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What makes life the neatest?
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Bestest and comestest.
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It's a good you show, it's a good you
know, it's the right somebody to love.
4
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Candy makes you feel so dandy, but if
you ask me,
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she's the right somebody to love.
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Hi, my name's Buster.
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Buster Hyman. We've got the same English
class, and I was wondering if you'd
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like to get together, you know, go out.
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How about it? What do you say?
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Thank you, but no.
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Do you realize who you just turned down?
12
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Only the most popular guy in school.
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I don't get it.
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You turned down everyone.
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Why don't you ever go out with anyone?
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Promise you won't tell a soul?
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Promise.
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Okay. I'll tell you why.
19
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It's my daddy.
20
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He doesn't think I'm mature enough yet
for dating.
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You gotta be kidding.
22
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I wish I was half that mature.
23
00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:16,080
I don't know.
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Sometimes I wonder if all this running
from class to class is really getting me
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anywhere. What do you mean?
26
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Well... I came to college to try and do
something important in life. You know,
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some way to help my fellow man.
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There are so many people in need in this
world.
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Hey, baby.
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There goes your fellow man.
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I'll see you later, Candy.
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Bye, Evie.
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Bye.
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But if you ask me, Candy makes you feel
so dandy.
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00:02:00,550 --> 00:02:06,530
But if you ask me, Candy, she's more
than sugar and spice.
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Fantasy becomes so real.
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Ice cream, cake, and candy.
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She's someone you can't...
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00:02:26,090 --> 00:02:27,650
and this is my candy.
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Inside her meets a heart just as big as
that fabulous chest.
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00:02:32,830 --> 00:02:37,150
How desperately she wants to feel the
needs of man and be of service to his
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needs if only she knew what they were.
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Buenas tardes, Manuel.
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It's nice days, Manuel.
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Si, senorita.
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Come inside, Candy.
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Ay, Chihuahua.
48
00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:11,000
Don't you think that you're saying a
little bit too much of Manuel?
49
00:04:11,540 --> 00:04:15,120
Now, Mrs. Howard told me that you spent
all day Saturday talking with him.
50
00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:18,019
That sort of thing does not look good to
the neighbors.
51
00:04:18,339 --> 00:04:19,680
Now, you know what I mean, Candy.
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00:04:20,620 --> 00:04:21,620
Yes, Daddy.
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00:04:39,869 --> 00:04:43,190
Daddy, would you fix yourself something
for dinner?
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00:04:43,610 --> 00:04:47,850
What with the exams coming up and all,
I'd just like to go straight on to bed
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and get some sleep.
56
00:04:50,150 --> 00:04:51,430
Whatever you wish, dear.
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00:05:10,700 --> 00:05:13,480
That kind of thing doesn't look good to
the neighbors.
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00:05:13,860 --> 00:05:17,240
After all, we mustn't shop this hour.
59
00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:22,080
Oh, Daddy.
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00:05:23,420 --> 00:05:25,900
I mean, really, I am 20.
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That's me.
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The world's last 20 -year -old virgin.
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I don't care what you think.
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00:05:42,660 --> 00:05:43,760
I'm a woman.
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00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:07,860
So, Chiquita, you wish to be the woman
of Manuel Leyva.
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00:06:08,220 --> 00:06:09,580
I admire your ambition.
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00:06:10,110 --> 00:06:11,510
Shame, shame, shame, Candy.
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What will the neighbors think?
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00:06:13,910 --> 00:06:19,990
Manuel, don't leave me. I would just die
if you go.
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Let me be your woman.
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00:06:22,390 --> 00:06:23,990
You need me, darling.
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I can make you happy.
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00:06:27,870 --> 00:06:30,250
Please, oh, darling, please.
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Oh, Manuel.
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00:07:06,900 --> 00:07:08,300
Oh,
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00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:25,400
Manuel.
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Oh, man.
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00:07:40,580 --> 00:07:41,580
Oh.
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Oh, right there.
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Oh.
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00:08:08,740 --> 00:08:11,180
Oh, man.
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00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:13,560
Oh.
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Jamie. shame, shame. What will the
neighbors think?
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00:08:37,190 --> 00:08:37,989
Oh,
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Manuel.
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00:08:46,790 --> 00:08:49,190
I can make you happy, darling.
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A candy.
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So sweet.
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It feels so good.
90
00:10:33,490 --> 00:10:36,090
Oh, Manuel.
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00:10:39,510 --> 00:10:41,990
Oh, Manuel.
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00:10:44,510 --> 00:10:45,910
Oh,
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Manuel.
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My God.
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Oh, Manuel.
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00:13:46,569 --> 00:13:49,810
Well, I guess that settles that.
97
00:14:27,329 --> 00:14:29,110
Daddy? Daddy, are you up?
98
00:14:34,450 --> 00:14:35,450
Oh.
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00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:46,030
Well, Candy's about to find out if
dreams really do come true. I doubt if
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will really understand what she's
getting at. Besides, good morning,
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Manuel is good boy.
102
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Manuel's grasp of English is practically
non -existent.
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00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:01,340
Hello, Manuel.
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00:15:02,180 --> 00:15:04,180
How are you this morning?
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It's nice day, senorita, no?
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00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:07,980
Oh, yes.
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That certainly doesn't look like much
fun.
108
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:14,760
Why don't you come in for a cold drink?
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00:15:15,900 --> 00:15:18,720
Oh, don't worry. Daddy's gone out this
morning.
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You poor dear.
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00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:23,920
Well, don't worry about a thing.
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I'll fix something and bring it to the
greenhouse.
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The greenhouse, Manuel?
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I'll meet you in the greenhouse.
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Greenhouse? Yes.
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You poor dear. I have so much to teach
you.
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Oh, my, you're so dedicated, Manuel.
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Here you go.
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Gosh, you sure were thirsty.
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00:16:19,110 --> 00:16:21,330
Manuel, tell me about yourself.
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What are your plans for the future?
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Manuel, people must communicate.
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That's the trouble with this world.
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Nobody communicates.
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I can help you, Manuel. I know I can.
126
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Why not?
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Manuel, don't change the subject.
128
00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:46,840
I know. I'm embarrassing you. I'll stop.
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00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:51,640
But, Manuel, you do think people must
communicate, don't you?
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Si.
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00:16:58,980 --> 00:17:05,280
Oh, my darling Caballero.
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You really do need me so.
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Believe me, I understand.
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00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:14,400
It must be very hard for you as women.
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00:17:14,839 --> 00:17:17,880
Well, with your nationality being what
it is and all.
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Don't worry.
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I'm here to help you.
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00:17:25,900 --> 00:17:26,900
Sandy,
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are you out there?
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00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:31,980
Good grief, Daddy.
141
00:17:33,460 --> 00:17:35,280
Don't you worry, you poor dear.
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Candy will take care of you.
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Candy?
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That's my bedroom there, in the corner.
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Come tonight.
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For whatever you do, don't do anything
until the lights in Daddy's room
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are out.
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Okay?
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Until tonight, my Cavalero.
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00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:04,780
You can go back to work now.
151
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,420
But I'll be waiting when it's dark.
