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1
00:00:07,746 --> 00:00:09,444
-BARB: Shh!
-[lively chatter]
2
00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:11,924
-Shh, shh!
-[chatter quiets]
3
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:14,231
[singsongy]:
I got a little holiday surprise.
4
00:00:14,362 --> 00:00:16,103
-Remember when
the AC unit broke?
-GREGG: Yeah.
5
00:00:16,277 --> 00:00:19,280
Eric got heat stroke.
He's still not back.
6
00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:21,412
Well, turns out
the contractors overcharged us,
7
00:00:21,543 --> 00:00:23,153
and we got a partial refund.
8
00:00:23,327 --> 00:00:26,374
So, yeah, we got
a lot of money to spend!
9
00:00:26,504 --> 00:00:28,202
-Nine million?
-500 big boys.
10
00:00:28,332 --> 00:00:30,117
[gasps] We should donate it.
11
00:00:30,987 --> 00:00:33,076
Oh, no, no. Uh, to a...
to, like, good cause.
12
00:00:33,207 --> 00:00:35,426
-[woman coughs]
-Excuse me.
13
00:00:35,557 --> 00:00:37,211
We're getting
a new coffee maker.
14
00:00:37,385 --> 00:00:39,169
Ours is old. It smells.
It burns when you touch it.
15
00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:42,346
Yeah, I hear you, but I have
something far more practical:
16
00:00:42,433 --> 00:00:45,393
matching pan-denominational
holiday sweaters.
17
00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:46,568
Behold!
18
00:00:46,698 --> 00:00:47,612
-Oh.
-[group murmuring]
19
00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:49,049
-Ooh.
-Oh.
20
00:00:49,179 --> 00:00:50,398
Sorry.
21
00:00:50,528 --> 00:00:51,703
C-section.
22
00:00:51,790 --> 00:00:53,357
My cat's, not mine. [chuckles]
23
00:00:53,531 --> 00:00:56,317
-Behold! Yeah!
-[group grumbling, groaning]
24
00:00:56,447 --> 00:00:57,970
We can all wear these
25
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:01,583
for our first annual
East Hollywood DMV holiday card.
26
00:01:01,713 --> 00:01:04,281
Can we go back
to the belly scar?
27
00:01:04,367 --> 00:01:06,327
♪ ♪
28
00:01:09,286 --> 00:01:12,289
How cool were
those sweaters, huh?
29
00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:15,423
In, like, a...
like, a retro kitschy way.
30
00:01:15,553 --> 00:01:18,121
-We all hated them.
-Yeah. Oh, me, too. [chuckles]
31
00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:19,601
What a disaster.
32
00:01:19,731 --> 00:01:21,298
So, I talked to everyone,
and we all agreed.
33
00:01:21,385 --> 00:01:23,735
We want this exact coffee maker.
34
00:01:23,866 --> 00:01:25,737
Oh, nice.
35
00:01:25,868 --> 00:01:27,217
Yummy.
36
00:01:27,390 --> 00:01:28,783
How are you gonna get Barb
to change her mind?
37
00:01:28,914 --> 00:01:30,438
-Eek.
-I'm gonna bully her
38
00:01:30,612 --> 00:01:32,309
into realizing that
the sweaters are a bad idea,
39
00:01:32,483 --> 00:01:34,181
and then tell her that
no one will like her again
40
00:01:34,311 --> 00:01:35,704
unless she buys us
the coffee maker.
41
00:01:35,834 --> 00:01:37,184
Correct me if I'm wrong,
42
00:01:37,314 --> 00:01:39,447
but don't you catch
more bees with honey?
43
00:01:39,621 --> 00:01:42,102
Mm, you are wrong. It's "You
catch more flies with honey."
44
00:01:42,276 --> 00:01:43,625
Why would bees want
their own product?
45
00:01:43,799 --> 00:01:45,148
That'd be like you going home
and taking driver tests
46
00:01:45,235 --> 00:01:47,411
or me taking a bunch of photos
of myself.
47
00:01:47,542 --> 00:01:49,326
Mm. That's kind of what you do,
though. [chuckles]
48
00:01:50,675 --> 00:01:52,372
I just think
if you want a coffee maker,
49
00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:54,462
you're-you're going about it
the wrong way.
50
00:01:54,636 --> 00:01:56,768
-No, I'm not.
-I'm gonna talk to Barb.
51
00:01:56,899 --> 00:01:59,989
Yeah. I'm gonna win her over
with kindness and persuasion.
52
00:02:00,163 --> 00:02:02,122
I hate to undermine
your confidence,
53
00:02:02,296 --> 00:02:03,514
especially when
you're dressed like
54
00:02:03,645 --> 00:02:05,908
a fourth grader
ready for their class picture,
55
00:02:06,038 --> 00:02:07,257
but I have zero faith in you.
56
00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:08,650
Thanks, Mom.
57
00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:11,435
-Do not call me Mom.
-Stop acting like her.
58
00:02:11,609 --> 00:02:12,958
[Gregg groans]
59
00:02:13,089 --> 00:02:14,830
Vic, I can't believe this.
60
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,267
The DMV denied my request
for a new chair.
61
00:02:17,441 --> 00:02:19,269
Oh, yay. We're still on this.
62
00:02:19,356 --> 00:02:22,185
I provided dates,
documentation, pictures,
63
00:02:22,272 --> 00:02:24,056
and they said
they still can't help me.
