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♪ I'm goin' down
to South Park ♪
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00:00:10,209 --> 00:00:12,124
♪ Gonna have myself a time
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00:00:12,168 --> 00:00:13,604
♪ Friendly faces
everywhere ♪
4
00:00:13,691 --> 00:00:15,475
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
5
00:00:15,606 --> 00:00:16,694
♪ I'm goin' down
to South Park ♪
6
00:00:16,825 --> 00:00:18,609
♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
7
00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:20,393
♪ Ample parking day
or night ♪
8
00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:22,178
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor" ♪
9
00:00:22,265 --> 00:00:23,396
♪ I'm headin' on down
to South Park ♪
10
00:00:23,483 --> 00:00:25,529
♪ Gonna see
if I can't unwind ♪
11
00:00:28,837 --> 00:00:30,012
♪ Come on down
to South Park ♪
12
00:00:30,055 --> 00:00:31,840
♪ And meet some friends
of mine ♪
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00:00:37,584 --> 00:00:40,631
All right, people,
it's almost Thanksgiving,
14
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:44,678
and that means the annual
Turkey Trot is nearly upon us.
15
00:00:44,809 --> 00:00:47,420
How is it that we haven't found
one sponsor
16
00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:49,640
to help pay for this event?
17
00:00:49,683 --> 00:00:52,295
South Park's just fallen
on hard times, Mayor.
18
00:00:52,425 --> 00:00:54,079
Nobody's got the money.
19
00:00:54,123 --> 00:00:56,952
Tegridy Farms used to be
a sponsor of the Turkey Trot,
20
00:00:57,082 --> 00:01:00,085
but as you know, we've recently
all lost Tegridy.
21
00:01:00,216 --> 00:01:02,261
So I'm afraid
we just can't help.
22
00:01:02,392 --> 00:01:04,655
What about
the City Asian Pop Up Store?
23
00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:06,962
Can't they help sponsor
this year's race?
24
00:01:07,092 --> 00:01:09,660
How City Asian Pop Up
pay for Turkey Trot?
25
00:01:09,791 --> 00:01:11,314
We gotta pay tariff!
26
00:01:11,444 --> 00:01:13,272
We more fucked than anybody!
27
00:01:13,316 --> 00:01:15,492
Let's just face it, Mayor,
South Park businesses
28
00:01:15,622 --> 00:01:18,800
are dying and a lot of good
people have lost their jobs.
29
00:01:18,843 --> 00:01:21,541
Trash?
Anybody got trash?
30
00:01:21,672 --> 00:01:24,327
Oh, yeah, here's some.
Bank shot!
31
00:01:24,457 --> 00:01:27,460
There has to be a solution,
people.
32
00:01:27,547 --> 00:01:29,635
The Turkey Trot is
the one time of year
33
00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:32,074
this town comes together
as a community.
34
00:01:32,204 --> 00:01:34,728
We all need it now,
more than ever.
35
00:01:34,859 --> 00:01:37,514
Well, of course,
there is someone
36
00:01:37,644 --> 00:01:40,473
who'd be willing to give
South Park a bunch of money.
37
00:01:44,782 --> 00:01:47,698
I mean, they're giving money
to everyone else.
38
00:01:47,829 --> 00:01:49,047
Why not us?
39
00:01:50,396 --> 00:01:52,572
My God.
40
00:01:52,616 --> 00:01:54,183
That's it!
41
00:01:57,012 --> 00:01:59,275
This Thanksgiving morning,
42
00:01:59,361 --> 00:02:02,365
lace up for holiday fun
and tradition.
43
00:02:02,495 --> 00:02:05,716
It's the 28th annual
South Park Turkey Trot.
44
00:02:05,847 --> 00:02:07,065
Sponsored by...
45
00:02:07,109 --> 00:02:08,675
Saudi Arabia!
46
00:02:15,508 --> 00:02:17,902
It's a 5K race
absolutely stuffed
47
00:02:18,033 --> 00:02:19,643
with Thanksgiving traditions.
48
00:02:21,514 --> 00:02:23,081
And the first one across
the finish line
49
00:02:23,125 --> 00:02:25,736
wins their team $5,000!
50
00:02:32,961 --> 00:02:34,963
Sign up your team now!
51
00:02:35,093 --> 00:02:37,443
All ages are welcome!
52
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,576
Disparaging remarks towards
the Saudi Royal family
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00:02:39,706 --> 00:02:41,708
are strictly prohibited.
54
00:02:41,752 --> 00:02:45,408
Start your Thanksgiving with
this time-honored tradition.
55
00:02:45,538 --> 00:02:47,323
The South Park Turkey Trot.
56
00:02:55,331 --> 00:02:57,550
$5,000, you guys.