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Right there.
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I sure hope you got those windows right,
Manuel.
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00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:17,400
Andy! Are you out there?
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Manuel? Manuel?
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Manuel?
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I was not.
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00:18:35,940 --> 00:18:36,940
No, Manuel.
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00:18:38,180 --> 00:18:40,420
Manuel, slow down.
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Out. Manuel.
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Out.
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Manuel. No. Out.
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Manuel. Manuel.
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00:21:08,139 --> 00:21:11,940
I'll take care of this. God, shut her
up. Manuel, Daddy, no.
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Oh, God, no. Manuel.
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00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:17,480
Manuel. No, Daddy, stop. You child
molester.
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00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:21,240
Bucci, Mr. Christian. Manuel is a good
boy. Don't make trouble. Shut up.
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I'm going to kill you.
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00:21:23,220 --> 00:21:24,580
Oh, God, don't.
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00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:29,600
You've got the best in the cooler.
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Oh.
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Things have really gotten out of hand.
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Father had to be rushed to the hospital.
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I just hope Candy can find his room.
175
00:21:47,230 --> 00:21:53,090
I'm not saying she's dumb, mind you. In
fact, she's really very clever in her
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own selective manner.
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Which is to say, bless her sweet little
heart, that she deals with just one
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thing at a time. Which at least keeps
her confusion excluded.
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Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.
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Check off.
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Great.
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Are you here for masturbation? I beg
your pardon?
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00:22:43,910 --> 00:22:45,570
Masturbation? Onanism?
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00:22:46,780 --> 00:22:47,780
Whacking off?
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00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:49,460
Beating the old meat?
186
00:22:49,780 --> 00:22:51,480
Fiddling the clit, as the case may be?
187
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I'm surely not here for that.
188
00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,580
And what do you mean by that?
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Do you think there's something, quote,
wrong? Or, quote, dirty about it?
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Well, it does give you pimples, doesn't
it?
191
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:13,340
Or maybe I'm thinking of what? Yeah,
that's it for it.
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Young lady.
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You're not thinking at all.
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Haven't you read my book, Masturbation
Now?
195
00:23:22,300 --> 00:23:24,720
No. I'm afraid not.
196
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I thought as much.
197
00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:34,000
Well, if you had, you'd understand that
normal sexual relations are the basis
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for all mental disorders.
199
00:23:36,420 --> 00:23:42,220
I mean, the stresses and anxieties that
go along with, quote, normal sex
200
00:23:42,220 --> 00:23:44,420
are the...
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00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:47,880
that ignite the fires of insanity.
202
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:49,760
Hmm.
203
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Fires of insanity.
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00:23:52,740 --> 00:23:53,740
Not bad.
205
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:55,820
Dr. Johnson wanted in surgery.
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00:23:56,600 --> 00:24:02,360
There's only one way to solve this
epidemic of lunacy,
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00:24:02,460 --> 00:24:08,220
and that's for all of us to take things
into our own hands.
208
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:12,300
As it were, we must take a grip on
ourselves.
209
00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:13,760
Yeah.
210
00:24:14,399 --> 00:24:21,080
And then, and only then, will this lead
us to the path of total
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independence.
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00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:28,960
Now, come here. Let me help you. No!
Come. Don't be ashamed of it.
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00:24:32,820 --> 00:24:35,020
Very good, my dear. Very good. Keep at
it. Go.
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00:24:35,220 --> 00:24:36,220
Good. Good.
215
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:37,600
Good.
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00:24:38,140 --> 00:24:39,180
Excellent. Go.
217
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:42,000
My dear, you're doing very well. Thank
you.
218
00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:32,600
I was just looking for my daddy's room.
He's hurt. He's had a terrible accident.
219
00:25:33,380 --> 00:25:34,380
Was he in there?
220
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:37,660
No, but there was... Don't tell me. I
don't want to hear it. Just tell me his
221
00:25:37,660 --> 00:25:39,440
room number, and I'll help you find it.
222
00:25:40,340 --> 00:25:42,520
324. Dr. Bishop to surgery, please.
Okay. Dr.
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00:25:42,780 --> 00:25:43,780
Bishop to surgery.
224
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:50,620
Listen, let me tell you something. A lot
worse things could happen.
225
00:25:51,060 --> 00:25:54,200
Everybody gets over amnesia, just like
in the movies.
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00:25:55,690 --> 00:25:59,250
I wouldn't even mind losing my memory
around here for a few weeks.
227
00:25:59,990 --> 00:26:02,690
We'd look at the lovely nurses and...
Oh.
228
00:26:03,930 --> 00:26:04,930
That.
229
00:26:05,490 --> 00:26:07,610
That is class puss.
230
00:26:07,810 --> 00:26:10,130
And here you've got your own private
room.
231
00:26:13,890 --> 00:26:15,510
Right down to the inside.
232
00:26:15,810 --> 00:26:17,350
Candy's Auntie Craven.
233
00:26:17,710 --> 00:26:22,330
Married to Candy's Uncle Dick, who is
her father's identical twin brother.
234
00:26:24,490 --> 00:26:28,750
Auntie fit well in the family. She was
as unique as any of them in her own
235
00:26:28,750 --> 00:26:29,750
special way.
236
00:26:30,050 --> 00:26:34,630
Auntie was probably the most foul
-mouthed, habitually horny, and utterly
237
00:26:34,630 --> 00:26:36,750
uninhibited broad in the whole country.
238
00:26:38,850 --> 00:26:43,650
Candy had always been intimidated by her
aunt. The woman was both lovely and
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00:26:43,650 --> 00:26:46,750
sophisticated, and never exactly the
same.
240
00:26:47,310 --> 00:26:51,110
Sometimes she would treat Candy as if
she were a child of three who should be
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00:26:51,110 --> 00:26:52,110
ignored.
242
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:57,260
And sometimes she would become the woman
of the world for candy and speak
243
00:26:57,260 --> 00:27:02,320
lightly of adultery and homosexuality,
keeping the impressionable girl both
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00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:03,460
titillated and guilty.
245
00:27:06,660 --> 00:27:10,540
Her puritanical father would have sent
her to religious school if he'd ever
246
00:27:10,540 --> 00:27:11,940
heard one of those conversations.
247
00:27:14,580 --> 00:27:18,820
Now, the minute you get out of here, I'm
taking you directly to Dr. Putz.
248
00:27:19,260 --> 00:27:21,280
A man's absolute genius.
249
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:22,720
Why, Cosmo says...
250
00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:26,420
That he's not simply a plastic surgeon.
He's a sculptor.
251
00:27:27,380 --> 00:27:28,380
Seymour Putz.
252
00:27:28,700 --> 00:27:29,700
That's the man.
253
00:27:32,020 --> 00:27:35,640
Well, he'll have you looking like a
goddamn Burt Reynolds.
254
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:40,840
Oh, Dick, this is a lot of horseshit,
and you know it. I am not going to spend
255
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:43,880
another minute talking to this drooling
mongoloid.
256
00:27:52,490 --> 00:27:54,270
Oh, my poor, poor daddy.