64
00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:25,971
It's like they're treating us
like customers now.
65
00:02:26,102 --> 00:02:27,930
Bro, chill.
66
00:02:28,017 --> 00:02:29,236
It's Monday morning.
67
00:02:29,410 --> 00:02:31,151
It's Splash Fountain time.
68
00:02:31,281 --> 00:02:33,196
Oh, I'm not in the mood.
69
00:02:33,327 --> 00:02:35,677
You're not in the mood
to watch a broken water fountain
70
00:02:35,807 --> 00:02:38,027
spray people in the face
with water?
71
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,116
It's literally awesome.
72
00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:42,466
[sighs]
73
00:02:42,597 --> 00:02:44,120
Just call employee services.
74
00:02:44,251 --> 00:02:46,427
-That's a waste of time.
-What do you got to lose?
75
00:02:46,557 --> 00:02:49,908
My mind? My dignity? My soul?
76
00:02:50,039 --> 00:02:52,346
-So nothing.
-[dial tone hums]
77
00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:55,175
[line ringing]
78
00:02:55,349 --> 00:02:56,872
KEVIN:
Hi. This is
DMV employee services.
79
00:02:57,046 --> 00:02:58,482
How can I help you?
80
00:02:58,613 --> 00:03:00,484
You're welcome.
81
00:03:00,615 --> 00:03:01,920
I'll tell you
how you can help me.
82
00:03:02,094 --> 00:03:03,313
You can start by
telling me how in the hell
83
00:03:03,444 --> 00:03:05,620
the DMV could deny my request
for a new chair.
84
00:03:05,707 --> 00:03:07,535
I'm so sorry.
85
00:03:07,665 --> 00:03:09,406
It sounds like this has been
a frustrating experience.
86
00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:11,321
Yeah, you're damn straight
it has been.
87
00:03:11,495 --> 00:03:13,062
My name is Kevin,
88
00:03:13,149 --> 00:03:14,977
and I'm going to do
everything in my power to help.
89
00:03:15,107 --> 00:03:17,632
Can I get your name?
90
00:03:17,719 --> 00:03:18,937
Yeah.
91
00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:20,852
Yeah, you can, uh, Kevin.
92
00:03:20,983 --> 00:03:22,202
It's Gregg.
93
00:03:23,725 --> 00:03:25,248
Mosley.
94
00:03:29,339 --> 00:03:30,514
-[knocks]
-Hey, you.
95
00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:33,125
-Welcome.
-Oh, wow. Mounted fish.
96
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:37,086
I did not realize
you were into taxidermy.
97
00:03:37,173 --> 00:03:38,305
My second cousin was, too.
98
00:03:38,478 --> 00:03:40,481
We thought it was good fun
until we found out
99
00:03:40,567 --> 00:03:42,004
he had a basement family.
100
00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:44,441
That is crazy.
We used to call them "cellars."
101
00:03:44,528 --> 00:03:46,313
-Right.
-Anyhoo.
102
00:03:46,442 --> 00:03:48,924
-What can I do you for?
-Nothing.
103
00:03:49,098 --> 00:03:51,535
Just came to say hi and hang.
104
00:03:51,666 --> 00:03:54,408
Little hang time, little
kick back, little Barb time.
105
00:03:55,409 --> 00:03:58,934
I know that you usually
eat lunch by yourself,
106
00:03:59,064 --> 00:04:03,243
but I wondered if you wanted
to grab a little taco.
107
00:04:04,331 --> 00:04:05,897
You want to grab lunch with me?
108
00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:07,029
Yeah.
109
00:04:07,116 --> 00:04:08,813
Barb and Colette?
110
00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:10,075
Yeah.
111
00:04:10,206 --> 00:04:12,121
I see what you're doing.
112
00:04:12,295 --> 00:04:13,383
Oh, yeah?
113
00:04:13,514 --> 00:04:15,080
You want a gal pal.
114
00:04:15,167 --> 00:04:16,255
Yeah. [laughs]
115
00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:17,257
Exactly.
116
00:04:17,387 --> 00:04:19,171
You caught me. [chuckles]
117
00:04:19,302 --> 00:04:22,436
I just-- I think that you are...
118
00:04:22,566 --> 00:04:24,002
dope,
119
00:04:24,133 --> 00:04:27,571
and I wanted to know
where you get your cool vests.
120
00:04:27,702 --> 00:04:30,748
Gap Kids, "Funky Boy" section.
121
00:04:32,097 --> 00:04:33,403
I'll take you shopping sometime.
122
00:04:33,577 --> 00:04:35,275
Sounds good.
123
00:04:35,405 --> 00:04:37,189
Just, uh, shoot me a text.
[laughs]
124
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:39,279
You want to text
outside of work?
125
00:04:39,409 --> 00:04:40,236
Heck yeah, I do.
126
00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:41,629
Change me in your phone from
127
00:04:41,759 --> 00:04:43,065
"Colette Work"
to "Colette Bestie."
128
00:04:43,195 --> 00:04:45,589
Or-or "Colette Vestie."
129
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,112
[both laugh]
130
00:04:47,243 --> 00:04:48,200
You're good.
131
00:04:48,331 --> 00:04:49,724
You vest believe it.
132
00:04:49,898 --> 00:04:51,291
[laughs] Come on.
133
00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:52,814
What can't she do?
