Original subtitles

♪ There's a hundred And four days of summer vacation ♪

♪ And school comes along just to end it ♪

♪ So the annual problem For our generation ♪

♪ Is finding a good way to spend it ♪

♪ Like maybe ♪

♪ Building a rocket or fighting a mummy ♪

♪ Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower ♪

♪ Discovering something That doesn't exist ♪

Hey!

♪ Or giving a monkey a shower ♪

♪ Surfing tidal waves ♪

♪ Creating nano-bots Or locating Frankenstein's brain ♪

It's over here!

♪ Finding a Dodo bird ♪

♪ Painting a continent ♪

♪ Or driving our sister insane ♪

Phineas!

♪ As you can see There's a whole lot of stuff to do ♪

♪ Before school starts this fall ♪

Come on, Perry!

♪ So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! ♪

♪ So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! ♪

Mom! Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!

I am here.

And ready to go to the world famous Cirque de Lune.

Have a seat. We're going in a minute.

OK. We're going to the circus.

We're going to the circus!

Well, hold you horses, kids. It says here

that the lead of Cirque de Lune has a severe allergy.

They're canceling today's performance.

Well, that's a bummer.

If it's anything like Candace's parsnip allergy, whew!

I don't blame him for not wanting to appear in public.

She gets blotchy, red, weird voice thingy.

Not good.

Well, honey, looks like that frees you up

to join me at the mall.

Our trio is recording our first album today

"Live at the Squat & Stitch"

Mm, hmm. Should be swingin'.

Cheer up, guys. I'm sure you'll have a fun day, anyway.

Bye kids. Be good. Have fun.

It must be so cool to be in the circus.

Yeah. Hey, Ferb!

Let's put up our own cirque!

This will be great!

Ferb can set up the tent.

I'll be the ringmaster.

We can sew up some arty costumes!

Hey, for a trick, I can put my leg over my head.

Ow! I'll work on it.

Even Perry can have an act.

The amazing Perry!

I have a mystical, magical act

I would like to perform.

It's stupefying.

I have another act. It'll bring the house down!

Ferb, get the tools!

Let's do this!

[yawns] Good morning, Jeremy.

[imitating Jeremy] Good morning, gorgeous.

Oh, Jer!

-[smooches] -[drilling]

I'll be right back, Jeremy.

What's going on?

A circus!

Can't they give me a break for one day?

This looks great, Ferb.

Hey, have you seen Perry?

I put him his costume.

Hmm. OK, Agent P.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz is buying biomechanical equipment and--

Hmm, hmm, hmm... elocution tapes.

Ha, ha!

W-We don't know why.

Where are you going Agent P?

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Don't--Don't go.

I'm not laughing at you. I just heard a funny joke earlier this morning.

Please, please, Agent P. Turn around so we can conclude our meeting.

Carl, what's your email?

-Ho, ho! Gonna send this to you. -♪ Perry ♪

Hey, twerp! I brought the props for my act.

Buford, what exactly is your act?

I fly into mud with a paper bag on my head.

OK, then.

The peeps are gonna love.

[sighs] I'm not even gonna call Mom.

Nope! Not gonna call.

[elephant roars]

[ring]

Candace, honey, listen. I can't talk. We're recording.

Is it life or death?

-Well, no-- -[Mom] Then gotta go. Bye!

Grr!

[Jeremy] Hey, Candace!

Oh! Hi, Jeremy.

My mom told me to bring over these homegrown veggies for your family.

You know, she and your mom are doing that jazz thing today.

Thanks.

So, circus, huh? Cool. Cool.

I guess it's more of a cirque than a circus. Ha, ha!

[charming music]

[Candace imitating Jeremy] Good morning, gorgeous

-Oh, he, he, he. -Don't you think?

-What? -Don't you think we should sit together

to watch the show? If you want to.

Yeah, Yeah. [coughs violently]

Uh, Candace, are you OK?

Say, are there any wild parsnips in here?

Uh, I think that's all that's in there.

[coughing] Later.

[videotape] I'm dancing with your wife, pal.

You got a problem with that?

[high pitched] I'm dancing--ahem.

[low pitched] I'm dancing with your wife, pal.

You got a problem with that?

Oh, yes, that does sound tough.

[videotape] Yeah, I ate your last nectarine.

You gotta problem with that?

-Yes, I-- -[rumbling]

[coughing]

Perry the Platypus, look, could you just use the front door from now on?

Could you just do that for me?

I mean--ahem.

[low pitch] Yes, I ate your last nectarine.

You got a problem with that?

Sounds tough, huh?

But not tough enough!

You see, ever since I was a child,

I had a high squeaky voice.

But not anymore.

Behold, the voiceanator!

