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In 1979, on a school skiing trip,
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00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:06,240
PE teacher Tony Mammoth
was engulfed
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00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:09,920
by an avalanche. Perfectly
preserved under the snow,
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00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:13,520
he was found and miraculously
brought back to life
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00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:15,880
over 40 years later.
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00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:20,200
Is this some kind of joke?
I'll tell you right now, you can
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00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:22,440
not make Tony Mammoth look stupid.
I didn't know there were
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00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:26,200
yellow lines there. It wasn't
a crematorium back in 1979.
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00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:28,960
If anything, I thought the Capri
added a touch of colour and class
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00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:31,440
to what could have otherwise been
a very, very sad day.
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Yeah.
Are you listening to a word I say?
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00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:36,160
For a parking enforcement,
please press five.
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00:00:36,160 --> 00:00:37,640
DOORBELL
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Please press five. I'm on the phone.
Please press five.
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00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:43,000
DOORBELL
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00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:43,000
I said I'm on the phone!
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00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:43,000
Hang on a second.
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00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:45,040
I'm sorry, I don't recognise
that number.
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00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:49,520
I don't like your attitude, pal!
Put me through to your manager.
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00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:51,240
Please press five.
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GLASS SMASHES
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00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:53,440
Oh, for Christ's sake!
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00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:58,040
Please press five.
I can't press five,
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00:00:58,040 --> 00:00:59,720
can I, you dick! The phone's
in the house,
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00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:02,040
and I'm outside. Try speaking
the number.
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00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:03,080
Five...
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00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:04,120
Five!
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00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:09,120
Five, five, five, five, five, five!
I'm sorry, I don't
recognise that number.
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00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:12,240
Thank you. You have selected two,
recycling.
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00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:53,280
Now, I
don't want to overly worry you,
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but this panic attack
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really should act
as a wake-up call.
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00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:58,160
Have to stop you there, Doctor.
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00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:01,480
I don't panic, and I never have.
The big drought, '76,
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00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:03,960
everyone else panicking.
I just put my Speedos on
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00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,480
and my shades
and made some pina coladas.
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00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:07,560
And how many units
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00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:09,920
of alcohol do you think
you drink a week now?
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00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:15,320
30. 30? That's 15 pints.
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00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:18,600
Oh, is it? Oh, in that case,
60, then. 60?!
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00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:21,400
You really do need to start looking
after yourself better.
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00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:24,360
More fruit and vegetables,
a lot less alcohol,
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regular exercise... Doctor,
an avalanche couldn't kill me.
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00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:29,440
I'm sure a few pints won't make
a difference.
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00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:32,520
Just in case,
I want to give you one of these.
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What's this? A referral
for free personal training
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00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,440
sessions at
the local leisure centre.
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You really should start thinking
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00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,600
about making changes
to your lifestyle.
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00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:44,600
Is it worth getting a second
opinion? No. Fair enough.
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00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:49,240
Thank you, Doctor.
The new Tony Mammoth starts today.
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00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:52,480
Mm! Lovely!
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00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:54,040
THEME TUNE TO MINDER
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Please, Mum. Not again.
I'm just saying.
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Your university application
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won't stand out
if you've got no work experience,
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00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:06,360
will it, Mammoth? Absolutely.
Never a borrower nor a lender be.
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00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:10,920
Yeah... Brilliant.
It's totally your decision,
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00:03:10,920 --> 00:03:13,480
but don't blame me
if you don't get into uni.
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00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:15,880
I mean, it's going to be
all the fun of the fair, isn't it,
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00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:18,680
when you're hanging out around car
parks with your mates,
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00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:21,360
smoking wacky baccy?
Next thing you know, you'll be
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00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:23,840
down an alleyway
injecting spice into your eyeballs.
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00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,480
Why is it always spice
in the eyeballs,
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Mum?! Fine, I'll start looking
for a job.
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00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:31,160
Great. I'll start looking for one,
too.
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00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:34,280
Can you both look for one
in a different room?
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You've already got a job. Yeah,
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and I've got a new boss who's
an absolute arsehole.
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00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:43,160
Turned me down for a raise. Oh,
but he gave your weird little mate
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00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:45,880
Nathan a raise.
Nathan's not weird, Mum.
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He's 18
and he still plays with Lego.
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Yes, with me. And it's not Lego.
It's Lego Technics.