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00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:59,074
The winner of this year's
Turkey Trot
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00:02:59,117 --> 00:03:01,641
gets $5,000 from Saudi Arabia.
59
00:03:01,772 --> 00:03:04,122
Like, if anybody's gonna
get money from Saudi Arabia,
60
00:03:04,209 --> 00:03:05,515
it should be us.
61
00:03:08,387 --> 00:03:09,867
And just one person
has to win the race
62
00:03:09,998 --> 00:03:11,216
and your whole team
gets the money?
63
00:03:11,347 --> 00:03:13,131
- Yeah!
- Dude, that is crazy!
64
00:03:15,046 --> 00:03:16,874
We should just get a bunch
of kids on our team,
65
00:03:17,005 --> 00:03:18,789
and then the chances of one of
us winning is way better.
66
00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:20,965
Yeah, but then you gotta
split the prize money more ways.
67
00:03:21,096 --> 00:03:22,532
It's true, man.
68
00:03:22,574 --> 00:03:25,100
I say we keep our team to four,
five runners, max.
69
00:03:25,230 --> 00:03:27,015
Nobody said we wanted you
on the team.
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00:03:27,145 --> 00:03:28,451
Yeah, you kinda slow us down.
71
00:03:28,581 --> 00:03:30,018
Oh, no, no, no, trust me.
72
00:03:30,148 --> 00:03:32,411
You want me on the racing team.
73
00:03:32,542 --> 00:03:35,240
I happen to be an expert
in race science, you guys.
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00:03:35,327 --> 00:03:38,374
I know a way to give our team
an optimal winning advantage.
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00:03:41,377 --> 00:03:42,334
Tolkien!
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00:03:42,465 --> 00:03:43,553
Hey, man.
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00:03:43,596 --> 00:03:44,771
Listen, I was, uh...
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00:03:44,815 --> 00:03:46,295
I was just wondering whose team
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00:03:46,425 --> 00:03:48,601
you're thinking of being on
for the big Turkey Trot.
80
00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:50,255
- Turkey Trot?
- You know, the big footrace
81
00:03:50,386 --> 00:03:51,691
Thanksgiving morning?
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00:03:51,822 --> 00:03:54,042
First place wins 5,000 bucks
for his whole team.
83
00:03:54,172 --> 00:03:56,958
Oh.
I'm not really a runner.
84
00:03:57,001 --> 00:03:58,611
Yeah, right.
85
00:03:58,698 --> 00:04:00,178
Of course you're a runner,
Tolkien.
86
00:04:00,222 --> 00:04:02,311
Sorry, guys,
just give me one second.
87
00:04:02,441 --> 00:04:04,400
- What the hell is he doing?
- I don't know.
88
00:04:04,487 --> 00:04:05,618
All right, look, Tolkien,
89
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:07,446
I'm a racing science expert, OK?
90
00:04:07,577 --> 00:04:09,579
The data shows your race
always wins races.
91
00:04:11,276 --> 00:04:13,017
Whoa, whoa, Tolkien.
Tolkien.
92
00:04:13,148 --> 00:04:14,801
Come on, man, it's Thanksgiving.
93
00:04:14,845 --> 00:04:16,151
If you don't want to race
for yourself,
94
00:04:16,281 --> 00:04:18,457
then do it for the needy...
Kenny and Stan.
95
00:04:18,588 --> 00:04:21,069
I mean, Stan's family
lost their home, dude.
96
00:04:21,112 --> 00:04:23,027
Those guys could really use
the money,
97
00:04:23,071 --> 00:04:24,986
and all the analytics show
that with you on the team,
98
00:04:25,029 --> 00:04:26,422
we can't lose.
99
00:04:26,465 --> 00:04:29,164
Could you... could you just do it
for Thanksgiving?
100
00:04:29,207 --> 00:04:30,817
All right, fine.
101
00:04:30,948 --> 00:04:32,732
Yes? He said yes!
102
00:04:37,737 --> 00:04:39,826
Jesus Christ, Mitch.
103
00:04:39,870 --> 00:04:42,960
A $5,000 prize
for the Turkey Trot?
104
00:04:43,091 --> 00:04:45,745
Everyone in town is gonna want
to do this race.
105
00:04:45,876 --> 00:04:48,313
I was kind of thinking of
signing the family up, sir.
106
00:04:48,357 --> 00:04:50,707
We could really use some of that
Saudi Arabian dough.
107
00:04:50,837 --> 00:04:52,578
Can't do it, Mitch.
We're gonna be busy on race day.
108
00:04:52,665 --> 00:04:53,884
Sir!
109
00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:55,277
The White house is calling
again.
110
00:04:55,407 --> 00:04:57,018
They're demanding
we release the prisoner.
111
00:04:57,105 --> 00:04:58,279
Tell them we're busy.
