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You know the girl.
2
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Your first real vision of beauty.
3
00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:56,360
The one that all other girls
have to measure up to.
4
00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:59,760
Class, we have a new student today.
5
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Her name is Cristabel.
6
00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:04,360
Everyone say hi to Cristabel.
7
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Hi, Cristabel.
8
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The heavens opened.
9
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And that was it.
10
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The moment l first fell in love.
11
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You know the girl.
12
00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:23,320
The one you run to so you can
13
00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:27,080
breathlessly declare
your undying love.
14
00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:07,400
But things don't always work out
the way you think they will...
15
00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:09,680
...when you're six years old.
16
00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:22,600
She cries at commercials by AT&T.
17
00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:25,880
She sobs at the videos on MTV.
18
00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:29,720
But she says it's got nothing
to do with me...
19
00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:33,720
She's just an emotional girl.
20
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:37,520
She rips off my suits and
cuts off the sleeves.
21
00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:41,200
And shaves my head while
l'm fast asleep.
22
00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:43,960
Sometimes l feel
she's the princess
23
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:47,400
and l'm just the pea...
24
00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:51,920
And she's just an emotional girl.
25
00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,360
Just an emotional...
26
00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:55,720
You want the guitar?
27
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:08,800
ls...is everything okay...honey?
28
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,600
You just don't get it, do you.
29
00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:11,920
l don't know.
30
00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:16,080
Your songs, which suck,
by the way...
31
00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:18,400
Are always about things l did.
32
00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:20,840
They're not about you being
in love with me.
33
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:24,960
They're always about lalalalala
Jane shaved my head.
34
00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:26,880
But you did.
35
00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:27,960
And it's fine.
36
00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:29,640
We can laugh about it now,
sweetie.
37
00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:32,960
Why do you think
l spray painted your car?
38
00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:34,960
And l know this one.
39
00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:39,920
Because you were mad?
40
00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:42,280
l'm leaving....
41
00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:45,800
And l'm taking my drawer.
42
00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:49,160
Fuck this.
43
00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:51,280
For all l've put up with,
44
00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:54,040
l seem to deserve better
than this.
45
00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:01,240
Jane...okay, okay, um...
46
00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,440
-Listen, listen, listen...
-What?
47
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:08,480
Are you going to keep
the actual drawer?
48
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:11,080
-You're an asshole!
-No. Okay, okay, okay.
49
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:12,240
You can keep it.
50
00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,960
l just don't know what to do
with the rest of it
51
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:17,440
Come on.
52
00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:21,120
Okay...Jane, you see?
53
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:24,240
l came all the way
down the stairs.
54
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:30,200
Stop. Please, please,
please stop. Wait.
55
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,440
Let's talk.
56
00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:39,560
This is not talking.
57
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,480
You don't know what it's
like to be in love with someone
58
00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:53,560
for years and
have absolutely no idea
59
00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:55,800
if they're ever
going to love you back.
60
00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:07,880
You're a loser, Nate Cooper.
61
00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:11,400
And that's when it hit me.
62
00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:14,680
Yes, she may have overreacted...
63
00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:16,680
But Jane was right.
64
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:20,280
No other girl would ever
make me happy.
65
00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:26,800
Cristabel Abbott was the one.
66
00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:45,920
But how could l have known the
hurdles l would have to overcome.
67
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:53,280
l have a valentine for you
in my backpack.
68
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:56,440
We just haven't had a chance to
give ours out yet.
69
00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:04,680
l knew l had to find her.
70
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,520
And l knew just who to go to.
71
00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:13,800
My best friend from first grade.
72
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,600
Who shared in the glories
that were Cristabel
73
00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:19,040
and the art of nose picking.
74
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:21,360
Arno Blount.
75
00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:23,480
Are you tired of doing
hundreds of ab exercises...
76
00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:25,680
and not getting the flat
stomach you want?
77
00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:27,600
Well, it's time to stop, America...
78
00:06:27,840 --> 00:06:30,280
Because you've been
going the wrong way.
79
00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:31,160
That's right, America.
80
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:33,240
You've been going the wrong way.
81
00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,520
Now there's my Ab Away Pro System.
82
00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:37,800
Designed with reverse ab action.
83
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:38,840
The fastest, easiest way
to have firm, flat abs.
84
00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:40,520
lt's all the same.
85
00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:45,080
My Arno just loves holiday candies.
86
00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:47,680
So we stock them up year round.
87
00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:49,560
They make me feel happy.