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It's not the point. Why does he get
a raise and I don't?
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Let your dad answer that one,
and I say this out of love.
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00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:01,560
You're being weak,
and you're not weak,
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you're a Mammoth. Oh, thanks.
I've been in your position,
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00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:06,760
a boss taking liberties.
Did I put up with it?
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00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:08,600
No. I marched in there and I said,
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00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:12,920
"You pay me what I'm worth
or I walk." And it worked?
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00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,120
More or less.
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00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:16,640
Are you joining the gym?
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00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:18,720
Some jobsworth doctor
said I needed to.
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00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:21,760
I said, "Me? A PE teacher?
Doesn't get any fitter than this."
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00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:23,920
I think you should join a gym.
What are you trying to say?
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00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:25,920
Nothing.
Just wouldn't do you any harm,
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00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:29,240
would it, to get a bit fitter for me
and Theo...
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..Theo's kids? Yeah. I don't
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00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:34,520
think Lego boy's having
kids any time soon.
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00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:41,480
Fine. Yeah. I'll join a gym for you,
for Theo,
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00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:44,400
and for Theo's kids,
which he's definitely going to have.
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00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:52,480
Hey, guys. What can I do
for you today?
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I am here for a personal
training session with her.
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00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:58,160
Oh, no, Grandad,
she doesn't work here,
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she's a model. I can see she's
a model. Why did you let her go?!
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00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:04,480
You'll have blokes leaving
in droves.
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00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:07,720
Are you both looking to join? No.
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Mum said I had to come just
to make sure he actually
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went through with it.
You still looking for a lifeguard?
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Cos he's after a job.
Are you lifeguard trained?
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00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:16,440
Just say yes, they'll never check.
Oh, no, I actually am.
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Mum made me do it before we went
to Center Parcs,
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you know. Water is a great servant,
but a terrible master.
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She's a bit full-on.
She is a bit. Right.
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00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:25,160
Well, no-one's applied yet,
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so I can take you
up to see the manager if you want.
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Oh, OK. Cool. Right, uh,
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I'll be back in a minute, and we
can do your induction.
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Come on, mate. Induction?
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Yeah, I think I know how a gym
works, pal. Mm!
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Such a pity.
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30 seconds start now. Let's go.
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Oh... So sorry.
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Uh...
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Oh...
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Oh!
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Oh, no... Nice to meet you.
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00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:23,520
Well,
he said I can start straight away.
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I used to be a lifeguard once.
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Most boring job in the world.
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I kept falling asleep,
until I discovered Dexedrine.
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00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:35,520
What? Drugs? Not drugs, uppers.
You inject drugs.
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00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,040
My old man, Stanley Mammoth,
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swore by Dexedrine. Said
in the war one time...
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..he stayed up
for four days straight on them.
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00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:46,400
Drove a tank all the way to Libya
in one go.
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All the rest of the unit
were in Egypt.
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00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:51,160
He got a right bollocking
when he got back.
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He wasn't even a tank driver.
Oh, yes...
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They don't make them like
Stanley Mammoth any more.
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00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:59,960
I think I'm going to be fine,
Grandad.
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I'm actually much more worried
about people not listening to me.
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I'm not much of a shouter.
I was exactly like you once.
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Obviously, better-looking, stronger,
filled with confidence,
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but I wasn't much of a shouter
until I found out
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you don't have to be
if you've got a trusty...
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..whistle.
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See that bloke over there?
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LOUD WHISTLE
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Feet, off the table, now!
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It's as simple as that.
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Well, I never.
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Tony Mammoth, it IS you!
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Terry Keane. I can't believe it.
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You're looking so well.
What a treat!
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00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:47,880
I'm here doing a spot
of football with a few other oldies.
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Got to keep active at my age.
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We couldn't believe it
when we heard you were still alive!
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00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,840
I bet you couldn't, Terry.
I bet you couldn't.
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00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:59,080
Oh, listen, I better run,
about to start the second half.
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00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:01,720
Oh, it's so good to see you!
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Let's have a proper catch-up soon,
eh?
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00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:05,800
Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you,
Terry?
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00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:08,680
You'd like that a lot.
Oh, yes, I would!
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00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:13,200
I bet you would. Yes,
I would, heh! A lot!
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KNOCKS RHYTHMICALLY
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CHUCKLES
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All right, Mel, everything OK?
Yeah, yeah. It's great.
