All language subtitles for Joan.of.Arcadia.S01E07.Death.Be.Not.Whatever.1080p.CTV.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264-AVoW_track3_[eng]

(JEOPARDY AIRING ON TV)

Buttered,
unbuttered.

What about
The Godfather?

No! We've only seen it
like a 111 times.

There are nuances.

I vote for
something funny.
Yeah.

Okay.
Duck Soup.

No! Nothing
black and white. Come on.

How about
Godfather Part 2?

How about instead of
watching a movie,

we just talk about
movies for two hours?

Nothing sad.
I don't want to cry.

Oh, Mom, you cried
when you saw

Bill & Ted's
Excellent Adventure.

You know, it's becoming
increasingly obvious

that the only thing
we have in common is DNA.

JOAN: Bah!
REPORTER: Breaking news.

Our station has just
received the following
video footage.

As you can see...
Will.

...this is
Downtown Arcadia,
and we're watching

some kind of
physical dispute

between and a civilian
and the Arcadia police.

This footage was recorded
earlier by a local resident

from his apartment.
(CELL PHONE RINGS)

The identity
of the suspect...
(TELEPHONE RINGS)

...has not been confirmed
at this time,

and the Arcadia Police
Department has not yet
released a statement.

So much
for movie night.

(BEEPS)

Yeah?

♪ What if God was one of us?

♪ Just a slob like one of us

♪ Just a stranger on the bus

♪ Trying to make his way home

♪ Just trying
to make his way home

♪ Just trying
to make his way home ♪

What if you just want
to live in your car?

Where's the booth
for that?

Dude,
you have a car?

It was an attempt
at humor, Rove.

And I told you
about "dude."

I tried "yo."
It didn't take.

I so don't have time

to think about
my future right now.

Is it just me, or are you
spacier than usual?

I don't like
November.

The whole month?
Yeah.

Well, what did November
ever do to you?

I'm like so behind
in my classes.

How do you feel
about February?

I hate February.

What's with
hating months?

That's like
arbitrary.

Ahem. Pardon me,

But the point of this
afternoon is to pretend

that you might one day

make a valuable
contribution to society.

Perhaps you could
play along.

For example, Miss Polk,
you might want to

look into journalism,
which is a profession

where they actually
pay people

to be cynical
and disaffected.

Not since all
the publications

got consumed by
media conglomerates

who manipulate
information and...

Go. And what career

would you like to
explore, Mr. Rove?

I want to do something

soulless and corporate,
Mr. Price.

Good choice.

Maybe I'll just browse.

Hmm.

Okay.

God.

May I answer any
questions for you?

I don't know.
Is it kind of gross

breathing all
that recycled air?

All air is
recycled, Joan.

You've heard
of photosynthesis.

Look, Madam Almighty,

it's really awkward when you
just drop in at school,

and I'm not gonna become
a flight attendant,

if that's what you're
here to tell me.

Not at all.

I find career day
a little bit bogus.

It's too early for you
to be thinking that way.

Then, why'd you
make me get a job?

Well, that's different.
That's work.

Work is
a spiritual exercise.

It keeps things moving
along, prevents stasis,

builds character.
Most of all,

the point of working
is to help.

(SCOFFS) Help what?
Hmm! Each other.

Each other do what?

Whatever needs to be done.
Well, what needs to be done?

Okay, would you just
let me finish?

You're about to realize
that you're gonna be

in the position
to help someone.

And how will I know?

You're going to
pay attention.

You might even listen
and stop interrupting.

You have to look
at behavior.

Not everyone knows
how to ask for help.

Now move along. Unless
you want your friends

to think
you're interested
in this profession.

(CHUCKLES)
Buh-bye!

(SIRENS WAILING)

We clocked him at 15 miles
over the speed limit.

He gave chase.

Um, we finally
forced him to stop.

I approached the vehicle.

We did everything
by the numbers.

The guy was slinging
serious trash

in between
making no sense.

He was on something.

Yeah. I mean, I, uh...
I told him to turn around,

and put his hands
on the vehicle,

but he wouldn't listen.
He just kept arguing,

you know, and
flailing his arms

like he wanted to take
a swing at us.

At this point, we're
getting nervous.

I said it to him again.
He didn't respond.