257
00:27:54,670 --> 00:27:56,330
My poor, poor darling.
258
00:27:57,590 --> 00:27:59,830
Somebody tell me, what's wrong with
daddy?
259
00:28:00,490 --> 00:28:02,770
What's wrong with him, and how long will
it last?
260
00:28:03,230 --> 00:28:06,610
We have to be careful with him. We can't
move him.
261
00:28:07,230 --> 00:28:08,690
Why can't we move him?
262
00:28:09,050 --> 00:28:13,130
What did the doctor say, Uncle Dick?
What's wrong with poor daddy?
263
00:28:13,390 --> 00:28:17,090
What the hell do you think's wrong with
him? He's flipped his rails, you know,
264
00:28:17,210 --> 00:28:18,330
flipped his cookies.
265
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:24,400
Now, now, my dear, there is no need for
this sort of... Oh, cut the bullshit.
266
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:27,780
The kid's got to find out that her old
man is bonkers.
267
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:33,420
Oh, Candy, you're looking terribly well.
268
00:28:34,100 --> 00:28:38,280
But, my dear, you seem a bit flushed.
269
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:40,040
Oh, my God.
270
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:41,760
You're not pregnant.
271
00:28:42,340 --> 00:28:44,740
Well, I don't know why I should act
surprised.
272
00:28:45,020 --> 00:28:48,060
Oh, Auntie, you know I'm not.
273
00:28:48,490 --> 00:28:49,510
What you said.
274
00:28:49,930 --> 00:28:53,570
How can you be so thoughtless in front
of poor Daddy?
275
00:28:53,930 --> 00:28:57,930
Oh, poor Daddy's been playing with his
toes for the last ten minutes. And
276
00:28:57,930 --> 00:29:04,070
incidentally, what gives you the right
to come on like such a pure virgin in
277
00:29:04,070 --> 00:29:09,410
front of your favorite old auntie? Oh,
Auntie, how can you say things like that
278
00:29:09,410 --> 00:29:10,730
at a time like this?
279
00:29:10,950 --> 00:29:13,290
Oh, come now, you can tell your old
auntie.
280
00:29:14,310 --> 00:29:17,010
Really, how many boys have been in
those?
281
00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:18,680
Cute little pants of yours.
282
00:29:19,420 --> 00:29:24,440
Now, honestly, dear, this is hardly the
appropriate time for this sort of
283
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:25,440
conversation.
284
00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:30,680
Marvelous. You can't tell the drunk from
the dummy. Well, thank you very much.
285
00:29:30,700 --> 00:29:34,860
I'm getting out of here because this
whole fucking story has gotten boring.
286
00:29:40,100 --> 00:29:42,700
She doesn't handle these things very
well, Ken.
287
00:29:43,940 --> 00:29:46,460
She is very sensitive in her own way.
288
00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:50,940
It must be terrible for you, Uncle Dick.
289
00:29:51,740 --> 00:29:54,460
She doesn't seem to understand your
needs.
290
00:29:54,820 --> 00:29:58,640
Well, I guess it's just the way things
work out.
291
00:29:59,260 --> 00:30:01,900
Right now, it's your poor father that we
have to take.
292
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:24,540
Oh, you poor dear.
293
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:32,620
Oh, you poor darling.
294
00:30:33,340 --> 00:30:35,540
You really do need me so.
295
00:30:39,780 --> 00:30:43,300
No, dearest. Uncle Dick, no. You mustn't
sleep here.
296
00:30:43,660 --> 00:30:47,780
Oh, wait. No, it's against the hospital
rules. Come on. I'll help you.
297
00:30:48,140 --> 00:30:51,140
Wait a moment. Your aunt never lets me
sleep.
298
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:53,860
She's so cold, too, Sam.
299
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:57,760
Oh, I'll keep you warm, Uncle Dick. I
need your warmth, Ken.
300
00:30:57,960 --> 00:31:03,980
Oh, Uncle Dick, I'll keep you warm.
Uncle Dick.
301
00:31:04,780 --> 00:31:08,000
Oh, you do need my warmth.
302
00:31:09,180 --> 00:31:12,480
Oh, Uncle Dick.
303
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:15,240
Oh,
304
00:31:17,980 --> 00:31:18,980
darling.
305
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:21,680
Oh.
306
00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:23,260
Uncle, dear.
307
00:31:23,660 --> 00:31:25,740
I need your warmth, Annie.
308
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:28,160
Give me your warmth.
309
00:31:28,860 --> 00:31:31,780
Give me your warmth, Annie.
310
00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:36,040
Oh, give me your warmth.
311
00:31:36,260 --> 00:31:38,000
Oh, uncle.
312
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:41,100
Give me your warmth.
313
00:31:42,020 --> 00:31:44,460
Give me all your warmth.
314
00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:49,220
Oh, dear.
315
00:31:52,750 --> 00:31:53,830
How do you know? Oh!
316
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:03,520
must have made him crazy.
317
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:17,080
It was at that precise moment that Candy
thought of going to visit her Aunt
318
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:21,700
Lucy. After all that confusion in the
hospital, anyone would need a vacation.
319
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:25,220
At any rate, it's a long way to
California.
320
00:34:39,340 --> 00:34:40,340
Hi, how you doing?
321
00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:42,820
Hi. You must be new in town, huh?
322
00:34:43,300 --> 00:34:44,620
What makes you say that?
323
00:34:44,860 --> 00:34:48,620
Well, because I go through this park at
least twice a day, and I've never seen
324
00:34:48,620 --> 00:34:49,558
you here before.
325
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:51,380
Well, maybe you just weren't looking.
326
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:52,600
Oh, yeah?
327
00:34:52,699 --> 00:34:56,420
Well, pardon me for saying so, but
you're not the type of person you really
328
00:34:56,420 --> 00:34:57,640
to look hard to see twice.
329
00:34:58,940 --> 00:35:02,040
Well, as a matter of fact, you're right.
330
00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:03,620
I am new in town.
331
00:35:03,900 --> 00:35:06,400
I just got in this morning. Where from?
332
00:35:07,140 --> 00:35:08,140
Michigan.
333
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:13,180
I was a student there, but I just sort
of had to get away.
334
00:35:13,540 --> 00:35:15,840
Oh, listen. I know where you're coming
from.
335
00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:20,100
I've been there just the same like you.
I just had to escape. My name is Sean,
336
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:22,220
and welcome to our city.
337
00:35:22,620 --> 00:35:23,620
What's your name?
338
00:35:24,900 --> 00:35:26,640
Candy. Candy Christian.
339
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:28,360
Well, listen, Candy.
340
00:35:28,580 --> 00:35:32,260
I'm on my lunch hour. How would you like
to go grab a bite to eat with me? Lunch
341
00:35:32,260 --> 00:35:33,158
hour for what?
342
00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:34,240
I'm on a used car sale.
343
00:35:36,100 --> 00:35:37,100
Well...
344
00:35:38,030 --> 00:35:39,590
I am awfully hungry.
345
00:35:40,630 --> 00:35:45,490
Is there a nice place to eat around
here? The best. The best. My place. I'm
346
00:35:45,490 --> 00:35:46,490
fantastic cook.
