Original subtitles

?Are ya ready, kids-

!KIDS: Aye, aye, captain

.I can't hear you-

!KIDS: Aye, aye, captain

!Ohhhh-

SINGING) Who lives in a) ?pineapple under the sea

!KIDS: SpongeBob SquarePants

PAINTY: Absorbent and .yellow and porous is he

!KIDS: SpongeBob SquarePants

PAINTY: If nautical nonsense --be something you wish

!KIDS: SpongeBob SquarePants

PAINTY: --then drop on the !deck and flop like a fish

!KIDS: SpongeBob SquarePants

?PAINTY: Ready

!ALL: SpongeBob SquarePants

!SpongeBob SquarePants

!SpongeBob SquarePants

!PAINTY: SpongeBob SquarePants

[LAUGHING HEARTILY]

[PICCOLO PLAYS]

[SEA SHANTY MUSIC]

[MR. KRABS: [SIGHS

Well, it's the worst time .of the day once again

[CHOKES UP]

.Closing time

Well, see you in- .the AM, Mr. Krabs

.Hold on there, SpongeBob-

Take that pile of .filth out with ya

[GASPS]-

.Mr. Krabs

You shouldn't talk about .Squidward like that

.He means this filth, you loon-

(CASUALLY SINGING)- .Taking out the trash

.Taking out the trash

.Hm

Dumpster writing-- the .voice of the people

.Up with bubbles"

".Down with air

[LAUGHS]

".Nematodes are people too"

.Haw, those nematodes

Here's one somebody .didn't finish

".Squidward smells." "Good"

[LAUGHS]

?Hm, what's this one

?Krabs is a--" Hm"

".[Krabs is a [CHIRP"

Do you kiss your- ?mother with that mouth

,Well, sometimes- .but not recently

!PATRICK: Hi, garbage man

!Hi, SpongeBob

.Hi, Patrick-

Hey, Patrick, do you know ?what this word means

".READING SLOWLY) "Krabs)-

Uh, isn't that the red ?sweaty guy you work for

.Nuh-uh, not that word-

.That word

.[CHIRP]-

.Hey, I think I know what means

That's one of those .sentence enhancers

?Sentence enhancers-

You use them when you- .want to talk fancy

You just sprinkle it over !anything you say, and whamo

You got yourself a .spicy sentence sandwich

.Oh, I get it-

.Let me try

.Ahem

.POSH VOICE) Hello, Patrick)

Lovely [CHIRP] day ?we're having, isn't it

.Why, yes, it is, SpongeBob-

This [CHIRP] day is .particularly [CHIRP] lovely

How [CHIRP] right- .you are, Patrick

.[CHIRP]-

.[CHIRP]-

.[CHIRP]-

.Ooh, you're right, Patrick-

My lips are tingling from the .spiciness of this conversation

[GIGGLING]-

.Yeah, mine too

[SPUTTERING AND GIGGLING]

[LAUGHING]-

.It tingles when I laugh

[WHISTLING]

.Hello, customers

Nice [CHIRP] day ?we're having, huh

[GASPS]-

?--Did he just say

.Ay, he did-

.Hey, Patrick-

?How the [CHIRP] are ya

.Pretty [CHIRP] good, SpongeBob-

Well, I thought this- ,was a restaurant

.not a gutter-mouth convention

[MIC FEEDBACK]

.Attention, customers-

Today's special is a CHIRP] Krabby Patty]

served in a greasy CHIRP] sauce and grilled]

.to [CHIRP] perfection

And don't forget to ask us .to [CHIRP] the [CHIRP] fries

.It'll be our [CHIRP] pleasure

.Hi, Squidward

?How the [CHIRP] are ya

,Nice [CHIRP] day- ?isn't it, Squidward

.I don't understand-

.That guy's talented

.He doesn't have to work blue

Let's go somewhere- .more family-oriented

[COMPLAINING VOICES]

[KLAXON SIREN]

?Huh-

[GASPS]

!The Krusty Krab

!She's empty

!All hands on deck

!Batten the front doors

!Brace the cash register

!Break out the happy snacks

Squidward, we have all me beautiful

?paying customers gone

Apparently the two- barnacled-mouth brothers

.just learned a new word

And SpongeBob just said .it over the intercom

?Well, what was it-

?What did he say

--Uh, he said, um, well, said-

[WHISPERS]

?Huh-

[WHISPERS]

[GASPS]-

,SpongeBob and friend !front and centre

Why, I ought to make the two of ya

paint the Krusty Krab !for using such language

But Mr. Krabs, we were only- .using our sentence enhancers

.Yeah, it's fancy talk-

There ain't nothing- .fancy about that word

?[You mean [CHIRP-

.Yes, that one-

.Now, quit sayin' that

.It's a bad word

?BOTH: Bad word

[BOTH BLATHERING]

