Original subtitles

?Are you ready, kids

:Kids !Aye, aye, Captain

.I can't hear you

:[louder ] !Aye, aye, Captain

♪ ...Oh ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple ?under the sea ♪

♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants♪

♪ Absorbent and yellow .and porous is he ♪

♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants♪

♪ If nautical nonsense be ...something you wish ♪

♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants♪

♪ Then drop on the deck .and flop like a fish ♪

♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants♪

♪ ?Ready !SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

♪ !SpongeBob SquarePants ♪

[laughs heartily ]

plays airy tune][Captioning sponsored by THE ] U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

[and NICKELODEON

--There it is .Grandma's house

What wonders ?await me today

?Fresh-baked cookies

?Story time

A sweater with love ?in every stitch

?Aw, what am I waiting for

!Grandma, Grandma, Grandma

!SpongeBob

!Hi, Grandma

.Come in and sit for a while

,Have a cookie .SpongeBob

Grandma, you make the best cookies .in the deep blue sea

...Oh, yeah

[munches ]

[gulps ]

...Grandma's cookies

Now, who wants to ?lick the spoon

!Oh! Me, me, me

And then we drove... all the way home

with all the windows down .in the freezing cold

Tell me another story .about when I was a baby

[cuckoo clock chimes 3:00 ]

!?gasps] 3:00 ]

I'm going to be late !for work

.Hop in my car .I'll drop you off

!Thanks, Grandma

...SpongeBob !you forgot your kissy-kissy

.I sure did

[kisses ]

!Bye, Grandma !Thanks for the ride

.Thank you, Squidward

[others chuckling ]

...Oh, brother

[whistling ]

?Isn't this great

Everybody's .in a good mood today

I love bursting .your bubble, SpongeBob

,They're laughing atyou .not with you

Did I do ?something funny

.Your forehead

?My forehead is funny

!Hey, grandma's boy

!Kissy-kissy-kissy

[...all laughing ]

!No! You're wrong

...There there's nothing wrong

with getting kisses !from your grandma

No... especially if you're !a big baby who wears diapers

[all laugh ]

And, and sucks his thumb

and plays with dolls

and, um, wears pajamas with feet in them

,and carries his, um, uh ...binky around, and, uh

:OTHERS !All right already

.Cheer up, SpongeBob

I know someone .who still likes you

?Really ?You do, Squidward

!Yeah... your grandma

[...all laughing ]

[...laughter continues ]

[...all laughing ]

[grunting ]

[all laughing ]

!...Stop it

I have been publicly humiliated !for the last time

[crying ]

:PATRICK I'm sorry that happened .to you, SpongeBob

.Me, too

You're the most adult person .I know

.Thanks, Patrick

.You know how grandmas are

.They love babies

You just can't act .like a baby around her

.You're right, Patrick

?Have I ever not been right

[sizzling ]

[honking ]

[wolf-whistle ]

,You're a man now SpongeBob

and it's time you .started acting like one

!Yeah

Oh... but I'm not sure .I know how

Allow me .to demonstrate

,First .puff out your chest

".Now say "tax exemption

!Tax exemption

Now you must acquire .a taste for free-form jazz

[trumpet plays fast jazz riff ]

,Okay, SpongeBob !you're ready

.This is it

What are you going ?to tell Grandma

.I'm a grownup

.No ifs, ands or buts about it

A man's got to do .what a man's got to do

And then you get behind her .and I'll push

.Patrick, we didn't say that

.Oh, yeah, right

All we need now

is the icing .on the maturity cake

I've been growing .these babies for years

:BOTH ...Sideburns

.Oh, hello, SpongeBob

.What a nice surprise

Come here, give your granny .her kissy-kissy

...Mmm

[kisses ]

,Sorry, Grandmother .but the kissing has to stop

.Tell her like it is, SpongeBob

.No more baby stuff

.He is right, Grandmother

,Kisses are for babies .which I am no longer

.I have grown up

.It is nature's way

.Oh... you are absolutely right

?I am

.I mean, of course I am

You will definitely not be treated like a baby

.around here ever again

I am glad you see it .my way, Grandmother

:GRANDMA Well, I'm glad .that's settled

But what am I going to do

with all these ?fresh-baked cookies

[chuckles ] .Sorry, Grandmother

We adults don't partake .in the consumption of sweets

...Right, Pat

?rick

,Keep 'em coming !Granny

[slurping ]

.So much for no more baby stuff

And don't forget the !cookie-eating hat

[laughs ]

[both laughing ]

!Hey

!That's my cookie-eating hat

Uh... I mean, it was !when I was a baby

...Grr

.Well, look who's here

It's my big old .adult grandson

Grandmother, I need to have a mature conversation

.with Mr. Patrick

!Patrick !?What are you doing

!Cookies! Warm milk

!A bib

Is that a kissy mark ?on your forehead

!We are supposed to be adults

.Uh-uh-uh

No roughhousing .with a full tummy

[laughing ]

?Who's the baby

,I'm the baby, I'm the baby !I'm the baby

[clears throat ]