88
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:53,200
Can l get you a Courvasier
89
00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:56,480
or cocoa?
90
00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:58,840
No thank you, Ms. Blount.
91
00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:00,520
l'm fine.
92
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:03,320
So you got a degree
in art history, huh?
93
00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:05,800
Uh...yeah.
94
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,480
That means unemployed, right?
95
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,400
-Pretty much, yeah.
-Cool.
96
00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,440
Means a lot more time to hang, huh?
97
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:15,680
-Okay.
-So, you want to know
98
00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:18,280
what happened to Cristabel Abbott.
99
00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:20,280
Well, yeah.
100
00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:22,720
Well, l'm curious to know
101
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:25,040
how everyone's doing
after all these years.
102
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,560
Everyone...Right.
103
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:30,240
Well, my friend, you came
to the right place.
104
00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:34,480
Wow, that's Cristabel?
105
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:35,720
-Yep.
-You know,
106
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:38,800
"cause usually 13's a bad age.
107
00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:43,160
From the first grade on,
she just got hotter every year.
108
00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:46,360
That's weird.
109
00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:50,080
Dear lord...Oh God.
110
00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:52,760
-ls that...uh...
-June Phigg.
111
00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:54,480
The nottie.
112
00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:56,960
Ooh...nottie?
113
00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:58,440
lt's a very well known
law of physics.
114
00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:00,840
The hotness of one girl is
directly proportional
115
00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,080
to the ugliness of
her best friend.
116
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:05,720
Wow. June Phigg.
117
00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:10,000
lt's sort of sweet they've
stayed friends all these years.
118
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:11,280
Sweet?
119
00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:15,400
She's like some hideous dragon
guarding the princess from escape.
120
00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:24,200
What?
121
00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:27,000
ln order to
gain access to the hottie
122
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,680
The nottie must be appeased.
123
00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:31,800
You're saying
that June is the reason
124
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:33,200
why Cristabel's still single?
125
00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:34,680
Of course she is!
126
00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:37,760
That, my friend,
is the whole purpose of the nottie.
127
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,680
Cristabel Abbott is the hottest
woman in Los Angeles.
128
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:42,600
But no man will ever win her heart
129
00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:45,000
without getting past
that monstrosity.
130
00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:48,880
And she will destroy you.
131
00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:54,160
No. No. This is fate.
132
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:57,600
Fate is the reason
she is still single.
133
00:08:57,840 --> 00:09:00,360
Look. l came 3000 miles
to get this girl
134
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:03,840
And it's going to take a lot more
than a June Phigg to stop me.
135
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:06,960
l like your moxie.
136
00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:08,760
Yeah? Good.
137
00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:11,040
You're gonna
need to see the file.
138
00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:12,480
Ma!
139
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,000
Bring out the file!
140
00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:15,880
Coming, precious.
141
00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:17,720
She loves it.
142
00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:21,920
The hottie and her every move.
143
00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:25,680
This whole thing is about
Cristabel Abbott?
144
00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:27,240
You should see the website.
145
00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:30,240
Now, according to my records
146
00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:33,560
She has a two mile jog every
morning past the Santa Monica pier.
147
00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:35,400
She stops
at Danny's Beachside Cafe
148
00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:38,400
for a light breakfast of ice
buttered mocha and fruit salad.
149
00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:43,440
She'll pass the north end of the
pier between 6:15 and 6:18 a.m.
150
00:09:43,680 --> 00:09:46,840
Benches that face the ocean are
the best ones to view her from.
151
00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:48,880
"Cause if you face the other way,
the sun gets in your eyes
152
00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:50,800
..and you lose the whole thing.
153
00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:33,080
Hey guys.
154
00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:38,840
Here she comes.
155
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,760
Konichiwa. Good morning.
156
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:02,400
Hi guys.
157
00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:04,080
l love you.
158
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:19,200
Good morning.
159
00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:33,320
Oh my god, l'm so sorry.
160
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,560
Were you sniffing me?
161
00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:37,840
Sorry.
162
00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:41,560
Hey, aren't you Cristabel Abbott?
163
00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:44,720
-Yeah.
-l think we went to school together.
164
00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:46,480
Back in the first grade.
165
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:50,520
Were you that guy who used to
put Vienna sausage in his pants?
166
00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:55,000
No. The guy with processed meats
that was Jay Gray.
167
00:11:57,080 --> 00:12:00,040
You're not that kid who used to
stick pencils up his nose, are you?
168
00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:01,440
No, that was my friend, Arno.
169
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:03,000
Nice guy.