112
00:04:58,410 --> 00:04:59,759
But they said
if we don't comply,
113
00:04:59,890 --> 00:05:01,283
they're gonna send in
Pete Hegseth
114
00:05:01,413 --> 00:05:03,024
and the Department of War.
115
00:05:03,111 --> 00:05:05,243
Who's Pete Hegseth?
116
00:05:11,249 --> 00:05:13,599
Yeah! Yeah!
117
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,690
Hey, what's up, guys?
This is Pete Hegseth
118
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:19,344
with the Department of War!
119
00:05:19,388 --> 00:05:22,478
We're here to infiltrate this
police station and extract a POI
120
00:05:22,521 --> 00:05:25,220
'cause that's what we do!
121
00:05:26,656 --> 00:05:29,485
At ease, soldier!
122
00:05:29,572 --> 00:05:31,400
The President of
the United States orders you
123
00:05:31,530 --> 00:05:34,316
to release custody of the
prisoner to me immediately.
124
00:05:36,187 --> 00:05:39,973
I warned you
I had powerful friends.
125
00:05:40,104 --> 00:05:42,541
Yeah, well, Totoro still
has to be processed
126
00:05:42,672 --> 00:05:44,108
and seen by a judge.
127
00:05:44,152 --> 00:05:46,023
And we have a big Turkey Trot
to deal with,
128
00:05:46,067 --> 00:05:47,372
so it's gonna be a few days.
129
00:05:47,503 --> 00:05:49,505
Hey, man, I don't think
you understand.
130
00:05:49,592 --> 00:05:52,334
You're messing with
the Department of War!
131
00:05:52,464 --> 00:05:53,726
And we mean business.
132
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,380
We don't stand down for anyone!
133
00:05:55,511 --> 00:05:56,729
Be sure to like and subscribe.
134
00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:58,296
All right, let's do this!
135
00:06:01,125 --> 00:06:04,172
All right, I certainly don't
want to tangle with you guys.
136
00:06:04,259 --> 00:06:06,957
How about you just push
the secret button in the floor
137
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:10,134
over here and the jail cell
doors will all open.
138
00:06:10,178 --> 00:06:11,918
- The secret button?
- Yeah, it's in the floor.
139
00:06:12,049 --> 00:06:13,224
Right there, you see it?
140
00:06:13,355 --> 00:06:15,966
It's right... there it is!
- Ah, ah, ahh!
141
00:06:16,053 --> 00:06:18,316
Now get your little bitch ass
out of my town.
142
00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:19,970
Oh, you...
143
00:06:20,101 --> 00:06:22,190
I dare you to do that again.
144
00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:37,770
OK, and did you already register
145
00:06:37,857 --> 00:06:39,337
your racing team online?
146
00:06:39,380 --> 00:06:41,600
Yeah, it's, uh, Jimbo and Ned.
147
00:06:41,731 --> 00:06:44,299
We're racing with
the Kiwanis Gun Club.
148
00:06:44,342 --> 00:06:45,952
Yes, here you go.
149
00:06:45,996 --> 00:06:47,779
Good luck with the race,
happy Thanksgiving,
150
00:06:47,867 --> 00:06:50,392
and.
151
00:06:50,522 --> 00:06:53,873
Uh, it's Mackey.
Mr. Mackey, mmkay.
152
00:06:54,004 --> 00:06:56,354
OK, Mr. Mackey,
and how many on your team?
153
00:06:56,398 --> 00:06:58,661
Oh, I'm not on no team, mmkay.
154
00:06:58,704 --> 00:07:01,968
I need that sweet Saudi Arabian
money all for myself.
155
00:07:02,012 --> 00:07:03,883
All right, guys,
we got our racing numbers.
156
00:07:04,014 --> 00:07:05,581
Damn, dude, there's so many
people signing up.
157
00:07:05,624 --> 00:07:06,669
How are we ever gonna win?
158
00:07:06,799 --> 00:07:07,844
Don't worry, you guys,
159
00:07:07,974 --> 00:07:09,454
I've been scoping out
the competition.
160
00:07:09,585 --> 00:07:11,239
That group over there
is the Rotary Club.
161
00:07:11,326 --> 00:07:13,110
They won last year, but
they're all, like, old now.
162
00:07:13,241 --> 00:07:15,330
Over there is
the City Pop Up team.
163
00:07:15,460 --> 00:07:16,853
The race science says
they'll race smart,
164
00:07:16,983 --> 00:07:18,681
but not necessarily fast,
so we're good there.
165
00:07:18,811 --> 00:07:20,030
Oh, hey, Stan.
166
00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:21,466
You gonna do the Turkey Trot
this year?
167
00:07:21,597 --> 00:07:23,120
Yeah. You guys are too?
168
00:07:23,251 --> 00:07:25,688
Hell yeah, we are!