!Being grownup is boring

.I love being a baby

.Besides, I don't get jazz

.Oh, poor Patrick

.I almost feel sorry for you

Trapped in the awkward phase .of diaper days

Never to know the rich rewards .of being a grownup

.Here's a fresh batch of cookies

!All right

[munching ]

?Rewards, huh

...Well, yeah, there's

[munching ]

...Let's see, we, uh

.we went over the jazz

[munching ]

,Oh, Grandma .I'm full

.More cookies

[...vacuum cleaner running ]

[whistling ]

.It appears to be my lunch hour

.Grownups have to eat, too

.I guess this will have to do

:GRANDMA Oh, you don't want .this baby food

How about a big piece ?of steamed coral

.Oh, yeah, uh... great

[crunching ]

!Nutritious

:GRANDMA !Story time

,Oh, boy! Story time !story time, story time

?Story time

,You'll enjoy this .Patrick

It's a wonderful story .about a magical sea leprechaun

Oh, SpongeBob, you wouldn't be .interested in this babybook

Here's the technical manual .on Routine Active Maintenance

.Oh, uh, great

.Yeah... fascinating

No pictures, just the way .I like it

[munching ]

[crunch ]

!Ohh! My wittle finger

,Hold still .hold still

[kisses ]

?All better

:PATRICK ...Sorta

This finger hurts .a little bit, too

[Grandma kisses ]

How about I give you ?a present

!Oh, boy, I hope it's cookies

!All right

!Another hat

.No, Patrick, it's a sweater

?Huh

.With love in every stitch

...No

Don't I get ,a present ?Grandma

.Oh, I almost forgot

Here's some .office supplies

.I didn't wrap them

I knew .you wouldn't mind

[clock chimes 3:00 ]

.Uh-oh, 3:00

.Time for adults to go to work

.Bye-bye, SpongeBob

I'll bet you would fancy ?a nap, huh, Patrick

[Patrick yawns ]

:GRANDMA ,You're still here ?SpongeBob

.Uh... I don't have to leave yet

.I... can be late for work

No, no, no. That wouldn't .be the adult thing to do

,All right, uh .I guess I'll be going

I've, uh, got a lot of adult-type business

,to take care of ...so, uh

.I'll see you later

Okay. Thanks for .stopping by, SpongeBob

.Yup, that is it

.Here I go

Come again if you .get the chance

,Out into the cold ...grownup world

.alone... without a sweater

.Toodle-oo

.I don't know when I'll be back

.I know how busy you are

.So, uh... that's it

.Shh... he's asleep

...So... long

!I don't want to grow up

!I want cookies

!And milky

I want a sweater !with love in the stitches

!I want to wear didies

!I want to ride in my wagon

I want to cuddle-wuddle !with Mr. Stuffykins

I want to rocky-rock !on my seahorsey

And I want kissy-kissy !on my boo-boo

[crying ]

[...crying ]

[...continues ]

[...wailing ]

[...continues ]

ratcheting ] [...like lawn sprinkler

!Take it easy, SpongeBob

...SpongeBob

!SpongeBob

[crying and panting ]

You don't have to be a baby

to get .Old Grandma's love

[sniffles ]

?I don't

.Of course not

No matter how grownup you get

you will always be .my Little Baby Boo

[kisses ]

And remember, you can kiss your Grandma

.and still be an adult

.Here you go

.Thanks, Grandma

[munching and sighing ]

,Uh, Grandma could you not mention this

to the guys ?down at The Krusty Krab

.No problem

[squeak ]

[Squidward snickers ]

[...all laughing ]

[SpongeBob shrieks ]

[panting ]

Patrick, look, I [got my... [ gasps

[laughs ]

.I'm sorry, Patrick

,It's just ...for a second I thought

Hey, you got the same !reef-blower as me

[whirs loudly ]

!Tag, you're it

[laughs ]

[loud whirring, both laughing ]

[laughs ]

[whirring ]

[laughs ]

[laughs ]

[whirring ]

...Patrick

you made my house !sparkly clean

!Sure did

We haven't improved .Squidward's day yet

!Let's do his house

[whirring ]

[creaking ]

[laughs ]

!My turn

[whirring ]

!?What's going on out here

We're playing .with our new reef-blowers

?Playing with a reef-blower

That is the most childish thing !I've ever heard of

!But it's fun

Fun? How could playing

with one of those oversized ?hair dryers possibly be fun

:PATRICK .Like this

[whirring ]

[grunting ]

!Chafed

...All right, that's

[whirring ]

,Let's do your house .Patrick

!Yeah

?Huh

[panting, sizzling ]

:SPONGEBOB ,Squidward !you're steaming

You're like a steamed .vegetable, only smarter

!Put my windows back

,No problem .Squidward

We're on .your side

[whirring ]

...Any second now

...SpongeBob

this is .the final straw

I am going to move so far away

that I will be able .to brag about it

...I would [clunk ]

I would rather tear out my brain stem

carry it into the middle

of the nearest four-way intersection

and skip rope with it

than go on living .where I do now

.Hi there

?Is this the final straw

Do you want to move so far away ?that you can brag about it

Would you rather tear out your brain stem

walk out into the middle ...of the nearest three-way

...Four-way

Four-wayintersection

and skip rope with it

than continue living ?where you do now

...Then move to [static ]

.I hate this channel

!No, no

.Tentacle Acres...

