All language subtitles for Joan.of.Arcadia.S01E13.Recreation.1080p.CTV.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264-AVoW_track3_[eng]

Pancakes, Joan,
not pan-bricks.

I don't get it.

I followed
the directions
on the box.

Ah, eureka!

How'd you do that?

It's a chemical equation.

It's all about
conducting heat.

Joan, you're not going
to get any molecular
movement with Teflon.

You learned how to cook
in AP Chem? Since when?

The whole flame
on the flask idea?

That's cooking.

All I learned in there
is how to make soap.

Looks like what
you're doing
right now.

Okay, who wrecked a car,
flunked a class?

Mom! Dad!

Jeez, why are you up?

You guys always
sleep in late
on Saturday.

We smelled smells,

and since I'm usually
the smell-maker
in the kitchen,

we got suspicious.

Are... Are those flowers?

Weeds.
KEVIN: Have a seat.

We're preparing a surprise.

Coffee, anyone?
Oh, I'd love some.

Does anyone know
how to make coffee?

I'll do it.
No, no, no, no!

Sit down.
(CHUCKLES)

Luke, how many cakes
you got going there?

One, but it's perfect.

Why don't we skip
right over the meal part

and get to the point?

Um...

We've been thinking...

Oh, that's a dangerous
proposition.

Will.
I was having
a flying dream.

The point is, you guys
used to go away

for a married weekend
once a year...

Uh, whatever that means,

please, don't tell me.

We noticed you haven't
done that in a while,

and given Dad's
had a hard time
at his job lately,

and almost dying and all
and getting fired...

He wasn't fired.
I wasn't fired.

JOAN: Uh, right. Okay.

Well, the point is,
we think you should
do that again.

That is, go away and do
whatever it is you do,

and again,
please don't elaborate.

"This certificate
entitles you

"to a weekend
of full-service treatment

"at the Willow Hills Spa
and Well-being Center."

Aw.
A spa?

It's a nice idea,
but we can't.

Why not?

I'm starting
my new position.

Who'll watch the kids?

(SNAPS FINGERS)

I don't spa.

Will, think of it
as sleeping in.

Would I have to get
a facial?

No... No, you can sit
at the pool

and read books
all day long.

Oh, come on.
Let's do it.

The kids are right.

We haven't had
the married weekend

for a long time.

Strip Scrabble.

Oversharing!

Take it or leave it.

(WHISPERING)

We'll take it.

Ew!
KEVIN: Great.

♪ What if God was one of us?

♪ Just a slob like one of us?

♪ Just a stranger on the bus?

♪ Trying to make his way home

♪ Just trying
to make his way home

♪ Just trying
to make his way home ♪

JOAN: Hey!

Hi. Uh, what's up
with your mom?

She... She signed
my late slip,
no questions asked.

Oh, it's too creepy
to discuss.

Your parents
are getting divorced?

Worse. They're going
on a married weekend,

something the siblings
and I devised,

thinking we were
helping the universe.

They've been goofy
about it for days,
smiling.

Note to self:
do not encourage
parental unity.

That was a nice thing
to do.

Adam, they've
been packing

and saying things like,

"Should we even bother
to bring real clothes?"

"Are we even going
to leave the room?"

Well, you're promoting
true intimacy, yo.

It's my parents.

Well, what about us?

What about us?

What about us?

What about us?

What about us?
Is it just me,

or is this
going nowhere?

Good news for
AP Modern man.

Anti-drug lecture
in multi-purpose room
trumps homeroom.

Drugs?
Who even cares?

It's getting us
out of homeroom.

Price's idea?

Mrs. Girardi's,
apparently.

(SIGHS)

Why do they let her
have ideas?

Your brain is
an elaborate network
of chemicals,

all firing
and misfiring,

working it out
in perfect unison,
like a dance.

To introduce
illegal pharmaceuticals,

whether it be pot
or crystal meth
or ecstasy,

is to interfere
with a perfect system.

And if you interfere
with it long enough,

the whole system
ceases to work.

