All language subtitles for Joan.of.Arcadia.S02E12.Game.Theory.1080p.CTV.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264-AVoW_track3_[eng]

Jane.

Hey. Hi.
Hi.

I've been calling you
all the way down the hall.

Oh. Well,
I'm temporarily deaf.

My mom burnt a hole
in my ear

lecturing me
about college.

Ah. Yeah, well,
what time

should I pick you up
tomorrow?

For what?

The field trip
to Dawson State.

Oh, yeah.
What are we
doing that for?

Well, state schools
offer more aid,

and you know,
Tuchman told me
to use it

for leverage
for the Ivys.

Yeah, but why
am I going?

Because we're
on the same college
track, remember?

Adam, face it.

My grades are in the swamp
this semester,

and the work just
keeps getting harder,

and this looks
kind of cool.

Mr. Tuchman's seminar,
and he said I'm perfect
for it.

No. This is
the slacker symposium.

No! Don't say that.
It could be interesting.

Look, we'll still
be together.

You know, I'll figure out
a way to be wherever you are,

just not in college.
It's not for me.

Why can't people
accept that?

I accept it.
I-I just think you're
selling yourself short.

You know,
you're an artist.

You of all people
should understand
that there are other ways

of being happy
and whole and creative

outside of conventional
education, right?

I guess.

You know, actually,
I'm really excited.

I just feel all these exciting
new horizons unfolding.

BOY: Who's that?

Adam: Good luck, Jane.

Hi, Joan.

Have a seat.

I always knew God
was an underachiever.

Hmm.

♪ What if God was one of us?

♪ Just a slob like one of us

♪ Just a stranger on the bus

♪ Trying to make his way home

♪ Just trying
to make his way home

♪ Just trying
to make his way home

♪ Just trying
to make his way home ♪

(DOOR OPENS)

Good morning,
dregs of society.

I will be your guide
through the narrow alleyways

of alternative achievement.

If anyone understands
what that means,

it's an
Ivy League-educated man

who works
for the public school system.

Which brings us
to lesson number one.

Don't be bitter.

So you're gonna tell me
why you're here?

It's a guidance session.

I'm all about guidance.

Well, maybe if you were
a little more specific.

Yeah, but you didn't like it
when I told you what to do.

I like it less
when you don't.

Sorry. Can I get in
on this?

Uh, s-sorry. We...

We're just being
rude. Continue.

Thanks. Thank you.

The point is
each of you
is unique

and has hidden talents,

some of them more hidden
than others.

Sometimes, one might say,
they're invisible.

But up till now,
you've been pumped
full of dreams,

most of which
that aren't even your own.

How about
a few less dreams

and a few more goals?

Because goals are attainable,

and dreams are what happen
when you eat cheese

before you go to bed.

Nothing. All right.

Let's talk
about a few people

who did not get
four years of college.

Anyone?

No? Shakespeare.

Charlie Chaplin.

Rosa Parks.
Anyone? Rosa Parks? No?

Abraham Lincoln.

Nothing.

People who changed
the history of the world

because of their unique
and singular vision

and their belief
in that vision,

and not because
of a diploma.

Hey, that is kind
of true, isn't it?

I mean, guidance counselors
can't lie, right?

Guidance comes
in many forms, Joan.

It can point you in a lot
of different directions.

You have to develop
a little bit of discernment.

Okay, now you're just
starting to piss me off.

TUCHMAN: But seriously,
yes, I'm sure you've
all seen the commercials

for DeVry and ITT Tech.

Those success stories
aren't made up,

and they're not the only
alternative, either.

You can always
join the military.

Joan. Hey.

I was surprised
to see you with
that guy this morning.

(CHUCKLES)

Did you and Adam
break up?

No. That guy was,
uh, somebody else.

How did you know
about me and Adam?

Guidance department
knows everything.

The better to guide you,
my dear.
Hmm.

I'm psyched
you gravitated
toward design.

Yeah. I like it.
I like interior design,
and furniture,

and, you know, drapes.

Joan.

You can't think of this
as a failure.

You have to think of it
as pragmatism.