And that's when he, um,
reached into his pocket,

and we didn't know
if he had a weapon or...

You didn't frisk him?

The guy
wouldn't settle down
long enough, Chief.

That's what we're
trying to tell you.

He was twitchy.
He was on something.

We're waiting for
the tox screen to come back.

He's still at county.

They say he's got
a concussion.

Then what?

Then what what?

How did you get from there
to what I saw on the tape?

The guy was a nut,
Chief.

He... He wouldn't
listen to us.

I used reasonable force
to subdue a suspect, sir.

Chief, IAD Is here.

Okay.

Just give it
to them straight.

Yes, sir.

WILL: Now, you're both
suspended for 30 days.
You know that.

It's policy.

What for?

It's policy.

What the hell?

The way they see it,
they made a judgment call.

They expect you
to back them.

WILL: I know what
it's like out there.

It hasn't been that long.

My position is we'll
figure out what happened

and act appropriately.

Has anyone talked to
the suspect or his family?

An attempt was made,
but they're not gonna talk

until they see a lawyer.

Okay.

It's nice of you
to take this time for me.

I'm not
a practicing Catholic,

or any religion.

The job of a priest is
to serve humankind.

And, you know,
fund-raising.

Heh! So, uh...

So, that's why I kept bugging
you in the parking lot,

because of my son,

and all these questions
that came up for me.

I'm not really crazy.

I understand.

You look different
in your clothes.

Oh! (GUFFAWS)

I'm sorry! No, I...

It's okay.
Priests scare people.

You're worried that I'm
seeing into your soul,

or gossiping
about you with God.

Oh, no, no.
Priests just make me feel
like I'm going to hell.

Why is that?

(EXHALES) I don't know.
I'm just rambling.

I think I need
someone to talk to.

I've been doing this
perpetually optimistic,

"everything's gonna
work out" thing,

and it's not
going so well.

I've been crying a lot more
than I used to.

Are you familiar with
the five stages of grief?

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
spelled them out
intelligently in her book

On Death and Dying.

You might want
to read that.

But my son didn't die.

And I know that I should

just stop complaining
and be grateful.

Kevin didn't pass on,
it's true,

but all of you
experienced a kind of death.

Of the life
you imagined for him.

Yes.

The philosopher,
Kierkegaard,

he said that the most
painful state of being

is remembering the future.

Particularly one
you can never have.

I should... I, uh...

I only get a half
an hour for lunch.

That's okay.

Thank you.

"Sublimation is
the process of conversion

"from solid state
to gaseous state,

"while bypassing
the liquid state."

Does this make
any sense to you?

CO2 solid
becomes CO2 gas.

What does that
even mean?

I told you, I don't know.

I just memorize things.

Rove, you plus cranky

becomes a real
pain in the ass.

I've explained
my situation, Jane.

(WOMAN SOBBING)

God.

Excuse me.

Are... Are you okay?

Is there anything
I can do to help?

My ex-husband
suddenly met a woman,

and moved to Mexico
with her. (SNIFFLES)

He stopped sending
child-support payments,

so I'm trying to raise
my eight-year-old son

on the money I make
as a waitress.

Oh, the guy I work with
is such an ass.

That's bad.

Yeah! It gets worse.
(CHUCKLES SADLY)

My babysitter quit
and moved to Hawaii.
(CHUCKLES)

I'm trying

to go to night school

and become
a legal assistant.

But if I don't find
somebody pretty soon,

I'm just gonna have to quit.

You know what?
I'm just gonna quit.

I'll be a waitress
for the rest of my life.
(SOBS)

So, you need help.

Were you listening
or what, you know?

Because... Yeah.

You need a babysitter?

Yeah, I need a babysitter.

I need a cheap babysitter
who's not a psycho.

I can do it.
And I'm not a psycho.

Rocky, my kid,
he's really a great kid.

He mostly
entertains himself.

And you're really
not a psycho?

No, I'm...
I'm totally normal.

You can even
ask my friend.

Um, maybe you
should just take
my word for it.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(TELEPHONES RINGING)

The Mayor's here.

I noticed the seas parting.

Mr. Mayor.
Mr. Chief.

This is Brad Crewson.

He's the PR wrangler
for the department.

Yes, we've met.

Well, we all know
why we're here.

I want to come out
of this strong, Will.

