Original subtitles

♪ There's a hundred And four days of summer vacation ♪

♪ And school comes along just to end it ♪

♪ So the annual problem For our generation ♪

♪ Is finding a good way to spend it ♪

♪ Like maybe ♪

♪ Building a rocket or fighting a mummy ♪

♪ Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower ♪

♪ Discovering something That doesn't exist ♪

Hey!

♪ Or giving a monkey a shower ♪

♪ Surfing tidal waves ♪

♪ Creating nano-bots Or locating Frankenstein's brain ♪

It's over here!

♪ Finding a Dodo bird ♪

♪ Painting a continent ♪

♪ Or driving our sister insane ♪

Phineas!

♪ As you can see There's a whole lot of stuff to do ♪

♪ Before school starts this fall ♪

Come on, Perry!

♪ So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! ♪

♪ So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! ♪

Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!

["Rule, Britannia!" playing]

[Dad yawns] Merry old England.

How I love our yearly holiday to my parents' home.

[rings] Big Ben,

Buckingham Palace.

Ah, the White Cliffs of Dover.

Stonehenge.

Either I've grown a lot in the last year,

or England's gotten smaller.

[Dad] Here we are, the old homestead.

[Candace] Look. There's Grandma and Grandpa Fletcher.

-Grandpa! Grandma! -Ah! Phineas, Ferb, my boys.

Oh, Ferb.

You're looking more like your grandfather.

Just look at that resemblance.

What do you think, dear?

He's a right handsome lad, he is.

You can keep these. I've got loads of them.

Hi, Grandpa. Hi, Grandma.

Candace? Can that be you?

You look like a right beauteous princess.

-[car honking] -Thanks.

Ta-ta. We're off to the antique convention.

See you tonight.

Hey, Gramps? What's that cool castle next door?

[Grandpa] Oh, aye. That's our neighbors,

Lord and Lady Pipping.

It used to belong to the Black Knight.

The Black Knight?

Such a wonderful tale of valor.

[medieval music playing]

♪ The Black Knight Of Worcester-shire ♪

♪ Some say it's Worcester-sheer ♪

♪ Went out to fight the dragon ♪

♪ No one else would volunteer ♪

♪ The Hounds of Heck chased after him ♪

♪ Through all the moors and lands ♪

♪ Because his suit of armor ♪

♪ Was recycled dog food cans ♪

♪ The Black Knight of Worcester-sheer ♪

♪ Some say it's Worcester-shire ♪

♪ He rode off with his Hounds of Heck ♪

♪ To face the dragon's fire ♪

Here, immortalized in bronze,

is the Black Knight himself and his Hounds of Heck

on their final charge to vanquish the dragon.

And here is the disastrous results.

Legend says that the Black Knight's ghost

still haunts these foggy moors,

riding in search of the dragon,

followed by his pack of fierce hounds.

Hey! I know what we should do today.

Grandpa Fletcher!

Let's have a medieval tournament,

just like the knights did in the days of yore.

We can have jousting and catapults and not bathe!

Way ahead of you on the not-bathing.

Man, Stacy, everything here is so old, wet, and small, and--and--

[Charles] En garde, Stubbings!

Ha, ha! Come on, man!

Parry and riposte.

[laughs]

I've run you through, Stubbings.

-[laughs] -Yes. Delightful, Master Charles.

Clearly, you have mastered the rules of tennis.

Uh, Stacy, I'll call you back.

I believe it's my serve.

Oh, dear. I have punned.

[laughs]

[Phineas] Back it up. Back it up.

Good, right there.

Lumber over here, suckling pigs over there.

Hold it! That pig's barely suckling.

What do I look like, a fool?

That's what I'm talking about. Carry on.

So, you read to chop some lumber, Ferb?

Hey. Where's Perry?

[spy music playing]

[man scatting]

[Monogram] Ah, Agent P.

Sorry about the tight squeeze,

but they're on the metric system.

Doofenshmirtz is attending an evil scientists' convention in London.

We're sending you in undercover,

disguised as evil scientist Dr. Lloyd Wexler.

Who, incidentally, is the man sitting next to you.

Good luck, Agent P.

-Phineas? -Oh, hi, Candace.

What do you think you're doing?

I think I'm building a horse.

[neighs]

There's a cute boy next door,

and I don't want you guys scaring him off

by acting like complete freaks.

Beg pardon?

Hello. [giggles]

I'm Charles Pipping IV.

I'm Candace Flynn the first.

So, what's all this?

This? Uh, this is just a--

We're putting on a medieval tournament.

Medieval tournament? [chuckles]

That has to be, without a doubt, the most--

Brilliant idea I've heard in years.

Exactly! [giggles]

Because who doesn't love whatever happens at one of those...

those... things?

