Original subtitles

?Are you ready, kids-

.KIDS: Aye, aye, Captain

.I can't hear you-

.KIDS: Aye, aye, Captain

Oh, [SINGING] who lives in- ?a pineapple under the sea

.KIDS: Spongebob Squarepants

CAPTAIN: [SINGING] Absorbent .and yellow and porous is he

.KIDS: Spongebob Squarepants

CAPTAIN: [SINGING] If nautical .nonsense be something you wish

.KIDS: Spongebob Squarepants

CAPTAIN: [SINGING] Then drop on .the deck and flop like a fish

.KIDS: Spongebob Squarepants

?CAPTAIN: [SINGING] Ready

.Spongebob Squarepants

.Spongebob Squarepants

.Spongebob Squarepants

.Spongebob Squarepants

!Ha

!Ha

!Ha

!Ha

!Ha

!Ha

!Ha

[WAVE SOUNDS]

[SEAGULLS]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[BUBBLE SOUNDS]

?Patrick-

?Patrick

?Oh, Patrick

Are you ready to ?go jelly fishing

[MUSIC]

.Oh, boy, am I-

.Here's your net-

.Well, come on, Patrick

The jellyfish don't .catch them themselves

First I have to put- .away my secret box

?Secret box-

You never told me .about your secret box

.Hey, hands off peepin' Bob-

.This here is my secret box

Besides, if I showed ,you what was inside

.it wouldn't be a secret anymore

.Duh

Doh, Spongebob, if only you ,could see inside my secret box

.it would change your life

.It's OK, Patrick-

.I know all about secrets

?You do-

.I've got a gazillion secrets-

?Like what-

Well, it's no secret that- the best thing about a secret

is secretly telling someone your secret thereby secretly adding

another secret to their --secret collection of secrets

.secretly

You want to hear ?one of my secrets

?Do I-

.Uh, let's see-

Did you know you're ?my best friend

.No way-

.Let's hear another one

OK, uh, secretly I'm- .a little bit naive

!Wow-

I'll never look at you the .same way again, Spongebob

.Gosh

.Tell me some more secrets

.OK-

I love my job at .the Krusty Krab

.I sleep with my shoes on

I like jelly on both .sides of my toast

I've got an overdue .library book

I think jelly fishing and bubble blowing

are the-- I've never .been late for work

I've said the word .fancy in conversation

I like to dance to loading .zone announcements

I still don't have .my driver's licence

.I'm a little on the short side

And I'm wearing three pairs .of underwear right now

.Gasp-

.I never would have guessed

Now will you show me what's- ?inside your secret box

.No, Spongebob-

.It's for me to know

.And for you to never find out

You may be an open .book, Spongebob

But I'm a bit more .complicated than that

The inner machinations .of my mind are an enigma

[MUSIC]

?Oh, yeah-

Well, I got plenty .of secret stuff too

.Uh, I've got my secret socks on

.And my secret Gary's bowl

My secret TV and my .secret TV channel

[BEEP]

What do you think of ?that that, Patrick

?Patrick

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Maybe if you saw- ,what was inside

you'd know why it .has to be secret

Inside this very box is the most secrety

.secret in all of secretdom

.And I am its sole witness

.It's a heavy burden, Spongebob

But nobody must know .the mystery of the box

!Nobody

.Not even Squidward's house

.It's a full-time job

.I'm constantly on the alert

You never know when --someone's going to, oh

[BOING]

!Spongebob

?What do you think you're doing

.That's my secret box

.Now, hand it over

But Patrick, I must- .know the secret

,For the last time- .Spongebob, no

.Come on, just a peek-

!Never-

!Oh-

.So it's come to this-

And to think we joined the .best friends forever club

[MUSIC]

Listen up, Spongebob- ,secret stealer" Pants"

if you ever come near ,my secret box again

.we won't be friends anymore

But we are supposed- .to be friends forever

[MUSIC PLAYING]

.I feel so filthy-

I have soiled our .friendship garden

.I just couldn't help myself

.I know it's your secret

.I promise to respect that

Oh, please forgive .me, Patrick, please

Well, I guess it's- .not all your fault

After all, this is a .pretty great secret

I mean, how could you resist the greatest secret ever-- the most

amazing, mysterious, powerful ?secret in all of Bikini Bottom

?So what do you say, buddy-

?Friends

.Friends-

[BUBBLE SOUND]

What could be in that box that- ?Patrick doesn't want me to see

Maybe it's the world's .only albino jellyfish

Or maybe Patrick's a .master jewel thief

.And it's full of diamonds

Or maybe Patrick's a deranged maniac

who keeps his victim's .severed heads in a box

Or even worse, maybe it's an embarrassing snapshot

.of me from a Christmas party

[SCREAM]