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It's never better.
I love working here,
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00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:33,080
I love it. So, uh...
Just wanted to say that.
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That is really great,
but I really should get on.
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Actually, ignore
what I just said, because, um...
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Well, it's not all right.
Well, it's a bit shit.
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Well, not shit, just... To be
honest, I feel very undervalued.
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And I am a valuable cog
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in this...cog machine,
and I demand to be treated as such.
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00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,560
Sorry,
I didn't know you felt like this.
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00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:07,240
Yeah, yeah, well, I do, buddy...
Buddy-o.
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00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:12,720
So I would
like a pay rise or I will walk,
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00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:15,200
no ifs or buts.
Sorry, but a pay rise
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is out of the question.
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Oh, really? OK...
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Yeah.
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Mind games, I see. Yeah...
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Then, I resign.
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I'm sorry to hear that.
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00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,520
OK,
I formally accept your resignation.
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00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:36,080
I'll talk to HR.
You can leave immediately.
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00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:37,640
OK...
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00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:39,600
OK, I will leave immediately.
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00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:43,840
Yeah, I am gone.
Just watch me go.
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00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,560
I'm going. Hasta la vista, baby!
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00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:50,400
All the best in the future.
Happy to give you a reference.
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00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:56,960
What? Wh...?
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I didn't say anything.
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00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:04,920
Are you going, Auntie Mel?
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00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:08,280
Yeah...
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00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:11,320
I think I am, Nathan.
189
00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:19,920
Can I have her parking space?
190
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:23,440
And he just sat there
and let me resign.
191
00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:26,120
What did you do that for?
Because you told me to!
192
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:27,520
Didn't think I'd get the sack.
193
00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:29,120
The man's got a business to run,
Mel.
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00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:31,800
Can't have a mutiny on his hands.
You didn't give him any choice.
195
00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:35,280
Now I haven't got a bloody job.
Even Theo's got a job.
196
00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:36,440
Funny how it works out, isn't it?
197
00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:39,080
You lose your job the same
day Theo gets one.
198
00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:42,680
Mad old world. What can I do?
Why don't you,
199
00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:46,840
um, maybe open,
like, a car dealership?
200
00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:51,880
Become a professional minder
or something? Maybe...
201
00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:55,280
Maybe it could be a good thing,
you know? A fresh start?
202
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:56,360
Follow my dream?
203
00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:58,000
Do something
that I've always wanted to do,
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00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,080
like, um...
205
00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:02,360
TV: What are you saying? ..pottery.
206
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:06,080
Have you always wanted
to do pottery?
207
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:07,120
It's just that that's literally
208
00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:08,760
the first
time I've ever heard you say that.
209
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:11,080
Yes. Yeah,
I think I'd be really good at it.
210
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:15,000
You know, leave the corporate rat
race once and for all...
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00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:18,080
Make pots with my hands.
Great.
212
00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:21,040
Grandad, who was
that man you saw at the gym earlier?
213
00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:32,640
That man, if you can call him
a man, was Terry Keane.
214
00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:36,160
And he is a right piece of work!
215
00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:41,120
Really? He seemed nice.
Why don't you like him?
216
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:43,160
He did something awful to me.
217
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:44,800
Something unspeakable.
218
00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:48,800
Something I can never,
ever forgive him for.
219
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:51,360
Are you OK, Mammoth?
Not really, Mel, no.
220
00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:55,160
There are some wounds
that time simply cannot heal.
221
00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:58,120
Bloody hell,
what did this man do to you?!
222
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:03,120
I swore I'd take it
to my grave...but what the hell...
223
00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:05,960
..I should get it off my chest.
224
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:12,400
It was a dark, dark day,
October the 15th, 1978.
225
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:15,960
Hey, Terry!
226
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:18,920
Boys! How you doing? All right?
How are we? All right, mate?
227
00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:22,000
Oh, is that your new car
at the front, Mammoth?
228
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,400
The yellow Capri? Certainly is,
229
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:27,560
Terry, my pride and joy.
What, you been admiring it?
230
00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:29,640
No, it's nothing like that.
It's, uh,
231
00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:31,160
just parked on a bit of an angle,
232
00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:33,920
you might want
to straighten it up a bit, mate.
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00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,360
Oh, hello!
234
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:40,440
Oh, Terry. What a guy, huh?
235
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:43,800
Right, then. Same again, is it?