Hit me on my cell phone
if you just want to talk.

Okay.

Design. I like it.

That's why I put it
everywhere.

Aren't you perfect?

I have a specific
assignment for you,

since you
miss them so much.
(CHUCKLING)

Okay.

Go with Adam tomorrow.

Take a look at college.

Wait. Now you want me
to go to college?

Informed choices.

They're better
than the other kind.

Besides, you already
told him you'd go
and I like follow-through.

Well, I like privacy.

Now that we're
listing what we like,
privacy and autonomy!

I just used "autonomy"
In a sentence.

Huh.

Hey. Whoa.
Lucy kept you late.

She didn't keep me.
She's my boss.
I had work.

Okay.

A possible breakthrough
on Judith's case.

We brought in
her killer's
drug supplier.

Lucy's agreed
to sweat him

until he turns
the guy over.

Oh, she's really something.

You know, if you're
gonna hate my boss
for a hobby,

this is gonna be
a long year.

I don't hate her, Will.

So what's the, uh,
Almighty up to?

Passing out boils
and leprosy?

Hey, um,
Adam's taking Joan

to Dawson State
tomorrow.

When do you
take your vows?

Isn't that getting close?

I'm not becoming
a nun, Will.

I'm getting
confirmed,

and we haven't
picked a date yet.

But you're on board
with everything.

God created us,
God can destroy us,

nobody asked to be here,
nobody gets to know why.

Okay, so I'm not having
this discussion with you.

What kind of faith crumbles
under a few questions?

These aren't
real questions, Will.

It's a hostile attack.

I'll strike a deal
with you.

You don't pry into
my higher power,

and I won't
pry into yours.

JOAN: Then what happens?

They give you
a lie detector test?

Look inside your soul?

(SCOFFS) No.
They basically
just interview me

and look
at my portfolio,

fall in love with me

and offer me
thousands of dollars
to come here.

Then I take that interest
to Stanford

and get them
to match the price.

That's awesome.

Yeah.

You know, you should try
to set up an interview
while you're here.

No, no. I'm committed
to interior design.

I checked with Tuchman.

There are millions of schools
in California,

what with earthquakes,
things fall down,

you have to
redecorate them.

Yeah, yeah,
but you know,

I just kind of like
the idea of us
at college together.

You know,
and Tuchman's
such a wart.

You know?

No, I mean, he's old
and has an earring.

He called me
"rocker" once.

Well, he went to Brown.

So? All that means
is he's smart enough

to put a spell
on you.

Oh, Adam,
I'm not under a spell.

Look, don't worry
about me, okay?
I know what I'm doing.

Just go get
your scholarship.

♪ You stood in the crowd
Said you were fine, just fine

♪ You've been
thousands of miles away

♪ And still you
nodded and smiled

♪ So sit a while with me

♪ Look into my eyes

♪ Can't we be honest
about the inside? ♪

(BOTH LAUGHING)

MAN: Midterm fire sale.

Sweet deals
on the Mongol invasion,

Byzantine Empire,

and brain theory.

Selling tests?
Kind of gross.

I could be some kind of narc.

Not tests,
just virtuosity.

I'm a tutor.

You good with
all your classes?

Oh.

I don't go here.
I'm still a junior
in high school.

You applying?

Uh, no. Actually,
I'm gonna go to
interior design school.

Grades suck?

Shouldn't you be
moving along,
Ernest?

Roger, actually.
This jacket's just
a fashion statement.

And you are?

Joan.

Well, Joan, if it's
just grades, I can help.

Getting into college
is a process.

All a big game.
You just have
to be coached.

It's just not my game,
that's all.

Look, I've been there.

If you change your mind,
call me.

You'd be a nice
addition to the campus.

This is
a brilliant idea.

Much better than, say,
the warmth and coziness

of a coffee house,
or your dorm room.

People are
supposed to get

at least 20 minutes
of sunlight a day.

It helps
convert vitamins

and increases
dopamine
in the brain.

Yeah, but you know
what else helps?

Making out to
Al Green records. So...

