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1
00:00:02,460 --> 00:00:07,339
Ah, I can't believe we've never
done this. It's so good!
2
00:00:07,549 --> 00:00:10,092
It's so good for Monica.
3
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:14,722
Time's up! My turn.
4
00:00:16,933 --> 00:00:19,351
- That was half an hour?
- It's your timer.
5
00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:22,563
- Okay.
- All right.
6
00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:27,234
I don't like to brag about it,
but I give the best massages.
7
00:00:27,485 --> 00:00:30,320
All right, then massage me up
right nice!
8
00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:35,242
Aah! Aah! Aah.
9
00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:36,952
It's so good, isn't it?
10
00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:39,413
I don't know what I did to deserve it.
11
00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:43,125
Say goodbye to sore muscles!
12
00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:45,335
Goodbye, muscles!
13
00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:38,430
She gives the worst massages ever.
14
00:01:39,724 --> 00:01:42,976
It was like she was torturing me
for information.
15
00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:46,855
I wanted to give it up.
I just didn't know what it was!
16
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:50,651
If it hurts that bad, you should tell her.
17
00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:53,654
For the first time,
I'm in a real relationship.
18
00:01:53,905 --> 00:01:57,032
I won't screw that up by telling the truth.
19
00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:00,702
Dude, look out!
20
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,579
You almost crushed my hat.
21
00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:04,414
Sorry.
22
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:07,376
And the bunny got away.
23
00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:19,138
This would be the place
where you explain the hat.
24
00:02:20,014 --> 00:02:21,181
Oh. Yeah.
25
00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:22,808
There's this play, right?
26
00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:27,020
I'm up for the part of this
cool, suave, international guy.
27
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:29,106
A clothes horse, so I figure...
28
00:02:29,357 --> 00:02:33,902
...everyone at the audition will
wear ultra-hip, high fashion stuff.
29
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:35,904
And you'll make them disappear?
30
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:40,367
Like you could find something
this sophisticated.
31
00:02:42,036 --> 00:02:43,245
Done!
32
00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:48,750
If you want to look good,
come to the store. I'll help you.
33
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,419
- Thanks!
- Sure.
34
00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:52,171
Please, take those off!
35
00:02:55,633 --> 00:02:57,426
Hey, Pheebs. How's it going?
36
00:02:57,594 --> 00:03:01,680
Um, only okay. Because I just
got back from the hospital.
37
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:03,724
Are you all right?
38
00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:06,935
I'm fine.
But, uh, my grandma sort of died.
39
00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:10,647
- Pheebs, sorry.
- It's okay.
40
00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:12,858
She had a really incredible life.
41
00:03:13,109 --> 00:03:16,153
It's not like I won't see her again.
She'll visit.
42
00:03:18,781 --> 00:03:21,408
Maybe she's with us right now.
43
00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:26,538
Right. She's on a new spiritual plane
and she'll come to the coffeehouse.
44
00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:30,250
I just saw two people having sex
in a car right outside!
45
00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:35,672
Uh, Pheebs' grandmother just died.
46
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,134
Oh, my God! I'm so sorry.
47
00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:42,721
Actually, it's kind of cool.
Because it's like...
48
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:45,807
...you know, one life ends
and another begins.
49
00:03:47,518 --> 00:03:49,770
Not the way they're doing it.
50
00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:54,358
What happened? How did she die?
51
00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:55,692
We were in the market...
52
00:03:55,944 --> 00:04:00,614
...and she bent down to get some yogurt
and never came back up again.
53
00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:03,158
I'm so sorry.
54
00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:05,327
The last thing she said was:
55
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:10,457
"You get the eggs, I'll get the yogurt,
and we'll meet at the checkout counter."
56
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,167
You know what?
57
00:04:12,543 --> 00:04:15,003
We will meet at the checkout counter.
58
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:25,597
Since you're returning all this stuff...
59
00:04:25,848 --> 00:04:27,933
...you'll have to wear underwear.
60
00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:31,895
All right.
You'd better show me that too.
61
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:35,649
It's missing something.
62
00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:39,069
Oh, I know. Um, okay.
63
00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:45,033
Really? A purse?
64
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:48,161
It's not a purse. It's a shoulder bag.
65
00:04:48,871 --> 00:04:50,872
- It looks like a woman's purse.
- No.
66
00:04:51,582 --> 00:04:55,669
Trust me, all the men are carrying
them in the spring catalog.
67
00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:58,547
See, look. Men carrying the bag.