347
00:35:47,330 --> 00:35:48,550
Okay. Why not?
348
00:35:48,790 --> 00:35:49,790
All right.
349
00:35:52,790 --> 00:35:53,790
Come on in, Candy.
350
00:35:58,770 --> 00:36:00,590
Why don't you have a seat?
351
00:36:00,990 --> 00:36:01,990
Okay.
352
00:36:04,910 --> 00:36:07,170
You sure do have a nice place.
353
00:36:08,180 --> 00:36:12,260
Sean? Thank you. Listen, I'm going to go
into the kitchen, put something in the
354
00:36:12,260 --> 00:36:13,460
oven for our lunch, okay?
355
00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:15,080
Okay.
356
00:36:15,780 --> 00:36:16,780
Hey,
357
00:36:17,420 --> 00:36:19,580
listen, are TV dinners okay?
358
00:36:20,380 --> 00:36:21,380
Sure.
359
00:36:22,180 --> 00:36:23,180
All right.
360
00:36:23,500 --> 00:36:25,980
I'm going to ask Peter, and I'm going to
go nuts.
361
00:36:34,180 --> 00:36:35,180
How are you doing?
362
00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:37,360
Okay.
363
00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:40,060
Want to see a picture of my mother?
364
00:36:40,500 --> 00:36:41,500
Sure.
365
00:36:43,740 --> 00:36:44,780
I love you.
366
00:36:45,820 --> 00:36:49,180
Sean, you shouldn't say things like
that.
367
00:36:49,780 --> 00:36:52,180
You can't possibly love me.
368
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:54,860
Oh, no.
369
00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:56,220
I've hurt you.
370
00:36:56,580 --> 00:36:58,840
Here, come and sit next to me.
371
00:37:03,140 --> 00:37:05,780
Sean, I'm so sorry.
372
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:07,860
I didn't mean to hurt you.
373
00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:10,100
Oh, you women are all alike.
374
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:16,340
As soon as you find out I have a
problem, a deformity, you think you can
375
00:37:16,340 --> 00:37:17,339
all over me.
376
00:37:17,340 --> 00:37:23,700
Sean, I certainly... Hey, listen. It's
always the same. No one will ever love
377
00:37:23,700 --> 00:37:24,700
me. Ever.
378
00:37:25,140 --> 00:37:30,400
Not real love. I'll probably wind up
alone somewhere in an apartment.
379
00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:33,700
All alone except for 30 or 40 cats.
380
00:37:34,020 --> 00:37:35,300
Old and miserable.
381
00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:42,580
Hey, listen, I've been everywhere. I've
been all over the United States.
382
00:37:42,940 --> 00:37:45,340
All the specialists, they all say the
same thing.
383
00:37:45,620 --> 00:37:46,960
No one can help me.
384
00:37:47,500 --> 00:37:48,500
Help you what?
385
00:37:49,340 --> 00:37:51,980
I don't see any deformity or anything.
386
00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:57,200
No. Sean, what is it? Listen, don't even
ask. Don't ask. It's horrible.
387
00:37:57,400 --> 00:37:58,400
Just horrible.
388
00:37:58,980 --> 00:38:01,100
Oh, I should never have been born.
389
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:03,620
Don't say such a thing.
390
00:38:04,900 --> 00:38:08,680
Whatever is it? No, no, no. If I show
you, you'll just...
391
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:11,560
He'll laugh and run away like the rest
of them.
392
00:38:12,580 --> 00:38:13,580
I won't.
393
00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:15,760
I promise I won't.
394
00:38:16,900 --> 00:38:18,940
I'm not like the other girls, Sean.
395
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:21,840
I can help you.
396
00:38:22,740 --> 00:38:29,640
I don't know why I'm doing this, but...
But okay,
397
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:30,760
Candy.
398
00:38:30,820 --> 00:38:31,820
Just for you.
399
00:38:32,980 --> 00:38:33,980
See?
400
00:38:37,420 --> 00:38:39,680
I told you there was nothing wrong with
you.
401
00:38:40,340 --> 00:38:41,540
It's all in your head.
402
00:38:42,180 --> 00:38:47,020
Here, I'll help you put your pants back
on. See? See, I told you. I told you.
403
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:51,000
You think it's so ugly you can't even
stand to look at it. No.
404
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:53,000
That's not what I meant at all.
405
00:38:55,180 --> 00:39:01,700
You should be proud to have such a
gigantic... Well, such a nice, nice
406
00:39:02,660 --> 00:39:05,360
You should be glad you're different.
407
00:39:06,540 --> 00:39:09,680
Well... Perhaps different was the wrong
word.
408
00:39:09,940 --> 00:39:11,420
I meant special.
409
00:39:12,380 --> 00:39:14,160
That's it. You're special.
410
00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:18,120
Do you really mean it? It doesn't bother
you?
411
00:39:18,860 --> 00:39:20,820
No, not even a little bit.
412
00:39:21,720 --> 00:39:23,460
You can touch it if you want to.
413
00:39:27,700 --> 00:39:29,280
You really like it?
414
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:32,340
You can kiss it.
415
00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:35,400
You really want to?
416
00:39:38,060 --> 00:39:39,800
And you can even put it in your mouth.
417
00:40:23,150 --> 00:40:24,150
Oh, yeah, that's it.
418
00:40:33,250 --> 00:40:34,250
Oh,
419
00:40:45,190 --> 00:40:46,290
yeah, that's the way.
420
00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:56,440
Oh, yeah. Ooh, just like that.
421
00:40:57,280 --> 00:41:01,220
Oh, that's it. Yeah, move like that.
422
00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:04,940
Oh, yeah. Oh, I love it.
423
00:41:06,500 --> 00:41:07,500
Candy.
424
00:41:09,740 --> 00:41:13,440
Uh, let me put it between your legs,
okay?
425
00:41:14,540 --> 00:41:17,380
Ooh. Oh, but you can't.
426
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:21,420
I really must go now. I have another bus
to catch.
427
00:41:22,740 --> 00:41:26,900
See? You're just like the rest of them,
after all. You had me fooled for a
428
00:41:26,900 --> 00:41:30,560
while. I'll admit it. But the truth
always comes out sooner or later.
429
00:41:30,900 --> 00:41:34,620
If you leave me now, I just know I'll do
something drastic.
430
00:41:54,730 --> 00:41:57,550
Please, Sean, please. You've got to
stop.
431
00:41:58,390 --> 00:41:59,390
Stop?
432
00:41:59,610 --> 00:42:00,610
Stop what?
433
00:42:00,890 --> 00:42:01,890
Stop this?
434
00:42:02,470 --> 00:42:04,490
Cease, quit, terminate, desist?
435
00:42:04,790 --> 00:42:05,950
That kind of stop?
436
00:42:06,910 --> 00:42:08,510
It's because of this, isn't it?
437
00:42:08,730 --> 00:42:11,010
No, I've already told you that.
438
00:42:11,670 --> 00:42:14,130
Anyway, what difference does it make?
439
00:42:14,490 --> 00:42:17,510
I have blue eyes, and you have that.