.Yes sirree-

.That's bad word number 11

In fact, there are 13 bad .words you should never use

Don't you mean- ?there are only seven

.Not if you're a sailor

[CHUCKLES]

.Wow, 13-

That's a lot of- .CHIRP] bad words]

.OK, boys-

I want you to promise me you'll .never use that word again

.BOTH: We promise

SPONGEBOB: Gee, I sure am glad Mr. Krabs told us

that word we were .using was a bad word

Yeah, me too, because- classy sophisticates

like us should not stain .our lips with cursing

.Yea verily-

Now, let's play a nice wholesome .game of Eels and Escalators

!Oh, boy, my favourite-

.Come on-

.Gary needs a new pair of shoes

.Ooh, eels-

.Too bad, SpongeBob

.You got to ride the eel

.Darn-

!My turn-

!Hurray

!Escalators

[LAUGHS TRIUMPHANTLY]

!Up, up, up

.Come on-

,Escalators .escalators, escalators

[SIGHS]

.Eels again

.My turn-

!Escalators

,Escalators- .escalators, escalators

?Eels

!Es-kee-lators-

Well, this is your .last chance, SpongeBob

Oh, if you get eels .again, you lose

.FRUSTRATED) Ooh)-

,Escalators !escalators, escalators

!Ha

!Escalators

.PATRICK: Eels

![Dah, [CHIRP-

.Ohhh-

.You said number 11

I, I, I didn't mean-- you- .got to understand, Patrick

I was try-- oh, what --I meant to say

.some things just slip about

.You got to understand

.Don't worry, SpongeBob-

.I understand

!Mr. Krabs

!Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs

!No, wait, Patrick-

!Patrick, no

!Please don't tell

.[But you said [CHIRP-

!Aha-

Now I'm going to tell !Mr. Krabs on you

.Not if I tell first-

.I can run faster than you-

[LAUGHS]

[ICE CREAM TRUCK MUSIC]

.See you at the Krusty Krab-

[LAUGHS]

!Oh, no

[LAUGHS]-

!Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs

?What, what, what-

!Patrick, Patrick, Patrick-

?Yes, yes, yes-

--He said, he said, he said-

.Out with it, boy-

Me and Patrick were playing- Eels and Escalators and he was

going up, up, up, and .I had to ride the eel

And then we run, and .Patrick-- he said some things

?What kind of things-

--Well, he said-

?Yes-

Well, um, let's just say- he said a certain word

.that you said he shouldn't say

And this particular word happens to be word number 11

in a list of 13 words that .you said shouldn't be said

.Uh, right-

--What was that part about that ?what, what-- the, uh, who now

.Mr. Krabs, Mr- !Krabs, Mr. Krabs

[SIGHS]-

!BOTH: He said that word

--Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da

Now I'm gonna let- .go of your lips

And when I do, I want to calmly tell me

what youse need to ?tell me, understand

.BOTH: Mhm

.[He said [CHIRP

[GASPS]-

?Do my ears deceive me

.You two should be ashamed

.Time to take out the trash

You two need to be .taught a lesson

.I thought I made it clear

Never, and I mean never, use number 11

.or any of the 13 bad words

Now, the both of .youse wait right here

.I'll be back

?What's gonna happen to us-

.We'll probably get 40 lashes-

.SCARED) Oh, no)-

.I'm sorry, Patrick-

.Mr. Krabs is right

There's no need for .words like that

.I'm sorry too, SpongeBob-

.Let's make a vow, Patrick-

From this day forth, a foul .word shall never pass our lips

,We will be good citizens .just like good old Mr. Krabs

.Agreed-

,MR. KRABS: All right .you two foul mouths

As punishment for fouling the air in me restaurant

with your fowl words, you're gonna give The Krusty Krab

a fresh coat of paint .from top to bottom

[CRIES IN PAIN]

.Oh, my [CHIRP] foot

What [CHIRP] genius put a ?CHIRP] rock in a [CHIRP] path]

Can't you see I've got ?a [BEEP] foot here

![Oh, [ARF

![Aw, [TOOT TOOT

.Five, six, seven-

MR. KRABS: And a lotta HORN] with a side]

of [CHIRP] and a heaping helpin' of [CLANK] and a boatload of

![HORN]

.Nine-

[Oh, [ARF ARF SQUAWK- .[grabbin' [HORN

[WAILING]

.That's all 13, Patrick-

[GASPS]

We're gonna tell !your mum, Mr. Krabs

.No, please-

.Not my mommy

!Wait

!Please don't tell me mother

I don't think her little .old heart can take it

[BOTH PANTING]