Your brain, as it occurs
in this moment,

is perfect.

Try not to interfere
with your body's
most intricate system.

Romantic love,
for example,

relies on
a healthy breeding ground.

Romantic love is a kind of
mental illness.

You all probably know
something about that.

(INHALES DEEPLY,
CLEARS THROAT)

Should any of you
be so fortunate

as to experience
a good kiss this year,

you would know
what I mean when I say

the pineal gland opens up

and releases
valuable hormones.

(STUDENTS GIGGLING)
Your loins...

Uh, let us say
our thanks
to Dr. Halliwell

for his insight
into human behavior.
(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)

Dennis, the lights, please.
Thank you.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(SIGHS)

Did you like
my speech, Joan?

Drugs are bad?

That's not
a new message.

And since you're here,

you invented drugs,
didn't you?

I invented rattlesnakes.

Doesn't mean I want you
playing around with them.

Well, I don't do drugs,
so what's your assignment?

You want me to keep
not doing drugs?

Not a bad assignment,
but here's the thing.

You've done a lot
of hard jobs
for me lately,

so don't be surprised
if I ask you to do
something fun.

But, see, nobody
thinks of you as fun.

And that's the problem.

Bell.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

Oh, and you're fun-ny.

WILL: I don't
have to go. My wife
would understand.

Will, I've been married.

They understand
until they don't.

Then they pack.

I hate spas.

I think you should go.

We don't have anything
we can't put on
the back burner,

do we, Sergeant Williams?

No, sir.

The meth lab.

There's a meth lab?

There's always
a meth lab.

Sergeant Williams and I
have been stalking
one in particular.

Where are we on it?
About to move in,

but, um, it can wait.

Can the meth lab wait?

This is a good one.

We've had some trouble
nailing it down,

but we've come up with
some goods on it.

We're ready to raid it.

Tell me, can it wait?

They exist on wheels.

They're always
prepared to move.

I don't like strangers
touching me.

My wife will understand.

Okay.

I'm making
a judgment call here.

Will, go away
with your wife.

Toni, keep an eye
on the lab,

and we'll move
if we have to.

WILL: I don't think
you should try it
without me.

I've brought
a few of these down.

So, we'll keep
an eye out,

and if we decide to
move, we can call you.

They do allow cell
phones at this spa?

One can only hope.

You're too good
for this.

Excuse me?

This research that you
wrote up on shoes

and how they define
a person?

It made me laugh.

Glad to be of service.

You should be
writing essays.

Well, I should be
playing ball for Arizona.

(CHUCKLES)
What's your point?

Kevin, you have
a real talent
for writing.

I know this because
judging writing's
what I do for a living.

You're wasted here.

Are you firing me?

I'm asking you to reach.

Well, I don't feel
like reaching.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Whatever you and I
have going on

is a matter for
the universe to handle.

You're a born writer.

Well, isn't that
a nice way out.

Do you have any idea

how many able-bodied people

would kill for your skill
as a writer?

No. Tell me.

Tell me.

I'm attracted to you.

You're attracted to me.

Big deal.

Isn't there a larger
question to answer?

Be who you are, Kevin.

I'll support it.

But what if
I just want to kiss you?

You'll have
to catch me first.

I'm in good shape.

I've been playing basketball.

(INHALES DEEPLY)

(SIGHS)

Hey.

Dude, what did you
do to Rove?

Nothing. Why?

He's always been
about you, okay,

but now he thinks
you're like a couple.

Oh, yeah.

I don't advocate
for teenage love,

but I've known the dude
since preschool.

He's stupid about you.

Well, I didn't
do anything.

Well, you kissed him.
He kissed me,

technically speaking.
(SCOFFS)

Good luck with that.

Dude, your parents
are out of town?

Go away.
Well, listen,

your parents
are going away
this weekend?

Don't make me beat you.

You know what you do
when your folks
are out of town?

Have a party,
girlfriend.

Who are you?

Have a party.

Right. You're you.