I do not want to take
a defensive posture,

and most of all,
I want it handled.

IAD is talking
to the boys.

I've suspended them
for the time being,

and I'm making a statement
to the press today.

Let's talk about
that statement.

Here's your statement.

Let me guess.

We're distancing ourselves
from our boys.

Oh, come on.
You know how it is.

We can't argue their case

with that videotape
floating around.

It sounds like
we're supporting
police brutality.

WILL: We don't know
anything yet,

and when we do,
we'll put the blame
where it belongs.

They beat the crap
out of an unarmed man.

They didn't know
he was unarmed.

We don't know
he wasn't on drugs.

We don't know
anything yet.

Ray Hartzel is
in the hospital

with a concussion
and three broken ribs.

He nearly lost an eye.

Raymond Hartzel, who was
driving without a license,

gave chase
on a public street,

resisted arrest,
and threatened
a police officer.

Allegedly.

So, our story is alleged,
and his is gospel?

I have my own statement.

Be reasonable, Will.

I've done this without
a script for a long time.

Not this job, you haven't.

Any prepackaged nonsense
is gonna sound that way.

You can sing
your statement
for all I care,

but if this comes
back on me, Will,
let's just say

I hope you're not too
comfortable in that chair.

These are my men.
This situation
happened on my turf.

I will make the statement,
and I will take the heat.

Fine.

By the way, have you
filed charges
against the victim?

The perpetrator?

Charges are
still pending.

Detective Williams
is handling it.

Okay. Keep me apprised.

Father Ken, um,
it's Helen Girardi.

Could you give me
a call sometime?

It's not urgent.

Whenever it's convenient.

I-I got that book,

and I'm having trouble
figuring out

what stage of grief I'm in.

Um, I think I'm somewhere

between denial
and bargaining,

and I think I skipped
right over anger.

Hi, Mom.

Oh, God! Not you.

Hey.

Talking to your
boyfriend again?

That's not funny, Luke.

Well, I admit it wasn't
my best material, but...

Weird.

Good job
on the garden show.

Did you know
that the hydrangea

can change color
from bloom to bloom,

depending upon
the acidity of the soil?

Is that a fact?
It is,

because facts are my life.

I just a got a statement
from the chief of police.

You want me to read it to you?

"We take police
misconduct seriously,

"and we don't
tolerate it
on any level.

"If we are convinced
our officers
were out of line,

"we will take swift
and draconian measures."

Draconian.
So, he's smarter
than the last guy.

"I will keep the public
informed on this matter

"as it progresses.
Thank you."

Go write the story.

Not much of a story.

Black guy gets holy hell
beaten out of him.

White chief of police
says he backs his guys.

That's not
all he said.
Oh, come on.

Nothing's gonna happen
to these cops.

Dave, you should
know that Kevin...

I'm just a fact checker.
I got no politics.

So, go write the story.

I've been a cop's kid
my whole life.

You don't have to
worry about me.

Besides, aren't you the one

I'm going to remember
for not cutting me
any breaks?

I don't think those
were my words.

Well, if it's
any consolation,
my dad's a fair guy.

He's not a racist.
He'll do the right thing.

Did I imply
something else?

No. I just...

It felt implied
somewhere in there.

I've had
this complexion
my whole life.

You don't need to
worry about me.

Hi.

Um, you must be Rocky.
I'm Joan.

How old are you?
Sixteen.

Do you smoke?
No.

Exercise moderately?

I guess. (CHUCKLES)

Your current
life expectancy is
approximately 85.

Rocky, don't
creep Joan out.

Hi.
Hi.

He likes facts.
Come on in.

Okay.

My mom used to smoke,
so her life expectancy

is seven years less
than yours.

Okay, well, he's already
had his dinner,

and he can have
a snack at 7:00

when he's watching
the Discovery Channel.

It's disaster week.
Tsunamis tonight.

Thousands dead.

Rocky.
Okay, bedtime is 9:00.

I'll be back at 10:00,
at the latest.

Um, cell phone...
Cell phone number's
on the fridge,

and I need to
show you something.

He has some
breathing issues.

Sometimes
it can act up.

Now, he knows
exactly which
inhalers to use,

but if it gets bad,
I need you
to call me.

Okay.

And I have chemistry
homework, too, so...