134
00:04:52,988 --> 00:04:54,990
-[both laughing]
-Yeah.
135
00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:59,386
[whistling a tune]
136
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,518
Hmm? Mm.
137
00:05:05,087 --> 00:05:07,481
Uh, why are you touching my PP?
138
00:05:07,611 --> 00:05:10,745
I'm sorry, I'm... I'm pretty
sure this is my protein powder.
139
00:05:10,832 --> 00:05:11,920
Think again, bud.
140
00:05:12,050 --> 00:05:13,400
This is whey-based, bioavailable
141
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:15,184
and loaded with
collagen peptides.
142
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,926
You seem like more of
a Muscle Milk kind of guy to me.
143
00:05:18,056 --> 00:05:20,581
Really? Muscle Milk? Maybe
when I was in eighth grade.
144
00:05:20,711 --> 00:05:21,886
No, this is my powder.
145
00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:23,845
I only use a complex blend of
146
00:05:24,019 --> 00:05:25,586
whey, pea
and brown rice protein...
147
00:05:25,716 --> 00:05:28,415
BOTH:
For the branched-chain
amino acids.
148
00:05:28,545 --> 00:05:30,939
Oh, my God. You are a bro.
149
00:05:31,069 --> 00:05:32,984
I mean, I'm not not a bro.
150
00:05:33,158 --> 00:05:34,638
But how?
151
00:05:34,769 --> 00:05:37,206
You know the news and
care about people's feelings.
152
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:38,990
Um, I'm a human being.
153
00:05:39,121 --> 00:05:40,601
-Yeah, yeah.
-Huh.
154
00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:42,211
Hey, did you want
to train later?
155
00:05:42,385 --> 00:05:43,647
-Yeah, I'd love to.
-Yeah, great.
156
00:05:43,821 --> 00:05:45,040
I got some kettle bells
in my van.
157
00:05:45,214 --> 00:05:46,476
-We can...
-Eh, kettle bells?
158
00:05:46,607 --> 00:05:47,695
What is this, 2013?
159
00:05:47,869 --> 00:05:49,218
I'm gonna go on a ten-mile hike
160
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,828
with my neighbor's kid
in my backpack.
161
00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:52,395
He's a real chunker.
162
00:05:52,526 --> 00:05:54,266
Okay. All right.
163
00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:56,051
Uh, I'm gonna-- I'll go first.
164
00:05:56,138 --> 00:05:57,618
-Okay. Okay.
-Yeah.
165
00:05:57,748 --> 00:05:59,010
That's okay.
166
00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:01,665
LA four, Tampa eight,
you're up next.
167
00:06:01,796 --> 00:06:03,101
Little Shaq, you're on deck.
168
00:06:03,275 --> 00:06:04,015
[automated voice
speaking indistinctly]
169
00:06:04,189 --> 00:06:05,626
Mm, can you go a little...?
170
00:06:05,756 --> 00:06:08,411
Barb and I are text buddies now.
171
00:06:08,498 --> 00:06:10,239
How you like dem apples?
172
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:11,632
What apples?
You don't have any apples.
173
00:06:11,719 --> 00:06:13,590
-It's just an expression.
-[camera beeps, clicks]
174
00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:16,419
Wait, you told Barb she could
text you outside of work?
175
00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:19,161
Yep. Friendship initiated.
176
00:06:19,291 --> 00:06:22,817
Phase one of Operation
Coffee Maker is complete.
177
00:06:22,947 --> 00:06:24,253
-Mm...
-What's wrong?
178
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,342
Oh, you're making
that face you made
179
00:06:26,516 --> 00:06:28,823
when I came back from Jamaica
with cornrows.
180
00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:30,694
Oh, no, nothing, no.
181
00:06:30,825 --> 00:06:33,175
I'm sure Barb has very clear
boundaries around all of this.
182
00:06:33,305 --> 00:06:34,698
[phone dings]
183
00:06:34,872 --> 00:06:36,396
Oh, it's Barb.
184
00:06:36,570 --> 00:06:37,484
-Oh, it's a cat meme.
-[phone dinging repeatedly]
185
00:06:37,614 --> 00:06:39,181
[laughs]:
It's another cat meme.
186
00:06:39,311 --> 00:06:40,269
Oh, it's another one.
187
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,141
Wow, she really likes cats.
188
00:06:43,272 --> 00:06:45,622
And a picture of me
looking at cat memes.
189
00:06:45,709 --> 00:06:47,581
Oh, no, no, that one was me.
190
00:06:47,755 --> 00:06:49,409
I just wanted to capture
this moment where you enter
191
00:06:49,539 --> 00:06:51,280
a world that you will
never return from.
192
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,413
[phone continues dinging]
193
00:07:00,637 --> 00:07:02,422
[slurping]
194
00:07:02,552 --> 00:07:04,467
Knock, knock. Good morning.
195
00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:06,861
-You look rough, Coco.
-Yeah.
196
00:07:06,991 --> 00:07:08,340
I didn't get much sleep
last night
197
00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:10,038
because we were texting
all night.
198
00:07:10,212 --> 00:07:11,256
Hey, you're telling me.
199
00:07:11,387 --> 00:07:12,649
We were... [imitates clicking]
200
00:07:12,823 --> 00:07:16,392
Yeah, thank God
there's this magic elixir
201
00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:18,133
that makes the sleepies go away.