440
00:42:18,150 --> 00:42:19,150
Big deal.
441
00:42:19,290 --> 00:42:23,050
Yeah, but I love you, though. I love
you, and I'm so close.
442
00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:25,360
Whoa.
443
00:47:16,270 --> 00:47:17,270
Oh.
444
00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:36,380
I'm going to miss my bus if I don't
scoot.
445
00:48:39,220 --> 00:48:43,180
Candy's Auntie Anne had always had a
relaxed, calming effect on her.
446
00:48:43,460 --> 00:48:47,320
So it was very natural for Candy to
visit her when she had a problem.
447
00:48:50,900 --> 00:48:54,680
I just can't believe it, Candy. Hasn't
your father told you anything?
448
00:48:55,140 --> 00:48:58,920
Oh, don't bother to answer that. He
wouldn't know what to say or how to say
449
00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:01,380
Anyway, we'll set things right.
450
00:49:03,770 --> 00:49:06,150
There's nothing to set right, Em.
451
00:49:06,930 --> 00:49:07,930
Honestly.
452
00:49:08,250 --> 00:49:09,870
I did what I felt was right.
453
00:49:10,190 --> 00:49:11,930
I only gave my kindness.
454
00:49:13,950 --> 00:49:16,750
Hogwash. All you gave him was a little
free fun.
455
00:49:17,190 --> 00:49:20,710
Well, now, there's nothing wrong with
that, you know. I mean, girl's got the
456
00:49:20,710 --> 00:49:22,390
kind of equipment you have for playing
around.
457
00:49:22,590 --> 00:49:25,310
But, honey, if you're going to play
around, for God's sake, play it safe.
458
00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:30,280
Hell, maybe you're not pregnant at all.
Maybe it's just a nervous trauma or
459
00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:34,280
something. People get those, you know,
but with your father so ill and all. But
460
00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:36,120
Dr. Andrew will take care of you for
sure.
461
00:49:36,660 --> 00:49:37,660
Dr. who?
462
00:49:37,720 --> 00:49:39,400
No, no, no, no. Dr.
463
00:49:39,740 --> 00:49:41,720
Andrew. I never heard of who.
464
00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:43,940
Anyway, trust me a little.
465
00:49:45,260 --> 00:49:49,100
You'll just love him. All my friends at
the bridge club go to him.
466
00:50:13,830 --> 00:50:14,830
Yes, doctor.
467
00:50:19,250 --> 00:50:22,030
Miss Christian, the doctor will see you
now.
468
00:50:22,370 --> 00:50:23,370
Okay.
469
00:50:28,550 --> 00:50:32,030
Now just robe and put this on. The
doctor will be with you shortly.
470
00:50:32,430 --> 00:50:33,430
Okay.
471
00:51:06,029 --> 00:51:07,830
No, you've got it on backwards.
472
00:51:08,250 --> 00:51:09,750
The hole goes in the back.
473
00:51:10,430 --> 00:51:11,430
Oh, okay.
474
00:51:28,250 --> 00:51:30,870
Is this the first time you've seen a
gyno, honey?
475
00:51:31,790 --> 00:51:35,950
Well, to tell you the truth, I... Spare
me. Spare me. Just get your bottom up
476
00:51:35,950 --> 00:51:36,950
here.
477
00:51:37,090 --> 00:51:38,090
Okay.
478
00:51:46,090 --> 00:51:47,650
Now, what are we here for today?
479
00:51:50,430 --> 00:51:56,010
Well, I don't know what we're here for,
but I'm here because I think I may be
480
00:51:56,010 --> 00:51:57,490
pregnant. Oh, really?
481
00:51:57,970 --> 00:51:59,350
Well, what makes you think that?
482
00:51:59,960 --> 00:52:01,380
My period is late.
483
00:52:01,920 --> 00:52:04,200
Exactly how late is it? One day.
484
00:52:04,500 --> 00:52:05,500
One day?
485
00:52:05,740 --> 00:52:07,660
Good Lord, one day isn't anything.
486
00:52:08,060 --> 00:52:09,400
But you don't understand.
487
00:52:10,260 --> 00:52:11,520
I'm never late.
488
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:16,960
A late period doesn't make you pregnant,
my dear. Men do that.
489
00:52:18,940 --> 00:52:22,080
So, uh, you've been fooling around, huh?
490
00:52:24,860 --> 00:52:28,800
Now, these are going to feel a little
cold.
491
00:52:30,640 --> 00:52:31,640
But you just relax.
492
00:52:33,820 --> 00:52:36,460
Because I'm going to check out
everything.
493
00:52:37,980 --> 00:52:38,980
Close your eyes.
494
00:52:40,160 --> 00:52:42,080
Tell me about those men you've been
with.
495
00:52:43,300 --> 00:52:47,020
Oh, well, actually, I haven't really
seen many men.
496
00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:49,560
I've only just got started.
497
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:52,980
Oh, well, that's all right. Just tell me
about the first. It's easier that way.
498
00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:57,680
Oh, let's see. Maybe we should check out
these literal...
499
00:53:00,260 --> 00:53:01,260
Reflexes.
500
00:53:07,180 --> 00:53:09,240
Can you feel that?
501
00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:10,440
Good grief.
502
00:53:10,600 --> 00:53:11,600
Yes.
503
00:53:14,200 --> 00:53:15,920
Close your eyes. Shut your eyes.
504
00:53:16,500 --> 00:53:17,500
Keep them shut.
505
00:53:17,880 --> 00:53:19,480
And tell me about those men.
506
00:53:22,880 --> 00:53:26,480
Well, the first one was with Mama.
507
00:53:32,509 --> 00:53:34,270
Manuel. What?
508
00:53:34,750 --> 00:53:35,750
Manuel.
509
00:53:36,390 --> 00:53:40,710
He was our gardener.
510
00:53:41,610 --> 00:53:45,750
And then there was my Uncle Dick.
511
00:53:46,850 --> 00:53:48,170
Your uncle, huh?
512
00:53:48,390 --> 00:53:50,090
Well, almost, anyway.
513
00:53:51,410 --> 00:53:52,630
I see.
514
00:53:52,910 --> 00:53:54,010
Is that all?
515
00:53:55,370 --> 00:53:57,320
No. One more.
516
00:53:57,700 --> 00:53:59,400
This guy I met in a park.
517
00:57:16,940 --> 00:57:18,240
Nurse! Nurse Franklin!
518
00:57:20,380 --> 00:57:22,700
You're just fine, my dear. Just fine.
519
00:57:23,940 --> 00:57:27,960
Now, if you don't start your period in a
few days, you'll just come right back
520
00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:28,960
here.
521
00:57:36,480 --> 00:57:40,740
Now, make sure that Candy gets all our
free samples.
522
00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:42,480
Terrible discharge.
523
00:57:46,960 --> 00:57:49,780
You mean you've never really been
examined before?
524
00:57:50,080 --> 00:57:51,340
Good grief, yes.
525
00:57:51,580 --> 00:57:54,000
But never by a doctor.
526
00:57:55,900 --> 00:57:57,340
Oh, I almost forgot.
