

No, man, you're thinking of "Bee-boo-boo-bop, boo-boo-bop."

Bee-bee-boo, boo-boo-bop?

Bee-boo-boo-bop?

Boo-boo-bee-bop?

Not "Bee-boo-boo-beep"?

Bop?

Beep?!

Boo-boo-bop?!

Oh, my gosh!

Why was Mr. Krabs making all those beeping sounds?

Could it be that he's a robot?

Nah.

Oh, Squidward, it's terrible!

Mr. Krabs... talking to radio...

beeping sounds... strange dancing...

robot!

That's great, SpongeBob.

Why don't you work on this problem back in the kitchen!

I'm serious, Squidward.

Mr. Krabs is a robot.

And I can prove it, too!

How did you...?

Let's see... in the movie,

the robots didn't have a sense of humor;

they couldn't laugh.

Hey, Mr. Krabs!

What is it, boy?

Squidward just told me a hilarious joke

and I thought you might like to hear it.

Is it true, Squidward?

Is it hilarious?

Um... yeah, sure.

Well, let's hear it, lad.

Okay, here it goes.

Uh, how'd it go, Squidward?

It went... um, uh, let's see, uh...

Why couldn't the 11-year-old get into the pirate movie?

Why?

It was rated "Arr!"

Arr!

Because it's... about... pirates.

I'm not paying you to do stand-up, Mr. Squidward.

Now, get back to work.

Not even a chuckle!

See, Squidward?

He didn't laugh because he couldn't laugh

because he's a robot!

There's a logical explanation why he didn't laugh, SpongeBob.

He's obviously heard it before.

The only reason you think Krabs is a robot

is because you watched that stupid movie.

Now, why don't you...

Hey, Mr. Krabs!

What? What is it, boy?

Squidward's father never hugged him.

Isn't that sad?

Yes, I suppose that is rather sad.

But Squidward can hug himself during his break.

Now, get back to work.

Just like the robot in the movie... he couldn't cry either.

SpongeBob, this is getting ridiculous.

I'll have you know my father loved me very much!

That's the final test, Squidward... the love test.

Robots can't love.

Now, wait, SpongeBob...

Hey, Mr. Krabs!

What is it, SpongeBob?

I just wanted to tell you that Squidward loves you!

Get back to work, Mr. Squidward.

Squidward?

Aw, me radio died.

Mmm... these batteries still have a little juice in them.

I know... I'll give them to Pearl for Christmas.

Me hard-boiled egg is ready!

I can already taste it.

Come to Papa!

Gotcha!

And what good is a hard-boiled egg without a little salt?

Mr. Krabs!

Oh, my eyes! Aah!

Mister...

Will you be quiet?

What did these robots in the movie look like?

They had piercing red eyes, metal pincers for hands

and they ran on batteries.

Okay, so tell me, does Mr. Krabs look anything like that?!

I'll evacuate the customers, you call the Navy.

Hello, operator, get me the Navy.

Hello, you've reached the Navy's automated phone service.

Squidward, the robots are running the Navy!

Not the Navy!

Everyone, run for your lives!

Robots have taken over the world!

Our world!

What do we do now?

I don't know.

Hey, a nickel!

SpongeBob!

Sorry.

Ah, that's better.

♪ Bee, boo-boo-bee-boop, boo-boo-bop... ♪

We need to find out

what that robot did with the real Mr. Krabs, but how?

Well, in the movie the hero teams up with a buddy

and they get the poop on the robot.

They poop on the robot?

Yeah, you know, they get the straight poop,

ask questions, get information.

I never thought I'd say this,

but, SpongeBob, let's get that poop!

Oh, hello, boys.

What can I do for you?

Why did you lock the door?

Why do you have that rope?

Who's watching the cash register?!

SpongeBob! Squidward!

What's the meaning of this?

Untie me this instant!

Shut up.

Sweet Davy Jones!

What the heck is going on?

I said shut up, you bucket of bolts!

I can't take it!

SpongeBob, are you okay?

Oh, Squidward, seeing you slap Mr. Krabs like that

is just too horrible to watch.

No, that's not Mr. Krabs.

That's Robot Krabs.

Oh, yeah.

And the only way to deal with these robot types

is to find out what they know.

Right.

SpongeBob, you got to ask him a question first.

Oh, yeah.

What color is my underwear?

SpongeBob,

let me handle this.

Where's Mr. Krabs?

What are you talking about?

I'm Mr. Krabs.

We can do this all night if you want.

Where's Mr. Krabs?

I'm Mr. Krabs.

Where's Mr. Krabs?

I'm Mr. Krabs.

Where's Mr. Krabs?

I am Mr. Krabs!

I am! I am! I am! I am! I am! I am! I am!

This is one stubborn robot.

What?!

You think I'm a robot?!

We don't think; we know.

That's the silliest thing I've ever heard.

I am Mr. Krabs!

He's not cracking.

We'll never get it out of him this way.

I got an idea.

Keep an eye on him, Squidward.

Don't fall for any of his robo-tricks.

If Robot Krabs won't tell us where Mr. Krabs is,

maybe one of his little robot friends will.

SpongeBob, uh, that's a blender.

Yeah, but I saw Mr. Krabs talking with his radio before.

He called it his "little buddy."

Oh, really?

Put it on the table, SpongeBob.

You're going to interrogate my blender?

You're crazy!

We're just going to see what your "little buddy" knows.

No, wait!

What are you going to do to me blender?!

That cost me money!

Where's Mr. Krabs?

Not talking, eh?

No! That cost me $24.95!

I guess it didn't know anything.

Go get the toaster.

No, not me toaster.

That cost me $32.50!

$62.67!

Fort...

Well, actually, that one was a gift.

No!

This is the last robot, Squidward.

No! Not my cash register!

I raised it myself!

I got it when it was just a little calculator.

No!

I thought you said robots can't cry.

I also said they couldn't love.

I loved it like it was me own!

Ah... at least he's not laughing.

Oh, I remember the laughs we used to share...

SpongeBob, how did that movie of yours end?

The movie?

Oh, yeah, the ending was great!

Turns out there weren't any robots after all.

It was just their... imagination.

Hey, it's time to feed Gary.

Squidward!

Gary, the paper's here!

You can have this, buddy,

because all I need is the "entertainment section."

I am a happy sponge!

I see you got the paper.

Oh, hey, Patrick.

Well, I better get going.

Yep, see you later.

Cheep-cheep-cheep.

What did you say?

I didn't say anything.

I didn't say anything either.

See you later, then.

Cheep-cheep-cheep.

All right, quit messing with me.

I know you said something.

Ah, but it is you

that is messing with me.

Cheep-cheep-cheep.

That's what's messing with us.

It's a baby scallop.

I'll take care of this.

No, Patrick.

It's totally helpless.

It looks like he can't even fly yet.

Well, what's the matter?

Is he stupid?

No, Patrick, he's just a baby.

He's all alone with no one to take care of him.

Well, we can't just leave him out here.

You're right.

Come on, let's take him into the pineapple.

Let's see, we need a box for him to sleep in.

There you go.

It's the best seat in the house.

Let me see.

Hey, it's kind of cute.

Uh-oh!

I think somebody's hungry!

Is it true?

Are you hungry?

Cheep-cheep-cheep-cheep!

I've got just the thing.

How would you like a Krabby Patty?

SpongeBob SquarePants, are you crazy?

That's not the right food

for a little fellow like him.

Of course not.

I don't know what I was thinking.

He needs a tiny Krabby Patty.

Bleah!

Huh?

No one's ever turned down one of these down before.

Let's try a doughnut.

French fries?

Uh-uh.

A doughnut?

All we have left

is this apple.

Hello, sea creatures!

I bring you greetings from Apple World.

Of course.

Scallops love worms.

Huh? Wait!

We will bury you!

Well, you should be good for the rest...

What now?

I don't know!

Aw, don't cry!

Do something, SpongeBob!

Uh... uh... uh...

Blah-blah-blah, look at the funny face!

Doo, doo-doo, doo-doo, look at the funny face!

Look at the funny face.

Wait!

I think I might know the problem.

Yep, that's it all right.

Hold on just one second.

Here he is, good as new.

How did you know?

How do you think?

And I been doing it all by myself

for almost a year.

Wow, I'm sure glad you're here.

I know, good thing there's two of us.

You know, Patrick, since this scallop doesn't have parents,

we should raise it ourselves.

Yeah, at least till it's old enough

to be on its own.

Oh, I want to be the mom!

I don't think you can be the mom because you never wear a shirt.

You're right.

If I was a mom, this would be kind of shocking.

Just call me "Daddy"!

It sure is cute when it's asleep.

Yeah.

Shh!

Hey, SpongeBob.

Yes, Patrick?

I never thought being a parent could be this much fun.

Me neither.

Well, good night, SpongeBob.

Good night, Patrick.

Patrick, breakfast is ready!

All right!

All this parenting stuff makes me hungry.

Hey, Junior, how you doing today?

SpongeBob?

Yes, Patrick?

Kid's got a stinky.

Could you change him?

My hands are full.

Ahh...

Wish I could, but I got to get going.

Going? Where are you going?

Going to work.

I'm the dad, remember?

You mean I have to do all this baby stuff myself?

I'll give you a break tonight when I get home.

Don't you two stop being adorable.

Okay.

Phew! What a day.

Oh, great, you're home.

Now you can help me with the baby.

Aw, gee, SpongeBob, I'd love to,

but I'm totally beat from work.

Huh?

That guy got hit in the head with a coconut!

Patrick, what about my break?

Oh, yeah, your break.

Uh, tomorrow, I promise.

Uh, okay, tomorrow.

Phew, another tough day.

Oh, Patrick, I'm so glad you're home after working all day.

I can't wait for my break.

Work was a killer.

I need my chair.

Patrick, I really need my...

Tomorrow for sure.

Patrick?

I'll get to it eventually...

Uh...?

Uh.

Patrick Star, we need to talk!

Just one more minute... I got to...

Don't "one more minute" me, Mr. Man!

Hey! I'm missing the coconut.

You haven't been helping at all with Junior!

We made a commitment

and you're not doing your share!

You never do anything.

I changed his diaper.

Yeah, once.

He's only this big.

How many diapers can he possibly use?

Hmm?

Oh, that's not so much.

Hmm?

So?

Hmm?

Hmm?

Hmm?

I had no idea!

What kind of father am I?

I'll make it up to you, buddy.

I promise.

So, what's the plan for today?

No more fooling around.

From now on, I'm Superdad!

I'll work straight through lunch so I can get home on time.

So make sure you save a big old stinky diaper

for me to change.

And you could take the night off, pal.

Great, so I'll see you at 6:00.

6:00.

6:00.

6:00.

6:00.

6:00.

6:00.

6:00.

Boy, that was some party!

Oh, hey, SpongeBob.

Hey, Junior.

What?

What?!

Oh, nothing.

Oh, what a relief.

For a second, I thought you were mad at me.

Do you remember what you said to me this morning?

Something about root beer, right?

No.

Wait, wait.

Let me guess.

I give up.

Does "You could take the night off, pal"

ring a bell?

Pfft... I don't need this!

What?!

Where do you think you're going?

I'm going back to work.

Work?!

He got hit in the head with two coconuts!

So... this is work?

You know, it's not as easy as it looks.

Sometimes I got to move the antenna,

sometimes I lose the remote,

and sometimes my butt itches real bad!

Oh, you poor, poor thing.

By the way, you forgot your briefcase.

Oh, so this is the thanks I get for working overtime?

Overtime?!

There's that stupid noise again!

Oh, that's not a stupid noise.

That's just Junior about to jump out that window.

Oh.

Junior!

Here, darling!

Here we come, buddy!

Come to Daddy, right in the old pocket.

Uh-oh!

Did you catch him?

No.

We're bad parents.

Cheep-cheep-cheep.

Cheep-cheep-cheep-cheep-cheep.

Junior?

He's flying.

I guess he's all grown up.

Hey, what about Daddy?

That's my boy.

Good-bye.

Good-bye, Junior.

Well, Patrick, he doesn't need us anymore.

This is the hardest part of every parent's life...

I assume.

Despite all we've been through, it was worth it.

Yeah.

Let's have another.

And NICKELODEON

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org