Just have a party.
That's what kids do.

Oh, this is the fun part.

"Your body will be
gently dry-brushed

"to eliminate surface toxins

"and to exfoliate
dead skin cells.

"Then you are wrapped
in a warm mixture of mud,

"essential oils, and seaweed."

This sounds like something
I would pay to avoid.

You don't have to spa.

But I have to go.

That wasn't a question.

I'm looking forward to it.

It's just that
I'm concerned

about being away
from work right now.

You're afraid
they'll replace you?

Roebuck needs my guidance.

It's a weekend, Will,

and I'm starting
to get hurt

that you don't value
some alone time with me.

Right now, it's hurt,

but it's one gripe away
from being pissed.

I'm sorry.

I really need to get away,

and the kids did this
for us.

They want it. They...

They want us to be
in love again,

no matter how much
they complain.

In love again?

I mean, in an obvious way.

Well, we couldn't be
obviously in love

at a golf resort?

Uh, that's all I'm saying.

Next time.

And you promise
I won't have to get

wrapped up in anything?

Nothing you don't like.

I still say what you gain in
the convenience factor

is lost in
the crispiness factor.

You realize no one's
listening to you.

No one ever
listens to me,

and yet I talk.

(SIGHS)
Whatever, Shakespeare.

Listen.
(SIGHS)

We need to make
a plan.

I have a plan,

tolerate high school,
get into MIT.

No. We need a plan
for this weekend.

The parentals
are out of town, right?

So, what do the kids do
when the parentals go away?

Stay up late,
play video games,
leave dishes in the sink.

Don't worry.
I'm all over this.

Luke, I need you to be
a little more ambitious here.

I'm thinking... a party.

A party?

Like, with kids our age?

(SARCASTICALLY)
No, like with
a bouncy castle.

Yes, dawg boy.

A party with actual people

of the opposite sex, like...
(INHALES DEEPLY)

(WHISPERS)
Grace Polk.

I admit I'm intrigued,
but who'd come?

I don't know.

Don't these things
just kind of happen?

All I need you to do
is take care of the music.

Did Mom and Dad
approve this?

Of course not.
It's clandestine.

Well, what about Kevin?

I mean, isn't... Isn't he
supposed to be in charge?

It's Saturday night.
His basketball night.

He goes out
with the guys after,

and never gets home
before midnight.

We'll kick everyone out
by then.
(FRIDGE DOOR CLOSES)

Okay, what about food
and stuff?

Huge bag of chips.

Beverages I need
to think about.

Hey.

Do I detect bacon?

Uh, yeah, sure.
Uh, it's yours.

(LUKE SNIFFS, CLEARS THROAT)

What's up?
Nothing.

Uh, we were
discussing chemistry.

Forget it.

What?

You're not having a party.

(LAUGHS)
A party.

That's a good one.

You think I haven't
been your age?

Kevin, look at us.

Rocket boy
and the sub-defective.

Like we even have
anyone to invite.

That's true.

I'm reassured.
(CLICKS TONGUE)

Well, hey, it's not
that unthinkable.

HELEN: You have all
our numbers, including
Dad's cell and pager.

Do your homework,
get to school on time,

and I think this goes
without saying,

no parties.

I've already
covered this.

They are
very unpopular.

Oh, good.
Uh, really?

Let's go. There's
going to be traffic.

Uh, Kevin's in charge.

Is that clear?
Bye, Mom. Have fun.

Enjoy your
body treatments.
JOAN: Ugh.

No one's getting wrapped.

HELEN: I might.
(CAR STARTS)

They'll never make it
the whole weekend.

Sure they will.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

I have an idea.
Mm-hmm.

We take the research piece
that you did,

and turn it into an essay.

And why
would we do that?

So I can run it
in the arts and entertainment
section next Sunday.

(WATER POURING)

I want you to lead
with the idea

that a teenage boy's sneakers

are the equivalent
to his first car.

Whoa. You're
talking about
me writing a piece?

With a byline
and everything?

