Original subtitles

Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

♪ Ooh!

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

♪ Spongebob Squarepants! ♪

♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪

♪ Spongebob Squarepants! ♪

♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪

♪ Spongebob Squarepants! ♪

♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪

♪ Spongebob Squarepants!♪Ready?

♪ Spongebob Squarepants!

♪ Spongebob Squarepants!

♪ Spongebob Squarepants!

♪ Spongebob Squarepants!

[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

[and NICKELODEON]

Oh!

Pardon me, young lady.

What a fox.

Ooh!

You're all mine, you sweet Krabby Patty.

Ooh, whoo!

Initiating launch sequence.

Krabby Patty, here I come!

Eh, I hope I don't miss again.

Reunited, and it's going to feel so good!

Oh, ho, ho, sweet wampum.

Huh?! What's that?!

Squidward, where are you?!

Shield me with your forehead!

So...

it was just another failed Krabby Patty theft attempt

by my arch-competitor, Plankton.

For a second there, I mistook you for a threat

but you're just a dirty, little man.

So long, shrimp!

Curse you, Mr. Krabs!

Ouch!

So, typical day of failure, I see, huh, darling?

Oh, can it, computer wife.

Can't you see I'm exhausted?

Why don't you go make yourself useful

and synthesize me up some grub?

Yes, Your Majesty.

What do we got here?

Oh, goodie!

Holographic meatloaf again.

When am I going to get some realfood?

Mr. Krabs gets to eat real food.

Just look at his daughter.

She's as big as a whale.

I wish I could be successful like Mr. Krabs.

I wish I could somehow just switch lives with him

just to know what it's like.

Then why don't you just use

that Switch-Lives-Just-to-Know- What-It's-Like-O-Macrofier thing

you built last Tuesday?

What a brilliant idea!

Your parents must have been, like

part computer or something.

Ah...

Now, let's see here.

No.

No.

No.

Aha!

Well, I hate to leave you, Karen

but you know what they say:

"a rolling stone gathers no algae."

Ah!

Oh, dear Neptune above!

What happened last night?

Huh?

What's this?

"Mr.Plankton"?

Who the davey...?

Huh? I'm in the Krusty Krab.

And that means the life switcher

was a success!

The Krusty Krab is mine!

Corporate casual.

Order up!

Two deluxe Krabby Patties.

At last!

There you are, sir.

Two deluxe...

Ahoy, there, Mr. Plankton.

Er, uh, hey, there, uh, Spongebob.

Uh, Spongebob...

Yes, sir?

I'm going to need to take one of these patties

back to my office for, uh... bun inspection.

I'm afraid you can't do that

Mr. Plankton.

But why not?

Because that patty is for the customer, sir.

The customer?

I'll boil the customer in hot oil

and I'll rip out his...!

I mean, yes, of course, for the lovely customer.

But you can take these patties, sir.

I made them on the off chance

you decided to instigate

some bun inspection today, Mr. Plankton, sir.

Uh, yes. Uh, very nice.

Um, thanks.

All mine!

It's finally all mine!

The patties...

the wealth...

the notoriety...

the... Spongebob?

What do you want?

Well, it's just that it's Tuesday again, sir

and I was wondering if I could have my...

uh... my, uh...

weekly performance review.

Review?

Oh, yes, please, sir, please!

But I've never reviewed anything...

except for those foreign exercise videos

my cousin sent me.

Oh, please, sir!

I want to make you so happy and proud!

Ah, you're doing fine.

Now leave me to my work.

Mmm...

But sir...

I thought I sent you away, Cretan!

But sir, there's got to be something I need to improve on.

Anything!

All right, the sauce.

Wh... what?

The sauce, I don't know.

You're using too much sauce, okay?

Review's over.

What?

What's the matter with you?

All I said was a little too much sauce.

It's no big deal, really.

What do you want from me, a promotion?

A pro... a promot... a promotion?!

Uh, sure, kid, you're, uh...

you're on register now.

Register?

Glad that's over.

Spongebob, do you remember that little talk we had

about personal space?

It's okay, Squidward, I'm official. Look!

Co-cashier?!

So, have you two known each other long?

You can't do this to me, Mr. Plankton!

If you think I'm going to stand out there all day

listening to...

then you must have coral wedged in your frontal lobe!

So what do you want me to do about it?

I'd like my view to be a little less yellow

if you know what I mean.