I've just been
studying all day,

and I needed some air.

No, no, it's good.
I mean, I'm only freezing
from the waist up, so...

(CHUCKLES)

So, uh...

What does it
feel like?

I mean, do you
get used to it?

(CHUCKLING)

Uh...

It feels like
you're carrying

your drunk,
passed-out
friend around.

You keep thinking
he's gonna wake up,

and, uh, yeah,
you get used to it.

(CHUCKLING)

So,

what's the rest
of it like?

I mean, assuming
that you have, since.

(CLEARING THROAT)

Yeah, I have since.
Uh...

It's fine.

It's not that much
more awkward

than normal sex.

My legs don't move.

But pretty much
everything else does.

♪ I ain't askin' you to say ♪

Interior design has
so much school stuff in it.

There's math.
You have to measure.

And geometry,
shapes, angles,

uh, fabrics, colors.

You even have to know
what taupe is.

Joan, if you want
to go to design school
after college,

I'm completely in favor.

We won't pay,
but I'm in favor.

(SIGHS) Why is this
such a big deal?

It just is.

What if I told you
God said it was okay?

Leave my religion
out of this.

Starving.
Wasting away.

HELEN: Ten minutes.
You'll live.

Hey, one of you
take out the trash,
please.

(SNIFFS,
CLEARS THROAT)

Two out of three.

Four out of seven.
No way, dude.
I won.

It's algebra, Joan.
You can't beat me...

Algebra?
It's a game.

What do you
think math is?

Come on,
just four out of seven.
Okay.

Trash, please.

Oh.
In a minute, Mom.

Luke, now.

You're out of there.

Uncanny.

You defy logic.

(BEEPING)

Your future plans?

(GROANS)

Great. Spammage.

Nice to see you embracing
techno.

Great.
God is a pop-up ad.

That's perfect.

Appears out of
nowhere, impossible
to get rid of.

So, you visited
that college with Adam.

What did you find there?

People
playing Frisbee,

which I could do.

But I also
saw huge books,

tons of homework,
and term papers.

So if you could
please just move
out of the way...

(CHUCKLING SARCASTICALLY)
There's somebody promising
me huge money

in interior decorating.

You found more than
Frisbees and homework.

What, Tutor Man?
You want me
to call Tutor Man?

(SIGHS)

Hey. Thanks for coming
all the way up here
to meet me.

Oh, anything to encourage
higher learning

in someone
who has great potential

and incredible eyes.

(LAUGHS)

Well,
what makes you think

I have
great potential?

I was a goof-off
in high school, too.

Until junior year,
when I realized

I was headed straight
for aluminum-siding school.

Huh. Well, interior
decorating for me.

Suggested by your
oh-so-encouraging,
mildly condescending,

"I'm your buddy"
guidance counselor?

Tuchman? How do you know him?

Every school
has a Tuchman.

Oh.

Look, the point is

everybody's ready
to write you off
every minute,

especially
if your skills are
not on the surface.

Like, I discovered
last night

that I have
some idiot savant thing

with rock-paper-scissors.
Like, I never lose.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(CLEARS THROAT)
That sounded dumb.

No. Uh, you could
have an instinctual feel

for algebraic theory.

Yeah?

See, I figured it out.

There's always a way
to work the system.

College is
no different.

Just figure out
the formula.

And you-you think
you can teach me
how to do that?

You're a quick study.
I can tell.

Your syllabus,
reading list,

and my hourly rates
and cancellation policy.

Oh. Uh...

Hourly rates, right.

That's a lot of money.

So, I think maybe
the dream dies here.

Tell you what,

I'll cut half
off my rate,

you treat me
to a hamburger

once a week

and you mention me
in your memoirs
when you're famous.

Okay, that sounds
like a good deal.

The dream
is back alive.

So, it comes up
in conversation

that I've never
seen an X-rated film,

and he's all,
"How is that possible?"

And I'm like, "Hello?

"What part of 'nun'
don't you understand?"

They weren't screening
them at the convent.

(CHUCKLES)
So he says,

"We'll have to
rent something."