I'm not a writer.

Sure you are.

But essay writing?
That's, like,
the best job.

You have staffers
elbowing for that.

Right.
I'm a fact checker.

Kevin, I am offering you
an opportunity here.

My advice is to take it.

Let me handle the infighting.

I'll help you with it.

How about... Saturday night?

Uh, I can't.
It's basketball night.

I could... cancel basketball?

Thank you.

We'll start around 6:00
when the day shift clocks out.

Maybe we should
pass out fliers.

Right, right.
Then Price finds out
and shuts us down.

Well, I don't think we can
rely on word of mouth.

In case
you haven't noticed,

we're not cool.

I thought you were cool.

No, I'm not.

Oh, we're
in big trouble then.

Are you guys
having a party?

BOTH: What?

It's all over school.

Big party at Girardi's
house tomorrow night.

I told Freidman,
and nobody listens to him.

So, am I invited,
or what?

Well, of course.

I hate parties.

It's a different kind
of party.

Latest head count's 75.

Seventy-five people?

What, were you
expecting zoo animals?

Twenty seniors
are confirmed.

Whoa, wait a minute.

We... We haven't even
talked about this.

What are we gonna serve?

I heard there was
gonna be a keg.

Possibly two.

Every party
needs a keg.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

Girardi, you do know
what you're getting into?

Of course I do.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

ADAM: Yo, Jane, um...

You're having a party?

(SCOFFS)

Yeah, I guess I am.

Am I invited?

Sure. I want you to come.

Am I coming as a guy who

knows the girl
who's throwing
the party? Or...

Maybe we should
talk about this later.

Talk about what?

Uh, chemistry, yo.

(WHALE SOUNDS PLAYING
SOFTLY ON SPEAKERS)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

I wonder if the sound
of ringing up our credit card

will be too much for them.

Shh.

Hello.

Allow me to welcome you
to the Willow Hills Spa
and Well-being Center.

Do you have luggage?

Yeah, we have
some bags in the car.

No need to shout, sir.

(WHISPERING) Girardi,
reservation for two.

Oh, yes.
I see you here.

If I can just
make an imprint
of your credit card.

Excuse me, sir.

Are you carrying
a firearm?

Oh, yes. I'm a police officer.

This is
a peaceful atmosphere.

We don't allow guns.

It's an aspect
of my profession.

Be that as it may,

we don't allow weapons.

I'm a police officer.

Be that as it may, sir.

Why does he
keep saying that?

(WHISPERING)
You can leave it
in the car.

(WHISPERING)
No, I can't.

This is a spa, sir.

The last time
I surrendered my weapon,

I nearly died.

Be that as it may.

I'm a police officer,
for God's sake.

We have to ask you
to lock your weapon
in our safe,

and even in doing that,

we will be violating
certain agreements.

I'm not surrendering
my weapon again.

Violence offends us, sir.

It offends me, too,
which is why I won't
give up my weapon.

Take us or leave us.

(WHISPERING)
I hear they have
really good food here.

Finally, I said, "Enough..."

I thought this was
a quiet place.

Will.
I'm just saying.

My sinuses are as open
as a church on Christmas.

(INHALES DEEPLY)
Just listen to me breathe.

You hear how the air
moves in and out?

I'd like to move
his air in and out.

I think
I'll sign us both up

for the Native American
treatment.

Oh, what's that? They
gently drag us through
the sand by our hair

until our skin is flayed?

And then later,
we're gently reassigned

to gambling casinos
in Arizona.

(WHISPERING) Will!
Helen,

I don't spa well.
This you know.

Okay, I will sign you up
for a basic aromatherapy
massage.

Aromatherapy?

MAN: And all that red meat
you were feeding me?

That's what caused
my colon crisis.

I'm lucky I'm not dead
because of the red meat.

Colon crisis?

(WHISPERING)
Keep it together.

Here's your chai tea.

Do I really need to hear
about his colon crisis?

Will.
He's talking about
his ass in public,

and you're my wife.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Hey!