68
00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:02,134
See, look. Women carrying the bag.
69
00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:14,646
But it is odd how a woman's purse
looks so good on me, a man.
70
00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:18,150
Exactly. Unisex!
71
00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:21,528
Maybe you need sex.
I had sex a couple days ago.
72
00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:26,616
No, Joey. U-N-I sex.
73
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,704
I ain't going to say no to that!
74
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,964
- Who is it?
- It's Phoebe.
75
00:05:41,215 --> 00:05:42,632
Oh, great!
76
00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:45,302
Oh, you.
77
00:05:46,095 --> 00:05:47,304
Um, what's up?
78
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:52,851
Um, well, I sort of have some bad news.
Can I come in?
79
00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:55,395
Um, no, thanks.
80
00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:58,065
Um...
81
00:05:58,232 --> 00:06:03,153
- Well, um, Grandma died today.
- Wow!
82
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:06,448
Didn't she die like five years ago?
83
00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:09,076
No, she just died today.
84
00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:12,788
Um, we're having
a memorial service tomorrow.
85
00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:15,707
Okay, I know I went to that already.
86
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,459
No, you didn't!
87
00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,252
Then who's been dead?
88
00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:20,670
Lots of people!
89
00:06:23,257 --> 00:06:25,300
Look, are you coming or not?
90
00:06:25,843 --> 00:06:27,010
Um, no.
91
00:06:29,138 --> 00:06:32,349
I thought she was dead,
so I've made my peace.
92
00:06:34,018 --> 00:06:35,811
Plus I'm going to a concert.
93
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:39,564
I'd invite you,
but, um, I only have two tickets left.
94
00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:45,570
- Fine. Okay, enjoy your concert.
- Thanks. Enjoy your funeral!
95
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:50,158
- Hey.
- Hey.
96
00:06:57,333 --> 00:07:00,210
You look just like your son,
Mrs. Tribbiani.
97
00:07:01,629 --> 00:07:04,423
What?
Are you referring to my man's bag?
98
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:09,386
I thought it just looked good,
but it's practical too.
99
00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:11,638
It's got compartments for all your stuff.
100
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:15,016
- Your wallet, keys, address book...
- Your makeup.
101
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,855
What are you doing?
The audition's tomorrow.
102
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,649
Yeah, but sandwich time is right now.
103
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:26,069
You get mustard on that bag,
you can't return it.
104
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:29,114
Why would I return this?
I love this bag!
105
00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:32,617
- All right, then you owe me $350.
- Fine.
106
00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:36,163
Do you take Vasa or Mooster Card?
107
00:07:37,081 --> 00:07:38,123
Joey...
108
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:43,587
Relax, I'll pay you with the money
from the job I'll get. Thanks to you.
109
00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:46,465
What's the part? Auntie Mame?
110
00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:49,301
Don't listen to them. I think it's sexy.
111
00:07:50,094 --> 00:07:51,887
You-and-I sexy?
112
00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:01,980
Hello, Mrs. Pinilla.
Thank you for coming.
113
00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:04,274
Here's your, um, 3-D glasses.
114
00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:09,613
Reverend Pong will say
when to put them on.
115
00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:14,576
Hi, sweetie.
116
00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:16,828
- How are you holding up?
- Fine.
117
00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:19,623
Hey, Pheebs. I'm so sorry.
118
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:24,878
You know what?
My grandma had the exact same bag!
119
00:08:25,796 --> 00:08:27,005
I brought you flowers.
120
00:08:27,256 --> 00:08:28,757
Oh, thanks!
121
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:31,927
Pulling flowers out
makes the bag look masculine.
122
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:37,224
Excuse me, is this the, uh, memorial?
123
00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:39,017
Welcome.
124
00:08:39,393 --> 00:08:40,894
Here's your 3-D glasses.
125
00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:42,771
All right.
126
00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:46,775
So how did you know Frances?
127
00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:49,611
Actually, I hadn't seen her for years.
128
00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:54,616
But, um, I was pretty tight
with her and her daughter.
129
00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:55,992
What's your name?
130
00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:57,953
Frank Buffay.
131
00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:04,334
You know what? Strike that.
My name, uh, actually, is Joe.
132
00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:07,295
Um, uh, Joe, uh, Hill.
133
00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:10,966
- You're Frank Buf...
- Shh. No! Joe Hill.
134
00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:13,343
You just said...
135
00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:16,388
I got to go.
Thank you so much for coming.
136
00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:19,224
But...