Where happiness is .just a suction cup away

[pop ]

?Hello

?Yes, can I help you

.I'm here about the happiness

.I'll be moving in now

?Are you alone

,No... I mean, yes .there's nobody with me, yes

.Peace and quiet

Are you now or have you ?ever been a sponge

.No

...What about a

.No, no starfish

,Just a regular, normal ...peace-loving

[loud rumbling ]

[doors creaking ]

[kids laughing ]

...Heaven at last

:BOTH !Ohh

I've seen more alert people

!in a retirement home

Oh, which way to the Living Without ?a Brain seminar

!Don't be late

I've heard better comebacks

from a turkey !sandwich

!Get a life

This place is better !than I expected

.302... 303... and 304

!Beautiful

.And not a pineapple in sight

.Good night, Clary

.Tomorrow we begin life anew

[phone ringing ]

,304 New Life Street .Squidward speaking

[SpongeBob babbling ]

There is no way I am moving !back there, SpongeBob

.I am finally among my own kind

[SpongeBob babbling ]

!Now good-bye

[babbling ]

[babbling ]

[rooster crows ]

[inhales deeply ]

...Ahh

.I think I'll take my bike today

[...creaking ]

.I'm my own man

[clunk ]

Now, these neighbors .know how to live

!...Intensive

...Hmm... I bet they won't have

[gasps ] !Wow! They have it

!Canned bread

!This town is great

I would really be ...impressed if it had

!an interpretive dance academy

[...music playing ]

Yeah... it's even better !in a group

!This town is perfect

[...clarinets playing ]

!?A clarinet trio

[...all playing ]

[rooster crows ]

[inhales deeply ]

!Ahh... another great day

.Oh, look

.Everybody's on their bike today

.It just gets better and better

.All together

[all playing ]

I sort of... don't feel .like playing my clarinet today

.Yup, this is great

They might as well rename .this town Squidward's Paradise

.Or perhaps... Too Much Paradise

[whirring ]

?SpongeBob

...Feh

[...whirring ]

[laughs ]

[whistling ]

.Oops

[whirring ]

!Ohh

[grunting ]

[grunts ]

[chuckles ]

[clears throat ]

.Leaves

.Just getting the leaves

[whirring ]

[chuckles ]

[whirring ]

[laughing ]

[whirring ]

[laughs ]

[whirring ]

!Oof

[laughs ]

Could you pipe down ?over there, Iron Lung

[both laugh ]

[whirring ]

[laughs ]

Looks like when it comes to having fun

you don't have .a leg to stand on

[laughing ]

!Hey, that's not funny

!Yeah

What's going on ?over here

.It's that guy

He's playing .with a reef-blower

?Playing? With a reef-blower

That's the most childish thing .I've ever heard of

.But it's fun

[laughs ]

How could you possibly have fun

with one of those ?oversized hair dryers

!Like this

[whirring ]

[clarinet tooting ]

!Ahh! Give it back! Please

[whirring ]

[laughing ]

!Tag, you're it

[whirring ]

!...Whoa

[laughing ]

?What can I get you boys

[...whirring ]

[...laughing ]

What are you ?looking at

.Those

:SPONGEBOB .Here it is, Patrick

Now we've just got to convince .Squidward to come back home

?You got our apology cake

!We're ready

!Yay

?Hello, can I help you

Can I get a large number ?one, extra size

But you just ate three orders .of fried oyster skins

...I love .fried oyster skins

We're sorry, but your kind .isn't allowed here

,He's not leaving .Orville

You got your ?nightstick ready

[sniffs ]

!?Fried oyster skins ...Oh

[buzz ]

[doors creak ]

I guess we got to .order inside

[yelling ]

[laughing ]

[whirring ]

[laughing ]

[crowd yelling ]

[laughing ]

Hey! That looked !like Squidward

[yelling ]

That looked like Squidward also

.in angry mob form

,Hold it right there !Mr. Tentacles

!Stay back !I got gardening tools

,Here !just read this

?What is it

A well thought-out and .organized list of complaints

[crowd yelling ]

,Patrick, look !it's Squidward

!Squidward !We finally found you

!Get off me

.I'm not Squidward

Are you ?Squidward now

!?Grievances

!This town is a grievance

There should be a law

against so many stuck-up !tightwads living in one place

This city needs !to be destroyed

Or at least painted .a different color

F.Y.I., you don't ,have to live here .you know

!Hey, you're right

.And I'm leaving A.S.A.P

?Are you Squidward

.No

?Are you Squidward

.No

?Are you Squidward

,That's okay .take your time

Any one of these Squidwards

could be the real .Squidward, Patrick

[boom ]

[whooshing ]

!Whoa-ho, freedom

!Whoo-hoo

[Squidward laughing ]

...Well, we know one thing

.It sure isn't that guy

!Whoo-hoo-ee

Captioning sponsored by THE] U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

[and NICKELODEON

Captioned byThe Caption Center] [WGBH Educational Foundation