Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:08,083 --> 00:00:11,708
♪ It's Christmas Eve
and snow is on the ground ♪
2
00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:21,875
♪ Mistletoe and holly all around ♪
3
00:00:23,708 --> 00:00:27,541
♪ Yes, all the world is happy ♪
4
00:00:27,625 --> 00:00:31,000
♪ but since you went away ♪
5
00:00:31,083 --> 00:00:34,208
♪ my Christmas will be just ♪
6
00:00:36,375 --> 00:00:38,083
♪ another lonely day...
7
00:00:38,166 --> 00:00:40,291
Oh, it's cold! I need to pee.
8
00:00:40,375 --> 00:00:41,583
Oh, golly gee.
9
00:00:41,666 --> 00:00:42,916
I'll be right back!
10
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:45,125
Please stop.
11
00:00:45,208 --> 00:00:47,208
That's your sister! Look.
12
00:00:47,291 --> 00:00:48,416
Don't punch your sister.
13
00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:50,416
Please stop!
14
00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:53,500
All three of you are gonna
get in so much trouble.
15
00:00:53,583 --> 00:00:54,791
Hold on.
16
00:00:54,875 --> 00:00:56,416
Hi. Can I help you?
17
00:00:56,500 --> 00:00:58,208
Hi. Do you mind
18
00:00:58,291 --> 00:01:00,666
if I have a word with your kids?
19
00:01:00,750 --> 00:01:02,083
Uh, sure.
20
00:01:02,166 --> 00:01:04,875
Okay, kids, I couldn't help but notice
21
00:01:04,958 --> 00:01:09,458
that your mommy here is trying very hard
to keep you happy,
22
00:01:09,541 --> 00:01:13,833
and I just wanted to say that, um,
you really should be nicer to her.
23
00:01:13,916 --> 00:01:15,666
Okay?
24
00:01:15,750 --> 00:01:19,208
Because someday she's going to be dead.
25
00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:22,083
Merry Christmas.
26
00:01:25,083 --> 00:01:26,833
Oh, don't look at me like that.
27
00:01:26,916 --> 00:01:29,958
Scrooge gets famous for being grumpy
around the holidays,
28
00:01:30,041 --> 00:01:32,875
and I'm not entitled
to one little outburst?
29
00:01:32,958 --> 00:01:34,166
-Bye.
-Come to think of it,
30
00:01:34,250 --> 00:01:35,666
where are the holiday movies about moms?
31
00:01:35,750 --> 00:01:37,916
I can name a dozen about men, easy.
32
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,625
There's Christmas Vacation,
It's a Wonderful Life,
33
00:01:40,708 --> 00:01:43,791
The Santa Clause, Home Alone, Elf,
34
00:01:43,875 --> 00:01:46,500
this one, that one, that guy, this guy,
35
00:01:46,583 --> 00:01:47,833
him, them.
36
00:01:47,916 --> 00:01:50,250
Heck, Steve Martin is some kind of hero
37
00:01:50,333 --> 00:01:52,750
because he spends a few days
trying to get home
38
00:01:52,833 --> 00:01:54,625
in Planes, Trains and Automobiles.
39
00:01:54,708 --> 00:01:56,500
And what does his beautiful wife get?
40
00:01:56,583 --> 00:01:58,791
You know, the woman at home
who's been taking care of the kids,
41
00:01:58,875 --> 00:02:00,791
cooking and cleaning.
42
00:02:00,875 --> 00:02:03,583
Around 89 seconds of screen time.
43
00:02:03,666 --> 00:02:07,666
They need to make a movie
about the true heroes of the holidays:
44
00:02:07,750 --> 00:02:09,541
moms.
45
00:02:11,416 --> 00:02:14,833
I was all prepared
for my favorite holiday, Christmas.
46
00:02:14,916 --> 00:02:17,250
I'd been planning it since January 1st...
47
00:02:17,333 --> 00:02:21,375
...and I was watching my number one
TV program, Zazzy Tims.
48
00:02:21,458 --> 00:02:24,250
And, folks, stay right here,
because after the break,
49
00:02:24,333 --> 00:02:27,208
we'll be joined by Chef Emeril Lagasse,
50
00:02:27,291 --> 00:02:30,333
and he's gonna tell us how to cook
a beautiful Christmas turkey
51
00:02:30,416 --> 00:02:32,250
with a little Cajun twist.
52
00:02:32,333 --> 00:02:34,666
Bam! Oh, and don't forget,
53
00:02:34,750 --> 00:02:37,958
the annual Zazzy Tims Holiday Mom Contest
is upon us.
54
00:02:38,041 --> 00:02:42,958
And you've got one day left to nominate
your very own holiday mom
55
00:02:43,041 --> 00:02:48,583
to win an all expenses paid Christmas trip
out to Burbank to be a guest on my show.
56
00:02:48,666 --> 00:02:50,416
It's your chance to show your mom
57
00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:52,166
how special she is.
58
00:02:52,250 --> 00:02:55,125
So get those applications in
before it's too late.
59
00:03:05,666 --> 00:03:07,583
I don't need this.
60
00:03:09,750 --> 00:03:10,916
-Hey, hon.
-Hey.
61
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,250
Oh, my God, you're just starting that?
62
00:03:13,333 --> 00:03:16,666
Honey, it's gonna take me 45 minutes
to an hour tops to build this thing, okay?
63
00:03:16,750 --> 00:03:18,708
And Ben and Lucy are gonna love it.
64
00:03:18,791 --> 00:03:20,625
That's a lot of parts. Good luck.
65
00:03:20,708 --> 00:03:22,166
So I'm gonna run errands.
66
00:03:22,250 --> 00:03:23,958
-You need anything?
-Nope, I'm good.
67
00:03:24,041 --> 00:03:25,250
Just drive safe.
68
00:03:25,333 --> 00:03:30,041
Hey, the kids haven't mentioned
the, um, Zazzy contest to you, have they?
69
00:03:30,625 --> 00:03:32,958
Because I've sent them messages about it.
70
00:03:33,041 --> 00:03:34,416
Um, I definitely did.
71
00:03:34,500 --> 00:03:35,750
Contest?
72
00:03:35,833 --> 00:03:37,541
The Holiday Mom Contest?
73
00:03:37,625 --> 00:03:39,125
Your kids have to submit you.
74
00:03:39,208 --> 00:03:41,166
It's... it's a whole thing.
75
00:03:42,333 --> 00:03:45,666
Did you... tell them to submit you?
76
00:03:45,750 --> 00:03:48,708
I can't ask them to submit me.
77
00:03:48,791 --> 00:03:50,791
That would be cheating.
78
00:03:50,875 --> 00:03:52,750
I want them to want to submit me.
79
00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:57,458
I mean, who cares?
It's just a silly little contest.
80
00:03:57,541 --> 00:04:00,375
It's really not that important to me.
81
00:04:00,458 --> 00:04:02,791
I see it.
82
00:04:02,875 --> 00:04:05,500
I see it on your face.
83
00:04:05,583 --> 00:04:08,291
I suppose I could text them one more time.
84
00:04:09,375 --> 00:04:10,750
Couldn't hurt.
85
00:04:24,791 --> 00:04:28,500
♪ Welcome to my Christmas song ♪
86
00:04:28,582 --> 00:04:32,082
♪ I'd like to thank you for the year ♪
87
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:37,791
♪ So I'm-a sending you
this Christmas card ♪
88
00:04:37,875 --> 00:04:41,541
♪ to say, "It's nice to have you here" ♪
89
00:04:43,875 --> 00:04:46,916
♪ I'd like to sing about all the things ♪
90
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:50,582
♪ your eyes and mind can see ♪
91
00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:53,957
♪ So hop aboard your turntable ♪
92
00:04:54,041 --> 00:04:59,375
♪ Oh, step into Christmas with me, yeah ♪
93
00:05:00,666 --> 00:05:03,916
♪ Step into Christmas,
let's join together ♪
94
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:07,416
♪ We can watch the snow fall
forever and ever ♪
95
00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:09,250
♪ Eat, drink and be merry ♪
96
00:05:09,333 --> 00:05:11,166
♪ Come along with me ♪
97
00:05:11,250 --> 00:05:12,916
♪ Step into Christmas ♪
98
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:16,000
♪ The admission's free ♪♪
99
00:05:17,291 --> 00:05:19,541
Channing is my oldest.
100
00:05:19,625 --> 00:05:23,291
She, her husband Doug and their twins,
Lucy and Ben,
101
00:05:23,375 --> 00:05:26,750
live just a few hours away in Austin.
102
00:05:26,832 --> 00:05:30,416
Makes me so happy to have her close by.
103
00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:35,832
She's her own woman now, but I still make
an extra stop at Schultz's every year
104
00:05:35,916 --> 00:05:37,625
just so she can have her pfeffernuss.
105
00:05:37,707 --> 00:05:40,125
-Hello!
-She loves pfeffernuss.
106
00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:41,541
Hello!
107
00:05:41,625 --> 00:05:43,875
Mom?
108
00:05:43,957 --> 00:05:45,541
- The Christmas tree!
- Dad?
109
00:05:45,625 --> 00:05:47,207
- So cool.
- Ding-dong.
110
00:05:47,291 --> 00:05:50,457
She hasn't gotten rid of
a single decoration since we were kids.
111
00:05:50,541 --> 00:05:51,750
That one's mine.
112
00:05:51,832 --> 00:05:53,375
Hey, don't touch the presents.
113
00:05:53,457 --> 00:05:54,832
Mom?
114
00:05:54,916 --> 00:05:56,291
-I'm here!
-Hi, Mom.
115
00:05:56,375 --> 00:05:57,625
Hello!
116
00:05:57,707 --> 00:05:59,041
- Grandmama Claire!
- Come here!
117
00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:00,541
I have missed you two so much.
118
00:06:00,625 --> 00:06:02,833
Hey, I thought I heard voices.
119
00:06:02,916 --> 00:06:04,625
- Little Bean!
- Oh, hey, Dad!
120
00:06:04,708 --> 00:06:06,083
-Hey.
-Hey. Hey!
121
00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:07,958
-Hey, handsome.
-Hi, beautiful.
122
00:06:08,041 --> 00:06:09,583
-How are you? Thanks for having us.
-I'm good.
123
00:06:09,666 --> 00:06:11,583
-So happy to see you.
-I'm gonna squeeze upstairs.
124
00:06:11,666 --> 00:06:13,125
-Excuse me. Keep talking.
-Oh, you want a hand with those bags?
125
00:06:13,208 --> 00:06:15,000
-I don't need a hand. I am very--
-Let me give you a hand.
126
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,875
-Nope. Nick, I got it. Nick. Nick.
-Yeah, come on. Especially this big one.
127
00:06:16,957 --> 00:06:18,500
- It's too big for you.
- You guys...
128
00:06:18,582 --> 00:06:21,791
Hey, you guys haven't heard
of this show, um,
129
00:06:21,875 --> 00:06:24,750
the, uh-- So You're a Dancer, have you?
130
00:06:24,832 --> 00:06:26,082
- It's our favorite show.
- I got it.
131
00:06:27,666 --> 00:06:29,000
- Here we go. Come on.
- I am so relieved,
132
00:06:29,082 --> 00:06:30,416
because I have been wondering...
133
00:06:30,500 --> 00:06:35,625
...what to do with all these tickets
that are burning a hole in my pocket
134
00:06:35,707 --> 00:06:38,875
for the So You're a Dancer Holiday Tour,
135
00:06:38,957 --> 00:06:42,500
coming to Houston tomorrow,
and we are all going!
136
00:06:42,582 --> 00:06:44,207
Yay!
137
00:06:44,291 --> 00:06:46,625
Here you go, pal. All set?
138
00:06:46,707 --> 00:06:48,166
-Thank you so much. Appreciate it.
-All right.
139
00:06:48,250 --> 00:06:49,707
-Thank you.
-You got it from here?
140
00:06:49,791 --> 00:06:51,375
Got it from here. I'll take it.
141
00:06:55,625 --> 00:06:57,750
Hey, did anyone find Barnaby?
142
00:06:57,832 --> 00:06:58,916
Who's Barnaby?
143
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:03,291
Barnaby is the Elf on the Shelf
144
00:07:03,375 --> 00:07:09,416
who is hiding somewhere in or around
this very house.
145
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:15,000
And at night, he flies back to
the North Pole and reports back to Santa
146
00:07:15,083 --> 00:07:17,291
on who's being naughty or nice.
147
00:07:17,375 --> 00:07:19,207
Yeah, we-we know how it works, Mom.
148
00:07:19,291 --> 00:07:21,457
We have an elf at home, too.
149
00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:23,707
His name is Sneaky Pete.
150
00:07:23,791 --> 00:07:24,832
Ew, Sneaky Pete?
151
00:07:24,916 --> 00:07:26,457
That's so creepy.
152
00:07:26,541 --> 00:07:28,207
Yeah. Sneaky is creepy.
153
00:07:29,582 --> 00:07:31,707
Okay. Go, go, go, go, go!
154
00:07:31,791 --> 00:07:32,875
-He's hidden very well.
-Come on, guys, let's check downstairs
155
00:07:32,957 --> 00:07:34,000
and see if he's down there. Come on!
156
00:07:34,082 --> 00:07:35,125
-And you better hurry.
-Let's see if we can find him.
157
00:07:35,207 --> 00:07:36,207
- Yay!
- Come on.
158
00:07:36,291 --> 00:07:38,332
- They're so cute.
- Where is he? Where is he?
159
00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:39,916
Yeah, they are.
160
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,250
It is so good to see you.
161
00:07:42,332 --> 00:07:44,332
Hey.
162
00:07:50,375 --> 00:07:51,750
Hot, hot, hot, hot! Watch out.
163
00:07:51,832 --> 00:07:53,375
Mmm.
164
00:07:53,457 --> 00:07:54,791
So how are you?
165
00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:56,916
I'm-I'm good. Yeah, you know--
166
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,041
-Are you hungry?
-No, I'm okay.
167
00:07:59,125 --> 00:08:01,041
-We-we had some--
-Here, have some carrots.
168
00:08:01,125 --> 00:08:02,125
Okay.
169
00:08:02,208 --> 00:08:03,708
Oh, thanks.
170
00:08:03,791 --> 00:08:05,083
Tell me everything.
171
00:08:05,166 --> 00:08:08,833
My little girl, weight of the world
on her shoulders.
172
00:08:08,916 --> 00:08:12,333
Things are a little unhinged right now
with the...
173
00:08:12,416 --> 00:08:14,875
No one warns you
how the older your kids get,
174
00:08:14,958 --> 00:08:18,416
the harder it is to have
an informed opinion about their lives.
175
00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:19,832
That's so great.
176
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:22,291
No, it's-it's not... not great.
177
00:08:22,375 --> 00:08:25,375
It-It's just, I've never written
a murder mystery before.
178
00:08:25,457 --> 00:08:27,957
It's the, it's the trickiest thing
I've ever tried to plot and--
179
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:31,125
I'm sure you will do a good job.
You're so smart.
180
00:08:31,207 --> 00:08:33,832
I mean, you know, you just--
you'll make something up.
181
00:08:33,915 --> 00:08:36,250
Oh, that reminds me, um,
182
00:08:36,332 --> 00:08:38,625
I bumped into Julie Sager,
183
00:08:38,707 --> 00:08:43,290
and she said you never reached out
to her daughter Alyssa.
184
00:08:43,375 --> 00:08:44,665
I know. I know.
185
00:08:44,750 --> 00:08:48,665
'Cause it-it didn't make, it didn't make
any sense what you were asking.
186
00:08:48,750 --> 00:08:51,083
Alyssa writes about the stock market.
187
00:08:51,165 --> 00:08:54,540
I write novels. It's totally different.
188
00:08:54,625 --> 00:08:55,625
Well, okay.
189
00:08:55,708 --> 00:08:58,250
Well, could you at least send her
190
00:08:58,333 --> 00:09:01,125
one of those... free copies?
191
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:05,125
They're called galleys,
and no, they're for trade reviewers.
192
00:09:05,208 --> 00:09:06,541
How do you know she's not one?
193
00:09:06,625 --> 00:09:08,541
'Cause she's not.
194
00:09:10,625 --> 00:09:11,708
Candles.
195
00:09:15,500 --> 00:09:17,958
You've got to smell these candles.
196
00:09:20,166 --> 00:09:21,166
Mom.
197
00:09:21,250 --> 00:09:24,333
That is the scent of dusk.
198
00:09:24,416 --> 00:09:25,875
-No.
-Uh, Zazzy Tims--
199
00:09:25,958 --> 00:09:27,541
you know, Zazzy--
200
00:09:27,625 --> 00:09:30,333
well, she did a whole segment on them.
201
00:09:30,416 --> 00:09:33,708
They're called Monochrome candles.
202
00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:35,665
It's a luxury aesthetic.
203
00:09:35,750 --> 00:09:40,208
I'm giving one of these to that Jeanne
Wang-Wasserman across the street.
204
00:09:40,290 --> 00:09:43,083
Well, I'm sure she'll love it, Mom.
205
00:09:48,708 --> 00:09:50,208
Thanks.
206
00:09:53,165 --> 00:09:55,333
- Uncle Sammy's here!
- He's here!
207
00:09:55,415 --> 00:09:57,250
Uncle Sammy's here!
208
00:09:57,333 --> 00:09:58,333
Yay!
209
00:09:58,415 --> 00:09:59,665
Uncle Sammy's here!
210
00:09:59,750 --> 00:10:01,416
-He's here!
-We're gonna surprise him when he comes.
211
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:02,708
Uncle Sammy's here!
212
00:10:02,791 --> 00:10:06,125
Sammy is the baby of the family.
213
00:10:06,208 --> 00:10:08,833
He lives in Portland
with his soulmate Mae-bell,
214
00:10:08,916 --> 00:10:10,541
who we are finally getting to meet.
215
00:10:10,625 --> 00:10:12,416
I'm not going.
216
00:10:12,500 --> 00:10:13,916
What? Why?
217
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:17,625
For one, I want to go to Los Angeles
to see my family.
218
00:10:17,708 --> 00:10:19,708
-You see your family all the time.
-And two,
219
00:10:19,791 --> 00:10:22,250
-I-I think we should break up.
-Okay.
220
00:10:22,333 --> 00:10:24,291
Is there a third thing?
221
00:10:24,375 --> 00:10:26,958
I know this is not what you expected.
222
00:10:27,041 --> 00:10:28,458
I can't believe you're doing this.
223
00:10:28,541 --> 00:10:30,416
We had sex last night.
224
00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:32,208
I don't really see how that's relevant.
225
00:10:32,290 --> 00:10:33,958
We had sex this morning.
226
00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:35,708
We're young, Sammy. That's what we do.
227
00:10:35,790 --> 00:10:38,583
But I'm in love with you, Mae-bell.
228
00:10:38,665 --> 00:10:41,540
And I think you're great, too,
229
00:10:41,625 --> 00:10:44,290
but... I want more.
230
00:10:44,375 --> 00:10:47,083
What more could you possibly want?
231
00:10:47,165 --> 00:10:49,125
You don't have a job.
232
00:10:49,208 --> 00:10:51,040
I do have a job.
233
00:10:51,125 --> 00:10:53,790
A camp counselor?
For three months of the year?
234
00:10:53,875 --> 00:10:55,583
What happened to the other nine?
235
00:10:55,665 --> 00:10:56,665
Mae-bell, listen to me.
236
00:10:56,750 --> 00:11:00,625
You're cool and fun, and I just can't
imagine my life without you.
237
00:11:00,708 --> 00:11:04,458
So, please, I'm begging you,
don't do this.
238
00:11:05,541 --> 00:11:06,875
♪ Welcome home ♪
239
00:11:06,958 --> 00:11:08,375
♪ Uncle Sammy ♪
240
00:11:08,458 --> 00:11:10,500
-♪ If you want to eat a-- ♪
-Mae-bell dumped me.
241
00:11:10,583 --> 00:11:12,958
- Aw.
- I'm a husk of my former self.
242
00:11:13,041 --> 00:11:14,250
I need a cinnamon roll.
243
00:11:14,333 --> 00:11:15,875
- Sorry, Sammy. Come, come.
- Come on.
244
00:11:15,958 --> 00:11:17,625
Sweetie...
245
00:11:17,708 --> 00:11:20,541
listen to me.
246
00:11:20,625 --> 00:11:23,541
You are wonderful and fantastic
in every way,
247
00:11:23,625 --> 00:11:27,583
and if Mae-bell doesn't see that,
well, that's her loss.
248
00:11:27,666 --> 00:11:28,833
Uh, you don't know that.
249
00:11:28,916 --> 00:11:30,208
It's competitive out there.
250
00:11:30,291 --> 00:11:32,415
People have options these days.
251
00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:34,125
Exactly. Options.
252
00:11:34,208 --> 00:11:36,290
Get back out there. Meet new people.
253
00:11:36,375 --> 00:11:38,250
These cinnamon buns taste different.
254
00:11:38,333 --> 00:11:39,583
Take a pottery class.
255
00:11:39,665 --> 00:11:41,125
What's different about them?
256
00:11:41,208 --> 00:11:43,458
She's trying Zazzy recipes again.
