All language subtitles for Still Standing S02E08 Still Interfering

Okay, we'll be there. You better break
the news for the kids. Brian, Lauren,

could you come down here, please?

Let's just try and be sensitive.

What's going on?

Is everything okay?

Well, there's no easy way to say this,
so when bad news happens, you just come

on out and say it.

Kids, your mother and I are chaperoning
your school dance.

It gets worse.

It's an 80s dance.

Oh, no.

their music.

That's right, which means there's a good
chance we'll be busting some moves.

There might be some popping, almost
certainly some locking, but definitely a

of this.

They'll pull through.

With only just one look Now when the
lights go down And when it comes to

you and me, girl Ooh, you turn me inside
out I'm still in

love with you today Cause you make me
happy

Can't believe they're trusting me and
Bill to chaperone a dad.

Yeah, I guess there really is no such
thing as a permanent record.

What's the 80s? Oh, bad clothes, bad
hair.

Good times.

Bonnie, get off the phone. He's been on
for two hours. Stop bugging me. I'm

talking to my lady.

Brian, let your sister use the phone.

But Bonnie's not done telling me about
her day.

You were with her all day.

She's not in my honors classes.

I didn't mean anything by that, honey.

In five seconds, I tell her all about
your doll collection.

They're collectible figurines.

Five, four, three... I'll call you back.

Judy, someone's at the door.

You're on the couch. What did we talk
about?

I'll get it.

Hi, I'm looking for Brian Miller. Sure.

Wait, you on the football team?

Yeah. Ah, great. Now they're beating up
Brian door to door.

Hey, Chad, you ready to do this? Oh,
he's not even running away anymore.

Chad's my lab partner. Oh, cool. What
position do you play?

Linebacker. So did I.

Wait, 42, that's your number? Yeah.

42 was my old number.

Same position, same number. That's
awesome.

Yeah, there's a lot of stories that go
along with that number.

Oh, man.

42, the old quad deuce.

The year was 1981. Dad, we have a chem
lab to do.

I thought Jenna was your lab partner.

Well, uh, Bonnie wasn't too happy with
me and Jenna hanging out so much, so I

just switched lab partners.

Come on, Chad.

Hey, it was great meeting you, Mr.
Miller. Oh, pleasure was mine.

42 pride.

Did you hear that? Bonnie made him
switch lab partners? Yeah, sure. The

wants Brian all to herself. Remember
when you and I used to be all hot and

heavy? Yeah, which one were you, Bill?

The one feeling up your sister while you
were sleeping on the top bunk.

That explains so many nightmares.

Is it just me, or is Bonnie getting a
little bossy? No, you're bossy, too.

partner. She tells him what to do. She
keeps him on the phone for hours. Leave

it alone, Judy. I don't think we should
interfere in our kids' relationship.

I'm not interfering. I just think I
should say something.

Well, don't. That girl is responsible
for our son's denertification.

Six months ago, Brian was building a
robot in the garage.

Now he's going to dances and hanging
with football players.

It's not that I don't like Bonnie. It's
just I think we should teach Brian to

stand up for himself.

A robot, Judy.

A robot he named Sir Nuts and Bolts.

Stay out of it.

I don't know.

Sir Nuts and Bolts.

He knighted him, Judy, with a
lightsaber.

That's why the carbon atom combines with
the oxygen atom.

Hey, guys.

How's it going?

Fine.

You need something?

Who, me? No, no, no. I don't need
anything.

You know, while I'm here, I might as
well check your work.

Ah, chemistry.

You're a tricky, tricky lady.

Is this your yearbook? What? Oh, yeah, I
guess it is.

How did that get there?

Oh, this is embarrassing.

Try being me.

Is that you, Mr. Miller?

Oh, let's see. All -city linebacker.

Led the team in tackles.

Saddest thing I've ever seen.

Yep,

I guess it is me. Nice catch, quad
deuce.

Hey, Brian, I picked out some of your
dad's old clothes for you to wear to the

dance. Oh, good idea. Why don't you go
play dress -up with your mom?

