All language subtitles for I Love Lucy s00e05 the cast of i love lucy on the bob hope show

The Chevrolet dealers all over America
bring you, direct from Hollywood, the

Hope Chevy Show.

With these stars as guests,

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, Diana

Doerr, Vivian Vance, William Frawley,

and special guest James Cagney.

And the Hollywood Death Star.

And extra adamant fracture, Don No -Hit
Larson, the World Series Hero.

And Les Brown and his band of renown.

And presenting the sweet, smooth, and
sassy 1957 Chevrolet.

And now here is the star of our show,
Bob Hope.

Thank you very, very much. Well, here I
am back again.

I'll wait while you pay off your bets.

You know, I want to tell you it's
wonderful being back with you folks

after being away for so long.

And I mean that.

I feel it right here.

Sort of empty.

Any questions?

Now, this is my second year for
Chevrolet, and I'm proud to say that

is still number one in the field of low
-priced comedians.

It's nice to be back. I guess I'm
getting sentimental, but I was touched

wonderful reception I got when I arrived
here at NBC this afternoon.

The officials formed two rows into the
studio, and I walked between while the

band played Hound Dog.

And, of course, this season we're on
Sunday nights. We finally got permission

from Ed Sullivan.

He owns Sunday, you know.

And tonight, for the first time, we're
going to show you those beautiful, brand

-new 1957 Chevrolets.

And I know you're going to enjoy the
opportunity to see in 56 the 57s that

you'll be paying for in 58.

Me too.

Oh, this looks like a big year on TV.
Walter Winchell's on with a new show and

it's very good.

But one thing worries me. With Winchell
busy on television and Eich out

campaigning, who's running the country?

Of course, Sid Caesar's back with a new
wife.

He has a used wife lot, you know.

On his first show, something went wrong
with the picture and they didn't know

what the trouble was until they found
out the coaxial cable went through

Fabray's backyard.

I'll die with that joke. I love it. I
want to tell you that.

And Steve Allen took on so many shows,
he has no privacy at all anymore.

He's on the air so much, he has to raise
his hand when he wants to leave the

camera.

And, of course, Perry Como's back, the
old relaxicizer with legs.

Oh, I love the way Como works.

He's so relaxed, every ten minutes they
put a mirror to his mouth to see if he's

still breathing.

And there's so much competition. The TV
shows are still fighting it out.

Ed Sullivan's had some big shows, but
next week he's going to top them all.

He's going to start a brush fire on
Alvin Presley's sideburns.

Melvin Presley's.

Oh, I love that. To meet the
competition, Steve Allen is having

doing a mambo with Nasser.

And as an added attraction, they're
flying in the Suez Canal, I think.

How about that Suez Canal? I think Ike's
going to do something about that. I

think he's going to ask Stevenson to
step in.

for high tide, but I want to say one
thing.

Boy, they're really campaigning, aren't
they?

And the things the candidates say about
each other while you think they were

actors, I've never heard such words.

Nixon says every family will have two
cars, three TV sets, and only work four

days a week.

But Stevenson's gone him one better.
He's trying to fix it so the Republicans

won't have to work at all.

Now, how about that?

How about that? A four -day week with
three days off. Imagine three days of

playtime.

Our next Secretary of Labor may be Zsa
Zsa Gabor.

And, of course, Ike's going on TV a
little more often than he thought he

He had to do something. A lot of kids
were beginning to think Walt Disney was

president.

Oh, he's been doing a lot of traveling,
too. When he was in San Francisco, he

stopped at the St. Francis Hotel, and
everybody was so thrilled that President

Eisenhower was there. But to show you
how politics works...

Ike suspected his hotel mate of being a
Democrat, because every time he came

back to his room, he found his bed short
-sheeted, a Stevenson button on his

pajamas, and a sign on his bathroom door
reading, Enlisted Men Only.

And I thought it was nice when Grace and
the Prince visited the White House

the other day.

They had a little trouble getting in
lately. Ike's suspicious of anyone

into the White House with suitcases, but
they were real sweet.