137
00:09:20,434 --> 00:09:21,726
Oh, my God!
138
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,103
What happened?
139
00:09:23,479 --> 00:09:24,688
That was my dad.
140
00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:27,482
- Oh, my God! What?
- Check it out!
141
00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:30,527
It's like it's coming right at me.
142
00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:41,288
- Did you catch him?
- What did he say?
143
00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:44,708
He said, um, "Nice to meet you, Glenda."
144
00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:48,128
I couldn't give him my real name.
145
00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:49,462
Why not?
146
00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:51,172
You saw the way he ran.
147
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:54,175
You think he'd talk
to the daughter he abandoned?
148
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,136
What did you say to him?
149
00:09:56,387 --> 00:10:00,599
I said I was the executor of the will
and I needed to talk to him.
150
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:03,685
I'm going to meet him
at the coffeehouse.
151
00:10:03,894 --> 00:10:05,604
Could everyone take their seats?
152
00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:08,481
I just can't think about that now.
153
00:10:08,899 --> 00:10:11,776
- I want to say goodbye to my grandma.
- Okay.
154
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:13,278
Let's go say goodbye.
155
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,960
I'm off to my audition. How do I look?
156
00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:32,922
Great!
That bag will get you that part.
157
00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:34,758
And a date with a man.
158
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:40,847
You know what? Make fun all you want.
This is a great bag.
159
00:10:41,098 --> 00:10:43,725
And it's as handy as it is becoming.
160
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:48,146
Just because you don't understand
something, doesn't make it wrong.
161
00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:51,524
You guys have to get used
to the fact that Joey...
162
00:10:52,276 --> 00:10:54,027
...comes with a bag!
163
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:57,906
I've got to meet my dad.
164
00:10:58,240 --> 00:10:59,908
Will you tell him who you are?
165
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:02,744
Not at first.
I don't want to freak him out.
166
00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:04,871
But aren't you pissed at him?
167
00:11:05,122 --> 00:11:07,082
This guy abandoned you.
168
00:11:07,291 --> 00:11:11,586
If it were me, this guy would be
in some serious physical danger.
169
00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:16,549
I'd walk in there, I'd be like, "Yo, Dad!
170
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:20,011
You and me, outside. Right now!"
171
00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:22,764
I kind of scared myself.
172
00:11:23,974 --> 00:11:26,059
Well, at least you scared someone.
173
00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:29,854
You'd think I'd be angry.
174
00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:34,192
You'd think I'd want to rip
his tiny little head off!
175
00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:37,320
Fortunately, I'm past it.
176
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:41,491
You do seem a little tense.
Here, let me help you.
177
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:43,868
Oh, get off! Ow!
178
00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:47,038
Stop it!
Why are you doing that to me?
179
00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:49,040
What are you talking about?
180
00:11:49,291 --> 00:11:52,085
As a masseuse and a human...
181
00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:55,755
...I'm begging you,
never do that to anyone.
182
00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:58,508
I give good massages.
183
00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:03,805
I gave them to Rachel
before she got allergic.
184
00:12:06,475 --> 00:12:09,227
And Chandler, he loves them!
Watch.
185
00:12:11,021 --> 00:12:13,356
He does not like it. He's in pain!
186
00:12:13,607 --> 00:12:16,317
- No, he's not.
- Yes, he is!
187
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:20,280
- What?
- I'm sorry but, ow!
188
00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:26,119
You've been lying to me?
189
00:12:26,495 --> 00:12:28,079
I can't believe that.
190
00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:30,331
Maybe he didn't want to hurt you.
191
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,835
But the minute we start
to lie to each other...
192
00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:38,214
And by "we"...
193
00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:40,550
...I mean society.
194
00:12:43,387 --> 00:12:45,847
Anytime you're ready.
195
00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:48,475
Ahem, well, you must be new here.
196
00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:51,019
Maybe we get a table,
I buy you a drink.
197
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:53,521
Could you try it without the purse?
198
00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:57,192
Yeah, sure.
199
00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:04,783
Ahem, well, you must be new here.
Maybe we sit...
200
00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:08,036
- Can I ask you something?
- Sure. What?
201
00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:10,872
Well, first, it's not a purse.
202
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:12,707
Okay...
203
00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:13,917
Anytime.
204
00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:16,628
If you think
it's a woman's bag, it's not.
205
00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:18,797
It's a man's bag.
206
00:13:19,673 --> 00:13:22,258
Okay. And go.
207
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:25,970
Let me show you the catalog.