$5,000!
169
00:07:25,818 --> 00:07:27,603
Oh, yeah, I'm sure
all four of you ladies
170
00:07:27,690 --> 00:07:29,692
have a really awesome chance
of winning.
171
00:07:29,822 --> 00:07:31,824
There's actually five of us.
172
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,391
Hey, guys, what's up?
173
00:07:35,654 --> 00:07:37,613
Well, we'll see you at the race.
174
00:07:37,656 --> 00:07:39,354
All right, see ya!
175
00:07:39,484 --> 00:07:42,618
They're teaching race science
to girls now?
176
00:07:42,661 --> 00:07:44,750
What the hell kind of country
are we living in?
177
00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:48,189
Commitment!
178
00:07:48,232 --> 00:07:49,842
Strength!
179
00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:53,237
The ability to obliterate
our enemies!
180
00:07:53,368 --> 00:07:56,240
That is the Department of War!
181
00:07:56,371 --> 00:07:58,634
What's up, guys?
I'm Pete Hegseth.
182
00:07:58,721 --> 00:08:01,071
We're outside
this woke liberal town
183
00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:03,160
that is actually
defying our government,
184
00:08:03,291 --> 00:08:05,380
and nobody defies
the Department of War!
185
00:08:05,510 --> 00:08:08,165
Pete Hegseth will do
whatever it takes!
186
00:08:08,296 --> 00:08:10,602
I'm here to kick bubblegum
and chew ass,
187
00:08:10,646 --> 00:08:12,604
and I'm all outta ass.
188
00:08:12,735 --> 00:08:15,085
I'll do whatever's necessary
to get the job done!
189
00:08:16,217 --> 00:08:17,696
Oh, yeah, look at that!
190
00:08:17,827 --> 00:08:20,003
That's the President of the
United States calling me,
191
00:08:20,090 --> 00:08:21,047
right now!
192
00:08:21,178 --> 00:08:22,875
Yes, Mr. President?
193
00:08:23,006 --> 00:08:24,181
Hegseth!
194
00:08:24,225 --> 00:08:25,704
What the fuck are you doing?
195
00:08:25,835 --> 00:08:27,750
Did you get Peter Thiel?
196
00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,361
No, sir, we were unable
to extract the prisoner.
197
00:08:30,492 --> 00:08:33,277
We were met with resistance from
the woke local police force.
198
00:08:33,321 --> 00:08:35,932
God damn it,
we gave you one job to do.
199
00:08:36,062 --> 00:08:38,717
We need Peter Thiel here
at the White house.
200
00:08:38,847 --> 00:08:40,328
Sir, yes, sir!
201
00:08:40,371 --> 00:08:42,547
I'm gonna need the full might
of the Department of War!
202
00:08:42,591 --> 00:08:45,202
I'll need all our tanks
and guns and dudes!
203
00:08:45,246 --> 00:08:46,682
Then you've got it.
204
00:08:46,725 --> 00:08:49,467
Just get us the prisoner,
no matter what it takes!
205
00:08:49,554 --> 00:08:50,990
Hell yeah!
206
00:08:51,121 --> 00:08:53,689
And Hegseth, don't just make
a bunch of content.
207
00:08:53,776 --> 00:08:56,431
Like, actually go
and do something.
208
00:08:59,085 --> 00:09:00,652
Be sure to like
and subscribe, guys.
209
00:09:00,783 --> 00:09:03,264
Yes, sir, Mr. President!
I will make this town pay!
210
00:09:04,700 --> 00:09:07,006
God, he is such a douchebag.
211
00:09:07,137 --> 00:09:10,923
All right, men, we'll have
a full army here by tomorrow.
212
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:13,099
And then that smalltown cop
213
00:09:13,143 --> 00:09:16,102
is gonna see
he messed with the wrong guy.
214
00:09:25,764 --> 00:09:27,984
It's the morning
of the big race,
215
00:09:28,114 --> 00:09:30,508
and all of South Park
appears to have turned out
216
00:09:30,595 --> 00:09:32,815
in the spirit of community.
217
00:09:32,945 --> 00:09:34,599
People are putting on
their numbers
218
00:09:34,730 --> 00:09:38,037
and rocking out
their festive costumes.
219
00:09:38,168 --> 00:09:39,952
I'm with Police Chief Harris,
220
00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:42,520
and Chief, your guys have been
working overtime.
221
00:09:42,564 --> 00:09:44,348
Yeah, well,
we just want to make sure
222
00:09:44,392 --> 00:09:46,916
everyone has a safe
Thanksgiving morning.
223
00:09:46,959 --> 00:09:49,527
We want people to stay hydrated
and be responsible.
224
00:09:49,614 --> 00:09:51,616
Let's have a good Turkey Trot.