170
00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:10,600
lf we went to first grade together,
and Arno only had one friend...
171
00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:15,600
You must be Nate Cooper.
172
00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:24,400
l don't want to alarm you...
173
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:27,800
but there's
a really creepy albino guy
174
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,880
standing outside the window.
175
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:34,120
Oh, that's just my stalker,
Randy.
176
00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:35,920
He's completely harmless.
177
00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:38,760
Randall,
that better be 40 feet away.
178
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,000
So where were we?
179
00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:46,640
Right. My job.
180
00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,240
l work as an event planner for
this charity group...
181
00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:53,240
which basically means l get to
throw fun parties for a good cause.
182
00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:54,600
Cool.
183
00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:59,680
And...l'm pregnant.
184
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,480
l'm not sure whose it is,
unfortunately.
185
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:06,160
Oh, l'm so sorry.
186
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:08,000
l'm kidding.
187
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,440
No kids, no boyfriend.
188
00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:12,000
No action of any kind.
189
00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:13,760
Oh, good.
190
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:15,800
Or not.
191
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,200
So what do you do now?
192
00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:20,880
Or are you still into finger
painting and Smurfs.
193
00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:23,160
No, no l um...
194
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:29,640
l'm a personal trainer.
195
00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:32,480
You're a personal trainer.
196
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:34,720
Yeah.
197
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:37,240
Like a gym?
198
00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:38,800
A lot of people mistake
personal fitness
199
00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:41,520
for being brought up
with roid rage.
200
00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:45,000
But who wants adult acne
and a shrunken penis.
201
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:46,520
Not me.
202
00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:55,000
No, it's a mind, body,
spirit sort of lifestyle.
203
00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:56,760
You are what you eat.
204
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,360
And whatnot.
205
00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:00,120
You should check out my gym.
206
00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:03,640
Actually, my roommate and l are
going there this afternoon for yoga.
207
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:05,760
So do you want to come?
208
00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:07,960
Absolutely.
209
00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:10,600
My roommate. lt's June.
210
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:12,840
From the first grade.
211
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:19,160
Wow...June...Yeah.
212
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,000
June's into heath.
213
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:22,200
She's a vegan.
214
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:24,680
Everything she eats is non-fat.
215
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,840
Oh...how delicious.
216
00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:30,560
l'm so glad we ran into
each other, Nate.
217
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,360
Me too.
218
00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:34,600
So the gym is at 6th and Ocean.
219
00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:38,800
Here's my number
if you forget the address.
220
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:53,600
There. Now you can't lose it.
221
00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:19,600
Hey, Cooper.
222
00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:22,480
Hey.
223
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:29,400
You remember June.
224
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:36,400
Oh God...
225
00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:39,240
Of course.
226
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:43,560
Yes. Who could forget the
lovely...June?
227
00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:45,680
-Oh, Jeanette.
-How are you?
228
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:47,440
-How are you?
-Good to see you.
229
00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:51,400
-You look beautiful.
-Thank you.
230
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:01,680
Sorry.
231
00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:03,400
Nice.
232
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:08,400
June and l don't get much action,
so we take what we can get.
233
00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:10,000
Grab a spot.
234
00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:32,720
So Nate here has become a
personal trainer.
235
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,760
Oh, yeah. But you know what?
236
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:36,120
Enough about me.
237
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:39,720
June, what do you do?
238
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,080
June's a handler at the zoo.
239
00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:43,840
That's great.
240
00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:48,080
The only downside is l'm
constantly covered in hair.
241
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,160
Not that l don't already have
enough to begin with.
242
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:53,640
June has a lot of problems
with hair removal.
243
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,440
l have sensitive skin.
244
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:56,760
Oh.
245
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,920
l mean, l've tried it all...
246
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:04,480
Shaving, bumps and ingrown
hairs...Nair.
247
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:06,400
Nasty chemical reaction.
248
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:11,520
The only thing l can really do
is Joleen Cream---bleach.
249
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:12,480
You know what?
250
00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:15,600
lf you hadn't said anything,
l wouldn't have noticed.
251
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,360
Uh, not that l've noticed now.
252
00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:22,440
l'm not focusing on that at all.
253
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:24,840
lt's natural.
254
00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:25,680
Everybody has it.
255
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:26,920
Everybody deals with it.
256
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,400
l've got hair.
257
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:30,080
Okay everyone.
258
00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:33,520
Let's begin with
downward facing dog.
259
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:37,200
-Adamucha Svenasama.