208
00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:27,722
Look. See?
209
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,683
Huh? It's the latest thing.
210
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:33,812
Everyone's got one.
Men, women, children.
211
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:35,396
Do you sell these?
212
00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:40,777
No, these babies sell themselves.
213
00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:43,696
Thank you. That was great.
214
00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:45,740
But I didn't read anything.
215
00:13:45,991 --> 00:13:48,117
I think we've seen enough.
216
00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:51,454
All right, I'll see you.
217
00:13:51,705 --> 00:13:53,498
We got it. We got it.
218
00:13:56,043 --> 00:13:58,253
- Is Rachel here?
- No.
219
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:03,424
Listen, I just wanted to apologize
about the whole massage thing.
220
00:14:04,134 --> 00:14:06,177
I really like them.
221
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:08,930
Please stop.
222
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:12,183
We're supposed to be honest.
223
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:16,104
I wish you could tell me,
"I don't like your massages."
224
00:14:20,776 --> 00:14:23,319
I don't like your massages.
225
00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:27,866
See? It's no big deal.
226
00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:30,869
But now you're crying.
227
00:14:31,078 --> 00:14:35,248
I'm not crying about that.
I'm crying about something at work.
228
00:14:36,458 --> 00:14:39,586
My boyfriend said
he didn't like my massages.
229
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,797
You don't have
to be best at everything.
230
00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:46,676
Oh, my God!
You don't know me at all!
231
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:49,721
Okay...
232
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:52,473
You give the worst massages
in the world.
233
00:14:52,766 --> 00:14:54,767
I'm crying here!
234
00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:56,686
Look, hear me out.
235
00:14:56,896 --> 00:15:00,231
You give the best bad massages.
236
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:04,193
If anybody was looking
for the best bad massage...
237
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:06,696
...and they thought, "Who's the best?"
238
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,406
They'd have to go to you.
239
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,369
Huh.
240
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:17,790
So you're saying that
if there was an award...
241
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:22,587
...for the best bad massage...
Who would get that?
242
00:15:22,838 --> 00:15:24,464
It would be you!
243
00:15:24,673 --> 00:15:27,842
You, Monica!
And you'd get all the votes.
244
00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:31,429
So they could call the award,
"The Monica"?
245
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:34,807
Absolutely.
246
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:37,018
Okay...
247
00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:39,646
I suck!
248
00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:48,196
Thank you for meeting me.
249
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:49,822
Thank you.
250
00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:51,950
Come sit.
251
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:55,495
Sit.
252
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:57,372
Sit!
253
00:15:58,832 --> 00:16:02,210
Um, alrighty.
Um, before we get started, I need you...
254
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:06,631
...to state for the record
that you are, in fact, Frank Buffay.
255
00:16:06,882 --> 00:16:08,841
Yes, I am. Mm-hm.
256
00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:13,513
- Okay.
- So, what did Frances leave me?
257
00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:16,557
- Huh?
- That's why you wanted me to come.
258
00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:18,101
Oh, yes.
259
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:21,145
Yes, she did. She left you, um...
260
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,524
...this lipstick.
261
00:16:25,442 --> 00:16:27,318
Oh. Huh.
262
00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:31,572
Oh, it's, ew, used.
263
00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:35,326
Uh, cool.
264
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:43,167
I have just a few questions to ask,
so I'll get out my official forms.
265
00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:48,589
So question one:
266
00:16:49,299 --> 00:16:53,136
You were married to Frances'
daughter, Lilly. Correct?
267
00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:55,388
Yes, I was.
268
00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:58,933
Okay, um, question two:
Um, did that marriage end...
269
00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:00,768
...A, happily...
270
00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:03,312
...B, medium...
271
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:06,733
...or, C, in the total abandonment...
272
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:09,027
...of her and her two children?
273
00:17:09,903 --> 00:17:11,112
It really says that?
274
00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:12,447
Yeah, see?
275
00:17:14,491 --> 00:17:16,826
I guess then I would have to say C.
276
00:17:18,495 --> 00:17:20,121
Total abandonment.
277
00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:23,416
Reasons for abandonment:
278
00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:27,003
Um, A, top secret government work...
279
00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:28,713
...B, amnesia...
280
00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:32,258
...or, C, you're just a selfish,
irresponsible...
281
00:17:32,509 --> 00:17:34,886
...bad, bad man.
282
00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:37,889
I don't want the lipstick that much.
283
00:17:39,641 --> 00:17:42,935
Would you do me a favor?