Oh, really?
Rocky, she's got
chemistry homework,

so don't talk her
to death.

Don't worry.
Once the disasters start,

he'll be glued to the set.

Ah.

Bye, sweetie.

I can list
all the organic poisons
in alphabetical order.

Kevin! Luke!

Dinner!

No Joan?

No. She's, um...
She's babysitting.

Her latest enterprise.

Do you think she's saving up
for a tattoo or something?

Nothing would
surprise me.

Long day, huh?

I don't want
to talk about it.

Tell me what you did.

Did you go out
to lunch again?

I only get half an hour.
You know that.

Well, I called you
at work yesterday.

They said you were
off campus for lunch.

I just needed to get some air
and a decent cup of coffee.

Kevin! Luke!
(CELL PHONE RINGS)

Hello?
LUKE: Your turn to set.

My arms are tired.
Hey, Dad.

WILL: Okay. Thanks.

How long will it be?

Save me a plate.

KEVIN: Bye, Dad.

LUKE: Bye, Dad.

(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT
OVER PA SYSTEM)

DETECTIVE: Koczara
was still conscious.

His wife found him
in plenty of time.

What was it?

Antidepressant.

Doc had given him some
to get him through this.

It's impossible to know
how this will affect us,

in terms of negative fallout.

If you'll excuse me.

WILL: Officer Koczara.

Mrs. Koczara.

I'm sorry, Chief.

I'm not proud of myself.

The important thing
is you're okay.

That's what
I keep telling him.

Lucky you came home
when you did.

I almost stopped off
for a drink with the girls,

else I wouldn't have
been there in time.

They're gonna keep
you overnight.

You're getting
a psych consult.

I can't believe
you have the nerve,

calling him nuts.

It is normal for him
to be depressed

after what you did.
Nancy.

His whole life,
he's wanted to be a cop.

He lives and he breathes it.

You take that away from him,
this is what happens.

He wasn't fired.

He was suspended,
temporarily.

What she's saying is,

it's a stain against me.

It's a humiliation,

suggesting that
I'm a bad cop.

Some freakin' skel
talks trash at me,

and I respond with
an acceptable amount of force,

I'm the one
who gets in trouble?

How does that work?

NARRATOR: Galveston tidal wave
is over 20 feet high,

wiping out entire
neighborhoods

as its fury was
unleashed on the town...

Is this really
good for you?

Death is a natural
part of life.

Why does it scare you?

Maybe because it looks
like it might hurt.

You can't feel death.

How do you know?

I've researched it.

A chemical goes off
in your brain

that anesthetizes you,

So, the worst that
happens is nothing,

and you just go away
and cease to be.

See, now that seems
like it would suck,
ceasing to be.

Where's the fun
in that?

It's only our consciousness
that ceases to be.

Matter is neither created
nor destroyed.

Just out of curiosity,

why are you so
interested in death?

'Cause that's where
we're all heading.
That's how the story ends.

Why worry about it now?

I have breathing issues.
It's a lung disorder.

You can die from that.

Rocky, you're
just a little kid.

You're not dying, okay?

They can fix all kinds
of things nowadays,

so just take it easy
and stop obsessing.

(COMMENTARY ON TV CONTINUES)

(SIGHS)

but it's difficult
to make a judgment

until all the facts are in.

Aside from
the Chief of Police's

statement to the press,

no comment has been made
at this point.

I'm late. I am so late.

Did Luke leave already?

I think so.

Oh, man. Where's Mom?

She had some kind
of early appointment.

(SIGHS) Why can't they make
homeroom at a reasonable time?

I mean, you're
the Chief of Police.

Can't you take care of it?

It's on the top of my list,

investigate
public school schedules.

NEWSCASTER:
We've learned the identity
of the man in question,

29-year-old
Raymond Hartzel.

Dad, you're not in trouble
over this, are you?

I'm the Chief of Police.

It's my job to be in trouble.

Good luck.

NEWSCASTER: Police say
Hartzel was driving
without a license,

gave chase on a public street,

resisted arrest,
and threatened
a police officer.

Do... Do you
need any help?

Do you have any?

Well, apparently,

you're supposed to
pay attention to behavior,

because people don't
always ask for help.

Really?

Yeah. And...

That's all I got. Bye, Dad.