Hey, Roscoe!
(SNIFFS)

Yeah, talk loud.
I'm in the healing
waters here.

(LAUGHS)

Load me up
on the pharmaco.

Yeah, and don't short me.

Right, no, I know
it's a risk.

What the hell's
another condo in Florida?
You know what I'm saying?

Excuse me, sir?
This is a quiet place.

Will!
MAN: Hold on, Roscoe.

What was that?

Nothing.

It's just that

when they asked me
to check my gun,

they explained

it was because this is
a quiet, peace-loving place.

So, why do I have to hear
about your stock portfolios,

let alone
your colon crisis?

You had to check
your gun? Who are you?

Here, honey.
Chai tea.

Never mind him.

That's right.
Never mind me.

Hey, listen, buddy,
I have a right to talk.

I'm conducting
business here.

Maybe you're free
to lounge around,

but some of us,
we have to work
for a living.

Oh, I don't work
for a living?

MAN: No, no, no, no.
I'm still here, Roscoe.

There's some girly man
here in the spa

who's in my face,

Like I need this.

Helen.

Will.

Go on. Have a seat.
Have a seat.

This is a bad idea.

We're having
a party, dude.

You can't have a party
without beverages.

Joan, we're underage.

Oh, like this whole thing
was my idea?

LUKE: If... If it wasn't
your idea, then whose...

Look, just go
to the snack section,

leave this to me, okay?

(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC
PLAYING SOFTLY ON STEREO)

Hi.

I need a keg... or two.

Uh, you sell those, right?

Yep.

It's for an office party,

at the place where I work.

With people my age.

Older people.

Um, so how much for a keg,

and do you deliver?

I need to see some ID.

(LAUGHS)
Come on.

I'm 23.

I'll pay you in cash.

There's something
in it for you?

Fraud and bribery.

Not bad for a 16-year-old.

God smokes?

I don't inhale.

What makes you think
you need beer for a party?

The kids at school...

Six-packs of soda
in a big ice bucket,

family-size bags
of Doritos and Funyuns,

a stereo that works.

You're done.

Now, what do you think
about bean dip?

It's a cliche,
but, you know,
it's a crowd-pleaser.

Let's go.
We're not buying
anything from here.

We aren't?

JOAN: No.

The Master
of the universe
here carded me.

I told you that office party
scheme wouldn't fly.

Joan?

You did invite Adam?

Sure.

And he realizes
you're inviting him?

As in a date?

Figure it out.

I'm sorry. He...
He's approving
the guest list?

One foot in front
of the other.

It is a split infinitive!

It's what
I wanted to say.

Well, I'm all for that,
but can't you say
what you want

without violating
the English language?

Well, I don't know.
I don't have a big honkin'
education like you do.

Oh, please. You're gonna
have to try harder than that.

(SIGHS)
She'll call back.
Stay focused.

What she? I'm in charge
of my siblings this weekend.

My parents
are out of town.

Your siblings?

I'm in charge.

Do you really care
if they have a party?

I'm supposed to.

Here's what
you're in charge of:

your career.

That is what I am trying
to give you,

but if you don't want it,
I can't help you.
(SIGHS)

Who says
I don't want it?

Don't make trouble.

Are we even talking
about the article
anymore?

Yes, we are.

(CHUCKLES)

(WATER TRICKLING)

(SOOTHING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC
PLAYING ON SPEAKERS)

We're ready for you.

(INAUDIBLE)

ATTENDANT: Here you go.

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

(SCOFFS SOFTLY)

You, uh,
here for a treatment?

Yes.

Me, too.

(SNIFFS)

Are we supposed
to ring a bell
or anything?

(WHISPERING)
This is the quiet room.

(WHISPERING)
Right.

So, if we just
stay quiet,

somebody will
come and get us?

That's the idea.

What are you having?

Shut... up.

(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(GLASS SHATTERING)

Oh, my God.

LUKE: Yeah.

Who are
these people?

LUKE: I have no idea.