-Shit.
260
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:50,600
All right.
261
00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:04,080
And easing into cat pose.
262
00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:08,880
And arching your back.
263
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:13,680
And moving into downward
facing dog.
264
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:24,760
Beautiful form, Cristabel.
265
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:42,800
Oh, that was amazing.
266
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:51,680
So, Cris,
now that l'm back in town
267
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:56,880
l thought it'd be wonderful
if maybe you and l could
268
00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:00,480
go out to dinner...maybe.
269
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,520
Yeah, that'd be fun.
270
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:03,760
Yeah?
271
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:06,400
But the timing's terrible.
272
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:10,040
Nate, it probably won't come as
a huge surprise to you...
273
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,880
But June's never had a boyfriend.
274
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,640
-No.
-Yeah.
275
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:28,320
And all through school,
l went out with any guy who asked.
276
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:31,040
l didn't know the meaning
of the word "no'.
277
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:34,080
Sounds like l shouldn't
have left town then.
278
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:38,320
That's why l made
a promise to myself.
279
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:40,240
l'm not going to date
anyone again
280
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:43,400
till June has someone special
in her life.
281
00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:44,880
Wow.
282
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:48,360
That is...admirable.
283
00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:55,520
But that could be a very,
very long time.
284
00:19:56,040 --> 00:20:01,080
lt's just...the hard part
is going without the sex.
285
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:05,640
Don't take it personally, Coopie.
286
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:07,600
You're a great guy.
287
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,200
And if things were different...
288
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,680
Who knows?
289
00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:15,080
l gotta go.
290
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:19,320
But maybe l'll see you later.
291
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:23,120
-Yeah. l'll see you...later.
-Goodbye.
292
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:28,960
She's not only smoking hot...
293
00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:31,560
She's also extremely horny.
294
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:35,640
And for some unknown reason,
l think she likes me.
295
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,320
l've got to find a guy for June.
296
00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:40,080
There's somebody out there
for her.
297
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,040
There's someone for everyone.
298
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:43,360
Boys!
299
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:46,360
Mom. Nate thinks he can
fix up the nottie.
300
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,440
She's got fur on her toes.
301
00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:50,960
Mom!
302
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:54,960
l understand she has a little
problem with hair removal.
303
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:56,800
Has she tried the new lasers?
304
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,200
Worked great on my bikini line.
305
00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:01,160
Grew back in like peach fuzz.
306
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:02,560
That's true.
307
00:21:03,120 --> 00:21:04,040
But what are you going to do?
308
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:05,840
Laser her whole body?
309
00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:06,880
l mean, you have any idea
310
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:08,640
what kind of radiation
that would entail?
311
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:10,840
What if l tell her that
she won a makeover?
312
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:13,880
Send her to a spa, pretty her up.
313
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:14,840
Somebody'll take her.
314
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:15,800
Please.
315
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:16,680
You want to flip this chick
316
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,120
you're gonna have to do a lot
more than just mow the lawn.
317
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:21,920
l got it!
318
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:26,120
What if l pay somebody
to go out with her?
319
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:28,360
Pause.
320
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,520
Look, you think l
haven't been trying?
321
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:32,240
All right.
322
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:34,000
This isn't about a single date.
323
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,400
This is about somebody special
in her life, okay?
324
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:38,840
And you ain't got that
kind of blood money, my man.
325
00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:40,600
Arno.
326
00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:45,280
The history of mankind
is filled with men saying
327
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:47,560
that something cannot be done.
328
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:52,960
who are frequently interrupted by
someone who is already doing it.
329
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:55,040
What does that even mean?
330
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:56,320
l don't know.
331
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:58,520
l saw it on your wall back there.
332
00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:01,280
That is a beautiful blouse.
333
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:03,520
Thank you. l don't even know
what they're made of,
334
00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:05,040
but they're wonderful.
335
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:08,240
Thanks. He's sweet.
336
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:16,440
The reason l asked you
to meet me here...
337
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,480
-And like l said...
-lt's not a date. l know.
338
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:23,640
l couldn't even think about
selfish desires like that.
339
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:28,160
l am just too concerned
about June.
340
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:30,480
You've really been thinking
about June.
341
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,200
Yeah.
342
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:35,720
That's so sweet.
343
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:39,840
And l gotta tell you
l am sickened by the fact
344
00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:42,400
that none of these narrow
minded assholes
345
00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:45,400
can see how beautiful she is just
346
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:48,800
"cause they can't get past
some infected toenails
347
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:52,320
and some backne, you know.