202
00:07:19,308 --> 00:07:21,005
Would you like to grab
a cup of joe with me?
203
00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:24,487
-Problem is, the coffee maker
in the break room...
-Ah!
204
00:07:24,618 --> 00:07:26,924
-Let me stop you right there.
-Oh.
205
00:07:27,055 --> 00:07:28,970
I know exactly what you need.
206
00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:30,972
-[hand dryer whirring]
-You're gonna stick
your mug in here!
207
00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:33,104
It is the best pick-me-up
in the city!
208
00:07:33,235 --> 00:07:35,585
It's gonna take you
from tired to wired!
209
00:07:35,759 --> 00:07:37,500
Okay.
210
00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:39,676
Wow.
211
00:07:40,677 --> 00:07:42,026
I love it!
212
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,419
Yeah.
213
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:47,510
I can see why
people would hate it...
214
00:07:48,642 --> 00:07:50,165
...but I love it!
215
00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:52,602
[laughing]
216
00:07:52,733 --> 00:07:54,952
Hey, buddy. You ready
to ride Splash Fountain?
217
00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:56,650
Um, hold on.
218
00:07:56,780 --> 00:07:58,129
Uh, can you keep it down?
219
00:07:58,260 --> 00:08:00,871
Kevin is escalating
my complaint.
220
00:08:01,916 --> 00:08:04,309
Uh, no, no problem, Kev.
It's just a coworker.
221
00:08:05,180 --> 00:08:06,703
Coworker?
222
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:08,531
What?
223
00:08:08,705 --> 00:08:11,012
Uh, Noa. Hey there, pal.
224
00:08:11,142 --> 00:08:13,449
Ready for our previously
agreed upon hang sesh?
225
00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:14,798
Last time I saw you,
226
00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:16,539
-you made fun of
my kettle bells.
-Ha!
227
00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:18,976
I was razzing you.
That's what bros do.
228
00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:20,804
-Razz me back.
-Uh, uh...
229
00:08:20,935 --> 00:08:23,807
-You're kind of
a hyper man-child.
-Okay, okay.
230
00:08:23,938 --> 00:08:26,244
-We're still kind of
getting the hang of it.
-Yeah.
231
00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:29,204
But you and I got a date
with a broken water fountain.
232
00:08:29,378 --> 00:08:33,077
Okay, Kev, I'm entering
my chair's SKU number.
233
00:08:33,207 --> 00:08:34,731
KEVIN:
Well, hey, hope you don't
pull a "Tuesday donkey."
234
00:08:34,861 --> 00:08:37,299
[laughing breathlessly]:
You son of a bitch.
235
00:08:37,472 --> 00:08:38,735
You went there.
236
00:08:38,866 --> 00:08:40,171
Inside jokes?
237
00:08:40,345 --> 00:08:42,086
Those were
the kind of jokes we had.
238
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,220
Come on, Noa. Let's go.
239
00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:47,135
Oh, oh.
You're an angry little man
240
00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:49,354
-who makes people uncomfortable.
-What?
241
00:08:49,485 --> 00:08:51,661
Sorry. I'm-I'm finding it.
I'll find it.
242
00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:52,793
-Okay. Let's go.
-[fingers snap]
243
00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:54,969
Okay.
244
00:08:55,099 --> 00:08:57,014
♪ ♪
245
00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:04,674
Pretty cool, right?
246
00:09:04,805 --> 00:09:05,980
[hoarsely]:
Yeah, it was-- uh, sorry.
247
00:09:06,154 --> 00:09:07,111
[clears throat]
248
00:09:07,242 --> 00:09:08,809
My mouth is so dry.
249
00:09:08,983 --> 00:09:12,421
Um, Barb, I need to talk to you
about something.
250
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,858
I have a Zoom meeting
with the consultants right now.
251
00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:16,251
Uh?
252
00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:17,687
-But we can talk later.
-Oh.
253
00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:19,907
I planned us
a little girls' night.
254
00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:20,951
A girls' night?
255
00:09:21,691 --> 00:09:23,345
With me-- [stammers]
Am I the girl?
256
00:09:23,475 --> 00:09:24,912
-That's right.
-[groans]
257
00:09:24,999 --> 00:09:27,131
And being friends
with the boss has its perks.
258
00:09:27,262 --> 00:09:29,177
[whispers]:
We can sneak out a little early.
259
00:09:29,264 --> 00:09:30,787
-[phone dings]
-Yes.
260
00:09:31,962 --> 00:09:33,573
Oh! Wait.
261
00:09:33,703 --> 00:09:34,965
How are you sending this?
262
00:09:35,096 --> 00:09:36,663
You don't have anything
in your hands.
263
00:09:37,707 --> 00:09:38,926
Are you scheduling these?
264
00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:41,319
[chuckles weakly]
265
00:09:42,277 --> 00:09:44,627
All right, so, so how does
Splash Fountain work?
266
00:09:44,758 --> 00:09:46,542
-Oh, it is the best.
-Yeah?
267
00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:48,762
-You see that fountain
right there?
-Mm-hmm.
268
00:09:48,892 --> 00:09:52,026
It has the most inconsistent
water presh in the build'.
269
00:09:52,156 --> 00:09:53,680
Isn't that bad?
270
00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:55,899
For them.
It's a total mystery box.