225
00:09:51,703 --> 00:09:53,270
Now, of course, there's a lot
of money on the line
226
00:09:53,314 --> 00:09:55,054
for the team of the race winner,
227
00:09:55,185 --> 00:09:58,580
and so some people
are turning to race science.
228
00:09:58,623 --> 00:10:00,059
That's right, you know,
a lot of people these days
229
00:10:00,190 --> 00:10:01,626
want to debunk science.
230
00:10:01,757 --> 00:10:03,019
You know,
vaccine's cause autism,
231
00:10:03,149 --> 00:10:04,803
jet fuel leaves chemtrails,
232
00:10:04,934 --> 00:10:07,719
but when it comes to
racing science, it's science.
233
00:10:07,850 --> 00:10:11,549
Certainly a lot of runners
hoping to cash in today,
234
00:10:11,593 --> 00:10:14,770
so may the best turkey win.
235
00:10:16,859 --> 00:10:18,295
All right,
you guys ready to run?
236
00:10:18,426 --> 00:10:20,079
We got this.
Come on, team, let's go!
237
00:10:20,210 --> 00:10:22,168
Where's Tolkien?
- Oh, you didn't hear?
238
00:10:22,299 --> 00:10:23,474
I didn't hear what?
239
00:10:23,605 --> 00:10:24,693
Tolkien says
he's not gonna race.
240
00:10:26,434 --> 00:10:28,653
What do you mean
Tolkien's not going to race?
241
00:10:28,697 --> 00:10:30,612
He said because it's being
sponsored by Saudi Arabia,
242
00:10:30,742 --> 00:10:32,527
he's bowing out
for political reasons.
243
00:10:32,570 --> 00:10:34,790
- Are you fucking joking?
- No.
244
00:10:34,833 --> 00:10:37,009
God damn it, wait here!
245
00:10:38,446 --> 00:10:43,364
Welcome, everyone to the 28th
annual South Park Turkey Trot!
246
00:10:45,366 --> 00:10:47,324
This is a wonderful turnout,
247
00:10:47,455 --> 00:10:50,980
and I'm sure you'll all help me
in thanking this year's sponsor,
248
00:10:51,110 --> 00:10:52,764
Saudi Arabia!
249
00:10:59,771 --> 00:11:01,033
Holy shit!
250
00:11:03,906 --> 00:11:07,039
Holy shit,
we've got an Antifa uprising!
251
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:09,477
All right, Department of War,
listen up!
252
00:11:09,564 --> 00:11:12,349
The people of this town
are starting an insurrection!
253
00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:16,179
But they will not stand in
the way of us getting our man!
254
00:11:18,268 --> 00:11:19,835
Tolkien!
255
00:11:19,965 --> 00:11:21,619
Tolkien?
256
00:11:21,663 --> 00:11:22,707
Tolkien!
257
00:11:27,451 --> 00:11:28,844
Dude, what the hell are you
doing?
258
00:11:28,931 --> 00:11:30,280
Playing "Arc Raiders."
259
00:11:30,367 --> 00:11:31,499
The guys said
you're not gonna race
260
00:11:31,542 --> 00:11:33,239
because it's being sponsored
by Saudi Arabia?
261
00:11:33,370 --> 00:11:35,111
Yeah, just doesn't feel right.
262
00:11:35,241 --> 00:11:36,982
"It doesn't feel right"?
263
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:40,508
- Yeah, doesn't feel right.
- "It doesn't feel right"?
264
00:11:40,595 --> 00:11:42,248
What, Tolkien, you don't like
that Saudi Arabia
265
00:11:42,379 --> 00:11:43,641
is buying American stuff?
266
00:11:43,685 --> 00:11:45,382
They're trying to be
progressive, OK?
267
00:11:45,513 --> 00:11:47,471
You want them to go back
to what they were doing?
268
00:11:47,515 --> 00:11:49,604
You want Saudi Arabia to just go
back to cutting people up
269
00:11:49,734 --> 00:11:51,649
and paying Kevin Hart?
Is that what you want?
270
00:11:51,693 --> 00:11:53,085
I can't see the screen.
271
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,522
Tolkien, you can't whine
about a country
272
00:11:54,609 --> 00:11:56,349
trying to come into
the 21st century.
273
00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:59,091
Them wanting to help pay
for American things is good.
274
00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:01,050
'Cause guess what?
If Saudi Arabia is out
275
00:12:01,093 --> 00:12:02,268
paying for sporting events,
276
00:12:02,312 --> 00:12:03,531
they're not out
hacking up reporters
277
00:12:03,618 --> 00:12:05,620
and inviting Pete Davidson
to come do comedy.
278
00:12:13,541 --> 00:12:16,326
All right, everyone,
on your mark...