!BOTH: Mama Krabs

!Mama Krabs

.Well, hello there-

,SPONGEBOB: Mama Krabs ,[he said [CHIRP

.[and then he said [CHIRP

[And then he said [CHIRP .[again, and he said [ARF ARF

And then he screamed at the .[top of his voice, [HORN

.And he [BEEP BEEP], Mrs. Krabs

.He didn't care

Such a stream of [SQUAWK HORN CLANK]

.I have never heard in my days

.Oh, dear-

.My poor, old heart

[GASPS]-

.Oh, dear Mother

What have these foul-mouthed ?heathens done to do ya

You two should be ashamed, making

an old lady faint .with your sailor talk

.You should all be ashamed-

And if you're going ,to talk like sailors

then you're going to .work like sailors

I guess you scallywags have .earned a glass of lemonade

[POPEYE-LIKE LAUGH]

!Yow

!My [HONK] foot

[ALL GASP]

!Mother-

?What-

It's Old Man Jenkins .in his jalopy

[HONK]

!Howdy, Mrs. K-

[HONK HONK HONK]

[LAUGHTER]

[QUIRKY UKULELE MUSIC]

Oh, how I have- .dreamed of this day

.Mr. Tentacles, professor of art

What a marvellous opportunity for the people

.of Bikini Bottom

Bring me your huddled ,masses of bored housewives

and I will shape .them in my image

.I'll go down in history

Someday, there will be a wing with my name on it

!in all the museums of the world

Dude, you're teaching .art at the rec centre

.Calm down

.Uncultured trash urchin-

[GASPS]

.9:00 AM

.Time to let the class in

Well, don't want to keep .them waiting any longer

[EXCITED CHATTER]

!Welcome to art class

?Oh, isn't this cooking-

.Sorry

[DISMAYED MURMURS]

!Hi, Squidward-

Are you taking ?this art class too

?SpongeBob-

?In art class

!Wait

!This is cooking

!Come back

.You got to be kidding

[SPONGEBOB: [LAUGHS

!This is great

.You and me in school together

?So where's the teacher

.You're looking at him-

You are the- ?teacher to my pupil

.This isn't art class

.It's heaven

.Yeah-

,Grab a little piece of heaven .and let's get on with it

.I'm ready, Mr. Tentacles-

So you want to be an- ?artist, eh, SpongeBob

.Yes, please-

Well, art is not- .all fun and games

.It's a lot of hard work

.OK, first repeat after me

".I have no talent"

.I have no talent-

Mr. Tentacles has"- ".all the talent

Mr. Tentacles has- .all the talent

If I'm lucky, some of"- Mr. Tentacles' talent

".may rub off on me

If I'm lucky, Mr. Talent will- .rub his tentacles on my art

.Whatever-

.OK

Since you're telling me ,you have no prior training

we'll have to start .from square one

.Or should I say circle one

[CHORTLES]

Am I going too fast ?for you, SpongeBob

?How's this, Squidward-

--What the-- how the- ?a perfect circle

.Do it again

.Show your process

.Well, first I draw this head-

Then I erase some of the .more detailed features

,And one, two, three .a circle, uh, thingy

!Gimme that-

.Forget the circles

.Ooh, nice one, Squidward-

.Let me try

[LAUGHS]

.Lookie, Squidward

It's you and me .playing leapfrog

.That's you on the bottom

!Give me that-

There is nothing .artistic about leapfrog

?What are you doing now

!I call it rippy bits-

You take a bunch of ,old ripped-up paper

and you make a new .picture out of it

?See

.You're on top this time

Do you want to- ?learn art or not

.I'm sorry, Squidward-

.I'll listen

.All right, SpongeBob-

.Pay close attention

.Look at your marble

.Visualise the sculpture within

--Then gently

[TAP]

[TAP]

?How's this, Squidward-

.It's beautiful-

--Duh, I mean, um

.This isn't a sculpture

A good sculpture .takes more time

You can't just .sculpt willy-nilly

.You got to go by the book

.Follow the rules

Otherwise, you'll never .get past amateur hour here

.Besides, you got the nose wrong

.There

.Now it's art

.Oh, it's so obvious-

I would have never .thought of that

.I'm sorry, Squidward

,I came here to learn and I arrogantly

.shunned your lessons

I'll never be a great .artist like you

.I don't deserve your tutoring

I don't deserve to .be in your presence

I don't even deserve .to use your door

.'Ello, there-

[GRUNTS]-

.But I did deserve that

!Ow

!I deserved that too

!And I deserve this

.Good day, sir-

.Sorry-

.Class is dismissed

.You're too late

.Oh, I beg your pardon-

.But I've forgotten my manners

.My name is Monty P. Moneybags

?The world-famous art collector-

.The one and only-

?Well, what are you doing here-

,I'm on a shopping spree- .buying art for my new museum

.Your search is over-

I am Bikini Bottom's .greatest artiste

I call this one ".Squidward en Repose"