348
00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:53,280
l know.
349
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:55,280
l feel the same way.
350
00:22:55,520 --> 00:23:01,920
And l think l have found
the perfect guy for her.
351
00:23:02,120 --> 00:23:03,560
What's his name?
352
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:05,360
Who?
353
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:08,480
The guy that's perfect for June.
354
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:09,760
That guy.
355
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,080
His name is...
356
00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:17,280
Cole Slaw...son.
357
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:18,760
Cole Slawsen.
358
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,560
A good friend, of a friend.
359
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:22,840
And that guy's name is Mike.
360
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:25,240
All real.
361
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,720
So it's the four of us.
362
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:30,640
Wouldn't you consider
that a double date?
363
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:34,400
Well, we can throw
them in the pit together
364
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:36,640
and hope they come out alive.
365
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:43,120
Or we could lead them
into a friendship that
366
00:23:43,360 --> 00:23:46,440
blossoms into a lifetime of love
367
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:50,000
lt would be a major step
if we could get her laid.
368
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:51,160
Right.
369
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:54,600
The whole lifetime of love
thing would just be a bonus.
370
00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:57,680
lt's just that...she never has...
371
00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:03,880
And l think a life without orgasms
is like a world without flowers.
372
00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:10,640
l couldn't agree with you more.
373
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:43,240
Yeah, l do. l do.
374
00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:51,920
No. No. Go.
375
00:24:52,120 --> 00:24:54,040
Ew. Gross.
376
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:02,280
Other side.
377
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:04,440
Oh yeah.
378
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:09,280
Take it.
379
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:32,840
Okay, listen.
380
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:34,920
-No. No.
-Okay.
381
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:36,440
What if l were to tell you
382
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:38,200
that you could still
make the $500 bucks
383
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:42,280
but all you had to do was go out
on a few dates with a woman.
384
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:46,320
Does she have a vagina?
385
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:48,080
Yeah.
386
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:52,280
Actually, you're gonna have to
let me know if it goes that far?
387
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:57,960
ls this woman you in a dress?
388
00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:01,000
No. No. This is a real woman.
389
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:04,080
But l have to be honest.
390
00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:07,600
She's not necessarily pretty.
391
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:09,920
None of my girlfriends
have been pretty.
392
00:26:10,120 --> 00:26:11,400
Good.
393
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:17,240
This is nice.
394
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:26,120
l'm gonna have her legs
behind her head.
395
00:26:26,360 --> 00:26:27,800
Get her dude.
396
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:33,960
Oh, these are shoulder blades.
397
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:38,320
l thought they were wings.
398
00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:40,480
l noticed you from across the bar.
399
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:42,320
And do you know what the
first thing l thought was?
400
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:46,080
Her daddy must be a baker "cause
she's got such a nice set of buns?
401
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:47,840
Do you really think
that all it takes
402
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:51,720
is a few hair plugs
some porcelain veneers
403
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:56,120
$250 jeans...to impress a girl
like Cris?
404
00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:58,200
Or didn't that occur to you
405
00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:01,280
while you were schlepping away
your days at the Porsche dealership.
406
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:03,880
to afford a few more of those
personal enhancements
407
00:27:04,120 --> 00:27:04,640
Which, by the way,
408
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:07,360
will never hide that you
haven't been laid by anybody
409
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:09,480
you haven't had to pay for
in over a year.
410
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:12,640
So why don't you and your starry
head full of doll's hair
411
00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:15,360
take a little walk back to the bar,
have another shot of Jager
412
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:19,320
And give my friend some space in
case a real man comes by, huh?
413
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:23,280
Who told you
l used to sell Porsches?
414
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:24,880
What?
415
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:29,560
What'd l tell you?
416
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:32,000
Pay our bar tab, bitch.
417
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:33,600
What did she say?
418
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,040
Oh god, they're here.
419
00:27:39,360 --> 00:27:40,560
Oh my god, they're here.
420
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:42,040
God, l'm so nervous.
421
00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:43,160
Don't be nervous.
422
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:44,920
Just do as l said.
423
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:46,080
Right.
424
00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:47,680
Keep drinking.
425
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:50,960
Well that...and just be yourself.
426
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:53,240
-Okay?
-Okay.
427
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:57,320
Steal yourself, Cole Slawsen.
428
00:27:57,560 --> 00:27:59,240
Oh, my name's not Cole Slawsen.
429
00:27:59,920 --> 00:28:02,640
Oh...right.