Hi. I'm sorry I'm late.

It's okay.
Got your message
about the book.

I look forward
to discussing it.

I can't stay.
I just came to tell you

I don't think
I can see you anymore.

Oh.

Um...

I'm lying to my husband
about seeing you,

which is wrong,

and kind of defeats
the purpose of
talking to a priest.

Helen, I completely
understand.

Not that there's
anything to lie about.

I mean,
I know a lot of people
get crushes on priests,

but I love my husband.

Helen, I think what
you're touching on here

is that you should be
talking to your husband,

and you miss being
able to do that.

But you don't understand
what kind of job he has,

and it's especially
bad right now.

I just can't make it
worse for him.

I've married
a lot of people,

and I remember the words.

You're depriving him
of the privilege

of living up to them.

Well, when you
put it like that...

I'll think about it.

WILL: Do you have
a take on this?

Well, I'm working it out
right beside you.

And Koczara?

Not my favorite.

The odd offensive remark
now and then,
when he's been drinking.

Across the board, though,

he doesn't single out
any particular brand.

And yet, you can't
really look at me
when you say that.

I could benefit
from your candor,
Detective.

And don't worry
about the blue wall.

Everything stays
right here.

The guy's a racist.

In my opinion,

he was looking
for an excuse.

Raymond Hartzel's
been released
and lawyered up.

I'm going to interview him,

but due to the sensitive
nature of the situation,

I think you should be there.

I think so, too.
Set it up.

Two general categories
of energy. Uh, Luke.

Kinetic and potential.

With the sexier
of the two being?

Potential,
for its chemical bonds

being the forces
that hold atoms together.

And we have to remember
that this potential energy...

This kid is totally
obsessed with death.

Isn't that strange?

No stranger
than being obsessed

with this stuff,
like atom boy.

I heard that.

I mean, he's got
asthma or something,

but it's not like
he's gonna die from it.

Then maybe he knows
someone who's dead.

You can't know dead people.

(SCOFFS) Forget I
attempted to contribute.

Seriously.
What is wrong with you?

He doesn't like November.

Hey!

Hey!

Hi, Joan.

How do you like
babysitting?

It's okay.

He's kind of freaky,
you know.

He has a lot
on his mind.

Like his asthma?

It's not asthma.

He tried to tell you
what it is,

but you ignored him.

I understand why.

You don't want to look
at anyone's pain.

The trouble is,
when you try to avoid it,

you stop helping,
people end up alone.

You care about
everybody so much.

Why can't you help them?

Hey, I'll do my job,
and you do yours.

Mine is confusing.

I thought I was supposed
to help the mother,

and now I'm supposed
to help Rocky?

Where does it end?

It doesn't.

Help kind of moves around,

like light.

Even a little bit is good.

Well, if I help two people,

do I at least get
extra points?

It's not
a point system, Joan.

You don't get coupons.

(SIGHS)

What kind of system is it?

A perfect one.

Trust me.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

I'm listening.

I'm finished.

Hey.

♪ No use to fly away

♪ To my yesterday

♪ Of freedom... ♪

MAN: Raymond's under
strict physician's orders.

Due to his recent
head injuries,

he can't participate
in an interview
longer than 30 minutes.

Understood.

It's also to be understood
that these doctors

have determined that Raymond
has traumatic amnesia.

He can only remember
the events up to a point.

Anything Mr. Hartzel
can tell us
would be helpful.

Ready?

Mr. Hartzel,
I'm Detective
Toni Williams

with the Arcadia
Police.

I like the police.

I'm gonna ask you
a few questions.

I like the uniforms.

According to
their statement,

around 5:15 p.m.
on Monday,

they clocked you
going 15 miles over
the speed limit,

hit their lights,

giving you a full
ten minutes to respond.

It was my sister's car.

She lets me
borrow it sometimes,

even though I shouldn't.

I went to the store
to get things for dinner.

She needed unsalted butter
and green onions.

Make sure the butter
is unsalted.

Are you sure
you're the police?

You're pretty.

Is this secondary
to the head injury?

No.

My client's always had
an IQ Just shy of 70,

which helps explain
his resistance

to your officer's orders.

That policeman
was yelling at me,

but I had to get home.

Because of
the unsalted butter.

So, we're clear
on the situation?