They... They must be popular.

Did you pay them?

No. I considered it.

(JOAN SIGHS)

Looks like they're
actually dancing,

and having fun.

Isn't this
what you expected?

Hey, I just do
what I'm told, dude.

Look, Grace is here.

(GIRLS SCREAMING)

Hi.

Uh, Luke will
take your coats.

What am I?

Fascinating.
It's like

a druid solstice ritual
without the viscera.

Stick around.
The night is young.

I need salt.

Hey.

Hi.

I have to host, so...

Sure.

Okay.

Hey! There are
plenty of chips
in the living room, okay?

This is like people food.

Dude, check out
my bratwurst.

Hey, hey,
that is my dad's
Italian salami

that he has
flown in from,
like, New Jersey.

Um, if you order
a pizza,

everyone will
calm down.

Pizza? That works?

Somehow, it soothes
the savage breast.

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

Yeah. Hold that thought.

Grace, can you...
Can you help here?

Apparently not.

Hello?

KEVIN: Hey, dude.

Kevin, hey.

What's goin' on?

Oh, uh, you know, man.

Just, um,
raiding the fridge.

BOY: Excuse me.
KEVIN: With who?

LUKE: Uh, Grace.
Grace is here.

BOY: What's up?
And... And Adam's
here somewhere.

(MUSIC PLAYING OVER PHONE)
Sounds loud.

You guys aren't doing
anything stupid, are you?

No. (CHUCKLES)
Definitely not.

Good, because I'd hate
to have to come
and check on you.

And I'd hate to find
a party in the house.

(CLICKS TONGUE)
And I'd hate to have to
tell Mom and Dad.

Everything's fine.

God, Kev,
you know me, man.

I'm more responsible
than Margaret Thatcher.

GIRL: Get out of my way, geek!

KEVIN: Yeah, well,
keep it that ,

or else I'm coming home.

Don't worry.

(CORK POPS)
BOY: Dude, champagne!

(ALL CHEERING)

(SOOTHING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC
PLAYING ON SPEAKERS)
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

(CELL PHONE BEEPS)
TONI: Will?

Is this a bad time?

(SOFTLY) Uh, well,
it's a quiet time.

I won't keep you.
Um, I just wanted
to let you know,

we're moving
on this meth lab.

(LOUDLY)
What?

TONI: Roebuck
made the call.

They got tipped off,
and they're packing up.

We have to go in
tonight.

I'm uncomfortable
with this.

Let me talk
to Roebuck.

He's at the station.
I'm here with Carlisle.

Will, he left it
up to me.

Are you telling me
to back off?

(LOUDLY)
Dammit! I'm s...

I'm saying wait.

Wait at least an hour

until I can get to
a real phone
or a real place.

(WHISPERING)
Okay, buddy!
Off, now!

Please, I'm a cop.

Yeah, I'm
an investment banker,

and you shut
me down.

And this
is the quiet room.

I know it's the quiet room.

That's why I'm being quiet.

(MAN SHUSHING)
BANKER: I'll take care
of this.

I know the manager,
all right?

Fine. Just get out
of my face.

Give me that.
(GRUNTS)

I'd just walk away,
if I were you.

Give me that...

(GROANS)

MAN: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

BANKER: Come on!

WILL: I'll show you
some meditation, spa boy!

(ALL GRUNTING)

Wait! What the heck?

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

Such is our policy for anyone
who participates in acts

even remotely related
to violence

here at Willow Hills Spa
and Well-being Center.

But because of the hour
and the fact that
you're paid in full,

we will grant
a dispensation.
He started it.

I don't care
who started it, sir!

You participated.

And I've had my eye on you
from the beginning.

Oh, yes,

Mr. Gun-in-your-armpit.

It was on my belt.

He is a cop.

Yes. Everyone
is painfully aware.

Now, I'm respectfully
requesting

that you remain
in your room

for the rest of the evening,
and that you leave

first thing
tomorrow morning.

He's grounding us?

If that's how you
choose to see it.