430
00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:03,800
Like l said,
431
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,480
-as long as she's female.
-Okay.
432
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:15,120
Oh my god, it has whiskers.
433
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:16,520
And no teeth.
434
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:17,160
Oh, no.
435
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:19,840
She has teeth.
436
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:22,160
They're just not
the conventional shade.
437
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:25,240
lt's fine. lt's fine.
's fine. Come on.
438
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:34,360
Hello, ladies.
439
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:39,000
Cole Slawsen,
this is Cristabel Abbott.
440
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:40,480
Hello.
441
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:45,320
And the lovely June Phigg.
442
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:46,880
Nice to meet you.
443
00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:48,800
-lt speaks.
-She's a woman.
444
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:51,400
l can't do this
My dingus will fall off.
445
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:52,800
You were rolling down your
flesh files.
446
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:54,000
l want to be released
from my contract.
447
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:54,640
-ls it me?
-Sorry.
448
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:57,000
l'll triple your offer, Cole.
449
00:28:57,240 --> 00:28:58,320
Fine.
450
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:01,840
We are too excited to do
this, girls.
451
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:04,840
Woo.
452
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:12,840
Now remember to stay focused,
okay?
453
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:15,360
lf you start to panic,
practice your breathing exercises.
454
00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:17,320
And go into your tranquil haven.
455
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:23,920
l am a mighty warrior,
fearless and strong.
456
00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:26,440
l admire your commitment
to excellence.
457
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:28,440
Now, where's that driver guy?
458
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:29,800
-Captain.
-Captain. Okay.
459
00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:31,680
l told him to be here by three.
460
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:34,920
Ahoy! Sorry l'm late, folks.
461
00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:37,280
Just had to grab my keys
from the rental office.
462
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:42,320
And l'm not feeling too well.
463
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:44,920
You're going to have to find
yourself another skipper.
464
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:46,920
Out of my way!
465
00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:51,080
-Oh, shucks.
-No, no, no.
466
00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:54,000
Breathe. Look at the beauty.
467
00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:55,880
Drink some of this.
468
00:29:58,040 --> 00:29:58,720
Okay.
469
00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:03,520
What we're going to do now is
what l like to call winging it.
470
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:04,760
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
471
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:06,400
We need you for the date.
472
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:11,440
Now this is
what l'm talking about.
473
00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:14,200
Sun in my face, wind in my hair.
474
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:16,480
The smell of salt in the air.
475
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:19,040
lsn't this great?
476
00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:22,160
Magnificent.
477
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:27,640
Okay...June,
how's your toe doing?
478
00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:30,920
lt's a lot better, thanks.
479
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:32,720
This guy l work with at the zoo.
480
00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:34,000
He works with the gorillas.
481
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:37,600
He actually mixed up a compound for
a silverback who had the same thing.
482
00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:40,880
Okay, anyone want another drink?
483
00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:42,600
Yes, yes.
484
00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:44,400
Absolutely.
485
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:50,320
Are you okay?
486
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:52,640
Never better.
487
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:56,600
Cole has a little bit of
a problem with acid reflux.
488
00:30:56,880 --> 00:31:01,120
l also have irritable
bowel syndrome.
489
00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:05,000
And involuntary
explosive diarrhea, so...
490
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:06,280
There it goes.
491
00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:07,440
l think l need to be excused.
492
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:08,520
-You know what? You shouldn't go.
-Yeah, l should.
493
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:09,400
You should probably stay around.
494
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:11,040
-No, l shouldn't.
-There's not even a bathroom close.
495
00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:11,800
No, l can't do this.
496
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:12,440
Look at her.
497
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:13,200
No, no, no.
498
00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:14,240
You're not going to go.
499
00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:15,800
You're not going anywhere.
500
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:20,800
You know what?
501
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:22,280
Let's play a game.
502
00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:23,360
We're going to play a game.
503
00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:24,560
lt's gonna be fun.
504
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:30,880
lf the two of you could go
anywhere in the world on a date
505
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:33,440
Where would it be?
506
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:34,320
Home.
507
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:35,000
Okay
508
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:35,920
You know... You know what?
509
00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:37,320
This is a question for me.
510
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:39,000
Nate. l'll take this one.
511
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:44,280
lf Nate could go anywhere in
the world on a date.
512
00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:49,040
His dream date would be...Venice.
513
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:51,440
-Venice?
-Yeah.
514
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:53,560
That would be my dream date too.
515
00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:54,880
Really?
516
00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:57,120
Anywhere in particular?