Want to join us?

Absolutely.

We could use my family's castle as a backdrop.

And you can be the fair princess in the tower,

waiting to be rescued by a handsome knight.

OK.

Welcome to Evil-con, Dr. Lloyd Wexler.

Hey, wait a second.

You didn't get your evil button.

Enjoy the convention, Dr. Wexler.

[Candace] As the fair princess in the tower,

I declare Sir Charles the winner of the tournament.

Wait a second.

Could this be one of those things that backfires horribly on me?

Nah.

Looks like that armor is big enough for the two of you.

That's a great idea.

Ferb, I'll take the top half

because I tend to do more of the talking,

and you take the bottom half

because of your incredibly long, willowy legs.

[Candace] Yoo-hoo! Sir Charles!

They can't even hear me up here.

Yo, Chuck! [growls]

What is going on down there?

[grunts] Oh, come on!

Hey! Guys!

I am locked in the tower!

[Phineas] That's the spirit, Candace!

You sound like a real damsel in distress!

[growls] I have got to get out of here.

Let go! Come on. Let go!

Fine. Have it your way.

Ah!

[screaming]

Ow!

[grunting]

Well, then, since you chaps are just about put together,

I think it's time I popped next door to fetch my own armor.

There's something almost disturbing about this.

-Hey, look. He's back. -[grunts]

OK, Charles. We'll help you get on your horse

and do a practice run.

[grunting]

You didn't think I'd recognize you, did you?

But I do!

You're Dr. Lloyd Wexler, my greatest hero in all of evil science.

Oh, I can't believe I'm actually talking to you!

You know, I wrote my thesis

on one of your early ransom notes.

Gee, you wouldn't mind

if I just hung around with you today, would you?

[trumpets play fanfare]

Lords and ladies of the court,

I declare that this contest is to begin.

[cheering]

Are you boys ready over there?

Ready, Ferb?

We're ready, Grandpa!

How about you, Charles?

-[grunts] -That's the spirit.

[horse neighs]

[horse neighs]

Look! Our catapult works!

[muffled screaming]

[clanking]

-[nickers] -[cheering]

Way to hang in there, Charles.

[crashes]

[grunts]

[neighs]

[cheering]

Guess we won, Ferb. Yeah!

What ho, chaps? Still up for a bit of a joust?

Your lance, Sir.

Charles? Who's that?

Perhaps it was the ghost of the Black Knight.

But I wonder where his Hounds of Heck are.

[horse neighs]

[crash]

[neighs]

[barking]

[man] It's the ghost of the Black Knight and his Hounds of Heck!

It makes me so happy to be surrounded by so much evil!

Oh, look.

It's your autobiography.

It's always been a dream of mine to have you read it to me.

Oh, wait! Wait, wait, wait.

OK. Now I'm ready.

[giggles]

Come on! Don't be shy.

Paragraph 4, "upon an evil winter's heart." go head.

Upon an evil winter's heart,

the heavy hand of regret infrequently alights the malevolent part.

Is one drawn without the cumbersome shackles

of sentimental introspec-spec-spec-spec

spec-spec-spec-spec- spec-spec-spec-spec--

Hmm. That's funny.

I don't remember you saying "spec" so many times.

Dr. Wexler! You're a platypus.

[gasps] Perry the Platypus!

I want to say that I knew it was you all along,

but I can't, because I didn't.

So now, I guess I'm supposed to surrender,

which I might do

if we weren't standing in the middle of an evil weapons expo.

[laughs]

Aha! Perry the Platypus,

your giant robot dragon

is no match for my giant robot...

Queen Elizabeth I.

Hmm. Would you mind switching robots with me?

Would you mind too terribly? Please?

Thanks!

Thank you very much.

I just prefer this one. Thanks.

Now, Perry the Platypus,

your silly, girly Queen Elizabeth I robot

is no match for my giant, fire-breathing--

Ouch! Ow! Oh, my face!

I didn't know she had laser eyes.

-I want to trade back. -Oof!

[grunts]

Well, yours may have laser eyes,

but mine breathes fi-- Ah!

[screaming continues]

That was a stupid design.

[Inauguration trumpets]

Commence with round 2!

Uh-oh. Ferb, I think we put it on sideways this time.

[crash]

It's a draw!

[cheering]

This just in.

A giant mechanical Queen Elizabeth I and a dragon

are rampaging through the country

engaged in an apparent duel to the death.

And in other news, a new version of "Jane Eyre" is in the offing.

[indistinct screaming]

Good heavens! Look at that!

They're making a new version of "Jane Eyre"!

[laughs]

Obviously, your Queen Elizabeth I is no match for my dragon!

That Queen Elizabeth is a tough old bird.