527
00:57:57,880 --> 00:57:59,700
There's a letter for you. Oh.
528
00:58:00,020 --> 00:58:01,740
Smells like your Aunt Craven.
529
00:58:02,100 --> 00:58:03,100
Bye -bye.
530
00:58:03,340 --> 00:58:04,520
Bye -bye, Auntie.
531
00:58:04,900 --> 00:58:05,900
Bye -bye.
532
00:58:07,540 --> 00:58:08,540
Well.
533
00:58:12,970 --> 00:58:16,610
How the hell have you been, sweetcakes?
And how's your cute little bush baby?
534
00:58:17,030 --> 00:58:21,490
I tell you, there's nothing like travel
to keep your quiv quivering.
535
00:58:22,330 --> 00:58:23,330
Reminds me of Italy.
536
00:58:23,510 --> 00:58:28,270
I got so much of that Dago cock that I
thought I'd stop ministrating and start
537
00:58:28,270 --> 00:58:33,670
administroning. Now, pull your hand out
of your hot little pants and get serious
538
00:58:33,670 --> 00:58:34,670
for a second.
539
00:58:34,870 --> 00:58:35,870
Don't panic.
540
00:58:35,910 --> 00:58:39,610
But your dear stupid daddy has flown the
coop. That's right.
541
00:58:39,830 --> 00:58:41,610
Split, gone, kaput.
542
00:58:41,920 --> 00:58:45,400
There must have been some kind of
bananas mix -up at the hospital. It
543
00:58:45,400 --> 00:58:48,560
it was Uncle Dick under those bandages
for days now.
544
00:58:48,780 --> 00:58:53,620
The other day, he and old Charlie were
pretending to do a strip. I got one look
545
00:58:53,620 --> 00:58:56,780
at the old plunger of his, and I knew it
was Dick.
546
00:58:57,260 --> 00:59:01,140
I don't know how long he'll be wacko
this time, but I've been getting some
547
00:59:01,140 --> 00:59:03,780
marvelous therapy from a Dr.
548
00:59:04,100 --> 00:59:06,280
Kulonic. He's really something.
549
00:59:06,780 --> 00:59:08,920
Can not just a shrink.
550
00:59:09,260 --> 00:59:10,860
He's an inventor, too.
551
00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:14,700
He figures to make millions on a double
therapy couch.
552
01:00:02,060 --> 01:00:03,060
Ugh.
553
01:00:33,640 --> 01:00:34,640
Boo!
554
01:01:24,859 --> 01:01:26,000
Thank you.
555
01:01:53,800 --> 01:01:54,800
Hmm.
556
01:02:34,710 --> 01:02:36,110
Oh.
557
01:04:02,160 --> 01:04:03,360
Let me tell you something, sugarpuss.
558
01:04:03,600 --> 01:04:09,060
If a woman don't function, she ain't
shit. Think it over, kiddo. And don't
559
01:04:09,060 --> 01:04:12,100
any wooden dildos, your loving Auntie
Crave.
560
01:04:28,640 --> 01:04:30,580
What makes life...
561
01:04:32,780 --> 01:04:33,880
Rest is incomplete.
562
01:04:34,980 --> 01:04:41,120
It's a good you show. It's a good you
know. It's the right somebody to love.
563
01:04:42,640 --> 01:04:46,760
Candy makes you feel so dandy.
564
01:04:47,060 --> 01:04:53,040
But if you add me, she's the right
somebody to love.
565
01:05:21,470 --> 01:05:24,910
Have you experienced your love quotient
yet today?
566
01:05:25,390 --> 01:05:27,850
Gosh, I'm not really sure.
567
01:05:28,810 --> 01:05:32,450
Love can be as simple as a small
donation.
568
01:05:32,890 --> 01:05:37,310
It will feed our people as well as
saving your immortal soul.
569
01:05:37,830 --> 01:05:40,710
Oh, now I am embarrassed.
570
01:05:41,370 --> 01:05:47,110
I don't have very much money and
certainly not enough to save my immortal
571
01:05:47,790 --> 01:05:50,210
Oh, money is only the most...
572
01:05:50,430 --> 01:05:52,350
menial way of helping.
573
01:05:52,950 --> 01:05:56,250
Actually, we are here to help you, yes.
574
01:05:56,830 --> 01:06:00,250
But how can you help me if you don't
even know what's wrong?
575
01:06:01,330 --> 01:06:03,830
My name is Graham Hollander.
576
01:06:04,410 --> 01:06:07,330
I'm the leader of the sect of the Baldy
Krishka.
577
01:06:07,830 --> 01:06:13,550
It is our belief that love will cure the
ruptured groin of mankind.
578
01:06:14,190 --> 01:06:21,080
And it is for us to instill in you The
inner strength so that you may fight the
579
01:06:21,080 --> 01:06:23,180
flames of desire that plague your body.
580
01:06:23,760 --> 01:06:24,760
My.
581
01:06:26,120 --> 01:06:27,340
My name is Candy.
582
01:06:27,940 --> 01:06:31,720
How did you know about the, you know,
flames and all that?
583
01:06:32,460 --> 01:06:35,040
It was my destiny to know.
584
01:06:35,480 --> 01:06:36,480
And to help.
585
01:06:37,100 --> 01:06:40,100
It was no accident that you have come
here to me today, Candy.
586
01:06:40,560 --> 01:06:45,820
No, no, no. This is the rightful path
for you to follow in your spiritual
587
01:06:45,820 --> 01:06:46,820
advancement.
588
01:06:47,200 --> 01:06:48,640
I certainly hope so.
589
01:06:48,920 --> 01:06:51,740
I've been on a pretty rocky path so far.
590
01:06:52,800 --> 01:06:57,040
And where has this... Where has this
path of yours taken you?
591
01:06:57,280 --> 01:07:00,400
Well, I first took the bus for a
mission. Oh, no.
592
01:07:00,840 --> 01:07:07,800
No, no, no, no, no. My... My child. What
I mean is... To what stage
593
01:07:07,800 --> 01:07:10,820
of spiritual advancement have you
reached?
594
01:07:11,200 --> 01:07:12,200
Oh.
595
01:07:12,640 --> 01:07:13,640
I don't know.
596
01:07:14,460 --> 01:07:15,460
I mean...
597
01:07:16,460 --> 01:07:18,700
I never really thought about it that way
before.
598
01:07:19,740 --> 01:07:24,120
Then we must begin this very day.
599
01:07:24,580 --> 01:07:31,560
There are many stages on the road to
spiritual knowledge, and each stage
600
01:07:31,560 --> 01:07:33,140
is more difficult than the next.
601
01:07:34,600 --> 01:07:38,720
Many, many, many choose this path, but
very few remain.
602
01:07:39,620 --> 01:07:42,240
There is only one true way to knowledge.
603
01:07:42,460 --> 01:07:43,460
Do you remember this?
604
01:07:43,700 --> 01:07:46,440
Golly! How many stages are there?
605
01:07:48,800 --> 01:07:51,440
Candy, you will live with us in our
house.
606
01:07:51,700 --> 01:07:54,460
You will grow and be spiritually lifted.