284
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:44,896
Would you give Lilly...
285
00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:47,774
...that, please?
- What?
286
00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:50,193
When you see Lilly, give her that note.
287
00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:52,862
I wanted to talk to her
at the memorial...
288
00:17:53,363 --> 00:17:58,117
...but I pictured her getting mad
the way you did, and I chickened out.
289
00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:01,329
I wrote her a note.
Give it to her, please?
290
00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:04,165
But you came to see Lilly?
291
00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:06,250
Yeah. Why?
292
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:09,170
Lilly's dead.
293
00:18:10,714 --> 00:18:11,839
She what?
294
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:13,257
She's dead.
295
00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:14,967
Are you sure?
296
00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:18,262
If she isn't, cremating her
was a big mistake.
297
00:18:19,681 --> 00:18:22,517
I can't believe this.
I just can't believe...
298
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:25,520
How? Oh, my God.
299
00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:27,355
How long ago?
300
00:18:27,689 --> 00:18:29,190
Seventeen years ago.
301
00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:30,942
Oh.
302
00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:33,945
What about the girls?
303
00:18:36,865 --> 00:18:40,701
Well, Ursula is a waitress
and she lives in Soho.
304
00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:44,413
And Phoebe...
305
00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:47,959
...is on this couch.
306
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:59,387
Yep, lipstick and a daughter.
Big day for you.
307
00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:03,474
Phoebe, I, um...
308
00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:05,143
Whoops.
309
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:09,272
It's just, I don't know what to say.
310
00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:15,403
I just can't believe that you're
my daughter. You're so pretty.
311
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:19,448
Yes, well, that's neither here nor there.
312
00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:24,537
Would it make you feel
better if I said...
313
00:19:24,788 --> 00:19:28,374
...that I was very, very sorry I left?
314
00:19:30,752 --> 00:19:33,963
It doesn't matter what you say.
It won't make a difference.
315
00:19:34,214 --> 00:19:35,673
So you can just go.
316
00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:42,471
Well, you know, in my defense,
I was a lousy father.
317
00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:45,433
- That's your defense?
- Yes, it is.
318
00:19:45,684 --> 00:19:49,687
I burned the formula,
and I put your diapers on backwards.
319
00:19:49,938 --> 00:19:54,483
I made up a song to sing to you,
but that made you cry even more.
320
00:19:55,402 --> 00:19:56,569
You make up songs?
321
00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:59,906
Well, no, just that one.
But it was stupid.
322
00:20:00,157 --> 00:20:02,950
Let's see, how did it go? Um...
323
00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:07,371
Sleepy girl, sleepy girl
324
00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:10,791
Why won't you go to sleep?
325
00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:14,086
Sleepy girl, sleepy girl
326
00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:16,464
You're keeping me up
327
00:20:35,525 --> 00:20:37,443
I'm not very good at this.
328
00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:42,031
Well, I am.
329
00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:48,704
Not yet. No.
330
00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:55,419
Hey.
331
00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:57,421
Hey! How'd the audition go?
332
00:20:57,839 --> 00:20:59,257
Estelle said I didn't get it.
333
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:02,718
What? Why?
Joey, you were so ready for it.
334
00:21:03,011 --> 00:21:04,345
I thought so too...
335
00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:07,223
...but the casting people
had problems with me.
336
00:21:07,474 --> 00:21:08,641
What kind of problem?
337
00:21:08,976 --> 00:21:11,560
To tell you the truth...
338
00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:14,021
...they had a problem with the bag!
- Oh, my God!
339
00:21:15,565 --> 00:21:18,109
You know what?
It was a stupid play anyway.
340
00:21:19,069 --> 00:21:20,820
It's time to give up the bag.
341
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,614
I don't want to give up the bag.
342
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:26,617
I don't have to give it up, do I, Rach?
343
00:21:30,038 --> 00:21:32,456
You think I should give up the bag!
344
00:21:32,749 --> 00:21:37,169
Joey, I'm sorry.
As terrific as I think you are with it...
345
00:21:39,339 --> 00:21:44,051
...I just don't know if the world
is ready for you and your bag.
346
00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:48,139
I can't believe this!
347
00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:51,559
Wait, I'm not saying
you shouldn't have a bag.
348
00:21:52,811 --> 00:21:56,981
There are other bags
that are maybe a little less...
349
00:21:57,774 --> 00:21:59,275
...controversial.
350
00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:02,987
Yeah, um, they're called wallets.25080
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