[button beeps]

[computer] Thank you for pressing the self-destruct button.

Oh, that's just great!

[computer] Thank you for pressing the ejection button.

Remember to take a parachute with you.

Now, you tell me!

[cheering]

Look, everyone, it's the ghost of the Black Knight!

I guess he's still in search of the dragon.

[computer] To order a parachute,

please call our help desk.

[crash]

Self-destruct in 3, 2, 1.

[explosion]

[Candace screams]

Hi, Charles.

Jolly good, old bean.

Ah. There you are, Perry.

Hello. We had the most amazing time.

Look! I found this 19th century barometer.

Anything interesting happen 'round here?

I hear there's a new version of "Jane Eyre" in the offing.

[Phineas] And the candidates for what awesome thing we will do today are...

our blueprint for completely food-based water park,

your schematic for the tunnel to the center of the earth,

this model for the chamber of invisibility,

your other schematic for a microscopic zoo

that rests on the head of a pin.

Gee. We sure have a lot of blueprints, models, and schematics.

Hey, Ferb, summer doesn't last forever,

and we've got too many plans for just the two of us.

We either need more days of summer, or more of us.

What's this?

The blueprints for that robot we invented.

Ferb! You're a genius!

We can make android versions of ourselves.

We can make Phinedroids and Ferbots.

Hey, where's Perry?

-[elevator music plays] -[dings]

[Santa] Ho ho hold that elevator!

[doors shut]

[bell dings]

[Monogram] Agent P.? Dr. Doofenshmirtz is up to his old tricks.

He's made 57 phone calls in the last hour.

We don't know to whom or why.

No, not to Santa.

Agent P., your mission is to find out what

Dr. Doofenshmirtz is up to and stop him.

See, Carl, that's why I don't like using the chimulator.

Besides, that guy totally owes me a pony from when I was five.

OK, Ferb. The robot building device

is almost ready to be activated.

Just a couple more commands.

OK. Pictures, please.

[computer] Phineas.

[computer beeps]

[computer] Ferb.

Phineas and Ferb.

Here we go.

[computer] Robot building sequence activated.

[beeping]

[dings]

Wow, it worked!

I'm so glad we tried out our new android-building device

instead of using that old dinosaur.

-[beeps] -[whirring]

Phinedroids and Ferbots,

we thank you for being here with us today.

Please--

Ferb, your bullhorn's not on.

Please, take a blueprint and report to the back yard immediately.

Ferb, would you do the honors?

[beeps]

♪ Phinedroids and Ferbots ♪

♪ Phinedroids and Ferbots ♪

♪ Phinedroids and Ferbots ♪

♪ Phinedroids and Ferbots ♪

♪ We're Phinedroids and Ferbots ♪

♪ And we're stomping our feet ♪

♪ To the electric, magnetic ♪

♪ Magnetical beat ♪

♪ We've got light bulbs for eyes ♪

♪ And aluminum noses ♪

♪ We're busting chilling moves ♪

♪ With our robot poses ♪

♪ Busting chillin' moves With our robot poses ♪

♪ Phinedroids and Ferbots ♪

♪ Phinedroids and Ferbots ♪

♪ Phinedroids and Ferbots, word ♪

♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! ♪

[Doofenshmirtz] Pick up the phone!

Pick up! Up! Pick up!

Pick up! Oh, why won't she pick up?

Oh. Hi, Perry the Platypus.

Thank you for using the key I gave you.

It's much more civilized than crashing through my ceiling,

Don't you think? Yes.

Anyway, I don't know why you're here,

but you can tell Monogram I'm not, you know, "up to" anything.

Anyways, all I've been doing here

is calling my new girlfriend. [chuckles]

We're having what I call a relationship bump.

And now, she won't pick up the phone.

And I'm tired of leaving messages.

I'm tired. I'm--

I've left, like, 57 messages,

and I won't leave any more.

It starts to look a little desperate.

Hmm? Oh, no. That's not an evil scheme.

That's just a giant magnet.

I'm going to wave it over my girlfriend's house

and erase all the messages I left. [chuckles]

Because some of them were really long and rambly.

I mean, I know there's an ordinance against it, but--

What? Oh, come on, Perry the Platypus.

Oh. Well, too bad for you.

Too bad you don't believe in love!

[crane engine starts]

[Doofenshmirtz] Too bad!

[Candace] I'd love to come over to watch you get your ears pierced, Stacy,

but my mom went to zippy pics

and left me in charge of my brothers.

Oh. Here they come now, Phineas and Fer--

Uh, Phineas?

[gasps] I have to call you back.

Oh, wait till mom finds out about Phineas and Ferb and--

Phineas and Ferb,

and Phineas, and Ferb,

and Phineas, Ferb,

Phineas, Ferb,

Ferbias, Phi-Ferb? [gasps]

They're my brothers, and they're robots.