517
00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:59,280
No, nowhere really.
518
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,720
l just heard it was a great place
to get lost in.
519
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:08,000
Well, it's a gorgeous day out
and we're on this boat, so...
520
00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:09,320
Let's go get some sun.
521
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:12,600
Let's do it...Cole Slawsen.
522
00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:14,200
Get our tan up.
523
00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:56,200
Breathe.
524
00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:09,880
l got this.
525
00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:14,160
l'm a mighty warrior.
526
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:16,960
Fearless and strong.
527
00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:19,760
Come stop me.
528
00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:22,560
Nate, good news.
529
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:24,400
l just my toenail.
530
00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:46,080
You know, he's just cooling off.
531
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:48,240
The Coast Guard will
pick him up eventually.
532
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:07,000
This should cheer us up.
533
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:08,080
Good idea.
534
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:09,640
More alcohol.
535
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:11,240
That'll help.
536
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:17,120
Oh...dropped it.
537
00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:19,480
Completely forgot l had this.
538
00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:23,680
They were giving these out to all
the personal trainers in town.
539
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:25,520
Some sort of a promotion.
540
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:26,520
What is it?
541
00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:30,760
Gift certificate to a chi-chi
Beverly Hills spa.
542
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:31,640
Ha. Look at that.
543
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:33,000
lt's for two people.
544
00:34:33,240 --> 00:34:33,880
You know what?
545
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:35,280
The two of you
should really have this.
546
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:37,240
l mean,
l'm never going to use it.
547
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:41,880
Nate, this is for $2,000 worth
of spa treatments.
548
00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:43,920
You don't say.
549
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:46,280
No, you and Cris should
go together.
550
00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:48,360
l don't do well
with spa treatments
551
00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:51,200
They tend to backfire.
552
00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:53,840
That Cole was an idiot.
553
00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:56,560
l saw plenty of other guys
checking you out.
554
00:34:57,480 --> 00:34:59,440
Stop it, Cris. Come on.
555
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:02,120
We both know the only
male attention l get...
556
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:04,840
...is when they crawl
over me to get to you.
557
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:08,040
What about that guy who gave
you his card at the mall last week?
558
00:35:08,240 --> 00:35:09,720
He was a dermatologist.
559
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:13,000
Well, he did offer to remove
your mole for free.
560
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:13,680
That's cool
561
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:15,600
He could have been flirting.
562
00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:20,480
l heard somewhere that 95 percent
of the way others see you
563
00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:22,680
is the way you see yourself.
564
00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:25,680
Stop being
so self conscious around guys.
565
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:27,160
What am l supposed to do?
566
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:28,920
Pretend they're all blind?
567
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:33,080
l'm just saying you could try to
be more alluring and subtle.
568
00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:35,280
Men like a little mystery.
569
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:39,320
Absolutely we do. Yes.
570
00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:43,840
Unraveling the fairer sex is
one of life's greatest riddles.
571
00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:47,680
Oh yeah. l'm the mysterious
type all right.
572
00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:52,440
Nothing says subtle like an
infected toenail in your Chapstick.
573
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:54,400
June, don't be
so hard on yourself
574
00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:55,600
You know what?
575
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:56,640
lt's fine.
576
00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:57,920
lt's fine.
577
00:35:58,400 --> 00:35:59,960
l know my place in life.
578
00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:02,680
l allow your many suitors
to do their...
579
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:06,000
l'm a nice guy so l'm
talking to your ugly friend...
580
00:36:06,200 --> 00:36:07,400
in the hopes that
l might get a glimpse
581
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:08,920
of your perfect breasts routine.
582
00:36:09,120 --> 00:36:10,480
Right, Nate?
583
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:15,000
She's a little drunk.
584
00:36:15,240 --> 00:36:20,160
You know, June, some people think
our bodies are like an Earth suit
585
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:22,440
A vessel that carries our soul
586
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:26,400
until you pass on from this
planet into the next dimension.
587
00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:30,040
l don't even know
what that means.
588
00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:32,520
Yeah, l'm sort of with
her on this one.
589
00:36:33,720 --> 00:36:35,720
l'm just trying to help, okay?
590
00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:36,840
Great.
591
00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:40,520
Well...thanks for the help.
592
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:47,760
l'm such a bad friend.
593
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:49,040
No, that's ridiculous.
594
00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:50,560
You were just trying to help.
595
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:51,240
Come on.
596
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:53,480
You're absolutely
wonderful to June.
597
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:54,240
l'm not.
598
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:55,680
l'm horrible.
