Original subtitles

♪ There's a hundred And four days of summer vacation ♪

♪ And school comes along just to end it ♪

♪ So the annual problem For our generation ♪

♪ Is finding a good way to spend it ♪

♪ Like maybe ♪

♪ Building a rocket or fighting a mummy ♪

♪ Or climbing up the Eiffel Tower ♪

♪ Discovering something That doesn't exist ♪

Hey!

♪ Or giving a monkey a shower ♪

♪ Surfing tidal waves ♪

♪ Creating nano-bots Or locating Frankenstein's brain ♪

It's over here!

♪ Finding a dodo bird ♪

♪ Painting a continent ♪

♪ Or driving our sister insane ♪

Phineas!

♪ As you can see There's a whole lot of stuff to do ♪

♪ Before school starts this fall ♪

Come on, Perry!

♪ So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! ♪

♪ So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb Are gonna do it all! ♪

Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!

[Phineas] Hey! We're almost there.

What's the first thing you're gonna do at camp, Buford?

Find a nerd, take his underpants, and run them up the flagpole.

I don't think Camp Phineas and Ferb has a flagpole.

Then I guess I'll just find a nerd and take his underpants.

You may have my underpants.

They just got very messy all of a sudden.

Thanks. But it ain't the same if Buford don't rip 'em off you.

How about you, Isabella?

The Fireside Girls and I are gonna work on our accomplishment patches.

[all cheering]

How about you, sis?

What's the first thing you're gonna do at camp?

First of all, it's not camp.

It's just Grandma and Grandpa's cabin, and it's boring.

-But we made T-shirts. -Secondly, I don't like the outdoors, OK?

I don't like bugs.

Phineas, are you even listening to me?

I seem to have misplaced my ant farm.

-Mom! -Yes, Candace?

Do I have to go to Grandma and Grandpa's?

Oh, I think it's rather sweet that Betty Jo and Grandpa Clyde

invite you kids and all your friends every year.

But I'm not a kid.

I'm a young adult.

Can I do something with you guys?

Of course you can, dear.

You can join us at the antique symposium.

This year's keynote address will debate shellac vs. lacquer.

Whoo-hoo!

I'll take one of those shirts.

[sobbing]

-[Grandpa] Where are they? -[Grandma] Look! Oh, here they come now.

[laughs] Hey!

Hiya, Grandpa!

Well, hello, Phineas!

You haven't changed a bit!

Grandpa, that's not me!

-That's Perry. -Huh? Huh?

Oh! Oh, my.

Looks like I need to get my glasses fixed.

[laughs] With the glasses.

And Turbo Ferb-o!

[making different voices] Put 'er there. Put 'er there.

Put 'er there. Or there. Put 'er there. Put 'er there.

[laughs] Still a man of few words, I see.

-Well, actually, I-- -So, where's your sister?

Hello? Hello?

Oh, what do you have to do to find a cell signal in this place?

-Candace? -Oh, hi Grandma.

How can you stand it living out here in the middle of nowhere?

Oh, come on, honey.

It's not so bad. You'll see.

[Grandpa] All right, nature lovers!

Time for vittles!

Ha ha! "Vittles" is Grandpa-ese for "food."

Hey, where's Perry?

[clock ticking]

Sorry about that, Agent P.

We haven't used that tree slide in years.

Not since I was at...

The Academy.

[sad music playing]

[music stops]

Anyway, Doofenshmirtz seems to be up to something, Agent P.

He's holed up at his evil woodland retreat.

Your mission is to find out what he's up to.

Please, Agent P. Be careful.

The Academy.

[boy] But I don't want to go to The Academy, Daddy.

[man] I'm not your father, and it's been decided.

[boy] I love you, Daddy.

[kids shouting, laughing]

Oh, you pesky bugs!

-I am trying to tan, here. -[Phineas] Hey, Candace!

I thought I'd bring my favorite camp counselor a Phineas special.