(SIGHS) Why don't we
just leave?

And give him
the satisfaction?

I was thinking
of my satisfaction,

but apparently
I'm the only one.

I'm sorry, honey.
There was a situation.

Be that as it may...

Oh, shut up!

Look, you hate
being here,

you didn't
wanna come.

Obviously, spending
some quiet time
with me

is not top of
your list...

Helen, you're wrong
about that.

And please don't
use the word "quiet."

Let's just forget it
and get outta here.

It's late.

You're tired, I'm tired.

Let's stay.

Can we order
room service?

(CLICKS TONGUE)
We do not offer
room service.

There's a delicious
vegan restaurant
on the premises,

but... Oops.

I forgot.

You're forbidden
to go there.

If you're hungry,

I suggest you just

chew on the consequences
of your actions.

(DOOR CLOSES)

(LAUGHING) "Chew on
the consequences
of your actions"?

(BOTH LAUGHING)

I'm still mad at you.

(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(LAUGHTER)

(BOTH MOANING)

Oh, man. Here's Luke in
a little dalmatian outfit.

Oh! Look at his
little ears!

LUKE: It was Halloween.
I was three. Put that away...

Hey... Let me see.

The color palette
suits you.

Dude, your sister's,
like, naked.

LUKE: She's a baby!

JOAN: Hey!
What are you doing?

No, no, no!
Give me those! Get out!

Get out! Luke,

people are raiding
the liquor cabinet.

Yeah, I know.

Why didn't you
stop them?

Like I can.

Look at the legs
on her.

Are those
my baby pictures?

Impressive use of fat.

This is a nightmare.

Hey. Do you wanna dance?
What?

Uh, dance. With me?

Adam, I can't! I'm
at a party here, okay?

Give me that.

Just thought I'd ask.

JOAN: Excuse me.

Sure are makin'
a lot of marks.

It's just editorial.

It's really good, Kevin.

Really?

Yeah.

Make these changes
and file it.

You're not just
cutting me a break?

No, of course not,

because you're
the, uh, person who
doesn't cut me a break.

Thank you
for trusting me.

Uh, don't make me
get up out of this chair.

I'm handicapped, not stupid.

I know better than to let
a beautiful woman walk away.

(CLICKS TONGUE)
We work together.

So?

So,

it would be
professionally unsound.

(INHALES DEEPLY)

I've done stupider things.

(GRUNTS)

Ooh!

Thing is, it doesn't matter

how much you weigh.
I can't feel it.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Thanks for... this.

And for everything.
(CHUCKLES)

I mean it.

You're welcome.

I mean it.

So, we goin' in?

I'm still waiting
for the call.

He's not the chief anymore.

(CELL PHONE RINGS, BEEPS)

Williams.

I'm on a stakeout.

Are you really calling me
on a noise complaint?

That's Will Girardi's address.

I don't know.

I'll take care of it.

(CELL PHONE BEEPS)

Are we really leaving this

on a noise complaint?

It's our boss' house.
It could be noise.

It could be something else.

(CAR STARTING)

And that's a "Q",

and that's 24 points,

and if I understand
the rules,

you should be
removing something

right now.

I'm still mad at you.

No, you're not.

You don't understand.
You weren't there.

You punched out
a guy in a robe!

Hey, I was
in a robe, too.

That is just
not like you, Will.

Nothing since you were
taken hostage

has been like you.

Oh, really?

Is this what they call

post-traumatic stress?

Like I care
what they call it.

The man

held a gun to my head.

He was about to
pull the trigger.

I knew I was
gonna die, Helen.

So, I did
the whole life review.

I saw you and the kids.

I said goodbye
to you. I said

I'm sorry.

I... I pictured you
all carrying on

without me

because I knew
you'd be okay.

What kind of man am I?

I was willing
to leave my family.

My God.

Will...

But what could I do?

(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

JOAN: Let's go.
Let's go.

No upstairs. It's not
that kind of party.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Do these things
ever end?