257
00:11:44,540 --> 00:11:48,458
You could go on one of those
Club Med vacations for singles.
258
00:11:48,540 --> 00:11:49,833
Mom.
259
00:11:49,915 --> 00:11:53,083
That or apply to grad school, you know,
open a savings account.
260
00:11:53,165 --> 00:11:54,333
You know, take some time
261
00:11:54,415 --> 00:11:56,040
- to work on you, Sammy.
- Mm-hmm.
262
00:11:56,125 --> 00:11:58,083
- Taylor's here! Taylor's here!
- Taylor's here!
263
00:11:58,165 --> 00:11:59,165
Taylor's here?
264
00:11:59,958 --> 00:12:02,291
Taylor is my middle child.
265
00:12:02,375 --> 00:12:05,041
-Every year for the past ten years...
-Hi!
266
00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:07,125
...she's brought home a different woman
for the holidays.
267
00:12:07,208 --> 00:12:09,708
And every year, we act excited...
268
00:12:09,791 --> 00:12:10,916
Hi!
269
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,708
...because we love her, and that's family.
270
00:12:12,791 --> 00:12:15,375
All right, all right, family. Hold up.
271
00:12:15,458 --> 00:12:19,750
Let me introduce you to someone
very special to me.
272
00:12:19,833 --> 00:12:24,541
The most beautiful, best emcee
in all of Minneapolis...
273
00:12:27,416 --> 00:12:30,250
...my girlfriend, DJ Sweatpants.
274
00:12:32,625 --> 00:12:34,750
-Aw, that's great.
-Aw.
275
00:12:34,833 --> 00:12:37,583
Also, you can call me DJ Sweatpants
or Sweet-P or...
276
00:12:37,665 --> 00:12:38,958
-Yeah.
-...even just Donna.
277
00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:40,083
Mm-hmm.
278
00:12:40,165 --> 00:12:41,915
I told y'all she was the best, huh?
279
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,540
-Welcome to Texas!
-Ah!
280
00:12:43,625 --> 00:12:45,415
- Whoo! Yeehaw!
- Hi!
281
00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:47,208
- Hey, honey.
- I missed you guys.
282
00:12:47,290 --> 00:12:48,290
-Hi.
-Hi.
283
00:12:48,375 --> 00:12:50,708
- What's up?
- So nice to meet you.
284
00:12:50,790 --> 00:12:52,083
Hi, Channing.
Oh, I've heard so much about you.
285
00:12:52,165 --> 00:12:54,208
I missed you.
286
00:12:58,875 --> 00:13:00,625
Wow.
287
00:13:00,708 --> 00:13:03,291
Claire! Let's say hi!
288
00:13:03,375 --> 00:13:05,250
Hi, Jeanne!
289
00:13:05,333 --> 00:13:07,500
- Hi.
- Jeanne Wang-Wasserman,
290
00:13:07,583 --> 00:13:09,375
my impossibly perfect neighbor.
291
00:13:09,458 --> 00:13:13,166
One of those people who make you feel like
you're somehow always falling short.
292
00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:14,250
Merry Christmas!
293
00:13:14,333 --> 00:13:17,291
You remember my kids, right?
294
00:13:17,375 --> 00:13:19,083
Astrid, Elizabeth,
295
00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:22,416
Marcus, Gar and his sweetheart Diane.
296
00:13:23,666 --> 00:13:25,333
Of course. Hello.
297
00:13:25,416 --> 00:13:26,833
So nice to see you.
298
00:13:26,916 --> 00:13:28,708
Merry Christmas, Jeff.
299
00:13:28,791 --> 00:13:30,708
Nick. Merry Christmas.
300
00:13:31,791 --> 00:13:33,333
It is a merry Christmas.
301
00:13:33,415 --> 00:13:34,915
I see you took my advice
302
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,665
and went sans lawn inflatables this year.
303
00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:43,250
I think I speak for everyone on the block
when I say that we all really appreciate
304
00:13:43,333 --> 00:13:46,625
that you decided
not to put them up this year.
305
00:13:46,708 --> 00:13:52,375
Oh, well, actually I'm still
in the decision-making process, so...
306
00:13:52,458 --> 00:13:54,250
Well, okay.
307
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:56,040
I better let you all get to your dinner.
308
00:13:56,125 --> 00:13:57,583
- Bye.
- Blessings!
309
00:13:57,665 --> 00:13:58,833
-See ya.
-Bye.
310
00:13:58,915 --> 00:14:00,291
-Blessings.
-Blessings.
311
00:14:00,375 --> 00:14:02,083
See ya.
312
00:14:03,333 --> 00:14:06,083
-Blessings!
-Blessings.
313
00:14:06,166 --> 00:14:07,208
Blessings!
314
00:14:07,916 --> 00:14:09,125
Blessings.
315
00:14:09,208 --> 00:14:12,166
Sammy, Doug, go get the lawn inflatables
and the air pump out of the shed now.
316
00:14:12,250 --> 00:14:13,958
- Speed walk?
- Go.
317
00:14:19,125 --> 00:14:24,625
♪ Silent night ♪
318
00:14:24,708 --> 00:14:28,041
♪ Holy night ♪
319
00:14:29,125 --> 00:14:34,040
-♪ All is calm ♪
-♪ All is calm ♪
320
00:14:34,125 --> 00:14:37,790
♪ All is bright ♪
321
00:14:37,875 --> 00:14:38,958
♪ Ooh ♪
322
00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:43,290
-♪ Round yon virgin ♪
-♪ Virgin ♪
323
00:14:43,375 --> 00:14:47,958
♪ Mother and child ♪
324
00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:51,375
♪ Holy infant ♪
325
00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:54,708
♪ so tender and mild ♪
326
00:14:54,790 --> 00:14:56,915
♪ So tender and mild ♪
327
00:14:57,000 --> 00:15:00,041
♪ Sleep in heavenly ♪
328
00:15:02,333 --> 00:15:05,791
♪ peace ♪
329
00:15:05,875 --> 00:15:10,000
♪ Sleep in heavenly ♪
330
00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:13,500
♪ peace ♪♪
331
00:15:13,583 --> 00:15:17,708
Aw, oh, God!
332
00:15:19,833 --> 00:15:21,250
Beautiful.
333
00:15:30,166 --> 00:15:31,833
Barbaric.
334
00:15:43,415 --> 00:15:45,083
-Hey, Mrs. C.
-Hey, Donna.
335
00:15:46,540 --> 00:15:48,583
Inflatables are up.
336
00:15:48,665 --> 00:15:51,708
♪ They say she may be beaten,
but I know...
337
00:15:51,790 --> 00:15:54,000
Taylor, feet off the furniture, please.
338
00:15:54,083 --> 00:15:56,375
I just cleaned that table.
339
00:15:57,083 --> 00:16:01,041
I didn't realize Mom's old wooden table
was a family heirloom.
340
00:16:01,125 --> 00:16:03,083
Ooh, snap.
341
00:16:04,166 --> 00:16:07,500
♪ Met a man in Beirut...
342
00:16:14,208 --> 00:16:16,333
Channing tells me
that you're getting into photography.
343
00:16:16,416 --> 00:16:18,583
Is that true?
344
00:16:18,666 --> 00:16:21,250
Uh, I-I mean, I guess I told her
345
00:16:21,333 --> 00:16:24,916
that I picked up, like, an old camera
at a yard sale.
346
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,166
-But, I mean, kind of.
-That's so cool.
347
00:16:27,250 --> 00:16:29,166
That's-that's how it starts,
the old habit.
348
00:16:31,666 --> 00:16:33,125
Poor Doug.
349
00:16:33,208 --> 00:16:35,000
He's an only child.
350
00:16:35,083 --> 00:16:37,750
No natural defenses against my kids.
351
00:16:37,833 --> 00:16:39,708
I keep expecting he'll build some up,
352
00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:42,915
but at this point,
I don't know what it'll take.
353
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:46,125
Yeah, I don't know if she mentioned it,
but, you know, I'm, uh...
354
00:16:46,208 --> 00:16:49,040
was a bit of a shutterbug myself.
355
00:16:50,165 --> 00:16:51,290
Huh.
356
00:16:51,375 --> 00:16:53,750
No, no, she never told me that you were
357
00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:56,290
-a shutterbug yourself.
-Really?
358
00:16:56,375 --> 00:16:58,750
So funny. She didn't tell you.
359
00:16:58,833 --> 00:17:00,416
If you ever...
360
00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:03,041
whatever, if you ever want
to talk about it, I'm here...
361
00:17:03,125 --> 00:17:04,125
Yeah.
362
00:17:04,208 --> 00:17:05,665
...to talk about it with you.
363
00:17:07,083 --> 00:17:09,500
Hey, did I ever tell you I, um...
364
00:17:09,583 --> 00:17:12,540
um, I kissed this guy in high school once?
365
00:17:12,625 --> 00:17:14,375
And he--
366
00:17:14,458 --> 00:17:17,000
I'm gonna go and get some more wine.
367
00:17:17,083 --> 00:17:19,333
-Right now.
-Yeah.
368
00:17:20,415 --> 00:17:21,415
Sorry.
369
00:17:23,458 --> 00:17:26,458
♪ Wise men better
get themselves together...
370
00:17:26,540 --> 00:17:28,165
So you're a shutterbug?
371
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,708
Hmm?
372
00:17:30,791 --> 00:17:32,291
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
373
00:17:33,125 --> 00:17:35,250
- Oh, my God, is that Taylor?
- Yeah.
374
00:17:35,333 --> 00:17:37,416
- She looks exactly the same.
- I know.
375
00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:40,125
-And there... Sammy.
-Oh, oh.
376
00:17:40,208 --> 00:17:41,833
Oh, I didn't recognize him
with his glasses on.
377
00:17:41,916 --> 00:17:44,750
- Yeah.
- And who's that?
378
00:17:44,833 --> 00:17:50,583
Oh, that is, um, Taylor's old
foreign exchange student friend Mia.
379
00:17:50,666 --> 00:17:53,041
Right.
380
00:17:54,291 --> 00:17:58,416
♪ Why not start it up
with Christmas Day? ♪
381
00:17:58,500 --> 00:17:59,541
♪ Merry ♪
382
00:18:01,708 --> 00:18:05,750
♪ Merry, merry, merry, merry ♪
383
00:18:05,833 --> 00:18:07,583
♪ Merry Christmas ♪
384
00:18:07,666 --> 00:18:09,541
♪ Merry, merry ♪
385
00:18:09,625 --> 00:18:14,416
♪ Merry, merry, merry, merry ♪
386
00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:16,500
♪ Merry Christmas...
387
00:18:16,583 --> 00:18:18,375
-Hey, Mom.
-Hmm?
388
00:18:18,458 --> 00:18:21,791
Donna is a vegan,
and I forgot to tell you.
389
00:18:21,875 --> 00:18:22,875
Taylor.
390
00:18:22,958 --> 00:18:24,750
We're eating sirloin.
391
00:18:26,541 --> 00:18:28,916
I mean, whatever you can make
for her is totally fine.
392
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,666
Like, as long as it's vegan, yeah.
393
00:18:33,041 --> 00:18:34,375
Don't mind me.
394
00:18:34,458 --> 00:18:36,083
Mom, did you get the pfeffernuss?
395
00:18:36,166 --> 00:18:37,500
Yes, yes, I did.
396
00:18:37,583 --> 00:18:40,541
It's in the, um, uh...
397
00:18:40,625 --> 00:18:42,166
Just one second.
398
00:18:42,250 --> 00:18:43,708
- Who's that?
- Kate.
399
00:18:43,791 --> 00:18:46,750
-She was sweet.
-And, uh, she is...?
400
00:18:46,833 --> 00:18:49,541
Oh, Isabelle... I think her name was.
401
00:18:49,625 --> 00:18:52,500
- Who is that?
- Patricia. Also sweet.
402
00:18:53,625 --> 00:18:55,000
And who's that?
403
00:18:55,083 --> 00:18:56,958
- That's, um, Rebecca.
- She's pretty.
404
00:18:57,041 --> 00:18:59,416
Yeah.
405
00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:01,041
Taylor didn't like her knees.
406
00:19:01,125 --> 00:19:02,666
Oh.
407
00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:06,875
But I bet your knees are very nice knees.
408
00:19:06,958 --> 00:19:08,583
Uh...
409
00:19:08,666 --> 00:19:10,666
Yeah. I mean, they're just...
410
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,458
they're normal knees.
411
00:19:12,541 --> 00:19:13,833
Pfeffernuss!
412
00:19:13,916 --> 00:19:15,083
- And that is...?
- Want a cookie?
413
00:19:15,166 --> 00:19:16,541
- Erin.
- Thank you.
414
00:19:16,625 --> 00:19:18,083
She was
very into conspiracy theories.
415
00:19:18,166 --> 00:19:19,416
Yeah, awesome.
416
00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:21,375
-Oh.
-Thanks.
417
00:19:21,458 --> 00:19:22,750
-Who can blame her?
-Mmm.
418
00:19:22,833 --> 00:19:24,833
I mean, obviously Taylor,
419
00:19:24,916 --> 00:19:26,666
who apparently broke up with her.
420
00:19:28,416 --> 00:19:29,625
Doug.
421
00:19:31,916 --> 00:19:33,333
- Hey, hon?
- Hey.
422
00:19:33,416 --> 00:19:35,916
Do you know where
the fire huffer-puffy thing is?
423
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,916
Oh, yeah. It's, uh, in the big basket
behind the chair.
424
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,000
Oh, great.
425
00:19:39,083 --> 00:19:40,583
Ah, there it is.
426
00:19:40,666 --> 00:19:42,250
All right. Hey, Doug.
427
00:19:42,333 --> 00:19:43,500
Hey, Nick.
428
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:45,166
Got the TV working, huh?
429
00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:46,500
Oh, wow.
430
00:19:46,583 --> 00:19:47,666
What's going on up there?
431
00:19:47,750 --> 00:19:50,625
You guys, uh, watching anything
you like these days?
432
00:19:50,708 --> 00:19:54,291
Yeah, I only watch PBS documentaries.
I don't watch regular TV.
433
00:19:54,375 --> 00:19:56,000
It's all junk.
434
00:19:56,083 --> 00:19:58,583
That's why I love the LBJ documentary
that PBS did.
435
00:19:58,666 --> 00:20:01,125
-Uh-huh.
-I mean, it's 18 hours.
436
00:20:01,208 --> 00:20:02,125
-Whoa!
-Hey, guys.
437
00:20:02,208 --> 00:20:04,041
-Hey. Whoa.
-Here they go. All right!
438
00:20:04,125 --> 00:20:06,125
- Hey, dinner's almost ready.
- Get over here.
439
00:20:06,208 --> 00:20:07,416
Twenty minutes.
440
00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:09,333
-Twenty minutes? Honey, we're starving.
-Aw, Mom, come on.
441
00:20:09,416 --> 00:20:11,708
Okay, ten. Ten.
442
00:20:11,791 --> 00:20:14,291
Sammy, play a little Christmas tune
while we wait.
443
00:20:14,375 --> 00:20:16,875
A little holiday cheer.
444
00:20:16,958 --> 00:20:18,416
- Yeah, Sammy.
- Liven things up a bit.
445
00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:19,625
- Yeah, Sam.
- Yes.
446
00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:24,375
See, this why you guys got to learn
an instrument later.
447
00:20:24,458 --> 00:20:25,666
-I know.
-So you can do this.
448
00:20:25,750 --> 00:20:26,750
Bring joy and mirth.
449
00:20:26,833 --> 00:20:27,875
-You guys ready?
-All right.
450
00:20:27,958 --> 00:20:28,958
-Yeah!
-Whoo!
451
00:20:29,041 --> 00:20:30,000
-Let's go!
-Come on.
452
00:20:30,083 --> 00:20:31,416
Do it!
453
00:20:49,625 --> 00:20:52,458
♪ On the first day ♪
454
00:20:52,541 --> 00:20:54,833
♪ of Christmas ♪
455
00:20:54,916 --> 00:20:59,125
♪ my true love gave to me ♪
456
00:21:00,208 --> 00:21:02,916
♪ a partridge ♪
457
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:06,166
♪ in a pear tree ♪
458
00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:13,875
♪ On the second day of Christmas ♪
459
00:21:13,958 --> 00:21:18,916
♪ my true love gave to me ♪
460
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:23,041
♪ two turtledoves ♪
461
00:21:23,125 --> 00:21:26,083
♪ and a partridge ♪
462
00:21:26,166 --> 00:21:30,333
♪ a partridge, a partridge ♪
463
00:21:30,416 --> 00:21:35,083
♪ I never said I wanted a partridge ♪
464
00:21:35,166 --> 00:21:39,041
♪ in a pear tree ♪
465
00:21:39,125 --> 00:21:42,458
♪ No-o-o-o-o-o-o ♪
466
00:21:42,541 --> 00:21:44,541
-♪ In a pear-- ♪
-Dinner's ready!
467
00:21:44,625 --> 00:21:46,125
Hey! Come on, guys!
468
00:21:46,208 --> 00:21:47,208
- Yay!
- Wow.
469
00:21:47,291 --> 00:21:49,291
You know how Mom gets
right after she calls us.
470
00:21:49,375 --> 00:21:50,875
- Really good.
- Good job, son.
471
00:21:50,958 --> 00:21:52,875
- Come on, guys.
- Come on, Samster.
472
00:21:52,958 --> 00:21:55,583
- Last one's a rotten egg.
- ♪ Partridge ♪♪
473
00:21:57,250 --> 00:21:59,250
Don't you guys want to hear
the whole song?
474
00:22:17,750 --> 00:22:19,875
I would like to make a toast.
475
00:22:19,958 --> 00:22:21,958
Ooh, a toast.
476
00:22:22,041 --> 00:22:23,916
- Claire?
- Mom, s-sit down for the toast.
477
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,208
- Honey.
- G-Get a glass of wine.
478
00:22:25,291 --> 00:22:26,666
- Get some wine.
- Claire, sit. Sit, honey.
479
00:22:26,750 --> 00:22:27,791
-Mom, sit next to me.
-Come on, sit down for a minute.
480
00:22:27,875 --> 00:22:29,125
- Come on. Sit.
- All right,
481
00:22:29,208 --> 00:22:30,250
-but only for a minute.
-Sit. Okay.
482
00:22:30,333 --> 00:22:33,708
- Okay. Yeah.
- Everybody have, um, something?
483
00:22:33,791 --> 00:22:35,708
- Kids, you can use water.
- Did you get my messages?
484
00:22:35,791 --> 00:22:38,000
- All righty.
- Oh, thank you so much, Doug.
485
00:22:38,083 --> 00:22:39,208
Claire, honey?
486
00:22:39,291 --> 00:22:41,625
-The ones, um, you know, about Zazzy.
-What?
487
00:22:41,708 --> 00:22:42,916
Claire.
488
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,208
-Yeah, probably. I don't know.
-Honey, are you paying attention?
489
00:22:45,291 --> 00:22:46,458
Oh.
490
00:22:46,541 --> 00:22:47,583
Ready?
491
00:22:49,166 --> 00:22:52,541
- Mm-hmm.
- I would like to make a toast
492
00:22:52,625 --> 00:22:55,375
to a very special person...
493
00:22:55,458 --> 00:22:57,000
- Mm.
- ...somebody that I think is
494
00:22:57,083 --> 00:23:00,500
the heart and soul of this operation,
495
00:23:00,583 --> 00:23:05,958
and somebody that I think embodies
the true spirit of Christmas.
496
00:23:07,333 --> 00:23:10,208
Somebody that I really believe...
497
00:23:10,291 --> 00:23:11,625
-Here we go.
-Where is he going?
498
00:23:11,708 --> 00:23:12,875
...maintains the Christmas spirit.
499
00:23:12,958 --> 00:23:14,041
-Dad!
-Uh-oh.
500
00:23:14,125 --> 00:23:15,541
Somebody who just
gives and gives...
501
00:23:15,625 --> 00:23:16,916
- Dad, why'd you leave the room?
- ...selflessly.
502
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:19,541
Some people might call
this person a saint.
503
00:23:19,625 --> 00:23:21,375
- What are you up to?
- And I'd agree 'cause
504
00:23:21,458 --> 00:23:23,541
- it's Santa Claus!
- Yay!
505
00:23:23,625 --> 00:23:26,916
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! Ho, ho!
506
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:28,875
- Santa Claus!
- Merry Christmas, everybody!
507
00:23:28,958 --> 00:23:31,750
- Dad. What the heck?
- Ho, ho, ho!
508
00:23:31,833 --> 00:23:33,458
- Merry Christmas!
- That is so good!
509
00:23:33,541 --> 00:23:36,166
Ho, ho, ho!
510
00:23:36,250 --> 00:23:37,958
-Ho, ho, ho. There we go.
-Cheers.
511
00:23:38,041 --> 00:23:40,208
- Cheers to Kris Kringle.
- Cheers to Kris Kringle!
512
00:23:40,291 --> 00:23:41,416
Kris Kringle!
513
00:23:41,500 --> 00:23:42,833
-Cheers!
-Okay.
514
00:23:42,916 --> 00:23:45,958
To Santa Claus, everybody.
515
00:23:46,041 --> 00:23:51,500
I'm sorry, but why does
Saint Nick get all the credit?