(SIGHS) Your mom's
gonna be home soon.

You'd better start
to get sleepy.

It's all right.
She won't yell at me.

She's too guilty about
going to night school.

What are you reading?

Modern Vampires.

Are the modern ones
any different?

I mean, do they
improve substantially?

No. Same rules.

No garlic, no daylight,

in the coffin by sunrise.

Seriously, Rocky, um...

Do you know why
you're so interested
in this stuff?

Is there something
bothering you?

Maybe something
you'd like to tell me?

I mean, something
that you tried
to tell me before,

but I wasn't
listening to you.

So...

Something is bothering me.

Go ahead.

The Spanish flu
epidemic of 1918?

It killed more than twice
the amount of people

who died in World War I.

So, why is it still
an obscure point in history?

MOTHER: I'm home!
Joan?

He was up, wasn't he?

Yeah, he was.
I'm a bad disciplinarian.

It's okay, 'cause
I'm in a good mood.

I passed my latest exam, whoo,

and I just found out
that my babysitter

is coming back to town.

Apparently, Hawaii was
too humid for her hair.

Oh. Okay.

Yeah, so tomorrow will be
your last day with Rocky.

Oh.

You went and got
attached to him,
didn't you?

He has that way with people.

Yeah, I did. Um...

I'm kind of, uh,
worried about him.

Why?

He seems to think
that he's dying.

He is dying.

You mean like

dying-dying?

There's another kind?

His breathing disorder,

it's cystic fibrosis.
There's no cure.

He's going through
a good spell right now.

They call it
a grace period.

But he could
grow up and stuff?

It's an
unpredictable disease.

He has
an aggressive form.

He's had a lot of episodes.

There's scar tissue
in his lungs.

It's pretty unlikely
he'll survive
another infection.

You don't have
to come tomorrow.

This stuff
freaks people out.

No. No. Um...

I want to come back.
I'm just...

I'm sorry.

Me, too.

(DOOR OPENS)

Mom?

I heard you come in.

I wanted to say
good night.

Yeah, like
I'm buying that.

(LAUGHS) Come here.
I'll tuck you in.

Say, "Good night, Joan."
Good night, Joan.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the Arcadia
police department
has determined

there may have been
serious police misconduct

in the case
of Raymond Hartzel.

I don't like saying that.
I'm a police officer.

I was on the line
for many years.

I wanted my guys
to be cleared

of any wrongdoing.

As police officers,
we always have the option

for physical force,

but it should be
considered a last resort.

First, we should exhaust
our other options.

We should listen
and pay attention to detail.

In this case, we failed.

We will be bringing charges

against officers Koczara
and Eicher.

On behalf of
the entire department,

I would like to apologize

to Mr. Hartzel
and his family,

and to the public

we are obligated to serve.

WILL: Thank you.

Okay, we'll see
if it happens.

He just said they're
indicting the guys.

Yeah, so a white jury
can exonerate them.

That's not up
to the Chief of Police.

Since when do you
defend the cops?

I'm just saying that maybe

he's trying to do
things differently.

I mean, that's why
they brought him here.
Maybe he's...

Maybe you're just
hot for his son.

Now that's a man,

picking on the guy
in the wheelchair.

I didn't tell him
about your father.

He's a reporter, Kevin.
He finds things out.

Okay.

Well, what about
that last part?

(CHUCKLES)

That was just him
editorializing.

I had to ask,
because, you know,

I'm the fact checker.

JOAN: Well... (CHUCKLES)

When you said
a fun place,

I was thinking more
like laser tag.

ROCKY: Oh. Well,
I come here all the time.

It's informational.

Like that,
for example.

"Lucy Ellen Thompson.

"April 6, 1929,
through April 4, 1930."

Not quite a year old.

Also, notice
how often people die

around their birthdays.

Rocky...

(SIGHS)
I understand now.

Understand what?

Well, your condition,
what's happening to you.

It's happening to you, too.

It's just happening
to me sooner.

You're leaving now, right?

Rocky, I'll still
come visit you.

I just...

I don't like hanging out
in graveyards.

Well, why?

Death kinda scares me.

Death doesn't hurt.

You just go away.

It doesn't matter
that you don't get to see

your mom and stuff anymore,

because you don't know that.

