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- ♪ I'm goin' downto South Park ♪
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♪ Gonna have myself a time
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00:00:12,447 --> 00:00:13,883
♪ Friendly faces
everywhere ♪
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00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:15,754
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
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00:00:15,885 --> 00:00:16,973
- ♪ I'm goin' downto South Park ♪
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00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:18,888
♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
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00:00:18,931 --> 00:00:20,672
♪ Ample parking day
or night ♪
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♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor" ♪
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- ♪ I'm headin' on downto South Park ♪
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♪ Gonna seeif I can't unwind ♪
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00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:30,291
- ♪ Come on downto South Park ♪
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♪ And meet some friendsof mine ♪
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All right, people,
it's almost Thanksgiving,
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00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:44,957
and that means the annual
Turkey Trot is nearly upon us.
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How is it that we haven't found
one sponsor
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00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:49,919
to help pay for this event?
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00:00:49,962 --> 00:00:52,574
South Park's just fallen
on hard times, Mayor.
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00:00:52,704 --> 00:00:54,358
Nobody's got the money.
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00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:57,231
Tegridy Farms used to be
a sponsor of the Turkey Trot,
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00:00:57,361 --> 00:01:00,364
but as you know, we've recently
all lost Tegridy.
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So I'm afraid
we just can't help.
22
00:01:02,671 --> 00:01:04,934
What about
the City Asian Pop Up Store?
23
00:01:04,977 --> 00:01:07,241
Can't they help sponsor
this year's race?
24
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:09,939
How City Asian Pop Up
pay for Turkey Trot?
25
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,593
We gotta pay tariff!
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00:01:11,723 --> 00:01:13,551
We more fucked than anybody!
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00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:15,771
Let's just face it, Mayor,
South Park businesses
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00:01:15,901 --> 00:01:19,079
are dying and a lot of good
people have lost their jobs.
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Trash?
Anybody got trash?
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00:01:21,951 --> 00:01:24,606
Oh, yeah, here's some.
Bank shot!
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There has to be a solution,
people.
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The Turkey Trot is
the one time of year
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this town comes together
as a community.
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We all need it now,
more than ever.
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00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:37,793
Well, of course,
there is someone
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who'd be willing to give
South Park a bunch of money.
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I mean, they're giving money
to everyone else.
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Why not us?
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My God.
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That's it!
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ANNOUNCER:This Thanksgiving morning,
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lace up for holiday funand tradition.
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It's the 28th annualSouth Park Turkey Trot.
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Sponsored by...
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Saudi Arabia!
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♪
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It's a 5K raceabsolutely stuffed
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with Thanksgiving traditions.
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♪ ♪
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And the first one acrossthe finish line
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wins their team $5,000!
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♪ ♪
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Sign up your team now!
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All ages are welcome!
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Disparaging remarks towardsthe Saudi Royal family
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are strictly prohibited.
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Start your Thanksgiving withthis time-honored tradition.
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The South Park Turkey Trot.
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$5,000, you guys.
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The winner of this year's
Turkey Trot
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gets $5,000 from Saudi Arabia.
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00:03:02,051 --> 00:03:04,401
Like, if anybody's gonna
get money from Saudi Arabia,
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it should be us.
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00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:10,146
And just one person
has to win the race
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and your whole team
gets the money?
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- Yeah!
- Dude, that is crazy!
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00:03:15,325 --> 00:03:17,153
We should just get a bunch
of kids on our team,
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00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:19,068
and then the chances of one of
us winning is way better.
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00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:21,244
Yeah, but then you gotta
split the prize money more ways.
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00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:22,811
It's true, man.
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00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:25,379
I say we keep our team to four,
five runners, max.
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Nobody said we wanted you
on the team.
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Yeah, you kinda slow us down.
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Oh, no, no, no, trust me.
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00:03:30,427 --> 00:03:32,690
You want me on the racing team.
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00:03:32,821 --> 00:03:35,519
I happen to be an expert
in race science, you guys.
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I know a way to give our team
an optimal winning advantage.
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Tolkien!
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Hey, man.
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Listen, I was, uh--
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I was just wondering whose team
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you're thinking of being on
for the big Turkey Trot.
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- Turkey Trot?
- You know, the big footrace
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Thanksgiving morning?
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First place wins 5,000 bucks
for his whole team.
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00:03:54,451 --> 00:03:57,237
Oh.
I'm not really a runner.
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00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,890
Yeah, right.
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00:03:58,977 --> 00:04:00,457
Of course you're a runner,
Tolkien.
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00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:02,590
Sorry, guys,
just give me one second.
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00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,679
- What the hell is he doing?
- I don't know.
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00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:05,897
All right, look, Tolkien,
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00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:07,725
I'm a racing science expert,
OK?
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00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:09,858
The data shows your race
always wins races.
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00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:13,296
Whoa, whoa, Tolkien.
Tolkien.
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00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:15,080
Come on, man, it's Thanksgiving.
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00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:16,430
If you don't want to race
for yourself,
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00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,736
then do it for the needy--
Kenny and Stan.
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00:04:18,867 --> 00:04:21,348
I mean, Stan's family
lost their home, dude.
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00:04:21,391 --> 00:04:23,306
Those guys could really use
the money,
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00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:25,265
and all the analytics show
that with you on the team,
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00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:26,701
we can't lose.
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00:04:26,744 --> 00:04:29,443
Could you--could you just do it
for Thanksgiving?
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00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:31,096
All right, fine.
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00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:33,011
Yes? He said yes!
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00:04:38,016 --> 00:04:40,105
Jesus Christ, Mitch.
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00:04:40,149 --> 00:04:43,239
A $5,000 prize
for the Turkey Trot?
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00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:46,024
Everyone in town is gonna want
to do this race.
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00:04:46,155 --> 00:04:48,592
I was kind of thinking of
signing the family up, sir.
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00:04:48,636 --> 00:04:50,986
We could really use some of that
Saudi Arabian dough.
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00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:52,857
Can't do it, Mitch.
We're gonna be busy on race day.
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00:04:52,944 --> 00:04:54,163
Sir!
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The White house is calling
again.
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00:04:55,686 --> 00:04:57,297
They're demanding
we release the prisoner.
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00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:58,559
Tell them we're busy.
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00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:00,038
But they said
if we don't comply,
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they're gonna send in
Pete Hegseth
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00:05:01,692 --> 00:05:03,303
and the Department of War.
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00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:05,522
Who's Pete Hegseth?
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00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:13,878
Yeah! Yeah!
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00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:17,969
Hey, what's up, guys?
This is Pete Hegseth
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00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:19,623
with the Department of War!
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00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:22,757
We're here to infiltrate this
police station and extract a POI
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'cause that's what we do!
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00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:29,764
At ease, soldier!
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00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:31,679
The President of
the United States orders you
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00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:34,595
to release custody of the
prisoner to me immediately.
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00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:40,252
I warned you
I had powerful friends.
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00:05:40,383 --> 00:05:42,820
Yeah, well, Totoro still
has to be processed
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00:05:42,951 --> 00:05:44,387
and seen by a judge.
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00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:46,302
And we have a big Turkey Trot
to deal with,
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00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,651
so it's gonna be a few days.
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00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:49,784
Hey, man, I don't think
you understand.
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00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:52,613
You're messing with
the Department of War!
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00:05:52,743 --> 00:05:54,005
And we mean business.
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00:05:54,049 --> 00:05:55,659
We don't stand down for anyone!
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00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:57,008
Be sure to like and subscribe.
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00:05:57,052 --> 00:05:58,575
All right, let's do this!
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00:06:01,404 --> 00:06:04,451
All right, I certainly don't
want to tangle with you guys.
139
00:06:04,538 --> 00:06:07,236
How about you just push
the secret button in the floor
140
00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:10,413
over here and the jail cell
doors will all open.
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00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:12,197
- The secret button?
- Yeah, it's in the floor.
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00:06:12,328 --> 00:06:13,503
Right there, you see it?
143
00:06:13,634 --> 00:06:16,245
- It's right--there it is!
- Ah, ah, ahh!
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00:06:16,332 --> 00:06:18,595
Now get your little bitch ass
out of my town.
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00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:20,249
Oh, you--
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00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,469
I dare you to do that again.
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00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:38,049
OK,
and did you already register
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00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:39,616
your racing team online?
149
00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:41,879
Yeah, it's, uh, Jimbo and Ned.
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00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:44,578
We're racing with
the Kiwanis Gun Club.
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00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:46,231
Yes, here you go.
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00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:48,059
Good luck with the race,
happy Thanksgiving,
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00:06:48,146 --> 00:06:50,671
and.
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00:06:50,801 --> 00:06:54,152
Uh, it's Mackey.
Mr. Mackey, mmkay.
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00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:56,633
OK, Mr. Mackey,
and how many on your team?
156
00:06:56,677 --> 00:06:58,940
Oh, I'm not on no team, mmkay.
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00:06:58,983 --> 00:07:02,247
I need that sweet Saudi Arabian
money all for myself.
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00:07:02,291 --> 00:07:04,162
All right, guys,
we got our racing numbers.
159
00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:05,860
Damn, dude, there's so many
people signing up.
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00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:06,948
How are we ever gonna win?
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00:07:07,078 --> 00:07:08,123
Don't worry, you guys,
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00:07:08,253 --> 00:07:09,733
I've been scoping out
the competition.
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00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:11,518
That group over there
is the Rotary Club.
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They won last year, but
they're all, like, old now.
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00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,609
Over there is
the City Pop Up team.
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00:07:15,739 --> 00:07:17,132
The race science says
they'll race smart,
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00:07:17,262 --> 00:07:18,960
but not necessarily fast,
so we're good there.
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00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:20,309
Oh, hey, Stan.
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00:07:20,352 --> 00:07:21,745
You gonna do the Turkey Trot
this year?
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00:07:21,876 --> 00:07:23,399
Yeah. You guys are too?
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00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:25,967
Hell yeah, we are!
$5,000!
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00:07:26,097 --> 00:07:27,882
Oh, yeah, I'm sure
all four of you ladies
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00:07:27,969 --> 00:07:29,971
have a really awesome chance
of winning.
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00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:32,103
There's actually five of us.
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00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:33,670
Hey, guys, what's up?
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Well, we'll see you
at the race.
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00:07:37,935 --> 00:07:39,633
All right, see ya!
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00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:42,897
They're teaching race science
to girls now?
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00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:45,029
What the hell kind of country
are we living in?
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00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:48,468
Commitment!
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00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:50,121
Strength!
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00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:53,516
The ability to obliterateour enemies!
183
00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:56,519
That is the Department of War!
184
00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:58,913
What's up, guys?
I'm Pete Hegseth.
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00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,350
We're outside
this woke liberal town
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00:08:01,393 --> 00:08:03,439
that is actually
defying our government,
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00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,659
and nobody defies
the Department of War!
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00:08:05,789 --> 00:08:08,444
Pete Hegseth will do
whatever it takes!
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00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:10,881
I'm here to kick bubblegum
and chew ass,
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00:08:10,925 --> 00:08:12,883
and I'm all outta ass.
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00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:15,364
I'll do whatever's necessary
to get the job done!
192
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,975
Oh, yeah, look at that!
193
00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:20,282
That's the President of the
United States calling me,
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00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:21,326
right now!
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00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:23,154
Yes, Mr. President?
196
00:08:23,285 --> 00:08:24,460
Hegseth!
197
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:25,983
What the fuck are you doing?
198
00:08:26,114 --> 00:08:28,029
Did you get Peter Thiel?
199
00:08:28,159 --> 00:08:30,640
No, sir, we were unable
to extract the prisoner.
200
00:08:30,771 --> 00:08:33,556
We were met with resistance from
the woke local police force.
201
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,211
God damn it,
we gave you one job to do.
202
00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:38,996
We need Peter Thiel here
at the White house.
203
00:08:39,127 --> 00:08:40,607
Sir, yes, sir!
204
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,826
I'm gonna need the full might
of the Department of War!
205
00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:45,481
I'll need all our tanks
and guns and dudes!
206
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,961
Then you've got it.
207
00:08:47,004 --> 00:08:49,746
Just get us the prisoner,
no matter what it takes!
208
00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:51,269
Hell yeah!
209
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,968
And Hegseth, don't just make
a bunch of content.
210
00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:56,710
Like, actually go
and do something.
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00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:00,931
Be sure to like
and subscribe, guys.
212
00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:03,543
Yes, sir, Mr. President!
I will make this town pay!
213
00:09:04,979 --> 00:09:07,285
God, he is such a douchebag.
214
00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:11,202
All right, men, we'll have
a full army here by tomorrow.
215
00:09:11,246 --> 00:09:13,378
And then that smalltown cop
216
00:09:13,422 --> 00:09:16,381
is gonna see
he messed with the wrong guy.
217
00:09:26,043 --> 00:09:28,263
It's the morning
of the big race,
218
00:09:28,393 --> 00:09:30,787
and all of South Park
appears to have turned out
219
00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:33,094
in the spirit of community.
220
00:09:33,224 --> 00:09:34,878
People are putting on
their numbers
221
00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:38,316
and rocking out
their festive costumes.
222
00:09:38,447 --> 00:09:40,231
I'm with Police Chief Harris,
223
00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:42,799
and Chief, your guys have been
working overtime.
224
00:09:42,843 --> 00:09:44,627
Yeah, well,
we just want to make sure
225
00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:47,195
everyone has a safe
Thanksgiving morning.
226
00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:49,806
We want people to stay hydrated
and be responsible.
227
00:09:49,893 --> 00:09:51,895
Let's have a good Turkey Trot.
228
00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:53,549
Now, of course, there's a lot
of money on the line
229
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,333
for the team of the race winner,
230
00:09:55,464 --> 00:09:58,859
and so some people
are turning to race science.
231
00:09:58,902 --> 00:10:00,338
That's right, you know,
a lot of people these days
232
00:10:00,469 --> 00:10:01,905
want to debunk science.
233
00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:03,298
You know,
vaccine's cause autism,
234
00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:05,082
jet fuel leaves chemtrails,
235
00:10:05,213 --> 00:10:07,998
but when it comes to
racing science, it's science.
236
00:10:08,129 --> 00:10:11,828
Certainly a lot of runners
hoping to cash in today,
237
00:10:11,872 --> 00:10:15,049
so may the best turkey win.
238
00:10:17,138 --> 00:10:18,574
All right,
you guys ready to run?
239
00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:20,358
We got this.
Come on, team, let's go!
240
00:10:20,489 --> 00:10:22,447
- Where's Tolkien?
- Oh, you didn't hear?
241
00:10:22,578 --> 00:10:23,753
I didn't hear what?
242
00:10:23,884 --> 00:10:24,972
Tolkien says
he's not gonna race.
243
00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,932
What do you mean
Tolkien's not going to race?
244
00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:30,891
He said because it's being
sponsored by Saudi Arabia,
245
00:10:31,021 --> 00:10:32,806
he's bowing out
for political reasons.
246
00:10:32,849 --> 00:10:35,069
- Are you fucking joking?
- No.
247
00:10:35,112 --> 00:10:37,288
God damn it, wait here!
248
00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:43,643
Welcome, everyone to the 28th
annual South Park Turkey Trot!
249
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,603
This is a wonderful turnout,
250
00:10:47,734 --> 00:10:51,259
and I'm sure you'll all help me
in thanking this year's sponsor,
251
00:10:51,389 --> 00:10:53,043
Saudi Arabia!
252
00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:01,312
Holy shit!
253
00:11:04,185 --> 00:11:07,318
Holy shit,
we've got an Antifa uprising!
254
00:11:07,362 --> 00:11:09,756
All right, Department of War,
listen up!
255
00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:12,628
The people of this town
are starting an insurrection!
256
00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:16,458
But they will not stand in
the way of us getting our man!
257
00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:20,114
Tolkien!
258
00:11:20,244 --> 00:11:21,898
Tolkien?
259
00:11:21,942 --> 00:11:22,986
Tolkien!
260
00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:29,123
Dude, what the hell are you
doing?
261
00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:30,559
Playing "Arc Raiders."
262
00:11:30,646 --> 00:11:31,778
The guys said
you're not gonna race
263
00:11:31,821 --> 00:11:33,518
because it's being sponsored
by Saudi Arabia?
264
00:11:33,649 --> 00:11:35,390
Yeah, just doesn't feel right.
265
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,261
"It doesn't feel right"?
266
00:11:37,392 --> 00:11:40,787
- Yeah, doesn't feel right.
- "It doesn't feel right"?
267
00:11:40,874 --> 00:11:42,527
What, Tolkien, you don't like
that Saudi Arabia
268
00:11:42,658 --> 00:11:43,920
is buying American stuff?
269
00:11:43,964 --> 00:11:45,661
They're trying to be
progressive, OK?
270
00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:47,750
You want them to go back
to what they were doing?
271
00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:49,883
You want Saudi Arabia to just go
back to cutting people up
272
00:11:50,013 --> 00:11:51,928
and paying Kevin Hart?
Is that what you want?
273
00:11:51,972 --> 00:11:53,364
I can't see the screen.
274
00:11:53,408 --> 00:11:54,801
Tolkien, you can't whine
about a country
275
00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:56,628
trying to come into
the 21st century.
276
00:11:56,759 --> 00:11:59,370
Them wanting to help pay
for American things is good.
277
00:11:59,414 --> 00:12:01,329
'Cause guess what?
If Saudi Arabia is out
278
00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:02,547
paying for sporting events,
279
00:12:02,591 --> 00:12:03,810
they're not out
hacking up reporters
280
00:12:03,897 --> 00:12:05,899
and inviting Pete Davidson
to come do comedy.
281
00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:16,605
All right, everyone,
on your mark...
282
00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:25,266
Get set...
283
00:12:35,015 --> 00:12:36,451
Holy shit!
284
00:12:36,581 --> 00:12:38,714
Shots fired!
Shots fired!
285
00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:42,457
Get set up over there!
We need content! Now!
286
00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:44,938
What's up, guys?
Pete Hegseth, Department of War.
287
00:12:44,981 --> 00:12:46,635
We are being fired upon!
288
00:12:46,722 --> 00:12:49,464
There's an uprising here.
Some kind of insurrection.
289
00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:51,596
Make sure to like and subscribe!
290
00:12:56,471 --> 00:12:58,212
You can hear
the liberal terrorists
291
00:12:58,299 --> 00:13:00,431
all screaming
and chanting behind us.
292
00:13:00,518 --> 00:13:01,998
We're gonna take 'em on!
293
00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:03,565
Just another day
in the Department of War!
294
00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:04,784
Let's move out!
295
00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:07,047
Did you know that since 2018,
296
00:13:07,090 --> 00:13:09,527
they actually allow women
to drive in Saudi Arabia?
297
00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:12,269
They allow women to drive!
298
00:13:12,313 --> 00:13:15,620
It's like practically a lesbian
utopia over there.
299
00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:18,101
Can you please just let me
enjoy my Thanksgiving morning?
300
00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:20,451
Oh, yeah, sure, who cares
about lesbian utopia?
301
00:13:20,495 --> 00:13:22,714
Not Tolkien.
Tolkien wants Saudi Arabia
302
00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:24,455
to just keep chopping off
gay people's heads.
303
00:13:24,499 --> 00:13:26,022
That's way better, isn't it?
304
00:13:26,109 --> 00:13:28,764
- You're being a dick, bro.
- Go away.
305
00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:32,463
All right, Tolkien,
you know what?
306
00:13:32,507 --> 00:13:34,726
Fine.
If you really don't want to be
307
00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:38,034
a part of our country embracing
Saudi Arabia's desire to change,
308
00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:39,819
then we don't need you.
309
00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:45,607
Hey!
310
00:13:46,651 --> 00:13:48,784
Hey, gimme back my Xbox!
311
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,221
Come get it, asshole!
312
00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:00,491
Come on.
313
00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:02,493
Come on,
we gotta get that money.
314
00:14:03,581 --> 00:14:05,583
The rioting terrorists
appear to be advancing
315
00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:07,281
north, northeast.
316
00:14:07,368 --> 00:14:08,978
Our plan, gentlemen,
317
00:14:09,109 --> 00:14:12,286
is to intercept them
at this location here,
318
00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:15,115
and get as much content
as we possibly can.
319
00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:18,292
It's quite possible we'll also
be needing to get content
320
00:14:18,335 --> 00:14:20,163
in this area, so be ready.
321
00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:23,253
Third Battalion,
you'll be posting up here.
322
00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:26,082
I want you posting on Instagram
and Twitter.
323
00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:27,867
Alpha Team post here.
324
00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:29,651
Bravo Team content there.
325
00:14:32,828 --> 00:14:34,656
All right, everyone, stand by.
326
00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:36,310
At ease, soldier.
327
00:14:36,353 --> 00:14:38,181
We heard there's
a civilian uprising.
328
00:14:38,225 --> 00:14:40,314
Yeah, we don't need
Homeland Security's help.
329
00:14:40,401 --> 00:14:42,098
- We got it.
- We're just here to assist
330
00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:43,360
in any way we can.
331
00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:45,319
That's what
Homeland Security does.
332
00:14:45,406 --> 00:14:47,103
Be sure to like
and subscribe, guys.
333
00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:48,931
- We've got a--
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
334
00:14:49,062 --> 00:14:50,759
This is not your content.
335
00:14:50,802 --> 00:14:53,675
Everyone like and subscribe
to Department of War!
336
00:15:04,555 --> 00:15:05,905
Come on. Come on.
337
00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:08,081
You got this. I got it.
338
00:15:15,088 --> 00:15:18,134
God damn it! Gimme my Xbox!
339
00:15:18,221 --> 00:15:21,703
Tolkien, how can you not catch
up to me?
340
00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:26,403
You're not even trying!
341
00:15:26,534 --> 00:15:27,970
I am trying!
342
00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:32,148
I told you, I'm not a runner!
343
00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:33,628
Yes, you are!
344
00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:37,023
Will you stop fucking around?
345
00:15:52,908 --> 00:15:54,605
Homeland Security
to Department of War.
346
00:15:54,692 --> 00:15:57,782
The protestors are headed
your way.
347
00:15:57,826 --> 00:15:59,610
Stand down,
Homeland Security.
348
00:15:59,741 --> 00:16:01,177
This is our content.
349
00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:02,570
There's too many of 'em!
350
00:16:14,234 --> 00:16:15,800
Here they come.
351
00:16:15,844 --> 00:16:18,412
Everyone, hold your positions!
352
00:16:18,499 --> 00:16:20,805
Department of War will not
be intimidated!
353
00:16:24,244 --> 00:16:26,115
Hold.
354
00:16:27,725 --> 00:16:29,858
Hold!
355
00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:34,602
Fire the tear gas! Yeah!
356
00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:43,263
Dude.
357
00:16:43,393 --> 00:16:44,699
Dude, which way are we
supposed to go?
358
00:16:44,829 --> 00:16:47,615
I can't--I can't see nothing.
359
00:16:51,271 --> 00:16:53,186
Tolkien? Tolkien!
360
00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:55,797
Where the hell did you go?
361
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,077
What the hell's going on?
362
00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:16,426
We don't know.
363
00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:18,037
Well, how the hell are we
supposed to race
364
00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:19,255
if they've blocked the road?
365
00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:25,740
Look, all I know is that
366
00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:28,351
the Stotch family is in big
financial trouble this year.
367
00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:30,397
We have to reach
that finish line.
368
00:17:30,527 --> 00:17:33,139
You think you fucked?
We gotta pay tariff!
369
00:17:33,226 --> 00:17:35,358
That prize money is
our only chance.
370
00:17:35,489 --> 00:17:38,013
Does anyone have
a Turkey Trot route map?
371
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,667
Yeah, I've got one here.
372
00:17:39,710 --> 00:17:40,624
All right, let's see.
373
00:17:42,931 --> 00:17:45,238
So if this area's
all blocked off,
374
00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:46,935
then our best chance
at getting to the finish line
375
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,371
is detouring through here.
376
00:17:48,502 --> 00:17:51,548
No, no, we should go this way
through the underpass.
377
00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:53,681
Are you crazy?
That's too much of a shortcut.
378
00:17:53,724 --> 00:17:55,596
We could get disqualified.
379
00:17:55,726 --> 00:17:58,947
All that matters is that
it's OK with Saudi Arabia.
380
00:17:59,034 --> 00:18:02,603
Would going this way be OK
with Saudi Arabia?
381
00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:05,997
There's no way to be sure
what Saudi Arabia wants.
382
00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:09,262
All I know is,
I need their money.
383
00:18:09,392 --> 00:18:12,743
So I'm gonna go out there
and take my chances.
384
00:18:15,833 --> 00:18:17,748
♪ ♪
385
00:18:17,879 --> 00:18:19,010
What's up, guys?
386
00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:20,490
Pete Hegseth,
Department of War.
387
00:18:20,534 --> 00:18:22,362
We've got the Narco terrorists
on the run
388
00:18:22,492 --> 00:18:23,885
and we're gonna take 'em out.
389
00:18:23,972 --> 00:18:26,322
Yeah!
390
00:18:26,366 --> 00:18:32,633
- ♪ Pete Hegseth isa fucking douche ♪
391
00:18:32,763 --> 00:18:38,595
♪ Pete Hegsethis a fucking douche ♪
392
00:18:38,726 --> 00:18:40,162
♪ Acting like a tough guy ♪
393
00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:44,732
♪ Posting itaround the world ♪
394
00:18:44,775 --> 00:18:46,212
♪ Making lots of content
395
00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:50,651
♪ Like a little teenage girl ♪
396
00:18:50,781 --> 00:18:57,440
♪ Pete Hegseth'sa fucking douche ♪
397
00:18:57,484 --> 00:19:01,531
♪ Pete Hegseth isa fucking douche ♪
398
00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:11,672
All right, buddy.
399
00:19:11,802 --> 00:19:13,413
I don't know
what you think you're doing,
400
00:19:13,456 --> 00:19:16,372
but I'm pretty sure I told you
to get the hell out of my town.
401
00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:18,461
Oh, yeah?
402
00:19:18,505 --> 00:19:20,811
Well, what do you think
you're gonna do about it?
403
00:19:23,597 --> 00:19:26,469
Hello?
404
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,384
Hello?
405
00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:29,777
Anybody?
406
00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:30,952
Give me my Xbox!
407
00:19:31,039 --> 00:19:32,345
Ah!
408
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,264
What is your problem, man?
409
00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:40,657
You could've made this
an amazing Thanksgiving.
410
00:19:40,788 --> 00:19:44,183
For Stan. For Kenny.
411
00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:46,272
But you just wanna play games.
412
00:19:46,402 --> 00:19:48,622
For the last time,
413
00:19:48,709 --> 00:19:51,494
just because I'm Black
doesn't mean I run fast!
414
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:54,105
Yes, you do.
415
00:19:54,236 --> 00:19:56,369
You just weren't trying
because you have a problem
416
00:19:56,499 --> 00:19:58,719
with Saudia Arabia joining
the global community.
417
00:19:58,849 --> 00:20:00,721
That has nothing to do
with you being a racist.
418
00:20:00,851 --> 00:20:02,201
Oh, I'm a racist?
419
00:20:02,244 --> 00:20:03,811
You want Saudi Arabia
420
00:20:03,854 --> 00:20:05,987
to just keep stuffing
journalists into suitcases,
421
00:20:06,030 --> 00:20:07,206
but I'm the racist!
422
00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:09,164
I'm going home.
423
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,253
OK, fine, forget it.
424
00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:12,689
Yeah, I will forget it!
425
00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:14,648
And I can think
whatever I want!
426
00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:16,215
OK, you're right, Tolkien.
427
00:20:16,302 --> 00:20:17,433
Yeah, I know I'm right!
428
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:18,652
OK, that's cool.
429
00:20:18,739 --> 00:20:20,044
Have a good Thanksgiving, man.
430
00:20:20,088 --> 00:20:21,481
I will have
a good Thanksgiving
431
00:20:21,524 --> 00:20:23,309
'cause I won't be listening
to your stupid bullshit!
432
00:20:23,439 --> 00:20:24,919
Yep, sounds good.
433
00:20:25,049 --> 00:20:26,355
Enjoy the holidays
with your loved ones.
434
00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:36,887
Oh, God damn it.
435
00:20:37,018 --> 00:20:39,281
Yes! Race science!
436
00:20:39,412 --> 00:20:41,240
Race science!
437
00:20:45,069 --> 00:20:47,898
On behalf of the Kingdom
of Saudi Arabia
438
00:20:47,985 --> 00:20:51,902
and His Royal Highness
Mohammed bin Salman Al Saud,
439
00:20:51,946 --> 00:20:54,470
this year's Turkey Trot
grand prize
440
00:20:54,557 --> 00:20:57,473
goes to the team
of South Park's very own
441
00:20:57,517 --> 00:20:58,953
Tolkien Black!
442
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,700
We did it, dude.
443
00:21:06,743 --> 00:21:08,919
It's right there.
You see it?
444
00:21:09,006 --> 00:21:11,574
It's right there!
445
00:21:11,705 --> 00:21:13,272
There you go.
Almost there.
446
00:21:21,932 --> 00:21:23,934
All right, guys,
that about wraps it up.
447
00:21:24,021 --> 00:21:25,806
Let's get home
and eat some turkey.
448
00:21:25,936 --> 00:21:27,460
You son of a bitch!
449
00:21:27,503 --> 00:21:29,288
The president will come for us!
450
00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:31,246
Yeah, maybe so.
451
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,727
Judge will see you Monday.
452
00:21:35,163 --> 00:21:37,513
South Park's gonna pay
for this.
453
00:21:37,557 --> 00:21:39,646
They're all gonna pay.
454
00:21:45,086 --> 00:21:51,962
♪ ♪
33691
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