Hope you like gray.

Hey, Squidward, I can see you through this little window.

Now, no more intrusions.

I'd like to begin writing the memoirs of my success story.

So everyone just stay the...

Daddy!

Daddy! Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!

Just tell Daddy what you want!

Daddy!

He's very busy!

Could I please have a, um... an advance on my allowance?

If it'll get you out of my antennae.

Go crazy.

One dollar!

You hateme!

Ow!

You!

Me?

You think this is funny?

In a cosmic sort of way, yes.

Well, Mr. Funny Man

is this how you get your sick kicks?!

What? It's just an ordinary Krabby...

Oh, my goodness!

Squidward!

I tried, Mr. Plankton.

I really did.

Oh, what now?

A customer ordered a medium soda

and I gave him a large.

I gave him a large!

I've soiled the good Krusty Krab name!

Soiled it! Soiled it...!

I command you to stop that.

Stop that, and return to your post!

Soiled it! Soiled it...!

Where's the off button on this thing?

Okay, Daddy, I've decided I'm going to run away.

Run away and find a newdaddy!

Make it stop!

What, did I say the secret word?

No, sir.

He's back.

Who's back? What?

What was that?!

Man your stations! Red alert! Red alert!

Take cover!

Take cover from what?!

He's around here somewhere.

There he goes!

What? Who? Where?

Somebody tell me!

Some say he crawled out

from the lowest trench in the ocean.

He's the saltiest of all of the sea dogs.

He's the most hated creature in Bikini Bottom.

And he's finally got a Krabby Patty!

Krabs?! What the barnacle is going on here?!

It's your arch-competitor... Krabs!

His goal in life is to steal a Krabby Patty

and ruin our restaurant.

That's terrible!

Yeah! But the worst part of it is...

Good grief, he's naked!

Clothe me if you can, silly landlubbers!

I'm going to make you eat those words, Krabs!

No shirt, no shoes... no service!

Huh?!

Ah, you got me!

Well, at least it's underwire.

Here's your stinking patty!

I don't understand.

Is there a gas leak in here?

Knick-knack, the patty's back.

You did it, Mr. Plankton.

Victory screech!

Enjoy your victory screech, Plankton

because someday the Krabby Patty formula will be mine!

You'll never get this formula

you twisted fiend!

Oh, but I will!

Even if I have to come back tomorrow

and the next day and the next day

and the next day

and the next day and the next day

and the next day and the next day

and the next day next day

and the next day and the next day

and the next day...

Phone call, Mr. Plankton.

The next day, and the next day

and the next day and the next day...

It's not worth it!

It's just not worth it!

Good-bye, everyone.

I'll remember you all in therapy.

Holographic meatloaf...

my favorite!

Ah! Goo Lagoon...

where the sun is hot

and the sunbathers

are oh, so cool.

What a beautiful day.

You said it, pal.

Can you believe that sun?

I could look at it all day.

Uh, Patrick?

What?

Nothing.

So, how's that tan coming?

I don't know.

Let me check.

Looking good.

How's yours?

Just a minute.

I could have sworn I was laying on my back.

Larry! Larry!

Larry! Larry!

Hey, it's Larry, the lifeguard.

Mr. Lifeguard, can I feel your muscle?

Sure. Don't scratch the paint.

Lifeguard, how's the tubage?

Gnarly, dudes.

All right, yeah! Whoo-hoo!

Lifeguard, can you point out the snack bar?

Right over there.

But you guys are way too old

and unsightly for my beach.

And I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

So polite.

Just like we raised him.

What a guy.

Is it any wonder he's so popular?

Just imagine if Iwere a lifeguard.

That would be so cool.

Oh, what do you want to be a lifeguard for?

Nobody really likes those guys.

For he's a jolly, good fellow...

Being a lifeguard is so dumb.

All they do is blow, blow, blow on their stupid whistles

rub, rub, rub that white stuff on their noses

and show off their gross

misshapen bodies.

Dude, put that thing away.

There are, like, children here.

I'm going to the snack bar.

Who needs to be a lifeguard?

I'm cool.

I'm every bit as cool as Larry.

And if I'm not, let me be struck by...

A flying ice cream truck...

and live!

Please, do not land

flying ice cream trucks on the bathers.

Oh...

Spongebob, you okay?

Hey!

I didn't know you were a lifeguard.

Lifeguard?