It biomechanically transforms normal air into doofilium

which will make everyone else's voice higher

making my voice deeper by comparison.

I was going to lower my own voice

but, you know, it seemed like too much trouble.

[Doofenshmirtz] Oh, come on!

Of course, it had to be wild parsnips!

Allergy pills! Allergy pills!

Aha! Quick, before my voice goes through the reaction!

[deep voice] No!

[Mindy] Hey, Jeremy, you want to sit together at the show?

No, no! Mindy can't sit with Jeremy!

Gotta stop this. Gotta tell mom!

Can't go out looking like this!

So, how about us sitting together?

Excuse me.

Oh, it's good, bro.

Thanks, but I promised Candace.

♪ Agent P. ♪

[Phineas] We're moments away from "Ferb and the amazing Perry".

Hey, Ferb, you guys are up next.

Where's Perry? Oh, there you are.

And now for my final trick, I will reattach my thumb.

Feel the rhythm, feel the rhyme,

come on thumb, it's healing time.

[Phineas] Let's hear it for Baljeet the stupefying!

But now...

prepare to be astounded

when the amazing, semi-aquatic Perry,

aided by Ferb,

attempts to jump through that hoop

into the shallow pond!

[audience gasps]

[Phineas]Yeah, let's hear it for the amazing, semi-aquatic Perry!

Psst. Mom.

Candace, have you been near the wild parsnips again?

Yes, but you gotta see what Phineas and Ferb are doing!

What is it now?

Those boys are always up to something.

And it's bringing me to tears 'cause just before you get home,

it always just magically disappears.

Those boys are evil.

-[blues music] -♪ But before you get home ♪

♪ They somehow always clean up the mess ♪

Testify, Candace, testify!

♪ Those boys are evil ♪

♪ Let me spell it out for you, Mom ♪

♪ E-v-i-l b-o-y-s ♪

♪ They built a roller coaster ♪

♪ And a beach in the backyard ♪

♪ Drove cattle through the city And messed up the boulevard ♪

♪ They took me back in time ♪

♪ When we went to that museum ♪

♪ They built 50-foot tree house robots ♪

♪ But still you didn't see 'em ♪

♪ Those boys are evil ♪

♪ Their crazy shenanigans cause Me all kinds of distress ♪

♪ Those boys are evil ♪ Sing it with me!

♪ E-v-i-l b-o-y-s ♪

♪ I know you think they're saints ♪

♪ But, Mom, I'm here to tell ♪

♪ Those b-o-y-s, they're just e-v-i-l ♪

♪ Those boys are evil ♪

♪ They're making me feel like My head's in a hydraulic press ♪

♪ And that don't feel too good ♪

♪ Those boys are evil ♪ Everybody!

♪ E-v-i-l b-o-y-s ♪

♪ That's what I'm talking about ♪

♪ E-v-i-l b-o-y-s ♪

♪ That's right, those boys are ♪

♪ Evil little boys! ♪

OK, Mom. So you gonna come home with me?

Are you kidding, hon? Let's do another!

Argh!

Perry the Platypus! But you are too late.

Wait! Wait, don't touch that!

Stop it! Stop it! Stop it, I told you!

Ha ha, stop it! Stop it!

I said keep your hands off of that.

Hey, I got my costume all set.

Be sure to introduce me as The Amazing Bag-o.

You know, we've been thinking about your act

and I have some suggestions.

Modify your torque and reverse the angle of trajectory.

I still get to land in the mud, right?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I want the mud.

[cheering]

[Phineas] Thank you, Jango, the human pretzel.

[moans]

That's gotta hurt.

And now, our next act will catapult through the heavens

and land in a pit filled with the mysterious Aztec mud of doom.

-[audience gasps] -[dramatic music]

[cheering]

Jeremy! Jeremy! Jeremy!

[Candace gasps]

He saved me a seat.

I give you the Amazing Bag-o!

Ta da!

-Hey! -Guys, cut it out. Let go!

That dude's stealing my act.

[groans]

Ah!

[whistles]

Hmm. He must have been lighter than we calculated.

No! No! This is Buford's moment to shine.

Hey, everybody, over here!

[cheering]

Wait, how did he get down there?

Perhaps, Buford truly is amazing.

Whoa!

Oh, great. Now this thing's broken.

And, now, ladies and gentlemen

[high pitch] I give you our entire cast

in our grand finale, featuring the amazing Perry!

[music building up]

[Doofenshmirtz] Curse you, Perry the Platypus!

Whoa! Thanks, Phineas!

I thought your cirque was awesome, Phineas.

That was the best circus I've ever been to.

Hi, guys.

Mom, Dad. You missed our cirque.

Well, it sure looks like you had fun.

[growls]

-Who wants to hear my CD? -Oh! I do!

[Dad] All right, come on.