And the prince was a little surprised.
He thought the capital was in Las Vegas.

No, Grace wants to meet Stevenson, too.
They have a lot in common. They're both

expecting. And I think... Say, we have
quite a line

of... for you tonight, and I hope you
enjoy the show. We have Diana Doors, one

of England's most beautiful and talented
movie stars, and this is her first

television performance in America, and I
know you're going to enjoy seeing a

British movie star so early in the
evening.

And we have, uh... Now,

Diana came over here to make a movie
with George Gobel called I Married a

I don't know what part she plays, but
I'm sure...

I'm kind of thrilled because Desi and
Lucy are paying me a great courtesy by

coming on my show. It's their first time
on NBC.

Actually, this is a swap.

I appeared on their first show, and
they're here to get revenge.

James Cagney is here to present the ten
beautiful Deb stars from the makeup

men's ball.

And I know you love Cagney. He's one of
the really tough, tough guys.

In fact, he thinks somebody up there
likes me as a comedy.

And, of course, the World Series hero,
the perfect game pitcher, Don No -Hit

Larson. Imagine pitching a perfect game.

That's like Georgie Jessel singing an
entire song on key. I want to tell you,

it's just amazing.

And, of course, we have Les Brown and
his band, famous in musical circles as

Pool Room Lawrence Welk, ladies and
gentlemen.

Les is going to Orlando, Florida for the
Fire Chief's Ball tomorrow night. Is

that true?

Good luck down there in Orlando. I do
want to tell you that Les was a born

musician. Before he was 12, he knew how
to spell Hugo Winterhalter. I want to...

And he has a wonderful new album out
right now, Music for Nervous Lovers.

It's on a long -playing mill town. I
think... That's our

Les. And now for the new Chevy.

I just want you to see this. Now, let me
remind you before I go that your

friendly Chevrolet dealer stands behind
every car he sells.

So when you get in it, don't back up.
We've been losing too many dealers.

Ladies

and

gentlemen, tonight we welcome to our
stage a young lady who recently made a

big splash in Hollywood.

This attractive actress started at the
bottom and swam her way to the top. Here

she is.

England's answer to Esther Williams,
Miss Diana Doris.

Beautiful,

isn't she?

No wonder everyone had to jump in the
pool.

Good evening, Diana.

Good evening, Sir Robert.

Please, not here. It's not necessary.

Oh, but in England, you told me that you
were America's Laurence Olivier.

Well, it's not official yet. Ike has
knighted me with his putter.

You know, Diane, I'm finally glad that
you made it to our shores.

Well, it's thanks to you, Bob. After
all, you're the one who discovered me in

England. Well, I can't take too much
credit for that. It's not exactly like

looking for a needle in a haystack.

You know, Bob... I would really adore to
make a picture with you. Really? It

would be the greatest thrill of my life
to make one of those road pictures with

you and that other fellow.

What's his name?

I had it on the tip of my tongue, but I
spit it out.

Well, he's very nice, Bob, but I mean,
after all, you're the one that's the big

attraction. Me? Where'd you get that
idea?

Well, it says so right over there on
that card.

Please, don't point to my ad libs,
please.

You know, I know that this is your first
visit here. Tell me, how do the

colonies strike you?

Oh, they're very cute. Cute.

Good night, everybody in Texas.

You flew over the country, didn't you,
Diana? Uh -huh. Well, this may come as a

surprise to you, but as the plane gets
closer to the ground, the states get

bigger. Well, Bob, you don't really have
to explain that kind of thing to me.

You know, I'm not really what you
Americans would call a square.

No, we'd never say that.

No, I don't. Incidentally, Diana, how
are you doing with the language barrier?

Oh, I love the way you Yanks talk. It's
so colorful.

Well, like what? What's your favorite
expression?

Alimony. I'm such an intriguing...
sound. Tell me, what does it mean?

Al, you mean they don't have that in
England? Well, I never heard of it.

Last one of the boat is a schnook.