607
01:07:55,220 --> 01:08:01,340
You will be able to look at the world
like... like a man on a mountain looks
608
01:08:01,340 --> 01:08:03,320
the peaks and the valleys below him.
609
01:08:04,260 --> 01:08:07,720
It is inexpressible reality, Candy.
610
01:08:08,600 --> 01:08:09,900
I don't get it.
611
01:08:10,600 --> 01:08:11,880
A person...
612
01:08:12,460 --> 01:08:18,300
A person must unshackle the constraints
of self, become free of the burden
613
01:08:18,300 --> 01:08:22,460
inherent within personality, and then,
and only then, will he be truly free.
614
01:08:23,020 --> 01:08:24,439
Don't look so puzzled.
615
01:08:24,760 --> 01:08:27,819
It's a very, very difficult task, but I
know you can do it.
616
01:08:29,260 --> 01:08:31,560
I still don't quite get it.
617
01:08:32,140 --> 01:08:34,640
Well, come with me, Candy, and you'll
get it soon enough.
618
01:08:35,920 --> 01:08:40,920
Trust me, and you'll be able to relieve
yourself of all these past experiences.
619
01:08:44,639 --> 01:08:47,840
Well, I've had some pretty unusual
experiences.
620
01:08:49,979 --> 01:08:51,580
Maybe you can help me.
621
01:08:52,779 --> 01:08:56,040
We shall travel the path of wisdom
together.
622
01:08:56,880 --> 01:09:01,460
We shall grow and be spiritually
uplifted.
623
01:09:02,920 --> 01:09:03,920
Come with me.
624
01:09:20,880 --> 01:09:27,840
I'm sorry. I was just thinking how all
this might appear to one who is
625
01:09:27,840 --> 01:09:28,840
not aware.
626
01:09:30,060 --> 01:09:31,200
Aware of what?
627
01:09:32,439 --> 01:09:39,040
Aware that all of these people here are
doing control of the
628
01:09:39,040 --> 01:09:45,500
senses. What you see before you are
exercises designed to set the spirit
629
01:09:45,500 --> 01:09:48,680
free from the bounds of the body. Yes,
you understand?
630
01:09:50,350 --> 01:09:56,050
Well, I don't really know. Let me
explain, Connie. Perhaps it will help in
631
01:09:56,050 --> 01:09:57,050
first lesson.
632
01:09:57,650 --> 01:10:04,610
For instance, that couple, excuse me,
that couple over there, they are doing
633
01:10:04,610 --> 01:10:07,890
exercise known as the rigid nipple.
634
01:10:08,570 --> 01:10:10,510
Yeah, don't talk to the rigid nipple,
huh?
635
01:10:15,530 --> 01:10:17,190
Connie! Yeah, that's right.
636
01:10:22,440 --> 01:10:28,560
Ah, and those people there, they are
doing the Yoni Mitchell, the Yoni
637
01:10:28,560 --> 01:10:35,000
position. You notice the circular motion
of both figures in perfect harmony.
638
01:10:36,120 --> 01:10:42,520
Oh, it is just, it is beautiful. It is
true cosmic rhythm.
639
01:10:43,020 --> 01:10:46,800
Gosh. They are well on the path, those
people there, yes.
640
01:10:47,460 --> 01:10:48,720
Path to where?
641
01:10:49,040 --> 01:10:50,320
The path, Candy.
642
01:10:51,000 --> 01:10:53,300
To infinite oneness.
643
01:10:53,920 --> 01:10:58,400
Mano. Oh, no, no, no. There we go. A
very good one.
644
01:10:58,900 --> 01:11:03,520
That one there is known as the bacon,
lotus, and tomato.
645
01:11:04,320 --> 01:11:07,700
Bacon, lotus, and tomato. You hold the
mayo, huh? That's a joke.
646
01:11:08,960 --> 01:11:10,580
I don't get it.
647
01:11:20,620 --> 01:11:23,260
Let's see what we have here. We have
many, many people here.
648
01:11:23,580 --> 01:11:24,580
Ah!
649
01:11:26,580 --> 01:11:27,600
Those people there.
650
01:11:28,780 --> 01:11:33,100
That is known as the Yang Bang. That is
one of my very, very favorite ones.
651
01:11:54,760 --> 01:11:58,680
This is a new one. That is the Anita
Orange.
652
01:11:59,000 --> 01:12:00,200
Anita Orange?
653
01:12:01,860 --> 01:12:02,860
Oh,
654
01:12:03,380 --> 01:12:04,860
they're well on the path.
655
01:12:08,640 --> 01:12:09,640
See?
656
01:12:10,240 --> 01:12:11,500
Would you like to see something?
657
01:12:11,880 --> 01:12:13,400
I'd like very much to show you.
658
01:12:14,080 --> 01:12:20,660
All these people here can achieve true
cosmic consciousness at the very snap of
659
01:12:20,660 --> 01:12:21,660
a finger.
660
01:12:21,840 --> 01:12:22,779
They can?
661
01:12:22,780 --> 01:12:24,840
Yes, you believe me. I'll show you what.
662
01:12:28,260 --> 01:12:29,880
Oh, gosh!
663
01:12:31,300 --> 01:12:32,300
Aha!
664
01:12:43,760 --> 01:12:46,720
Truly, Candy, the path is very, very
difficult.
665
01:12:46,960 --> 01:12:49,880
Many choose, very few arrive.
666
01:12:51,020 --> 01:12:52,220
Have they arrived?
667
01:12:53,200 --> 01:12:55,520
Oh, no, my child, no.
668
01:12:56,640 --> 01:12:58,060
They have not arrived.
669
01:12:58,360 --> 01:12:59,860
They have come.
670
01:13:00,540 --> 01:13:02,260
See? Oh.
671
01:13:16,600 --> 01:13:20,260
Come this way, my little fig leaf. Come
with me.
672
01:13:23,500 --> 01:13:28,800
There is a very, very special place here
which I go to do my most intense
673
01:13:28,800 --> 01:13:30,420
meditation. There is?
674
01:13:31,020 --> 01:13:34,740
Yes, yes, there is. And I would like
very much if you would come with me.
675
01:13:34,960 --> 01:13:35,960
You do? Yes.
676
01:13:50,660 --> 01:13:51,660
Very nice.
677
01:13:52,540 --> 01:13:59,480
Now. The first thing we must do is to
shed our bodies of
678
01:13:59,480 --> 01:14:01,460
all worldly apparel.
679
01:14:01,960 --> 01:14:03,600
Are you sure?
680
01:14:04,040 --> 01:14:08,340
Candy? I am very, very sure, yes.
681
01:14:10,380 --> 01:14:11,880
Now, don't come.
682
01:14:22,600 --> 01:14:23,600
Now lay down.
683
01:14:24,020 --> 01:14:29,060
Lay down. Lay down flat.
684
01:14:30,180 --> 01:14:36,720
Now, spread your legs and you must lace
your fingers behind
685
01:14:36,720 --> 01:14:39,500
your head in true yoga fashion.
686
01:14:43,040 --> 01:14:47,860
Henry, you must trust me. I am the
guiding spirit of your soul.