[scoffs] That is just a glass of limeade.

-And I am not a counselor. -[Isabella] Hey, Phineas.

The girls have finished pitching the tents.

Can you sign here for our Tent Pitching achievement patches, please?

-[Phineas] Sure thing. -What are you doing?

Well, as camp director, I'd say I'm doing my job.

Gather around, kids. There's an old legend,

well, not that I believe it, about the sasquatch.

A race of giant hairy creatures living up here in these very woods.

[gasping]

If my memory serves, I think there was a song written about it.

Really? Do you remember any of it?

He remembers.

♪ He's Bigfoot, he's Bigfoot ♪

♪ He'll eat you with his taters And his greens ♪

♪ He's Bigfoot, he's Bigfoot ♪

♪ 'Cause to Bigfoot You're a fleshy tangerine ♪

Oh, no!

♪ He goes barefoot So he's always free to stomp ya ♪

♪ He carries a big stick So he can whomp ya ♪

♪ Sharpens up the teeth So he can chomp ya ♪

♪ So I think you'd better flee 'Cause I'm telling you that he's ♪

♪ Bigfoot, he's Bigfoot ♪

♪ He bathes in the water that you drink ♪

Yuck!

♪ He's Bigfoot, he's Bigfoot ♪

♪ So watch out, 'cause he's closer Than you think ♪

-Boo! -[kids cheering]

One more time!

♪ He's Bigfoot, he's Bigfoot... ♪

Ugh, am I the only adult here?

Why can't my grandpa act his own age?

[Grandma] I think you should act your age.

And have a little fun.

Sorry, Grandma.

There's all sorts of fun a young adult can have here.

You've just gotta use your imagination.

So come on! We're making stick figures!

Out of real sticks!

Grandma!

All right, all right, all right. We'll think of something else.

[spy music playing]

Ha ha! Tonight!

It all happens tonight!

-[crash] -[gasps]

Perry the Platypus!

How unexpected!

-And by unexpected, I mean... -[record scratch]

Unexpected. What are you doing here? This is my week off.

Oh, that. Heh.

Well, uh, well, I suppose you should know.

I-I've started dating again.

I met someone online.

I know what you're thinking, but,

but we're meeting tonight for the first time and I'm--

Oh, you gotta go.

-[doorbell rings] -Oh, no, Perry the Platypus!

She can't see you! She doesn't know I have a nemesis!

Oh, and I don't have time to destroy you.

You can be my pet.

You think you can act like a mindless animal?

-[door opens] -[woman] Oh, uh, hello.

I'm looking for Strudelcutie4427.

Well, aren't you the cutest little thing?

Are you my date for this evening?

No, no! Ha ha!

Uh, that would be me.

I'm Strudelcutie4427.

Nice to meet you. Uh, this is my pet platypus.

He was just going outside for a nightly walk.

Aw, could I hold him a little longer?

He's so sweet. Oh, yes. Yes, you are.

Eh, well, I guess he can stay a-a little bit,

but, you know what they say.

Three's a crowd and whatnot.

Heh heh.

Ah! Just how I like 'em.

You've just earned your marshmallow patch, my friend.

[sighs]

So Grandpa, what should we do now?

Tell scary stories? I got one!

Oh, Phineas. You always start.

Why not give another kid a chance?

Yes. How about you, Candace?

-No. -OK...

Anyone else? Uh, Baljeet?

W-what? Uh, uh, oh.

-Thank you. -[wolf howls]

Well, this is a story about a kid who comes to this country

and goes to camp.

He, like, has to share a tent with a bully.

It's really quite terrifying, actually.

Quite terrifying.

Take it away, Phineas.

All right, Grandpa. I've got a good one.

It's about Bigfoot!

[all] Bigfoot?

Bigfoot?

[Grandma] Bigfoot?

-Grandma! -Sorry, dear.

[woman] You are the cutest thing I've ever seen.

Yes, you are. Yes, you are.

You know, some people say we look alike.

Uh, I don't think so. Not at all.

No, not at all.

Uh, darling, you haven't even touched

your cucumber water. I made it especially for you.

You know, Strudelcutie4427 was a lot less needy online.

Oh, yes. Yes, he was.

I'm going to go get some air.

...lot less needy online.

[slurping]

Oh, I don't even like cucumbers!

Why do I always get the crazies?

And they say that when the moon is full, like it is tonight,

Bigfoot will return and exact his revenge.

-[rustling] -Huh?

What was that noise?

[gasping]

[all screaming]

I really should have packed more underpants.

[screaming continues]

[gasps] That sounded like screaming children.

But it's not my birthday.

Oh! [screams]

[all screaming]

You guys crack me up. [laughs]

Phineas, what are you talking about?

There's no Bigfoot!

It's just Ferb in the tree! Look.

See? They're just dummies.

Nice rope skills, my friend.

Then who is this?

Ah, it's an inflatable Ferb.

-[air hissing] -Heh, sounds like Ferb, too

That was awesome!

[groaning]

What was that?

You'd better stay here while I investigate.

[gasps]

[grunting]

Bigfoot?

-Huh? What? -Bigfoot!

No, no, no! Wait! It's me!

Ah!

[Doofenshmirtz grunting]

Strudelcutie4427? Whoops.

♪ Agent P! ♪

Whoa! That was a good one, boys.

You sure got us.

I can't take it anymore!

It was just a joke, Candace.

You're a joke, Phineas!

Candace, honey, calm down.

Calm down? Calm down? I don't want to calm down!

But your screaming might attract a real Bigfoot.

[mocking tone] A real Bigfoot.

Oh, give it a rest, Phineas.

Everyone knows there's no such thing as a real...

[roaring]

Oh, fine. What's this one made of? Popsicle sticks and glitter?

Uh, no.

[roaring]

Huh.

[screaming]

[gasping]

[screaming continues]

[laughing] Looks like we fooled 'em, Ma!

-[zipping] -[Grandpa laughing]

Oh! Did you see the look on their face? Ha ha!

That was so cool!

Oh! Good one.

-[air hissing] -And you got an inflatable Grandma, too.

Oh, I'm not inflatable.

I'm your grandma's identical twin.

I only come out once a year when these two want to prank someone.

Well, back to my closet!

See you next year, Lorraine.

Come on. Let's round up those scared kids and have some hot cocoa.

[grunting]

[screaming]

It's not the worst date I've ever had.

There was that one that kept stabbing me with a fork.

Get this off of--

[screaming]

[laughs] I sure got you guys.

You should have seen your faces.

Only unsophisticated, immature brains would believe in monsters. Heh!

Yes, it takes a mature adult such as myself

to know that there's no such thing as...

[stammering] Bigfoot!

[screaming]

Oh, I do not believe her one bit. Too much overacting.

-Yeah. Mm-hmm. -I smell ham.

Hey, Perry.

Why are you all covered in lipstick?

[chattering]

[game announcer] Get ready! Round 1! Fight!

[Stacy] Oh, ho ho! You're mine, meat!

[Candace] What, you want a piece of me?

Uh-uh. I want the whole thing, baby.

[both laughing]

So, what are you young ladies doing?

Wrestling, Mom. Favorite game.

Well, I'll just be running a few errands.

First, I'll get the groceries, then to the florist,

and then to the car wash.

OK, whatever. Kinda busy right now.

Call if there's any trouble.

With my brothers, might as well call now.

Huh. You're right, Ferb. I guess it would make a sound.

Say, where's Perry?

There you are, Agent P.

It has come to our attention

that all pigeons have left the downtown area.

Of course, on the upside,

I haven't washed my car in weeks.

[clears throat] We can, uh, only assume

that Dr. Doofenshmirtz is involved.

You know your mission.

♪ Perry! ♪

-That about does it. -Hey, guys. Whatcha doin'?

We remodeled our old tree house.

-What do you think? -Oh, my gosh! Wow.

Come on, check it out!

-This is the main crib. -Sweet.

Let's hit the tube to the top.

-Tube? -Sure. It's the fastest way up.

Are you sure about this?

Relax. We haven't missed yet.

-Really? -Yeah. You're our first passenger.

-What? -Whoo-hoo!

[screaming]

-Awesome. -[Phineas] Let 'er rip!

[Isabella] Ah!

[laughing]

[laughing]

Check out the view. Pretty sweet, huh?

[Isabella] No doubt.

What's that?

[Phineas] Oh, that's just Candace's old tree house.

-She doesn't use it anymore. -Well, that's just sad.

Hey. What if we gave it a makeover?

Sure. Something more, well, I don't know...

-Candace! -Yes!

[spy music playing]

[tires screeching]

♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated ♪

[shot]

Very effective, don't you think, Perry the Platypus?

[slurping]

Perry the Platypus! Get him! Stop him!

He's headed for that clearly marked exit!

[pigeons cooing]

[game announcer] Winner! Winner!

[growls]

[Phineas] Attention, Candace.

Come out to the backyard.

We have a surprise for you.

What's going on now?

Hey, Candace. Check out your old tree house.

I think you're gonna like it.

[Candace gasps] No way!

I'd better call Mom.

Oh, don't be such a fuddy-duddy, Candy. Come on, let's check it out!

I don't know, Stacy. I think they're up to some-- Whoa!

This is so weird.

I can't believe it's my old tree house.

Carpets, furniture, entertainment center.

I mean, look at all the bells and whistles.

Maybe my brothers have been replaced by aliens.

Yeah, and now they're gonna fatten you up so they can eat ya!

I can't believe they did this all for me.

[Phineas on speaker] You may begin bouncing.

Bounce?

[laughs] Come on, bounce!

[both laughing]

[both] Whoo-hoo!

-[phone ringing] -Hello?

[Phineas] What do you think of your new tree house?

I love it! You thought of everything.

It gets better.

Try pressing the THF button.

THF? What's that?

Some sort of sound system?

[rumbling]

[Candace] Uh, Phineas?

What does THF stand for?

Tree House Fight!

[Stacy] Oh-ho! This is so rad!

[both] Oh, snap!

[rumbling]

I'm taking you down!

[both screaming]

You see, Perry the Platypus, you are no match for my pigeons.

I have conditioned their tiny, little bird brains

to do exactly what I say, by using my brand-new very evil invention

called the Poop-Inator.

Vanessa, please.

Thank you. Uh, you two have met, right?

Vanessa, Perry the Platypus. Perry the Platypus, Vanessa.

Yeah. Hey. How's it going?

Observe!

With this, I can implant the target image on their tiny, little brains in a flash!

[cooing]

Heh, it works better from a distance.

Anyway, today at Town Hall they will award the key to the city

to my goody-two-shoes brother, Roger.

Oh, how I loathe him.

I like uncle Roger.

Thank you, Vanessa, but I don't believe I was talking to you.

Is your name Perry the Platypus?

No, I don't think so.

[sighs] I so should have gone to summer school.

I will not be attending the ceremony,

but my pigeons will be there to rain on his parade!

[cackling]

You see, Perry the Platypus,

by brother Roger is at the top of a very long list of people I despise.

Vanessa, music, please.

[vaudeville music begins]

♪ I bear lots of animosity to bellhops ♪

♪ They never bring my luggage up on time ♪

♪ And taxi drivers Really tax my patience ♪

♪ If they vanished Would it really be a crime? ♪

♪ I don't like meter maids Or underwater welders ♪

♪ Health fanatic cooks or camera crews ♪

♪ Not fond of monks or yoga teachers ♪

♪ Or sports fans in the bleachers ♪

♪ And I'm not sure How I'm feeling about you ♪

♪ There are lots of horrid people ♪

[cooing]

♪ On this planet ♪

♪ That I would love To give a lashing, too ♪

♪ But my goody-two-shoes brother ♪

♪ The favorite of my mother ♪

♪ Is the one I want to smother In a ton of pigeon goo ♪

♪ Yes, my goody-two-shoes brother ♪

♪ The favorite of my mother ♪

♪ He's the one I want to smother ♪

♪ Thank you, sir, I'll have another! ♪

♪ He's the one I want to smother ♪

♪ In a ton ♪

♪ Of ♪

♪ Pigeon ♪

♪ Goo ♪

You see, you see how I held that last note? Good, huh?

[Phineas] Tree house fight!

[both] Bring it on, maggots!

[girls] Whoo! Awesome! Yeah!

Now what?

Look! The controls are just like the video game.

Let's show 'em our mad skills.

[Stacy] Whoo-hoo! Let's dance, dweebs!

[Phineas] Hey! Stop leading!

[Candace] You stop leading!

[rumbling]

-[Candace] Give him the twister! -[Stacy] Right!

[Candace] Score!

Hit the crash button!

[crashing]

-Yes! -Whoo-hoo!

-Well done, Candirocks. -Let's nail 'em!

-[Phineas] Come on, Ferb! -[man screaming]

The enemy is upon us! Man the cannons!

Fire!

Uh-oh! Yow!

-What now? -Try pulling some levers!

Yipe!

Incoming!

[both] Yeah!

[both] Ew!

Egad, man!

It's an end run around the middle! Sound retreat!

[medieval song]

[Mom] Hmm. That's funny.

I haven't gotten the usual call from Candace.

[beep]

[Phineas] Come and get me!

[horse neighs]

[cell phone rings]

[Mom] Candace, honey, I'm at the car wash

and I'll be heading home very soon. Bye, bye!

Oh, no!

[Phineas] Phineas and Ferb to Robo-Girls.

Last one home is a big old purple pickled egg!

[clucking]

[Doofenshmirtz] Ah, the award ceremony.

And there's my insipid brother Roger.

What? Oh, let's see if I've got another coin.

Now, what was I say-- Oh!

I despise him so much.

You are about to witness a truly petty act of vengeance, Perry the Platypus,

brought on by my own mindless jealousy.

Vanessa, fire the harpoon!

Perfect. The time has come.

Do not fail me, my pigeons!

Ladies and gentlemen,

as the most handsome and charming man in all the Tri-State Area,

I hereby promise to keep our city clean.

[cheering]

Pay attention and learn something, Perry the Platypus.

Wait, wait! Where's Perry the Platypus?

He's escaping!

With the Poop-Inator!

[pigeons cooing]

[Stacy] Whoa!

Curse you, Perry the Platypus!

Uh-oh. This is not going to end well for me, I'm afraid.

That's what you get for using a bunch of stupid pigeons.

Wait for me!

Hold the door, please!

Come on, come on, come on, come on!

-[cooing] -[screaming]

[splattering]

[rock music playing]

[all giggling]

[girls] Whoo-hoo! Way to go! Yeah! Awesome!

Ha ha! We beat ya!

You're both big old purple pickled eggs!

-You were out of your tree. -Yeah. We were first.

Nuh-uh! We were.

[both] We were!

We were.

Looks like you're having fun.

Well, Mom, you know what they say.

Fun never falls too far from the tree house.

♪ Yes, my goody-two-shoes brother ♪

♪ The favorite of my mother ♪

♪ He's the one I want to smother ♪

♪ Thank you, sir, I'll have another! ♪

♪ He's the one I want to smother ♪

♪ In a ton ♪

♪ Of ♪

♪ Pigeon ♪

♪ Goo ♪

[screaming]

[Doofenshmirtz] You see, you see how I held that last note?

Good, huh?