516
00:23:52,375 --> 00:23:55,458
The elves make toys in their workshop...
517
00:23:55,541 --> 00:23:58,125
...and the reindeers pull the sleigh.
518
00:23:58,208 --> 00:24:02,166
And nobody mentions what Mrs. Claus does.
519
00:24:02,250 --> 00:24:04,041
I told her I was a shutterbug.
520
00:24:04,125 --> 00:24:06,416
What am I, from the 1930s or something?
521
00:24:06,500 --> 00:24:09,416
It's like I forget how to have
a normal human conversation with her.
522
00:24:09,500 --> 00:24:11,708
It's like-- She's really cool.
523
00:24:11,791 --> 00:24:15,000
And intimidating, and I just-- sometimes
I just think that she doesn't like me.
524
00:24:15,083 --> 00:24:17,000
She's not that cool.
525
00:24:17,083 --> 00:24:18,375
I mean, guess who didn't order
526
00:24:18,458 --> 00:24:20,333
Mom's Cheese of the Month Club
Christmas present.
527
00:24:20,416 --> 00:24:23,041
- No.
- She can't be trusted.
528
00:24:23,125 --> 00:24:24,291
So where's the cheese?
529
00:24:24,375 --> 00:24:26,250
No cheese.
530
00:24:33,083 --> 00:24:37,250
George Washington:
The Legacy, a 40-hour PBS series
531
00:24:37,333 --> 00:24:40,750
where we will explore the mysteries
of the Founding Father.
532
00:24:40,833 --> 00:24:42,208
Were his teeth really wooden--
533
00:24:42,291 --> 00:24:44,083
...American made--
534
00:24:45,083 --> 00:24:46,500
How could you?
535
00:24:48,916 --> 00:24:51,125
No, no, no, no. Not with him.
536
00:24:51,208 --> 00:24:54,208
Look, I mean, it's really nice that
she bought the tickets and everything,
537
00:24:54,291 --> 00:24:56,625
but she didn't even ask.
538
00:24:56,708 --> 00:24:58,875
The moves these dancers do,
539
00:24:58,958 --> 00:25:01,250
it's not really suitable for young kids.
540
00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:04,291
There's a...
there's a lot of pelvic action.
541
00:25:05,541 --> 00:25:06,750
Yeah.
542
00:25:06,833 --> 00:25:10,541
I mean, should I, should I say
we don't want to go?
543
00:25:17,125 --> 00:25:20,041
I-I don't know if I'd...
I'd want to say that.
544
00:25:27,750 --> 00:25:29,583
Beddy-bye.
545
00:25:29,666 --> 00:25:31,250
- Let's get in!
- Oh!
546
00:25:31,333 --> 00:25:32,458
Oh! Oh, my God.
547
00:25:32,541 --> 00:25:34,250
Doug? You okay?
548
00:25:41,500 --> 00:25:43,625
Sneaky Pete's not creepy.
549
00:25:43,708 --> 00:25:44,958
Not at all.
550
00:25:45,041 --> 00:25:48,000
Barnaby is way creepier.
551
00:25:48,083 --> 00:25:50,958
It's like the name of a serial killer.
552
00:25:51,041 --> 00:25:52,291
Barnaby.
553
00:25:52,375 --> 00:25:55,833
"My name's Barnaby,
and I'm...
554
00:25:55,916 --> 00:25:58,791
gonna kill you."
555
00:25:58,875 --> 00:26:01,875
"My name's Barnaby..."
556
00:26:03,375 --> 00:26:04,833
That's scary as heck.
557
00:26:04,916 --> 00:26:07,333
"Barnaby..."
558
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:50,916
The one thing
I really wanted for Christmas.
559
00:26:53,250 --> 00:26:56,833
And I couldn't even get it for myself.
560
00:27:01,291 --> 00:27:03,583
♪ Frosty the Snowman ♪
561
00:27:03,666 --> 00:27:06,833
♪ Was a jolly, happy soul ♪
562
00:27:06,916 --> 00:27:10,458
♪ With a corncob pipe and a button nose ♪
563
00:27:10,541 --> 00:27:13,583
♪ and two eyes made out of coal ♪
564
00:27:13,666 --> 00:27:18,583
♪ Oh, Frosty the Snowman
is a fairy tale, they say...
565
00:27:18,666 --> 00:27:20,583
Psst.
566
00:27:20,666 --> 00:27:22,416
Nick, are you up?
567
00:27:22,500 --> 00:27:23,916
Psst.
568
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:26,500
Nick. Psst.
569
00:27:26,583 --> 00:27:28,291
Are you up?
570
00:27:30,416 --> 00:27:31,583
Hi, honey.
571
00:27:31,666 --> 00:27:34,541
You're awake.
I wasn't sure if you were awake.
572
00:27:35,625 --> 00:27:36,875
Yeah.
573
00:27:39,750 --> 00:27:41,250
It's Christmas Eve.
574
00:27:44,375 --> 00:27:46,208
Can you believe it?
575
00:27:47,666 --> 00:27:49,416
Okay.
576
00:27:49,500 --> 00:27:51,250
Everything okay?
577
00:27:52,708 --> 00:27:54,333
No.
578
00:27:56,083 --> 00:27:57,708
I'm pouting.
579
00:27:59,625 --> 00:28:01,666
We missed the deadline.
580
00:28:01,750 --> 00:28:04,083
-To the Zazzy contest.
-Oh.
581
00:28:04,166 --> 00:28:05,958
Poof.
582
00:28:06,041 --> 00:28:08,291
-Gone.
-Oh, hon, I'm sorry.
583
00:28:09,791 --> 00:28:11,000
I wouldn't take it personally.
584
00:28:11,083 --> 00:28:13,000
I mean, they're our kids.
585
00:28:13,083 --> 00:28:14,583
You've met 'em, right?
586
00:28:16,250 --> 00:28:18,458
I really wanted that trip.
587
00:28:19,541 --> 00:28:21,416
I deserved that trip.
588
00:28:22,916 --> 00:28:24,541
I know, honey. I'm sorry.
589
00:28:24,625 --> 00:28:27,041
You know what?
590
00:28:27,125 --> 00:28:29,541
I'll take you on a trip.
591
00:28:29,625 --> 00:28:32,041
Okay? I'll take you...
592
00:28:32,125 --> 00:28:36,125
take you on a trip someplace like
we've never been before, you know?
593
00:28:36,208 --> 00:28:38,333
Like, Florence. Florence, Italy.
594
00:28:38,416 --> 00:28:43,166
He's so sweet,
but it didn't make me feel any better.
595
00:28:43,250 --> 00:28:44,708
I'll tell you another place we could go.
596
00:28:44,791 --> 00:28:46,791
Boston, like, where we first met.
597
00:28:46,875 --> 00:28:49,208
Like, Fenway. Fenway Park.
You never went there, honey.
598
00:28:49,291 --> 00:28:51,083
No, no. Not for baseball.
599
00:28:51,166 --> 00:28:52,875
Honey, they have concerts there.
600
00:28:54,041 --> 00:28:55,666
The Doobie Brothers are playing there
this summer.
601
00:29:01,208 --> 00:29:02,291
See ya, Channing.
602
00:29:02,375 --> 00:29:04,000
- Hey.
- Hold up.
603
00:29:04,083 --> 00:29:06,416
Hold up.
Remember, we need to leave the house
604
00:29:06,500 --> 00:29:08,458
by noon at the latest
if we're gonna make it
605
00:29:08,541 --> 00:29:10,125
-to the dance show on time.
-Okey dokey.
606
00:29:10,208 --> 00:29:11,750
Morning.
607
00:29:11,833 --> 00:29:13,041
Hey.
608
00:29:24,833 --> 00:29:26,041
You like this sweater?
609
00:29:27,125 --> 00:29:28,833
-Mm-hmm.
-It look okay on me?
610
00:29:28,916 --> 00:29:31,250
-Yeah. Yeah.
-What are you working on?
611
00:29:32,750 --> 00:29:37,208
On my book that I am writing
that I get paid for.
612
00:29:37,291 --> 00:29:40,083
Gosh, don't you ever get a break?
613
00:29:40,166 --> 00:29:43,833
Surely your book people know
it's Christmas.
614
00:29:45,583 --> 00:29:48,166
Damn it. The "little something."
615
00:30:02,791 --> 00:30:05,916
-Hi, Jeanne.
-Good morning, Claire.
616
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:07,166
Happy Christmas Eve.
617
00:30:07,250 --> 00:30:09,375
Happy Christmas Eve to you.
618
00:30:09,458 --> 00:30:14,125
I was out on my walk, and I figured I'd
swing by and bring you a little something.
619
00:30:14,208 --> 00:30:16,083
Thank you, Jeanne, and I have
620
00:30:16,166 --> 00:30:17,583
a little something for you.
621
00:30:17,666 --> 00:30:19,708
Oh.
622
00:30:19,791 --> 00:30:22,041
-You go first.
-No, you go first.
623
00:30:22,125 --> 00:30:24,375
You go first. I insist.
624
00:30:24,458 --> 00:30:25,708
Hi, Jeanne.
625
00:30:25,791 --> 00:30:27,541
Hi, Channing.
626
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:36,916
Oh.
627
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:40,041
-It's a...?
-Monochrome candle.
628
00:30:40,125 --> 00:30:42,000
That's what they're called.
629
00:30:42,083 --> 00:30:43,333
Isn't it beautiful?
630
00:30:43,416 --> 00:30:44,458
Smell it.
631
00:30:44,541 --> 00:30:45,916
That's right.
632
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:47,666
Breathe in the dusk.
633
00:30:47,750 --> 00:30:51,791
Wow, it's lovely, and so many wicks.
634
00:30:51,875 --> 00:30:54,708
I guess now
I'll open your "little something."
635
00:30:54,791 --> 00:30:56,333
Wait. Stop.
636
00:30:56,416 --> 00:31:00,458
I just realized, um, that's not yours.
637
00:31:00,541 --> 00:31:01,625
It has my name on it.
638
00:31:01,708 --> 00:31:05,625
Uh, yeah, I have two friends named Jeanne,
and this is for the other one.
639
00:31:05,708 --> 00:31:07,583
Mom, you-you just showed me--
640
00:31:11,125 --> 00:31:13,208
And if it's okay with you,
641
00:31:13,291 --> 00:31:18,416
I'll just swing by a little later
and give you your "little something."
642
00:31:18,500 --> 00:31:19,666
Okay.
643
00:31:19,750 --> 00:31:21,250
Okay. Okay. See you soon. Bye, now.
644
00:31:21,333 --> 00:31:23,791
-Blessings! Blessings!
-Blessings. Blessings.
645
00:31:25,958 --> 00:31:27,083
Oh, that was close.
646
00:31:27,166 --> 00:31:28,250
What was that?
647
00:31:28,333 --> 00:31:30,875
You have a gift for Jeanne.
You made me stick my nose in it.
648
00:31:31,625 --> 00:31:34,500
I got her a one-wick candle.
649
00:31:35,666 --> 00:31:39,416
You can't give someone a one-wick candle
who got you a three-wick candle.
650
00:31:39,500 --> 00:31:41,750
-It's logic.
-Mom, I think it's fine.
651
00:31:41,833 --> 00:31:43,208
No, no.
652
00:31:43,291 --> 00:31:44,666
Get dressed. We're going to the mall.
653
00:31:44,750 --> 00:31:47,250
The-the mall on Christmas Eve?
654
00:31:47,333 --> 00:31:49,500
W-Well, what about the show?
655
00:31:49,583 --> 00:31:52,083
-The twins are so excited.
-We'll be quick.
656
00:31:52,166 --> 00:31:54,250
Come on. It'll be...
657
00:31:54,333 --> 00:31:55,750
-Fun.
-Mm.
658
00:32:02,750 --> 00:32:04,583
Hi there. Welcome to Crate & Barrel.
659
00:32:04,666 --> 00:32:09,083
Hi. Do you have any candles
with more than three wicks?
660
00:32:09,166 --> 00:32:11,416
More than three? It has to be more?
661
00:32:11,500 --> 00:32:12,500
Yes, of course.
662
00:32:12,583 --> 00:32:14,916
-Well, candles are over there...
-Okay.
663
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:19,208
...right by the potpourri.
664
00:32:19,291 --> 00:32:20,583
Sorry.
665
00:32:20,666 --> 00:32:22,333
Oh.
666
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,541
- All right, good point.
- Sorry.
667
00:32:27,625 --> 00:32:30,708
We're going to tighten
these one-eighth-inch screws,
668
00:32:30,791 --> 00:32:33,333
then fit together the brace brackets...
669
00:32:33,416 --> 00:32:35,291
-Okay, I'm trying.
-...with the eyelets,
670
00:32:35,375 --> 00:32:38,750
grommets, rivets, set spacers
and mini hex spacers.
671
00:32:38,833 --> 00:32:40,041
You know what I'm talking about.
672
00:32:40,125 --> 00:32:41,250
Easy stuff.
673
00:32:41,333 --> 00:32:45,208
Then we're going to tighten
the plastic lattice panel.
674
00:32:45,291 --> 00:32:48,833
You should see that
you have installed all 13 posts.
675
00:32:48,916 --> 00:32:50,750
Congratulations to you on that one.
676
00:32:50,833 --> 00:32:53,458
Uh, now, in the next 27 steps...
677
00:32:55,750 --> 00:32:57,541
Hey, sleepyhead.
678
00:32:57,625 --> 00:32:59,750
How's it going?
Everything cool? What's up?
679
00:32:59,833 --> 00:33:01,666
Oh, man,
I'm still kind of waking up.
680
00:33:01,750 --> 00:33:02,833
Yeah.
681
00:33:02,916 --> 00:33:04,750
Hey, where is everybody?
682
00:33:04,833 --> 00:33:08,000
Uh, Channing and your mom went
to the mall, Nick's in the garage,
683
00:33:08,083 --> 00:33:11,208
and Sammy and DJ Sweatpants
went to play tennis.
684
00:33:11,291 --> 00:33:14,916
I'm just here working on
my world-famous pecan crunch.
685
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:16,083
That's weird.
686
00:33:16,166 --> 00:33:18,041
Tenn-- They don't even play tennis.
687
00:33:24,791 --> 00:33:28,083
I, um... was curious.
688
00:33:28,166 --> 00:33:33,375
When did you know that you were
going to make your life about hairstyling?
689
00:33:33,458 --> 00:33:34,958
How did you know that hairstyling--
690
00:33:35,041 --> 00:33:37,208
Oh, you know, it's so crazy.
691
00:33:38,291 --> 00:33:41,000
Uh, I-I got to go outside,
692
00:33:41,083 --> 00:33:47,083
because I usually do my morning meditation
and my sun salutations,
693
00:33:47,166 --> 00:33:48,916
but we'll-we'll catch up.
694
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:50,708
- I'll see ya.
- Okay.
695
00:33:54,291 --> 00:33:55,583
Okay.
696
00:33:55,666 --> 00:33:57,833
-Guys.
-Hey, we get here on time?
697
00:33:57,916 --> 00:33:59,166
-Thanks for coming, man.
-Yep.
698
00:33:59,250 --> 00:34:00,708
Merry Christmas.
699
00:34:00,791 --> 00:34:01,875
Hey, boss.
700
00:34:01,958 --> 00:34:04,583
-Take a look at this.
-What you got?
701
00:34:04,666 --> 00:34:06,875
Believe this?
702
00:34:06,958 --> 00:34:08,500
All day.
703
00:34:08,583 --> 00:34:11,166
All day I been looking at this thing.
704
00:34:12,250 --> 00:34:14,583
Seven thousand million pieces.
705
00:34:14,666 --> 00:34:16,166
We got you.
706
00:34:16,250 --> 00:34:17,875
I need part BP-01.
707
00:34:17,958 --> 00:34:19,291
BP-01.
708
00:34:19,375 --> 00:34:20,333
It's insanity.
709
00:34:20,416 --> 00:34:22,291
What are these,
and why are there so many of them?
710
00:34:22,375 --> 00:34:24,041
-The specs have to be off.
-Will you please--
711
00:34:24,125 --> 00:34:25,333
If we just put the stickers on it--
712
00:34:25,416 --> 00:34:27,625
Like that's gonna solve everything?
Putting stickers on everything?
713
00:34:27,708 --> 00:34:28,708
What is this slide?
714
00:34:28,791 --> 00:34:30,791
The slide goes from one room to the other
right there.
715
00:34:30,875 --> 00:34:32,750
-That's how they slide into the pool.
-Yeah.
716
00:34:41,541 --> 00:34:43,416
- Hey, honey.
- Hi.
717
00:34:43,500 --> 00:34:44,833
-How's it going?
-Good.
718
00:34:44,916 --> 00:34:45,916
-The kids?
-Huh?
719
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:47,000
Are-are the kids okay?
720
00:34:47,083 --> 00:34:49,083
They're just doing kid stuff
and hanging out.
721
00:34:49,166 --> 00:34:52,708
-Great.
-Uh, and I'm just sort of sitting here,
722
00:34:52,791 --> 00:34:57,666
you know, cooking the pecans and
just bombing with your sister as-as usual.
723
00:34:57,750 --> 00:35:01,125
Mom's driving me crazy,
and it's only the second day.
724
00:35:01,208 --> 00:35:04,041
-Mm.
-I can't keep doing this much longer.
725
00:35:04,125 --> 00:35:08,291
I think we really need to have the talk.
726
00:35:08,375 --> 00:35:10,750
It is up to me to break the cycle.
727
00:35:10,833 --> 00:35:11,833
Whoa.
728
00:35:11,916 --> 00:35:15,708
I know.
It's... it's scary, but I have to do it.
729
00:35:15,791 --> 00:35:17,666
-Okay, bye.
-Bye, hon.
730
00:35:20,250 --> 00:35:24,000
When the cat's away, the mice will play.
731
00:35:36,583 --> 00:35:38,083
Get inside.
732
00:35:40,500 --> 00:35:42,041
-And look at this one.
-Oh, my God.
733
00:35:57,916 --> 00:35:59,458
- We'll just go upstairs.
- Yeah.
734
00:36:00,541 --> 00:36:02,625
-It looks amazing.
-Yeah.
735
00:36:02,708 --> 00:36:04,625
So, when are you gonna tell Donna?
736
00:36:04,708 --> 00:36:06,416
I don't know.
737
00:36:06,500 --> 00:36:08,125
I got to figure out
how I'm gonna tell her.
738
00:36:14,500 --> 00:36:15,708
Hey.
739
00:36:17,583 --> 00:36:18,750
Hey, Mom.
740
00:36:18,833 --> 00:36:20,250
Hmm?
741
00:36:20,333 --> 00:36:23,833
There's, um, there's something
I've been wanting to talk to you about.
742
00:36:23,916 --> 00:36:26,083
Uh-huh? What's that?
743
00:36:26,166 --> 00:36:31,041
Well, Doug and I were thinking--
rather, I was thinking:
744
00:36:31,125 --> 00:36:34,541
What if, next year, we did something else?
745
00:36:34,625 --> 00:36:36,708
What-What's that mean? "Something else"?
746
00:36:36,791 --> 00:36:38,500
I'm not following.
747
00:36:38,583 --> 00:36:41,166
What if we didn't come home
for Christmas next year?
748
00:36:41,250 --> 00:36:43,375
What if we did our own thing?
749
00:36:43,458 --> 00:36:44,416
Like skiing.
750
00:36:44,500 --> 00:36:45,875
Skiing?
751
00:36:45,958 --> 00:36:48,291
-You don't ski.
-That's my point.
752
00:36:48,375 --> 00:36:51,291
I mean, we don't have to do
the same exact thing till we die.
753
00:36:51,375 --> 00:36:54,083
It's a lot having us all home
for the holidays.
754
00:36:54,166 --> 00:36:57,875
It might be easier on you if-if
you didn't have all this to worry about.
755
00:36:57,958 --> 00:37:00,083
Oh, I see.
756
00:37:00,166 --> 00:37:01,750
So, you're doing us a favor.
757
00:37:01,833 --> 00:37:06,250
Right, and the nice part is everyone can
do something they actually want to do.
758
00:37:07,333 --> 00:37:11,333
I mean, Sammy is always saying he thinks
Christmas is just a corporate holiday,
759
00:37:11,416 --> 00:37:16,291
and-and Taylor, well, I assume
these women she dates have families, too,
760
00:37:16,375 --> 00:37:18,666
and you and Dad could enjoy
some quiet time.
761
00:37:18,750 --> 00:37:20,458
-Yeah.
-Just the two of you.
762
00:37:20,541 --> 00:37:22,250
What do you think?
763
00:37:22,333 --> 00:37:23,333
Hmm.
764
00:37:23,416 --> 00:37:26,333
I figured she'd already put down
the deposit on the old folks' home.
765
00:37:26,416 --> 00:37:28,291
-Sound nice?
-You know what I think?
766
00:37:29,375 --> 00:37:31,541
I think we'd better
get looking for that candle.
767
00:37:32,833 --> 00:37:34,291
Okay.
768
00:37:34,375 --> 00:37:36,000
Find the candle.
769
00:37:37,666 --> 00:37:40,833
I think I might be one of those people
that peaked in the fourth grade.