Well, do you understand the political
speeches that Ike and Adelaide are

Well, no, but I find it all very
exciting.

Tell me, which one do you think will
make the best king?

Well, either one. They both have shiny
crowns, but I...

It's not king, it's president here. Oh,
well, I think I like our system better.

You know, in England, the king reigns
for his entire life.

Except, of course, for the one who
abdicated.

Oh, yes, I remember him. He's the one
who ran off and married the jacks

Yes, I... Well,

Diana, I get the feeling that you prefer
England to America.

Well, England... England is wonderful,
but I think for a woman, America is the

greatest place in the world. You know, I
particularly like the way that the

American men treat their wives.

Well, don't be ridiculous. Men are men
and women are women all over the world.

At the last meeting of the U .N., even
Russia voted for that.

No, you don't understand, Bob. In
Europe, a woman is trained to worship

The wife is the slave and the husband is
king.

Last one to the boat is a schnook.

And now let's visit this veritable
paradise in Europe, this happy haven

man is still king and woman lives only
to serve him.

Here we are at the home of Sir Robert
Hope and his good lady, Prudence.

Oh, I do wish my angel would hurry up
and come home.

Such a dashing man, such a handsome
devil.

My mother keeps telling me that I'm
simple -minded.

Oh, he's coming!

Tally, tally, tally, tally!

Shake.

You're squeezing.

to Bevan's old girl. Try to control
yourself.

I'm sorry, B .C. Quite.

It's just that, well, I find you so
exquisite and I don't know how I can

resist you.

Lovely person. Wish I could remember her
name.

May I remove your boots?

Have you been a good girl? Oh, yes, I've
been a very good girl and I adore you.

Then you may remove my boots.

The last one of the boat is a schnook.

a fortune in long underwear.

Darling.

Hmm?

Come over here.

Yes, but you're there.

Well? Well, you know how I hate crowds.

Beastly, look at me.

Can't you see that I'm a woman?

By Jove, you're right. Get me a pencil.
I must make a note of that.

Beasley, you're impossible.

You raised your voice.

How much can a man be expected to stand?

This and Liberace's visit in the same
week.

Pack my valise. I'm gone.

Where are you going?

To live with Mater and Pater. But they
don't have a room.

Yes, but then I'll stay with Winnie
Churchill.

He has a spare room.

Since the $64 ,000 question, his son is
afraid to come home.

That's how I must be toddling. Oh, but
you can't go yet because I haven't told

you something.

Yes?

Can't you see what I'm knitting?

Are those what I think they are? Uh
-huh.

How can you be so stupid?

First you knit them too big, now you
make them too small.

And now we go to America, to that
glamorous land where woman is the queen,

electricity is her slave, and the
husband is just a lump in the lap of

Here we are at the home of a typical
American couple.

The good wife is industriously engaged
with her household chores, and the lump

is on his way home from work.

And so I said to him, if you think that
I'm going to drive around town in a car

that clashes with my mink, you're very
much mistaken. I wish you could have

the look on his face.

My husband just came into radar range.

Well, I suppose I'll have to clean this
place up before Godzilla makes his

entrance.

My baby just cares for me.

Hi, Diana.

Elvis.

Elvis, what are you doing in that
ridiculous janitor's outfit? Well, what

I wear? I'm a janitor at NBC.

But you told me that you were a vice
president.

Yeah, that was yesterday.

soaked the boilers, but it was worth it
because I knew I was coming home to you.

Kiss me, you fool.

I did better with the boilers.

You know, Elvis, I'm sorry. I know I've
been a poor wife to you these past few

weeks, but it isn't my fault. What do
you mean?

Well, I didn't want to worry you until I
was sure, but you see...

We're going to have a baby.

A little baby with my dancing eyes, my
sensitive mouth, my saucy dimples, and

delicate nose?

I said a baby, not a cocker spaniel.

What do you want, a boy or a girl?

Do I have a choice?

I'd like you to take a look at an
historic piece of film, one of the

moments in American sports.

The date is October the 8th, 1956.