I've got to find out .what's in that secret box

.I'm not going to rest till I do

.That's it

How do you look ?into a secret box

.Secretly, of course

I'll just take the box while Patrick's sleeping, look

inside, and before Patrick ,even has time to notice

.I'll slide it back

.Patrick won't know

And I'll have my .own little secret

?Good idea, eh, Gary

.Mmm, no-

?Oh, what do you know-

.You're a snail

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[SNORING]

.Cecil dressing-

[SNORING]

?Who is

.Oh, oh

[CRACKING SOUND]

.Secret

.I've got to be more quiet-

.I don't want wake Patrick up

[SLIDING SOUND]

[CRASH]

.Oh, oh

.SNORING] Doh]

.Oooh, da

.Mmm

!CRASH] Doh]

?Who's that

.Oh, eh, oh

!BREAKING GLASS] Hey]

?Lilla, hoozum

[SNORING]

[BOMB SOUND]

[BOOM]

.Mmm, water

[SNORING] [CRASH]

[MACHINE GUN SOUND]

[ELEPHANT SOUND]

[RACE CAR SOUND] [CRASH]

.SNORING] Good old secret box]

.Let's see what's inside

.Nighty night boxy

[SNORING] [BOING]

[CRASH]

[ANIMAL SOUNDS]

[CRASH] [BREAKING GLASS] [DIVE BOMB SOUND] [BOOM]

[SNORING]

Gee, Patrick sure- .is a heavy sleeper

!Oh-

?Who said that

?Who's there

.Uh-

.It's the clam burglar-

.And he's stealing my secret box

Hand over the goods .secret box bandit

And prepare for the most unpleasant

!pillow fight of your life

!Wait, wait, wait, Patrick-

!Stop

.It's me

.Spongebob

.Nice try, burglar-

.But Spongebob's my best friend

.And he'd never steal from me

.No, really, Patrick-

.Look

.Oh-

SINGING] It's the]-- ,best friends forever

.best friends forever, ring

!Our friendship ring-

.It is you

?SOBBING) How could you do this)

If it makes you- ,feel any better

.I haven't looked inside

.That's it Spongebob-

.You have crossed the line

As of right now, this !friendship is over

?Really-

Nah, you can look inside- .if you really want to

.OK-

Oh, this is one of the most .exciting moments of my life

.Well, here it goes

[MUSIC PLAYING]

?Huh

?Well-

?Didn't I tell ya

?Isn't it great

.It's just a string-

!A secret string-

.Boy, when you're right-

.You're right

That's some secret .box you got there

Yeah, thanks for .showing me that

.Well, good night, Patrick

.See you tomorrow

.Good night, Spongebob-

.I should have known-

It was just a piece .of string all along

.Wait till I tell Gary

LAUGHING] Good] thing you didn't pull

the secret string opening the secret compartment

.of my secret box

Really, what an embarrassing snapshot

of Spongebob at that .Christmas party

LAUGHS] Merry] !Christmas, Spongebob

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[BUBBLE SOUNDS]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[DOORBELL]

Yeah, uh, we're with the- .pet hospital down the street

And I understand you have a .dying animal on the premises

[PHONE RINGING]

?Hello-

You've reached the house .of unrecognised talent

--Please start after the

[HORN SOUND]

Sounds as though- you've got a dying

animal to attend ?to, eh, old chum

Squilliam Fancyson- ?from band class

I hear you're playing- --the cash register now

.Sometimes-

?Uh, how's the unibrow

.It's big and valuable-

I'm the leader of a .big, fancy band now

And we're supposed to play .the Bubble Bowl next week

?The Bubba Bowl , the Bubba-

?The Bubba

.That's right-

I'm living your .dream, Squidward

The problem is I'm busy .next week and can't make it

So I was hoping you and your .band could cover for us

--Oh, I-- I-- I-- I, uh-

.I knew it-

.You don't even have a band

Well, I'll just let you get back .to the service industry now

!Hold it-

It just so happens that .I don't sell fast food

.I do have a band

And we're gonna play .that Bubble Bowl

?How do you like that, fancy boy

.Good luck next Tuesday-

I hope the audience .brings lots of ibuprofen

I've got to drum up- .a marching band fast

.Drum, ha, ha, band humour

Looking to add fulfilment"- ".to your dull, dull life

Then become part of"- the greatest musical

sensation ever to ".hit Bikini Bottom

And be forever"- adored by thousands

".of people you don't know

Not to mention"- ".free refreshments

Practise begins"- ".tonight-- 8:30 sharp

Stupid music rental- .clerk made me late

That trilobite didn't know .an oboe from an elbow

,Hmm, elbow, hmm .more band humour

[CROWD CHATTER]

.Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah-

.People, people, settle down-

OK now, how many of you have played

?musical instruments before

Do instruments- ?of torture count

.No-

?Is mayonnaise an instrument-

No, Patrick, mayonnaise- .is not an instrument

Horseradish is not .an instrument either

.That's fine

.No one has any experience

Fortunately, I have enough --talent for all of you

.ha, ha-- all of you

.Yeah

?When do we get the free food-

.OK, try to to repeat after me-

[CLARINET SOUND] .Brass section-- go

[HORNS PLAYING]