770
00:37:40,916 --> 00:37:44,083
Like, after the fourth grade,
I just stopped being cool.
771
00:37:44,166 --> 00:37:46,083
Feel like a Fruit Roll-Up.
772
00:37:46,166 --> 00:37:47,958
Honestly, Sammy,
you just need to be true to yourself.
773
00:37:48,041 --> 00:37:49,083
You'll be fine.
774
00:37:49,166 --> 00:37:52,000
Yeah. That's good advice.
775
00:37:53,083 --> 00:37:55,541
Isn't that one of those neighbors
from across the street?
776
00:37:57,125 --> 00:37:58,541
Yeah, it's one of Jeanne's kids.
777
00:37:59,500 --> 00:38:01,416
Her name's Elizabeth.
778
00:38:01,500 --> 00:38:03,875
We went to school together, like, forever.
779
00:38:03,958 --> 00:38:06,333
- She's cute.
- Oh, yeah.
780
00:38:06,416 --> 00:38:10,041
Plus she was, like, the best hurdler
in the state of Texas our senior year.
781
00:38:10,125 --> 00:38:12,625
And class president.
782
00:38:12,708 --> 00:38:14,875
She's basically perfect.
783
00:38:16,500 --> 00:38:18,166
So what about asking her out?
784
00:38:18,250 --> 00:38:19,333
Get back in the game.
785
00:38:21,375 --> 00:38:23,041
Elizabeth Wang-Wasserman?
786
00:38:23,125 --> 00:38:25,541
That's hilarious.
787
00:38:25,625 --> 00:38:27,625
I doubt she even remembers my name.
788
00:38:28,708 --> 00:38:30,458
Hi, Sammy.
789
00:38:32,416 --> 00:38:33,625
Hey.
790
00:38:38,125 --> 00:38:39,541
Oh.
791
00:38:42,375 --> 00:38:43,458
Oh, my God.
792
00:38:43,541 --> 00:38:44,916
Look at that.
793
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:46,583
Careful.
794
00:38:46,666 --> 00:38:48,666
It's perfect.
795
00:38:50,750 --> 00:38:52,708
- Next guest.
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
796
00:38:52,791 --> 00:38:54,833
We are not waiting in that.
797
00:38:54,916 --> 00:38:57,208
Mom? Mom?
798
00:38:58,208 --> 00:38:59,458
Mom, you can't just take that.
799
00:38:59,541 --> 00:39:00,958
-Excuse me, ma'am!
-Mom, you can't take it.
800
00:39:01,041 --> 00:39:02,958
-You have to pay for that!
-Happy holidays!
801
00:39:03,041 --> 00:39:04,916
Ma'am, you have to pay for that!
802
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,958
- What are you doing out there?
- I was just outside there.
803
00:39:08,041 --> 00:39:09,958
Okay, go back to the kid stuff.
804
00:39:10,041 --> 00:39:12,208
See you later. Yeah.
805
00:39:12,291 --> 00:39:13,875
Just gonna go...
806
00:39:14,875 --> 00:39:16,250
This is illegal.
807
00:39:16,333 --> 00:39:18,208
I'll come back and pay for it later.
808
00:39:18,291 --> 00:39:21,666
Mom, you cannot give Jeanne Wang-Wasserman
stolen goods for Christmas.
809
00:39:23,750 --> 00:39:27,208
I-I don't want to alarm you,
but those two mall cops are following us.
810
00:39:27,291 --> 00:39:28,583
What do we do?
811
00:39:28,666 --> 00:39:29,625
Run.
812
00:39:29,708 --> 00:39:31,458
Ladies, halt!
813
00:39:48,375 --> 00:39:50,625
-Woo-hoo!
-All right, let's keep moving!
814
00:39:50,708 --> 00:39:52,541
Channing, grab my keys.
815
00:39:52,625 --> 00:39:53,666
-My keys.
-Where?
816
00:39:53,750 --> 00:39:56,250
They're in my bag.
Where else would they be?
817
00:39:56,333 --> 00:39:58,500
-I can't find them.
-Oh, my God, are you even looking?
818
00:39:58,583 --> 00:40:00,166
-Yeah, I'm looking.
-What is wrong with you kids?
819
00:40:00,250 --> 00:40:02,041
"Where's the peanut butter?"
"Where's my gym socks?"
820
00:40:02,125 --> 00:40:04,166
-How about right in front of your f--
-Found 'em.
821
00:40:08,625 --> 00:40:09,916
-Hi.
-Hi.
822
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,208
-How are you? Mm, brother-in-law.
-Okay.
823
00:40:12,291 --> 00:40:15,041
Uh, I'm gonna go to my room.
Merry Christmas.
824
00:40:15,125 --> 00:40:16,750
You, too.
825
00:40:29,250 --> 00:40:30,416
Oh, God!
826
00:40:33,083 --> 00:40:34,875
You want to party, lady?
827
00:40:34,958 --> 00:40:36,083
I'll party.
828
00:40:38,333 --> 00:40:40,791
Mom! Oh, my God!
829
00:40:40,875 --> 00:40:42,875
-Settle down.
-Mom.
830
00:40:42,958 --> 00:40:47,083
You're gonna mess with the eagle,
you got to learn how to fly.
831
00:40:52,125 --> 00:40:53,000
Mom!
832
00:40:53,791 --> 00:40:55,000
Mom!
833
00:41:03,791 --> 00:41:05,708
All units, all units.
834
00:41:05,791 --> 00:41:07,583
They're multiplying!
835
00:41:15,375 --> 00:41:17,416
The pecan crunch!
836
00:41:19,958 --> 00:41:21,375
No, no. No, no, no, no.
837
00:41:21,458 --> 00:41:23,625
Oh, God.
838
00:41:38,208 --> 00:41:39,833
Whew! That was close.
839
00:41:41,333 --> 00:41:44,166
Oh. Oh. Good. We're making great time.
840
00:41:44,250 --> 00:41:47,791
We'll just grab a little lunch
when we get home and head out to the show.
841
00:41:47,875 --> 00:41:49,416
Might even get there early.
842
00:41:50,416 --> 00:41:53,541
♪ It's my life ♪♪
843
00:41:53,625 --> 00:41:55,666
We're gonna be late for the dance show!
844
00:41:55,750 --> 00:41:58,416
Taylor! DJ Sweatpants!
845
00:41:58,500 --> 00:42:00,625
Hey, honey, what do you think?
Hat or no hat?
846
00:42:00,708 --> 00:42:02,708
-No hat, no hat, no hat.
-Honey, you haven't even seen it yet.
847
00:42:02,791 --> 00:42:03,875
Look, look.
848
00:42:03,958 --> 00:42:05,166
Kids, you go with your mom and dad,
849
00:42:05,250 --> 00:42:07,541
and, Taylor, DJ Sweatpants,
we'll go in your car.
850
00:42:07,625 --> 00:42:08,750
Okay, I'm gonna pull my car around.
851
00:42:08,833 --> 00:42:09,875
- Here, take these.
- Okay.
852
00:42:09,958 --> 00:42:11,333
-All right.
-In case we get separated.
853
00:42:11,416 --> 00:42:12,833
-Which car am I going in, Mom?
-Um, either one.
854
00:42:12,916 --> 00:42:14,875
Taylor, we're about ready to go!
855
00:42:14,958 --> 00:42:17,125
You don't want to get left behind!
856
00:42:17,208 --> 00:42:22,541
This could be the last Christmas
we all are together as a family, ever!
857
00:42:22,625 --> 00:42:24,208
What is going on with you?
Why would you say that?
858
00:42:24,291 --> 00:42:26,333
Now everyone's gonna think
you're dying or something.
859
00:42:26,416 --> 00:42:27,458
Oh, no!
860
00:42:27,541 --> 00:42:30,958
Did I just blurt out something
worrisome and alarming?
861
00:42:31,041 --> 00:42:33,250
Mom, we can just talk about it!
862
00:42:34,250 --> 00:42:35,416
I'm coming, I'm coming,
I'm coming, I'm coming!
863
00:42:35,500 --> 00:42:36,750
Nobody's seen my shoes?
864
00:42:36,833 --> 00:42:37,958
Taylor, where are my shoes?
865
00:42:41,958 --> 00:42:45,833
Mom, you cannot give Jeanne
Wang-Wasserman stolen goods for Christmas.
866
00:42:47,250 --> 00:42:49,000
Damn it.
867
00:42:49,083 --> 00:42:50,708
"A little something."
868
00:43:02,750 --> 00:43:06,250
Doug, how many...
how many tickets do you have?
869
00:43:06,333 --> 00:43:07,833
Doug, how many tickets do you have?
870
00:43:07,916 --> 00:43:09,333
I have one, two, three, four.
871
00:43:09,416 --> 00:43:10,541
-I have four.
-Okay. All right.
872
00:43:12,333 --> 00:43:13,500
No, I got five. I got five.
873
00:43:25,083 --> 00:43:26,375
We're leaving!
874
00:43:26,458 --> 00:43:28,333
- See you there!
- Bye! See ya!
875
00:43:28,416 --> 00:43:29,666
- Let's go.
- Bye!
876
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:32,916
Bye!
877
00:43:34,250 --> 00:43:35,958
Oh, hi. Claire.
878
00:43:36,041 --> 00:43:37,041
Hi, Jeanne.
879
00:43:37,125 --> 00:43:39,583
I just thought I'd pop by
and drop off your "little something."
880
00:43:39,666 --> 00:43:41,083
-Here you go.
-Oh.
881
00:43:41,166 --> 00:43:42,125
Wait.
882
00:43:42,208 --> 00:43:44,166
Aren't you gonna stay while I open it?
883
00:43:44,750 --> 00:43:45,791
Sure.
884
00:43:45,875 --> 00:43:47,208
Let's go, guys!
The first car already left!
885
00:43:47,291 --> 00:43:48,541
- We're gonna be late!
- Come on, guys.
886
00:43:48,625 --> 00:43:49,958
- Let's go, let's go. Come on.
- Ready.
887
00:43:50,041 --> 00:43:52,125
Ready, ready, ready, ready. Go.
888
00:43:52,208 --> 00:43:54,416
- I made it myself.
- Really?
889
00:43:54,500 --> 00:43:57,583
It looks just like
the kind they sell at the store.
890
00:43:57,666 --> 00:44:01,250
It seems like you just dumped some
out of a metal tin into this bag.
891
00:44:01,333 --> 00:44:04,333
No, I made it from scratch.
892
00:44:05,416 --> 00:44:06,875
From scratch, huh?
893
00:44:06,958 --> 00:44:09,625
Can you share the recipe with me?
894
00:44:09,708 --> 00:44:11,000
Sure.
895
00:44:11,083 --> 00:44:12,708
It's chocolate,
896
00:44:12,791 --> 00:44:16,291
and then you just crunch up
a shit ton of candy canes,
897
00:44:16,375 --> 00:44:20,416
and you shake it all up like you're making
shake and bake chicken.
898
00:44:20,500 --> 00:44:22,041
Then what?
899
00:44:22,125 --> 00:44:23,875
Then you eat it, Jeanne.
900
00:44:25,500 --> 00:44:27,291
Where is your family going?
901
00:44:57,416 --> 00:45:00,208
♪ Have yourself ♪
902
00:45:00,291 --> 00:45:06,333
♪ A merry little Christmas ♪
903
00:45:06,416 --> 00:45:11,041
♪ Let your heart be light ♪
904
00:45:13,125 --> 00:45:15,458
-Hello?
-♪ Next year ♪
905
00:45:15,541 --> 00:45:19,083
♪ all our troubles will be ♪
906
00:45:19,166 --> 00:45:22,541
-Hello?
-♪ out of sight ♪
907
00:45:24,125 --> 00:45:26,125
Anybody here?
908
00:45:29,291 --> 00:45:32,166
-Nick?
-♪ Have yourself ♪
909
00:45:32,250 --> 00:45:34,291
-Channing?
-♪ a merry ♪
910
00:45:34,375 --> 00:45:37,708
♪ little Christmas ♪
911
00:45:37,791 --> 00:45:41,333
♪ Make the yuletide gay ♪
912
00:45:44,166 --> 00:45:46,791
-♪ Next year ♪
-Channing, hey. Channing, over here!
913
00:45:46,875 --> 00:45:49,541
♪ all our troubles ♪
914
00:45:49,625 --> 00:45:53,083
♪ will be miles away ♪
915
00:45:59,750 --> 00:46:01,208
♪ Once again...
916
00:46:01,291 --> 00:46:02,958
Hey. Taylor.
917
00:46:03,041 --> 00:46:04,250
Where's Mom?
918
00:46:04,333 --> 00:46:05,375
Huh?
919
00:46:05,458 --> 00:46:06,541
Where is Mom?
920
00:46:06,625 --> 00:46:08,416
What?
921
00:46:10,791 --> 00:46:12,208
Forget it. I see her.
922
00:46:13,291 --> 00:46:18,166
♪ Faithful friends who are dear to us ♪
923
00:46:18,250 --> 00:46:24,833
♪ will be near to us once more ♪
924
00:46:29,166 --> 00:46:30,750
Mom?
925
00:46:34,291 --> 00:46:36,291
Mom, I'm...
926
00:46:36,375 --> 00:46:38,583
I'm sorry about what I said before.
927
00:46:38,666 --> 00:46:41,916
I mean, not that I said it
but that I blurted it out like that.
928
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:43,333
I...
929
00:46:43,416 --> 00:46:46,625
I should've been more grown up about it
and asked to talk to you.
930
00:46:47,625 --> 00:46:49,958
It was inconsiderate, and I'm-I'm sorry.
931
00:46:53,458 --> 00:46:54,958
Oh.
932
00:46:55,041 --> 00:46:57,583
Sorry, lady.
I don't speak English.
933
00:46:58,291 --> 00:47:00,875
You're an odd woman.
934
00:47:01,291 --> 00:47:02,375
Right.
935
00:47:02,458 --> 00:47:03,666
Ladies
and gentlemen,
936
00:47:03,750 --> 00:47:05,833
-please welcome the So You're a Dancer...
-Okay. Okay.
937
00:47:05,916 --> 00:47:07,583
...Holiday Tour.
938
00:47:24,625 --> 00:47:26,458
Damn, Santa's jacked.
939
00:47:37,583 --> 00:47:38,958
Where's Mom?
940
00:47:39,041 --> 00:47:41,166
Uh, Taylor said
you were with her.
941
00:47:41,250 --> 00:47:42,541
No, it wasn't her.
942
00:47:42,625 --> 00:47:44,041
-Oh.
-Where is she?
943
00:47:44,125 --> 00:47:45,916
-I don't know. So--
-What do you mean you don't know?
944
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:48,000
Well, she was, she was in your car, right?
945
00:47:48,083 --> 00:47:49,750
-No, she went with you.
-She wasn't in my car.
946
00:47:49,833 --> 00:47:51,125
-She was in your car.
-No, she was with you.
947
00:47:51,208 --> 00:47:52,375
-Oh, my God.
-Dad, we lost Mom?
948
00:47:52,458 --> 00:47:54,166
-We got to go. We g--
-We got to go.
949
00:47:54,250 --> 00:47:55,291
Hey, guys, Sammy,
950
00:47:55,375 --> 00:47:56,833
-everybody, we got to go.
-Come on.
951
00:47:58,000 --> 00:47:59,875
-Taylor, Taylor.
-We got to go.
952
00:48:14,083 --> 00:48:15,541
Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up.
953
00:48:49,458 --> 00:48:51,791
-Claire?
-Mom?
954
00:48:51,875 --> 00:48:53,375
Honey?
955
00:48:53,458 --> 00:48:55,166
-Check the garage and downstairs, too.
-Mom?
956
00:48:55,250 --> 00:48:56,458
Mom?
957
00:48:56,541 --> 00:48:58,833
We got you a promotional tote bag!
958
00:48:58,916 --> 00:49:00,125
And a water bottle.
959
00:49:00,208 --> 00:49:01,833
Grandma?
960
00:49:01,916 --> 00:49:03,416
Anything? Anybody?
961
00:49:03,500 --> 00:49:04,500
Mom?
962
00:49:04,583 --> 00:49:06,208
I had nothing to do with it.
963
00:49:06,291 --> 00:49:08,083
Hell.
964
00:49:08,166 --> 00:49:09,583
Downstairs?
965
00:49:09,666 --> 00:49:12,416
No. And her... her car's gone.
966
00:49:21,916 --> 00:49:23,458
Thirty-five years of marriage,
967
00:49:23,541 --> 00:49:25,791
and I have never lost your mother,
not once.
968
00:49:25,875 --> 00:49:28,791
I'm not sure that's quite the triumph
that you think it is, Dad,
969
00:49:28,875 --> 00:49:31,208
but... congratulations.
970
00:49:31,291 --> 00:49:33,916
No need to lump us
into your sinking ship, Dad.
971
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:36,041
I mean, we're her kids.
She has to love us.
972
00:49:36,125 --> 00:49:37,458
Sammy's right.
973
00:49:37,541 --> 00:49:39,500
You're less of a sure thing.
974
00:49:39,583 --> 00:49:40,791
No offense.
975
00:49:40,875 --> 00:49:43,083
Give her a little bit of time
and she'll come back.
976
00:49:44,375 --> 00:49:47,083
Taylor's right.
She's making complete sense, okay?
977
00:49:47,166 --> 00:49:50,875
She's gonna come back, and when she does,
we will just admit we screwed up,
978
00:49:50,958 --> 00:49:53,708
say we're sorry, we'll own it,
and until that point,
979
00:49:53,791 --> 00:49:58,833
I want everybody to just suck it up
and act like adults.
980
00:49:58,916 --> 00:50:02,791
I'm in charge now, and
I just want rational thinking here, okay?
981
00:50:02,875 --> 00:50:06,041
Everybody, just stay cool, calm and--
982
00:50:06,125 --> 00:50:07,750
What the hell am I talking about?
983
00:50:07,833 --> 00:50:09,250
I can't do anything without your mother.
984
00:50:09,333 --> 00:50:10,291
-Dad?
-Oh, my God, what are we gonna do?
985
00:50:10,375 --> 00:50:11,541
-Oh, God.
-Dad.
986
00:50:11,625 --> 00:50:12,916
Is she gonna come back? Oh, my God.
987
00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:14,000
-All right.
-Dad?
988
00:50:14,083 --> 00:50:15,583
-Need some water?
-You okay?
-What am I gonna do without your mother?
989
00:50:15,666 --> 00:50:18,541
I'm lost without her.
What am I gonna do?
990
00:50:18,625 --> 00:50:21,041
♪ Communication is the problem ♪
991
00:50:21,125 --> 00:50:22,833
♪ To the answer ♪
992
00:50:22,916 --> 00:50:24,625
♪ You've got her number ♪
993
00:50:24,708 --> 00:50:27,666
♪ and your hand is on the phone ♪
994
00:50:27,750 --> 00:50:28,833
♪ The weather's turned ♪
995
00:50:28,916 --> 00:50:30,541
♪ and all the lines are down ♪
996
00:50:30,625 --> 00:50:35,000
♪ The things we do for love,
the things we do for love ♪
997
00:50:35,083 --> 00:50:38,125
♪ Like walking in the rain and the snow ♪
998
00:50:38,208 --> 00:50:39,833
♪ when there's nowhere to ♪♪
999
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:51,041
Okay, anybody got to pee?
1000
00:50:51,125 --> 00:50:53,083
Anybody got to pee? All right.
1001
00:50:53,166 --> 00:50:54,666
Okay, good.
1002
00:50:54,750 --> 00:50:56,750
Oh, it's cold! I need to pee.
1003
00:50:56,833 --> 00:50:58,625
Oh, golly gee.
1004
00:50:58,708 --> 00:51:00,833
So let me see
if I got this straight.
1005
00:51:00,916 --> 00:51:05,875
A grown woman got in her car,
with luggage, and drove away from you
1006
00:51:05,958 --> 00:51:09,083
after you forgot her
while going to an event she planned?
1007
00:51:09,166 --> 00:51:11,125
Yep, that's what happened.
1008
00:51:13,708 --> 00:51:15,125
Right. Look.
1009
00:51:15,208 --> 00:51:17,958
We see this a lot with moms
around the holidays.
1010
00:51:18,041 --> 00:51:20,000
Next time, try a head count.
1011
00:51:20,791 --> 00:51:23,833
You can give us another call
if she's not back by New Year's.
1012
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:28,541
Merry Christmas.
1013
00:51:28,625 --> 00:51:30,625
-Thank you.
-Bye.
1014
00:51:33,291 --> 00:51:35,791
♪ The winter's flaking,
snow is brushing...
1015
00:51:35,875 --> 00:51:38,208
So, I got in my car,
1016
00:51:38,291 --> 00:51:41,333
and now I'm here, sitting next to you,
1017
00:51:41,416 --> 00:51:44,416
drinking a very strong cup of coffee.
1018
00:51:46,125 --> 00:51:48,958
Being a parent is a wonderful gift, but--
1019
00:51:49,041 --> 00:51:51,708
Mm-hmm. But where's the gift receipt?
1020
00:51:51,791 --> 00:51:55,375
Excuse me, but I'd like to make
an exchange, please.
1021
00:51:58,125 --> 00:51:59,958
Nice chatting with you.