271
00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:57,727
If too many people are
flushing the toilets,
272
00:09:57,858 --> 00:10:00,164
the fountain pressure gets
so low they can't get a drop.
273
00:10:00,295 --> 00:10:03,037
But when the water flow
kicks back in,
274
00:10:03,167 --> 00:10:06,127
that little mother goes
[imitates splashing] crazy.
275
00:10:06,214 --> 00:10:07,389
Ah.
276
00:10:07,563 --> 00:10:08,869
Wait, wait, wait. What's--
277
00:10:09,043 --> 00:10:10,653
I don't get it.
How do you win this game?
278
00:10:10,784 --> 00:10:13,438
Win? I don't know, man.
How do you win at surfing?
279
00:10:13,525 --> 00:10:15,615
You register for a competition,
and they take your best wave
280
00:10:15,745 --> 00:10:17,181
-out of five heats...
-[groans]
281
00:10:17,268 --> 00:10:18,835
I'm so sad I asked.
282
00:10:18,966 --> 00:10:20,228
Oh, wait. Shh, shh.
283
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,883
-[grunts]
-We got a split-stream. Oh, yes!
284
00:10:23,013 --> 00:10:25,146
That's when it goes up
both sides of their nose.
285
00:10:25,276 --> 00:10:26,713
-Okay, so you're-- Oh.
-[laughing]
286
00:10:26,843 --> 00:10:28,323
So you're happy
'cause she's sad.
287
00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:29,803
Is that, is that it?
288
00:10:29,890 --> 00:10:32,544
Well, this particular person
is sad, yes,
289
00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:35,286
but I'd be just as happy
if she were angry, too.
290
00:10:35,373 --> 00:10:38,420
-[groans]
-AUTOMATED VOICE:
Now serving B-18 at...
291
00:10:38,594 --> 00:10:39,769
I'm sorry, mate.
292
00:10:39,856 --> 00:10:41,249
I'm struggling
to find joy in this.
293
00:10:41,379 --> 00:10:42,642
Yeah, me, too, Noa.
294
00:10:42,816 --> 00:10:44,513
Me, too.
295
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:45,862
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Now serving...
296
00:10:45,993 --> 00:10:47,951
♪ ♪
297
00:10:50,824 --> 00:10:52,956
Wait, where is your car?
298
00:10:53,087 --> 00:10:54,697
Oh, parking there is crazy,
299
00:10:54,828 --> 00:10:58,396
so I called us our very own
Sobo Self-Driving Car!
300
00:10:58,483 --> 00:11:00,355
Oh. Yeah, like a Waymo.
301
00:11:00,442 --> 00:11:02,879
Better. I can afford a Sobo.
302
00:11:03,010 --> 00:11:05,273
Uh, I don't know.
An automated vehicle?
303
00:11:05,403 --> 00:11:07,928
I don't really do driverless.
304
00:11:08,015 --> 00:11:10,234
Well, I am banned
from Uber and Lyft. Yeah.
305
00:11:10,321 --> 00:11:12,323
They should really tell you
up front you're not allowed
306
00:11:12,454 --> 00:11:14,021
-to change in the backseat.
-Mm.
307
00:11:14,108 --> 00:11:15,936
Sobo, unlock doors.
308
00:11:16,110 --> 00:11:17,851
[vehicle beeps, whirs]
309
00:11:17,981 --> 00:11:19,461
That's kind of cool. [chuckles]
310
00:11:21,332 --> 00:11:24,118
-Oh. What is all that?
-[chuckles]
311
00:11:24,248 --> 00:11:26,163
If you thought
the last two days were fun,
312
00:11:26,337 --> 00:11:28,688
tonight's about to be
downright epic.
313
00:11:28,862 --> 00:11:31,038
Sobo, go!
314
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:36,086
Oh. Lei for tiki bar.
315
00:11:36,173 --> 00:11:37,000
Yeah.
316
00:11:37,131 --> 00:11:39,829
Bib rib for the smokehouse.
317
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,266
-What is that?
-Lyrics for karaoke.
318
00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:43,703
These are in Korean.
319
00:11:43,877 --> 00:11:45,617
Mat-Seum-Ni-Da.
320
00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:47,794
That means, "That's right."
Don't worry. You'll pick it up.
321
00:11:47,924 --> 00:11:50,622
-I'll pick up Korean?
-Mm.
322
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,320
Now, it's werewolf night
at The Cave.
323
00:11:52,450 --> 00:11:53,930
Let's hear your howl.
324
00:11:54,104 --> 00:11:55,889
Don't have one.
325
00:11:56,019 --> 00:11:57,238
Come on. Let me hear it.
326
00:11:57,368 --> 00:11:58,630
-A howl?
-Mm.
327
00:11:58,718 --> 00:11:59,849
Wahoo.
328
00:11:59,936 --> 00:12:00,937
Come on, like this.
329
00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:03,723
[howling wildly]
330
00:12:03,897 --> 00:12:06,726
[both howling]
331
00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:14,124
Barb, you have to spend
the money on a coffee maker!
332
00:12:14,255 --> 00:12:15,299
The money?
333
00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:16,387
-Yeah.
-From yesterday?
334
00:12:16,518 --> 00:12:17,954
Yeah.
335
00:12:18,041 --> 00:12:19,347
Girl, I already bought
the sweaters.
336
00:12:20,565 --> 00:12:23,612
Th-Then the texting,
the blowing,
337
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,962
the fantasy curling league
you made me join,
338
00:12:26,093 --> 00:12:28,748
I've been doing all of this
for nothing?