The place, the Yankee Stadium in New
York City.

And here it is. Don Larson throwing the
last pitch for the last out in the last

inning.

It's a strike and Don Larson has pitched
the first perfect game in World Series

history.

Let's meet the first man in history to
pitch a perfect game in a World Series

ball, the pride of the Yankees, Don
Larson, right here.

Greetings from the Earth, people.

Is that all you or are you standing on
Yogi Berra?

How tall are you, Don?

Six feet four.

That'll teach you to smoke.

Don, it's really a great thrill for all
of us to have you on the show.

Thank you very much, Bob. And I know
it's a real treat for your millions of

fans, kids who are just learning to play
baseball. Have you ever seen Little

Leaguers in action?

Oh, sure, Bob.

We played Cleveland.

I know how the Dodgers felt. He's still
throwing strikes.

That perfect game topped off a pretty
good season. What was your record this

year? Nothing to rave about.

11 -5 -3.

11 -5 -3?

11 wins, 5 losses, and 3 gillette
commercials.

Actually,

as sports writers know, Don had a very
tough break this year. He got a sore arm

in July and couldn't shave.

Don, let's start at the beginning. When
did the Yankees sign you?

In 1954, but they didn't really mean to.
What do you mean?

Well, they wanted Bob Turley.

In order to get him, they had to take
me.

That's how I got into paramount, you
know.

No, they hired Lassie, and I was on the
other end of the leash.

Hey, Don, Yogi must have pitched just a
few pitches. He called a few pitches

that you didn't like. I noticed that you
shook off a couple of his signs.

I wasn't shaking off any signs. I was
just shaking.

Ninth inning, I had my own private
earthquake.

Well, that's nothing to be ashamed of. I
get the shakes, too.

Before every show, I have to put cotton
in my pockets to keep my keys from

rattling.

Why are you nervous? It's not like
baseball.

There's nobody to knock you out of the
box.

Boy, has he got a lot to learn about
sponsors.

Don, I know that everybody who watched
you pitch that last inning was wondering

the same thing. What were you thinking
of as you faced that last batter?

That's not an easy question to answer.
Well, let's recreate that last out. You

head for the mound and tell us what you
were thinking, and I'll come up to bat

and place a Dale Mitchell, okay?

I'll try anything, as long as it doesn't
go in the record book.

All right, here we go.

It's the last half of the ninth. Twenty
-six men have come up to face Don

Larson, and no one has reached first
base.

He's got the world's record. A perfect
game if he can just get this last man

out. Play ball.

One more to go.

They're putting in a pinch hitter.

Probably a switch hitter.

Probably their best hitter.

That's a hitter?

Oh, boy, what a spot.

Hope I don't spoil my perfect record.

120 games without falling off the bench.

Wow, look at the size of him.

He must use radar to tie his shoelaces.

I wonder what his weakness is.

Girls, I wish he'd throw one.

I wonder if he's going to try to hit and
ruin my perfect game.

Nobody could be that mean, that cruel,
that selfish.

Okay, buddy, here it is.

Because you asked for it.

Strike one!

Strike two!

I'm getting nervous. I wish he'd start
pitching.

I'd better look at the dugout and see
what the manager wants me to do.

Oh, yeah, same to you.

One more to go. This is a big one.

Strike three, you're out!

Bob, where are you going? Are you
kidding?

After what we did to the Dodgers, the
last one of the boat is a schnook.

Don, before you go, I have some great
news for you. I've just heard from

Magazine that your perfect game, for
your perfect game, you've been chosen by

the editors of Sport.

to receive their award for the top
sports performance of 1956.

And on behalf of Sport Magazine, it is
my privilege to present you with... Let

me see now. I had a little something to
give you.

Oh, yeah. A beautiful new Chevy Corvette
right here.

Thank you. There's a sport. Well, I want
you to wear this in good health, Donna.

And while you're driving on the freeway,
try for a no -hitter there, huh?