279
00:12:23,028 --> 00:12:24,987
Get set...
280
00:12:34,736 --> 00:12:36,172
Holy shit!
281
00:12:36,302 --> 00:12:38,435
Shots fired!
Shots fired!
282
00:12:38,566 --> 00:12:42,178
Get set up over there!
We need content! Now!
283
00:12:42,308 --> 00:12:44,659
What's up, guys?
Pete Hegseth, Department of War.
284
00:12:44,702 --> 00:12:46,356
We are being fired upon!
285
00:12:46,443 --> 00:12:49,185
There's an uprising here.
Some kind of insurrection.
286
00:12:49,315 --> 00:12:51,317
Make sure to like and subscribe!
287
00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:57,933
You can hear
the liberal terrorists
288
00:12:58,020 --> 00:13:00,152
all screaming
and chanting behind us.
289
00:13:00,239 --> 00:13:01,719
We're gonna take 'em on!
290
00:13:01,806 --> 00:13:03,286
Just another day
in the Department of War!
291
00:13:03,373 --> 00:13:04,505
Let's move out!
292
00:13:04,548 --> 00:13:06,768
Did you know that since 2018,
293
00:13:06,811 --> 00:13:09,248
they actually allow women
to drive in Saudi Arabia?
294
00:13:09,379 --> 00:13:11,990
They allow women to drive!
295
00:13:12,034 --> 00:13:15,341
It's like practically a lesbian
utopia over there.
296
00:13:15,385 --> 00:13:17,822
Can you please just let me
enjoy my Thanksgiving morning?
297
00:13:17,866 --> 00:13:20,172
Oh, yeah, sure, who cares
about lesbian utopia?
298
00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:22,435
Not Tolkien.
Tolkien wants Saudi Arabia
299
00:13:22,566 --> 00:13:24,176
to just keep chopping off
gay people's heads.
300
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:25,743
That's way better, isn't it?
301
00:13:25,830 --> 00:13:28,485
- You're being a dick, bro.
- Go away.
302
00:13:30,618 --> 00:13:32,184
All right, Tolkien,
you know what?
303
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:34,447
Fine.
If you really don't want to be
304
00:13:34,578 --> 00:13:37,755
a part of our country embracing
Saudi Arabia's desire to change,
305
00:13:37,799 --> 00:13:39,540
then we don't need you.
306
00:13:43,979 --> 00:13:45,328
Hey!
307
00:13:46,372 --> 00:13:48,505
Hey, gimme back my Xbox!
308
00:13:48,549 --> 00:13:50,942
Come get it, asshole!
309
00:13:59,037 --> 00:14:00,212
Come on.
310
00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:02,214
Come on,
we gotta get that money.
311
00:14:03,302 --> 00:14:05,304
The rioting terrorists
appear to be advancing
312
00:14:05,348 --> 00:14:07,002
north, northeast.
313
00:14:07,089 --> 00:14:08,699
Our plan, gentlemen,
314
00:14:08,830 --> 00:14:12,007
is to intercept them
at this location here,
315
00:14:12,050 --> 00:14:14,836
and get as much content
as we possibly can.
316
00:14:14,879 --> 00:14:18,013
It's quite possible we'll also
be needing to get content
317
00:14:18,056 --> 00:14:19,884
in this area, so be ready.
318
00:14:20,015 --> 00:14:22,974
Third Battalion,
you'll be posting up here.
319
00:14:23,018 --> 00:14:25,803
I want you posting on Instagram
and Twitter.
320
00:14:25,890 --> 00:14:27,588
Alpha Team post here.
321
00:14:27,675 --> 00:14:29,372
Bravo Team content there.
322
00:14:32,549 --> 00:14:34,377
All right, everyone, stand by.
323
00:14:34,464 --> 00:14:36,031
At ease, soldier.
324
00:14:36,074 --> 00:14:37,902
We heard there's
a civilian uprising.
325
00:14:37,946 --> 00:14:40,035
Yeah, we don't need
Homeland Security's help.
326
00:14:40,122 --> 00:14:41,819
We got it.
- We're just here to assist
327
00:14:41,906 --> 00:14:43,081
in any way we can.
328
00:14:43,212 --> 00:14:45,040
That's what
Homeland Security does.
329
00:14:45,127 --> 00:14:46,824
Be sure to like
and subscribe, guys.
330
00:14:46,868 --> 00:14:48,652
We've got a...
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
331
00:14:48,783 --> 00:14:50,480
This is not your content.
332
00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:53,396
Everyone like and subscribe
to Department of War!
333
00:15:04,276 --> 00:15:05,626
Come on. Come on.
334
00:15:05,713 --> 00:15:07,802
You got this. I got it.
335
00:15:14,809 --> 00:15:17,855
God damn it! Gimme my Xbox!