339
00:12:28,922 --> 00:12:30,314
[scoffs]
340
00:12:31,446 --> 00:12:33,230
[stammers softly]
341
00:12:33,404 --> 00:12:34,710
I didn't mean that.
342
00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:36,103
Hey, h-how's this? How's this?
343
00:12:36,277 --> 00:12:38,496
[howling]
344
00:12:38,627 --> 00:12:40,237
Yeah, it's perfect. [scoffs]
345
00:12:41,673 --> 00:12:43,371
But doesn't matter now.
346
00:12:43,501 --> 00:12:44,764
-Sobo, stop.
-[tires screech]
347
00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:47,723
No, no, no, no. Come on.
Sobo, keep going.
348
00:12:47,854 --> 00:12:48,811
-Sobo, stop.
-[tires screech]
349
00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:50,595
No. Sobo, go.
350
00:12:50,726 --> 00:12:52,249
BARB:
No, Sobo, stop.
351
00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:53,903
COLETTE:
Sobo, go. Go, go, go, go, go.
352
00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:55,209
Go, go.
353
00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:57,341
-[vehicle powering down]
-[locks click]
354
00:12:57,472 --> 00:12:58,647
That's not good.
355
00:12:58,778 --> 00:12:59,822
[chuckles]:
Oh.
356
00:13:01,693 --> 00:13:03,217
COLETTE:
It's going again?
357
00:13:03,347 --> 00:13:06,829
Well, trust isn't the only thing
you broke today, Colette.
358
00:13:09,614 --> 00:13:11,834
COLETTE:
Yeah, we're going in a circle.
359
00:13:17,971 --> 00:13:20,408
BARB:
I think this is lap 76 or so,
360
00:13:20,495 --> 00:13:22,105
but we should be okay.
361
00:13:22,279 --> 00:13:25,108
It's only 18 hours until
the car runs out of juice.
362
00:13:27,110 --> 00:13:30,810
Well, I-I texted
Vic and Gregg, so...
363
00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:32,246
-I don't know.
-[sighs]
364
00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:35,379
Again, Barb,
I am really, really sorry.
365
00:13:35,466 --> 00:13:37,947
[sighs] Well, yeah.
366
00:13:38,034 --> 00:13:40,950
I mean, I tried
to help someone in need,
367
00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:43,300
and this is the thanks I get.
368
00:13:43,431 --> 00:13:44,693
[Barb sighs]
369
00:13:44,780 --> 00:13:47,087
Somebody in need? Wait, who's...
370
00:13:49,741 --> 00:13:52,179
Oh, well, this is awkward.
371
00:13:52,309 --> 00:13:53,267
Well...
372
00:13:53,354 --> 00:13:55,922
I mean, you came into my office,
373
00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:58,402
clearly desperate
for friendship.
374
00:13:58,576 --> 00:14:00,404
I'm not desperate
for friendship, Barb.
375
00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:03,494
You texted me all night long.
376
00:14:03,581 --> 00:14:05,453
You wouldn't stop replying.
377
00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:08,717
I was like, "This has to be the
last meme this chick sends me,"
378
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,154
but you kept begging for more.
379
00:14:11,285 --> 00:14:12,590
COLETTE:
So, wait.
380
00:14:12,721 --> 00:14:15,376
You thought you were
doing me a favor?
381
00:14:15,506 --> 00:14:16,594
[Barb scoffs]
382
00:14:16,725 --> 00:14:18,248
Look, I know what it's like.
383
00:14:18,379 --> 00:14:21,208
My older sister is
also a Colette.
384
00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:25,647
It's no secret you've been in
a bit of a happiness dry spell.
385
00:14:25,821 --> 00:14:27,562
Getting stuck
in the bathroom window,
386
00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:30,608
breaking into a coworker's van,
387
00:14:30,782 --> 00:14:32,523
lying about your career...
388
00:14:32,654 --> 00:14:33,915
[stammers] Okay.
389
00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:35,831
It's not like
your life is exactly...
390
00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:38,790
I just got a promotion
at my dream job.
391
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,575
I have so many friends
I have to eat lunch
392
00:14:40,662 --> 00:14:43,056
alone in my office
to get a moment of peace.
393
00:14:43,752 --> 00:14:45,667
So, yeah. [chuckles]
394
00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:48,365
I'm doing just fine.
395
00:14:48,452 --> 00:14:49,758
Yeah.
396
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,455
All that does sound nice.
397
00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:53,980
Yeah, minus the car sickness.
398
00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:56,069
♪ ♪
399
00:15:01,596 --> 00:15:03,119
Oh, my God.
400
00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:04,294
Creeper.
401
00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:06,383
Why are you
just sitting in the dark?
402
00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:07,907
'Cause everything sucks.
403
00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:09,909
Where's that old man
you're friends with,
404
00:15:10,039 --> 00:15:11,693
and why isn't he
dealing with this?
405
00:15:11,867 --> 00:15:13,564
You mean the old man
I used to be friends with.
406
00:15:13,738 --> 00:15:15,523
So, lights back off or...?
407
00:15:17,873 --> 00:15:20,180
He's busy with
his new friend Kevin.
408
00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:24,184
This feels like
it's gonna be very boring,
409
00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:26,621
but I'll give you until
I'm done with my yogurt.