1022
00:52:01,583 --> 00:52:03,416
Hold on a second there.
1023
00:52:04,750 --> 00:52:06,666
-Take my coat.
-No. No, no, no.
1024
00:52:06,750 --> 00:52:08,000
-I couldn't do that.
-I insist.
1025
00:52:08,083 --> 00:52:10,875
My own mama would come back to life
just to hunt me down
1026
00:52:10,958 --> 00:52:15,333
if she knew I let you go out there
freezing like that, so...
1027
00:52:17,125 --> 00:52:18,458
Thank you.
1028
00:52:18,541 --> 00:52:20,291
My pleasure, ma'am.
1029
00:52:22,916 --> 00:52:25,500
I need to be worried about you?
1030
00:52:25,583 --> 00:52:27,416
Well, nobody else is.
1031
00:52:27,500 --> 00:52:29,750
Don't know why it ought to start with you.
1032
00:52:31,458 --> 00:52:36,041
Isn't there anyone
who knows what Christmas is all about?
1033
00:52:36,125 --> 00:52:39,791
Sure, Charlie Brown, I can tell you
what Christmas is all about.
1034
00:52:43,791 --> 00:52:44,791
What the hell is that?
1035
00:52:44,875 --> 00:52:48,416
The same thing we have
every Christmas Eve.
1036
00:52:48,500 --> 00:52:51,000
We're doing Christmas
the way Mom planned it.
1037
00:52:51,083 --> 00:52:53,750
-Okay?
-I followed the recipe that Mom wrote down
1038
00:52:53,833 --> 00:52:56,000
to the letter, so if there's a problem,
1039
00:52:56,083 --> 00:52:57,708
you should take it up with Mom...
1040
00:52:57,791 --> 00:52:59,166
...'cause it's her fault,
1041
00:52:59,250 --> 00:53:01,166
not mine.
1042
00:53:01,250 --> 00:53:02,541
Here we go again.
1043
00:53:02,625 --> 00:53:04,041
What's that supposed to mean?
1044
00:53:06,250 --> 00:53:10,041
Okay, uh... you try
to distance yourself from Mom
1045
00:53:10,125 --> 00:53:13,916
because your similarities to her trigger
a deep-seated sense of insecurity
1046
00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:17,166
inside of you
that you've obviously yet to confront.
1047
00:53:17,250 --> 00:53:19,500
First of all,
1048
00:53:19,583 --> 00:53:21,416
if we're psychoanalyzing now,
1049
00:53:21,500 --> 00:53:25,958
Taylor, you're a love addict
who abandons any shred of responsibility
1050
00:53:26,041 --> 00:53:27,875
every time you meet a new woman,
which is--
1051
00:53:27,958 --> 00:53:32,208
let me check my calendar--
oh, yeah, all the time.
1052
00:53:32,291 --> 00:53:34,833
Geez, Channing, don't you think
wrecking Christmas is enough for one year
1053
00:53:34,916 --> 00:53:36,333
without destroying love, too?
1054
00:53:36,416 --> 00:53:38,958
You think I screwed up Christmas?
1055
00:53:39,041 --> 00:53:40,416
Uh, yeah, kind of.
1056
00:53:40,500 --> 00:53:42,083
"Get your life together, Sammy."
1057
00:53:42,166 --> 00:53:43,666
"Apply to grad school, Sammy."
1058
00:53:43,750 --> 00:53:45,916
News flash: I got a mommy and a daddy.
1059
00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:48,125
I don't need you jammed up my butt
playing parent, too.
1060
00:53:48,208 --> 00:53:50,625
Well, I'm sorry, but somebody's
got to be honest with you,
1061
00:53:50,708 --> 00:53:52,416
'cause it's sure as hell not gonna be Mom.
1062
00:53:52,500 --> 00:53:55,583
Patting you on your head
and stuffing cinnamon buns in your face
1063
00:53:55,666 --> 00:53:58,875
and lying to you
about how perfect you are!
1064
00:53:58,958 --> 00:54:00,333
Are you gonna back me up here?
1065
00:54:00,416 --> 00:54:02,958
Channing's kind of right.
Mom babies you. It's-it's weird.
1066
00:54:03,041 --> 00:54:04,541
I see how it is.
1067
00:54:04,625 --> 00:54:06,166
Two against one, right? All right.
1068
00:54:06,250 --> 00:54:08,000
-You want to fight? Let's fight!
-Yeah, yeah!
1069
00:54:08,083 --> 00:54:09,083
-Bring it on!
-Come on.
1070
00:54:09,166 --> 00:54:10,208
Hey. Hey!
1071
00:54:10,291 --> 00:54:11,958
Mustard or ketchup?
1072
00:54:12,041 --> 00:54:13,791
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
Stop, stop, stop.
1073
00:54:13,875 --> 00:54:15,583
Everyone, stop.
1074
00:54:15,666 --> 00:54:18,541
-Take you anytime.
-Lighten up. It's been a long day, okay?
1075
00:54:18,625 --> 00:54:20,708
Let's, uh, all just take a deep breath...
1076
00:54:20,791 --> 00:54:23,666
...and go to our happy place, all right?
1077
00:54:23,750 --> 00:54:24,875
I-I'll go first.
1078
00:54:24,958 --> 00:54:26,708
I'm going to Corpus Christi.
1079
00:54:26,791 --> 00:54:28,458
Great tubing.
1080
00:54:28,541 --> 00:54:29,750
Feel better already.
1081
00:54:29,833 --> 00:54:31,375
Taylor, your turn.
1082
00:54:31,458 --> 00:54:33,250
Oh, my God! Doug!
1083
00:54:33,333 --> 00:54:34,416
Shut up!
1084
00:54:34,500 --> 00:54:36,750
Don't tell Doug to shut up!
1085
00:54:36,833 --> 00:54:38,208
No one cares what you have to say!
1086
00:54:41,208 --> 00:54:45,541
I try really hard to be your friend.
1087
00:54:45,625 --> 00:54:48,666
But no matter what I do,
it doesn't seem to be good enough,
1088
00:54:48,750 --> 00:54:50,291
and I don't understand
what the problem is.
1089
00:54:50,375 --> 00:54:52,083
You're boring.
1090
00:54:53,166 --> 00:54:54,875
I don't know if I'd say boring.
1091
00:54:54,958 --> 00:54:56,250
Maybe I'd say dry, but...
1092
00:54:56,333 --> 00:54:58,250
If "small talk" were a noun,
1093
00:54:58,333 --> 00:54:59,583
it'd be you.
1094
00:54:59,666 --> 00:55:01,541
- "Small talk" is a noun.
- We get it.
1095
00:55:01,625 --> 00:55:03,375
You write books now, so you think
you're smarter than all of us.
1096
00:55:03,458 --> 00:55:04,958
Well, guess what, Channing.
1097
00:55:05,041 --> 00:55:07,791
Your books are too long,
and some of your dialogue's wooden.
1098
00:55:07,875 --> 00:55:11,791
"Wah-wah," cries the man baby
whose girlfriend dumped him
1099
00:55:11,875 --> 00:55:14,166
'cause he's eternally stuck
at summer camp.
1100
00:55:14,250 --> 00:55:15,833
You leave
1101
00:55:15,916 --> 00:55:17,666
Camp Derryberry out of this!
1102
00:55:17,750 --> 00:55:20,125
Donna, Taylor had another woman
in her room today
1103
00:55:20,208 --> 00:55:22,041
while you were out
playing tennis with Sammy!
1104
00:55:22,125 --> 00:55:23,666
-I saw the whole thing!
-What?
1105
00:55:23,750 --> 00:55:25,166
- Is-is that true?
- Donna--
1106
00:55:25,250 --> 00:55:26,875
- Oh, my God, it is true.
- Yeah, I-I saw the whole thing.
1107
00:55:26,958 --> 00:55:28,333
-I did.
-No. What are you doing?
1108
00:55:28,416 --> 00:55:29,458
You're mean.
1109
00:55:29,541 --> 00:55:31,041
What do you mean
there was somebody in the room?
1110
00:55:31,125 --> 00:55:32,250
-We were gone for two hours.
-No, it's not--
1111
00:55:32,333 --> 00:55:33,791
-Donna, it's not how that happened.
-Oh, my God.
1112
00:55:33,875 --> 00:55:35,583
-Are you kidding?
-He's completely misconstruing it.
1113
00:55:35,666 --> 00:55:36,916
Listen, listen. Let me tell you.
1114
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:38,125
No, she's mean! She had a woman--
1115
00:55:38,208 --> 00:55:40,291
He wasn't in her business all the time--
1116
00:55:40,375 --> 00:55:42,875
All right! Hey!
1117
00:55:42,958 --> 00:55:44,333
Enough!
1118
00:55:44,416 --> 00:55:45,791
Everybody, be quiet.
1119
00:55:45,875 --> 00:55:49,208
Nobody utter another word.
1120
00:55:53,166 --> 00:55:55,666
You know what? Thank you, everyone.
1121
00:55:55,750 --> 00:55:56,958
This entire week has been
1122
00:55:57,041 --> 00:56:00,666
the most memorably mortifying experience
of my entire life.
1123
00:56:03,666 --> 00:56:07,833
Except her because she's a guest,
but nobody else utter a word.
1124
00:56:07,916 --> 00:56:10,375
God, no wonder you have no siblings.
1125
00:56:10,458 --> 00:56:11,500
Loser.
1126
00:56:11,583 --> 00:56:13,166
-Donna!
-That's not how it works.
1127
00:56:13,250 --> 00:56:14,458
You know what? Your mother's right.
1128
00:56:14,541 --> 00:56:17,083
You kids, you can't do anything right.
1129
00:56:17,166 --> 00:56:19,208
-I should've gone with her.
-Screw this.
1130
00:56:19,291 --> 00:56:23,708
I'm going to the bar, I'm getting drunk,
and I don't want to see any of you there!
1131
00:56:23,791 --> 00:56:25,291
Sammy, you can't go to the bar.
1132
00:56:25,375 --> 00:56:28,041
-It's-it's Christmas Eve.
-No, it's not.
1133
00:56:28,125 --> 00:56:31,375
It's just another Tuesday
without Mom here doing things for us.
1134
00:56:31,458 --> 00:56:32,500
Do you want a ride?
1135
00:56:32,583 --> 00:56:34,583
I got my bike.
1136
00:56:36,416 --> 00:56:37,916
Okay.
1137
00:56:44,791 --> 00:56:46,416
Ow. Damn it!
1138
00:56:46,500 --> 00:56:48,166
Come on.
1139
00:56:48,250 --> 00:56:49,458
Geez.
1140
00:56:52,583 --> 00:56:55,750
I was with my friend Geraldine,
who is straight.
1141
00:56:58,500 --> 00:57:01,083
She makes really great jewelry,
1142
00:57:01,166 --> 00:57:03,916
and I had her make you a ring.
1143
00:57:04,625 --> 00:57:07,166
And I was hoping...
1144
00:57:07,250 --> 00:57:10,250
I could propose to you with it.
1145
00:57:10,333 --> 00:57:11,833
What?
1146
00:57:20,916 --> 00:57:23,333
Come on, Donna, you can't listen to Doug.
1147
00:57:23,416 --> 00:57:24,500
Nobody listens to Doug.
1148
00:57:24,583 --> 00:57:27,875
He's like the weird family ghost
that hangs around and haunts us all.
1149
00:57:27,958 --> 00:57:31,958
But... it's only been like three months.
1150
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:35,541
I mean, how could you possibly know
how you feel--
1151
00:57:35,625 --> 00:57:40,708
I have a gut feeling about us,
a strong gut feeling.
1152
00:57:40,791 --> 00:57:43,208
Here I'm giving your brother
relationship advice,
1153
00:57:43,291 --> 00:57:44,791
saying, "Be true to yourself, Sammy."
1154
00:57:44,875 --> 00:57:48,541
Meanwhile, I'm...
not being true to myself.
1155
00:57:48,625 --> 00:57:53,625
The truth is
I'm actually kind of old-fashioned.
1156
00:57:53,708 --> 00:57:57,833
I'm a DJ, but I hate
staying up late at night.
1157
00:57:57,916 --> 00:58:00,000
I'm a morning person.
1158
00:58:00,083 --> 00:58:03,958
And-and I want to date someone
without feeling like I'm competing
1159
00:58:04,041 --> 00:58:07,833
with the cast of an entire first episode
of The Bachelor.
1160
00:58:07,916 --> 00:58:09,125
Hmm.
1161
00:58:13,041 --> 00:58:14,291
I'm sorry, Taylor.
1162
00:58:16,208 --> 00:58:18,208
I thought I could handle you, but...
1163
00:58:19,958 --> 00:58:21,291
...I can't.
1164
00:58:38,375 --> 00:58:40,375
- Hey. For Donna?
- Yes, ma'am.
1165
00:59:14,916 --> 00:59:17,000
Please. I'm exhausted.
1166
00:59:17,083 --> 00:59:20,541
Are you sure you don't have
one tiny little room open?
1167
00:59:20,625 --> 00:59:23,208
No, two. Two rooms. Two little rooms.
1168
00:59:24,583 --> 00:59:25,875
Okay.
1169
00:59:25,958 --> 00:59:27,458
Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am.
1170
00:59:27,541 --> 00:59:30,541
I am a mother. It is Christmas Eve.
1171
00:59:30,625 --> 00:59:32,500
Do you have any idea what that means?
1172
00:59:32,583 --> 00:59:35,375
It means that I haven't slept
1173
00:59:35,458 --> 00:59:38,541
for more than three hours in a row
in over a week.
1174
00:59:38,625 --> 00:59:41,875
And I'm a delivery driver
on Christmas Eve.
1175
00:59:41,958 --> 00:59:44,541
Do you have any idea what that means?
1176
00:59:44,625 --> 00:59:48,666
I mean, jingle all the way,
but your girl is tired.
1177
00:59:48,750 --> 00:59:50,916
Okay.
1178
00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:53,791
I always keep one room available
1179
00:59:53,875 --> 00:59:57,375
just in case a big celebrity
like Ryan Seacrest show up.
1180
00:59:57,458 --> 01:00:01,166
But for you, I'll make an exception.
1181
01:00:01,250 --> 01:00:03,041
Thank you! Thank you!
1182
01:00:04,083 --> 01:00:05,416
- Oh, thank you, thank you.
- Go, go.
1183
01:00:05,500 --> 01:00:07,666
Uh, you-you mean to share that?
1184
01:00:07,750 --> 01:00:09,458
Y-You mean to share it?
1185
01:00:09,541 --> 01:00:10,958
Yeah, and?
1186
01:00:12,875 --> 01:00:15,458
Well, I will if you will.
1187
01:00:24,875 --> 01:00:26,750
-Hey, hon.
-Hey.
1188
01:00:30,958 --> 01:00:32,708
-Mind if I join you?
-No.
1189
01:00:32,791 --> 01:00:35,416
-How you doing?
-Okay.
1190
01:00:41,791 --> 01:00:46,541
Did I ever tell you the story about
how me and your mom first met?
1191
01:00:46,625 --> 01:00:48,791
Yes. Like a thousand times.
1192
01:00:48,875 --> 01:00:51,083
-Oh.
-But I want to hear it again.
1193
01:00:51,166 --> 01:00:53,250
Oh, yeah?
1194
01:00:53,333 --> 01:00:54,500
Okay.
1195
01:00:56,208 --> 01:01:02,291
So, I was working as a stock boy
in this Boston pub called...
1196
01:01:02,375 --> 01:01:04,708
Hanrahan's.
1197
01:01:04,791 --> 01:01:06,333
Correct.
1198
01:01:06,416 --> 01:01:08,958
And I'm... I was such an obnoxious kid.
1199
01:01:09,041 --> 01:01:10,833
I just thought I knew everything.
1200
01:01:10,916 --> 01:01:14,458
I was always mouthing off
and always getting my ass kicked.
1201
01:01:14,541 --> 01:01:19,375
And this particular night,
I had a big juicy shiner.
1202
01:01:19,458 --> 01:01:23,833
I mean, this whole side of my face
looked like some kind of swollen ham.
1203
01:01:23,916 --> 01:01:28,000
And I'm carrying two cases
of paper towels into the cellar,
1204
01:01:28,083 --> 01:01:34,458
and I pass the most beautiful girl
I've ever seen in my life.
1205
01:01:35,458 --> 01:01:37,500
And she takes one look at me,
and she said--
1206
01:01:37,583 --> 01:01:39,875
"You remind me of a Picasso."
1207
01:01:39,958 --> 01:01:42,166
Exactly.
1208
01:01:42,250 --> 01:01:45,250
Yeah, for a second, I'm like,
"Who's this Picasso guy?
1209
01:01:45,333 --> 01:01:48,250
I want to find him...
1210
01:01:48,333 --> 01:01:49,458
beat the crap out of him."
1211
01:01:49,541 --> 01:01:52,916
And then I look into those eyes,
and I'm just like...
1212
01:01:54,416 --> 01:01:55,833
I was done.
1213
01:01:55,916 --> 01:01:59,875
I was done in that very moment.
1214
01:01:59,958 --> 01:02:02,666
And, uh, the truth is, without her...
1215
01:02:03,750 --> 01:02:07,375
...I'd probably still be
stocking paper towels at...
1216
01:02:07,458 --> 01:02:08,750
Hanrahan's.
1217
01:02:12,375 --> 01:02:13,916
Okay, baby. It's all right.
1218
01:02:20,583 --> 01:02:22,166
- Dad?
- What?
1219
01:02:22,250 --> 01:02:24,083
Is that Jeanne?
1220
01:02:27,541 --> 01:02:28,833
Is she smoking a cigarette?
1221
01:02:28,916 --> 01:02:31,958
Oh, my God.
1222
01:02:32,041 --> 01:02:34,625
Your mother would kill to see this.
1223
01:02:38,375 --> 01:02:40,375
Where do you think she could be?
1224
01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:45,208
I don't know, hon.
1225
01:02:48,333 --> 01:02:50,875
Everyone loves Santa,
but let's face it, Santa's...
1226
01:02:50,958 --> 01:02:52,333
What's your deal, lady?
1227
01:02:52,416 --> 01:02:54,916
You forget your kid at home
in your mansion,
1228
01:02:55,000 --> 01:02:58,750
and now you're on some crazy
cross-country journey to make sure
1229
01:02:58,833 --> 01:03:01,083
you make it back to them
in time for Christmas?
1230
01:03:01,166 --> 01:03:02,916
Yeah. Right.
1231
01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:04,791
No.
1232
01:03:04,875 --> 01:03:11,333
Believe me, I'm trying to get as far away
from my family as possible.
1233
01:03:11,416 --> 01:03:12,625
Mm.
1234
01:03:12,708 --> 01:03:14,625
What about you?
1235
01:03:14,708 --> 01:03:16,375
What about me?
1236
01:03:16,458 --> 01:03:19,500
Where's your family?
You got any plans for Christmas?
1237
01:03:20,083 --> 01:03:21,250
Lady...
1238
01:03:23,166 --> 01:03:25,583
-...I'm working.
-Oh, right, of course.
1239
01:03:25,666 --> 01:03:28,083
-I'm sorry.
-Are you kidding me?
1240
01:03:28,166 --> 01:03:29,541
I love it.
1241
01:03:29,625 --> 01:03:31,625
I got my true crime podcast.
1242
01:03:31,708 --> 01:03:33,625
I got my solitude.
1243
01:03:33,708 --> 01:03:38,083
I even got to see the Grand Canyon,
the Carlsbad Caverns
1244
01:03:38,166 --> 01:03:41,375
and the world's largest pistachio
all in a month.
1245
01:03:41,458 --> 01:03:43,458
And I got me some good selfies.
1246
01:03:43,541 --> 01:03:46,791
Come on, now! Where they do that at?
Okurrr?
1247
01:03:49,833 --> 01:03:52,250
Mm-hmm.
1248
01:03:52,333 --> 01:03:55,625
Uh, thank God for Shark Tank.
1249
01:03:55,708 --> 01:04:00,166
I mean, they rag on Mr. Wonderful,
but he's actually got a heart of gold.
1250
01:04:00,250 --> 01:04:01,416
Mm.
1251
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:04,541
Hey.
1252
01:04:04,625 --> 01:04:05,916
It's midnight.
1253
01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:07,875
It's Christmas.
1254
01:04:07,958 --> 01:04:09,833
Merry Christmas, lady.
1255
01:04:09,916 --> 01:04:12,333
Merry Christmas.
1256
01:04:12,416 --> 01:04:15,250
-Good night.
-Good night.
1257
01:04:17,583 --> 01:04:19,791
Tired. Oof.
1258
01:04:35,875 --> 01:04:38,750
♪ I'm trying ♪
1259
01:04:38,833 --> 01:04:40,041
♪ I'm trying to...
1260
01:04:40,125 --> 01:04:42,000
Alone on Christmas Eve.
1261
01:04:42,083 --> 01:04:45,708
♪ Part of the day
that I cannot sleep away ♪
1262
01:04:46,791 --> 01:04:49,583
♪ I'm trying ♪
1263
01:04:49,666 --> 01:04:51,458
♪ I'm trying to ♪
1264
01:04:51,541 --> 01:04:53,750
♪ drink away part of the day ♪
1265
01:04:53,833 --> 01:04:56,833
♪ that I cannot sleep away ♪♪
1266
01:05:07,250 --> 01:05:10,916
I, uh...