And I'm all,
"Where's a time portal
when you need one?"

Can we get
to the beatitudes?

'Cause I think
I finally memorized them.

Hey! Usually,
hearing about
my pathetic love life

is your favorite part.

Yeah, I know,

but I'm getting
into fights with
my husband and...

I'm not sure I believe
any of this anymore.

Wow. Well, that will, uh,
certainly interfere

with your confirmation.

You and Will are fighting
about religion.

Yes. Constantly.

And not about that babe
who's his boss.

Are you suggesting
that my husband
is cheating on me?

Because that's
ridiculous

and offensive.

Why would you
even say that?

I didn't. You did.

So, you're abandoning this
to keep the peace?

I mean, you were
drawn to it
for a reason,

and now you're just
gonna shut it down?

All your questions
and curiosity

about the point
of existence?

Hey, plenty of people
get through their lives

without needing to know
what it's all about.

"Get through."

I'm sorry. I-I don't...

I don't think we're
gonna get much work
done today.

Well, I-I think we got
a lot of work done.

You might assume she wins
because of random strategy.

You know,
not knowing the math,
she can't apply it.

Chaos theory.
Middle school stuff.

However,
with that approach,

one can only expect
50 to 60% accuracy.

Watch this.

She never misses.
Never.

(GIGGLES)

I'm totally freaking
the geeks out with this.

ADAM: Jane.

I waited an hour
at the bus stop,

and then I missed
the last one,

so I had to hitch a ride
on the back

of Freidman's
motorized Razor.

Oh, that sounds like fun.
Kind of like performance art.

Where were you, Jane?

I had an early meeting.

I tried to call you,
but you didn't pick up.

Only because I was
on the back of
Freidman's Razor.

That is not
shouting material, dude.

What-What kind
of meeting?

This guy is gonna tutor me
so I can go to college

with the rest
of you gearheads.

Perhaps it's
the psychology
she's using,

not algebra.

You know, rock is id,
paper, ego,

scissors, superego.

You people
are seriously warped.

It's a game.
It's about luck.

No, Grace. Games
are never about luck.

Everything
is a strategy,

from government
to romance,

such as the time
when I gave you a gift,

a calculated gambit
designed to throw you
into a state of imbalance.

You worked me?

No. No.

You used a gambit
on me?

No, Grace.
I'm making an analogy.

That was
some bad math, dude.

Yeah, but where'd
you find this guy?

I thought you wanted me
to go to college.

I do. I...

Okay, so then be happy.

I am.

WILL: Vladamir Karpovic,

a.k.a. Vlad the Inhaler.

I see the cocaine business
has a sense of humor.

And your accommodations,
I trust, suit you?

Your wooden plank
is comfy?

I did not
kill that girl.

You have no business
keeping me.

We have a video of you
running a pharmacy
out of your place.

The Feds are just begging
for a shot at you.

We're holding off
because we know

you're a man
of conscience,

pushing drugs
to schoolchildren
notwithstanding.

Joey Edwards,

Judith Montgomery's killer.

I believe you've been
doing business with him
for some years.

You hide a killer,
you're an accessory.

My first choice
is to cooperate,

but I need
compelling reason.

Reason enough?

She was
my daughter's friend.

It's personal.

I think it's
a good time to
bring in attorneys.

I don't want
to make a deal
with this guy.

Look, once
he's lawyered up,

we are not
in the driver's seat
anymore.

I think we need to focus
on what we want
out of this situation.

What I want is Joey Edwards'
eight pieces in the river.

Will, we will get him.

Then no deals yet.

We let him sweat it out
for a few more days.

I guess I could
lose his paperwork.

I told you before
not to do that.

Sorry.

I thought
it was harmless.

It's not. You know it.

Working here
is awesome.

It's like
a salad bar
for the mind.

I guess I should
put a sneeze guard up
over the books.

You want to get
into a good college,

take advantage
of what you have
right in front of you.

(GROANS) I'm already
buried in homework.

Yeah. Pre-packaged factoids
crammed down your throat

so you'll be just
like every other kid

in the assembly line
to college.