336
00:15:17,942 --> 00:15:21,424
Tolkien, how can you not catch
up to me?
337
00:15:23,469 --> 00:15:26,124
You're not even trying!
338
00:15:26,255 --> 00:15:27,691
I am trying!
339
00:15:27,822 --> 00:15:31,869
I told you, I'm not a runner!
340
00:15:31,913 --> 00:15:33,349
Yes, you are!
341
00:15:33,479 --> 00:15:36,744
Will you stop fucking around?
342
00:15:52,629 --> 00:15:54,326
Homeland Security
to Department of War.
343
00:15:54,413 --> 00:15:57,503
The protestors are headed
your way.
344
00:15:57,547 --> 00:15:59,331
Stand down, Homeland Security.
345
00:15:59,462 --> 00:16:00,898
This is our content.
346
00:16:00,942 --> 00:16:02,291
There's too many of 'em!
347
00:16:13,955 --> 00:16:15,521
Here they come.
348
00:16:15,565 --> 00:16:18,133
Everyone, hold your positions!
349
00:16:18,220 --> 00:16:20,526
Department of War will not
be intimidated!
350
00:16:23,965 --> 00:16:25,836
Hold.
351
00:16:27,446 --> 00:16:29,579
Hold!
352
00:16:32,103 --> 00:16:34,323
Fire the tear gas! Yeah!
353
00:16:40,590 --> 00:16:42,984
Dude.
354
00:16:43,114 --> 00:16:44,420
Dude, which way are we
supposed to go?
355
00:16:44,550 --> 00:16:47,336
I can't... I can't see nothing.
356
00:16:50,992 --> 00:16:52,907
Tolkien? Tolkien!
357
00:16:53,037 --> 00:16:55,518
Where the hell did you go?
358
00:17:12,752 --> 00:17:14,798
What the hell's going on?
359
00:17:14,929 --> 00:17:16,146
We don't know.
360
00:17:16,191 --> 00:17:17,758
Well, how the hell are we
supposed to race
361
00:17:17,845 --> 00:17:18,976
if they've blocked the road?
362
00:17:23,633 --> 00:17:25,461
Look, all I know is that
363
00:17:25,590 --> 00:17:28,072
the Stotch family is in big
financial trouble this year.
364
00:17:28,203 --> 00:17:30,118
We have to reach
that finish line.
365
00:17:30,248 --> 00:17:32,860
You think you fucked?
We gotta pay tariff!
366
00:17:32,947 --> 00:17:35,079
That prize money is
our only chance.
367
00:17:35,210 --> 00:17:37,734
Does anyone have
a Turkey Trot route map?
368
00:17:37,778 --> 00:17:39,388
Yeah, I've got one here.
369
00:17:39,431 --> 00:17:40,345
All right, let's see.
370
00:17:42,652 --> 00:17:44,959
So if this area's
all blocked off,
371
00:17:45,089 --> 00:17:46,656
then our best chance
at getting to the finish line
372
00:17:46,787 --> 00:17:48,092
is detouring through here.
373
00:17:48,223 --> 00:17:51,269
No, no, we should go this way
through the underpass.
374
00:17:51,313 --> 00:17:53,402
Are you crazy?
That's too much of a shortcut.
375
00:17:53,445 --> 00:17:55,317
We could get disqualified.
376
00:17:55,447 --> 00:17:58,668
All that matters is that
it's OK with Saudi Arabia.
377
00:17:58,755 --> 00:18:02,324
Would going this way be OK
with Saudi Arabia?
378
00:18:02,454 --> 00:18:05,718
There's no way to be sure
what Saudi Arabia wants.
379
00:18:05,849 --> 00:18:08,983
All I know is,
I need their money.
380
00:18:09,113 --> 00:18:12,464
So I'm gonna go out there
and take my chances.
381
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:18,731
What's up, guys?
382
00:18:18,862 --> 00:18:20,211
Pete Hegseth, Department of War.
383
00:18:20,255 --> 00:18:22,083
We've got the Narco terrorists
on the run
384
00:18:22,213 --> 00:18:23,606
and we're gonna take 'em out.
385
00:18:23,693 --> 00:18:26,043
Yeah!
386
00:18:26,087 --> 00:18:32,354
♪ Pete Hegseth is
a fucking douche ♪
387
00:18:32,484 --> 00:18:38,316
♪ Pete Hegseth
is a fucking douche ♪
388
00:18:38,447 --> 00:18:39,883
♪ Acting like a tough guy ♪
389
00:18:39,927 --> 00:18:44,453
♪ Posting it
around the world ♪
390
00:18:44,496 --> 00:18:45,933
♪ Making lots of content
391
00:18:46,063 --> 00:18:50,372
♪ Like a little teenage girl ♪
392
00:18:50,502 --> 00:18:57,161
♪ Pete Hegseth's
a fucking douche ♪
393
00:18:57,205 --> 00:19:01,252
♪ Pete Hegseth is
a fucking douche ♪
394
00:19:08,912 --> 00:19:11,393
All right, buddy.