And now, ladies and gentlemen, we take
you to the famous Palladium in Hollywood

for the gala event of the year. The
annual makeup artist and hairstylist's

Star Ball.

And here is your master of ceremonies,
Bob Hope.

Thank you.

You know, it's a pleasure to be here
tonight with you, Picassos of the Powder

Puff. And I want to say that these
makeup men and hairstylists are all

specialists. I can see Cary Grant's
dimple gouger, Rock Hudson's spit

and Bing's jowl grabber sitting right
over there.

Now, we've got a wonderful show here
tonight, and it's especially designed

you makeup people and hairstylists. The
first scene takes place in a maternity

ward.

Frankenstein is pacing up and down in
front of Vampire's room, singing softly,

Que sera, sera.

Whatever it'll be, will be.

Each year, the makeup men and
hairstylists choose the most promising

actresses in Hollywood and give this Deb
Star Ball. We're going to present these

lovely Deb Stars right now, but first,
I'd like you to meet a man who's made a

tremendous contribution to the Makeup
Artist Ball this year, one of

most outstanding and versatile stars, my
good friend James Cagney.

Thank you, Robert.

And I also want to thank the makeup
people for inviting me here tonight. You

see, without them, I couldn't be here.
This that you're looking at is all

makeup. The real me is home in bed.

How about these makeup people, Jimmy?
Aren't they great?

Now, take that purse Westmore, the
Rembrandt of the wrinkles.

He's the first to utter those famous
words, fill them with putty, we can

sandblast later.

Done more for bags than Gladstone.

You know, you begin to get an idea of
the skill of these makeup people and the

hairstylists when you realize that Tony
Curtis and Cass Daly are really

identical twins.

Well, do you know that a makeup man
saved Tony Curtis's life?

During one scene in Trapeze, Burt
Lancaster missed Tony's hands and caught

by the eyelashes.

How about your future plans, Jimmy? What
have you got in the mixer?

Well, we're going to do the story of Lon
Chaney, you know, the man of a thousand

faces. Oh, you're doing that over at
Universal, huh?

Yeah. Well, that explains why you're
invited here tonight. The makeup people

very grateful. You're providing them
with thousands of hours of overtime

Could it explain why they invited you?

Have Larson warm up. I don't think the
gimp will last another inning.

Anyway. I want to say it's just a thrill
to be here, and it looks like your new

picture is going to be a tough one,
Jimmy. Well, that's why I'm here, Bob.

makeup man promised to pull me through,
so I want to help out Mr.

Delcindigo Vez. What do I do? Well, you
help me introduce these Deb stars.

Wonderful. We go.

There's beautiful Deb star Nicola
Michaels from MGM.

From RTO Studios, his lovely blonde,
blue -eyed, Venetia Stevenson.

And here is lovely Danny Crane from
Warner Brothers.

And now for the home team, here is NBC's
delightful Anna Navarro.

And CBS is demanding equal time with one
of the new lovelier blondes of the

glamour group, Nancy Kilgath.

At Pine Town's production, I picked this
lovely young lady as a winner. Here she

is, Roxanne Arlen.

And now from Paramount Studios, we bring
you one of the youngest of our future

stars, lovely Elaine Aikens.

And from American National Studios,

here is pretty Carol Nugent.

Here's a gal that Delbar Productions is
betting on for stardom, lovely vivacious

Stephanie Griffin.

Al Wallace sends us this very lovely
young lady, Miss Autumn Russell.

Autumn Russell, what a weather report.

Beautiful girls, beautiful girls, Bob.
Aren't they beautiful girls, Jimmy?

There they go.

What are you doing tonight, Marty?

And how about those names, Roxanne,
Autumn, Venetia?

Oh, yes, pretty, pretty, but not one of
them has the most beautiful name of all,

Mary. Mary?

Say, if I remember, that was the song
cue in the Seven Little Foys.

Still is.

Go, Jimmy.

For it was Mary.

Mary.

Sweet as any name can be.

But with propriety, society will say,
Marie.

For it is Mary.

Mary.

long before the fashions cave.