236
00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:52,320
Sorry,
was that the end of the story?
237
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:54,520
Yeah. Did you miss out the part of
238
00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:58,080
the story where he did anything bad?
Weren't you two listening?
239
00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:00,880
"Oh, you might want to try
and straighten it up a bit, mate."
240
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:02,320
For Christ's sake, man!
241
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:06,680
Forcing those words down
Terry Keane's throat,
242
00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:09,320
it's the only thing that kept me
going under the ice.
243
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:12,360
Revenge is a dish best served cold.
Revenge?!
244
00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:13,880
He didn't do anything.
245
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,040
And how are you going
to get revenge on an old man?
246
00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:26,560
Tony! How's it going?
247
00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:29,360
Oh, I'll tell you how it's going,
Terry. It's going well.
248
00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:30,960
It's going very well.
249
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:33,240
Good. Oh, it's good, all right,
Terry.
250
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:37,160
It's very good.
You see, I followed your example,
251
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,840
signed up for a team
in the over-70s football league.
252
00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:42,400
I don't think you count as over 70.
253
00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:47,800
Date of birth doesn't lie, Terry,
old mate.
254
00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:51,240
1935, read it and weep.
255
00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:53,040
Oh, guess what?
256
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:55,080
My team's playing your
team tomorrow.
257
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:58,440
Oh, great! Oh, that'll be fun.
258
00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:02,280
Oh, it'll be fun for one of us,
Terry! It'll be fun for one of us!
259
00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:05,880
All the fun of the fair,
Terry! All the fun of the fair!
260
00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:11,200
See you tomorrow! See you tomorrow!
261
00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:14,000
All right, lads...
262
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:21,240
Guys, can we please watch out
for others?
263
00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:27,960
LOUD WHISTLE
264
00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:29,680
I said cut it out!
265
00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:39,400
So, this is a totally fresh start
for me.
266
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,400
I think this might actually
be my big break,
267
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:43,920
you know? Something that's...
that's just mine.
268
00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:45,040
I've been watching
269
00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:47,440
shedloads of Pottery Throw Down,
so I am all set.
270
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:48,880
SHE SQUEALS EXCITEDLY
271
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:51,640
I think I might sell online.
Clay By Mel.
272
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:53,480
Maybe something a little bit cheeky,
you know,
273
00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:56,800
like Cuppa-Feel...
Ooh! Right. Well, uh,
274
00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:58,360
thank you for that.
275
00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:00,520
So if you could all set
your clay on your wheels,
276
00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:01,720
let's pick up from last week.
277
00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:04,640
Oh, it's heavy, isn't it?
278
00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:09,240
Oh...
279
00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:15,360
Looked so easy in Ghost.
I think Leanne could use a hand.
280
00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:18,680
It's all right, Leanne.
We're all beginners here.
281
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:21,360
Sorry.
I thought your name was Leanne.
282
00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:23,120
No. It's Mel.
283
00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:25,600
What part of Clay
By Mel didn't you get?
284
00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:28,760
Let's start again, shall we?
All right.
285
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:32,560
Morning. Hello?
286
00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:35,320
Morning! WEIRD ACCENT: Bonjour.
Welcome to my cafe.
287
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:37,960
Would you like to take
a little seat, mon cher?
288
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:40,320
You all right? Yeah. Great.
Oui, oui.
289
00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:43,600
Sit down. I've prepared a special
breakfast for us all.
290
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:46,040
I can see, yeah. Ta-da!
291
00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:47,760
Oh... Oh! Coffee?
292
00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:48,840
Yes, please.
293
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:52,240
There you go. Leaking out
a little bit. Oh...
294
00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:55,680
Matching saucer.
295
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:58,760
Wow... How's your cereal, Theo?
Great.
296
00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:00,800
Well,
I suppose you're both wondering
297
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:02,760
where I got my snazzy
new crockery from.
298
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:06,280
No idea, Mum. You know what?
It must have been really expensive.
299
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:09,600
I made it. I made all of it.
Wow... What do you think?
300
00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:12,600
It's really good. I know!
I'm going to sell it.
301
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,560
It's my new business.
What do you think?
302
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:15,760
Honestly, Mel?
303
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,920
I think it's poor.
I think it's really poor.
304
00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:23,760
I think it's probably the worst
thing I've ever seen.