I have trouble falling asleep.
1267
01:05:12,083 --> 01:05:14,041
I like to keep the TV on.
1268
01:05:14,125 --> 01:05:17,041
Just-just hearing the voices
just keeps me company.
1269
01:05:17,125 --> 01:05:18,958
It helps me sleep. I hope you don't mind.
1270
01:05:19,041 --> 01:05:21,000
No, no, that's fine.
1271
01:05:21,083 --> 01:05:23,208
-Okay.
-Good night.
1272
01:05:23,291 --> 01:05:26,041
Okay.
1273
01:05:28,875 --> 01:05:30,375
...but we're not gonna
agree on a valuation, then.
1274
01:05:30,458 --> 01:05:32,416
What about a different structure?
1275
01:05:32,500 --> 01:05:34,291
I-I need it kind of loud.
1276
01:05:34,375 --> 01:05:36,125
Mr. Wonderful, how about we do this?
1277
01:05:36,208 --> 01:05:40,000
How about you do 200,000,
you make 50% of the profit,
1278
01:05:40,083 --> 01:05:42,041
but once you get your money back...
1279
01:05:42,125 --> 01:05:44,500
...you drop down to ten percent,
and that remains your equity.
1280
01:05:44,583 --> 01:05:46,541
Are those...
1281
01:05:46,625 --> 01:05:48,208
Is that whales?
1282
01:05:48,291 --> 01:05:50,208
Yep. It's for relaxation.
1283
01:05:50,291 --> 01:05:52,166
I have to play that, too.
1284
01:05:52,250 --> 01:05:54,250
It helps with my blood pressure.
1285
01:05:56,875 --> 01:05:58,500
Well, well, well.
1286
01:05:58,583 --> 01:06:01,666
Elizabeth Wang-Wasserman,
as I live and breathe.
1287
01:06:01,750 --> 01:06:03,166
Lizzie.
1288
01:06:03,250 --> 01:06:06,250
No one calls me Elizabeth anymore
except for my parents.
1289
01:06:06,333 --> 01:06:07,708
Okay, Lizzie.
1290
01:06:07,791 --> 01:06:09,666
Is this seat taken?
1291
01:06:13,416 --> 01:06:15,458
So...
1292
01:06:15,541 --> 01:06:18,250
Dive bar. Christmas Eve.
1293
01:06:18,333 --> 01:06:20,083
You needed a break from your mom?
1294
01:06:20,166 --> 01:06:22,916
Good old Cardigan Queen Jeanne.
1295
01:06:23,000 --> 01:06:24,875
Yep.
1296
01:06:24,958 --> 01:06:27,250
She makes my mom go mental.
1297
01:06:27,333 --> 01:06:29,916
Care Bear Claire has a similar effect.
1298
01:06:30,000 --> 01:06:31,958
Care Bear Claire?
1299
01:06:32,041 --> 01:06:35,083
Yeah, women get wild when they get old.
1300
01:06:35,166 --> 01:06:37,666
Can't wait to see
what kind of psycho bitch I turn into.
1301
01:06:38,833 --> 01:06:41,208
It's gonna be sick.
1302
01:06:41,291 --> 01:06:46,000
You know, this is the longest conversation
you and I have ever had.
1303
01:06:46,083 --> 01:06:48,791
Despite being in the same class
since the third grade.
1304
01:06:48,875 --> 01:06:51,583
First, actually.
1305
01:06:51,666 --> 01:06:53,500
First what?
1306
01:06:53,583 --> 01:06:55,750
First grade.
1307
01:06:55,833 --> 01:06:58,500
You sat behind me.
1308
01:06:58,583 --> 01:07:02,416
You had one of those horrible, like,
turtlenecks that's just a bib, and, like,
1309
01:07:02,500 --> 01:07:04,625
you don't-- it's not attached to anything.
You just push it in the sweater.
1310
01:07:04,708 --> 01:07:05,916
A dickie?
1311
01:07:06,000 --> 01:07:07,958
-What?
-The little turtleneck things.
1312
01:07:08,041 --> 01:07:10,166
Th-They're called dickies.
1313
01:07:10,250 --> 01:07:14,416
It's a really unfortunate name
for a really unfortunate accessory.
1314
01:07:15,500 --> 01:07:16,750
I loved that accessory.
1315
01:07:59,333 --> 01:08:01,333
Mm.
1316
01:08:01,416 --> 01:08:03,833
I'm doing business school and law school
at the same time.
1317
01:08:03,916 --> 01:08:05,625
Impressive.
1318
01:08:05,708 --> 01:08:07,041
Thanks.
1319
01:08:07,125 --> 01:08:10,291
I got fired from a Starbucks once.
1320
01:08:10,375 --> 01:08:12,291
Impressive.
1321
01:08:14,583 --> 01:08:17,457
♪ At the sun, see...
1322
01:08:17,541 --> 01:08:21,082
How come we never, uh,
hung out in school ever?
1323
01:08:21,166 --> 01:08:23,416
'Cause I didn't want to.
1324
01:08:23,500 --> 01:08:26,082
Cool. Glad I asked.
1325
01:08:28,000 --> 01:08:30,332
I had a really big crush on you.
1326
01:08:36,707 --> 01:08:38,082
Oh, my God, I love this song.
1327
01:08:38,166 --> 01:08:39,957
I love this song. Do you know this song?
1328
01:08:40,041 --> 01:08:41,500
Yeah, of course.
Who doesn't know this song?
1329
01:08:41,582 --> 01:08:44,082
I love this song.
1330
01:08:44,166 --> 01:08:45,957
♪ It's funny how ♪
1331
01:08:46,041 --> 01:08:47,541
-I love this song.
-♪ I find myself...
1332
01:08:47,625 --> 01:08:48,875
Oh, my God.
1333
01:08:48,957 --> 01:08:50,125
-Please dance with me.
-No.
1334
01:08:50,207 --> 01:08:51,250
-Please. Please, please.
-Lizzie.
1335
01:08:51,332 --> 01:08:53,875
- No.
- It's Christmas Eve!
1336
01:08:59,375 --> 01:09:02,791
♪ If I could buy my reasoning ♪
1337
01:09:04,916 --> 01:09:07,957
♪ I'd pay to lose ♪
1338
01:09:13,082 --> 01:09:15,457
♪ One half won't do ♪
1339
01:09:19,916 --> 01:09:22,000
♪ And I asked myself ♪
1340
01:09:22,082 --> 01:09:24,750
♪ How much do you ♪
1341
01:09:27,625 --> 01:09:30,750
♪ commit yourself? ♪
1342
01:09:30,832 --> 01:09:33,666
♪ Oh, it's my life ♪
1343
01:09:33,750 --> 01:09:36,666
♪ Don't you forget ♪
1344
01:09:38,041 --> 01:09:39,416
♪ It's my life ♪
1345
01:09:41,832 --> 01:09:46,416
-♪ It never ends ♪
-♪ It never ends ♪
1346
01:09:56,625 --> 01:10:01,958
♪ Funny how I blind myself ♪
1347
01:10:02,041 --> 01:10:05,000
♪ I never knew ♪♪
1348
01:10:07,833 --> 01:10:09,083
Hey!
1349
01:10:09,166 --> 01:10:11,500
Hey, hey! There's someone in here!
1350
01:10:11,583 --> 01:10:13,916
♪ Jingle bells,
jingle all the way...
1351
01:10:15,625 --> 01:10:18,250
Help! Help!
1352
01:10:18,333 --> 01:10:20,208
Are you kidding me?!
1353
01:10:22,291 --> 01:10:23,875
Hey! Hey!
1354
01:10:23,958 --> 01:10:25,208
♪ Jingle all the way ♪
1355
01:10:25,291 --> 01:10:28,750
♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride
in a one-horse...
1356
01:10:28,833 --> 01:10:30,875
No! Stop!
1357
01:10:30,958 --> 01:10:33,291
-Wait, wait, wait, wait!
-♪ Dashing through the snow ♪
1358
01:10:33,375 --> 01:10:35,583
♪ on a one-horse open ♪♪
1359
01:10:40,041 --> 01:10:41,500
Can I help you?
1360
01:10:41,583 --> 01:10:42,958
Did you not see me in there?
1361
01:10:43,041 --> 01:10:45,625
I was in the car that you towed.
1362
01:10:45,708 --> 01:10:46,958
I'm sorry, ma'am.
1363
01:10:47,041 --> 01:10:48,041
Rules are rules.
1364
01:10:48,125 --> 01:10:49,750
Here. You want some cash?
1365
01:10:49,833 --> 01:10:51,750
-I can give you cash.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
1366
01:10:51,833 --> 01:10:53,541
Keep your blood money, lady.
1367
01:10:53,625 --> 01:10:55,291
You parked in a yellow stripe zone.
1368
01:10:55,375 --> 01:10:57,208
Striped like that for a reason.
1369
01:10:57,291 --> 01:10:59,583
Now, you can take it up
with the parking bureau Monday morning.
1370
01:10:59,666 --> 01:11:00,666
-No. Please.
-I got to go.
1371
01:11:00,750 --> 01:11:02,250
I-I can't wait till Monday.
1372
01:11:02,333 --> 01:11:03,583
There's nothing I can do.
1373
01:11:03,666 --> 01:11:07,375
Once those wheels leave the ground,
out of my jurisdiction.
1374
01:11:07,458 --> 01:11:11,000
Now, you have
a very merry Christmas, okay?
1375
01:11:11,083 --> 01:11:13,291
Can I at least get my things?
1376
01:11:40,458 --> 01:11:41,791
Thanks.
1377
01:12:05,416 --> 01:12:10,125
So, this year for Christmas,
I got a '76 AMC Pacer.
1378
01:12:14,500 --> 01:12:16,708
But what did I really want?
1379
01:12:26,083 --> 01:12:29,500
♪ The snow is falling down ♪
1380
01:12:29,583 --> 01:12:34,333
♪ Gets colder day by day ♪
1381
01:12:34,416 --> 01:12:37,041
♪ I miss you ♪
1382
01:12:39,791 --> 01:12:43,208
♪ Our hearts were singing ♪
1383
01:12:43,291 --> 01:12:48,000
♪ It felt like Christmastime ♪
1384
01:12:50,125 --> 01:12:56,666
♪ It must be Christmastime ♪♪
1385
01:13:15,708 --> 01:13:18,333
Okay. Here we come.
1386
01:13:18,416 --> 01:13:20,125
Hey, Taylor,
can you move that stuff for me?
1387
01:13:20,208 --> 01:13:24,875
This is something that Santa brought
1388
01:13:24,958 --> 01:13:26,708
special for you guys. Ready?
1389
01:13:26,791 --> 01:13:29,333
Three, two, one.
1390
01:13:29,416 --> 01:13:31,250
Yeah!
1391
01:13:32,125 --> 01:13:34,125
Here it is.
1392
01:13:37,208 --> 01:13:40,000
What is it, Grandpa Nick?
1393
01:13:40,750 --> 01:13:42,583
Wh-What do you mean what is it, kid?
1394
01:13:42,666 --> 01:13:44,375
It's a friggin' Dreamhouse.
1395
01:13:44,458 --> 01:13:47,166
What happened to the roof?
1396
01:13:54,750 --> 01:13:55,958
Ugh!
1397
01:13:56,041 --> 01:13:57,666
Geez!
1398
01:14:00,583 --> 01:14:02,083
Forget it.
1399
01:14:02,166 --> 01:14:03,375
Who's next?
1400
01:14:03,458 --> 01:14:05,375
Come on, Taylor.
1401
01:14:05,458 --> 01:14:06,541
You're up.
1402
01:14:06,625 --> 01:14:09,083
Nah, I'm good.
1403
01:14:09,166 --> 01:14:11,208
Fine. I'll do it.
1404
01:14:11,291 --> 01:14:12,833
I'll be the elf.
1405
01:14:12,916 --> 01:14:14,583
Mom's usually the elf.
1406
01:14:14,666 --> 01:14:16,791
Yeah, but Mom's not here, so you got me.
1407
01:14:16,875 --> 01:14:18,208
Right.
1408
01:14:18,291 --> 01:14:20,666
This one is from Doug.
1409
01:14:22,083 --> 01:14:23,416
Oh.
1410
01:14:23,500 --> 01:14:25,583
Is it the last 24 hours of my life back?
1411
01:14:25,666 --> 01:14:28,541
Oh, wait.
Is my girlfriend in there?
1412
01:14:28,625 --> 01:14:31,083
It's something that I got for you
that I thought you'd like.
1413
01:14:31,166 --> 01:14:32,375
It's a T-shirt.
1414
01:14:32,458 --> 01:14:33,875
Oh.
1415
01:14:45,250 --> 01:14:46,916
Dad, your turn.
1416
01:14:47,000 --> 01:14:48,416
Do you want a present?
1417
01:14:48,500 --> 01:14:50,750
I'm not opening any presents
till your mother gets back.
1418
01:14:50,833 --> 01:14:52,208
I'll feel sick to my stomach.
1419
01:14:52,291 --> 01:14:56,208
Can you guys please just at least,
you know, try to get it together?
1420
01:14:56,291 --> 01:14:57,416
Yeah? You know?
1421
01:14:57,500 --> 01:15:00,083
I mean, Christmas,
it-it's supposed to be fun.
1422
01:15:00,166 --> 01:15:02,500
Do you know how few Christmases
we get in life?
1423
01:15:02,583 --> 01:15:04,541
With this group of people?
1424
01:15:04,625 --> 01:15:06,750
- I mean, it's a finite number.
- Where's Sammy?
1425
01:15:06,833 --> 01:15:08,708
I mean, is he gonna sleep all morning?
1426
01:15:10,625 --> 01:15:11,666
Sammy?
1427
01:15:11,750 --> 01:15:13,791
He's not in his room!
1428
01:15:13,875 --> 01:15:16,583
You got to be kidding me.
We lost another one?
1429
01:15:16,666 --> 01:15:19,541
Uh, I could be mistaken,
but is that Sammy's bike
1430
01:15:19,625 --> 01:15:21,208
in the Wang-Wasserman front yard?
1431
01:15:21,291 --> 01:15:23,416
Where?
1432
01:15:23,500 --> 01:15:25,833
Oh, my God.
1433
01:15:37,541 --> 01:15:41,541
♪ Maybe it's true what they say about ♪
1434
01:15:41,625 --> 01:15:45,750
♪ Maybe we can't make the ends meet ♪
1435
01:15:45,833 --> 01:15:49,791
♪ Maybe we'll all have to do without ♪
1436
01:15:49,875 --> 01:15:54,333
♪ Maybe this world's just incomplete ♪
1437
01:15:54,416 --> 01:15:58,583
♪ Well, we all look for truth
in this life...
1438
01:16:01,166 --> 01:16:02,750
-Can I help you?
-Yes.
1439
01:16:02,833 --> 01:16:05,750
I'm here for The Zazzy Tims Show taping.
1440
01:16:06,833 --> 01:16:09,458
Are you a VIP? This is the VIP entrance.
1441
01:16:09,541 --> 01:16:12,041
Uh, no.
1442
01:16:12,125 --> 01:16:13,166
Um, I'm just--
1443
01:16:13,250 --> 01:16:15,916
Okay, so you're gonna have to come through
here and circle back around, all right?
1444
01:16:16,000 --> 01:16:18,083
-This is the VIP only entrance.
-Mm-hmm.
1445
01:16:18,166 --> 01:16:20,458
You're gonna want to go over
to general admission and reenter there.
1446
01:16:20,541 --> 01:16:21,750
That's gate number two.
1447
01:16:21,833 --> 01:16:23,666
Okay. Thank you.
1448
01:16:27,375 --> 01:16:31,750
♪ Some see the road as clear ♪
1449
01:16:31,833 --> 01:16:35,833
♪ Some say the end is here ♪
1450
01:16:35,916 --> 01:16:38,750
♪ They say it's a hopeless fight ♪
1451
01:16:38,833 --> 01:16:43,083
♪ But I say I gotta try now ♪
1452
01:16:44,958 --> 01:16:48,250
♪ Oh, I've got to try, baby ♪
1453
01:16:48,333 --> 01:16:52,750
♪ Maybe it's too much to think about ♪
1454
01:16:52,833 --> 01:16:57,000
♪ Maybe there ain't nothing left to say ♪
1455
01:16:57,083 --> 01:17:01,083
♪ But if our time is really running out ♪
1456
01:17:01,166 --> 01:17:04,208
♪ then this ain't no time to run away ♪♪
1457
01:17:16,708 --> 01:17:19,041
And welcome back
for this very spectacular,
1458
01:17:19,125 --> 01:17:22,208
very extraordinary Christmas episode.
1459
01:17:22,291 --> 01:17:26,541
You know we've been doing the Zazzy
Christmas Special for five years now?
1460
01:17:26,625 --> 01:17:28,541
That's right, five years!
1461
01:17:30,291 --> 01:17:35,791
And what makes it such a special tradition
in my heart is you, our audience,
1462
01:17:35,875 --> 01:17:39,750
which is why every member of the audience
1463
01:17:39,833 --> 01:17:44,625
will be going home today
with a beautiful Monochrome candle!
1464
01:17:48,750 --> 01:17:53,125
But first, you've sent in your video,
submitted your nominations,
1465
01:17:53,208 --> 01:17:56,166
a record number
of applications this year.
1466
01:17:56,250 --> 01:17:58,000
Eight thousand! Can you believe that?
1467
01:17:58,083 --> 01:18:00,125
- Excuse me.
- Yes!
1468
01:18:02,041 --> 01:18:07,000
Eight thousand caring, generous mothers
who were all so deserving.
1469
01:18:08,375 --> 01:18:10,333
Yeah.
1470
01:18:10,416 --> 01:18:15,166
We heard stories of moms from Pasadena
all the way to Nairobi.
1471
01:18:15,250 --> 01:18:17,333
People could not tell us
1472
01:18:17,416 --> 01:18:19,250
- enough good things about their mamas.
- Can I put this on?
1473
01:18:19,333 --> 01:18:22,250
- And we can't wait to meet them.
- Uh, yeah, sure. Yeah.
1474
01:18:22,333 --> 01:18:25,625
Here onstage, we're gonna have
a mom who adopted 19 children!
1475
01:18:25,708 --> 01:18:28,875
Yeah. She's got her hands full.
1476
01:18:28,958 --> 01:18:30,500
- And, uh, we also have another--
- Yeah, you're good.
1477
01:18:32,833 --> 01:18:33,833
- Hey.
- Hi! Hey!
1478
01:18:33,916 --> 01:18:34,916
-Merry Christmas.
-Hi.
1479
01:18:35,000 --> 01:18:36,291
You here for Sammy?
1480
01:18:36,375 --> 01:18:37,541
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
1481
01:18:37,625 --> 01:18:38,791
You can come in.
1482
01:18:39,875 --> 01:18:41,333
Oh, Dad.
1483
01:18:44,458 --> 01:18:46,791
- Good tidings.
- Hi.
1484
01:18:53,166 --> 01:18:54,708
Unbelievable.
1485
01:18:54,791 --> 01:18:56,583
Sammy, get up!
1486
01:18:56,666 --> 01:18:59,416
You're passed out in Jeanne's house!
1487
01:18:59,500 --> 01:19:01,750
Nicholas Samuel Derwin Clauster the Third,
1488
01:19:01,833 --> 01:19:05,250
get your B-U-T-T out of this house
before I kick it there.
1489
01:19:07,750 --> 01:19:09,666
Sammy. Sammy.
1490
01:19:12,291 --> 01:19:14,208
Stop. Ow.
1491
01:19:16,833 --> 01:19:18,750
-Sammy, go.
-Go. Let's go.
1492
01:19:18,833 --> 01:19:20,833
Come on. Just--
1493
01:19:22,333 --> 01:19:23,500
We got him.
1494
01:19:23,583 --> 01:19:25,875
Okay.
1495
01:19:25,958 --> 01:19:28,416
Uh, your home is so beautiful.
1496
01:19:28,500 --> 01:19:30,208
- Thank you.
- ...Christmas episode,
1497
01:19:30,291 --> 01:19:33,125
-I'm gonna introduce you
to some wonderful women.
-Oh, look, it's... it's Zazzy.
1498
01:19:33,208 --> 01:19:35,041
-Mom's favorite show.
-We received a record number
1499
01:19:35,125 --> 01:19:36,750
of applications this year.
1500
01:19:36,833 --> 01:19:37,916
-Guess how many.
-Wait.
1501
01:19:38,000 --> 01:19:41,125
-Eight thousand applications!
-The-the Holiday Mom Contest.
1502
01:19:41,208 --> 01:19:42,458
She's been texting and...
1503
01:19:42,541 --> 01:19:44,416
-emailing me about this for weeks.
-Yeah!
1504
01:19:44,500 --> 01:19:47,083
- Oh, me, too.
- Mm-hmm.
- Same here.
1505
01:19:47,166 --> 01:19:49,208
I never responded. Did you?
1506
01:19:49,291 --> 01:19:51,375
-No. Me, neither.
-Ditto.
1507
01:19:51,458 --> 01:19:53,166
Without further ado, let's give
a warm Zazzy round of applause...