You can sit here and relive your glory
days with Chad.

What's that? I can't hear you. It's
1981, the crowd's cheering, and you're

alive yet.

What do you think of this one?

It's great.

So, is this what they really wore in the
80s? Yeah, isn't it so totally

bitchin'? I could wear this.

I wouldn't mind being bitching.

Bitchin', honey.

Back then, we pitied the fool who didn't
know the lingo.

Oh, jump back.

Someone's at the door.

Hey, Bonnie. Hey, Mrs. Miller.

Brian, you've got to see the shirt I
picked out for you to wear to the dance.

Oh, actually, I found one I kind of
like.

Oh, let's see it.

Just try this on.

I think you're going to thank me.

Why don't you try them both on?

Okay, I'll just see which one Bonnie
likes best.

You mean you like Beth.

Uh, yeah, I'm a part of this.

So there's the quarterback right there
in front of me. I blindside him. The

goes flying. I pick it up and just start
running as fast as I can.

Did you score?

No, this was in the parking lot after
the game.

They may have won by 30, but I got the
game ball.

Is that you at the dance?

Yep. Who's this slutty girl with you?
That'd be my wife.

I'm sorry.

Why? I'm not.

You got yourself a date for the dance on
Friday?

Actually, I haven't asked anyone yet.

I'm not very good around girls.

I don't think they like me. You're a
football player. They like you. You just

gotta go for it.

See that stone -cold fox I'm married to?

How do you think I got her? My looks or
my brain?

Uh, you... Exactly.

There are certain tricks... that guys
like you and me can apply. For example,

up to any girl in the school, tell her
you're dedicating the game to her. Then

you won't just have a date for the
dance. You're guaranteed to put some

on the board.

Awesome.

Get a pencil.

I got plenty more advice for you. Trust
me. Take advantage of this now before

the 42 on your jersey becomes a 42 in
your waistband.

Uh, it's not bad, but can I wear an
undershirt? Because it kind of hurts my

nipples.

That's because you're wearing it
backwards, silly.

You know, I'm perfect. Kate's cool.

Oh, okay, okay. We're going to do this
together.

Wow. Is there a third side?

Don't you just love it, Brian?

Um... Now, before you answer, think of
it with a pair of really, really, really

skinny satin pants.

Uh... I knew you'd love it.

I don't think he's answered that yet.

Oh.

But you like it, don't you, Brian?

Yeah, it's great.

But I don't really have a pair of satin
pants.

You do now.

Come on, let's go out to the front lawn.
I'll show you how to do a real tackle.

Why don't we do this in the backyard?

with a fire dagger.

Mind if I join?

Sure. Since you've never played before,
why don't you just be a little goblin?

What just happened?

You killed me.

That was fast. Let's play again.

Listen, Brian, are you sure you want to
wear the outfit Bonnie brought you to

the dance?

Yeah, I guess. Bonnie really likes it.

Well, it's just... It's that, you know,
you're the one who's wearing it, and

since you're going with all your
friends... Oh, uh, actually, we aren't.

thinks it would be more romantic if we
just went to the dance alone. That's why

we're skipping the bonfire.

Skipping the bonfire?

It's a cool tradition that your father
and I accidentally started.

Well, Bonnie doesn't really like large
crowds or smoke or any of my friends.

Okay, look.

You know that I love Bonnie, and the
last thing I want to do is interfere,

don't you think sometimes she could be a
little bossy?

Mom, she's a female who will kiss me
who's not my aunt.

You make sacrifices.

Yeah, but if you stand up to her once in
a while, she'll like you even more.

You think so? Trust me.

You know, it might be nice to get my way
once in a while. Of course it would.

Besides, girls get tired of guys who do
everything they tell them to. Now get in

your pajamas. Time for bed.

Oh, Mom, the game's on.

Hey, Bill, what are you doing?

Oh, just looking for Chad.

Thought he'd be here by now. Coach
usually lets us out around 4 .30.

Honey, Coach let you out about 20 years
ago.

What you got there?

Oh, my old football jacket. I'm thinking
of maybe handing it down to the boy.

Why don't you just give it to Brian?

See this 42?

That's the number of things Brian's
allergic to.

On this jacket alone.

I don't know, I kind of bonded with
Chad. In fact, I've been giving him a

pointers. What pointers?

Just a few tips from the old Miller
playbook.

Huh, teaching someone else's child how
to get some. How delightfully

inappropriate.

There's nothing I didn't do myself, like
the classic dedicating a game tactic.

I think you might be familiar with that
one.

Oh, hey, when you did that back in high
school, I thought it was from the heart.

It was.

The heart of my pants.

I'm telling you, I'm going to turn this
kid into the kind of guy I was in high

school in my imagination.

Hi. Hey.

Well, I took a shot with some of the
advice you gave me about Bonnie.

Advice? I thought we weren't going to
interfere.

Brian decided on his own that he wanted
to stand up for himself more. What'd she

say?

He dumped me.

What? She dumped me. What?

Please don't make me say it again.

What was her reason?

I don't know. I could barely hear her
through all the crying.

Oh, she cried.

No.

I'll be in my room.

Poor kid.

Looks like he's really hurting.

Barney, what was she thinking?

I know what she was thinking.

I liked Brian better before his mommy
got involved.

I don't think I'm saying it, Judy. I
think the facts are saying it. What are

talking about?

Fact one, I told you not to get
involved.

Fact two, you got involved.

Fact three, our son is dumped, which
leads us to fact four and 4A. I was

you were wrong.

Guess what?

I got invited to the homecoming dance.
Oh, that's great, sweetie.

My first high school dance, and I'm
going with a football player.

Who? Brian's lab partner, Chad Kemp.

What?

I am so excited.

He's even going to dedicate a game to
me.

That would bring us to fact five, you
fact up.

So let me get this straight. You broke
up Brian with the love of his life, and

Bill taught some jock how to get lucky
with your daughter. Why don't you guys

just go for the hat trick and kill
Tina's gerbil?

He did.

Two weeks ago. But he died of a stroke.

I struck a bad luck when I sucked him up
into the vacuum.

So where's Bill now?

He's having a heart -to -heart with
Lauren upstairs.

You ruined my life!

Is he okay?

Yeah, that's just the hate talking.

What'd you tell her? I told her she
couldn't go with Chad. He's just not the

right kind of boy.

Only because you made him the wrong kind
of boy.

Well, looks like we both interfered,
huh? You interfered on purpose. I just

some inappropriate stuff and fell
backwards into a pile of crap.

From now on, we stay out of our kids'
social life. I guess.

Judy. All right, all right. We stay out
of Brian and Lauren's relationship.

Good. And Chad.

All right.

Oh, sweetie.

Honey, I heard what happened.

But trust me, the first breakup is
always the hardest.

Well, you know, two is hard because it
makes you remember the first one.

Lord knows three through five don't get
any easier. But by ten, you're dead

inside. So buckle.

Thanks. I just came down to get another
root beer. Another one? You've had five

already. Mom, it's all I have.

Brian, I'm so sorry.

It's okay, Mom.

This will give me more time to study.

Plus, I've really been neglecting my
robot.

I've never seen him like this.

But maybe it's for the best. You know,
Bonnie was becoming a little

so I told him to stand up for himself,
and he did. Yeah, you sure you didn't

tell him that because for the first time
he was listening to another woman

instead of you?

What? That's nothing to do with that. I
was just looking out for what was best

for Brian.

Oh, come on, Judy. You were awfully
upset when he chose Bonnie's shirt

of yours. It was an ugly shirt, okay?

And I didn't want some girl forcing my
little bri -bri to wear a shirt that me

and him didn't like.

Okay, do you hear yourself?

Because it sounds to me like you're
jealous of your son's girlfriend.

Oh, Paul, that is sick.

No, if you just look at the way you're
behaving, Judy, I'm not denying it. It's

just sick.

Oh, my God.

I'm a son -loving, creepy mom.

Paul, Bonnie, get her over here. Make
this thing right.

Judy, eight seconds ago, you told Bill
you were going to stay out of this.

but when something goes wrong with my
kids, I take responsibility for it.

Mommy, when's my dribble going to come
back from vacation?

Another week, sweetie.

I'm not going to hold my breath.

Hey, Lauren, do you have a minute to
talk?

Dad, giving me a Sunday is not going to
make everything okay.

Huh?

Oh, yeah, I made you a Sunday. Here you
go.

I don't want it.

Well, I tried.

I know you're angry about the dance, but
trust me, Chad is not the right guy for

you. What makes you so sure? Because
boys have a lot of crazy ideas about

and think they can take advantage of
them. I blame the media.

You know what, Dad?

Forget it. That's the spirit, pumpkin.
Let's just forget this whole thing ever

happened. That's not what I meant.

I am never going to meet a guy. I'm
never going to go out on a date. I'm

going to get married.

I might as well just become a nun.

Now you're talking.

Oh, hi, Chad.

Hey, Mr. Miller.

I'm here to work with Brian.

He's in his room, listening to chick
music, thinking of root beer.

Mr. Miller, I know you told Lauren she
can't go to the dance with me, and I

respect that.

Well, thank you.

She's a great girl, and I can understand
if you don't think I'm right for her or

something.

Oh, wait, wait. Come back.

It's not that I don't like you. It's
just that stuff I taught you the other

it was all wrong.

What are you talking about? I finally
had the confidence to ask out a girl.

Now, that part was right, but the other
stuff I told you about, you know, girl

parts and how to get at them.

To tell you the truth, I'm too shy to do
any of that stuff.

All I wanted was a date to the dance,
but...

I guess I won't go now. No, no, you
should go. You should go to the dance.

Hey, Chad, what a pleasant surprise.

What dance are you advising Chad to go
to that's none of our business, Bill?

I don't know. I'd never dream of telling
Chad where to go.

Bill, can I see you in the kitchen?

I'll get that.

Oh, no, I'll get it.

Arnie, hi. What are you doing here?

Mrs. Miller called me over here to talk.

She did?

I did.

Oh, I just may come over any time. It's
an expression.

You said 5 .30.

Another expression.

Judy, can I see you in the kitchen?

Judy, what are you doing interfering
with Bonnie again? What are you doing

interfering with Chad again? Chad just
stopped by. You, on the other hand,

called Bonnie over. Oh, flag on the
play.

Interference.

No, as a matter of fact, I was calling
her to undo my interfering because Linda

made me say that I was jealous of Bonnie
because she was dating my son.

Ew. I know.

All I was trying to do was make sure
that Chad didn't use any of my old moves

my own daughter.

I know.

So, what are we supposed to do now?

We're going in there, interfering our
asses off, making everything right, and

never doing it again, right?

Right.

So, you want to go to the bonfire?
Whatever you want to do.

What just happened?

Why is his arm around her?

pumpkin. Hi, Bri Bri.

I know it feels bad now, but remember,
when one door closes, another one opens

up.

Open up. Open up!

Bill, just pick up the rock and open the
door.

Bill! What?

You do know there's a hide -a -key in
the rock, right?

What?

popping and locking didn't mean my
shoulder popping and my back locking.

Honey, don't worry about it. We'll drop
a little Advil later.

You know, I felt a little guilty about
chaperoning a dance that Lauren and

weren't at. You think they're mad?

I don't know. They seemed pretty
miserable when we left.

Well, listen to that.

Seemed to be doing better.

Kids bounce back. All they need is a
little time to cool off.

Ultimately, they know that whatever we
do, we do because we love them.

No, no, no. I'm telling you, Mom is
truly amazing.

No. Dad blows my mind. Okay.

Look at me. I'm a big football player. I
used to be a star like a hundred years

ago.

Get away from my son. He's all mine. No
one can love but me.

I think we should punish him.

Bill, you did the worm in front of all
their friends. I think they've been

punished enough.

Mommy, where's my gerbil?

I told you, honey, he'll be back from...