Cool.

Ugh, ugh, ugh.

Oh, well, at least I'm back to normal.

Hey, Candace.

My mom played me some of their CD.

Your singing is awesome.

How'd you get your voice to sound like that?

Oh, same as all the great blues singers...

Wild parsnips.

♪ Do, do, do, do, do ♪

♪ Shimmy Jimmy ♪

♪ He can climb up a tree in nothing flat ♪

♪ Grab a ripe coconut And shimmy right back ♪

♪ He's a real wild monkey He can swing and dance ♪

♪ Better watch what he's throwing ♪

♪ He ain't wearing no pants ♪

♪ Shimmy Jimmy ♪

♪ Uh, uh, uh, uh, ah! ♪

-♪ Shimmy Jimmy ♪ -♪ Uh, uh, uh, uh, ah! ♪

♪ Man, this monkey is The coolest toy around ♪

♪ Do, do, do, do ♪

-♪ Shimmy Jimmy ♪ -Another gem from the Har d Har toymakers.

[hyena laughs]

There, you see? It sells itself.

Shimmy Jimmy is our number 1 toy.

I hope you are ready to face some customers, Candace.

You can depend on me.

[cell phone rings]

Hi, Stacy. Yeah, it's so cool.

The first day of my first job.

And the best part is,

Jeremy works right across the aisle.

I could watch him make hot dogs all day.

Any moment now,

Jeremy will look over and notice how cute I look.

[store owner] Candace, you're not wearing your Shimmy Jimmy hat.

-Candace, is that you? -Ah!

Candace, look. You have your first customers.

Oh, and don't forget to do the laugh.

-[store owner] Go on. -Welcome to the Har d Har toy store.

"Ha ha ha ha".

Oh, Honey, I'm so proud of you.

I'm just going to leave the boys here to browse

while I make some exchanges.

Back in a bit, working girl.

Could we hear the laugh again?

-Don't bug me, you insects. -[store manager] Ahem!

Candace.

Let me introduce you boys to Shimmy Jimmy,

the must-have toy of the century.

It's totally awesome.

Seems like that would get old real quick.

Oh, like you geniuses can make a better toy.

I know what we're doing today.

OK, then, what we need is a toy so stupidly simple...

[drilling]

so basically bland...

[jackhammer]

so idiotically uncomplicated...

[splash]

That it can do absolutely anything.

[flaring]

Hmm. Say, where's Perry?

[whistles]

What do ya' got?

Ah, there you are, Agent P.

We suspect that your nemesis, Dr. Doofenshmirtz,

has been pilfering bricks from buildings

across the Tri-State Area.

Animals are rioting,

convicts are escaping from the zoo. It's chaos!

You've got to stop him, Perry,

before it all falls down.

♪ Perry ♪

[man] As you can see, our sales have plummeted.

Kids just aren't interested in climbing toys anymore.

Ye-Yeah, but we've always made climbing toys.

I mean, who could forget Climbin' Simon?

What about Ascendin' Brendan?

And then of course there's Ladder Man Larry.

Or that classic, Climby Jaime.

-Stop it! -Ow!

What we need is a fresh, new toy.

Greetings movers and shakers.

I'm Phineas and that's Ferb.

And do we have a toy for you.

Hold on there.

Aren't you a bit young to be toy designers.

Well, I don't think so.

And now, it's fresh. It's new.

It's incredibly hip.

Soon to be the biggest hit of the new toy season,

Perry... the Platypus.

Uh, what does it do?

That's the beauty part. It does absolutely nothing.

Now it can be anything we want.

Like an airplane or a race car.

Or maybe a bucking bronco.

You can even turn a mean tango.

-[tango music] -♪ Bum, bum, bum, bum ♪

-♪ Da, da, da ♪ -[CEO] Just a minute!

We could promise the moon without really promising anything.

[laughs]

I love it!

[woman] I loved it from the beginning, even before I heard it.

Are you all crazy?!

It's just a thick, stupid block of wood.

And it doesn't do any--ah!

-[splash] -[lion roaring]

I love it! What are we talking about?

Glad we're all on the same page.

Phineas, Ferb, we're going to produce your toy that does nothing.

I'll put both of you in charge

and double your salaries. What do you say?

Actually, we've never made a salary.

Well, then I'll triple it.

Here's the factory, boys.

This is where it all happens.

[Phineas] Wow!

Somehow I never pictured a toy factory as being this...

boring.

Time for a makeover.

Boys, I got an angle on our new toy you are going to love.

"Perry the Atomic Super Platypus!"

He's just a platypus.

Right. Got it. Just a platypus.

You're gonna flip for this.

Are you ready for...

"The Mad Marauding Marsupial of Death!"

He's just a platypus.