For there is something there that sounds
so square.

It's a grand old...

We have two of my favorite people,
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz. You know,

amazing how their I Love Lucy show has
remained at the top of the ratings all

these years without giving away any
money. Of course, Lucy does some pretty

wacky things, but then married to Desi,
what can you expect?

You know, I knew Lucy long before Desi
did. In fact, I've often wondered what

would happen if she'd married me instead
of Desi. Let's see, huh?

I know one thing. She wouldn't be doing
those crazy things if I were her

husband.

I'd talk to you now. Ricky will be home
any minute and I have a seal in the

closet.

Lucy, what are you up to?

Well, I had a chance to get in the show
business and I took it.

I'm an assistant in Captain Blystone's
trained seal act. I'll tell you all

it when you come home from the beach
next week.

We are back.

I'm down at the corner delicatessen.
We'll be home in five minutes.

Oh, but you can't come home. Captain
Blystone is sleeping in your bed.

Captain Blystone?

What's a perfect stranger doing in our
bed?

Well... He isn't exactly perfect. He's
got a broken leg.

He slipped on a flounder. I threw the
seal.

Yeah, listen, I gotta hang up now.

Now, just a minute. Just a minute, Lucy.

You've got a seal in the closet and
Captain Blystone is in our bed.

Where are Fred and I gonna sleep?

Don't bother me with your problems. I
got troubles of my own.

Well, what am I supposed to tell Fred?

Don't tell him anything. Just come on up
here and I'll think of something.

Okay. Okay, bye.

today, darling.

The house was so lonesome without you,
sweetheart.

You're the most wonderful husband in the
whole world.

Did you miss me today, Ricky?

Si.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute, Lucy.

What have you done?

Oh, me?

Yeah. The last time you kissed me like
that, you wrecked the car.

The insurance company canceled all my
insurance on everything, and you did my

laundry in the wiring mixer.

What are you talking about? I give you a
kiss every day. I know, but this is

October. You just kissed me all the way
through Lincoln's birthday.

That's the way it is with you hot
-blooded Latins.

Yeah, I guess so.

That's the landlord's job.

Well, Fred and Ethel are away. I just
thought I'd help. Oh, you're always

helping, like when we went on our
honeymoon.

You thought we'd be lonesome, so you
invited your mother to come along.

Well, I was just trying to help.

Who were you helping, your father?

You have no right to pick on me, Ricky.
I only do things to please you, like any

normal American housewife.

Normal. Hey,

wait a minute. Wait a minute. What is
this?

What are these Texas anchovies doing?

Uh, that's my first dividend. I joined
the Herring of the Month Club.

Oh, that's good thinking. On a dull
night, we can get marinated together.

Oh, you... I gotta get some sleep. I got
a very important audition tomorrow

morning. An audition?

Yes, I'm sort of auditioning for the
Havana Symphony Orchestra.

Oh, honey, how wonderful. Is it a big
orchestra?

A hundred pieces.

Ninety -nine bongos and a sweet potato.

Oh, honey, wonderful.

Oh,

Ethel, baby, let me help you. Oh, Fred
was going to carry one of them, but he

didn't want to throw me off balance.

Honey, where is Fred?

He tipped the cab driver ten cents by
mistake, and he's trying to talk him out

of it.

Fresh hair, you know, makes you feel
like a new man.

Well, you look like a new man.

Took off a little weight, put on a
little hair.

That's my Freddy.

He's my poopsie whoopsie.

Hey,

you're right. He has changed.

All right, break it up. Let's not overdo
it.

here, don't you think you ought to give
Ricky back his golf clubs and his tennis

racket? After all, he was nice enough to
loan them to you.

Big deal.

I couldn't play.

fumigating the closet, you know. Yeah,
what is that? Don't worry about a thing.

Say, how come you came back so soon? I
thought you were going to spend another

week at the beach. Well, we were, but
the grunion stopped running, so we

have anything to eat.

Oh. No, the grunion is not stopped
running. I was just tired of fighting a

pelican for my breakfast every day.