They're brobots.

[screaming]

[shuts door]

[screaming continues]

[telephone dials]

What is it, Candace?

Mom, I'm in the panic room.

Phineas and Ferb and Phineas and Ferb and robots!

Invisibility chamber. Elephant!

That's nice, honey.

Well, the pictures should be ready soon,

and then I'll see the robots when I get home.

-Bye. -[cell phone beeps]

But everything will be gone by the time mom gets home.

Isn't that right, Mr. Miggins?

-Unless... -[squeaks]

Aha!

[telephone dials]

Stacy! Oh, my gosh. Guess what?

[scoffs] Stacy, I can't understand you.

Why are you crying?

Yeah. Crying, crying. It hurts. Right. Got that. Uh-huh.

Oh, hi, Mrs. Gerado.

What? Stacy got her ears pierced?

Gee, what a terrible thing

that I had completely no idea about.

Anyway, I got to run, Mrs. Gerado.

Give Stacy my best.

Poor mixed-up Stacy.

[chorus vocalizing]

Hey, bros.

How's the ol' chamber of invisibility coming along?

[beeps and whirs]

Wow! It works!

Well done.

Hey, normally, I'd be saying that to you, Ferb.

It was kind of weird saying it to a Ferbot.

Come on. Let's see how the microscopic zoo is doing.

Hey, guys. Mind if we see how things are coming along?

Hold her steady, Ferb.

-[animals calling] -[Phineas] Wow! That's amazing!

And according to this microscopic newspaper machine,

the zoo is really packing them in.

Well, I guess we can categorize this project as a success.

Hey, that is the best tunnel

to the center of the earth I've ever seen.

Boy. I bet that was fun to build.

You know, Ferb,

even though these robots were a success

and completely on model,

I kind of miss working on stuff--

You know, just you and me.

Hey, what's this? Thanks.

Hovercraft lounge chair?

We were going to build that next week.

Oh, no!

The Phinedroids and Ferbots have run out of projects,

so they're designing their own.

Have we learned nothing from Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein"?

Look! They've started their own overpriced coffee franchise.

That's so nineties.

This is terrible!

We have an entirely new problem.

The coffee's making them go haywire,

and that one's having trouble falling asleep.

[ticking]

Poor little guy.

That's it.

You guys are drinking way too much coffee.

I'm shutting her down.

[whirring and beeping]

Well, that's no good.

Time to show these robots who's in charge.

Uh, Ferb, I think they're in charge.

♪ Bow-chicka-bow-wow ♪

♪ That's what my baby says, mao, mao-- ♪

Whoop! There it is, my new girlfriend's house.

Now, I can erase all those embarrassing messages.

And then, I can start leaving new ones.

What?

[gasps] Perry the Platypus!

How did you escape my net?

It was the mouse, wasn't it?

Get out of the way, Perry the Platypus.

Don't make me drop this giant magnet on you.

Well, then, as a lazy tailor would say,

suit yourself.

But that doesn't make sense! It's the middle of July!

Ho, ho, ho! I'm on a summer run!

Farewell, Perry the Platypus!

Bah, humbug.

So, this is how it ends, Ferb,

defeated by our own doppelgangers.

If only we had some sort of device that could stop them from--

[giggles] I know. I'm just messing with you.

♪ Phinedroids and Ferbots ♪

♪ Phinedroids and Ferbots ♪

♪ Phinedroids and Ferbots ♪

♪ Phinedroids and Ferbots ♪

♪ We're Phinedroids and Ferbots ♪

♪ And we're here to stay ♪

♪ Now, our work is done ♪

♪ We're shutting down for the day-- ♪

Ugh. Eighties music is so 2002.

-[car door opens] -Mom! Mom! Mom!

Oh, hi, honey. I've got some very nice shots here.

Yeah, that's great, Mom. Check this out!

Ta-da!

That's a very nice bag of manure, Candace.

What? [screams]

Candace, you made me drop my pictures!

Maybe it's not too late.

♪ Our imagination ♪

♪ We're Phinedroids and Ferbots ♪

Mom! Mom! Mom! You've got to see this!

♪ Now, our work is done ♪

♪ We're shutting down for the day ♪

I know I've done this 19 other times,

but this time, I can say with the utmost confidence

that there are Phineas and Ferb robots in our back yard.

Yes, Candace, there are Phineas and Ferb robots in the back yard.

♪ Phinedroids and Ferbots ♪

♪ Phinedroids and Ferbots, word ♪

Who wants to see pictures?

[computer] Candace.

[beeps]

It's a Candroid.

[screaming]

Oh, give me that.