1508
01:19:53,250 --> 01:19:54,708
None of us responded.
1509
01:19:54,791 --> 01:19:56,750
...to the fabulous winners
1510
01:19:56,833 --> 01:19:59,416
of the Holiday Mom Contest!
1511
01:20:00,666 --> 01:20:02,041
-Oh, my God!
-Here we go!
1512
01:20:02,125 --> 01:20:04,333
Come on. You got this.
1513
01:20:04,416 --> 01:20:06,333
Hey, come on. Dance your heart out.
1514
01:20:06,416 --> 01:20:07,666
Let's go, let's go!
1515
01:20:17,791 --> 01:20:19,916
Oh, I love this!
1516
01:20:20,000 --> 01:20:22,666
Welcome, moms!
1517
01:20:23,666 --> 01:20:25,083
How did you guys get here?
1518
01:20:25,166 --> 01:20:27,958
- I'm a nominee.
- You're a-- And who nominated you?
1519
01:20:31,291 --> 01:20:33,833
Oh, my God, that's Mom.
1520
01:20:33,916 --> 01:20:35,250
Welcome, welcome!
1521
01:20:35,333 --> 01:20:37,875
I told her not to go off those hormones.
1522
01:20:37,958 --> 01:20:39,958
♪ Heaven...
1523
01:20:40,041 --> 01:20:41,500
Jess? Uh, Jess?
1524
01:20:41,583 --> 01:20:45,791
Who's that woman doing the Cabbage Patch
and waving to camera two?
1525
01:20:45,875 --> 01:20:47,750
I don't know?
1526
01:20:47,833 --> 01:20:49,875
Let me check.
1527
01:20:49,958 --> 01:20:51,083
Hmm.
1528
01:20:51,166 --> 01:20:52,666
- My children!
- Oh, my God.
1529
01:20:52,750 --> 01:20:54,291
She's got 19 children!
1530
01:20:54,375 --> 01:20:56,458
Who nominated you, honey?
1531
01:20:56,541 --> 01:20:58,166
Oh, my-my son.
1532
01:20:58,250 --> 01:20:59,625
Oh, her son!
1533
01:20:59,708 --> 01:21:01,291
My son!
1534
01:21:01,375 --> 01:21:03,500
- Who nominated you?
- My husband.
1535
01:21:03,583 --> 01:21:06,041
Oh, your husband must love you.
1536
01:21:06,125 --> 01:21:08,125
Where'd she get that jacket?
1537
01:21:08,208 --> 01:21:09,708
- You think she'll let me borrow it?
- Wow.
1538
01:21:09,791 --> 01:21:11,666
Your mom is a great dancer.
1539
01:21:11,750 --> 01:21:13,083
Hey.
1540
01:21:13,166 --> 01:21:15,583
Last night, did we, uh...
1541
01:21:15,666 --> 01:21:17,916
I can't decide if she's an icon
or a train wreck.
1542
01:21:18,000 --> 01:21:19,791
Icon.
1543
01:21:19,875 --> 01:21:21,666
No. You got so drunk,
and you threw up on my shoe,
1544
01:21:21,750 --> 01:21:24,625
and then I had to walk
you and your bike home ten blocks.
1545
01:21:24,708 --> 01:21:25,708
Oh.
1546
01:21:25,791 --> 01:21:28,375
Oh, wow!
1547
01:21:28,458 --> 01:21:30,958
Oh, I'm really here.
1548
01:21:31,041 --> 01:21:33,291
-It's really you.
-Whoo!
1549
01:21:33,375 --> 01:21:35,958
Hi! So, how did you get here?
1550
01:21:36,041 --> 01:21:37,625
Oh. Oh, gosh.
1551
01:21:37,708 --> 01:21:40,833
Um, uh, well,
the short answer is that I...
1552
01:21:40,916 --> 01:21:43,375
I tried to get my kids to nominate me...
1553
01:21:43,458 --> 01:21:47,000
...for the Holiday Moms Contest,
and, well, they blew that off.
1554
01:21:47,083 --> 01:21:48,958
- Oh.
- And then, um,
1555
01:21:49,041 --> 01:21:52,708
I got my whole family
tickets to a dance show,
1556
01:21:52,791 --> 01:21:54,916
and they forgot me.
1557
01:21:55,000 --> 01:21:57,500
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, yeah. I just, I just got in my car
1558
01:21:57,583 --> 01:21:59,708
and said, "Fuck it."
1559
01:22:06,208 --> 01:22:07,500
She'll be here in a minute.
1560
01:22:10,958 --> 01:22:12,791
Ah, you got her!
1561
01:22:12,875 --> 01:22:14,333
Glad that's over.
1562
01:22:14,416 --> 01:22:16,458
Oy vey. We did it.
1563
01:22:16,541 --> 01:22:18,083
- Great show, Zazzy.
- Awesome.
1564
01:22:18,166 --> 01:22:20,041
It's Cameron, right?
1565
01:22:20,125 --> 01:22:22,041
Uh, actually, it's Claire.
1566
01:22:22,125 --> 01:22:25,458
Do you know why I started
the Holiday Mom Special?
1567
01:22:26,541 --> 01:22:28,416
Was it to launch your--
1568
01:22:28,500 --> 01:22:33,458
It's because I've been buying myself
Christmas gifts for the last 15 years.
1569
01:22:33,541 --> 01:22:35,291
-Oh.
-Just so that I could have something
1570
01:22:35,375 --> 01:22:38,875
to open while my family tears into
the gifts I bought them
1571
01:22:38,958 --> 01:22:41,416
like a pack of coked-up howler monkeys.
1572
01:22:42,583 --> 01:22:44,333
You know what my husband got me last year?
1573
01:22:44,416 --> 01:22:46,208
An upholstery cleaner.
1574
01:22:46,291 --> 01:22:49,625
Yeah. And my son, he got me, uh--
1575
01:22:49,708 --> 01:22:54,458
oh, an autographed basketball
by one of the Harlem Globetrotters.
1576
01:22:54,541 --> 01:22:56,875
Not even the lady one.
I would've liked that.
1577
01:22:56,958 --> 01:22:58,958
Yeah. Oh, and my daughter
made me pancakes.
1578
01:22:59,041 --> 01:23:00,375
Oh, well, that's sweet.
1579
01:23:00,458 --> 01:23:01,666
I hate pancakes.
1580
01:23:02,750 --> 01:23:03,916
And she knows that.
1581
01:23:04,000 --> 01:23:05,625
-Oh.
-So I thought,
1582
01:23:05,708 --> 01:23:08,333
"Why not get the things I actually want?"
1583
01:23:08,416 --> 01:23:09,833
You know?
1584
01:23:09,916 --> 01:23:11,375
So now I play Santa to myself.
1585
01:23:11,458 --> 01:23:13,041
Same.
1586
01:23:13,125 --> 01:23:14,833
My stocking looks like a limp penis.
1587
01:23:14,916 --> 01:23:16,125
So depressing.
1588
01:23:16,208 --> 01:23:18,083
-It just hangs there.
-Oh.
1589
01:23:18,166 --> 01:23:20,500
No love.
Her family just lets it dangle there.
1590
01:23:21,666 --> 01:23:22,708
Yeah.
1591
01:23:22,791 --> 01:23:24,708
And we can admit that, you know?
1592
01:23:24,791 --> 01:23:26,333
But let me tell you something else.
1593
01:23:26,416 --> 01:23:29,041
-Here, I'm a boss bitch.
-Yes, you are!
1594
01:23:29,125 --> 01:23:31,916
But at home, I'm everybody's bitch.
1595
01:23:32,000 --> 01:23:33,791
We're all just little bitches.
1596
01:23:33,875 --> 01:23:35,833
But what you did was spectacular.
1597
01:23:38,125 --> 01:23:39,916
-They never turn off a light.
-Ugh.
1598
01:23:40,000 --> 01:23:42,291
Never. They-they can't close
the fridge door.
1599
01:23:42,375 --> 01:23:44,375
They can't close any door.
They let all the bugs in.
1600
01:23:44,458 --> 01:23:46,250
- Mm-hmm.
- They come home,
1601
01:23:46,333 --> 01:23:48,791
and it's like,
why so much toothpaste everywhere?
1602
01:23:48,875 --> 01:23:50,375
-In globs of blue.
-Ugh!
1603
01:23:50,458 --> 01:23:52,625
It's disgusting. I use my fingernails.
1604
01:23:52,708 --> 01:23:55,041
My husband always tells me,
1605
01:23:55,125 --> 01:23:57,291
"Don't worry. It'll all get done.
1606
01:23:57,375 --> 01:23:59,083
It always does."
1607
01:23:59,166 --> 01:24:01,250
I tell him, "Yes, I know it does.
1608
01:24:01,333 --> 01:24:02,541
Because I do it!"
1609
01:24:02,625 --> 01:24:03,625
Mm-hmm.
1610
01:24:03,708 --> 01:24:04,958
- That's right.
- 'Cause you do it.
1611
01:24:05,041 --> 01:24:06,541
Yep. Uh-huh.
1612
01:24:06,625 --> 01:24:08,125
I got four kids.
1613
01:24:08,208 --> 01:24:10,541
I carried them,
I birthed them, I fed them.
1614
01:24:10,625 --> 01:24:14,333
You know? I've had one
partially successful vaginoplasty,
1615
01:24:14,416 --> 01:24:16,416
and-and I bug them?
1616
01:24:16,500 --> 01:24:18,291
You know why? Because that's the score.
1617
01:24:18,375 --> 01:24:21,041
- Mm-hmm.
- That's the score.
1618
01:24:21,125 --> 01:24:23,125
Mm.
1619
01:24:23,208 --> 01:24:25,083
That's tight.
1620
01:24:25,166 --> 01:24:28,208
What? My vagina or the metaphor?
1621
01:24:29,041 --> 01:24:30,250
Whole situation.
1622
01:24:33,875 --> 01:24:36,333
♪ On the radio, whoa-oh-oh-oh ♪
1623
01:24:36,416 --> 01:24:38,708
♪ On the radio ♪
1624
01:24:38,791 --> 01:24:40,541
♪ Whoa-oh-oh-oh ♪
1625
01:24:40,625 --> 01:24:42,166
♪ On the radio ♪
1626
01:24:42,250 --> 01:24:44,875
♪ Whoa-oh-oh-oh ♪
1627
01:24:44,958 --> 01:24:46,250
♪ On the radio ♪
1628
01:24:46,333 --> 01:24:47,916
♪ Whoa-oh-oh-oh ♪
1629
01:24:48,000 --> 01:24:49,458
-It's a strong table.
-♪ Now, now ♪
1630
01:24:49,541 --> 01:24:54,500
♪ Don't it kinda strike you sad
when you hear our song? ♪♪
1631
01:25:07,250 --> 01:25:08,750
Mazel, delivery drivers.
1632
01:25:08,833 --> 01:25:11,000
We hope you get to sleep in tomorrow.
1633
01:25:11,083 --> 01:25:13,833
On that note,
it's time for my Mazel of the Week.
1634
01:25:13,916 --> 01:25:19,208
And this one goes out to a mom
who made her big broadcasting debut.
1635
01:25:19,291 --> 01:25:22,375
It's the Houston mother
who drove through the night
1636
01:25:22,458 --> 01:25:25,500
just to appear on The Zazzy Tims Show.
1637
01:25:25,583 --> 01:25:29,875
I don't know if you guys saw this video,
but I cannot stop watching it.
1638
01:25:29,958 --> 01:25:32,750
She put on an impromptu dance show.
1639
01:25:32,833 --> 01:25:37,541
And for that, Claire Clauster,
you are Mazel of the Week.
1640
01:26:00,416 --> 01:26:03,083
Just wanted to say
that I'm sorry.
1641
01:26:04,250 --> 01:26:06,125
Do you want to talk about it?
1642
01:26:06,208 --> 01:26:08,500
What is there to talk about?
1643
01:26:08,583 --> 01:26:11,083
Mom's gone, Channing thinks
I'm an irresponsible love addict,
1644
01:26:11,166 --> 01:26:14,625
and you... you told the love of my life
that I cheated on her,
1645
01:26:14,708 --> 01:26:16,333
after which she walked out on me.
1646
01:26:16,416 --> 01:26:17,458
Forever!
1647
01:26:17,541 --> 01:26:21,166
So, no, Doug, I don't really feel like
talking to you right now.
1648
01:26:23,166 --> 01:26:26,375
You said I was boring.
I had to defend myself.
1649
01:26:26,458 --> 01:26:30,833
♪ Better stop before it goes too far...
1650
01:26:30,916 --> 01:26:32,666
You can't hate me forever.
1651
01:26:32,750 --> 01:26:34,375
Family forgives.
1652
01:26:35,583 --> 01:26:37,166
No matter what.
1653
01:26:40,208 --> 01:26:44,000
♪ Sometimes I feel like...
1654
01:26:44,083 --> 01:26:47,250
I'm sorry I called you a man baby.
It was mean.
1655
01:26:47,333 --> 01:26:49,208
I'm sorry that I said
your books are too long.
1656
01:26:50,500 --> 01:26:51,708
That's not true.
1657
01:26:51,791 --> 01:26:52,916
They're just the right size.
1658
01:26:53,000 --> 01:26:55,708
And the dialogue wooden?
1659
01:26:55,791 --> 01:26:57,750
-Hmm?
-Well, you said
1660
01:26:57,833 --> 01:27:00,625
too long and the dialogue is wooden.
1661
01:27:00,708 --> 01:27:02,791
-You remember?
-Yeah.
1662
01:27:02,875 --> 01:27:06,375
And I just said
they're not too long at all.
1663
01:27:06,458 --> 01:27:08,000
Just the right length.
1664
01:27:27,791 --> 01:27:31,041
♪ Don't you know ♪
1665
01:27:31,125 --> 01:27:34,541
♪ that I love you? ♪
1666
01:27:35,791 --> 01:27:39,041
♪ Sometimes I feel like...
1667
01:27:39,125 --> 01:27:40,666
Channing?
1668
01:27:40,750 --> 01:27:42,583
You think I'm gonna end up alone?
1669
01:27:42,666 --> 01:27:44,583
No.
1670
01:27:44,666 --> 01:27:46,625
-You've got us.
-Yeah.
1671
01:27:46,708 --> 01:27:49,708
Till you all forget me on the side
of the road like our own mother.
1672
01:27:49,791 --> 01:27:50,958
Oh, God.
1673
01:27:51,041 --> 01:27:53,416
We really can be the worst.
1674
01:27:53,500 --> 01:27:58,208
♪ That fell down here to lay...
1675
01:28:01,125 --> 01:28:02,708
- You all right?
- Yeah.
1676
01:28:06,250 --> 01:28:08,083
- "Great kids"?
- Yes, yes!
1677
01:28:08,166 --> 01:28:09,666
-That's it! You got it! Yeah, that's it!
-I did? Oh, my God!
1678
01:28:09,750 --> 01:28:11,875
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
1679
01:28:11,958 --> 01:28:13,958
Yeah, yeah, yes, yes, yes!
1680
01:28:16,250 --> 01:28:17,250
-Fantastic.
-Oh, my God.
1681
01:28:17,333 --> 01:28:20,416
Sixty-three thousand one hundred dollars.
1682
01:28:20,500 --> 01:28:21,916
Oh, my God.
1683
01:28:22,000 --> 01:28:23,625
Congratulations!
1684
01:28:23,708 --> 01:28:26,083
Oh, my God. What?
1685
01:28:27,166 --> 01:28:29,375
-Okay, car leaves in 30 minutes.
-Hey.
1686
01:28:29,458 --> 01:28:30,583
Who are you?
1687
01:28:30,666 --> 01:28:32,500
I'm Trish from The Zazzy Tims Show.
1688
01:28:32,583 --> 01:28:34,500
Oh, you do not look ready yet.
1689
01:28:34,583 --> 01:28:35,666
Oh, please come in.
1690
01:28:35,750 --> 01:28:38,750
The car leaves in 30 minutes,
and we really got to move.
1691
01:28:38,833 --> 01:28:42,625
I doubt she has shoes, so if we could
please get those Jimmy Choos on her.
1692
01:28:42,708 --> 01:28:45,083
Fix this stuff in her hair. It's kind of--
1693
01:28:45,166 --> 01:28:47,625
What's all the-- What's going on?
1694
01:28:47,708 --> 01:28:49,875
Did you not check your phone?
1695
01:28:51,375 --> 01:28:54,083
Zazzy wants you back on the show today.
1696
01:28:56,166 --> 01:28:59,208
Happy Boxing Day.
Have we got a great show for you.
1697
01:28:59,291 --> 01:29:03,625
We have a live in-studio performance by
the incredible band the bird and the bee,
1698
01:29:03,708 --> 01:29:06,833
and Emeril Lagasse is back to show us
1699
01:29:06,916 --> 01:29:09,958
how to make a gumbo
that'll kick us right into the new year.
1700
01:29:10,041 --> 01:29:13,875
But first, by popular demand,
we are bringing back
1701
01:29:13,958 --> 01:29:18,000
the most relatable mama in America,
Claire Clauster!
1702
01:29:20,583 --> 01:29:22,666
-Great to see you again.
-Oh.
1703
01:29:22,750 --> 01:29:24,458
Great to see you, too, Zazzy.
1704
01:29:24,541 --> 01:29:26,708
Now, for those of you just tuning in,
1705
01:29:26,791 --> 01:29:30,750
Claire's family forgot her
on Christmas Eve.
1706
01:29:30,833 --> 01:29:32,041
Can you believe that?
1707
01:29:32,125 --> 01:29:36,750
But the funny thing is a lot of women
have connected to your story.
1708
01:29:36,833 --> 01:29:38,666
Can you tell me why that is?
1709
01:29:39,625 --> 01:29:44,041
Um, I bet a lot of women probably feel...
1710
01:29:44,125 --> 01:29:46,291
overlooked, Zazzy.
1711
01:29:46,375 --> 01:29:47,375
Mm-hmm.
1712
01:29:47,458 --> 01:29:49,208
-Unappreciated.
-That's right.
1713
01:29:49,291 --> 01:29:52,000
Taken for granted, you know.
1714
01:29:52,083 --> 01:29:54,125
That's pretty much year-round.
1715
01:29:54,208 --> 01:29:58,625
I'd say during the holidays most of all.
1716
01:29:58,708 --> 01:30:01,875
You know, it's just all
the behind-the-scenes stuff that moms do
1717
01:30:01,958 --> 01:30:05,166
so that everyone can have a good time.
1718
01:30:05,250 --> 01:30:07,291
It's a lot of work to have fun.
1719
01:30:07,375 --> 01:30:10,833
Yeah, and somebody's got to do that work.
1720
01:30:10,916 --> 01:30:15,083
And, well, most of them
don't want to do it,
1721
01:30:15,166 --> 01:30:18,500
and, you know,
they just don't want to step up.
1722
01:30:18,583 --> 01:30:20,250
So true.
1723
01:30:20,333 --> 01:30:22,666
You know who steps up?
1724
01:30:23,500 --> 01:30:25,708
-Moms.
-Moms.
1725
01:30:25,791 --> 01:30:27,541
- Moms.
- And...
1726
01:30:28,958 --> 01:30:30,750
...I miss my mom so much.
1727
01:30:31,666 --> 01:30:36,291
And I really wish that
instead of rolling my eyes...
1728
01:30:37,833 --> 01:30:40,458
...thinking she was silly, that I...
1729
01:30:40,541 --> 01:30:45,375
I-I just said those three little words
that mean so much to moms.
1730
01:30:45,458 --> 01:30:47,000
"I love you."
1731
01:30:47,083 --> 01:30:48,875
"Can I help?"
1732
01:30:48,958 --> 01:30:51,041
Oh.
1733
01:30:51,125 --> 01:30:55,000
And then I'd just give her a big bear hug
while I still had the chance,
1734
01:30:55,083 --> 01:31:00,083
because, you know, all she was trying
to do was make things joyous for us,
1735
01:31:00,166 --> 01:31:03,250
and there is nothing silly about joy.
1736
01:31:03,333 --> 01:31:05,375
Wow.
1737
01:31:06,250 --> 01:31:07,666
Well...
1738
01:31:07,750 --> 01:31:09,666
that was so beautiful, Carmen.
1739
01:31:09,750 --> 01:31:12,458
-Claire.
-But guess what.
1740
01:31:12,541 --> 01:31:16,750
We are not done yet,
because we have an in-studio surprise,
1741
01:31:16,833 --> 01:31:18,458
a Zazzy Tims exclusive.
1742
01:31:18,541 --> 01:31:22,291
They've traveled through the night,
and we convinced them to come on the show.
1743
01:31:22,375 --> 01:31:24,916
A group of people I think we can all agree
1744
01:31:25,000 --> 01:31:28,125
owe you a big, huge apology!
1745
01:31:28,208 --> 01:31:29,708
- Hey.
- Sorry, Grandma Claire.
1746
01:31:29,791 --> 01:31:31,500
Hey, hon.
1747
01:31:32,666 --> 01:31:34,833
Hi. Hey.
1748
01:31:34,916 --> 01:31:36,541
-How are you? We're so sorry.
-I'm okay.