.Oh, yeah-

I don't think that will fit in with the other pieces

.in my collection

?Why not-

.Because it's an art collection-

!Ha ha ha ha

?How about this one-

".I call it "Bold and Brash

More like "Belongs- ".in the Trash

!Ha ha ha ha

.Sorry-

.I must've missed that one

[WHISTLING]

[SIGHS]-

?Maybe I should be-- huh

!?What is that

,Wait, wait, that- --that's not, uh

[STAMMERING]

.Angelic form-

.Amazing detail

.Perfect censorship

This is the work !of a true genius

?'Ello, what's this

.This is the only flaw

.Ah, that's more like it

I simply must find the !artist responsible

.He shall have fame

.Fame-

.MONTY: Fortune

.Fortune-

MONTY: Anything .his heart desires

?Anything-

!It's me

!It's me

!I'm responsible

I can see now-- your- name in the world's

.most prestigious museums

!I am gonna make you immortal

Now, uh, help me .get this in the car

STRAINING) I, I could)- .use a little help

[GRUNTS]

!My fame

!My fortune

!My hear

Well, that's a bit of- .bad luck right there

But this shouldn't be a problem for an artist

.of your magnitude

.You can whip up another one

,NERVOUSLY) Yeah)- .heh-heh, no problem

You know, between you and .me, this isn't my best work

Why don't you come ,back tomorrow

and I'll have something that will

?really knock your socks off

,Between you and me- .I'm not wearing socks

[BOISTEROUS LAUGH]

[NERVOUS LAUGH]-

.Yeah, no socks

.That's, that's-- OK

.See you tomorrow

.Bye

!I gotta find SpongeBob

!SpongeBob

!SpongeBob

!SpongeBob

.Go away, Squidward-

.I don't deserve your kindness

.Hey, cheer up-

I have decided to give .you another chance

Why, with a great teacher .like me, anything is possible

.Don't look at me, Squidward-

.Don't look at my shame

These hands weren't .meant to create

!They only destroy

.I can't look at them

.Aw, come on, SpongeBob-

You've got yourself a pair .of yellow dandies here

And with my help, we'll turn .them into tools of beauty

?Really-

.Really-

?Really-

.Really-

?Really-

.STERNLY) Really)-

.Wow-

?Really

.Let's go-

.Squidward, look-

.It's old Bold and Brash

.Give me that-

[GRUNTS]

.OK, SpongeBob

.Just do what you did before

.I can't-

.Ah, ah, wait, wait

.Let me help

Let's start with .the circle again

!I did it, Squidward-

?Huh-

But, but what about the head ,and, and the erasing and

--and the

.I don't know, Squidward-

.That stuff's not in the book

.Uh-

[GRUNTS]

?How about this, huh

?Remember

.That's not in the book either-

!Forget about the book-

[GRUNTING AND TEARING]

Ha, look at all this .mess, SpongeBob

What do all these little bits ?of paper make you wanna do

.Wait, I know this-

.Oh wait, I think I got it

.Uh-huh

[JABBERS]

.There you go

.Yes

!Tada

OK, SpongeBob, let's just- .move on to the marble

First, an artist- must concentrate

.and visualise his concept

.Now you've got it-

.I got embrace the marble-

!Right-

.I got to sniff the marble-

.Well, uh, OK-

.I got to lick the marble-

.Uh-

.I got to wash the marble-

.I got to date the marble

!I got to be the marble

!I've got it

I have seen the .sculpture within

.Here you go, buddy-

With this tool, I- !shall give birth to art

.Oh, boy-

[TAP]

.With one more thing-

.There

.Now it's art

Well, what do you ?think, Squidward

Just take it all .in for a moment

.Let it soak in

[PIERCING SCREAM]-

[CRAZED SOUNDS]

It looks like the excitement- of my artistic triumph

.is too much for Squidward

.Oh well, back to the dump

TUNE OF "WILLIAM TELL) ,OVERTURE") To the dump

to the dump, to the .dump, dump, dump

,To the dump, to the dump .to the dump, dump, dump

[SQUIDWARD: [CRAZED SOUNDS

[PANTING]

?I'm here for the-- what the-

?Who's responsible for this

As of now, it's- .his responsibility

!Good day to you, sir

[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC]

You, sir, are the greatest- !artist who ever lived

[UKULELE MUSIC]