The nose.

White stuff.

You think I'm a lifeguard?

Sure, there's no hiding the lifeguard look, Spongebob

and you've got it.

You really think so?

You bet, I do.

Say, we're a little shorthanded around here.

How would you like to work the beach?

I'd love it!

All right.

Leave that on the bench, Kahuna.

Hey, Annette, come here.

I want you to meet my buddy, Spongebob.

Hi.

Hey, guy's a lifeguard.

It works.

Whoo-hoo!

That was the greatest, Larry.

Yeah.

Say, how'd you like to take the second shift?

By myself?

Only if you think you're ready.

I'm not just ready.

I'm Ready Freddie.

It's Larry.

Well, I guess I'll just...

Help! Help!

Help!

Help! help!

We've got a sinker.

Spongebob, let me take this.

I haven't seen any action all day.

Action?

Please, help. Please, help.

Breathe, darn you!

That's the last time I read and swim.

You saved my life.

Don't mention it. It's all part of the job.

You know, Spongebob, the babes

and the big chair are great

but the best part is knowing you're the only thing

that stands between these good people...

Go, go, go, go, go...

and a watery grave.

And that's what it's all about.

Their lives are in your hands now

'cause I got a date with a tanning booth.

See you.

But I...

can't swim.

Oh, if I'd known being a lifeguard meant

guarding their lives, I would never have said yes.

Maybe nothing will go wrong.

Then when Larry comes back

I'll tell him I'm not interested.

Besides, what's the worst that could happen?

Emergency! Everybody out of the water.

Hurry! Emergency! Out of the water.

Emergency!

What's going on, lifeguard?

What's the big emergency?

Uh... there are sharks in there.

Hey, that's my family you're talking about.

A... sea monster!

You know, we sea monsters have made great strides

in the fields of science and literature.

Uh... somebody went?

It's a big lagoon, dude.

Disgusting!

No, don't go!

Free ice cream!

Plenty for everybody.

One for you, one for you...

Okay, everybody got one?

Mmm, yeah!

Mmm...

Aha, now I got you.

Now, you all have to wait one hour before you go swimming.

But just so you're not tempted.

Ladies and gentlemen

the lagoon is closed.

We like Larry better.

Does Larry ever give you free ice cream?

Ice cream!

Did somebody say, "ice cream?"

Where is it?

Is it here?

Huh?

Ice cream! Yay!

Cramp!

Oh!

Holy cow!

Somebody's drowning!

Oh, no, that's not possible.

The lagoon is closed.

Dude, get your butt in the water.

If there was anyone in there, we'd hear them.

Help, help!

I can't swim!

Somebody would be screaming that they're drowning...

I'm drowning! I'm drowning!

They would have to have crossed the line.

I'm drowning 'cause I crossed the line.

Okay, I'll take a look...

but just to prove to you that... Patrick isn't drowning!

Can't swim!

Butt hurts.

Ice cream.

Hold on, Patrick.

I'm coming.

Help, help!

Don't move.

Catch this.

Quit fooling around, man. Get in the water.

Help, help!

Oh, what am I going to do? Got to think.

Got to think. Got to run around and think.

Got to run around and think at the same time.

Got to think, got to have a plan.

Got to think, think, think. I've got it!

Patrick can't drown if there isn't any water.

Well, you're safe now, Patrick.

Help, I'm drowning, I've got butt cramps

I want ice cream and now it's dark.

Help, help! Help me, I'm drowning.

Help.

To us.

Oh!

Sorry. Here's your hot dog.

Okay, Patrick, here I come.

Oh.

Come, come 'round Pat.

Here I am.

Pat, Pat, no. Uncle, hold it, Pat, Pat, stop.

No, Pat, stop.

Stop, stop!

Oh. Sorry.

Help! Help!

Save me, can't swim.

Patrick, don't.

Help.

Help, help, help...

Help!

Help us. We're drowning!

I wonder what's showing

at the movie theater right about now.

Good-bye, Patrick.

Good-bye, ice cream.

Help, can't swim. Help, can't swim.

Oh, no. Oh, no.

Spongebob?

Yes, Larry?

You're not a lifeguard, are you?

No, Larry.

Let's go, guys.

Very good.

You fellows are learning fast.

Ow!

Butt cramps! Butt cramps!

And I still don't have my ice cream.

And NICKELODEON

[Captioned by The Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation]