Original subtitles

♪ There's a hundred And four days of summer vacation ♪

♪ And school comes along just to end it ♪

♪ So the annual problem For our generation ♪

♪ Is finding a good way to spend it ♪

♪ Like maybe ♪

♪ Building a rocket or fighting a mummy ♪

♪ Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower ♪

♪ Discovering something That doesn't exist ♪

Hey!

♪ Or giving a monkey a shower ♪

♪ Surfing tidal waves ♪

♪ Creating nano-bots Or locating Frankenstein's brain ♪

It's over here!

♪ Finding a Dodo bird ♪

♪ Painting a continent ♪

♪ Or driving our sister insane ♪

Phineas!

♪ As you can see There's a whole lot of stuff to do ♪

♪ Before school starts this fall ♪

Come on, Perry!

♪ So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! ♪

♪ So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! ♪

Mom, Phineas, and Ferb are making a title sequence!

Hey look, kids, these fossils are of creatures that lived right here

in Danville millions of years ago.

Lucky these things aren't still here today.

No. Lucky would be if we weren't still here today.

Oh, look. This T-Rex footprint was found

not 30 yards from this very spot!

Hey, and it says here that this fossil was dug up

right near our very own neighborhood.

Didn't we have a dog named Bucky

who got sick and lived on kindly old man Simmons' farm?

Oh... let's move on, shall we?

This next exhibit is kindly old man Simmons--

Hey! Who's up for milkshakes?

Hmm?

[Phineas] Gadgets through the Ages.

This exhibit was made for us, Ferb. Hey, what are all those people looking at?

And this is one of our most curious pieces

a time machine made by a 19th-century scientist

named Xavier Onassis.

But of course we know he never finished it,

or else we'd still see him here today.

[laughing] Right? Right? Huh? Anyone?

All right. Moving on.

A time machine, huh? Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today.

Right! Let's fix us a time machine. Hey, where's Perry?

Uh, Agent P. Hey, it's me, Carl, the Intern.

We got a bit of a situation here.

Major Monogram has been frozen like this pretty much all day.

Solid as a rock. Oh, sorry. Any-who, if the Major were able to,

I'm sure he'd say, Well, "ouch" first of all. Am I right?

[laughing]

But seriously, I'm sure he'd say Doofenshmirtz was up to something,

and you should get to the bottom of it. Am I right? Sir?

-[indistinct mumbling] -I'm gonna take that as a "yes."

Good luck, Agent P.

And this fossil is the only representation of the glichiolous species

from the Jurassic era. How exciting!

[growling] Ah, why do I have to endure this suffering

while Phineas and Ferb are off who knows where doing who knows--

-Ah! What are you doing? -Fixing a time machine.

[gasp] You broke the exhibit? I'm telling Mom!

What are you going? [gasp] You broke the exhibit!

-I'm telling Mom! -Cool.

-Hi, guys. Whatcha doing? -We're fixing this time machine.

-Isn't that kind of impossible? -That's a possibility.

Well, good luck! My troop and I are going to the local fossils exhibit.

-Catch up with you later. -Bye.

♪ Doofanshmirtz Evil Incorporated ♪

Oh! Take that! And that!

Perry the Platypus, I uh--

There's no one else here. I mean, what are you doing here, Perry the Platypus?

[knob jostling]

Eh. I have mice?

[mumbling] I wouldn't go in there if I were you!

Perry the Platypus, I swear I've never seen

this secret agent-looking panda before.

[laughing] Well, there's a panda in my closet and a panda paw print

on my cheek. But it's not what you think! We're not enemies. We're--

We're just bad friends.

Mom, Mom! Evidence!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, there little missy. There's no yelling.

-Didn't you see the sign? -Oh, that's right. It's a museum.

I wouldn't want to wake anyone up!

-You got tossed out, too. Huh? -Yeah. For yelling.

You yelled in the museum? That is hardcore.

-Why' d you get thrown out? -Stole a pterodactyl.

-It's not like I yelled. -You gotta help me sneak back in!

-Please! Please! Please! -Whoa. Whoa. OK.

I've got a plan so ingenious

It involves military-like stealth, precision, and timing.

-[yelling] -We got us a yeller in quadrant 6!

[register rings]

-Hi--Hi, Jeremy. -Oh, hey, Candace.

-They have a Slushy-dog here. -Yeah. It's new. I'm so bored.

Feels like by the time my shift is over, I'll be a part of the fossil exhibit.

[laughing] Part of the fossil exhibit! That's a good one!

[laughing] Oops, gotta go!

That was close.

OK, Ferb. We're ready to test the circuit quanta stabilizers.

Testing.

-Mom! -Did you hear something?

[laughing] Part of the fossil exhibit! That's a good one!

-[laughing] -Yeah. Um, where'd you run off to?

What do you mean? I didn't go anywhere.

Right.

Testing two.

So, can I get you something?

[laughing] Part of the fossil exhibit! That's a good one!

We are a go on three.

Hi, Jeremy.

Candace, you're really kinda freaking me out.

Say, aren't you a little young to be working in a museum?

Yes. Yes, I am.

Well, it's nice to see young people taking an interest in history.

Can I get you, boys, anything? Anything at all?

Actually there seems to be a piece missing.

It looks sorta like this. Have you seen it?

Mm. Looks familiar? I'll keep my eye out for it.

Sorry, Perry the Platypus, I didn't want you to find out this way.

OK. Here it is. Peter the Panda is my new nemesis.

We met at an evil genius expo in Seattle, and, well, me and Peter, we just

instantly disliked each other.

And he foiled a little evil scheme of mine.

I didn't plan it that way. It just happened.

Peter the Panda, be a dear and go get us a soda.

It's not that I don't hate you anymore. I do! But, look, I--

I just think it's time for us to, you know, take a break

and start fighting other people.

Thank you, Peter the Panda.

I'd offer you one, Perry the Platypus, but I think it's better if we just have

a clean break. Don't you?

So, where was I? Oh, yes!

So, Peter the Panda, you think you have outwitted me!

Perry the Platypus, you're making this harder than it needs to be.

Go on. It's over now. Oh, that? That's a Freezanator ray.

But I don't want to explain it again. I just gave the whole spiel to Peter.

But don't worry. He's stopping me. He's got it well in hand.

Goodbye.

[Doofenshmirtz] Curse you, Peter the Panda!

-Ah! -Ah!

-Ah! -You! I thought I tossed you out!

Hey, what's this? Stealing part of a display is very serious.

Almost yelling serious.

And last but circuitly not least. [laughing]

-Huh? -Mom!

Can I get you, boys, anything? Anything at all?

Well, uh, yeah. Like I said before, we seem to be missing this piece.

Mm. Looks familiar. I'll keep my eye out for it.

-Ah! There it is! -Cool. Thanks.

♪ Without your schemes My life, it seems ♪

♪ Is empty ♪

♪ I spent all my time keeping You from doing wrong ♪

♪ You were my only nemesis ♪

♪ I'd foil your plans, but still I miss ♪

♪ The moments when we didn't get along ♪

♪ So search your heart please, Dr. D. ♪

♪ And I am sure that you will see ♪

♪ That you were always meant to be ♪

♪ My only life-long enemy ♪

♪ But now you're doing battle ♪

♪ With a panda from Seattle ♪

♪ I'll miss the moments When we didn't get along ♪

[piano playing]

Darling, could I have $5.00 for the audio tour?

Sure. Amateurs...

Mom! Phineas and Ferb are in the "Gadgets through The Ages" exhibit.

And they're doing something to this chair thing.

And Ferb is using that hose thingy that makes sparks.

And he's wearing that mask that goes like this

and you have to come with me right now! Please! Please! Please! Please! Please!

Well, if it's that important to you.

Really? Did I ever tell you how much I love you?

They're this way!

Hurry! Hurry! They're in here!

Ferb, you got that thing working yet?

Gotcha! You guys are so busted.

Candace, how am I supposed to keep up? Candace?

-Well, it's working now. -What? What's working?

Lololo!

Take me home! Take me home! Take me home! Take me home!

-Take me home! Take me home! -Sure, Candace. No problem.

This could be a problem.

Whatever you do, keep your voices low, and no sudden movements.

[screaming]

Wow, it worked! Let's go save Candace. Follow that T-Rex!

Wait. We don't have helmets.

[screaming]

Ah!

[man] We hope you enjoyed your audio tour of fossils.

[dramatic music]

If you'd like to take the tour again, just flip the tape.

I can do that? Hey, I don't remember seeing this part.

[laughing] Well, that looks just like Candace.

Hey, honey, you've gotta see this.

Look, I'm telling you. It's the most peculiar thing I've ever seen.

It looks just like Candace.

Mm. That's not very nice, dear.

I'll hide in the brush!

-Ah! -Ah!

[all screaming]

[T-Rex roaring]

[screaming]

Hey, Candace, what are you doing?

I'm running for my life. What does it look like?

Well, hop on! Hit it, Ferb!

-Fantastic motoring, Ferb. -Why am I wearing a turtle on my head?

Ah!

Hey, what a stroke of luck! Look!

-[Candace] And how is this better? -[Phineas] This one's a vegetarian.

So it's not going to eat us?

-Nope. -Woo-hoo.

[Phineas] Excuse me, yoo-hoo. Down here.

Hey, we're made of meat, ma'am.

Thanks.

Wow. Isn't this amazing?

You guys better figure out a way to get us home.

'Cause if we don't get home, I can't bust you for this!

Hey, that looks familiar. You guys, come here.

-Anyone recognize that bad boy? -Uh, that looks like a footprint

from the beast that tried to eat me alive.

And it happens to be the very same footprint that's fossilized in the museum.

Great! But how does that help us get out of prehistoric times?

Watch and learn.

It looks like a t-Rex footprint to me.

Hey, look. A message.

"Time machine destroyed. Stuck in 300 million BC. Please help!

Signed Phineas, Ferb,

...and Candace."

Our friends need our help.

Please turn to the time travel section of your fireside girls handbook.

Hey, has anyone seen Perry?

♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated ♪

Ah! Ow! Easy! Easy! You're tearing it.

Oh. I remember when this picture was taken.

[Doofenshmirtz] It was the happiest day of my life.

It was the day I decided to get my picture taken.

But it wasn't till I got outside the photo store

that my life changed forever.

I had a feeling that there was someone hiding behind the mailbox.

I had a nemesis.

♪ My neme neme, oh, my neme neme neme ♪

♪ My neme neme, oh, my neme neme neme ♪

♪ I used to sit alone doing evil all day ♪

♪ But now I think that someone's gonna Get in my way ♪

♪ Yeah, there's someone in my life ♪

♪ That doesn't want me to exist ♪

♪ My neme neme, oh, my neme neme neme ♪

♪ And I feel fine Because I got a nemesis ♪

♪ My neme neme, oh, my neme neme neme ♪

♪ My neme neme, oh, my neme neme neme ♪

♪ Now I hate him, and he hates me ♪

♪ What a wonderful animosity ♪

♪ Besides his hat he wears no clothes ♪

♪ Now I have someone to oppose ♪

♪ Yes, I have a nemesis ♪

♪ My neme neme, oh, my neme neme neme My neme neme, oh, my neme neme neme ♪

I forgot what comes after the bridge. Peter the Panda, what are you doing?

You're disassembling my freezanator ray? What? While I'm singing about my feelings?

You, you're dead to me! You're dead to me!

All right, team, that should do it.

Pile in. OK, let her rip!

Hold it! I think I know what the problem is.

-It says tie machine. He left off the "m." -Oh!

[man] Today on Dr. Feelbetter I want to be your nemesis again.

And now Dr. Feelbetter.

You ever wonder what would happen if you lost your nemesis?

Well that's precisely what happened to our first guest, Perry the Platypus.

Perry the Platypus, share with us your thoughts.

Uh, I'm sorry. He doesn't actually talk.

Ah, I see. And this communication issue is what led you

to replace Perry the Platypus?

No. Of course not.

Peter the Panda doesn't talk either. He's a panda bear.

I see. Because he's an animal, he doesn't talk.

Of course not! What kind of an evil scientist are you?

Right. Doctor, what if I were to tell you

Peter the Panda is backstage right now.

What? Peter the Panda is here?

[audience] Oh!

-Perry the Platypus, I had no idea. -Ladies and gentlemen, Peter the Panda.

[booing]

[groaning] I can't believe I'm just stuck here!

I can't believe I'll never get to get my driver's license.

Or--Or wear my dream dress to the prom!

But most of all, I can't believe I'll never see Jeremy again.

How long are we supposed to just sit here?

I don't know.

Ferb and I have decided to use this time as an opportunity to practice patience.

Lovely. Well, I suppose things can't get any worse.

Oh, look, the world's first bad hair day.

[T-Rex roaring]

So Phineas, where's the rescue party you sent for?

Hmm. It just occurred to me that I may have misspelled time machine

on the plans.

Well I hope that's not going to be an issue.

Apparently not.

-Hi guys. Whatcha doing? -Just waiting for you. Hop in, guys.

We're saved!

-You know, there's an "m" in time machine. -Yeah. Sorry. Take it away, Ferb.

You mean to tell me you built a time machine that has to be plugged in!

-Oh, put a sock in it! -Candace, no sudden movements.

What does it matter? We're all doomed anyway.

I mean, where are we supposed to find electricity in Dinosaur Land?

[man] The museum will be closing in 10 minutes.

-[cheering] -That was awesome!

Boy, that was a close one. Lucky for them I was there,

or we'd still be trying to escape that-- T-Rex!

Thank you, Peter. I've been meaning to stack those chairs.

Dr. Doofaschmirtz, tell Perry the Platypus how you feel.

Perry the Platypus, I'm so sorry I hurt you--

when I wasn't actually trying to hurt you.

If you'll give me another chance, I promise to hurt you in the right way.

With cartoonish physical violence and elaborate traps,

constructed out of strange things I've purchased over the Internet.

-What do you say? -[audience] Oh!

Well, what do you say, Perry the Platypus?

[audience] Oh.

Oh, thank you, Perry the Platypus. Ah.

Now [laughing] I can't believe that worked!

You know, Peter the Panda thought he had disassembled my freezanator ray.

But that was just a decoy! Bring in the real one, boys!

You see, my plan was simple, assemble all the best secret agents in one room

and then turn them all into statues for my giant chessboard!

[laughing] Hit it!

Ah!

Mom, Dad, don't go in there! There's a live tyrannosaur.

Ha. She's got your imagination, hon.

Uh, Peter the Platypus, you don't mind if I say goodbye to Peter the Panda,

do you? I just feel weird how everything happened.

Peter the Panda, I just wanted to let you know that I feel--

Ugh!

Well, how about we go check out that scary dinosaur?

No! No! Don't go in there! He's going to eat you.

-I'm telling you! -Well, you're right, Candace.

It's very life-like.

Ma!

Wait! Where's my remote?

Meow!

Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad. There you are, Candace.

History is so exciting. We actually went back in time.

I know exactly what you mean, Phin. These exhibits make the past seem so real!

-Hey, there you are, Perry. -All right, historians. Let's head home.

Hey, Candace. This fossil is my favorite in the museum.

[laughing]

Huh? That's funny.

[Jeremy] I never knew cavemen wore safety helmets.

-[Dad] Fossils... da, da, da. -[machine rewinds]

[Dad] Fossils... da, da, da.

[machine rewinds]

Fossils... da, da, da.

[machine rewinds]

Fossils... da, da, da.

-[machine rewinds] -Fossils... da, da, da.

-[machine rewinds] -[Dad] Fossils... da, da, da.