.Now the wind

[HORNS PLAYING]

And the drums

[SPLAT]

[RICHOCHET]

SARCASTIC) Too bad) .that didn't kill me

Let's just try .stepping in rhythm

Now, I want everyone to stand .in straight rows of five

Is this the part- ?where we start kicking

No, Spongebob, that's- ".A Chorus Line"

?Kicking-

.Oh, I want to do some kicking

!Oh

--Why you-

[FIGHTING SOUNDS]

!Oh-

!Ho, ho ho

Whoever is the owner ,of the white sedan

.you left your lights on

[HORN PLAYING]

.ANNOUNCER: Day two

[WHISTLE]

.OK, that's perfect, everybody-

.Bubble Bowl here we come

Flag twirlers, really .spin those thing

.OK, turn

.Flag twirlers, let's go

.I want to see some spinning

!Flag twirlers, let's move

!Come on, move

[PLANE SOUNDS]

[CRASH]

[TAPS PLAYING]

.ANNOUNCER: Day three

How's that harmonica- ?solo coming, Plankton

.It's tremendous-

?You want to see

[PANTING]

[HARMONICA SOUND]

[PANTING]

[HARMONICA SOUND]

[PANTING SOUND]

[HARMONICA SOUND]

[PANTING SOUND]

[SPLAT]

,Oh-

.ANNOUNCER: Day four

Well, this is our last night- .together before the show

And I know that you haven't .improved since we began

.But I have a theory

People talk loud when they ?want to act smart, right

!Correct-

,So if we we play loud- .people might think we're good

?Everybody ready

,And the one, and the two .and a one, two, three, four

[AWFUL BAND SOUND]

.OK, new theory

Maybe we should place .quietly no one can hear us

Well, maybe we wouldn't sound- so bad if some people didn't

try to play with .big, meaty claws

?What did you say, punk-

!Big, meaty claws-

Well, these claws ain't- .for just attractin' mates

.Bring it on, old man-

!Bring it on

.No, people-

.Let's be smart and bring it off

Oh, so now the talking cheese- .is going to preach to us

!Wait, wait-

.I know

.Tensions are high

[CRASH]

[CHATTER]

There's a deposit on .that equipment, people

[CHATTER]

[SCREECHING TIRES] .CRASH] Settle down]

!Wait

!Ha ya-

.Hey, class is over-

.OK, see you tomorrow-

[CHATTER]

.Well, you did it-

You took my one chance at happiness

and crushed it-- crushed it into .little, tiny, bit-sized pieces

I really had expected .better of you people

I guess I'm a .loser for that too

Don't bother .showing up tomorrow

I'll just tell them you all .died in a marching accident

.So thanks-- thanks for nothing

.You're welcome-

?What kind of monsters are we-

That poor creature came .to us in his hour of need

.And we failed him

Squidward's always been there for us

.when it was convenient for him

Evelyn, when your little Jimmy was

,trapped in a fire ?who rescued him

.A fireman-

And Larry, when- your heart gave out

from all those canning ?pills, who revived you

.Some guy in an ambulance-

.Right-

So if we all could just pretend that Squidward was a fireman

or some guy in an ambulance, then I

am sure we could all pull together and discover what it

truly means to be .in a marching band

!Yeah, for the firemen-

!Yeah-

Now, let's make- .Squidward proud

.A one, a two, a skilledilly doo

I knew this was- .going to happen

They're just going to have .to find another band to play

--I just hope that .Squilliam doesn't find out

[Squilliam! [SCREAMS ?What are you doing here

I just wanted to- .watch you blow it

?So where's your band

.They couldn't come-

.They died

?Then who's that-

!Ah-

.That would be my band

We're ready to- .perform Squidward

,Well, Squiddy- this is exactly how

.I pictured your band would look

.That's his eager face-

.Ha ha ha ha ha-

I guess this'll- be the last time

.I can show my face in this town

.That's the spirit Squidward-

.ANNOUNCER: OK, football fans

Put your hands together for .the Bikini Bottom Super Band

[CHEERS]

Those are some- .ugly looking fish

Maybe we're near one of- .those toxic waste dumps

.I think I'm going to be sick-

OK, everybody, let's get this- ,over with-- one, two, three

.four

[BAND PLAYING]

.SINGING] The winner takes all]-

It's the thrill .of one more kill

The last one to fall will .never sacrifice their will

Don't ever look back on .the world closing in

The only attack on .the wings of the wind

.Oh, the games will begin

,And it's sweet, sweet .sweet victory, yeah

.And it's ours for the taking

.It's ours for the fight

,And it's sweet, sweet .sweet, victory, yeah

.And the one who's last to fall

.Sweet, sweet, sweet victory

[MUSIC PLAYING]