You did what?

I was just tired of fighting a pelican
for my breakfast every day. They did not

stop running.

You're trying to tell me something.

accent, too.

Lucy,

Lucy, come on. Oh, don't go. No. Look,
while we're all here, why don't we play

charades? Charades? Lucy, I'm getting in
the bed.

All right, you get in the bed and we'll
try to guess what you are.

Lucy, Lucy, I've got to get some sleep,
honey. I've got an audition tomorrow and

you invite your friends in the middle of
the night to play games. What do you

think I am?

I feel sorry for you.

I feel sorry for me, too.

Come on, Ethel, let's go upstairs.

Oh, no, you can't go upstairs. Why not?
Oh, why not?

Oh, Lucy?

Lucy,

what have you done now? Well, I was only
trying to surprise him with a little

anniversary present.

Oh, an anniversary present.

What is it? I had your apartment
fumigated.

Fumigated? Yeah, and it has to stay
closed up until all the termites are

Well, that's my wife.

Well, it could be worse. She could be my
wife.

Yeah.

Don't look now, but I think one of your
turbulence has got a wooden leg.

What is that?

The building settling?

Settling? This building is 40 years old.

I'm going to go upstairs.

Oh, no, now relax, Fred.

There might be a man upstairs.

Oh, don't be silly. If there was a man
up there, I'd go.

We're keeping our guests from leaving.
Well, they're staying here.

Staying here? What's wrong with the
hotel?

Yeah, what's wrong with the hotel?

Hotels cost money.

Yeah, what's wrong with here?

I don't know how he does it, but he's
got the first dollar he ever spent.

Well, you can fight it out. I've got to
get some sleep.

Ethel and I are sleeping in there. This
is the boys' room. Come on, Ethel, dear.

Okay.

Wait a minute, Ethel.

Wait a minute, honey. Don't you want to
sleep here with your husband?

Marry Lucy and wind up with Desi.

have friends in the immigration
department.

Hey,

you've got to do something about those
sinuses.

Gracias to you, too.

Are you asleep?

No, I'm awake.

Your eyes are closed.

No, they're open. I just got the lids
over them.

Well, if you think I'm gonna get up and
bite her, you're crazy.

Who's the little girl? Sophie Tucker?

Oh, don't tell me you play that thing.

Well, I have taken a few lessons, yes.

Who, from a seal?

Yeah. Yeah, I took lessons from a seal.
Yeah? Well, let's hear you play it. Oh,

you don't want to hear me play it
tonight. Oh, go on. Give us a tour. Oh,

haven't got my music or anything. Go
ahead.

this is just a reminder, folks, that
Happy New Year 1957 has arrived at your

Chevrolet dealers.

The 57 Chevy is there in all its glory,
so go see it. Get the full story on

Chevy's history -making fuel injection
and turbo glide.

Learn what the word smooth really means.

And I say thanks for the memory.

And now it's time to say tomorrow is the
day to go approve the sweet and smooth

and sassy Chevrolet.

We thank you so much. Oh, yeah, by the
way, we're going to be in Dallas, Texas

on October the 28th to play in a golf
match for United Cerebral Palsy. My

playing partners down there are going to
be Dr. Cary Middlecoff, the open

champion, Governor Shivers of Texas,
that great All -American football star,

Doak Walker, and, of course, the great
Yankee slugger, Mickey Mantle, will be

there to show you how he can hit a ball
out of sight.

Golf ball, that is. We know about the
other.

We'll all be looking for you in Dallas
on October the 28th at the River Lake

Country Club.

for the United Cerebral Palsy Fund. I'll
be back Sunday, November the 18th, the

same time from New York with Perry Como.

Good night, folks, and lots of Happy New
Year's in your 57 Chevys. Thank you

very much.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz appear
tonight through the courtesy of Instant

Coffee and Milk Home Permanent.

who present I Love Lucy every week over
another network.

James Tagney can currently be seen co
-starring with Barbara Stanley in the

production, These Wilder Years.