(LAUGHING)
You would like
my friend Grace.

(CHUCKLES)

"I want
to set before my
fellow human beings

"a man in every way
true to nature,

"and that man
will be myself."

That's Rousseau.

He knew how
to get into college.

So I'm supposed
to fulfill my true nature.

Yep. Heard that one before.

Good. 'Cause that's
what colleges want.

The real Joan.

What if I'm still trying
to find out who that is?

Start by finding out
what turns you on.

Well, (CHUCKLES)

kicking geek rump
at rock-paper-scissors
was pretty sweet.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Winning definitely
turns me on.

Hmm. A little
militant, but...

Ah.

Game Theory?
Art of War.

Sun Tzu.

Kicking rump for more
than 2,000 years.

If you like that,
you might like

Vonnegut.

George Eliot,
actually a chick.

Um...

(SNAPPING FINGERS)

Tolstoy,
Langston Hughes,

Plato, Hobbes...

(CHUCKLING)

Uh...

Nietzsche.
Does this look
like a library?

They will come
out of your pay.

Chill, dude.
She's just sampling.

You schmutz it,
you buy it.

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

He's not really
into the whole, uh,
salad bar thing.

Hmm.

This is a lot of books.
I can't...
Yes, you can.

Read one page of each.
If you hate it,
put it back.

If you connect,
you'll find the time.

(SIGHS)

You really think I can?

I see something
in your eyes.

An intelligence.

(DOOR OPENS)

You do?

Hey.

Hey. Adam.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

Hey, uh, this is Adam,
my boyfriend,

who I told you about,
the artist.

Oh, yeah. Cool.

ADAM: Hi,

uh, Fred?

Oh. It's Roger.

I'm Joan's tutor.

Uh, I have
to get to class.

I-I'll call you
about our next session.

Yeah.
Yeah.

Following
a predetermined
gambit,

like the avalanche,
rock-rock-rock,

or the scissor sandwich,
paper-scissors-paper.

Right, which takes
the decision-making
away from the player,

giving us the advantage
in a zero-sum situation.

Mathematical purity,
statistical certainty.

I have chills.

JOAN: What am I
supposed to do?

Only get tutored
by an old smelly guy?

No. I'm just saying
it's obvious
what the guy wanted.

I mean,
you-you telling me
you can't see that?

Adam...
No, you know what?
It's-It's fine, Jane.

Just do
what you gotta do.

All guys
are psycho.

There has
to be another way
to procreate.

I can't believe this.

Well, are you sure
there's nothing
going on?

I mean,
it wouldn't
be a first.

College boy dazzles
impressionable
high-school girl,

so he can...
Do I have to go on?

The word "pants"
Is involved.

Is that what
you think of me?

I'm blaming
the dude, dude.

He said he saw
intelligence in my eyes.

(LAUGHS)
He gave me
those cool books.

Okay, Girardi,
two out of three.
Let's go.

Not now, toe jam.

Ooh, scared.

I guess she realizes
that the analytical mind

does, in fact,
trump dumb luck.

Are you calling me dumb?

Oh, excusez-moi.

Intellectually
challenged.

Shall we dance?

Bring it.

BOTH: Rock, paper,
scissors, shoot.

Come on, Freidman.
Rock, paper,
scissors, shoot.

Nice, Girardi.
Rock, paper,
scissors, shoot.

(SIGHS)
Yes!

Balance
has been restored
to the universe.

He's right.
I am dumb.

Oh, easy, Girardi.
It's a stupid kid's game.

Not to them.
To them it's some
bizarro math problem

I'll probably
never understand.

Roger is
such a poser.

I can't believe what
an idiot I've been.

Hey, pull up.
The plane is spiraling
out of control.

You know,
I really wanted

to be as smart
as everyone else,
but I'm not.

You were right,
Adam was right.

I totally got
scammed by Roger.

Girardi!

What the hell happened?

Calm down, Will.

I heard Karpovic just
got traded to the Feds
without talking.

I understand you're upset.
If you need
to break something,

my ex gave me
this clock. Here.

(CLOCK BELLS DINGING)
This isn't funny to me.