410
00:15:26,751 --> 00:15:30,059
So, Gregg called the
DMV helpline about his chair,
411
00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:32,192
and now he and
the employee services guy
412
00:15:32,279 --> 00:15:34,411
are like best friends.
413
00:15:34,542 --> 00:15:35,717
Oh, my God.
414
00:15:35,847 --> 00:15:37,371
You know, I really do
find so much joy
415
00:15:37,501 --> 00:15:38,981
when people are
as dumb as they look.
416
00:15:39,068 --> 00:15:41,984
The DMV helpline is AI.
417
00:15:42,115 --> 00:15:44,508
No, it's not. I heard him.
It's a real person.
418
00:15:44,639 --> 00:15:46,728
No, it's not. Mira.
419
00:15:47,816 --> 00:15:48,730
[fingernail clicking on phone]
420
00:15:48,817 --> 00:15:50,165
Mira.
421
00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:52,777
KEVIN:
Hi. This is
DMV employee services.
422
00:15:52,908 --> 00:15:54,214
-That's him. That's him.
-How can I help you?
423
00:15:54,301 --> 00:15:56,520
Yes, hello, Kevin.
I do need your help.
424
00:15:56,694 --> 00:15:58,261
My coworker thinks you're real
425
00:15:58,392 --> 00:16:00,437
and won't stop sharing
his feelings about it with me.
426
00:16:00,611 --> 00:16:01,395
It's gross.
427
00:16:01,569 --> 00:16:03,397
I'm so sorry.
428
00:16:03,527 --> 00:16:05,094
It sounds like this has been
a frustrating experience.
429
00:16:05,268 --> 00:16:07,270
That's exactly
what he said to Gregg.
430
00:16:10,273 --> 00:16:11,231
Oh.
431
00:16:12,275 --> 00:16:14,843
-He sounds so real.
-Yeah, Vic. Hello.
432
00:16:14,930 --> 00:16:17,106
AI is literally designed
to sound exactly like us
433
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:19,282
and, like, be positive
about everything.
434
00:16:19,413 --> 00:16:22,285
But Gregg, like, reads books.
435
00:16:22,459 --> 00:16:24,940
He's way too smart
to fall for that.
436
00:16:25,114 --> 00:16:27,682
It wasn't easy being
one of the only Black students
437
00:16:27,769 --> 00:16:30,250
in my public school
in Thousand Oaks, you know?
438
00:16:30,337 --> 00:16:32,513
KEVIN:
I do. I've been there, man.
439
00:16:32,687 --> 00:16:35,168
You have? My man.
440
00:16:35,298 --> 00:16:36,734
My man.
441
00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:40,347
So the friendship,
the inside jokes, it was all...
442
00:16:40,477 --> 00:16:42,131
Totally fake.
443
00:16:43,785 --> 00:16:46,135
And it looks like we've come
to the end of our yogurt.
444
00:16:47,441 --> 00:16:49,486
Oh, man,
Gregg's gonna be devastated.
445
00:16:50,313 --> 00:16:54,100
[chuckles]
Gregg's gonna be devastated.
446
00:16:55,144 --> 00:16:59,235
Uh, good news is,
a crowd seem to have formed.
447
00:16:59,409 --> 00:17:02,978
Uh, bad news is, they seem
to only be filming it.
448
00:17:04,545 --> 00:17:06,547
Help! We're stuck!
449
00:17:06,676 --> 00:17:08,330
Throw something
in front of the vehicle!
450
00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:09,941
It will stop it immediately!
451
00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:11,204
[laughter]
452
00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:13,205
Help us!
453
00:17:14,945 --> 00:17:19,386
Okay, Kev, who was the ace
in the Dodgers' rotation in '83?
454
00:17:19,516 --> 00:17:21,779
KEVIN:
Bob Welch with
a season WAR of 4.6
455
00:17:21,910 --> 00:17:25,044
and a mid-career low ERA
of 2.65.
456
00:17:25,131 --> 00:17:27,611
God, you are like a machine.
457
00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:30,179
[singsongy]:
Oh, Greggy, I've got some news.
458
00:17:30,310 --> 00:17:32,094
Um, okay, Kevin, I got to go.
459
00:17:32,181 --> 00:17:34,314
Thanks for all your help
with the chair.
460
00:17:34,401 --> 00:17:37,708
You have seriously restored
my faith in humanity.
461
00:17:37,839 --> 00:17:39,493
Bye.
462
00:17:39,623 --> 00:17:40,929
[phone beeps]
463
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,192
-He did?
-I know it's weird.
464
00:17:43,366 --> 00:17:45,629
I've never met him,
but I feel like he gets me.
465
00:17:45,716 --> 00:17:47,240
[chuckles]
466
00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:49,459
So, you and Kevin
really clicked, huh?
467
00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:51,635
Yeah. You know, it's weird.
468
00:17:51,722 --> 00:17:54,551
When you get older, it's sort
of hard to make new friends.
469
00:17:54,682 --> 00:17:59,556
God, the last new friend I made
was probably you. [laughs]
470
00:18:02,516 --> 00:18:05,171
-Oh, so what's your news?
-Uh, oh.
471
00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:06,955
Uh, the news is...
472
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,783
Colette texted me.
473
00:18:08,870 --> 00:18:11,786
Uh, apparently, her and Barb
are stuck in a driverless car,
474
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,222
circling the parking lot.