I don't get why we have to wear these silly outfits.

I like it. It gives me purpose.

Huh? This is a toy factory.

How'd this chocolate river get here?

♪ Badinka dink, badinka dink ♪

Who the heck are you, guys?

We are the Badinka dinks.

You set us free when you remodeled the factory.

We've been trapped in the basement for years

making foam peanuts and snipping the tabs off of plastic.

[together] We will now lay waste to the surface dwellers!

OK, then. Carry on.

This one is dynamite!

"Secret Agent Perry the Platypus," huh?

Do you have anything else?

Uh, no. No, I don't.

"Perry the Platypus Inaction Figure. It does nothing."

That's it!

♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Annex ♪

[evil laughter]

Well, if it isn't Perry the Platypus.

You've arrived precisely on cue.

Allow me to explain.

Voila! A precise 1/100th scale replica of the Tri-State Area!

You'd be surprised how much free time I have.

Now with all the bricks that I've--he, he--collected,

I'll construct the great wall of the Tri-State Area!

Thereby cutting off the citizens from the rest of the world.

[evil laugther]

And how do people get in and out of the city, you ask?

With this official Doofenshmirtz approved toll booth!

I haven't really worked out a price point yet.

But it won't be cheap, I can tell you that.

I want the green one.

Here you go, little angel.

Yay! My own inaction figure!

-Candace, come on out! -You're kidding, right?

Fantastic! You look like number one.

-I feel like number two. -That's the spirit!

Now, go out there and bring us some customers.

Oh! This is so embarrassing!

I'm just so glad that Jeremy's on break.

If he saw me in this thing, I think I'd plodz.

Excuse me, sir?

Oh, Candace?

Wow, in that outfit, I couldn't even tell you were a girl.

[laughs apathetically]

See you later, Candace.

This isn't worth $3.50 an hour.

I'm here, live with Phineas and Ferb,

creators of the international toy phenomenon,

Perry the Platypus inaction figure.

[disclaimer voice] Exotic backgrounds not included.

Simply amazing!

What was your inspiration?

Well, we have a pet platypus named Perry.

Oh, hi, Candace! Nice suit!

Now, as I was saying, he's a platypus.

He doesn't do much.

Oh, I should've known those two were behind this.

Time to call Mom.

-[cell phone rings] -[Mom] What is it, Candace?

[Candace chirping through phone]

OK, Candace. Calm down.

I'll come by and see you as soon as I'm done with the exchanges.

Perry the platypus, how did you escape?

Hmm, I probably should have used cement.

Ah, no matter. You'll never catch me!

[scoffs]

You can't stop me, Perry the Platypus.

You couldn't stop me with a billion Perry the Platypuses!

Because I am unstoppab--ah!

Ha, ha! Finally, I lost you, Perry the platypus.

I am free of you! Whoa! Ahh!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Get 'em off of me! Get 'em off of me! Get 'em off of me!

[yells histerically]

So, did you see the game on Saturday?

Yeah, real nail biter.

Shoo! Shoo! Go away!

Now, that was just disturbing.

[screams histerically]

♪ Agent P. ♪

So, Ferb, I think the sales projections are--

Hey, people, I thought we agreed we weren't going to do this.

How many times do I have to say it?

He's a platypus. They don't do anything.

[Doofenschmirtz] Curse you, Perry the Platypus!

[Doofenschmirtz] Wait! Wait! Where are we going?

Is that seawater I smell?

I hope I'm not on a boat, 'cause I get seasick.

So, how does everyone like my new suit?

[everyone] Excellent! Fantastic!

You look really good!

Um, that man isn't wearing any clothes.

There you are, Phineas and what's-his-name!

Perry the Platypus is a smashing hit.

So what's your next big idea?

We're going home.

Bu--Bu--Bu--But why?

You're at the top of your game.

You've got your whole career ahead of you.

It's suppertime. Mom's making fried chicken.

But thanks for a great day.

Oh, that's just great.

Any of the rest of you geniuses have an idea?

I found this in my office with a pile of shattered glass, J.B.

What's this? A brick?

That's brilliant!

♪ Brick, brick, brick, brick ♪

It's fun.

Now, who would buy a brick for a toy?

It does absolutely nothing.

♪ Brick, brick, brick, brick Brick, brick, brick ♪

It's fun.

-Sweet! -They have it!

Oh, wow! They've got the brick!

These brick toys are selling like pancakes.

-[children screaming] -Candace, keep up the great work!

One at a time! One at a time!

You'll get your bricks!

Hey, Candace! The things they make us wear, huh?

At least you don't have a weenie on your head.

[sigh] He understands me.

-[kids] Bricks! Bricks! -♪ Bricks, bricks, bricks,bricks, bricks ♪

It's fun!