395
00:19:11,523 --> 00:19:13,134
I don't know
what you think you're doing,
396
00:19:13,177 --> 00:19:16,093
but I'm pretty sure I told you
to get the hell out of my town.
397
00:19:16,180 --> 00:19:18,182
Oh, yeah?
398
00:19:18,226 --> 00:19:20,532
Well, what do you think
you're gonna do about it?
399
00:19:23,318 --> 00:19:26,190
Hello?
400
00:19:26,321 --> 00:19:28,105
Hello?
401
00:19:28,149 --> 00:19:29,498
Anybody?
402
00:19:29,541 --> 00:19:30,673
Give me my Xbox!
403
00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:32,066
Ah!
404
00:19:35,896 --> 00:19:37,985
What is your problem, man?
405
00:19:38,028 --> 00:19:40,378
You could've made this
an amazing Thanksgiving.
406
00:19:40,509 --> 00:19:43,904
For Stan. For Kenny.
407
00:19:43,947 --> 00:19:45,993
But you just wanna play games.
408
00:19:46,123 --> 00:19:48,343
For the last time,
409
00:19:48,430 --> 00:19:51,215
just because I'm Black
doesn't mean I run fast!
410
00:19:51,346 --> 00:19:53,826
Yes, you do.
411
00:19:53,957 --> 00:19:56,090
You just weren't trying
because you have a problem
412
00:19:56,220 --> 00:19:58,440
with Saudia Arabia joining
the global community.
413
00:19:58,570 --> 00:20:00,442
That has nothing to do
with you being a racist.
414
00:20:00,572 --> 00:20:01,922
Oh, I'm a racist?
415
00:20:01,965 --> 00:20:03,532
You want Saudi Arabia
416
00:20:03,575 --> 00:20:05,708
to just keep stuffing
journalists into suitcases,
417
00:20:05,751 --> 00:20:06,927
but I'm the racist!
418
00:20:06,970 --> 00:20:08,885
I'm going home.
419
00:20:08,929 --> 00:20:10,974
OK, fine, forget it.
420
00:20:11,018 --> 00:20:12,410
Yeah, I will forget it!
421
00:20:12,541 --> 00:20:14,369
And I can think whatever I want!
422
00:20:14,456 --> 00:20:15,936
OK, you're right, Tolkien.
423
00:20:16,023 --> 00:20:17,154
Yeah, I know I'm right!
424
00:20:17,241 --> 00:20:18,373
OK, that's cool.
425
00:20:18,460 --> 00:20:19,765
Have a good Thanksgiving, man.
426
00:20:19,809 --> 00:20:21,202
I will have a good Thanksgiving
427
00:20:21,245 --> 00:20:23,030
'cause I won't be listening
to your stupid bullshit!
428
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:24,640
Yep, sounds good.
429
00:20:24,770 --> 00:20:26,076
Enjoy the holidays
with your loved ones.
430
00:20:34,432 --> 00:20:36,608
Oh, God damn it.
431
00:20:36,739 --> 00:20:39,002
Yes! Race science!
432
00:20:39,133 --> 00:20:40,961
Race science!
433
00:20:44,790 --> 00:20:47,619
On behalf of the Kingdom
of Saudi Arabia
434
00:20:47,706 --> 00:20:51,623
and His Royal Highness
Mohammed bin Salman Al Saud,
435
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:54,191
this year's Turkey Trot
grand prize
436
00:20:54,278 --> 00:20:57,194
goes to the team
of South Park's very own
437
00:20:57,238 --> 00:20:58,674
Tolkien Black!
438
00:21:04,201 --> 00:21:06,421
We did it, dude.
439
00:21:06,464 --> 00:21:08,640
It's right there.
You see it?
440
00:21:08,727 --> 00:21:11,295
It's right there!
441
00:21:11,426 --> 00:21:12,993
There you go.
Almost there.
442
00:21:21,653 --> 00:21:23,655
All right, guys,
that about wraps it up.
443
00:21:23,742 --> 00:21:25,527
Let's get home
and eat some turkey.
444
00:21:25,657 --> 00:21:27,181
You son of a bitch!
445
00:21:27,224 --> 00:21:29,009
The president will come for us!
446
00:21:29,096 --> 00:21:30,967
Yeah, maybe so.
447
00:21:31,011 --> 00:21:33,448
Judge will see you Monday.
448
00:21:34,884 --> 00:21:37,234
South Park's gonna pay for this.
449
00:21:37,278 --> 00:21:39,367
They're all gonna pay.
33008
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