687
01:14:48,280 --> 01:14:51,480
I have no desire for your body.
688
01:14:52,200 --> 01:14:57,140
It is your spirit that concerns me.
689
01:14:57,480 --> 01:14:58,680
I understand.
690
01:15:00,860 --> 01:15:02,040
Very good.
691
01:15:02,260 --> 01:15:03,260
Very nice.
692
01:15:06,280 --> 01:15:11,780
Now I will teach you the first lesson in
spiritual awareness.
693
01:15:13,200 --> 01:15:20,160
You will learn to soar above your bodily
senses and fly
694
01:15:20,160 --> 01:15:21,200
with your spirit.
695
01:15:21,800 --> 01:15:22,800
Trusting.
696
01:15:24,060 --> 01:15:29,340
Now, Candy, this is a mystic zone.
697
01:15:31,140 --> 01:15:32,280
Feels good, yes?
698
01:15:32,820 --> 01:15:35,920
Now, this is another mystic zone.
699
01:15:36,680 --> 01:15:41,640
And this is also a mystic zone.
700
01:15:41,980 --> 01:15:47,280
Ah, Candy, you're very, very wet mystic
zone down there.
701
01:15:48,580 --> 01:15:49,580
Love.
702
01:15:50,220 --> 01:15:51,660
Lovely child, yes.
703
01:15:53,120 --> 01:15:54,580
Relax and trust me.
704
01:15:58,600 --> 01:16:00,320
I think he should be still.
705
01:16:03,800 --> 01:16:07,160
Oh, my goodness.
706
01:16:09,900 --> 01:16:11,560
You're a very sweet child.
707
01:16:28,620 --> 01:16:29,620
Do you like that candy?
708
01:16:30,760 --> 01:16:31,679
Tell me.
709
01:16:31,680 --> 01:16:36,360
Well, I... Sure.
710
01:16:44,800 --> 01:16:46,740
Are you sure this is the way?
711
01:16:59,660 --> 01:17:00,660
Mistake zones.
712
01:17:01,560 --> 01:17:02,560
All over.
713
01:17:03,720 --> 01:17:08,420
Now, you are ready for another lesson.
714
01:17:10,700 --> 01:17:17,580
One must be fully aware of one's senses
in order
715
01:17:17,580 --> 01:17:19,580
to control them.
716
01:17:20,780 --> 01:17:27,540
Now, for example, you will notice that I
have erected my penis. It is stout and
717
01:17:27,540 --> 01:17:28,540
stiff.
718
01:17:28,580 --> 01:17:30,300
Oh, no, don't be deceived. No.
719
01:17:30,940 --> 01:17:32,860
It is just an illusion.
720
01:17:34,500 --> 01:17:41,040
Without any material desire whatsoever,
I have managed an election.
721
01:17:42,220 --> 01:17:43,340
Go ahead. Touch it.
722
01:17:43,820 --> 01:17:44,820
Squeeze it. Go ahead.
723
01:17:52,760 --> 01:17:54,480
That's fine. Now, touch it some more.
Yes.
724
01:17:56,460 --> 01:17:57,680
Gosh, that's amazing.
725
01:17:58,510 --> 01:18:00,430
Squeeze it. Squeeze it, Candy!
726
01:18:02,510 --> 01:18:05,090
You see?
727
01:18:07,270 --> 01:18:13,430
Now, you remember those people before?
We do an exercise in cosmic
728
01:18:13,430 --> 01:18:16,310
rhythm, like you saw those people do.
729
01:18:18,030 --> 01:18:19,030
Gosh!
730
01:21:09,959 --> 01:21:16,480
I will demonstrate yet one more mystical
power to you. Not only do I have
731
01:21:16,480 --> 01:21:23,170
complete... control over my bodily
senses, but over my glandular ones as
732
01:23:10,119 --> 01:23:11,240
Good grief!
733
01:23:12,280 --> 01:23:13,500
It's Danny!
734
01:23:14,820 --> 01:23:15,820
Good grief!
735
01:23:15,960 --> 01:23:20,340
Don't leave now. I've got some scenes
from my new film, Candy Goes to
736
01:23:20,620 --> 01:23:22,380
that I'm sure you won't want to miss.
737
01:23:25,340 --> 01:23:30,580
Well, our dear sweet Candy no sooner
arrives in Hollywood than she meets
738
01:23:30,580 --> 01:23:36,360
Dorff, actor's agent, star maker,
hypnotist, and whatever else need be.
739
01:23:36,840 --> 01:23:40,940
He knows talent when he sees it and
decides to give her some voice lessons
740
01:23:40,940 --> 01:23:45,740
her appearance on the Chuck Bearass Dong
Show. On the Dong Show, Candy meets
741
01:23:45,740 --> 01:23:49,300
Wendy Williams, who has a very unusual
talent.
742
01:23:50,020 --> 01:23:55,500
After being awarded first prize by the
celebrity panel consisting of Rex P., J
743
01:23:55,500 --> 01:24:00,440
.P. Organ, and Jamie Close, Chuck
Bearass gives Candy the rest of her
744
01:24:00,960 --> 01:24:03,960
Chuck tells his friend Johnny Farson
about Candy.
745
01:24:04,320 --> 01:24:07,700
And Farson immediately lines her up for
a spot on his show.
746
01:24:08,100 --> 01:24:12,580
Fascinated by Candy's natural assets,
Johnny rehearses some lines with her in
747
01:24:12,580 --> 01:24:13,580
his dressing room.
748
01:24:13,620 --> 01:24:15,760
There's no business like show business.
749
01:24:16,060 --> 01:24:20,500
Doing his job like a good agent should,
Johnny Door Opener gets Candy an
750
01:24:20,500 --> 01:24:22,520
audition with a big Hollywood producer.
751
01:24:22,960 --> 01:24:25,500
He naturally has to give her a screen
test.
752
01:24:26,560 --> 01:24:31,520
And the story wouldn't be complete
without the glitter of a Hollywood
753
01:24:32,030 --> 01:24:33,810
Here Candy meets all the stars.
754
01:24:34,410 --> 01:24:41,310
Rocky Stallion, Sarah Dawson, Chuck
Berat, Ed the Man, J .P. Organ, and
755
01:24:41,310 --> 01:24:42,990
all the rest of Johnny Starless.
756
01:24:43,210 --> 01:24:47,890
If you like erotic adventures of Candy,
you'll love Candy Goes to Hollywood.
757
01:24:48,190 --> 01:24:53,450
Carol Connors once again melts your
screen as Candy. I'm sure you won't want
758
01:24:53,450 --> 01:24:58,210
miss this action -packed, star -studded
episode in Candy's life as she continues
759
01:24:58,210 --> 01:24:59,970
her adventures in Hollywood.
760
01:25:09,840 --> 01:25:11,780
Someone you don't know.
761
01:25:12,880 --> 01:25:14,720
It's really crazy.
762
01:25:16,820 --> 01:25:21,180
Sandy makes you feel so sandy.
763
01:25:21,460 --> 01:25:25,600
But if you ask, she's all right.
53411
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