1749
01:31:36,625 --> 01:31:38,166
- They're the Clauster family!
- Oh, hey.
1750
01:31:38,250 --> 01:31:40,166
-We're sorry.
-We love you, Mom.
1751
01:31:40,250 --> 01:31:41,500
Yes!
1752
01:31:41,583 --> 01:31:43,583
- We're sorry.
- Hi, Channing.
1753
01:31:43,666 --> 01:31:44,875
- Hey, Mom.
- Oh, my goodness.
1754
01:31:44,958 --> 01:31:47,375
Reunited right here on the show.
1755
01:31:47,458 --> 01:31:48,500
Don't go away.
1756
01:31:48,583 --> 01:31:51,333
When we're back,
we've got the bird and the bee.
1757
01:31:51,416 --> 01:31:53,125
And cut to commercial!
Back in five!
1758
01:31:53,208 --> 01:31:54,250
We're moving it to our stage.
1759
01:31:54,333 --> 01:31:57,000
- Honey, you look so great.
- Oh, thanks. Thank you.
1760
01:31:57,083 --> 01:31:59,375
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1761
01:31:59,458 --> 01:32:01,166
We're so sorry about this whole thing.
1762
01:32:01,250 --> 01:32:03,041
-Yeah, it was nice seeing you all.
-Yeah.
1763
01:32:03,875 --> 01:32:06,333
Enjoy the sun,
if you're into that sort of thing.
1764
01:32:06,416 --> 01:32:07,500
Where you going, hon?
1765
01:32:07,583 --> 01:32:09,791
This has been
a nice little publicity stunt and all,
1766
01:32:09,875 --> 01:32:13,041
but... what's really changed?
1767
01:32:13,125 --> 01:32:16,625
I'm sorry you came all this way,
but Mom's closed up shop.
1768
01:32:16,708 --> 01:32:19,000
For good. Peace out, y'all.
1769
01:32:20,500 --> 01:32:22,041
Is she allowed to do that?
1770
01:32:22,125 --> 01:32:24,958
I don't know. I think she's-- Hon?
1771
01:32:26,041 --> 01:32:27,291
Mom?
1772
01:32:27,375 --> 01:32:29,125
Mom?
1773
01:32:29,208 --> 01:32:30,458
What is going on?
1774
01:32:30,541 --> 01:32:33,833
I-I just, I just--
I wasn't expecting that, you know?
1775
01:32:33,916 --> 01:32:35,833
Well, I know. They reached out to us.
1776
01:32:35,916 --> 01:32:37,375
It was all very last-minute.
1777
01:32:37,458 --> 01:32:39,750
We were going for grand gesture.
1778
01:32:39,833 --> 01:32:40,833
Yeah, well, I don't know.
1779
01:32:40,916 --> 01:32:44,500
Maybe I'm just not quite done
being mad yet.
1780
01:32:44,583 --> 01:32:45,958
I-I get that.
1781
01:32:46,041 --> 01:32:48,666
The last three days have...
1782
01:32:48,750 --> 01:32:50,291
-been a lot.
-I know.
1783
01:32:50,375 --> 01:32:52,208
For us, too.
1784
01:32:52,291 --> 01:32:55,041
Y-You're right. We-we didn't support you.
1785
01:32:56,500 --> 01:32:59,416
You asked us to do this one thing for you,
and we completely ignored it,
1786
01:32:59,500 --> 01:33:00,791
which is terrible.
1787
01:33:00,875 --> 01:33:02,708
I mean, it's-it's unforgivable.
1788
01:33:02,791 --> 01:33:05,833
And I'm... well, I'm so sorry, truly.
1789
01:33:07,916 --> 01:33:11,083
And I know that what I said about
doing the holidays separately next year,
1790
01:33:11,166 --> 01:33:12,625
it hurt your feelings.
1791
01:33:12,708 --> 01:33:14,833
And I'm sorry about that, too.
1792
01:33:14,916 --> 01:33:19,833
But... well, sometimes I want
to have my own special traditions.
1793
01:33:21,125 --> 01:33:22,916
With my family, you know?
1794
01:33:23,000 --> 01:33:25,750
Is that so wrong?
1795
01:33:25,833 --> 01:33:27,291
No, honey.
1796
01:33:28,541 --> 01:33:31,000
There's nothing wrong with that at all.
1797
01:33:31,083 --> 01:33:34,125
It's just that... sometimes...
1798
01:33:36,958 --> 01:33:41,625
...I feel like
you don't support me, either.
1799
01:33:45,541 --> 01:33:50,041
And I... I just had to say that.
1800
01:33:50,125 --> 01:33:53,750
'Cause it's like
you're so in awe of Taylor.
1801
01:33:53,833 --> 01:33:56,208
I mean, I mean, we all are.
1802
01:33:56,291 --> 01:33:59,958
And-and... you still act like
Sammy is a baby.
1803
01:34:00,041 --> 01:34:01,833
Uh, don't get me wrong.
1804
01:34:01,916 --> 01:34:07,208
I'm glad, but-but I have a family
and a career I love,
1805
01:34:07,291 --> 01:34:10,875
and I'm actually doing pretty okay at it.
1806
01:34:10,958 --> 01:34:13,833
You just brush right over all of it.
1807
01:34:16,000 --> 01:34:19,041
Like it doesn't even matter.
1808
01:34:20,125 --> 01:34:25,458
I think maybe, subconsciously, if you,
if you weren't gonna be impressed by me,
1809
01:34:25,541 --> 01:34:27,875
then I-I wasn't gonna be impressed by you.
1810
01:34:30,625 --> 01:34:34,791
The-the truth is your...
your opinion means...
1811
01:34:34,875 --> 01:34:36,916
it means more to me than anything.
1812
01:34:39,541 --> 01:34:40,916
Anything.
1813
01:34:43,416 --> 01:34:45,500
My Little Bean.
1814
01:34:47,500 --> 01:34:51,958
I am so impressed with you
there aren't even words.
1815
01:34:55,458 --> 01:34:59,875
I don't know,
maybe I'm-I'm-I'm afraid of, um,
1816
01:34:59,958 --> 01:35:02,625
if I tell you that, that...
1817
01:35:02,708 --> 01:35:06,583
if I let the cat
out of the bag, that...
1818
01:35:06,666 --> 01:35:10,916
then you'll know
that you don't need me anymore...
1819
01:35:13,416 --> 01:35:14,625
...and I'll lose you.
1820
01:35:14,708 --> 01:35:16,625
Yeah, maybe that's it.
I think that's what it is.
1821
01:35:16,708 --> 01:35:19,375
Uh, that's my biggest fear.
1822
01:35:20,083 --> 01:35:25,208
And maybe I'm always
gonna need you to need me
1823
01:35:25,291 --> 01:35:28,208
just... a tiny little bit.
1824
01:35:29,458 --> 01:35:31,000
Is that so wrong?
1825
01:35:34,583 --> 01:35:36,625
You'll never lose me, Mom.
1826
01:35:38,500 --> 01:35:39,875
I'm sorry.
1827
01:35:45,458 --> 01:35:47,208
Honey? You there?
1828
01:35:47,291 --> 01:35:48,583
Honey, you in there?
1829
01:36:05,291 --> 01:36:07,208
There we go.
1830
01:36:07,291 --> 01:36:12,000
♪ Too many broken hearts
have fallen in the river ♪
1831
01:36:12,083 --> 01:36:15,916
♪ Too many lonely souls
have drifted out to sea ♪
1832
01:36:16,000 --> 01:36:17,125
♪ You lay your bets...
1833
01:36:17,208 --> 01:36:18,708
Ah, honey, I was so scared.
1834
01:36:18,791 --> 01:36:21,291
Oh, don't be dramatic.
1835
01:36:21,375 --> 01:36:23,041
-No--
-You weren't going to starve to death.
1836
01:36:23,125 --> 01:36:24,833
You could always make yourself a sandwich.
1837
01:36:24,916 --> 01:36:28,291
No, no, no, that's not it.
See...
1838
01:36:28,375 --> 01:36:32,208
40 years ago, I caught my luckiest break,
1839
01:36:32,291 --> 01:36:36,208
and I swore to myself if I got you,
I would never take it for granted.
1840
01:36:36,291 --> 01:36:39,125
And... come to find out,
1841
01:36:39,208 --> 01:36:41,875
complacency snuck up on me.
1842
01:36:41,958 --> 01:36:44,375
-Right?
-Mm.
1843
01:36:44,458 --> 01:36:47,708
So thank you for the wake-up call,
and I want you to know
1844
01:36:47,791 --> 01:36:51,875
that wh-what you do for us,
for all of us...
1845
01:36:53,333 --> 01:36:55,083
...is never behind-the-scenes.
1846
01:36:57,208 --> 01:36:59,125
♪ You think you're gonna break up ♪
1847
01:36:59,208 --> 01:37:03,000
♪ Then she says she wants to make up ♪
1848
01:37:03,083 --> 01:37:07,458
♪ Ooh, you made me love you ♪
1849
01:37:07,541 --> 01:37:12,166
♪ Ooh, you've gone away ♪
1850
01:37:12,250 --> 01:37:16,291
♪ Ooh, you had me crawling ♪
1851
01:37:16,375 --> 01:37:19,375
♪ up the wall ♪
1852
01:37:42,500 --> 01:37:45,791
♪ Like walking in the rain and the snow ♪
1853
01:37:45,875 --> 01:37:47,583
♪ when there's nowhere to go ♪
1854
01:37:47,666 --> 01:37:53,375
♪ and you're feeling like
a part of you is dying ♪
1855
01:37:53,458 --> 01:37:57,875
♪ And you're looking for
the answer in her eyes ♪
1856
01:37:57,958 --> 01:37:59,250
♪ You think you're gonna break up ♪
1857
01:37:59,333 --> 01:38:01,625
♪ Then she says she wants to make up...
1858
01:38:01,708 --> 01:38:03,500
Sammy, hi.
1859
01:38:03,583 --> 01:38:05,791
Mae-bell. How'd you get in here?
1860
01:38:05,875 --> 01:38:08,333
Oh, my friend Brian has an internship
with the art department.
1861
01:38:08,416 --> 01:38:10,500
-He snuck me in.
-Okay.
1862
01:38:10,583 --> 01:38:11,666
Cool.
1863
01:38:11,750 --> 01:38:14,958
Anyway, I saw your mom on Zazzy,
and ever since then,
1864
01:38:15,041 --> 01:38:18,250
I've been thinking about us nonstop.
1865
01:38:18,333 --> 01:38:20,333
That was, like, half an hour ago.
1866
01:38:20,416 --> 01:38:24,958
I know, and I immediately texted Brian
and jumped in an Uber.
1867
01:38:25,041 --> 01:38:28,958
It's just, Sammy,
I wish I knew how to quit you.
1868
01:38:29,041 --> 01:38:31,291
-Isn't that from Brokeback Mountain?
-It doesn't matter.
1869
01:38:31,375 --> 01:38:34,708
What matters is I came here because
1870
01:38:34,791 --> 01:38:37,041
when you realize you want to spend
the rest of your life with somebody--
1871
01:38:37,125 --> 01:38:39,291
Sorry. My phone.
1872
01:38:39,375 --> 01:38:42,916
♪ The things we do for love,
the things we do for love ♪
1873
01:38:43,000 --> 01:38:44,375
♪ The things we do for love...
1874
01:38:44,458 --> 01:38:47,208
...you want the rest of your life
to start as soon as possible.
1875
01:38:47,291 --> 01:38:49,208
Sorry, what?
1876
01:38:49,291 --> 01:38:52,958
I said, when you realize you want to spend
the rest of your life with somebody--
1877
01:38:53,041 --> 01:38:55,958
Oh, yeah.
That's, uh, uh, When Harry Met Sally...
1878
01:38:56,041 --> 01:38:57,791
Oh, congrats, Sammy,
you watch a lot of movies.
1879
01:38:57,875 --> 01:38:59,583
I'm saying we should get back together.
1880
01:38:59,666 --> 01:39:01,833
You know what? I think it's okay.
1881
01:39:01,916 --> 01:39:03,375
We're probably better off this way.
1882
01:39:03,458 --> 01:39:05,375
You will be fine. I will, too.
1883
01:39:05,458 --> 01:39:07,458
Oh, my God,
are you breaking up with me now?
1884
01:39:07,541 --> 01:39:10,541
No, you definitely broke up with me first.
1885
01:39:10,625 --> 01:39:12,833
Hug it out?
1886
01:39:12,916 --> 01:39:15,458
♪ The things we do for love ♪♪
1887
01:39:15,541 --> 01:39:17,541
Blessings.
1888
01:39:30,083 --> 01:39:34,000
So, Channing got to have
her Christmas ski trip,
1889
01:39:34,083 --> 01:39:37,000
and we all came along as well...
1890
01:39:38,458 --> 01:39:41,791
♪ Lawn inflatables in the yard,
December's got my tinsel tangled...
1891
01:39:42,958 --> 01:39:46,916
...as did Sammy and his new love,
which means...
1892
01:39:47,000 --> 01:39:50,166
the Cardigan Queen
is still never far away.
1893
01:39:50,250 --> 01:39:53,791
I'm so happy our families could do
this ski trip together.
1894
01:39:53,875 --> 01:39:56,041
Yeah, me, too, Jeanne. Me, too.
1895
01:39:56,125 --> 01:39:57,166
-Blessings!
-Blessings.
1896
01:39:59,375 --> 01:40:02,708
It is nice to try new things.
1897
01:40:04,625 --> 01:40:07,250
Mind, some old habits do persist.
1898
01:40:07,333 --> 01:40:10,875
Guys, guys, everybody,
this is my new girlfriend Serena!
1899
01:40:10,958 --> 01:40:12,916
Welcome to the family!
1900
01:40:13,000 --> 01:40:15,708
♪ Shake, shake, shake the snow globe...
1901
01:40:15,791 --> 01:40:17,791
But you know what?
1902
01:40:17,875 --> 01:40:20,541
The whole family used
those three little words,
1903
01:40:20,625 --> 01:40:25,875
and I had so much help that
they shooed me away for a little me time.
1904
01:40:25,958 --> 01:40:28,708
♪ This Christmas...
1905
01:40:28,791 --> 01:40:30,708
Don't worry.
1906
01:40:30,791 --> 01:40:32,916
I'll head back inside in a minute.
1907
01:40:34,000 --> 01:40:36,625
But until then...
1908
01:40:36,708 --> 01:40:38,416
cheers, moms.
1909
01:40:38,500 --> 01:40:42,666
May your hearts always be full
this time of year,
1910
01:40:42,750 --> 01:40:45,000
even if your stockings aren't.
1911
01:40:45,083 --> 01:40:47,583
Merry Christmas.
1912
01:40:47,666 --> 01:40:49,208
-♪ Merry, merry ♪
-♪ Ho! ♪
1913
01:40:49,291 --> 01:40:50,833
-♪ Very, very ♪
-♪ Ho! ♪
1914
01:40:50,916 --> 01:40:54,833
♪ Very merry Christmas ♪
1915
01:40:56,250 --> 01:40:57,916
-♪ Merry, merry ♪
-♪ Ho! ♪
1916
01:40:58,000 --> 01:40:59,416
-♪ Very, very ♪
-♪ Ho! ♪
1917
01:40:59,500 --> 01:41:03,458
♪ Very merry Christmas ♪
1918
01:41:04,916 --> 01:41:06,416
-♪ Merry, merry ♪
-♪ Ho! ♪
1919
01:41:06,500 --> 01:41:08,166
-♪ Very, very ♪
-♪ Ho! ♪
1920
01:41:08,250 --> 01:41:11,958
♪ Very merry Christmas ♪♪
1921
01:41:16,250 --> 01:41:22,291
♪ I heard the bells on Christmas Day ♪
1922
01:41:22,375 --> 01:41:28,916
♪ Their old familiar carols play ♪
1923
01:41:29,000 --> 01:41:35,041
♪ and wild and sweet the words repeat ♪
1924
01:41:35,125 --> 01:41:38,000
♪ of peace on Earth ♪
1925
01:41:38,083 --> 01:41:42,958
♪ goodwill to men ♪
1926
01:41:43,041 --> 01:41:45,708
♪ I thought how ♪
1927
01:41:45,791 --> 01:41:50,375
-♪ as the day had come ♪
-♪ The day had come ♪
1928
01:41:50,458 --> 01:41:55,958
♪ the belfries of all Christendom ♪
1929
01:41:56,041 --> 01:41:58,458
♪ had rolled along ♪
1930
01:41:58,541 --> 01:42:01,875
♪ the unbroken song ♪
1931
01:42:01,958 --> 01:42:05,083
♪ of peace on Earth ♪
1932
01:42:05,166 --> 01:42:08,666
♪ goodwill ♪
1933
01:42:08,750 --> 01:42:12,958
♪ to men ♪♪
1934
01:42:13,041 --> 01:42:15,125
Oh!
1935
01:42:24,958 --> 01:42:28,458
♪ Welcome to my Christmas song ♪
1936
01:42:28,541 --> 01:42:32,291
♪ I'd like to thank you for the year ♪
1937
01:42:33,750 --> 01:42:37,791
♪ So I'm sending you this Christmas card ♪
1938
01:42:37,875 --> 01:42:42,458
♪ to say, "It's nice to have you here" ♪
1939
01:42:43,875 --> 01:42:46,833
♪ I'd like to sing about all the things ♪
1940
01:42:46,916 --> 01:42:50,500
♪ your eyes and mind can see ♪
1941
01:42:50,583 --> 01:42:53,791
♪ So hop aboard the turntable ♪
1942
01:42:53,875 --> 01:43:00,416
♪ Oh, step into Christmas with me, yeah ♪
1943
01:43:00,500 --> 01:43:03,875
♪ Step into Christmas,
let's join together ♪
1944
01:43:03,958 --> 01:43:07,458
♪ We can watch the snow fall
forever and ever ♪
1945
01:43:07,541 --> 01:43:10,916
♪ Eat, drink and be merry,
come along with me ♪
1946
01:43:11,000 --> 01:43:17,000
♪ Step into Christmas,
the admission is free ♪
1947
01:43:17,083 --> 01:43:21,166
♪ Take care in all you do next year ♪
1948
01:43:21,250 --> 01:43:26,625
♪ and keep smiling through the days ♪
1949
01:43:26,708 --> 01:43:30,625
♪ If we can help to entertain you ♪
1950
01:43:30,708 --> 01:43:35,083
♪ oh, we will find the ways ♪
1951
01:43:36,458 --> 01:43:39,458
♪ So merry Christmas, one and all ♪
1952
01:43:39,541 --> 01:43:42,833
♪ There's no place I'd rather be ♪
1953
01:43:42,916 --> 01:43:46,333
♪ than asking you if you'd oblige ♪
1954
01:43:46,416 --> 01:43:53,375
♪ stepping into Christmas with me ♪
1955
01:43:53,458 --> 01:43:56,541
♪ Step into Christmas,
let's join together ♪
1956
01:43:56,625 --> 01:44:00,125
♪ We can watch the snow fall
forever and ever ♪
1957
01:44:00,208 --> 01:44:03,583
♪ Eat, drink and be merry,
come along with me ♪
1958
01:44:03,666 --> 01:44:09,208
♪ Step into Christmas,
the admission is free ♪
1959
01:44:17,291 --> 01:44:20,791
♪ Welcome to my Christmas song ♪
1960
01:44:20,875 --> 01:44:26,000
♪ I'd like to thank you for the year ♪
1961
01:44:26,083 --> 01:44:30,125
♪ So I'm sending you this Christmas card ♪
1962
01:44:30,208 --> 01:44:35,166
♪ to say, "It's nice to have you here" ♪
1963
01:44:36,208 --> 01:44:39,083
♪ I'd like to sing about all the things ♪
1964
01:44:39,166 --> 01:44:42,875
♪ your eyes and mind can see ♪
1965
01:44:42,958 --> 01:44:46,166
♪ So hop aboard the turntable ♪
1966
01:44:46,250 --> 01:44:52,833
♪ Oh, step into Christmas with me, yeah ♪
1967
01:44:52,916 --> 01:44:56,125
♪ Step into Christmas,
let's join together ♪
1968
01:44:56,208 --> 01:44:59,750
♪ We can watch the snow fall
forever and ever ♪
1969
01:44:59,833 --> 01:45:03,208
♪ Eat, drink and be merry,
come along with me ♪
1970
01:45:03,291 --> 01:45:08,291
♪ Step into Christmas,
the admission is free ♪
1971
01:45:08,375 --> 01:45:09,833
♪ Oh ♪
1972
01:45:09,916 --> 01:45:11,375
♪ Step into Christmas ♪
1973
01:45:11,458 --> 01:45:13,166
-♪ Let's join together ♪
-♪ Let's join together ♪
1974
01:45:13,250 --> 01:45:16,750
♪ We can watch the snow fall
forever and ever ♪
1975
01:45:16,833 --> 01:45:18,500
♪ Eat, drink and be merry ♪
1976
01:45:18,583 --> 01:45:20,416
-♪ Come along with me ♪
-♪ Oh, come along ♪
1977
01:45:20,500 --> 01:45:25,458
♪ Step into Christmas,
the admission is free ♪♪
143921
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Breton
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian (Nynorsk)
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof