Original subtitles

♪ There's 104 days of summer vacation ♪

♪ And school comes along just to end it ♪

♪ So the annual problem For our generation ♪

♪ Is finding a good way to spend it ♪

♪ Like maybe... ♪

♪ Building a rocket ♪

♪ Or fighting a mummy ♪

♪ Or climbing up The Eiffel Tower ♪

♪ Discovering something t hat doesn't exist ♪

Hey!

♪ Or giving a monkey a shower ♪

♪ Surfing tidal waves, creating nano-bots ♪

-♪ Or locating Frankenstein's brain ♪ -It's over here!

♪ Finding a dodo bird, Painting a continent ♪

-♪ Or driving our sister insane ♪ -Phineas!

♪ As you can see, there's A whole lot of stuff to do ♪

♪ Before school s tarts this fall ♪

Come on, Perry!

♪ So stick with us ♪

♪ 'Cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all ♪

♪ So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb ♪

♪ Are gonna do it all ♪

Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

We thought it only fair to warn you

that the show you're about to see may disturb you.

It may shock you.

It may even horrify you!

-[hacks] -You've been warned.

[thunderclap] [crows cawing]

♪ Duh, duh ♪

Looks like a real summer storm.

Well, our plan to stand alone in a field with a metal rod is out.

This weather isn't fit for man nor platypus.

Hey, where's Perry?

Good morning, Agent P.

The mission you are about to receive may shock you.

It may even horrify you.

But then again, probably not.

I mean, heh, you have been doing this for a while.

Anyway, sorry about the tarp behind me. Storm caused some water damage, and...

Ooh. Cheese and crackers. Late for my cousin's wedding. Better run.

Doofenshmirtz is up to something. You know what to do.

♪ Perry ♪

Hmm. I wonder where Perry goes off to.

Lost your platypus, eh?

That reminds me of a really great monster story.

-Tell us, Grandpa. -It's about Ferb's ancestor.

He was his great-great-great-great-great-

great- great-great-great-great uncle.

[Candace] Great.

It was a long time ago, back in the old country,

on a cold, moonlit night.

-[wolf howls] - [Reg] Your great uncle Ferbgor

was assisting the famous Dr. Phineastein

in the macabre task

of collecting spare parts from semi-aquatic mammals.

Hey, Ferbgor, the Monster's Ball Best Monster Contest.

A big prize goes to the best monster. Sweet.

I know what we're gonna do today.

Back at Castle Phineastein, the boys began building a monster.

[record needle scratches]

Can you at least tell a story in color, Grandpa?

Perhaps muted color would be better.

Who's telling this story, anyway?

Did I mention that the boys had a conniving

and disapproving governess named Constance?

So, anyway, Jeremiah was, like, totally checking me out when--

[clattering] Will you hold it down? I am trying to use the quill!

Isn't it beautiful, Ferbgor?

We're on the verge of bringing life to the best monster ever.

OK, let her rip.

[grunts]

It's alive!

Alive!

[laughs maniacally]

And it's really big.

How big, Grandpa?

Bigger than a refrigerator but smaller than a really big refrigerator.

♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated ♪

Don't close that door! Oh, that's just great!

The storms made my security system go all cuckoo,

and you just locked us in.

[sighs] Well, you might as well make yourself comfy,

'cause we're stuck in here till the power comes back on.

Ooh, quite a storm, huh? Reminds me of a story

Papa Doofenshmirtz used to tell me to scare me into wetting the bed.

That prankster!

It began a long time ago

with my great-great grandfather, Dr. Jekyll Doofenshmirtz.

He was obsessed with being the most evil scientist of his time.

Back then, to be considered truly evil,

you actually had to have an angry mob after you.

Your 11:00 is here.

The angry mob?

Ooh, they're early.

Show them to the parlor.

[sips]

Top of the morning, angry mob.

Let's hurry this along, Doctor.

We've got a tar-and-feathering at noon.

Yes, of course, of course.

This time I know I've created something evil enough

to warrant your full attention and anger.

The Concoction Brewinator!

A diabolical machine that produces a potion

to turn a normal man like myself

into a horrible monster!

[gulps] Now... tremble before me!

What? You're not so much trembling.

Wait, wait, wait, wait! Come back!

So you're not an angry mob right now, but...

I bet you're slightly irritated, right?

I should get points for that.

I should get points for that.

Uh, where was I? Oh, yes!

Now, the boys had a real monster on their hands,

and they had to get him ready for the big night.

[chatters]

Come on. That-a-boy. Check it out, Ferbgor.

To make sure we win that monster contest,

I taught him a few tricks.

Watch this. Play dead.

Huh? Huh?

So I said, "Oh, no, you didn't!"

[creaking] And she said-- What was that?

What's going on down there?

I will go straight to the angry mob and tell on you.

-Aha! -Oh, hi, Constance.

We're gonna enter the Best Monster Contest.

How are you gonna answer a monster contest?

-You don't even have a monster! -[chatters]

He's right behind me, isn't he?

-Yeah. -[screams]

I'm telling Mob.

[screaming]

Angry mob, come quick!

Phineastein and Ferbgor have created a giant green monster!

Didn't you tell us last week that they created a two-headed cow?

We're wasting time!

Now let's hurry before the monster gets away!

Jameson, I think I found the problem.

I had the Brewinator set to "Fairy Princess" by mistake.

You know, in hindsight, I question even including

a "Fairy Princess" setting to begin with. [whirring]

But, you know, live and learn.

Cheers.

Hmm.

Evil has an interesting flavor.

I must tell my friend, Dr. --

[grunting] [screaming]

Hmm... It actually worked.

I know! I'm just as surprised as you are!

Put her there, Jameson! Psych!

At last! A whole new world of evil has opened up to me!

You know what this calls for, don't you?

-A rampage, sir? -Exactly!

Oh, and clean your uniform.

Evil!

♪ He's public enemy number one ♪

-♪ He's an evil, evil man ♪ -That's me!

♪ He's got a diabolical sense of fun ♪

-♪ And an evil, evil plan ♪ -Well, not a plan so much.

-♪ Oh, yes, he's eviler ♪ -I'm winging it, actually.

-♪ More evil than he was before ♪ -That's right.

-♪ Yes, he's eviler ♪ -I don't think that's word.

-♪ And he's taking it door to door ♪ -Oops, gotta go.

[chuckles] Evil!

Hyah! Got your nose!

I got your... I... I... I really do have his nose.

Oops.

Heh. OK, OK. Well, we'll just put this back.

-There you go. Good as new. -[growls]

-Evil! -[roars]

Oh, great.

We really have to stop losing our monsters.

-[woman screaming] -[man] Blimey! Look what's coming!

-[all screaming] -Run!

I'm finally cured of my irrational fear

that a giant platypus will see me in my underpants.

It's even worse than I imagined!

[monster growling] Mmm...

What ya doin'?

-[screeching] -Hello? Are there any monsters in there?

-Shh. -No, I guess not.

It was right here. You have to believe me.

-A giant platypus. -[mob grumbling]

Wait. Mob, look. The Monster's Ball.

This is where they must have gone.

[Constance] Follow me!

♪ La la la la ♪ What ya doin'?

We're looking for a giant platypus monster.

Have you seen one by any chance?

Funny you should ask. We spent the entire afternoon together.

We went swimming, had a little lunch.

Did you know he eats raw snails? Ew!

I stuck to PB and J on whole wheat.

Where is he now?

He went into town to enter the Best Monster Contest.

Of course that's where he went.

What were we thinking? Come on.

Goodbye then! Tell him to save me a dance!

[waltz music playing]

[neighs]

[Dr. Phineastein] Thanks for the lift, mister. Let's go.

[chattering]

Best monster, indeed.

Wait till they get a load of pure evil!

We'll just adjust the dial, and... [gasps] You?

[growling] [chittering]

Monster fight! [laughs] [shouting]

Really, really, I don't have your nose. Wait, wait. Time out.

Allow me one little drink before we continue. I'm parched, OK?

Here, boy. I hope he hasn't gotten into any trouble.

[gulps]

Just wait till my potion kicks in, you big, dumb monst-- [gasps]

What... But I-- I thought I had it set to--

Ah ha!

And, well, I forgot exactly what happens after that.

Oh, hey, the lights. What do you know?

[groans] Oh. I've got no time for my diabolical plan now.

I've got the chiropractor at four.

Could we pick it up tomorrow at, say,

my evil scheme monologue? Good.

But, you know, I wonder who actually did win the Best Monster Contest.

Oh, there you are, platypus monster.

And to think I worried you might get into some mischief.

-[hacks] -[host] Ladies and gentlemen,

we're ready to announce the winner of the Best Monster Contest.

Hey, we're just in time.

Mob, it's here! The monster's in here!

We're coming. Don't get your knickers in a twist.

They are so busted!

Oh, refreshments!

This monster hunting is thirsty work.

[gulps]

-That's a peculiar taste. -Hey, Constance.

Oh, Jeremiah.

I can't remember a day when you looked more beautiful.

-Well, now I can. - Ladies and gentlemen,

the winner of the Best Monster Contest is...

that!

Way to go, Constance. Good show.

There it is.

Wait! No, no, no! I'm not the monster!

[Constance screams] [mob shouting]

Oh, well. Win some, lose some, boy.

You'll always be the biggest, baddest monster to us.

I see you found your giant platypus.

That's right. And we'll never lose him again.

And that is why there are pumpkins.

Um, Grandpa, you were telling us about a giant platypus monster.

Ooh, that sounds very exciting. Tell me about that.

But you were-- I mean-- I didn't-- [sighs]

I got nothing. Ferb?

Platypus monsters are the only monsters to lay eggs.

[Tour guide] Let's continue our tour.

Over here, we have the work

of the great environmental installation artist Beppo Brown.

-That's my dad. -As Django can tell you,

his father Beppo is famous for his monumentalist recreations

of everyday objects.

[Phineas] Wow, Django, it's so cool that your dad makes such huge things!

Look at that giant toothbrush. And that giant dental floss.

It's even been used.

Whoa. And how about that giant baby?

My dad didn't make that.

[chattering] Django, isn't that your dad over there?

Yeah. I'm gonna go say hi.

You're taking it too literally.

It's the juxtaposition of the doughnuts

-and the mountains that-- -Hey, Dad!

Hi, Django.

How are your friends enjoying the tour?

They love it. Wanna hang out with us?

Uh, sorry, bud, but I gotta answer a few questions for these people

and talk to them about my new project, but...

I promise I'll catch up with you

just as soon as I can.

Have fun!

OK, folks, please take some time to look at Beppo's fabulous exhibit.

Oh, and don't miss his newest addition,

"Doughnuts Over the Mountain,"

which can be seen from the viewing platform.

Cool. Let's check it out.

I'd like to see the giant mascara brush again.

-What do you say, Candace? -Where's the giant exit sign?

[sighs] I'd rather be at home with Perry.

What do you suppose Perry does when we leave him at home?

[melodramatic music playing] [man on TV] I love you, my darling.

No, I love you much more than you love me.

I hate you.

Sorry to bother you on your day off, Agent P.

[woman on TV] I love you.

I thought you hated me!

Agent P, you've got to concentrate.

It's Doofenshmirtz again.

He's expecting a visit from his old, evil science professor, Dr. Gevaarlijk.

You must get over there pronto.

Those two together are a bad combination.

Don't worry about your stories. We'll tape them for you.

♪ Perry ♪

Wow. Your dad's exhibit is really amazing.

I can see where you get your artistic talent from, Django.

Oh, I don't know, Phineas.

I made this for my dad, but it hardly compares to his stuff.

Are you kidding? This is a great painting. Your dad would love this.

But it's so small, and everything my dad makes is so big.

Why don't you just paint something bigger?

But where will we find a canvas big enough?

Look out there, Django.

Your father's display just happens to be right next to the Unpainted Desert.

And that gives me an idea.

Ferb, we're gonna need some really big art supplies.

Hey, we can use my dad's old exhibit.

He called it "Really Big Art Supplies."

♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated ♪

[doorbell]

Dr. Gevaarlijk already?

Oh! Oh, it's you, Perry the Platypus.

I don't have much time today.

You see, my old evil science professor

is visiting, and we've always had a rather strained relationship.

I think it's best expressed through song.

Tell me what you think, but no pressure.

♪ Back in class, Evil 101 ♪

♪ I always had so much fun ♪

♪ Though the one who advised me ♪

♪ Openly despised me ♪

♪ Still, I always tried to be number one ♪

♪ Well, I wanted a mentor to share my world view ♪

♪ But I got a tormentor I was hated, it's true ♪

♪ Now I have one more chance and it could mean my advancement ♪

♪ So there's only one thing I must do ♪

♪ I must impress my professor ♪

♪ He's got to make good ♪

♪ I must impress my professor ♪

♪ He's misunderstood ♪

♪ He needs validation for his evil creation ♪

♪ Like any good evil scientist would ♪

-♪ I... must... ♪ -♪ He... must... ♪

-♪ Impress my professor ♪ -♪ Impress his professor ♪

♪ To be a success ♪

♪ Or I will still be a flunky, a diploma-less monkey ♪

♪ In the eyes of this person whose opinion may worsen ♪

♪ If my evil invention's not great ♪

♪ I must impress my professor ♪

♪ Impress his professor ♪

♪ I must impress my professor ♪

♪ Impress his professor ♪

♪ I must impress my professor ♪

♪ Before it's too late ♪

[footsteps approaching] So, now you know my plan.

C-can you hold on a second? I've got to go settle up with the dancers.

OK, so you guys are all union, right?

All right, here you go. And...

Hey, you know, when I'm done with this thing,

maybe you and I could, uh...

Uh... OK, OK. I'll call you.

I think I got a shot there.

-So this is the famous Unpainted Desert. -Not for long.

[blades whirring]

Thanks, guys.

I think I can show it to my dad now.

[Phineas] It's not finished until you sign it.

[Django] You're right. We should all sign it.

[knocking] [gasps] My professor is here!

[chuckles] And now, Perry the Platypus,

you will tremble before the mighty Dr. Gevaarlijk!

[German accent] Hello, Heinz. My, look how big you've gotten.

Of course you still have that slouch.

Dr. Gevaarlijk, so good to see you.

Oh, ja, I've come all the way from Gimelschtump for chit-chat.

So, show me what you're doing.

I am sure you will be most impressed with my latest evil inventions.

-Here we have the Deflatinator. -Hmm. Did it work?

Uh, well... no, not really, but I--

Here we have the Drillinator!

Did anyone get hurt with that?

No, just-- just me. [chuckles] But, uh...

Did any of these actually work?

Oh, ha-ha! No, not really.

But follow me. I do have something even more impressive over... there.

My brand-new... Blenderinator!

Spelling doom for even the toughest of apples.

Bow down to me, Granny Smith!

Ja, I'm sure if I was a pomaceous fruit, I would be trembling.

Where is your Phone-inator? I need to call a Cab-inator.

Well, uh, it's, uh, just, uh...

Wait, wait! Don't go. Let me show you this:

my very own nemesis.

Oh, Heinz, how can he be your nemesis?

He doesn't even have a hat.

No, no. I made that mistake a couple of times, too,

but that's him, I swear!

In your letters, you said your nemesis was a suave,

semi-aquatic personification of unstoppable dynamic fury.

He is! No, you've just got to see him in action.

Here. I'll let him go.

Go ahead, Perry the Platypus. Thwart my plans.

Come on. Let me have it!

Thwart away, big guy.

-Heinz. -Get thwartin'.

He's just a platypus. They don't do much, you know?

No, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait. He's just about to do something.

Wait for it.

[chatters]

Hmm. I guess it's just a platypus.

I could have sworn that was him.

Heinz, this is just sad.

OK, one more thing. This is going to blow your socks off.

I know the boys must be around here somewhere.

Wow. What a view.

Well, may as well see what this doughnut nonsense is all about.

Wow, it's actually pretty cool.

So this over here must be the Unpainted Des--

Hey, that doesn't look unpainted to me!

Phineas and Ferb!

Ooh, busted!

♪ Busted, busted, busted ♪

♪ Busted, busted, busted ♪ Mom! Mom! Mom!

-Dad! Dad! Dad! -Doctor! Doctor! Doctor!

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout.

To honor your visit, I will blow up the moon!

Blow up the moon? But that would mean--

Yes. No more stupid songs about moons.

I do despise moon-related songs.

Continue.

It takes a lot of power,

so I can only fire it once,

but don't worry.

I have it planned down to the last-- Ow!

Oops. [chuckles]

No more songs about dams?

Oh, but I like a good toe-tapping dam song.

Mom, you've got to see this.

Well, at least she's excited about art.

Dad, you've got to see this.

Take a look at that.

-Wow. -Doughnuts over the mountain.

No, no, the other thing.

Oh, I see what you mean, Candace.

The natural beauty of the Unpainted Desert is like a work of art.

Mom, there is nothing natural about the--

[Candace] Huh?

But... but... but...

-Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad. -There you boys are.

OK, Dad, this way. It's time for your big sur... prise?

But... um...

What you got there, Django?

Well, I made this for you,

but it's kind of small compared to what you do.

It's not real art.

It's beautiful, son.

You are a real artist.

Really?

With your permission,

there's a very special place I'd like to put this.

Come on, bud.

Wow. There's no higher place of honor than the fridge.

Especially a giant fridge.

Oh, Dr. Gevaarlijk,

today was supposed to be the day that I impressed you

with the enormity of my evil schemes

and finally earn your respect.

Oh, Heinz. Evil doesn't always have to be on a big scale.

You can spread evil in the little things you do every day.

You're right.

But, sadly, you can't even do that!

You're a total failure!

You sicken me, Heinz Doofenshmirtz!

Gevaarlijk out! [slams door]

Wow. That could have gone better.

Oh, there you are, Perry the Platypus.

Oh, you... you saw that, huh?

Yes. Of course.

You think I'm evil, right?

Thank you, Perry the Platypus.

[Doofenshmirtz] Thank you.

-♪ I... must... ♪ -♪ He... must... ♪

-♪ Impress my professor ♪ -♪ Impress his professor ♪

♪ To be a success ♪

♪ Or I will still be a flunky, a diploma-less monkey ♪

♪ In the eyes of this person whose opinion may worsen ♪

♪ If my evil invention's not great ♪

♪ I must impress my professor ♪

♪ Impress his professor ♪

♪ I must impress my professor ♪

♪ Impress his professor ♪

♪ I must impress my professor before it's too late ♪