305
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:27,360
I think what Grandad's saying is
just that it's early days, you know?
306
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:32,160
Yeah. But the colours are great.
I have to disagree with you there,
Theo.
307
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:36,000
I find what little colour there
is to be childish.
308
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,960
It's just a really poor effort
all round. Disappointing.
309
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:41,760
Oh, God...
310
00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:44,840
I've quit my job for this.
311
00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:45,880
Oof...
312
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:50,400
What am I going to do?
Oh, God knows!
313
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,640
Right, come on.
We've got to rock and roll.
314
00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:53,720
Got to pick Roger up.
315
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:55,960
He's getting me in shape
for the big match.
316
00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:58,240
ROCKY THEME
317
00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:58,240
I'll see you later.
318
00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:17,240
You might want
to straighten it up a bit, mate.
319
00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:25,880
You might want
to straighten it up a bit, mate.
320
00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:32,760
# Getting stronger
321
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:37,160
# Won't be long now... #
322
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:40,120
You might want
to straighten it up a bit, mate.
323
00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:57,520
You might want to straighten
it up a bit, mate.
324
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:12,720
You might want to straighten it up
a bit, mate.
325
00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:20,400
# Fly
326
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:26,280
# Fly. #
327
00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:30,640
That way we can really increase
the reach on our socials.
328
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:34,600
Hey, guys. Everyone OK? I brought
some pressies for everyone,
329
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,280
you know,
just to say no hard feelings.
330
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:42,720
Hola! Authentic tapas bowl.
Patatas bravas, por favor!
331
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:48,720
Uh, what are you doing here, Mel?
How about a nifty little Greek bowl?
332
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:51,400
Yamas! Don't smash that one.
333
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:56,640
Can I have my job back?
I'm sorry, Mel,
334
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:58,240
but I've already filled
your position.
335
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:02,000
Already? How? Who?
336
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:05,920
No hard feelings,
Mrs Davies. Mrs Davies?!
337
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:09,440
What happened to Auntie Mel?
338
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:11,320
I have known you
since you were six years old,
339
00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:14,840
Nathan. Auntie Mel,
we're in the middle of something,
340
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:16,360
so if you wouldn't mind
just leaving.
341
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:21,600
I am telling your mum about this.
You're not having my plates...
342
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:24,800
Rude!
343
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:32,840
BLASTS WHISTLE
344
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:37,840
Sorry, we won't do it again.
No, you won't.
345
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:39,160
Out!
346
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:46,440
BLASTS WHISTLE
347
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:50,200
No bombing! I wasn't.
Yeah, you were about to.
348
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:55,400
Out! 50 years married next week.
It gets easier, Maureen.
349
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,600
Trust me, he's
in a better place.
350
00:19:58,600 --> 00:19:59,960
BLASTS WHISTLE
351
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:03,040
No petting. I don't know
what I'm going to do with myself.
352
00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:05,240
WHISTLE
353
00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:05,240
No petting.
354
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,240
LONGER BLAST
355
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:10,040
No petting!
356
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:13,720
Am I talking to my shitting self?!
357
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:17,040
Theo, a word, now!
358
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:25,520
Time to straighten you up a bit,
Terry, old son.
359
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:28,680
Eye of the tiger, man!
Do your talking on the pitch.
360
00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:33,280
Jesus Christ, was that tea? No...
361
00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:38,160
Hey, my little girl,
I knew you'd be there to support me.
362
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:39,920
I can't
believe you're actually doing this.
363
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:41,680
It's unhinged. You're supposed
364
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:44,000
to be here to get fit,
not assault a pensioner.
365
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,560
Don't worry about it.
366
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:47,720
It's all going to be
perfectly legal.
367
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:49,400
It's taken every ounce
of my strength
368
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:52,080
not to go over there and fill him
in right now!
369
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:53,640
Wipe that stupid smile off his face!
370
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:56,440
Yeah, yeah, go on, champ!
371
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:59,040
BLOWS WHISTLE
Captains. Time for talking is over.
372
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,320
TERRY LAUGHS
373
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:22,320
Oh, no!
374
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:27,920
CROWD CHEERS
375
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:27,920
Yes!
376
00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:34,120
Nice finish! Well done, Tony!
377
00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:36,280
Oh, I'm not finished yet,
Terry, old son.
378
00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:37,840
Not finished by a long way.
379
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:00,600
Oh!
380
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:00,600
SNAPPING
381
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,640
Argh, argh, argh!
382
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:07,760
Oh, my God, your ankle. Argh, argh!
383
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,160
I'll get help.
You'll do no such thing!
384
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:14,160
I'm playing on. With that ankle?
It's fine. I've had worse.
385
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:17,200
Mammoth, this is ridiculous.
Stop the game!
386
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:20,400
Stop the game! Don't you dare throw
that towel in, Roger.
387
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:22,320
I've waited 50 years for this.
388
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:24,560
Oh... Help me up, old friend.
389
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:27,040
Argh, argh!
390
00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:28,640
Argh!
391
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:32,720
Just trot it off! Argh, argh!
What are you doing?
392
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:34,360
HE RETCHES
393
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:34,360
Ooh, no.
394
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:40,000
Back off! What are you doing here?
I've been fired.
395
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:44,320
Why? I shouted at an old lady
and made her pee herself.
396
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:48,360
Oh, what'd you do that for?
Just, my pool, my rules.
397
00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:51,440
Never mind. Now,
neither of us have got a job,
398
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:53,600
maybe we could hang out,
spend some more time together,
399
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:56,640
two amigos. Great.
400
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:56,640
MORE RETCHING
401
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:59,120
I think your grandad's
broke his ankle.
402
00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:00,560
And he's thrown up again.
403
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:05,760
Oh, Tony, I admire your courage,
404
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:08,800
but you need to go to hospital.
405
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:10,680
I'm fine, old son.
406
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:13,680
It's you that's going to
need to go to hospital!
407
00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:14,760
Oh...
408
00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:18,600
MEL, ECHOING: Mammoth?
409
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:20,200
Mammoth?
410
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,240
Mammoth?
411
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:23,600
Mammoth?
412
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:29,880
What happened? It's over.
Terry's team won 2-1.
413
00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:33,200
Terry scored both goals. Oh...
414
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:35,760
Bye-bye, champ. Argh!
415
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:39,080
This is the worst day of my life.
416
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:41,960
Nobody look at me. I'm a failure.
417
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:43,480
So I just spoke to Nathan,
418
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:45,120
and they're going to let you
come back to work.
419
00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:48,440
Oh! So I've got my old job back?
Nathan's old job.
420
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:51,040
Technically, you're going
to be under him now.
421
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:54,200
So a demotion, then?
Beggars can't be choosers, Mel.
422
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:55,480
I think he's mad,
423
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:58,120
taking you back
in the first place, if you ask me.
424
00:23:58,120 --> 00:24:00,400
Yeah, well, I'm not asking you!
425
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:01,800
Oh, here he comes, look.
426
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:05,000
Probably trying to stick yet another
knife in my back,
427
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:07,640
if he can find the room.
Don't be so stupid.
428
00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:10,040
He's actually been very worried
about you.
429
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,680
All right, Tony? Oh, soon
430
00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:15,600
have you as right as rain again.
Do you want to leave me your keys?
431
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:18,160
I can take
the car back to your house for you.
432
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,040
The car stays there.
433
00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:25,360
The only person who drives that car
is me and a young lad called Ben
434
00:24:25,360 --> 00:24:28,320
I teach,
who goes to the off-licence for me.
435
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:32,280
But he looks 17, so that's fine.
Only it's blocking the gate.
436
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:35,400
Do you want me to at least
straighten it up a bit, mate?
437
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:41,280
You sick bastard!
Yes, please, Terry.
438
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:44,680
That'd be really helpful. Thank you.
You are pure evil!
439
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:49,720
You're a despicable human being!
Oh... You're the lowest of the low.
440
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:51,600
Can't stand you, Terry.
I never could.
441
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:54,680
Well, you haven't heard
the last of this, Terry Keane!
442
00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:59,120
Tony Mammoth always has the last...
Take care, Tony.
443
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:04,200
Come on.
444
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:07,960
Open the door! Take the straps off
and let me out the...
445
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:10,400
# Get down, deeper and down
446
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:13,240
# Down, down, deeper and down
447
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:14,720
# Down, down, deeper and down
448
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:17,880
# Get down, deeper and down
449
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:22,440
# I want all the world to see
450
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:28,680
# To see you're laughing
and you're laughing at me
451
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:33,680
# I can take it all from you
452
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:36,480
# Again, again, again, again... #
55948
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