599
00:36:56,720 --> 00:36:59,080
l really made a promise to be
there for her.
600
00:36:59,920 --> 00:37:02,520
You've been so sweet and
601
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:05,840
l'm really becoming
attracted to you.
602
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:08,480
You are?
603
00:37:08,720 --> 00:37:11,400
And poor June's in there
crying her eyes out.
604
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:12,040
Oh, no, no, no.
605
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:13,000
Don't worry about her.
606
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:14,440
She's not crying.
607
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:16,800
She's probably
passed out by now.
608
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:20,240
l really like you, Nate.
609
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:21,440
Yeah?
610
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:23,880
And you're gonna
think l'm crazy, but...
611
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:26,480
l've thought about you
sometimes over the years.
612
00:37:27,240 --> 00:37:27,960
Really?
613
00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:32,120
l even used to look at our old
class picture once in a while.
614
00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:36,120
lf someone were standing here
telling me that...
615
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:39,080
l would think they were crazy.
616
00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:41,240
Or a pedophile.
617
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:44,640
But none of that matters now...
618
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:47,960
because l can't
just abandon June like that.
619
00:37:48,920 --> 00:37:52,240
Look, l have a confession to make.
620
00:37:52,720 --> 00:37:54,240
When you told me you
weren't dating
621
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:56,080
till June had
someone in her life...
622
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:58,840
l did see her as an obstacle.
623
00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:02,240
l lied about the spa promotion.
624
00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:03,040
l paid for it.
625
00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:05,240
To give June a stealth makeover.
626
00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:07,160
That's so sneaky.
627
00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:08,760
l know it's awful.
628
00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:12,000
But now l really do
wantto help her.
629
00:38:12,240 --> 00:38:13,600
And l think l can.
630
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:15,240
But l need your help.
631
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:17,000
You know what?
632
00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:18,640
l believe you.
633
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:19,680
Good.
634
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:21,200
Now stick with me.
635
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:22,800
l got a plan.
636
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:33,400
Are you guys sure this won't
have any residual effects?
637
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:36,440
Define residual.
638
00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:38,040
Okay.
639
00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:39,680
What we're going to do here today
640
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:42,560
is a combination of
aversion therapy
641
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:46,680
and do it yourself hypnosis.
642
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:50,000
Ma'am? Excuse me.
643
00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:53,040
Hi. Could l um...
644
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:04,240
Are you insane?
645
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:05,440
No. Uh...
646
00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:11,080
Okay.
647
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:16,520
Mmm...isn't it creamy
and delicious?
648
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:20,800
What a delightful reward for
your attraction to June.
649
00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:24,440
No, no.
650
00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:25,960
This is the good part.
651
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:28,840
l don't think l can do this.
652
00:39:29,120 --> 00:39:30,040
No, no, no.
653
00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:33,120
Let's not dwell in the negative,
Cole Slawsen.
654
00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:36,720
Your Medieval Times
goblet is half full.
655
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:38,000
Huh?
656
00:39:38,240 --> 00:39:41,440
Okay...get the pendant.
657
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:51,200
Your eyes are getting very heavy.
658
00:39:51,720 --> 00:39:52,280
No.
659
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:56,240
l am going to
count backwards from ten.
660
00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:59,440
And when l finish you will
only remain conscious
661
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:02,600
to the sound of
my mellifluous voice.
662
00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:11,560
Ten, nine, eight, seven six.
663
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:13,280
Five...
664
00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:18,480
Four, three, two...
665
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:23,360
One.
666
00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:31,400
You will open your eyes.
667
00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:34,760
And listen very carefully.
668
00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:38,280
When you see this...
669
00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:43,680
what you actually will be
seeing is this.
670
00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:45,880
Hi, Space Lady.
671
00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:49,720
Good.
672
00:40:51,720 --> 00:40:53,560
When l count to four
673
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:57,360
You will wake up refreshed,
but you will remember...
674
00:40:57,600 --> 00:40:59,520
nothing of what happened today.
675
00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:02,160
You will, however,
remember my instructions
676
00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:05,320
until which time you hear the phrase,
677
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:08,160
"l love ...
678
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:15,400
Midget ...mimes?
679
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:21,960
l love midget mimes.
680
00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:22,920
Good.
681
00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:23,840
One...
682
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:27,040
Two, three, four.
683
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:44,600
Oh, resistance is futile.
684
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:56,280
Wow, you guys look amazing.
685
00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:59,680
June's going back next week
to get her mole removed finally.
47135
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