We agreed to let him
sweat it out!

He was willing to give up
his European connection.

And what about Judith?

Does that kid's death
mean nothing?

I made the deal
on this one, Will,
because you couldn't.

What deal?
What kind of deal
couldn't I handle?

Trust me, Will.

Judith's case
is not over.

I haven't let you
down yet, have I?

Do you mind
scooting in?

This is
the waiters' station.

Where do you
expect him to go?

Sorry.
I'll be back
with your food.

It's okay.
I mean, is he blind?

You seem a little
tightly wound today, huh?

I just...
I have a paper
and stuff.

Well, you know
what they say.

All work and no play
makes Beth a cranky lady.

What's this?

"Pine Lake cabins."

I was thinking
maybe Friday after work,

I could pick you up.

We could get away
from your roommate

for a couple nights.

This weekend?
I can't this weekend.

I just told you
that I have a paper.

Whatever.
Maybe next month.

Well, then I'll
have finals, and...

I mean,
I have to get
a summer job.

I'm just saying
I don't think that
I can, you know,

make any plans.

Oh. Sure.
Uh, forget it.

Um...

I'm sorry.

I wanted it all
to be the same.

Just like you did.

I know.

I didn't lie to you.

I mean, I...

(SIGHS) I thought
I could handle it.

When we kissed,
I'd close my eyes

and it was like
it used to be.

But then you had
to open them again.

I want to be
the type of person
that can do this.

I mean...

I love you.

But I'm... I'm 21.

Don't. Don't. I, um...

It's not your fault.
I, uh...

(SIGHS)

I get it.

Just... We're friends.
(CHUCKLES)

It's cool.

Sorry it took so long.

(SIGHS)

CHESS PLAYER GOD:
Want to play, Joan?

What, now God wants
to beat me, too?

You have to stay
in the game.

I am,
as a decorator.

There's nothing
wrong with that.

No, if that's
what you really want.

You know I have
a very good color sense?

Even Adam thinks so,
and he's an artist.

Even though
he hates me
right now.

I know you've had
a difficult time lately,

losing Judith,
questioning me.

But you've
learned so much.

Use it.
How?

Every time I think
I've learned something,

something else
gets thrown at me,
you know?

Adam, or Roger, or...

(SIGHS)

Feeling like a loser.

Just makes me
feel clueless again.

That's because
you see each event
as an end in itself.

But they're all
just small parts
of something much greater,

something that never ends.

You're very
Matrix-y today.

You do everything
that I ask

without knowing
where it'll lead

because you have faith.

Have some in yourself.

Other people do.

I do.

You're being
really nice to me.

That's weird.

Because I want you to see
how much stronger you are
than you think.

Failure
and disappointment,

you've been
through it before.

It's all part
of the game.

But this isn't a game.
This is my life.

Every act you undertake,

working at the bookstore,
helping someone,

even playing
rock-paper-scissors,

each of those choices
is a move,

and every move
informs the next,

and changes you
and everyone else

like moves
on a chess board.

So there has to be
a way to win.

Sure. By playing.

Yes? Can I
help you, dear?

Uh, I'm Joan Girardi.

Does Mr. Tuchman
live here?

Oh, yes.
Come in. Come in.

Dana?

Dana!
Honey, there's somebody
here to see you!

Um...

(CHUCKLES)

(CLEARS THROAT)

So he still
lives at home?

How

nice.

Yes.

They grow up
so fast.

Joan.

Did you put your bowl
in the sink, honey?

Yes.
Because if the oatmeal
dries on it...

I know. I'm with
a student, mother.

Okay. Okay, okay!

But if you don't hurry,
you're gonna be late
for school.

(CHUCKLES) Mothers, huh?

Yeah.

Coming over
this early,

this must be
really important.

Look, Mr. Tuchman,
you've been trying
to tell me

what I should expect
in my life,

and, well, yes,
I've made a few mistakes,

blown a few tests,
but this is still my life.

Of course.

I want to go
to a four-year college.

Oh. Joan.

Look, I'm trying
to help you

avoid pitfalls
and disappointments
that could...

What? Make me wind up
living at home until I'm...

What are you, like 40?

29. 29, and I'm saving
for a place of my own.

Look, when you get out
into the real world,

you'll realize...

Look, believe whatever
you want about yourself,
me, or anything, okay?

I am back in the game,
Mr. Tuchman,

and I will be making
my own moves.

MOTHER: (SCOLDING)
You have to run water
into the bowl, Dana!

I put water in the bowl!

She manipulates you,

reels you in,
and then pulls rank.

Sounds like my ex.

Karpovic could
have handed us Edwards.

She gave him away.

You had her job, Will.

The Feds start
putting on the pressure,

there's only so much
you can do.

If it had been
for a friend,
if it had been for you,

I'd have found a way
to make things right.

Male, 24,
single shot
to the head.

No witnesses.

Sanitation
found him on
the morning rounds.

Sounds like
a professional hit.

It's Judith's killer.
That's Edwards.

Yeah.

Seems like deals
were made.

GRACE: Slow down.
I'm losing weight.

JOAN: I'm making a move.

Yeah, a fast one.

What happened? I thought
you crashed and burned.

Because
I wasn't playing.

Other people were
making moves for me.

I stayed up all night
reading those books

that Roger gave me
on psychology,
game theory.

Do you realize
that a player

gives off
a hint of aggression
when he throws rock,

that there are strategies
in The Art of War...

Nodding off.

Bottom line,
I am not giving up.

Luke, Freidman,
the whole mess of them,
are going down.

If you want
to stand by your man

while I hand him
his ass, I understand.

No way. Asserting
female superiority?

I'm there, dude.

Coming through!

You should wear
more leather.

You're home early.

Found Judith's killer.

Well, that's good,
isn't it?

He's dead.

Looks like
a professional hit.

The guy was
a drug dealer.

Occupational hazard,
I guess.

Are you okay?

Work.

I don't know what's
right or wrong anymore.

I thought you'd be
at confirmation class.

I got halfway there
and I turned around.

I think I'm gonna
put it off for a while.

Because of me?

I've been having
some doubts.

And things are...

There's just been

such a distance
between us.

God will wait.

I miss you so much.

BOYS:
Rock. Paper.
Scissors. Shoot.

Rock. Paper.
Scissors. Shoot.

Rock. Paper.
Scissors. Shoot.

This is so intense.
Me next.

It's payback time.

Joan, I'm sorry.
We don't handicap
players here.

Button it, 'fro-man.
Let's play.

Flatten him,
Girardi.

There's no reason
for hostility here.
It's just...

You're next,
squid boy.

You and your friends
think I'm some kind
of bonehead?

Think again.
Let's play. Ready?

Yeah.

(BAND PRACTICING
IN CLASSROOM)

Music's a little
distracting.

Well, not for me.
Two out of three.

Don't throw
scissors.

BOTH: Rock. Paper.
Scissors. Shoot.

Told you.

BOTH: Rock. Paper.
Scissors. Shoot.

BOTH: Rock. Paper.
Scissors. Shoot.

Yes!

God!

Hey! Who's the
bonehead now? Next!

Joan...
What, you think I'm
some kind of idiot? Huh?

Think it would just be
easy to take me out?

I never said
you were an idiot.

Yeah, but you
let them say it.

Just do it, man.
Redemption.

I'll cut you
some slack. Hmm?

We'll play sets.
Two out of three.
Why are you doing this?

'Cause I wanna win.
Just like you.

(ALL POSTURING)

FREIDMAN:
Loosen it up.
Let's go.

BOTH: Rock. Paper.
Scissors. Shoot.

FREIDMAN:
Scissors beats paper.

BOTH: Rock. Paper.
Scissors. Shoot.

FREIDMAN: Tie.

BOTH: Rock. Paper.
Scissors. Shoot.

FREIDMAN: Tie again.

BOTH: Rock. Paper.
Scissors. Shoot.

Joan: Ah!
Yes!

FREIDMAN:
And Luke takes it!

FREIDMAN:
All right, Luke.

No, no, no.
Focus. Come on.
Don't lose it, Girardi.

Look, I got it.

I thought you'd
root for me, Grace.

Make out with you,
root for her.

(CHUCKLES)

Rock. Paper.
Scissors. Shoot.

FREIDMAN: All right, Luke.
Rock. Paper.
Scissors. Shoot.

GRACE: Female, Girardi.
Rock. Paper.
Scissors. Shoot.

Yes!

FREIDMAN:
Last set. Last set.

Up a notch.

(CLEARING THROAT)

BOTH: Rock. Paper.
Scissors. Shoot.

FREIDMAN: Tied.
Rock. Paper.
Scissors. Shoot.

Rock. Paper.
Scissors. Shoot.

GRACE: Tie.
Rock. Paper.
Scissors. Shoot.

FREIDMAN: Tie.
GIRL: Come on, Joan!

Let's go. Let's go.
We got her. We got her.

Come on.
He's sweating
like a pig.

As the probability
of duplicating a tie

decreases
with each tie thrown,

human behavior becomes
the deciding factor.

This is the domain
of the philosophers
and the poets

and not
the mathematicians.

That was so hot.

♪ Get rolled on
Get-get rolled on... ♪

BOTH: Rock. Paper.
Scissors. Shoot.

GIRL: Go, Joan!

Rock. Paper.
Scissors. Shoot.

Whoopsie Jane.

Rock. Paper.
Scissors. Shoot.

FREIDMAN: Tie.

♪ Get rolled on
Get rolled on

♪ Get rolled on

♪ Get rolled on
Get rolled on

♪ Get rolled on

♪ Get rolled on
Get rolled on

♪ Get rolled on

♪ Get rolled on
Get rolled on

♪ Get rolled on

♪ Ah! ♪

(CROWD GASPING)

Yes!

(CHEERING)

♪ When your day is long

(LOUD CHEERING)

♪ And the night

♪ The night is yours alone

(CHEERING CONTINUES)

♪ When you're sure
you've had enough

I thought I had...
I thought I had him.

You did. You did.
You see how much
you made him sweat?

I can't even
get him to do that
when we're alone.

Good try, Joan.

♪ 'Cause everybody hurts... ♪

That was awesome, Jane.

I lost.

No. I don't really
think so.

I mean, that look
in your eye, you know...

Eye of the tiger.

You know,

if this guy Roger
can help you like this,

you know, help you
get what you want,

I'm sorry
if I made that harder.

I just wanted us
to be together at
college, you know?

I didn't think that
was gonna be possible.

I'm not gonna think
like that anymore.

I'll get him
next time.

(ADAM CHUCKLES)

(DOOR CLOSES)

JOAN: Hey.
Hey.

Caramel corn?

It'll get stuck
in your teeth
for a year.

Sure. What's
the occasion?

I'm going
for college.

Yep. People are going
to have to pick
their own colors.

All right.

Oh, this looks good.

And it will sail someday.

Wow.

You used to sail
with Beth, right?

Yeah.

Mmm.
So that's why you're
working on it again.

Beth dumped me.

What? Why?

Envy.

She couldn't handle dating
someone hotter than she was.

Uh, you know,
all the stares, paparazzi.

Kevin.

Hey, you know,
I had to face it
sooner or later.

I mean...

I actually thought
that being like this

wouldn't make
any difference.

You know, that

(VOICE TREMBLING)
what we felt for each other
was all that really mattered.

(SCOFFS) Yeah.
Relationships are that easy.

Kevin, even if
you had 12 legs,

it wouldn't
work like that.

I just shouldn't have

tried, you know?
Not with her.

(SNIFFLES)

No. You should have
because it was her.

(SOBS) I just can't
go through this again.

Kevin, sure you can.

Sure you can.

You got to stay
in the game.

I guess. I mean...

If you can
go to college...

♪ Everybody hurts

♪ Sometimes

♪ Hold on

♪ Hold on

♪ Hold on

♪ Hold on

♪ Hold on

♪ Hold on

♪ Hold on

♪ Hold on