Eventually, people pass out.

Do you wanna dance?

No. I want all these
people to go home!

Do you want a drink?

I'd love some water.

Done.

(BALLAD PLAYING ON STEREO)

Wanna dance?

Can I say no?

Of course you can.

Come on.

♪ In the silence
words come easy...

So, how did you like
your party?

(SIGHS)
I don't.

What's the big idea?

The big idea
is recreation.

You know what
that means?

Whatever.

Well, let's break
the word down, shall we?

Re-create.

To create again.

Begin again.

To start over.

People need to do that.

Work is fine,

but every now and then,
you've gotta take a break

and re-create.

Adam is confused.

Adam is always confused.

Okay. Well, you're
introducing new levels
of confusion.

I'm not ready to couple.

So, tell him.

(SIGHS)

♪ Love is so close
to hurting ♪

Remember, recreation
isn't about relaxing.

It's about redefining.

Redefining what?

Whatever's become undefined.

Shouldn't you be
a better dancer?

(DOORBELL RINGS)

Excuse me,
Your... Almightiness.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

I'm Sergeant Williams.

We received
a noise complaint.

Think it's about time
to break things up.

Thank God.

Everybody,
the police are here!

Time to get out!

Come on! Clear out!

(DISGRUNTLED CHATTER)

Thank you for that.

I work with your father.

Uh, you're not gonna...

You're not gonna
tell him, are you?

He has enough
on his mind.

Thank you.

FEMALE NEWSCASTER: (ON TV)
The mayor could not
be reached for comment.

A big explosion
in Arcadia tonight.

An abandoned house
literally went up
in a mushroom cloud.

Reports just in from Arcadia

say that the police
were about to move in
on this location,

which they long suspected
to be a methamphetamine lab.

The police raid was delayed,

as the fire spread to
three adjacent properties,

but was quickly contained.

A total of 17 local
residents were displaced...
(CELL PHONE BEEPS)

...and are currently being
assisted by the Red Cross.
(BALLAD PLAYING ON STEREO)

And the flame, smoke
and water damage
to the building

and surrounding properties
is estimated...

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Sergeant Williams.

No, Will, I'm fine.

Everyone's fine.

♪ Love, let's make
time stand still

♪ Let this moment last until

♪ Two become one ♪

Hey.

What are you doing
out here?

Waiting for my father
to pick me up.

Uh, are you okay?

Yeah, Joan, I'm fine.

I liked it better
when you called me Jane.

Those days are over.

Why are you mad at me?

(SIGHS)

I don't know.

Maybe...

Maybe I'm bad
at stuff like this.

But we kissed.

It's not exactly like
I've kissed a lot of girls.

Maybe I've only kissed one.

Right.

Well, maybe it meant
something to me.

Maybe it meant something
to me, too.

(STUTTERS) I don't...

I don't know
what to do with it now.

(CHUCKLES)

Me, neither.

You know, maybe
it was like that, uh,

anti-drug guy says,
you know?

Romantic love,
it's like a mental illness.

It just happens,
you know?

And then what
are you gonna do?

Maybe we
just aren't ready.

Yeah.

Okay, I accept that.

But were you ready
for that other guy?

That's different.

(SIGHS)

♪ Ooh

♪ Ooh, ooh, oh, yeah

Hey.

You want to dance?

♪ Just tell me where you are

♪ And I will come and get you

♪ Don't you know
my love for you is true?

♪ Just give me a sign

♪ And I will be behind you

♪ Don't you know
I have to find you?

♪ Don't tell me that it's over

♪ That's not how it should be
Yeh

♪ Ooh

♪ Babe, I recognize

(CHUCKLES)

♪ I see it in your eyes

♪ There's been too much hurt
to mend these lines

♪ But if we come together

♪ Make our love forever

♪ That would be
the greatest treasure

♪ But don't tell me
that it's over

♪ You just got to believe

♪ Baby, don't you
care about the love?

♪ Happy, happiness
And I

♪ Guess sometimes things
don't w♪