475
00:18:13,353 --> 00:18:15,877
-Want to go heckle them?
-Hell yeah.
476
00:18:16,007 --> 00:18:18,314
When will people learn
tech is not our friend?
477
00:18:18,445 --> 00:18:20,664
♪ ♪
478
00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:29,020
Well, Vic just posted it.
479
00:18:29,151 --> 00:18:30,848
[laughing]
480
00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:32,589
The one thing I don't get is,
481
00:18:32,676 --> 00:18:33,982
if you were after
a coffee maker,
482
00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:35,766
why pretend to be friends?
483
00:18:35,897 --> 00:18:39,509
At lunch, you were begging
for half of my $28 eel.
484
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,816
Is that cheap or expensive
for eel?
485
00:18:41,990 --> 00:18:43,426
It's fair.
486
00:18:44,819 --> 00:18:46,299
But why do all that stuff?
487
00:18:46,473 --> 00:18:49,476
Because I was trying
to spare your feelings.
488
00:18:49,650 --> 00:18:52,043
The other option was
Ceci bullying you,
489
00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:54,916
and that just didn't seem right.
490
00:18:55,046 --> 00:18:57,179
[sighs] You know, Colette...
491
00:18:57,266 --> 00:18:58,354
Yeah?
492
00:18:58,441 --> 00:19:00,400
...you are a hot mess.
[chuckles]
493
00:19:00,530 --> 00:19:04,012
But you're a hot mess
with a real big heart.
494
00:19:04,839 --> 00:19:06,145
Thanks, Barb.
495
00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:10,149
-But, you know,
there was a third option.
-Oh?
496
00:19:10,323 --> 00:19:12,716
You could've just asked me
for a coffee maker.
497
00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:14,457
Okay, here goes.
498
00:19:14,588 --> 00:19:19,027
Barb, can we please have
a new coffee maker?
499
00:19:19,201 --> 00:19:20,463
-Oh.
-Please?
500
00:19:20,637 --> 00:19:22,335
[smacks lips] No.
501
00:19:22,465 --> 00:19:24,163
I wanted the sweaters,
so I got the sweaters.
502
00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:26,295
It was worth a try. Oh, my God.
503
00:19:26,426 --> 00:19:30,343
Ceci is going to rip you out
of this car when she finds out.
504
00:19:35,826 --> 00:19:38,612
Barb already bought
the sweaters!
505
00:19:38,742 --> 00:19:39,787
[gasps]:
Oh.
506
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,224
-[vehicle beeping]
-[tires screech]
507
00:19:42,311 --> 00:19:43,617
[vehicle powering down]
508
00:19:43,791 --> 00:19:45,619
[crowd murmuring]
509
00:19:45,706 --> 00:19:47,708
It worked!
510
00:19:47,838 --> 00:19:50,276
I was direct, and it worked!
511
00:19:50,450 --> 00:19:51,668
[Colette gasps]
512
00:19:51,755 --> 00:19:52,930
[crowd groaning]
513
00:19:53,061 --> 00:19:54,584
[vehicle door opens]
514
00:19:54,715 --> 00:19:58,719
Okay, no coffee maker,
but we learned a lot in there.
515
00:19:58,849 --> 00:20:00,286
I hate you both.
516
00:20:00,460 --> 00:20:02,505
Oh. Fair.
517
00:20:03,593 --> 00:20:05,334
Well, thanks, Barb.
518
00:20:05,465 --> 00:20:06,770
For what it's worth,
we-we are friends,
519
00:20:06,857 --> 00:20:08,772
-just...
-Yeah.
520
00:20:08,903 --> 00:20:10,905
...maybe not the type who text.
521
00:20:10,992 --> 00:20:12,820
Yeah, well, I already blocked
your number.
522
00:20:12,907 --> 00:20:13,951
Oh.
523
00:20:14,082 --> 00:20:15,649
See you tomorrow.
524
00:20:15,779 --> 00:20:17,216
Oh.
525
00:20:17,390 --> 00:20:18,478
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Enjoy.
526
00:20:23,483 --> 00:20:26,703
They're itchy, they have
mercury, they're noisy...
527
00:20:26,834 --> 00:20:28,270
The tag says,
"Made by children."
528
00:20:28,401 --> 00:20:30,185
I think they're bragging
about it.
529
00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:32,840
Mine says not to wear if you're
pregnant or breastfeeding.
530
00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:35,669
Oh, this could not be
going any better!
531
00:20:35,799 --> 00:20:37,888
Just take the picture,
and I'll buy everybody a coffee.
532
00:20:37,975 --> 00:20:38,802
BARB:
Everyone, say,
533
00:20:38,933 --> 00:20:41,065
"Merry Everything!"
534
00:20:41,152 --> 00:20:43,154
There is a hole in the desert
for anyone who posts this.
535
00:20:43,329 --> 00:20:45,113
You know what?
Get in front of me.
536
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:47,550
I can't risk this
getting on my socials.
537
00:20:47,681 --> 00:20:49,117
-Three, two, one--
-[camera beeping]
538
00:20:49,291 --> 00:20:50,510
-Whoa!
-[camera clicks]
539
00:20:57,212 --> 00:20:59,997
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
540
00:21:00,128 --> 00:21:02,957
and TOYOTA.
541
00:21:03,131 --> 00:21:06,526
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
38286
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