Would it make you
feel better to know

that there's
somebody out there

watching for us
and caring for us,

and that that person
or thing or whatever,

will still be
caring about us
after we leave?

I don't believe in God.

What if I promised?

I mean,
crossed-my-heart
promised.

I've seen Him.

You've had
a near-death experience?
No.

I... I just...

I've seen Him.

Uh, sometimes.
It's not always a Him.

(SIGHS)

It's complicated.

But the point is,
God is there,

and if he's there,
then there's a plan,

and if there's
a plan, then...

Everything is gonna
be okay, I think.

Yeah. That'd be cool.

Come on. Let's go.

There it is again.

"Elizabeth Rove.

"Beloved wife of Carl.
Mother of Adam.

"November 8, 1952,
to November 11, 2000."

ROCKY: Do you think
people hang around

for their birthdays
on purpose?

(CRACKLING)

Jane.

Hi.

Did I know
you were coming by?

No, it's a surprise.

Okay.

I haven't been a very
good friend to you.

(SCOFFS) Okay.

No, it's, uh...
It's not okay.

I mean, you were cranky
for a reason.

People should
pay attention
to things like that.

I should have asked you
if you wanted to talk
or something.

I don't need to talk,
but thanks.

I know why
you hate November.

Who told you?

I was at the graveyard.

It's a long story.

I always, um...

Made her something
for her birthday.

She liked it.

She said, uh...

"Don't buy me something.
That doesn't tell me
anything."

She said,

"This is like having
a piece of you
to take with me."

She said stuff like that.

You miss her.

Doing this helps.

You know, it's like
she's watching me,

and I know that
sounds stupid, but...

You talk to angels.

I'm glad you came by.

Me, too.

(SNIFFLES)

Hey.

Welcome to
the longest week
in my life.

Didn't fly by for me, either.

(EXHALES)

I was proud
of you today.

What you reading?

Why?

Because, for me,

sometimes it's
like Kevin died,

and I need
to deal with that.

Helen...
I know.

I'm the one who's
always preaching

gratitude and moving on,

and I was clinging
to that so hard,

and then it...
It stopped
working for me.

I felt alone,

and I, um...

I talked to a priest.

I didn't want
to bother you.

That was the deal
we made a long time ago.

You get to bother me.

You don't have
to do anything alone.

I'm sorry I lied to you
about the priest.

That's who I met
on my lunch break.

You come to me,
not some stranger.

Promise me.

(WHISPERING)
Our beautiful boy, Will.

(SOBS) Our perfect,
beautiful boy.

(CRYING)

Remember me?

Why all the familiar looks?
Doing the greatest hits?

Starting to get
a little pleased
with yourself?

You see me
the way you want
to see me, Joan.

Like right now,
you're mad at me.

Maybe you feel safer
to be mad at me

when I look like this.

You have a lot
to answer for, buddy.

Nobody asked to be born.

So we all get to die,

and then everybody
we love dies.

Yeah.

And that's...
That's good for you?

Joan, there's nothing
I could say about that

that would
make sense to you.

A lot of what happens
here really sucks.

So much for
your perfect system.

Can you see me
being really mad
at you right now?

Yes.

Why does it
have to be so hard?

What, specifically?

Being alive.
Let's start there.

You wish
you weren't alive?

No, I...

I don't know.

I wish it didn't
hurt so much.

It hurts because
you feel it, Joan,

because you're alive.

You love people.
That generates

a lot of power,
a lot of energy,

Same kind of energy
that binds atoms together.

And we've all
seen what happens

when you try
to pry them apart.

So, if I don't
get attached to people,

then it won't hurt so much?

No, it's in your nature
to get attached to people.

I put that in the recipe.

It's when you guys
try to ignore that,

when you try to go it alone,
that's when it gets ugly.

It's hell.

It's hell? Like the hell?

Oh, look. Your house.

Go on, Joan.

People are waiting for you.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ Some have flown away

♪ And can't be with us
here today

♪ Like the hills of my home

♪ Some have crumbled

♪ And now are gone

♪ Gather around

♪ For today won't come again

♪ Won't come again

♪ I am blessed

♪ I am blessed

♪ I am blessed

♪ I am blessed

♪ I am blessed

♪ I am blessed

♪ I am blessed
To be a witness ♪